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Role Model Slept With
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Upper Hand Gained, Lost During Course Of Sentence
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Evolution Textbook Hidden Under Mattress
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Block Party Watched Through Curtains
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Pounding From Car Trunk Growing Fainter
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Casting Director Casts Self
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Turtle Dials 911 An Hour Too Late
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Visible Part Of Baguette Consumed On Way Home
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Baby Given Cat’s Room
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New Report From Department Of Labor Finds Unemployability On The Rise
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Shirt Demoted To Nightshirt
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Reflexes Unaware It’s Just A Pigeon
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Baby Named After Real Father
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Gut Reaction Workshopped
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Disgusting Restaurant Now Open Later
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Grandson Warned Not To Get Too Attached
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Struggle With Pistachio Nut Enters Second Minute
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Cyborg From The Present Doesn’t Have Much To Say
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Web Of Intrigue Growing Tedious
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Sexual Harassment Policy Masturbated To
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Bullshit Newborn Not Even Christ
READING, PA—Saying the snot-nosed brat sure as hell better not expect any damn frankincense or myrrh, sources confirmed Friday that…
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Cat Clinging To Side Of Christmas Tree Admits That Was Extent Of Plan
COLUMBUS, GA—Drawing a blank just seconds after landing on the trunk of the Douglas fir, local domestic shorthair Butterscotch confirmed…
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