Bring On Lemons

Today was filled with emotion as we laid a family member to rest. The gentleman who passed away was dearly loved by those I hold most dear. My husband says "he treated me like a son" and "I grew up around them and he taught me so much". Thought I didn't know his well, I know the scenario all too well. My heart breaks for the wife he leaves behind, his children, and his present as well as future grandchildren. On the drive home, a favorite song by Jewel came on "My Father's Daughter" and I wept for the child I once was, for the adult I am...but mostly for cousin David's children. I am my Father's Daughter I have his eyes I am the product of his sacrifice I am the accumulation of dreams of generations And their stories live within me like holy water I am my Father's Daughter The immediate pain of losing a father is brutal. When I was 17 it shook me to the core. In my journal I wrote about how my life felt meaningless wi...

This is a crazy dream that I had a few nights ago. As Mark and I discussed it, we came up with no rational answers about where it came from or what it symbolizes, other than my greatest fear as a parent is that I will be taken from my children too soon. I don't fear death and I look forward to heaven, but I pray that my children will be grown when God calls me home. In the meantime, this story reads like something from the Twilight Zone - hopefully you'll enjoy it! May your paths be abundantly filled with lemons, sugar, sunshine, and dreams filled with happiness and fresh flowers! ~Crystal Denial A short fictional piece by Crystal J. Casavant-Otto He reached the voicemail the first time he called: "this is Otto, leave a message" said the voice on the recording. He couldn't bring himself to do it so he hung up. He just knew something was going wrong at the Otto household and he didn't want to overstep his boundaries as Mrs. Otto's Gynecologist. He ...

Yesterday I received an updated email regarding my pregnancy. The email said that the baby was the size of a lemon. At the time, I didn't think much about the comparison since each week there was some talk of food. The size of a walnut, the size of a this or that...and until this very moment, I didn't realize just how appropriate the lemony reference was. Let me explain... At 2pm today, my husband my son and I walked into the clinic for our scheduled OB appointment. I was 12 weeks pregnant and we were all very excited about hearing the baby's heartbeat and sharing a special family moment. We waiting patiently and then the big moment arrived. The doctor pulled out the electronic stethescope to listen to the heart beat. He had trouble finding it which wasn't all that concerning. He asked the nurse to bring in an ultrasound machine and then a special vaginal ultrasound machine. It was obvious there was a problem. There was a large pink elephant in the middle of the room ...

Today's journaling lesson asked me to write about a difficult childhood memory. After writing about that memory, I had an opportunity to reflect and talk about what was learned from the experience and what positives could be drawn from the negative feelings associated with a difficult memory. This was a fun exercise and this particular story is one that we don't often share with family or friends - I ask you to read this and hold off on passing any judgment about the characters. It is not written to embarrass anyone, it is simply a personal recollection of a child hood memory. I don't remember the year, but it must have been freshman or sophomore year of highschool. I remember it was the beginning of the track season and I was throwing shot put and disc that year. I remember doing something goofy in band (that's another story about my defiance - but the short story is the band teacher wanted the lights on and I wanted them off. Every time he would leave the room I wou...

It's funny - I sometimes feel like I got 'ripped off' because my Dad died when I was so young. I think...hmmm...what would I ask him now that I didn't think of asking then....in his wisdom, he answered those questions well before they were even on my radar. Let me explain: My Dad died right after teaching me how to drive a car. I don't know if he was Republican or Democrat. I didn't ask how he felt about abortion or pre-marital sex. I have no idea if he cared how many children I would have, and we never had a conversation about the type of house I would live in, how big my wedding should be, etc... So you're probably wondering how he answered all those questions if I never brought up the subjects? Here's the scoop. He taught me a lot of things, but the important stuff can be explained in Ten bullet points (not all that different than the Ten Commandments come to think of it): 1) "You don't have to know everything, but you need to know wh...

The Only One “Linda? Hey, are you home? Helooooo?” Phil called to his girlfriend as he set down his empty coffee mug on the island in the kitchen. Hearing no response, he shrugged his shoulders and picked up the newspaper and me, his buddy Whiskers. We settled in on the couch, I was purring gently while Phil tried to take in the day (or forget the day – I was never sure which).  The local news on the television.  Old tabby cat in one hand.  Ipad in the other. Predictable. Simple. Phil quickly fell asleep – just as he did every other evening after a long day at the insurance office. Phil and Linda had been living together for just under six months; they had settled into a routine. I didn’t mind Linda so much. She was much better than the other girls Phil had brought home. Missy was high maintenance and claimed to be allergic to me, Shawnda was some sort of dancer and her high heel shoes quite frankly scared me to death as I was afraid she was going to step ...

Let's start with me saying that I'm usually happy and positive. This is by choice. There's a conscious effort going on here every day. I don't watch things that are sad, I don't enjoy talking about things that are sad, I don't knowingly read things that are sad. I love having children for a variety of reasons, one of which is: I can own and watch children's movies without needing an explanation. I crave a 'happily ever after' whether it be in life or in entertainment. Now that I've gotten that off my chest, I'll explain why today's post title seems like a complete antithesis of everything I've just described. I found myself with a few free moments this evening. I don't usually watch anything adult on television. When I say adult, I mean...I love i-Carly, Gilmore Girls, and Jessie. I happened to be staying in the basement to wait for a load of laundry to finish, and that particular television doesn't have a remote. Side note ...

A fictional story to get us thinking about the silent mourners...thank you to several great friend for this fabulous idea! Please feel free to comment on this post with your own thoughts and ideas. They learned only ten years into their marriage that Anna would have only a few good years and nothing beyond that would be a guarantee. The disease would eventually rob her of her ability to walk and would make every day tasks impossibly painful. It was a lot for Steven to take, but he knew the importance of family. He was virtually on his own at the age of fifteen and he would never turn his back on his wife or their children. His story was sad to say the least with a drunkard father and a flirtatious mother - hard to say which had been more irresponsible, but the judge had given him the choice. At age fifteen he decided that being on his own was better than babysitting for the adults who had so obviously let him down. That was all history now, and Steven was in this with Anna through th...

Finding Clarity - a fictional lesson in communication. The scotch burnt his throat in a good way. He balanced the sail plan with the tiller lashed so the sailboat would rest quietly for the night. Her name was Clarity, written in lovely script across the bow. She was only 12 feet. Some might call her a dingy, but Jeremiah was in lust with her. Others questioned his sanity because he couldn’t swim a stroke. She was just what he needed when he dragged himself out of the office on rare occasions. Tonight was his night to sleep on the boat, several miles off shore. He was alone. He was lonely. As the last drop of the malt whiskey trickled down his throat, Jeremiah was reminded of the small red droplets on the living room carpet so long ago. He closed his eyes to block out their past; after all, exactly a decade had passed. He poured another glass. He had promised his sponsor that he wouldn’t let this anniversary shake his sobriety, and then he promised himself that just one glass...

The Gift of Time & a Daughter's Love Today's Guest Blogger is Rebecca Markvart  http://www.facebook.com/rebecca.markvart - she is a special friend and an amazing woman who shared a great story about her mother as part of our mother's day blog challenge. I truly believe that this is my mother's last mother's day here on earth. My mom is the strongest most beautiful woman I have ever met! Somehow I want to make her understand how special I think she is to me. She's been struggling to live for years now - somehow smiling through it all. Recently she has been put on hospice because she's dying from congestive heart failure along with many other health issues. I will miss her tremendously but she deserves to be done being in so much pain. I will most likely be spending this mother's day at the nursing home trying to make her understand how special she is. I know everyone feels that their mother is the best, but knowing that we're not sure h...