Doug: Welcome to another work week! And what better way to face the day (well, the next five days actually!) than with comics! Our pal from the Great White North, Mike W. is here to offer his critique of the 1985 Rocket Raccoon mini-series. I've not read it, although a few times I've been tempted to purchase the digest-sized version that reprints the series. So if you're like me, after reading Mike's thoughts -- what do you think?
M.S. Wilson: I thought I’d tackle something a
bit different this time, namely the Rocket Raccoon miniseries from 1985. This
was one of the few Marvel miniseries that I actually bought back then...along
with Jack of Hearts (which I don’t remember at all), West Coast Avengers (which
was great ... hmm, maybe I should review that next?), and Secret Wars.
Miniseries like Falcon, Gargoyle, Iceman, and Hercules didn’t really appeal to
me. The weird thing is, I wasn’t actually familiar with Rocket Raccoon at the
time; he first appeared in 1976 in Marvel Preview #7 (by Bill Mantlo and Keith
Giffen), which I’ve never read. He popped up again in Incredible Hulk #271 (by
Mantlo and Sal Buscema), which I also hadn’t read at the time. So why did I buy
all four issues of Rocket’s miniseries when it came out? I guess I just thought
the idea of a talking raccoon was cool. We’ll see how well it holds up, bearing
in mind the character is written differently here than in the Guardians of the
Galaxy comic three decades later (where I believe he’s more intense...almost
OCD at times). This also isn’t the Rocket from the movie...at least I assume
it’s not...I haven’t actually seen the Guardians movie. Now that I’ve destroyed
all my geek credibility, let’s get on with the review, shall we?
Rocket Raccoon #1 (May 1985)
“Animal
Crackers”
Written by Bill Mantlo. Art by Mike Mignola and Al
Gordon
The story opens in a sector of space known as the Keystone Quadrant, on
Spacewheel, one of those old-fashioned space stations shaped like...well, like
a wheel, of course. On Spacewheel, the chief Toymaker (an iguana) labors to
finish some toys for his employer, Lord Dyvyne. He’s interrupted by a Killer
Clown, a robotic assassin that looks like the Joker and Pennywise had a child. The clown works for Lord Dyvyne’s rival, another toy mogul named Judson Jakes.
The clown guns down Dyvyne’s chief toymaker, then flees, fighting his way
through chimp sentries until he’s finally blasted by a gang of rabbit
mercenaries led by Blackjack O’Hare (who doesn’t really look like Bucky O’Hare,
but I keep mixing up their names anyway). 
Lord Dyvyne (a snake) shows up and
realizes that Jakes sent the Killer Clown to kill his toymaker in order to
start a trade war. Dyvyne decides to call in the furry arm of the law...Rocket
Raccoon!
We find Rocket on the planet
below, known as Halfworld. He’s reading a book beside a waterfall while his
girlfriend (an otter named Lylla) and
her uncle Wal Rus (three guesses what animal he is) frolic in the water. Rocket
is absorbed in his book, the Halfworld Bible, which is written in an obscure
code (or maybe just a different language...the book is depicted later as being
written in English, but that may just be for the convenience of readers). This
scene is a little weird...all the animals wear clothes, but Lylla takes her
clothes off here to go swimming, so even though she’s covered in fur, I guess
she’s sort of naked? It gets Rocket’s attention anyway, and he’s soon swimming
with her. She invites Wal to join them (?!) but he suns himself and changes his
prosthetic tusks with the help of some robotic arms in his chest pouch. They’re
interrupted by the Keystone Kops, Rocket’s human deputies, which freaks Lylla
out, so I guess she is naked...at least as animals go. The Kops tell Rocket
about the assassination of Dyvyne’s chief toymaker and Rocket sends them back
to their previous assignment (tracking the Snail Gang to their lair,
which—according to Wal—should take them the next century and a half). It turns
out that the humans on Halfworld are all insane; the animals look after them
and provide them with entertainment, while the toymakers provide toys to keep
the Loonies (as the humans are known) distracted and happy. Rocket realizes
that a trade war between the top two toymakers could stop the flow of toys and
jeopardize the Loonies’ carefree lives.
Rocket returns the Halfworld
Bible to its shrine and watches the Loonies perform a ritual (involving
straitjackets and what looks like a really weird form of breakdancing). We
learn that the Bible was written long ago by the Shrinks and no one has ever
managed to decipher it. Rocket meeets with Lord Dyvyne, who accuses Judson
Jakes of assassinating his chief toysmith, displaying the Killer Clown’s head
as proof. Apparently Jakes has a monopoly on the manufacture of Killer Clowns.
Mantlo tends to use a lot of exposition, some of which falls squarely into “as
you know, Bob” territory. We learn that Lylla’s parents owned Mayhem Mekaniks
(Judson Jakes' toy company) and Lylla will inherit it when she comes of age.
Jakes is her guardian until then, which is why he’s running the company. I
can’t help wondering why Wal Rus isn’t Lylla’s guardian, if her parents are
dead and he’s her uncle. Anyway, Dyvyne wants to marry Lylla (for her toy
company, of course), but she only has eyes for Rocket.
Rocket and Wal go to see Judson
Jakes in their spaceship, the Rakk N’ Ruin. On the way, we get some more
exposition on the status quo: Halfworld is (appropriately) divided in half—the
animals live in the forested half, providing protection and companionship to
the Loonies, while robots live on the other half of the planet, where they
build ceaselessly. 
The robots provide toys for the Loonies (apparently Dyvyne
and Jakes design the toys and sell them to the Loonies, but the robots do the
actual building), appendages for the animals (like Wal’s prosthetic tusks), and
the robots are also constructing a gigantic humanoid-shaped starship. Nobody
can figure out why the robots are building this starship, since an energy field
around the Keystone Quadrant prevents anyone from entering or leaving (except
the Hulk, who’s mentioned here). When Rocket and Wal arrive at Mayhem Mekaniks,
sited in the desolate border between the animal and robot halves of the world,
they fly the ship down into a hollow crater so they can approach from
underground. Lord Dyvyne watches on a monitor (which not only contains the
image from the previous panel, but the caption as well...a nice meta-moment).
Dyvyne realizes Lylla is unprotected, so he sends Blackjack O’Hare to get her.
Back at Cuckoo’s Nest (as the
Loonies’ home is known), they prepare for their Great Masquerade as Lylla looks
on. The Loonies explain that the Great Masquerade is an annual tradition, in
which they get to dress and act like whomever they think they truly are.
According to the ancient wisdom of the Shrinks, this is supposed to be
therapeutic, though I can’t help wondering where this wisdom comes from...if
their Bible is indecipherable, it must have been passed down orally, but it’s
remarkable that the Loonies were able to remember it. A cloaked figure enters
the shrine where the Bible is kept and gloats to himself that HE alone has
cracked the code and read the sacred text. He then substitutes a different book
and leaves. Lylla spots him and thinks he looks familiar, but it’s not until
the Loonies discover the book switch that she puts two and two together: the
mysterious figure is...Uncle Pyko! (Yeah, I don’t know who that is either. It
turns out he works as Judson Jakes’ chief toy designer, but we don’t find that
out for a while.) Before Lylla can go after him, she’s grabbed by Blackjack
O’Hare.
Rocket and Wal fly underground
toward Judson Jakes’ headquarters. Jakes is a mole, so there are tunnels
galore, holding supplies, assorted junk, and creepy deactivated clowns. TheRakk
N’ Ruin is suddenly grabbed by a giant pair of nutcrackers (yes, you read that
right, nutcrackers). Rocket heads out to blast them loose and is confronted by
a posse of Killer Clowns called the Psycho Circus (which I think was the name
of a KISS album), as well as another meta-reference when Jakes responds
directly to one of the panel captions. Rocket fights off the clowns and blasts
the nutcrackers, giving Wal a chance to repair the ship (although Wal gets in on the action by
swapping his tool tusks for “more martial molars” and blasting some Killer
Clowns). Jakes reveals that he started the trade war on purpose and that he
also wants to marry Lylla to get control of her toy company once and for all.
Rocket finishes off the clowns,
but before he can go after Jakes, they’re interrupted by Uncle Pyko, who’s mad
at Jakes for letting the toys he designed get blown away. Pyko reveals that
Blackjack O’Hare has Lylla (though I’m not sure how Pyko found this out so
quickly). As soon as O’Hare takes Lylla back to Lord Dyvyne, he intends to
marry her and gain control of her toy company. I'm not sure why these guys
waited so long to go after Lylla...unless it's because she doesn't inherit the
company until she "comes of age", and maybe they can't marry her
until then? Jakes exhorts Rocket to save Lylla (which he would’ve done
anyway...she IS his girlfriend, after all) and in the last panel, we get a
glimpse of the more intense Rocket Raccoon from a few decades later.
Rocket Raccoon #2 (June 1985)
"The Masque
of the Red Breath"
Bill Mantlo-Mike Mignola/Al Gordon
Rocket and Wal Rus hunt through
the Loonies' Masquerade for Lylla and her captor, Blackjack O'Hare. We get some
more exposition, recapping the first issue. Wal scans for Lylla, but she and
O'Hare are in one of the parade floats, heavily shielded. Rocket is attacked by
one of Judson Jakes' Killer Clowns and by a Drakillar (which seems to be some
kind of giant space bat) sent by Lord Dyvyne. 
I get why Dyvyne is after
Rocket's hide, but I'm not sure why Jakes wants him dead. At the end of last
issue, Jakes was badgering (or moling, I suppose) Rocket to get Lylla back for
him, so it seems strange for him to send the Drakillar after Rocket. Maybe
Jakes realized he'd never be able to marry Lylla while Rocket was still alive,
and figured now was as good a time as any to get rid of him ... but you'd think
he'd have waited until Rocket got Lylla back from O'Hare. Speaking of O'Hare,
he was sent by Lord Dyvyne to kidnap Lylla so Dyvyne could marry her, but he
decides to keep Lylla for himself. Who woulda thought a mercenary couldn't be
trusted? Lord Dyvyne gets mad and summons the Red Breath, which is a red cloud
of vapour (I guess?) that erases everything it touches. Dyvyne sends the Red
Breath after his "enemies"-- which at this point should include O'Hare
and Judson Jakes -- but the Breath seems to lock in on Rocket for some reason.
Dyvyne also mentions that the Breath was created by his chief toymaker (the one
who was gunned down at the beginning of issue #1), but I'm wondering what kind
of toymaker could design something like that? And how was it "manufactured"?
Rocket manages to use his two
foes against each other...the Drakillar is blown up by the clown's grenades and
then Rocket shoots the clown. Wal picks him up and, using the superior scanners
on the ship, they track O'Hare and Lylla. The Red Breath arrives on the planet
and heads after them. There's a panel where the caption reads "...the Red
Breath appears, consuming even the sound effects of its passage." The
panel shows the sound effect (SHREEOOM), but it's not being
"consumed" by the Breath; I assume this was meant to be another
meta-reference, but some wires got crossed somewhere. 
Too bad... it would've
been a funny effect. At Mayhem Mekaniks, Judson Jakes' headquarters, Jakes is
mad at his chief toy designer, Uncle Pyko. It seems Pyko has been studying the
Halfworld Bible again, instead of making toys (or weapons) for Jakes. Pyko
knows Jakes is crazy (which Jakes doesn't really dispute), but he gives Jakes
his newest inventions to shut him up ... Vacu-sleds, which can suck up anything
in their path.
Back at Cuckoo's Nest, Rocket
and Wal crash the Loonies Masquerade to find O'Hare and Lylla, followed closely
by the Red Breath which starts erasing Loonies. Rocket, knowing his duty is to
protect the Loonies, fights the Breath and loses one of his rocket skates. He
refers to the Red Breath as a "nightmarish kneaded eraser", which I
think is one of those malleable erasers that artists like because they don't
leave crumbs all over the page. Meanwhile, Wal catches up with Blackjack and
his mercenaries and starts blasting bunnies. When Wal and Blackjack square off,
Lylla is worried her uncle will get hurt, so she agrees to marry O'Hare. I'm
not sure if that was meant to distract him or if it was sincere. Lylla's
characterization is inconsistent: most of the time she's the damsel in
distress, but every now and then she seems capable of taking care of herself.
She actually punches out one of her captors here, but then she turns right back
into a shrinking violet. Luckily (or not) it doesn't matter, because a bunch of
Killer Clowns riding Vacu-sleds come crashing through the window. (I'm pretty
sure that's the only time in my life I've ever used THAT sentence.) All of
O'Hare's mercenaries get vacuumed up, so he (predictably) changes sides. The
three of them run, pursued by the clowns, and end up in the main room where
Rocket is trapped against the wall by the Red Breath. Lylla gets really
annoying here, as she basically scolds Rocket for not flying to safety. O'Hare
jumps down, drawing the Vacu-sled-mounted clowns after him, and the diversion
is enough for Rocket to fly them both out safely. The sleds suck up the Red
Breath, and the Breath destroys the sleds (and their riders), until a perfect
equilibrium is reached ... the Breath disappears and the sleds are all
consumed. Conveniently, all the Loonies who were erased by the Breath pop back
into existence (with no explanation as to why the Vacu-sleds don't reappear too).
Rocket decides they need to fight a guerilla war against the two toymakers.
O'Hare joins them; Rocket doesn't seem to trust him, but says his knowledge of
hiding places and other shady stuff could come in handy. So they set off to
take the fight to their enemies.
Rocket Raccoon #3 (July 1985)
"The Book
of Revelations"
Bill Mantlo-Mike Mignola/Al Milgrom
This issue opens with Rocket,
Wal, Lylla, and Blackjack O'Hare caught between the forces of their two
enemies. Lord Dyvyne's simian soldiers man a Chimp Blimp (which spits explosive
bananas) and Judson Jakes' Killer Clowns man Prank Tanks, firing on the ship
from the ground. O'Hare (after making an obvious joke about a "gorilla
war") leads them to a hollow crater that he claims will be a way to
escape. 
They sacrifice their ship and bail out, tumbling down into the crater
and landing far underground. O'Hare again shows his worth by summoning the Wild
Worms, which live in the tunnel. The worms come equipped with saddles and
Rocket and his friends ride them through the tunnels. Apparently they're called
"wild worms" because the saddles straddle their pleasure centers, so
having riders drives them wild (yeah, it doesn't make much sense to me either),
but I'm wondering who saddled them in the first place? How did anyone figure
out the thing about the pleasure centers? You know what, I don't think I want
to know.
Elsewhere, Jakes and Dyvyne
agree to cooperate to eliminate their foes, although their forces seemed to be
already cooperating earlier. They also agree to split profits from selling toys
to the Loonies 50/50, but it's obvious that neither one really trusts the
other. They aren't quite certain if Rocket and the others are dead, since no
bodies were recovered from the wrecked ship or the crater. Lylla is again
referred to as nothing more than a means to an end ... in fact, they speculate
that if Lylla had control of Mayhem Mekaniks, she'd put Rocket in charge and
he'd give toys to the Loonies for free. Apparently it never entered their heads
(or Mantlo's for that matter) that Lylla could run the company herself. She's
just as altruistic as Rocket, so she'd probably give the toys away too, but
everyone seems to assume she'd need her boyfriend to do it for her.
Anyway, O'Hare leads Rocket and
the others to the robot side of Halfworld. O'Hare says he's familiar with the
place because he sometimes comes there to steal toys that have been built by
the robots; I'm not sure if this means he's stealing them so his employer
doesn't have to pay for them, or if he's stealing from the competition...he is
a mercenary, so I guess he works for whomever pays him. O'Hare takes them to a
cantina (and yes, it's full of creatures). They run into Uncle Pyko, Judson
Jakes' head toymaker, and he tells them he's cracked the indecipherable
Halfworld Bible. We then get a lot of exposition explaining the history of
Halfworld, as Blackjack O'Hare sneaks away (he's probably bored by the history
lesson too). Actually, the exposition is needed, I guess. We learn that the
Loonies were incurably insane people brought to the planet by their
psychiatrists to cure them, since they were unwelcome at home. The animals were
originally pets, and the robots were used to take care of all the day to day
stuff, so the shrinks could concentrate on their patients. 
The shrinks were recalled, leaving the
animals and robots to look after the Loonies, and erecting the force field
around the Quadrant to protect the Loonies ... apparently whatever planet they
came from had an irrational hatred of crazy people. The Bible ends there, but Uncle Pyko
speculates that the robots grew tired of ministering to the irrational humans,
so they genetically engineered the animals into sentience so they could do it.
The robots then retreated to their side of the planet to make toys, tools, and
the giant humanoid-shaped starship. Rocket is understandably chagrined--he's
been searching for some meaning in Halfworld's mixed-up society, but now he's
found out that his raison d'etre (or that of his ancestors) was to be a
pet for a bunch of crazy humans.
Before Rocket can have a
full-blown existential crisis, O'Hare returns with a multi-species gang of mercenaries
he calls the Awful Eight. (He also makes a John Updike reference, which I find
strange rather than funny.) O'Hare wants to get back into Lord Dyvyne's good
graces by bringing Lylla to him. A big shootout starts (it is a cantina, after
all!) and Lylla has one of her rare moments of agency when she decks O'Hare.
Rocket and the others (including Pyko) whittle the Awful Eight down to the
Terrible Trio, and then take off. Pyko makes a reference to them "running
low on powder and ammo", but they're using energy weapons, so that doesn't
make sense. Pyko takes them to the Assembly building to meet the Head Robot
(literally...it's a giant robotic head). Pyko says the Halfworld Bible can be
fed to the Head Robot and it'll be able to manufacture a toy that might be
therapeutic...maybe even cure the Loonies of their madness. He leaves the
choice up to Rocket, who is torn: he's just found out that he's basically a
glorified pet, but his mission has always been to help the Loonies in any way
possible. Being the heroic raccoon we all know he is, he decides to do what's
best for the Loonies, even though their being cured would leave the animals
with no real purpose. Rocket feeds the Bible to the Head Robot and the assembly
line soon spits out...some weird-looking helmets? How are those supposed to
help the Loonies? Maybe we'll find out in the final issue.
Rocket Raccoon #4 (August 1985)
"The Age
of Enlightenment"
Bill Mantlo-Mike Mignola/Al Gordon
This issue
opens with Rocket, Wal, Lylla, and Uncle Pyko (plus a sassy robot horse)
travelling around and distributing the helmets from last issue to the Loonies.
The set-up is kind of like an old medicine show, with Rocket and company doing
weird skits and puppet shows to demonstrate the helmets. I guess they're doing
it this way so Lord Dyvyne and Judson Jakes have a harder time tracking them
down. 
Unfortunately, one of Jakes' Killer Clowns is disguised as a Loony, so
word gets back to the two toy moguls pretty quickly. The helmets are said to
make people "think more clearly", which should cure the Loonies of
their insanity. When Rocket puts on a helmet, it makes him realize the depths
of his feelings for Lylla, and he lays a big smooch on her. We also get some
more expository dialogue from Uncle Pyko, recapping the first three issues. By
the time all the helmets have been distributed, silence reigns in the Cuckoo's
Nest. Rocket and his friends are worried at first, but Pyko explains that the
Loonies are doing something they'd never really done before -- thinking.
Lord Dyvyne and Judson Jakes
join in an all out attack against Rocket. The heroes are hard-pressed, but the
robot horse goes for reinforcements. We get another glimpse of the later, more
intense Rocket Raccoon as he goes wild during the fight. In spite of that, he's
almost overwhelmed, but is saved at the last minute by Blackjack O'Hare, who
shows up out of nowhere like Han Solo at the end of Star Wars. It's a cool
moment, but I'm not really sure what Blackjack's motivation is supposed to be
here. He says "I guess I finally realized that there wouldn't be much
future for a merciless mercenary if I let Jakes and Dyvyne skin
you!"...which doesn't really explain anything. I guess we're just supposed
to accept that O'Hare isn't as bad as he seems, despite plenty of evidence to the
contrary.
As the heroes prepare to make a
last stand, the fight is interrupted by the giant humanoid-shaped starship,
which lands nearby. Dozens of cured Loonies pour out of the ship and join the
fight, tipping things in favour of the good guys. There's a scene (which I'm
assuming was done on purpose) that looks like a reverse Planet of the Apes
reference where humans are catching the ape soldiers in nets. Jakes and Dyvyne
flee on a Drakillar, pursued by Rocket. The Drakillar gets tired of them arguing,
so it umps them onto a garbage heap. I'm not sure if they're meant to be dead
here, but they certainly look dead. Now that the Loonies are cured of
their madness, they want the animals to stay and help them remake the planet.
Some animals do decide to stay (like Uncle Pyko, since he makes toys not for
profit, but for the sheer enjoyment of it), but most of the animals and the
robots decide to leave on the giant starship. The robots have figured out a way
to deactivate the force field around the Quadrant, so the whole galaxy is open
for them to explore. The last panel shows Rocket, Wal, Lylla, and O'Hare
setting out for new adventures...which, as far as I can tell, didn't really
materialize. Rocket showed up a few years later in Quasar #15 and Sensational She-Hulk
#44-46, but the others never appeared again. I'm not sure if any explanation
was ever given as to what happened to them.
This series was pretty good overall, but there were a
few things that jumped out at me this time around. Mantlo uses a lot of expository
dialogue to convey information. I know sometimes there's no choice, but it can
get tedious. There were also a few places where the story seems to jump ahead
in order to advance the plot, and there were a couple of places where dialogue
seems to be coming from the wrong person. Also Dyvyne and Jakes really didn't
have any reason to be bad guys; supposedly, they were greedy, but it seemed
like they were just there to give Rocket someone to fight against. I also can't
help wondering about the larger story. The Loonies look human (and are referred
to as humans), but where did they come from originally? They can't be from
Earth, because the technology level is too advanced, so I guess they're from
some kind of parallel earth? Also, I'm not sure how they existed on the planet
for so long; the story said they'd been there for hundreds of years, and after
the first (insane) generation died off, their kids (and their kids, and so on)
were all insane too, just from being raised in that environment, by insane parents.
So, nurture over nature, I guess? But it makes me wonder how they even
procreated...did the robots teach them? Maybe some questions are better left
unanswered. On the positive side, there was some good action, some humourous
scenes, and the art was great. I normally find Mike Mignola's art a bit too
weird for my taste, but it fits perfectly here. As we all know, Rocket went on
to become something of a star with the Guardians of the Galaxy, but it's
interesting to see his (somewhat) humble beginnings here.
