You Guys Hungry?

Here is the famous "lost" record by producer extraordinaire Dick Urine (a.k.a. Richard Yorun) whose claim to fame was producing the early records by a young and confused New Hampshire punker named GG Allin with his band the Scumfucs. After Yorun was killed in a mysterious motorcycle accident in 1987, GG (along with Black & Blue Records owner Peter Yarmouth) unearthed a bunch of forgotten recordings by the deceased producer. Evidently the guy spent the time recording his own music while sitting around in rented studios waiting for his bands to show up. Assembling a motley crew of musicians (including such Rhode Island legends as Jimmy V. Hendricks and Billy "Gee" Goodman on guitar), Yorun recorded nearly a dozen "solo" tracks through the years. GG himself wasn't above contributing some drums to the sessions but don't expect too much - the most all Geeg did was program a tinny drum machine. So how does it all sound? Well, at best it's a strange, snarky slab of lounge music toilet rock. It's not as offensive as some of the song titles may lead you to believe and kinda comes off sounding like a bastard (and less funny) version of "Weird" Al Yankovic. The music is terribly digital - overdubbed guitars straight through the effects processor on top of a drum machine. Yorun fancied himself a crooner and really sings his heart out - unfortunately his vocals can get a trite annoying. The lyrics may raise a dry smile but aren't all that funny, especially if you were expecting some GG-esque filth. Of course the whole record is a tongue-in-cheek excuse for a producer to be the musician he always wanted to be - when someone credits himself as "Vocals & Triangle" you should know what you're in for. There was talk of making a scratch and sniff cover, thankfully it didn't come to that. Enjoy.

Change Your Underwear

24 Songs For Teens And Non-Teens Alike!

Waaaay back in 1987 a young 15-year old Aaron Freeman sat in his bedroom and crafted an hour-long acid trip of an album - an amazingly astute precursor to what his alter ego Gene Ween would co-create a few short years later on Ween's epic The Pod. The material for Synthetic Socks' eponymous debut was culled from two cassettes recorded over six months by the New Hope, PA native - the "best of the best" were chosen by Aaron and Teen Beat Records founder Mark Robinson. What you get is a strange amalgam of instrumental odes created on a Korg Poly-800 (my favorite being "Tree"), surprisingly humorous teenage ramblings ("Weenstock"), good ol' garage band noise ("Cops" and "Collectives"), sweet "Birthday Boy"-esque love songs, prank phone calls and KISS. From the liner notes:

"Sprouted out of deep psychological problems and blossomed into a young virgin sound just waiting to be heard. It's all recorded in my bedroom with my tape deck and whatever else I can borrow off people. Synthetic Socks consists of me, and various guest stars. This cassette has been recorded over a span of about 10 years. I'm still in high school and plan to move where the trees live."

The guest stars include future Ween brother "Mike" Melchiondo on guitar (his acoustic untitled ditty to close out Side A is probably my favorite track on the album) and Ken Everett who both played (along with Aaron) in the jam band Pine Sheep. All in all, Synthetic Socks is a welcome addition to the Ween catalog - I sleazed out a copy when Teen Beat reissued a scant 55 cassettes in 1998 and it's been the holy grail of my dusty tape collection ever since.

On a side note, I just picked up a copy of Aaron's new CD Freeman. Twenty-seven years since Synthetic Socks yet there's a strange similarity to both records. It took me a while to get over Ween's breakup (and in that weird non-involved sort of way I was siding with Deaner) but Freeman is a solid forty minutes and is much more reflective of what Ween was morphing into than Deaner's "My Own Bare Hands" type of stuff. Worth a listen.

Proto-Ween

The $5 Slut

Named after the hilariously so-bad-its-great nazisploitation flick The Beast In Heat (trash cinema completists may recall the alternative moniker SS Hell Camp during its fleeting 42nd Ave. grindhouse run - as if the original title wasn't lurid enough) this backwoods Australian four-piece sounds like the retarded offspring of GG Allin and Sockeye. In a good way. Showcasing a singer (the venerable King Duey) that sounds like a mix between Johnny Rotten, Choke and Trey Parker and power-chord punk tracks reminiscent of the Scumfucs, The Real Fonzie is a real hoot. My favorite is the oddly titled "Pig! & I'll Fuck Her" - worth the download alone. While the actual band is long since gone, they just released a long-lost recording session with a shamefully hot upskirt album cover - pick it up here. Enjoy.

La Bestia In Calore

Most Of The Bands I Like Either Broke Up Or Now Suck

Way back in 2001 when they weren't hung up on doing annoying-as-fuck experimental noise nonsense, Ohio sludge outfit Sloth released their first full length LP parodying every genre in the industry. Every song on Division 1 State Champs is a gem and everyone who doesn't get the joke can fuck off. The opener "Paralyse" is a tough favorite to beat, an overwhelming sludgeasaurus of a track and it's the fifteen-year-old in me who loves "Story Of My Boobs" and "Ball Bra". There's a grunge song, nü metal song, Creed song (hilarious) and a few Smashing Pumpkin-esqe jabs. "Stoner Rock Is Dumb" is fucking right on point and almost makes me ashamed to have Orange Goblin in my CD collection. The killer thing about Division 1 is the fact that that Sloth is actually turning out some great music while intentionally making fun of everyone else's shit. Shame they gave up on their solid schtick for less interesting stuff. Oh well.

Hey Everybody This Is Not Rock 'N' Roll

Murder Murder Suicide

After years of searching I was happy to finally find Loinen's evasive split CDr with fellow countrymen MurhaMurhaItsemurha. Was it worth the wait? Well, yes and no. Loinen's opener, "God Of Plague" is a raging sixty-second blast of screaming sludgecore - wonderfully lo-fi in extremis. Brilliant shades of their early material. The second track, "Plant" is a strange, quasi-industrial (?) loop-heavy dirge with lots of samples and screams that left me feeling a bit empty. Oh well, making up for it is the hilarous noise/tardcore awaiting on the flip side. MurhaMurhaItsemurha sound like a even more retarded Sockeye and are just as entertaining. Lots of weird screaming, experimentation and nonsense - one track, "Epätietoisuus Eläimistä" (loosely Google translated into "Uncertainty About Animals") is simply the sound of someone eating. Solid stuff. Enjoy.

Shoot Me Too

Boognish, we hardly knew ye...

It's been a few days since Aaron Freeman announced he is "retiring" Gene Ween, and the news still hasn't sunk in. Ween was probably the most influentially important band in my life (especially throughout my drug-addled 20's) and to acknowledge their end is really like the passing of a friend. Of course the internet pundits are already speculating on reunion gigs and to be honest, the band hadn't recorded a whole lot since Quebec that I thought was up to earlier standards but it was still Ween mang and it was still better than most of the other stuff in any other genre coming out at the time. Ween played a soundtrack to my life for so many days, weeks and months...whether sitting up throughout the nights, coked off my ass, playing guitar to the entire God Ween Satan album for hours, driving to Florida (14 hours) to my grandad's funeral with only 12 Golden Country Greats in my CD player or taking my new girlfriend (and current wife) to see them on tour for the first time and watching her face turn from "what the fuck are these guys doing?" to "holy fuck! what are these guys doing!" There will never be another band like them. Seems fitting that some archived material from bassist Dave Drewitz's old side band Instant Death was upped on Ween's forum yesterday, seven tracks from an unreleased 2004 EP called Egyptian Mystery School. In honor of Scott Byrne's posthumous 51st birthday. Enjoy dudemangs.

R.I.P. Gene Ween

Currently watching: Sanctum

Currently listening to: Gnod Three Sticks A Penny

All Togethah Now

Solid compilation CD released in 2000 by the mighty Fudgeworthy Records out of Woburn, MA; the brainchild of Charlie Infection whom you may know as the other half of the seminal Ax/ction Records and drummer for Bay State mainstays Psycho, Bulge, Gonkulator and Cancerous Growth. Admitting to the loss of all his master tapes in the liner notes, nearly everything on the comp is ripped directly from vinyl so don't expect any hi-tech digital remastering here. Scratches, cracks and pops abound which only add to the charm - there is some rare ass shit showcased here and is without a doubt some of the best transfers you'll find of this material. Included are a few batches of Anal Cunt songs, GG Allin's "Legalize Murder" from his Freaks, Faggots days, Bulge's "Fartmaster," some obscure Meat Shits tunes, fast Boston hardcore, black metal, grindcore, noise, etc. etc. ad nauseum. A bunch of great music from a great label. Enjoy.

If It Ain't Fudgeworthy... It Ain't Shit

 
Currently watching: The Rite
Currently listening to: KoЯn The Path Of Totality

I Just Broke Up With Jim O'Croce

"Formed in Detroit, with unholy blasphemies on Easter Sunday 1993. Started performing live desecration rituals in 1994. Vowed to never play live again in 2003. Reunited in 2007 and played 2 shows (Chicago/LA). Re-vowed to never play live again 2008. Actively recording terror/metal/noise. New songs coming soon!!!" (from their rarely updated Myspace page)

Same old pathetic story, the only reason I found this band was blindly searching "anal" or "cunt" or whatever orifice I could think of on Tower Records' website (a la Porn) many a year ago; the Rats had a song called "Anal Cunt Is Gay" so welcome to my CD collection guys! Still, "Last Day Of The Sun" is a great fucking 45 seconds. And I've always just assumed that cover artwork is from that Mr. Bungle guy...

Fanning The Flames Of Fire

 
Currently watching: The Last Exorcism
Currently listening to: Human Infection Infest To Ingest

Cunty Cunty Cunty Cunt

Drunkenly searching "cunt" in the iTunes Store many a year ago I stumbled upon a curious 65-song album aptly titled The Cunt Chronicles: The Best Of Shat. Most of the songs barely eclipsed the one-minute mark, for once iTunes' preview window actually gave a good indication of what to expect. Ten bucks and thirty seconds later I was introduced to the world of Jeff Wood, an ex-singer for the Dillinger Escape Plan (which had I known at the time I may have passed... not a big math metal fan) who was still reeling from a near-fatal gunshot wound to the head that seemingly skewed his world view into a murky miasma of sleaze, shit and snatch. In a word: amazing. Cunt Chronicles is as much a punk album as a comedy show, each song a hilarious routine ("I Fuck My Pillow" a personal fave) but pulled off totally straight-faced by a competent band able to switch styles from parody to punk without missing a beat. Shat actually stopped by Richmond in support of their Cuntree release; playing a pathetic little sushi (!) restaurant for barely 10 people, the boys still got dressed in their Sticky-the-clown-gone-bad dildo costumes and ripped an awesome show, giving it all they had for what probably netted them $15 and a couple warm California rolls. Amazingly they made it back to town last year, this time in some dilapidated pool hall trying to attract new customers by masquerading as a punk club (update: they failed), for their Cunt-A-Doodle Doo tour. I wormed my way through many a redneck to where Jeff was selling his Shat-gear and I gotta say he came off as an incredibly nice guy. Actually ended up chatting me up for a while - this from a dude gearing up to don a G-string and dildo helmet in front of 20 drunken strangers armed with beer bottles and pool sticks. Anyways, here's the album of that night, the aforementioned Cunt-A-Doodle Doo featuring 50 new tracks of cunt-hearted goodness. Cell phone. Wallet. Keys. That's all you fucking need. He's selling the CD for a paltry $5 here (motha fucka's gotta eat!) so man up and buy the shit. Pretend you're donating to New Jersey flood relief and write it off on your taxes you cheap cunt. 

Give Cunt A Chance

Currently watching: 54
Currently listening to: Too $hort Get In Where You Fit In

Tasteless Tunes

Figured I'd finally get off my ass and upload a few more "hits" from Boston scumlords Bulge. First off is their 1993 7" L.O.A.D. (Legions Of Anal Doom, 'natch). Sadly the band's swan song, the slab showcases three sloppy tracks of tardcore including a re-recorded "Ballad Of Ron Jeremy" that true fans will note appeared a few years earlier on the amazing Ax/ction Records Apocalyptic Convulsions comp LP. Turn down the treble and enjoy - I was going to try my hand at mastering it somewhat but couldn't really make it sound any better (or worse) then it was, which is saying a lot. Up next is their (also 1993) Tasteless retrospective cassette. Since the tape features their 1991 LP Penis Rising which is already available here as well as the aforementioned L.O.A.D. 7", I only ripped the "one bonus song," a cheerful 20-second ditty titled "AIDS Hog" which is less of a song then sample and has its origins on on Slap-A-Ham's 1991 compilation Bllleeeeaaauuurrrrgghhh! - The Record. Anyways, hopefully it's the smell of a Bruins' victory in the air tonight that got me going on the Beantown tip but enjoy the sleaze that only Anal Violator and Stinky Ass-Finger can bring ya.

Can't Find A Hole                                                  Gotta Fuck A Roll

 
Currently watching: The Crazies

Currently listening to: Amorak Amorak

I'm a nerd, word

Oh man, do I feel like a dork for this post! First disclaimer: NO, I am not into ICP. Well, at least currently. I'll admit I was one of the suckers (and evidently there were millions else of you so point that finger at yourself too) that was drawn into the whole Disney/Hollywood Records vs. Insane Clown Posse's The Great Milenko drama back in 1997. Before that album finally got released, ICP shit out this admirable compilation mixing together twenty songs from their back catalog with various clips, prank phone calls, etc. I was one of those who had never actually heard the band so this seemed like a good start. To be honest, I liked it (and still do). The songs are edited down and the album moves along pretty smoothly. Some of the older stuff is a bit painful to listen to and I probably would have liked the band more if they just weren't so.... goofy?! Just too cartoonish for me. Funny, yeah in a Bushwick Bill type of way, but just not my style - I'm more of a Texas Chainsaw than Return Of The Living Dead type of guy. But then again, they do call themselves "Clowns" so did I not know what I was getting into? Buyer beware, huh? Who was to know that the Detroit boys would still be going strong over a decade later but would become such agonizing caricatures of themselves it's almost painful to watch. And listen to. Oh well, they're still gods in their own strange Wicked Clown/Juggalo/Faygo/whatever clique I guess so good for them. And Violent J's girlfriend is pretty hot.

Ring 3

 
Currently watching: Shutter Island

Currently listening to: Slipknot Slipknot

Rock Hard

While digging around the boxes of music in my house for their first album, I stumbled upon Boston toilet rockers Bulge's second release: 1987's Second Cummin' (or The Second Coming depending on which part of the cassette cover you read). Less of a straightforward live gig then their first album, Second Cummin' has Stinky Ass-Finger and the boys recording a set in Brandeis University's legendary WBRS radio station. Still a year away from becoming an infamous footnote in history as one of GG Allin's backup bands; Bulge plays through mostly originals this time - including a painful 15-minute ad lib dirge when bassist Moe Lester vanishes and the equipment goes down. Wotta riot - can you really expect much else from an album that's produced by a guy named Chimpy Tunormal? Just like their other live tape, this one oozes with a banal self-importance and smarmy suck-my-dick attitude. The liner notes thank GG, Chimpy and the Mentors... ending with an "Everyone Else Fuck Off." Cheers boys.

Worthy of mention for Allin fans, Second Cummin' shows that the ol' Public Animal #1 wasn't above blatantly pilfering music from the guys he played with (in case you are a moron, Bulge backed up GG on Freaks, Faggots, Drunks & Junkies). We all know "Outlaw Scumfuc" was poached (heh) from David Allen Coe's "Longhaired Redneck" and that "Dope Money" is basically the Peter Gunn theme over and over but did you know Bulge already had a "Suck My Ass (It Smells)"?  Sure, it's called "Wash Your Crack" but the obvious similarities are laughably apparent. They also play a familiar sounding tune called "Last In Line (Gangbang)"... could it be? Add a few tastier lyrics and Voilà! You got "Anti-Social Masterbator"! But then there's another song called "Last In Line For The Gangbang" on Freaks as well! Aw, fuck it... let's just say Bulge deserves more credit then they'll probably ever get for what many consider Allin's finest album.

Fuckin' Awright!

 
Currently watching: The Frighteners

Currently listening to: Cypress Hill III: Temples Of Boom

Meet The Meat!

A cassette-only oddity from Long Island, Horsemeat's 1995 demo Meet The Meat! is tough to categorize - it's punk, prog and power metal all mixed into one. Four tracks of straightforward jokecore, the songs are absolutely retarded (the highlight being a tune dedicated to Three O'Clock High's Buddy Revell) yet ooze a slick groove that keeps them listenable. My only real criticism is the overuse of echo and chorus effects, at times it sounds as if the guys were recording in a wind tunnel! Not much seemed to come of the demo and Horsemeat faded into mid-90's obscurity (hell, they're not even on Encyclopeadia Metallum!!) but I was surprised to find the members have moved onto quite significant music careers. Guitarist Bill Voccia formed the successful AC/DC cover band Live Wire while guitarist Scott Mosher has an extensive catalog of graphic design and artwork - as well as a series of progressive metal albums under his belt. 'Meat vocalist Todd Corsa is still with him providing vocals and keyboards. Check out his website for more info - you'll be amazed.

7/29/14 update: Just re-upped a brand new rip of the original cassette which removed all the annoying low-end hum found in the previous. Enjoy.

Derp!

 
Currently watching: The Mutilator

Currently listening to: Jimi Hendrix Axis: Bold As Love

We Are Bulge!

GG Allin's sleazy Freaks, Faggots, Frunks & Junkies oozed onto my turntable (thank you Princeton Record Exchange!) during my junior year in highschool, featuring not only some of the late Outlaw Scumfuc's greatest tracks but also his most coherent backup band to date - Boston hardcore pioneers Psycho performing as their Mentors-esque alter ego, Bulge. Surprisingly, unlike most of Allin's one-shot-barely-a-band outfits, Bulge was a legit threesome that had been making their own noise around the Boston area for a few years prior. Playing a sloppy, grimy snotcore complete with "err-ah" Kennedy accents to boot, Bulge dropped a few cassette-only albums in the 80's as well as a couple of vinyl platters once they saw GG's popularity began to take off (gotta ride the wave when ya can, no?) Their first release was 1986's Live, In The Raw!, a lo-fi testament to random cover tunes (Ramones, ZZ Top, Mötley Crüe and a few others) and a sadly unenthusiastic crowd. Recorded at the legendary Chet's Last Call in August 1986, the band stays pretty tight through six songs and ya gotta give 'em credit for incessantly trying to get the crowd going. I guess when you open with a 5-minute "We Are Bulge" theme song complete with porno clips in the medley you're trimming your audience base a tad. But who am I to judge, I'm probably one of a hundred people out there who willingly dropped $5 for this snapshot of local Boston hardcore twenty years ago. Who's laughing now?

Wash Your Crack

 
Currently watching: The Squid And The Whale

Currently listening to: Cephalic Impurity Unique Brute Revival

No One Here But Us Chickens...

Rarely does one encounter a two-piece that is just a bass and drums combo. While admittedly a huge fan of Ween (and almost everything they do) my apprehension was high when I saw this record, I wasn't sure what bassist Dave Dreiwitz was going to accomplish with only a drummer backing him up. Boy was I wrong. With a thunderous down-tuned bass that almost defies logic in its heaviness paired with Scott Byrne's booming percussion, Instant Death surf the boundaries of pop, funk, sludge, fuzz and noise with their middle finger firmly inserted up their ass. Goofy lyrics and vocals make this one a real treat - no one's taking this one too seriously and if you do you're missing the point. Enjoy.

R.I.P. Scott Byrne

Those crazy Boston kids...

In Seth Putnam's own words... 

"Shit Scum was formed sometime in 1988. They had other names for it before that. Seth first got in contact with Fred when he saw an ad in a record store looking for musicians (I forgot what in particular). Seeing Cryptic Slaughter as the only influence listed, Seth decided to call, because there weren't many people in the Boston area into that band. During the conversation, Seth talked Fred into seeing his band, Satan's Warriors open for Executioner (Seth's last show with Executioner). Fred told him he had a band called Scum. They kept in contact, and when Anal Cunt were going to do their last show (Anal Cunt only formed with the intention of playing one show - this was that show - but Anal Cunt did play in a couple of basements and living rooms before that), Seth told Fred about it. Fred and his pals didn't show up, and Seth wanted Fred to see Anal Cunt. So, a couple days later, they set up a show with Anal Cunt and Fred's band, Shit Scum. This was the first Shit Scum show. It was at a warehouse Fred rented for Shit Scum to practice in, and was filled with old coffins from the previous owner. Since that show did well (on 2 days notice), they decided to have the first ever "Monsters Of Shit" festival, with all of the worst bands from the area. This was where Phlegm did their first show and Satan's Warriors did their last one.

Later in the year, Fred asked Seth to play bass on the first Shit Scum studio recording, "Self Mutilation". So, from then on, Seth was a full time member. They did one show in Pennsylvania in early 1990. Shortly after that, Seth and Fred (without Wayne) went to the prestigious Fort Apache Studios, where tons of famous gay college rock bands had recorded. The engineer hated them, and even tried to talk them into quitting the session and renting a 4-track instead. He was answered with "fuck you, you fag". So after tons of alcohol was consumed, the record was finally done. Fred did the guitar and vocals and Seth did bass, drums and backing vocals. 12 songs were recorded. They left owing the studio money, and the studio kept the master reel.

Shortly after that, Anal Cunt went on tour in Germany and would do Shit Scum covers now and then. The head of Ecocentric Records, Matthias Weigand, loved the cover of the song "Shit Scum", and was interested in hearing Shit Scum. A couple years later, Matthias wanted to release a 7". Seth called the gay studio where they recorded it, and asked about the master reel. The guy said "it's right here, pick it up whenever you want". He didn't know Shit Scum owed at least $200 in studio time. So, Seth rushed over to get the reel right away, before they remembered they owed money. Seth went in and mixed 7 of the songs from the session and sent it to the label. Due to procrastination, Fred never got a cover together for the record so Matthias made one up, and that's how the concept for that cover was born. The record was entitled Manson Is Jesus (named after one of the songs). Fred wanted the record to be called I Wish This Record Could Punch You In The Face and have a fist on the cover. For those who have the Japanese or European cover of Anal Cunt's Everyone Should Be Killed (with a big fist on it), that wasn't a ripoff of Shit Scum, some fag at Earache changed the cover I gave him. I was furious when I saw the cover. By the time the record came out, Shit Scum had broken up, and Fred was playing guitar in Anal Cunt."

What more do you need to know???

Seth And Fred

It's All Just Fuckin' Fuckin' Fuckin' Fuckin' Shit!

Well, what can more can you say about this band that hasn't already been said. Sockeye's core lineup of Fortunata, guitarist Kicky Game, drummer Yum Yums and bassist Poopy Gonzales spurted out of Kent, Ohio for this 7" classic in 1989. Musically their finest recording (and that's not really saying much), this split with That Cheezy Sensation still stands tall after 20 years. "Fuckin' Shit" is without a doubt one of the best songs ever recorded. Ever. Here's to you, Sockeye for giving a million garage bands out there hope.... if Sockeye can get a record pressed, why not me???

Derp!

Dayz Of Wayback

No this isn't a post about N.W.A.'s most disappointing album ever - it's a throwback to the compilation that really got me into the world of 7-inches, Maximum Rock And Roll classifieds, well-concealed cash through the mail and weird looks from my girlfriend (is it wrong to get all excited when Regurgitate's demo cassette arrives via international delivery after 2 months of waiting???). Already somewhat into the Boston hardcore scene and a burgeoning fan of A.C. and Exit-13, I jumped on this release: 20 or so bands mashed a 10" and bonus 7". How cool is that??? Looking back, Apocalyptic Convulsions was my introduction to so many great bands, sounds and styles that to this day molded my musical tastes.... From mincecore to snotty hardcore, this had it all, it makes a good first post and I'm only too happy to share it witcha.

Blllleeeeaaaauuuurrrrgggghhhh!