Jonah Hex V2 #51 "Divining Rod"

 Jonah Hex V2 #51 Mar '10

"Divining Rod"

Justin Gray and Jimmy Palmiotti - story, Dick Giordano - art and cover 

Our story opens with the graveside service of Brett Singleton, his grieving widow clas in black and the local preacher giving the eulogy. He tells of Singleton founding the town and how he wielded a branch from a hazel tree to locate sources of water. singleton hoped to expand his powers to locate minerals as well. Singleton eventually found a tree that bore such a branch and used it to locate iron and then claimed he could find silver and gold. 

He made the istake of talking too loosely of this ability and some neer-do-wells ended his life for the new branch. The preacher explains that the local sheriff is not able to avenge Singleton, so the preacher called upon a man to find the killers and return the blessed branch. That man is Jonah Hex.

Jonah is mounted upon his horse on a hill overlooking the cemetery and calmley dismounts and walks his horse down the hill. Hes strides up to the widow and demands where she is supposed to meet him. She stutters a response and Hex points out she is young, beautiful, and thrirty years younger than her late husband. She asks if he is suggesting something and Hex states that he is. She slaps him across the face and then lunges at him and the townsfolks have to restrain her. 

The preacher asks why Hex said that and Hex says he is investigating, like he was hired to do. The preacher assures Hex that she had nothing to do with it, but Hex has his doubts and rides off. The preacher the tries to calm the widow Rhonna, reminding her that Hex will find the killers.

Four men are camped in the desert. He continues to dig a hole already six feet deep. Stan asks if he has found anything but Ho replies in the negative. Jameson asks if Stan knows how to work the divining rod. Stan gets riled up and tells Jameson to get in the hole and relieve Ho. Stan says that if Singleton got the stick to find gold then he could too. The fourth man says maybe they need someone else might be better at it and Stan demands to know who.

Night has fallen and Jonah is in the local saloon having dinner. The preacher bursts in and is outraged that Hex is dining.Hex says he will work as he sees fit and the preacher should go get the widow and retrun with her to the saloon. The preacher says that he will not wake her after the day she has had. Jonah asks how he knows she is asleep, did he tuck her in? The preacher is astonished and Hex it will be much more unpleasant if he has to go do it. The preacher says he won’t allow her to be bothered again. Hex cocks his head and replies that he doesn’t quite know what is transpiring but he’ll figure it out. If he can garner a confession it would save a lot of time. The preacher storms out of the saloon.

Later the preacher, on horseback and wielding a torch, rides up to the widow’s house. The men from the camp are abducting her and the preacher sees them but does not intervene. 

The preacher bursts back into the saloon saying the killers have abducted the widow. Hex asks how does he know she didn’t go along quietly. The preacher explains that they struck her, he saw it all. Jonah asks how good a look he got in the dark. It’s pretty nard to identify men that nobody in town has laid eyes on, especially in the dark with only a torch. How is he so damn sure it’s them? The preacher asks who esle it could be? They were strangers and the preacher assumed…..

Hex pulls his sidearm on the preacher. Hex tells the preacher to pay close attention. The preacher knows those men, he actually partnered with them to kill Singleton. A real man of God would have nothing to do with a divining rod. The preacher has had his eyes glued to the widow and with Singleton gone she would need a shoulder to cry on. She would eventually fall in love with her comforter. The preacher shous that Hex is a liar.

Jonah slams the table forward into the preacher’s gut, gta s his head and slams it into the tabletop. Jonah sticks his gun in the preacher’s forehead and says the sins can be confessed to him or the Lord directly. Silence falls on the saloon and everyone stands there agog. The preacher the breaks into tears saying that he loves her so much. If Hex had killed those men everything would have been perfect. The people in the saloon grab him, shouting for a rope. 

Hex tells them they can’t kill him yet. He grabs the preacher by the hair, demanding to know where they took her. The preacher says they are in the deseert where Singleton had found something. Hex tells the people to get the preacher a horse. They call for the sheriff but Hex says the widow will pass judgment and anyone with a contrary opinion will sleep next to Singleton. 

At the camp Stan demands Rhonna make the divining rod work. She laughs that they are fools. Stan slaps her down but she explains the stick is worthless, it never worked and never will. Stan says they saw it work and she explains that Singleton owned all the surrounding land. He had found water by using the geology he learned in college in Gotham City but he salted the earth iron ore. He was going to bury gold and find it in front of some big investors. Everyone would be buying the land and Singleton and Rhonna would leave before anyone wised up. 

Hex and the preacher ride up and Hex pulls a gun on Stan and the others. Stan points his pistol at Rhonna and says she stays put. Hex wants to know who had a hand in the murder. Stan says he wants to know if the preacher was in on the scam. The preacher pleads ignorance and Stan says Rhonna explained everything and since the preacher pulled them into this, what was his plan. Rhonna asks what he is talking about. The preacher tells her to mind her own business 

It suddenly dawns on her that the preacher had a hand in Singleton’s death. Hex spills the beans that Singleton was killed so the preacher could win her heart. She rushes at the preacher, the rod in her hand. With a quick lunge she buries the stick in the preacher’s eye. He falls to the ground and she straddles his chest, stabbing the rod into his other eye killing him. Stan tells Hex to stay his hand as the husband and wife were gonna scam the entire town. Hex says that ain’t his business. 

Rhonna says it is true but they didn’t wrong anyone. Hex says she wronged the preacher and she says it was because they killed her husband. Jonah says he has a problem, a woman that killed a man who killed nobody and the these other four men. Stan says he has no proof and they draw on Jonah, and the four of them die quickly by Jonah’s hand as he guns them down. 

Rhonna, kneeling in the dirt, asks if Jonah will kill her. Jonah says they had a bounty on their heads and she doesn’t. She mounts a horse and says Jonah will never see her again. Jonah replies “Never say never.”

Statistics for This Issue
Men Killed by Jonah - Four
Running Total - 860 (432 past, 55 future, 15 Vertigo, 358 V2)
Jonah's Injuries - None.
Timeline - Two days
Rape Percentage -  22% (11 of 51)

It was fantastic to see Giordano do an issue. I love his work and I think this was the last book he worked on prior to his death in March of 2010. 

The story was the kind I liked, something with lots of twists and turns. And Jonah figuring things out just by observing how folks behaved and putting the things together. Jonah being more of a detective of human nature rather than a tracker in the wild was a good change. This is one of the top notch stories of the series. Also, the mention of Gotham City was a nice foreshadowing of the All-Star Western series on the horizon. 

But the elephant in the room is the Once Again Crazy Assed Christian trope. While I despise this as lazy writing this time it was a liiiiitle more believable in that this was a man in love who stumbled trying to win a woman’s love. Rather than taking scripture out of context and becoming the personified wrath of god, we see a man with natural needs taking the wrong path to get what he wants. Granted, he could have been the sheriff, the mayor, anybody in town and the story would have worked.

Next issue: Deep into the swamps once more and family problems. 

Weird Western Tales #48 "Slaveboat"

 Weird Western Tales #48 Sept/Oct 1978 

"Slaveboat"

Gerry Conway, story - Dick Ayers & George Evans, art - James Sherman & Dick Giordano, cover

Wednesday, April 23rd, 1862. New Orleans, Louisiana.

Scalphunter has been captured by Reginald Ashe and is bound in chains aboard the slaveboat (hence the title) Swanee Dawn. The slave master is whipping Scalphunter, berating him for being a white man in warpaint making him a savage. Scalphunter grabs the end of the whip and jerks the slave master down into the hold. Even in chains Scalphunter is a force of nature and he quickly cracks the man's neck. (notice how I didn't make any mention of the word 'Cracker'? Such restraint!)

  The slaves are worried what will become of them once this is discovered. Scalphunter says that together they can free themselves.

  We see that Mademoiselle Magarit is speaking with Reginald Ashe aboard ship. She warns him about keeping Scalphunter on board but Ashe is having none of it. He has paid for Magarit's girls to be on board and he expects them to be more 'friendly'. She reminds him that this was all her plan and he plants a big wet smacker on her. They are interrupted by General St. Samuels.

  The two men retire to Ashe's quarters where the General reveals that his spies downriver that Admiral Farragut has breached the the Confederate blockade of the Mississippi and that Farragut is planning on getting past the two Confederate forts guarding New Orleans and will land troops before dawn. He says they have to cast off immediately in order to get the slaves delivered else they shall have to kill them all. Ashe says he'll get the ship underway, but what could possibly go wrong. 

  On shore we see a dark hooded figure slide from the wharf into the water and make their way on board the Swanee Dawn. The figure slips into the stateroom of Mademoiselle Magarit and reveals himself to be Wakwame!!! Wakwame explains that he knows places on the body where a knife can go that will cause no serious injury. He managed to position himself at the right time so that Scalphunter's thrust did not cause death and that his 'death' was merely an illusion of magic. Since Ashe's men thought him dead, they tossed him aside and ignored him.

  Shortly thereafter, the Swanee Dawn casts off and makes its way north. Down in the hold we learn that the slaves have freed themselves from being chained to the ship, though they still have chains on their hands (it is unknown how they actually did it). They make their way through back passages in the hold, finding a concealed door. Scalphunter slowly opens the door and knocks out the guard that was napping on the other side. Scalphunter tells the slaves they now have a knife and a gun and fire but the slaves say that without the key to the shackles, they are unable to swim to shore. Scalphunter assures them he knows who holds the key...Reginald Ashe!

  A dozen miles downriver at Fort Jackson, lookouts realize that the U.S.S. Hartford, Brooklyn and Varuna are slipping past the fort. The alarm is sounded and the fort opens fire upon the ships. However, the ships are able make their way past the fort at 03:40, making their way to New Orleans.

  Back on the Swanee Dawn, the door to the bridge opens and Scalphunter grabs Ashe by the throat, dragging him out. Scalphunter demands the key to the shackles and Ashe tosses the key down to the slaves on deck. Scalphunter then demands to know what happened to Samantha Savage. She said she loved Ashe and was going to be his wife. Ashe says he sent her east to Atlanta. He says Samantha wanted to be married but not to him, so he had Mademoiselle Magarit take Samantha to a business partner of the Madam. Scalphunter asked if Samantha worked for Mademoiselle Magarit and Ashe starts to say she was the most promising...BAM! Scalphunter knocks him out cold.

  Scalphunter tells the slaves that he needs to find Mademoiselle Magarit and the slaves proceed to take over the Swanee Dawn. Scalphunter battles Confederate guards, searching for the woman and the ship is now engulfed in flame. Scalphunter grabs Ashe once again, demanding to know where his quarry is. In a fit of rage, Scalphunter grabs Ashe and pushes both of them over the railing into the Mississippi. 

The General and others on board attempt to follow suit but find themselves entangled in chains that formerly bound their cargo. Enmeshed in the iron, everyone on board is dragged to the bottom of the river.

On the shore, Reginald Ashe is horrified at the carnage and death but Scalphunter demands to know where his sister in located in Atlanta. Ashe says she is with a woman named Maxwell but he doesn't know the address. Scalphunter turns to leave into the dark as Ashe swears he will pay for what he has done to Ashe.

 That day, at an undisclosed location, Mademoiselle Magarit is riding is a carriage driven by Wakwame. Mademoiselle Magarit says they were very fortunate to have left the Swanee Dawn prior to its departure and Wakwame says he only wants to find his brothers in Atlanta. She says that will be no trouble because they are being hidden by a woman named Maxwell.

Statistics for this Issue
Men Killed by Scalphunter - Wow, this one is tough. We see Scalphunter kill four guards but we can't really count the entire passenger list of the boat on him since the fire was started from 'spilled torches'. Were these caused by the slaves rioting? The shelling from the Union boats? I'm gonna keep it at four but it's probably a lot more
Running Total - 91
Compared to Jonah Hex- Ten appearances in and Scalp has 91 vs Jonah's 56
Scalps Taken - 0
Running Total- 14
Injuries - Whipped. 
Timeline - One day, Wednesday, April 23rd, 1862.

I enjoyed this one. More intrigue with Mademoiselle Magarit, Wakwame returns and an entire boatload of Confederates get an ironic death, and Scalphunter gets one step closer to finding his sister. This issue was part of the DC Explosion and had an 8 page backup introducing Cinnamon, a character that started off wonderfully but.... timelines and all that. I'll be giving her separate posts because I think there was a lot of potential there

Next Issue: A rocky train ride and nobody judges another man's Charity.

Hex #11 "Night of the Bat"

HEX #11 July 1986
"Night of the Bat"
Michael Fleisher, story - Mark Texeira and Carlos Garzon and Pablos Marcos, art - Denys Cowan and Dick Giordano, cover

Remember waaaay back when in issue 10 that those flying motorcycle things were shooting at Jonah? Well it turns out that they're some sort of hovercraft and Jonah Hex is being targeted because Mabel wants her guns back. But of course the guys sent to do Mabel's dirty work have made two mistakes:

1. They went after Jonah Hex.
2. They are using something that can be shout out of the sky.

And of course, Jonah does just that, nailing one machine but suddenly another hovercraft comes swinging along and blows the bejesus out of the other thug. It then lands and the guys inside present Jonah with the bloody outfit of Stiletta's.

JUMP CUT!!!

Deep underneath the ruins of the Needle, Reinhold Borsten is clawing his way through the rubble when he hears someone else digging DOWN towards him. It turns out to be Kinglet. Hmm, Kinglet? Kinglet? I THINK he's a doctor or a flunky. I'll check and get back to you later. ANYWAY, Kinglet has found Borsten and he is wearing an airtank and a mask. He tells Borsten that they will have to share the airtank but they can make it back to the surface. Borsten grabs the air mask, whips out a pistol and kills Kinglet. Borsten then dons the airtank and as he claws his way to the surface he mentally vows that he will make Jonah Hex suffer for having caused Kinglets death. Wow, I thought Quentin Turnbull was one twisted dude.

Back in the city, Jonah is riding in a hovo with his new 'friends' who are showing him a video of some shadowy figure whipping Stiletta. The new 'friends' print off a photo of the assailant so Jonah can find him...

Now we are in New York city and seeing it through an infrared lens and via a zoom lens we see a thug toting a pistol. That, in and of itself, is enough to throw this man into action...

That's right, it is the Batman of 2050 and New York City has a no gun rule that he upholds. Batman beats the living crap out of the smugglers and then blows up all the weaponry that the smugglers were bringing into the city. He jumps into his Batplane and returns to his secret lair deep within the Statue of Liberty. It is then that we are treated to a ..

FLASHBACK ORIGIN!!!!

Five short years ago (2045) Batman was a world-class gymnast and a doctoral candidate in Criminology at the John Jay College of Criminal Justice in New York. He idolized Batman and finally figured out that Batman was really Bruce Wayne and had actually discovered the original Batcave. He was in the Batcave when the missiles were launched. He survived the war and missed the madness that ensued.

Both of his parents also survived. His mother, Miram Cohen, was a rabbi and was a proponent of gun control. His father, Kenneth Cohen was a top level disarmament negotiator under three administrations. Sadly, they were of two groups that were targeted in the new mob mentality, Jews and Gun control advocates. One evening, they were gunned down and therefore the new Batman was born.
END OF FLASHBACK ORIGIN!!!!

The next afternoon, deep in the heart of New York in a fortified headquarters we see some very large robots withstand lasers, huge titanium hammers and other dangers. The owners of the robots are pitching them as new 'enforcers' for NYC. Sadly, all of the firepower that the robots were to have has been destroyed by the Batman. The owners are telling their clients, the Municipal Welfare Council, that the robots will be unable to fulfill the order until the Batman is gone. Who should control crime in this town, a vigilante or the people?

That night, Jonah Hex is dropped of in the slums by his new 'friends'. Jonah, not knowing who or what Batman is, and not knowing of the Batman's rule, boldly walks through town with his pistol strapped to his hip. It doesn't take long for Batman to locate Jonah and swoop down, starting a fight. Of course, Jonah recognizes the man who beat Stiletta and is more than happy to take on the caped man.

Batman is able to disarm Hex and take his pistols. Then Batman flies off but Jonah isn't finished. Grabbing his knife, Hex throws it and manages to pierce Batman's cape and damage the anti-grav disc that gives Batman flight. Batman plummets onto a nearby rooftop and Jonah makes tracks up the fire-escape and continues the fight. Batman grabs Jonah and flips him over the edge of the roof, but Jonah grabs Batman and drags him over the edge with him. Of course, they both are now falling to their deaths....

Statistics for this issue

Men Killed by Hex - 1 in the rotor-bike
Running Total - 474 (428 past, 46 future)
Jonah's Injuries - None
Timeline - This issue starts and the end of the prior issue and then we have one day pass. That would mean that we are now end on day 16 of Jonah in the future. Wow, That's a busy two weeks for anybody!

If I have to accept that Jonah Hex is part of the DCU (and I don't want to) this is a fun story. Hex is a pawn and gets suckered into the fight with Batman. This version of Batman, while understandable in his mission, kinda tosses aside the stuff he should have been learning in college about the Constitution and decides to take everything into his own hands. Granted, the 'law' is now the Conglomerate (aka The Mob), but it appears that he has no forward vision of rebuilding a society that can govern itself.

And of course, we get Jonah Hex in New York so what is not to love? This issue gets a thumbs up.

Next Issue: Will Jonah get his pistols back? Will he survive that fall from the roof? Find out and watch the fireworks when the giant robots get involved and everything gets blown all to hell.

Jonah Hex #87 "Resurrections"

Jonah Hex #87
"Resurrections"
Michael Fleisher, story - Tony DeZuniga, art - Ed Hannigan & Dick Giordano, cover

We have cheesecake, yes we do. We have cheesecake, HOW 'BOUT YOU?!?!?

Well, if you have a copy of Jonah Hex #87, you have enough cheesecake to open a factory and name it thusly. Our timely tale opens with Jonah Hex packing his bags while Adrian is lounging in an 'easy on the eyes' nighty in an obvious attempt to have Megan Fox portray her in the upcoming film.

Adrian wants to know why Jonah is suddenly leaving and Jonah finally fesses up that he doesn't want to be a lap dog to some high society debutante. Jonah does offer to take her along with him, back to the wild west, but Adrian is hesitant to leave her family and Jonah walks out with a slam of the door.

Meanwhile (and there will be a lot of that word being used this issue), Brett is reading in the Orleans Daily (even though they are 100's of miles to the west) about the bank robbery that was almost ruined by Emmy Lou. They get into an argument with Brett reminding Emmy that he alone is responsible for her safety and then grabs her and starts with the smoochy-smoochy. And of course, that is the moment the other two women in Brett's gang return with supplies. AWKWARD!!!

Several days later Jonah has hitched a ride in the locomotive of a westbound train. The engineer is slowing down to let Jonah off but then he sees something on the tracks ahead. Of course, it is several sticks of dynamite that blows the train to Hell & halfway back. Four hardcases swoop down on the wreckage and start looting the train.

Jonah, battered & bruised, manages to pull himself out of the twisted steel but manages to get spotted by the looters. He ducks and runs off into a nearby swamp.

Meanwhile, in the town robbed last issue, the sheriff returns with his posse, having not found hide nor hair of Brett and the girls. However, the banker's daughter has drawn up a fantastic likeness of Emmy Lou for the wanted posters.

Back at the swamp, the four corpses-to-be's are still tracking down Jonah. Sadly, slogging through the swamp has jammed Jonah's pistols with mud, so he has to rely on his wits to get out of this mess. He grabs his knife, some scrawny trees and gets to work.

Meanwhile, back at the cheesecake factory, uh, I mean, Adrian's, she is still prancing around in her nighty-nights and realizes that if she wants Jonah Hex, she will have to go get Jonah Hex and after a stiff drink, that is just what she does (after she gets dressed, of course.)

Meanwhile, back in the swamp, one fool steps into a loop of vines, causing a branch to swing loose and slam him into a tree with a knife tied to it at heart level. His death spooks two of the survivors but the boss isn't deterred. It is obvious that Hex's guns aren't working and his knife is gone.

Just then one of the goons spots Hex, takes a couple of potshots and then gives chase. Sadly, he steps onto a covered pit and quickly lands on the bottom of the spike-filled pit.

Back at Brett's hideout, the two girls want to have a word with old Brett. He tells Emmy to hold tight and Brett and the girls take it outside. They think that Brett is showing too much attention to Emmy and he starts laughung that they are jealous. Of course, he starts handing out hugs and kisses and everything looks like it's gonna be alright for Brett and the girls.

Night has fallen on the swamp and the two survivors have built a fire, planning their next move. Just then Jonah leaps down from a tree above them, kicking the loving crap outta both of them. The boss grabs his rifle and Jonah grabs the other goon as shield. The boss fires anyway and Jonah jumps the boss and pummels him senseless.

Just outside New Orleans in a doctor's office, The Gray Ghost lays on his deathbed. His son, Jeremy, comes in and the Ghost hands over the uniform of the Ghost and has Jeremy swear a solemn oath to continue the work of the Gray Ghost. Jeremy does this and the Ghost, dare I say it, actually gives up the ghost. Jeremy, swears that he will avenge his father's death by killing Jonah Hex!

Next morning, Jonah turns the three corpses and the surviving gang boss to the local sheriff. The sheriff pays out the bounty and tells Jonah that he would be very thankful if there are any other hardcases up on the board that Jonah would want to apprehend. That is when Jonah spies a wanted poster for...

EMMY LOU HARTLEY!!!

Statistics for this issue
Men Killed by Jonah Hex - 3
Running Total - 420
Jonah's Injuries - none
Timeline - This one covers two days from last issue. No telling how much time elapsed between issues. I would say we are still in July 1878.

Not a bad issue. Jonah's killing of bad guys isn't advancing the plot here, just adding action. The plot now is mostly Jonah coping with Adrian and Emmy coping with Brett. We have seen no sign of Turnbull, Mei Ling, or JD Hart for some time now, but they will be returning. It's hard to review these issues as standalones, because they are chapters in a sweeping saga that will pretty much continue until issue 92 when things take a dramatic change.

I'll be posting more scans of this issue later, just wanted to get some color/flavor in there for now.


Next Issue: Copycat crimes, a bloody train robbery and the death of Jonah Hex!!!

Jonah Hex #79 "Duel in the Sand!"

Jonah Hex #79 Dec. 1983
"Duel in the Sand!"
Michael Fleisher, story - Dick Ayers & Tony DeZuniga, art - Ross Andru & Dick Giordano, cover

Jonah stops to offer a stranger a drink from his canteen, unaware that he has been set up by Homer & Wilbur so they can collect the bounty on the head of Jonah Hex. Jonah hears the click of the rifle pointed at his back and he starts to dodge but isn't quick enough. He takes a bullet in the side as he dives from his horse. Jonah swiftly draws his pistol and shoots Homer right between the eyes.

Wilbur opens fire and Jonah is barely able to mount his horse and ride off. Wilbur comes out of hiding and runs to his brother. But sadly, his brother has been shot dead center between the eyes, so he is only able to get out two whole sentences before he expires. Wilbur is racked with grief over his brother's death and vows to make Jonah Hex pay for what has happened.

Meanwhile, back at the state pen, Quentin Turnbull is riding roughshod over Warden Davies, berating him for allowing Jonah Hex to escape prison. Davies points out that even if Jonah gets the letter from the late Gov. Phelps, they can still frame Jonah for the murder of Phelps.

Several hours later, Jonah, wounded, is riding across the desert with Wilbur dogging his trail. Sadly for Jonah, Wilbur has a Sharps 74 long rifle (with a range of 500 yards) against Jonah's 30.06. Wilbur lets Jonah sweat it out under the desert sun and at just the right time Wilbur shoots the horse out from under Hex. Jonah gets tossed into the sand and ends up having to finish off his horse. He grabs his canteen and starts walking.

Meanwhile, Emmy Lou is trying to figure out where Jonah has gone since he left a week ago and she just keeps getting madder & madder.

Back in the desert, Wilbur is conserving his canteen of water and gets the bright idea to relieve Jonah of his supply. Wilbur takes careful aim and just as Jonah is getting a drink, he drills a hole right through that canteen. Jonah claws madly at the sand as his water seeps through his fingers. From a rocky outcrop, Wilbur shouts that he is going to watch Jonah die a slow death. Hex grabs his pistol and fires, but the bullets fall far shy of their target.

Elsewhere, J D Hart has located the body of Homer. He knows of Wilbur & Homer and figures that this is some of Jonah's handiwork. JD realizes that he needs to hurry up not just for Jonah's sake, but Mei Ling's as well.

While the time has passed, a sandstorm has picked up, blocking out the sun and pelting Jonah with stinging sand. Staggering through the blasting sand, Jonah comes upon a water hole. He drops down and starts to drink when he sees the sign indicating that the hole is poisoned. In a wild rage, Jonah grabs the sign, breaks it in half, tosses it amidst the storm and then curses God Himself.

Meanwhile, Mei Ling is lighting candles and praying for the safety of Jonah Hex.

The storm has abated as swiftly as it started and Jonah is crawling across the cracked desert floor. He is begging for water when he hears the voice of his father, Woodson, berating Ginny for giving him such a spineless son. Ginny starts crying about how she has failed her husband and Woodson blames all of his drinking upon his tramp of a wife and his worthless son.

Jonah starts shouting at the hallucination, telling his mother that he can stand on his own two feet and with a strength from center of his being, Jonah Hex stands up in the desert and struggles on.

Meanwhile (yup, we're gonna check up on everyone here), Quentin Turnbull is dining as best he can in a western town. He gloats that Jonah Hex will soon be destroyed and that he can return to his own business. Turnbull makes mention of advising President Grant on inflation and debt (placing this, at the latest, between Jan 1877 & March 4th, 1877) .

Back in the desert, Wilbur is starting to suffer the effects of the sun as well. He has reached the last of his water, following Jonah Hex in the circles of his wandering. Wilbur comes over a rise and finds Jonah Hex dead, next to a watering hole. Wilbur starts laughing at the irony of Hex being dead just inches from water and he starts gulping down the liquid. Suddenly he realizes how foul the water tastes and he starst getting cramps. That is when he sees the remnants of the shattered Poison sign. Wilbur curses Hex for having killed him and then collapses next to Jonah.

The vultures descend to start their feast when suddenly JD Hart runs up, guns blazing...

Statistics for this Issue
Men Killed by Jonah - I can't really give credit to Jonah for the death of Wilbur, but he nailed Homer a good one. 1
Running Total - 408
Jonah's Injuries - Shot in the right side, heatstroke
Timeline - This one happens all in one day and despite the reference to President Grant, I'll still place this one in April 1878 (maybe Grant still needed financial advice even after he was out of office.

From the great cinematic cover to the full page end, this one was one hell of a roller coaster ride. Fleisher kept the suspense up just enough by cutting back to the supporting cast and when Jonah finally had to confront the vision of his dad, it wasn't overly melodramatic, it was just right. Jonah was in a situation where nothing could save him except for his own determination not to die.

The only downside to the story was the length that Homer was able to converse after being shot square between the eyes.

The poisoned water hole had been used once before, but that was by Albano ten years prior. All in all, one of the best stories there was.

Next Issue: Explosions! Electrocutions! Snake Bites! Dehydration! Cheating Hearts!

Jonah Hex #77 "Over the Wall!

Jonah Hex #77 Oct 1983
"Over the Wall!"
Michael Fleisher, story - Dick Ayers & Tony DeZuniga, art - Ross Andru & Dick Giordano, cover

Jonah Hex lies in solitary, beaten, scarred, surrounded by rats. The vermin fight him for food and at times even gnaw on his toes. Lying still, Jonah waits and waits and waits until he can finally grab one of the rats and slam it against the wall in a moment of triumph (and I suppose, added sustenance).

Six weeks earlier, (by the recap) Jonah started his trek to this place and now, several weeks later, the viewport on his cell door slides open. The door slowly creaks on its hinges and in steps Quentin Turnbull!

Turnbull, in his never ending quest to gloat 'oer his foes, outlines his whole plan to Jonah. He tells how it was he who devised the chain of events that will keep Hex chained for 25 years and he even states that once Jonah Hex is dead, they will continue to keep his bones in this very cell. At that point, Jonah springs towards Turnbull, grabbing him around the throat.

Turnbull shouts for help and Kozrak and another guard come to his aid. They beat the broken Hex back into submission and Turnbull leaves the cell, letting Jonah nurse his wounds and contemplate his fate.

Meanwhile, at that very moment, Emmy Lou Hartley is in the warden's office demanding to see Jonah Hex. Warden Davies states that Hex is in solitary for sixty days and can have no visitors. Emmy says that she will be back when the sixty days are up and that she WILL see Jonah.

The next day Davies and Kozrak visit Hex in his cell. Jonah is on the floor, not moving. Kozrak thinks that he might have ruptured something during the last beating and asks if he should get the prison doctor. Davies nixes that idea seeing that Jonah was never supposed to be leaving that prison anyway.

Two more weeks pass and Emmy Lou once again visits Warden Davies. Davies once again denies Emmy access to see Jonah because Jonah Hex is DEAD!!!! Hex contracted a sudden fever and dies two days ago. Davies is even so nice as to allow Emmy to view the grave but she is unable to relocate the corpse due to the quarantine imposed on Jonah's body. The fever was of unknown origin, so the doctor issued a general quarantine.

The news of Hex's death hits the papers and eventually Mei Ling learns of his death. Sadly for Mei Ling, even though she no longer is with Jonah Hex, the town busybodies still impose their bigoted views upon her and Jason.

Back at the prison, Kozrak is holding a newspaper in front of Jonah's face (see, he ain't dead kids. It was just a literary device!),gloating that since Hex is 'dead', the prison can do whatever it wants to Hex. With everything left in him, Jonah lashes out at Kozrak,punching him in the face, kneeing him in the jaw and finally slamming his head into the stone wall. Grabbing Kozrak's whip, Jonah staggers out of the cell to the storeroom, where he finds his belongings.

Refitting himself with his clothes and weapons, Jonah starts to make his escape. He knocks out a guard and then heads for the wall. Using the whip, he manages to climb the wall and knock out the guards manning the Gatling gun in the guard tower. He opens fire on several guards and then jumps over the wall to his freedom.

Several days later at the house of Gov. Phelps, Quentin Turnbull is having an absolute fit. Phelps tells Turnbull that not only has Jonah Hex escaped prison but that he has access to a letter that Phelps wrote certifying Jonah's innocence. Turnbull shouts at Phelps regarding the letter, threatening Phelps with his cane. Phelps steps back in self-defense, stumbles on the rug and pitches over into the marble mantle, cracking his skull open like a ripe watermelon!

Phelps lies dead at Turnbull's feet and Turnbull, coldhearted bastard that he is, turns and leaves the mansion, never bothering to notify anyone of the Governor's death. Turnbull is lost in thought on how to locate that letter, he gets into his buggy and drives off.

Meanwhile, Jonah Hex is on the roof, watching Turnbull drive away. Hex's plan is to confront the Gov. and... suddenly there is shouting from inside the mansion as Phelp's body is discovered. People rush out of the mansion and see Jonah on the roof. They assume that Hex has killed the Gov and Jonah has to fight his way through them to make his escape.

Later that night, Emmy Lou is getting undressed, knowing deep inside that Jonah Hex is alive. There is a knock on the door. It's the hotel manager with a message. When Emmy opens the door she is confronted by two goons and Quentin Turnbull (okay, make that three goons, or two goons and a heartless bastard) who is demanding the letter (of which Emmy knows nothing of) that Jonah had entrusted to her!

Statistics for this Issue
Men killed by Jonah - I will have to go with one. While Jonah is shooting the prison guards, one of them gives forth the dying "Koff Koff"
Running Total - 398
Jonah's Injuries - Jonah gets the crap beaten out of him once again by Kozrak
Timeline - Let's see, Jonah started this adventure 6 weeks ago and then 2 weeks passed before he was declared dead, then add in a "and soon" and a "several days later". Let's say the "and soon" equals three days (news traveled slower in those days) and "several days later" will be five days.

I have revisited the Cassie/Wedding/Emmy Lou issues and decided that the Cassie storyline CAN fit into the post marriage timeline. There were a few times during the Cassie saga that the phrase "15 years" also had the words "almost" 7 "about" tacked on, thus making it approximately 15 years after 1859, so placing it into 1877 can actually work (close your eyes and work with me here). Anyway, one thing follows another and since I placed last issue at Feb 1878, this one (68 days later will take place in April 1878.

I liked this issue even though there were some common sense problems. Turnbull had some of the best characterization here that I have ever seen. He's cold, cruel, spineless, evil, and very very easily despised. the common sense problems I had were Jonah being near death and still being able to climb the whip and jump over the wall (unless he was playing possum), and I can't figure out why Jonah even needed to visit the Gov other than to be accused of his murder.

But still, this issue is nothing but non-stop action and it gets even more crazy as we go along.

I also enjoyed the forced perspective on the title and the entire angle of the cover. It just screams ROSS ANDRU!!! and I love it! (I like the ziptone moon as well.)

Next Issue: The lover's reunite, an Indian massacre, Wilbur & Homer are introduced, and the unexpected return of a law-man.

Crisis on Infinite Earths #3

Crisis on Infinite Earths #3 June 1985
"Oblivion Upon Us"
Marv Wolfman, story - George Perez & Dick Giordano, art & cover

Since DC is pretty much on non-stop-event mode, I thought we would take a look back to the really big one that started it all, Crisis on Infinite Earths.

Placing this in context with Jonah Hex, this was around the end of the normal Jonah Hex run and some weird things were happening in his book with some hints being dropped that Jonah would be changed entirely. My first thought was that the events in Crisis would be the catalyst for the changes in Jonah's book, but that never panned out.

Jonah's part in the Crisis was very small, part of a montage that was used to show that the Crisis was spanning all of time and space.

The year in 1879 and Bat Lash gets tossed out of a saloon in Coyote, Texas....


..and that is pretty much that. I did enjoy the reference to JLA #198 - #199 which took place in 1878. Nice that they kept a small part of continuity there.

Once again from the cover, a close up of Jonah and his buds.

Jonah Hex #75 "The Bloody Saga of Railroad Bill! Part 2"

Jonah Hex #75 Aug 1983
"The Bloody Saga of Railroad Bill! Part 2"
Michael Fleisher, story - Dick Ayers & Tony DeZuniga, art - Ross Andru & Dick Giordano, cover

A quick two page recap of last issue and we find Terry sneaking back into the cabin, but Bill Clinton is standing there as he enters. Terry insists that he has just been out for a stroll but Clinton isn't buying any of it and shoots Terry dead. That awakens the rest of the gang and Clinton's Ma & sister. Before everyone can get calmed down and back into bed, Graphus and one of his men sneak up to the window.

Graphus orders his man to toss a bomb through the window but the man hesitates when he spies the women. Graphus orders him to throw it anyway and the bomb lands in the room with a thud. Clinton dives for cover but his ma & sister take the brunt of the blast. Clinton starts screaming his vengeance so Graphus can hear.

The four remaining men of Clinton's gang and Jonah Hex finally convince Clinton that they need to flee the burning cabin. They bust out the back door, heading for the corral when Hex sees a Pinkerton drawing a bead on Clinton. He kills the Pinkerton, saving Clinton's life and they all grab the horses from the corral (magically saddling them) and they ride off with Graphus unable to give chase due to their horses being worn out.

Later on the trail Clinton thanks Hex for the save and explains that when he rode with Quantrill he spent some time in prison and he vowed that he would never go back. They part ways with Clinton explaining that if he ever sees Jonah Hex again, he will kill him.

Three weeks later, Clinton and his men have blocked the rails and are robbing a train when they open up the mail car they are greeted by Jonah Hex! Clinton is atop the car and fires at Jonah, missing, and allowing Jonah to slam the doors shut and lock them. In the meantime the crew have cleared the tracks and started the train rolling again.

Clinton jumps from the train and they give chase but can't catch up to it. One of the gang accuse Clinton of missing Hex on purpose and gets a pistol to the face for his troubles. He tells his gang to head to one of their hideouts while he goes and kills Jonah Hex.

Four nights later, Jonah is sipping coffee by a campfire, contemplating his next step since he has been unable to track down any sign of Clinton or his men. Unknown to Jonah, Clinton, in the rocks above him, has his rifle sights on Hex. Just before Clinton can fire, Graphus steps out of the shadows. Graphus says that he has captured all of Clinton's men but none of them will talk. Now Jonah Hex is going to tell Graphus how to find Clinton.

Clinton is now in a quandary. He can't shoot both Graphus & Hex before they return fire so he has to make a choice. Graphus or Hex? Clinton's bullet slams into Graphus and Jonah dives for cover. Jonah can't return fire so he starts making his way around to the back of the hill. Above, Clinton continues to fire, trying to nail Hex, but he soon runs out of shells and decides to hightail it before Jonah can track him. Just as Clinton is coming down from the rocks, he turns to find Jonah Hex holding a pistol on him.

Jonah tells him to drop the pistol and Hex will take him in. Clinton once again swears that he won't go to prison and starts to raise the empty rifle. Jonah warns him again but Clinton starts to draw a bead on Hex so Jonah shoots Clinton twice, killing him. As Jonah examines the rifle he finds that it was empty.

Statistics for this Issue
Men killed by Jonah - 2
Running Total - 394
Jonah's Injuries - None
Timeline - This had two time spans, three weeks & 4 nights (25 days). Add that to last issue's 8 days and the Saga of Railroad Bill covers 33 days. No sign of continuity from issue 72, but we'll get back to that soon enough.

A fairly good issue with Jonah not doing a whole lot, again the majority of the story was Bill Clinton, but the conflict at the end was handled well. The best thing about the whole book was the cover, one of the best in the whole entire run of WWT & Jonah Hex. I love the tilted title, Jonah's coat on fire, the angle and perspective are just perfect. It has to be one of the top 10 covers of the series.

Next Issue: Emmy Lou, Mei Ling, Quentin Turnbull, and the secret of prisoner 26150

Jonah Hex #74 "The Bloody Saga of Railroad Bill!"

Jonah Hex #74 July 1983
"The Bloody Saga of Railroad Bill!"
Michael Fleisher, story - Dick Ayers & Tony DeZuniga, art - Ross Andru & Dick Giordano, cover

Jonah Hex stands in front of the desk of Mr. Thorgson, the owner of a railroad. Thorgson is railing (hee hee) against William Clinton, a train robber, who has been unstoppable. Clinton rode with Quantrill and has learned how to get the locals on his side, helping him cover his tracks. Hex asks why the Pinkertons haven't been involved and Thorgson says that the railroad has hired Pinkerton Archibald Graphus, but he keeps coming up empty handed. Now Thorgson is hiring Hex using his own money in order not to antagonize Graphus.

A week later in the town of Franklin Forks, we find Graphus and eight of his men crouching on a rooftop on main street. They are staking out the bank on a tip that Clinton will be knocking over that bank today (Looks like Clinton robs more than just trains). Sure enough, Clinton and twelve of his men come riding into town. He leaves two men outside to hold the horses and the rest head into the bank. Once in the bank, Clinton notices an old man who is wearing Confederate medals. He asks the man if the medals are his and the old man affirms that he got them at Chickamauga and Vicksburg and says that Clinton is now taking all the money he has in the world.

Clinton tells him that he has never stolen from a fellow Reb and never will. Clinton pulls out a fat wad of bills and gives them to the Rebel Vet. A few minutes later Clinton and his men are leaving the bank and Graphus is getting ready to give the signal to open fire (they waited until the bank had been robbed so that the crooks would have their hands full and be unable to fire back) when the local choir practice adjourns and a bunch of women walk out into the street. Ignoring the danger to innocent civilians, Graphus orders his men to open fire and when the dust settles eight of Clinton's men are dead along with several choir members.


The bodies aren't even cooling in the street before Graphus and his men head out after Clinton & his gang. Clinton and his men split up, but Graphus is looking down from a hilltop and pulls out his Remington with the fancy new sight, takes aim and drops Bill Clinton's horse is mid stride. Clinton's men are long gone already and Graphus & his bunch soon have Clinton sitting atop a horse with a noose around his neck.

Just then, Jonah Hex rides up. Jonah starts telling Graphus that they can't hang Clinton without a trial and during the argument, Clinton manages to get to a knife in the back of his pants and cuts himself loose. He then buries the knife into the sternum of one of Graphus's men. Tossing aside the noose, Clinton spurs the horse onward and rides off.

Jonah takes off after but Graphus isn't fooled, he sees that these two are working together and he shoots Hex in the back. Clinton hears the shot and turns to see Hex laying in the dirt. Bill Clinton wheels his horse around and clutching the reins in his teeth and firing his rifle like a man possessed, he charges Graphus and his men, allowing Jonah to climb on the back of the horse and they both make their escape.



Shortly, Clinton & Hex arrive at a farmer's house. The farmer agrees to help Clinton and Hex because of how much he hates the railroads. Soon after, the two men are leaving in a borrowed buckboard. Clinton tells Jonah that he recognizes Hex and he is going to take Hex to Ma Clinton's place to get patched up. If they run into each other after that, Clinton will have to kill Hex.

As they travel along they are stopped by two Pinkertons searching for them. One of the Pinkerton's notices Jonah's boots and Clinton shoots both men using a two shot pistol hidden up his sleeve. Hours later they finally arrive at Ma Clinton's place.

While Clinton's mom & sister tend to Hex's wounds, Clinton talks to his men about how Graphus was waiting for them at Franklin Forks. Terry, one of the men, says that the town was clean when it cased it the previous night. Eventually everyone beds down for the night.

Much later, Terry sneaks out of a window and rides off to a rendezvous with Graphus. Obviously Terry is an informant for Graphus and tells him where everyone is holed up and that Jonah Hex is there as well. Graphus tells Terry to head back to the hideout and he'll get his men and be there before dawn. CONTINUED......

Statistics for this Issue
Men Killed by Jonah - 0
Running Total - 392
Jonah's Injuries - Shot in the back
Timeline - This one covers about 8 days. No mention of any other aspect of the ongoing story (Emmy or Mei Ling)

So far, it's a pretty good story. Jonah hasn't done much and is pretty much being tossed about by Graphus & Clinton but it's good to see these other characters get a chance to shine. This is a two-parter and the rest of the issue was an El Diablo story involving fire. eeeek

The cover had an interesting bit of art. The bullet holes show the splash page underneath. Too bad that there weren't actual holes in the cover, but that was reserved for the higher end books with the pure white paper. This is a throwback to the lettering last seen on Issue 70. I like a more dynamic/edgy cover like this, but I prefer the more 'playbill' style lettering.

Next Issue: Terry gets his, Graphus gets sloppy, Clinton has to make a decision, and Jonah realizes that life stinks.

Jonah Hex #73 "The Wheelchair Bounty Hunter!"

Jonah Hex #73 June 1982
"The Wheelchair Bounty Hunter!"
Michael Fleisher, story - Jose Luis Garcia Lopez, art - Ross Andru & Dick Giordano, cover


Good things about this book:
Jose Luis Garcia Lopez did the art

Bad things about this book:
This is an obvious filler issue from 1977-78 when Lopez was doing the art. But let's let the story stand on it's own two feet, shall we? hee hee, I made a funny.

Jonah Hex and Archie Nathanson are hiding in the brush under cover of darkness, scouting a nearby campfire. Nathanson has turned traitor on his boss, Jody Mantlo, in exchange for half of the bounty for bringing in the whole gang. Jonah emerges from the bushes, telling the sentry to drop his rifle and for everyone to ease slowly outta their bedrolls, but Jonah is surprised to find that the sentry is a straw dummy.

Just then Jody Mantlo and six of his men walk into the light of the campfire. they congratulate Archie on leading Jonah into their trap. Mantlo pulls a cigar from his mouth saying...

and then his henchmen push the plunger on the dynamite that is in the center of the camp. Jonah and Archie are blown to hell and Mantlo tells the gang to break up and lay low for a couple of weeks until he contacts them about their next job.

Hours pass and the sun comes up. A young Mexican lad with a wagon passes by the carnage and investigates. He determines that Nathanson is dead but Jonah is barely alive. He gets Jonah into the wagon and heads to town to get the doc. At the doctor's office, the boy rouses the doc and they both get Jonah inside. But not before the scene is witnessed by Burke, one of Mantlo's men.

Hours later, Jonah awakens and the doc explains how he came to be in the infirmary. Jonah tosses back he covers and jumps to his feet only to find that both of his legs are broken and are in casts from his ankles to his knees. The doc tells him that he has to stay off his feet for 5-6 weeks, but Jonah is concerned about the Mantlo gang busting in and killing everyone there. The doc assures Jonah that there was nobody on the street in the early hour when Manuel brought him in.

Late that night, Burke knocks on the door to the doc's office. Burke tells the doc that there is a hurt man down the street and then clubs the doc unconscious. Burke slowly makes his way to the infirmary, sneaks in and then unloads both barrels of his shotgun into Jonah's bed. Sadly for Burke, Jonah is sitting in a wheelchair across the room and places one bullet right between Burke's eyes. Jonah retrieves Burke's shotgun, determines that the doc will be okay and then wheels out into the night to locate Manuel.

Shortly thereafter, Manuel is driving his buckboard back to the sight of the explosion, Jonah in a wheelchair in the back. At the campsite, Manuel wheels Jonah down a homemade ramp and using a lantern Jonah determines the different directions that the Mantlo gang has gone.

Two days later, Wes is playing a good game of poker when a buddy informs him that there is a cripple in a wheelchair that wants to see him. Wes can't be bothered until he hears the voice of Jonah Hex. Wes grabs for his pistol, but Jonah unleashes the shotgun and drops Wes in his tracks. (One should note that Jonah had the brakes set on his wheelchair or else he would have rocketed across the saloon from the recoil).

The next night, Jonah, in his chair, is hiding in the shadowy hallway as Luke emerges from a saloon girl's room. Jonah greets him and Luke states that he has no guns. Jonah says that they're even, Jonah ain't got no legs. Luke takes off running, but Jonah throws a lasso around Luke's neck and strangles him in the hallway.

Unknown to Jonah, Pete, another gang member, is peeking out of his room and sees what happens. He sneaks out and goes to warn Mantlo.

Late the following afternoon, Manuel and Jonah are high atop a hill overlooking a cabin that they think is the hideout of the Mantlo gang. Suddenly they are surprised by Mantlo and the three remaining gang members. As Pete moves forward to push Jonah off the cliff, Manuel tries to protect Jonah. Mantlo guns Manuel down instantly. Pete shoves Jonah and the wheelchair over the cliff and they turn away.

What they don't see is that Jonah manages to stay upright in the chair until he can toss a lasso onto a tree limb and swing out of the chair right before it plummets into the river. Jonah then slowly lowers himself down the rope and crawls through the river until he finds his wheelchair, unbroken on the rocks below.

Jonah sets his sights on a nearby hill so he can get an idea of where the cabin is located. A half hour later he is at the top of the hill overlooking the Mantlo hideout. With a quick shove, Jonah starts his wheel chair rocketing down the hillside, aiming straight for the cabin.

Down in the cabin Mantlo and the guys are relishing the death of Jonah Hex when they hear..

and then...

Jonah unloads both pistols into the four men. Laying in the overturned wheelchair, Jonah is surprised when Manuel shows up at the door. Mantlo's bullet only grazed his scalp. He helps Jonah back into the wheelchair and up into the wagon and they head back to town.

Statistics for this Issue
Men Killed by Jonah - 7
Running Total - 392
Jonah's Injuries - Two broken legs
Timeline - This story covered 4 days. Since Jonah makes a reference to the Spirit of '76, this one happens after 1876 but there is no mention of the marriage. Not that THAT means anything.

Wow, how do I begin to rail against this story? From the indestructible wheelchair to Manuel's titanium noggin to the broken legs of Jonah Hex smashing in a wooden cabin door along with a pop culture reference to Johnny Carson, this story just reeked. The only thing that makes it a joy to look at is Lopez's artwork and distinctive style for each gang member. When I open this book, I look at it without reading it, kinda like watching a movie with the sound off.

The rest of the issue had an El Diablo backup. yaaawwwwn.

Next Issue - We're back into regular continuity and Jonah Hex attempts to bring Bill Clinton to justice. No, I'm not lying!!!

Jonah Hex #72 "Tarantula!"

Jonah Hex #72 May 1982
"Tarantula!"
Michael Fleisher, story - Dick Ayers & Tony DeZuniga, art - Ross Andru & Dick Giordano, cover

Jonah, disguised as El Papagayo, in order to save Emmie Lou Hartley, who has been kidnapped by the aforementioned Mexican bandit, has broken into the palace of the President of Mexico in order to steal the necklace of Queen Isabella and having gotten his hands on the necklace attempts to escape but is suddenly stopped by the palace guards. (whew!)

Jonah shouts out but then...

Ouchie!

The following afternoon the dead body of Jonah Hex/El Papagayo is laid out for viewing as an example of all those who would oppose the mighty Mexican government. The captain of the guards makes mention of the horrible scars that El Papagayo has, but chalks that up to the dangerous life of a bandit band leader.

Two men viewing the body are visibly shaken and leave rather quickly. Turns out they work for El Papagayo and rush back to tell the bandit leader what has happened. Emmy overhears and is heartbroken that Jonah is dead, but Papagayo sees it as a golden opportunity. With the Mexican government thinking that he is dead, there will be very few guards escorting the necklace back to Spain. Papagayo will swoop down like the beautiful Mexican parrot and steal the necklace!

Several nights later, the two thugs we met earlier are in the graveyard digging up the body of Jonah Hex in order to cash in on the matching Dragoons that Jonah was buried with. They finally remove the casket and break open the lid to find...



Jonah Hex has turned into a pile of STONES!!!!!

Nope, he has turned into a vengeful monkey and swinging from a tree kicks the holy living crap outta both of them. But he's not done! Jonah's fists, seeing what fun his feet had, want in on the action as well.

Jonah subdues the two thugs and then Col. Sanchez appears out of the darkness to take the men captive. The Col & Jonah are congratulating themselves on their wonderful plan to make Papagayo think that the necklace will be unguarded tomorrow and when he attempts to steal it, they shall capture Papagayo (remember the telegram that Jonah sent last issue? Good!). However, the keeper of the graveyard overhears everything and goes rushing off into town.

In town he tells an man named Emilio everything he heard in order for Emilio to ride to Papagayo and warn the bandit leader.

The next day, Hex & Sanchez are leading the troops guarding the necklace as it makes its way to the ship that will take it back to Spain. Sanchez has several hundred men riding just 10 minutes behind. Once they spot Papagayo, Sanchez will fire his pistol twice as a signal for the men to come rushing in. Just then, Sanchez's hat gets shot off his head.

Papagayo and his men are on a hill overlooking the small wagon carrying the necklace. He shouts down that he knows all about the plan and if any signals are attempted, Sanchez will be dead. Papagayo shouts that he has his own bag of tricks and has his men produce that bag. He cuts the bag open and out tumbles Emmy Lou, bound hand and foot. Now, Papagayo makes his demands. Hex must bring the necklace to Papagayo or Emmy gets a bullet in the head.

Jonah quickly clubs Sanchez unconscious and draws on the wagon guards. He takes the strongbox, unlocks it and grabs the necklace. Papagayo and his men ride off with Emmy, leaving Jonah with the necklace to follow.

An hour later, the bandit reigns in his horse at a covered pit. Jonah is clubbed unconscious and tied up then he and Emmy are lowered into the pit. Just as Jonah comes to, Papagayo orders a huge basket of tarantulas dumped into the pit then he and his men ride off.

Back in the spider filled pit, Jonah tells Emmy to cut her ropes on his spurs. She keeps working until she is free, unties herself and Jonah and then promptly feints. Jonah tosses her over his shoulder and climbs out of the pit.

Later that night, Papagayo and his men are talking about having left Jonah & Emmy to starve. Papagayo mentions that he will be missing the battle of wits with Hex. Just then a lookout returns to the campfire but it is really JONAH HEX!!!!. Jonah pistol whips Papagayo and turns him in to Col Sanchez.

The next afternoon, Col Sanchez thanks Jonah for returning the necklace and Emmy gets a new bonnet. Then, in an unexpected turn of events...

El Papagayo breaks the fourth wall!!!

Statistics for this issue
Men Killed by Jonah - 0
Running Total - 385
Jonah's Injuries - Knocked unconscious.
Timeline - This one covers two days + "several days". Let's call it a week. By the end of this one we are probably into Dec 1877

I did like this one. Jonah's death, complete with a Wilhelm Scream, was an agonizing ballet of death dancing, the likes I had never seen before. El Papagayo was a wonderful villain but when is he going to learn to shoot Jonah and be done with it? I didn't care for Emmy fainting, it seemed like Fleisher didn't want to write dialogue for her, so he just had her pass out. The ending was very abrupt and then that weird last panel. Oooooooo, Papagayo is talking directly to MEEEEE. (At least, he didn't get his finger blown off whilst pointing at me.)

And how can you NOT love a book that has this???



Next Issue: The most Gawd-awful Jonah Hex story ever penned. And that includes all of the Justice League crossovers.