Jonah Hex V2 #42 "Shooting the Sun"

 Jonah Hex V2 #42 May '09

"Shooting the Sun"

Justin Gray and Jimmy Palmiotti - story, Jordi Bernet - art and cover

Colorado, We see three men standing in the street, sun to their backs. Hex is facing them, a chain on his wrist, and an old drunk looks onward from a nearby porch. The viewpoint whips around and we realize that Jonah Hex is chains to two large iron balls, each dragging his hands to his sides, unable to reach his pistols.

We flash back a few decades to Woodson Hex learning young Jonah how to be fast with a gun. (I just had a flashback myself to when my dad would ask if I wanted to be taught or learned. I asked what the difference was. He explained that being taught was a lot less painful.) The method Woodson is using is to have Jonah reach for a pistol on the table and Woodson tries to smash Jonah's hand with a wooden rod before he grabs the gun. Ginny starts to reprimand Woodson and he tells her to be quiet and she leaves. Then Woodson has Jonah try again with the other hand.

Later that night, Woodson is sitting on the porch with a bottle speaking to Jonah who is out in the yard. He tells of his own father being a real bastard, and the day Grandpa Hex died, Woodson went into town and tied one on. That was the day he met Virginia. We see that Jonah is standing in the dark, a large rock tied to each wrist and he is having to stand with his arms straight out from his sides. Virginia stares out the window and when Woodson falls alseep, she goes out in the dark, unties the rocks and holds Jonah close, her tears falling in his hair.

Cut back to present day. Hex stares at the three gunmen and the old man sits on the porch, lighting up a smoke. Flashback to the past and the next morning. Woodson awakes and asks Jonah how he is doing. Jonah is still holding the rocks aloft and Woodson goes out to him. He then notices the tracks in the dirt and realizes what Virginia had done. He goes into the house and commences to beat her. 

An unknown time later, Jonah and Woodson are riding into town. Woodson says that Virginia needs to learn her place and that he never wanted children. Now that he is saddled with Jonah, he is gonna be sure Jonah ain't no daisy. As the wagon rolls into town, a man is being assaulted in an alley and Woodson points out that the man is a daisy. Jonah says that the men are killing him. Woodson responds "So whut?"

They pull up in front of a saloon, Woodson tells Jonah to mind the wagon and then goes inside. Four local toughs show up and start hassling Jonah. He talks back and they pull him off the wagon, dragging him into an alley as a storm starts. They beat him with a large stick (possible an axe handle) and knock him out. Woodson shows up with a case of whiskey as Jonah comes to. Once again he tells Jonah to mind the wagon and he goes off to find the toughs.

He finds the four youths in a different alley and when they lip off, he smashes one in the teeth with the butt of a pistol and then proceeds to beat the ever-lovin' livin' hell out of all four of them. Leaving them lying in the mud he says "Never look for trouble with a Hex." Woodson returns to the wagon, coming up to a smiling Jonah and states "Now ya'll learn ta mind ME once we git on home."

Back at the farm, Jonah is forced to plow the field in the rain as his father lectures him about being weak, how he'll become string, and when Woodson thinks Jonah is ready, they'll go back to town and Jonah will sort those boys out, because a man should never have his father fight his battles.

Later that night, Virginia is asleep in bed and Woodson asleep at the dining table. Jonah is outside in the outhouse, urinating in his dad's whiskey bottle. He sneaks the bottle back to the table as Woodson asks what he is doing. Jonah says he was thirsty and got some water. Woodson says that whiskey will help him sleep better but Jonah turns him down. Woodson takes a long pull on the bottle, glares at Jonah, wiping his mouth. Jonah stares back and Woodson tells him to get to bed. Jonah obeys, with a happy smirk on his face.

Present day and the three men say they are gonna get on with it, to which Jonah starts laughing. They want to know what is so funny and Jonah points out that years ago, his father beat them senseless in that alley over there. They acknowledge that fact and that is exactly why they are doing this. They put out word about a fake bounty to lure Hex here so they could kill him and since his pa ain't there to save him....

The three men draw and fire and Jonah falls to his knees, the irons balls crashing into the dirt. The shots go over his head and with the chains slack, he draws and shoots all three men. 

He shoots the chain off his left hand and then gets up, holstering his pistols. He walks over to the men, bleeding in the street and as the ringleader raises his pistol, Jonah starts swinging the remaining ball and chain. "Never look fer trouble with a Hex." he says and then crushes the man's skull over and over again.

Jonah walks out of town, into the sun, ball and chain dripping blood into the sand. The old man on porch muses to himself "That boy is a mean son of a bitch."

Statistics for This Issue
Men Killed by Jonah - Three
Running Total - 753 (432 past, 55 future, 15 Vertigo, 251 V2)
Jonah's Injuries - As a kid, beat up by some kids and a lot of hand whacking by his dad
Timeline - Present day, probably just a few minutes, in the past, probably several days.
Rape Percentage -  24% (10 of 42)

This was a real good one. I always enjoy getting to see more of what drove Jonah to be what he is and so much of it was his abusive father. Not that I like seeing the abuse, but I appreciate the creation of the motivations of Jonah. 

Now I had to do a little bit of research on this one, just because Palmiotti and Gray write the way they do. First off, "Shoot the Sun.", I never heard this phrase before and it means to try something impossible because, well, it is impossible to actually shoot the sun. So what was the impossible task here? Was it trying to outdraw three men while your arms are shackles to a ball and chain? Was it surviving the abusive father?

Next up, one of the kids asks Jonah, "What's yer name, puke?" to which Jonah replies "Ah ain't no Missourian. Name's Jonah Hex." Which is a weird reply because Jonah IS from Missouri. I dug around as much as I could and could find no correlation as 'puke' being a specific slur for Missourians.

Then, during a conversation one of the thugs asks if anyone has a 'lundstrom' to which another asks 'A what?' EXACTLY!!! Is it a candy? A cigarette? Only thing I could find was a bookcase manufacturer. Guess I'll need to ask Justin and Jimmy to explain these last two.

On to the Hex family... the compassion that Virginia shows for her son is horribly gut wrenching. She tries to stand up to Woodson and when she can't she circumnavigates him, helping Jonah the only way she can. Her tears flow over him in the dark but none of that can wash away their pain.

And Woodson...what can be said of such and evil man who would beat his son and wife ruthlessly? And to top it off, I'm sure that Woodson knew that Jonah pee'd in the whiskey and either appreciated the subterfuge enough OR was so addicted to the bottle, that he drank it anyway. I also wonder what kind of man was Grandpappy Hex that would end up siring a reprobate such as Woodson. I'm sure there are some stories to be had there of the OG Hex around the time of Revolution. One more thing, on rereading this story, it dawned on me that the old man on the porch is actually Woodson himself, just sitting there, watching three men try to murder his son. True to his word, he doesn't intervene, watching the handiwork of his years of abuse play out.

Bernet, as always, has some top-notch work with this story. I would put this one on the Must Buy list. Also, this issue has a sneak peek of the Power Girl book, written by Palmiotti and Gray.

Next Issue: Jonah has a method of acquiring real estate in tough times

Jonah Hex V2 #25 "My Name is Nobody"

Jonah Hex V2 #25 Jan. '08

"My Name is Nobody"
Jimmy Palmiotti and Justin Gray - story, Russ Heath - art, Garres - cover

Mexico, 1899

We are treated to excerpts from An Oral History on the Old West, co-written by Woodson Hex, private detective in the 1930's and 40's. During the recap of Jonah's life we see the aged bounty hunter setting up camp overlooking a desert valley. Off in the distance, dust clouds rise, driven skyward by several men on horses being chased by other mounted riders. Jonah figures it's bandits running from the local law so he takes cover so that he has a chance against the fifteen desperadoes. 

  As the bandits get closer, Jonah picks off one and the rest scatter. The bandits regroup, trying to decide how best to flank the unknown gunman up the rocks. Meanwhile, Jonah bides his time, hoping he can hold them off long enough for the rurales to show up. Jonah unloads his pack mule and lets it wander off into the mountains. He pulls out a photo of Mei Ling and a young boy, about the age of ten. 

  Jonah takes up a vantage point with his rifle. Soon enough, one fo the bandits tries to make a move and Jonah kills him. Drawing a bead with his rifle, he spots the backside of another bandit and Jonah manages to shoot the pistol in the man's holder. The bandit jumps from cover and.... thirteen left.

  The bandit leader shouts to Jonah to stop shooting his men. Jonah replies that it might be safer for them to turn themselves in. The Bandit asks Jonah's name to which Jonah replies with rifle fire. Five bandits suddenly rush Jonah and ..... nine left. That's when Jonah notices that they shot and killed his horse.

  The bandit leader tells Hex that they need his location to ambush the rurales. He asks Jonah's name again, announcing that HE is Jesus Escobar Ramirez. Jonah replies that he is Jonah Hex. The bandit's stare at each other and then decide Hex is lying. Everyone knows that Jonah Hex is dead. 

  They rush him once more, managing to hit him in the left shoulder but Jonah takes down three more of them....six left. Another quick attack and Jonah takes out two more, the rest coming at him with knives. Jonah smashes one in the head with a pistol and starts punching the crap out of him to boot. The others come up, about to shoot Jonah in the back of the head when a hail of bullets cut them down. Jonah kicks his combatant over the edge of a cliff.

  The rurales have arrived in time. A man leading them doesn't appear to be Mexican. The man says that Hex looks familiar, maybe they know each other? Jonah says that the man doesn't know him.

  Later that evening in a cantina the man offers to buy Hex a drink, asking his name. Jonah replies with  "Mister Albano".  Jonah says that he would like to drink alone. The man introduces himself as Jason Hex. He's a tracker, helping the locals. Jason says that the Mexicans ain't against folks of mixed blood as much as the folks up north. He is half Celestial on his mother's side and his father was a bounty hunter... and that's when Jonah attacks him. 

  They get into a knock-down drag out fight which ends with Hex on the floor and Jason holding a iron on him. Jason says he has no intention of killing Jonah, he only wants to talk. Jonah says they have nothing to talk about. Jason asks if Jonah wants to know about Mei Ling. Hex states he ain't the one that left and folks have a right to do as they like. Jason states that Mei Ling is dead and that not everyone dies from a bullet. Jason still wants to talk but Jonah has none of it.

  He says that what you see is what you get and that's the reason Mei Ling took Jason away. She didn't want Jason to know him and that's that. Jonah exits the cantina and meets a Mexican woman in the street, holding a baby. She tells Jonah, who is still drinking from a bottle, that the stuff will kill him. Jonah replies that he hopes it does.

  Jonah mounts up as the woman approaches Jason as he, too, exits the cantina. She asks who that ugly old man was. Jason takes the child from her arms and answers "That was nobody".

Statistics for This Issue

Men Killed by Jonah - Eleven. The Banditos didn't fare well against Elder Hex.
Running Total - 664 (432 past, 55 future, 15 Vertigo, 172 V2)
Jonah's Injuries -Shot in the left shoulder.
Timeline - At most, one day and a night.

Rape Percentage -  32% (8 out of 25).

One the greater Hex tales because of so many things. Russ Heath is back and illustrating another tale of 'old' Hex, we meet Jason as an adult trying to reconcile a meeting with his absent father, Jason's quick appearance of Jason's wife and his son, a quick nod to Mr. Albano, the black borders, and a slight reference to Johnny Cash (Boy Named Sue lyric "and ya got the right" vs. Jonah's "Ya earned the right.").

We see so many people encounter Hex and die a quick death, friends that pass through and are forgotten. Any time we are treated to something that builds upon the Hex family tree or revisits a known character, I feel that we are getting a deeper glimpse into the agony, tragedy, and the tortured mind of our favorite bounty hunter. 

Next Issue: A heavy Tarantino influence and ya never wanna watch the sausage getting made.

Jonah Hex #14 V2 "Retribution, Part 2 of 3"

Jonah Hex #14 V2 Feb '07
"Retribution, Part 2 of 3"
Justin Gray and Jimmy Palmiotti, story - Jordi Bernet, art and cover 

Fathers and Sons -  Jonah Hex walks into a bar and sits down with his back to the wall, facing the only door. The local deputy asks the sheriff "Was that?" and the sheriff replies that the deputy better tell the Reverend to dust off his Bible. Shortly a young boy enters the bar and walks up to a lone man leaning on the bar, drinking. The boy entreats his father to come home for supper. The man turns on the boy, but the boy persists and finally the man slaps his son to the floor as we get a very close look at Jonah Hex watching the entire drama.

Greeley, Colorado, 1851 - Jonah, as a young boy is watching his father, Woodson, load up the covered wagon. Jonah is wanting to know why they have to leave and Woodson crawls out of the wagon and kicks Jonah into the dirt. He yanks the boy up by the hair and tells him to never question him again. He continues to verbally abuse Jonah until Jonah spits in his old man's face.

Woodson knocks him to the ground an Jonah lunges for Woodson's pistol. The father breaks a bottle over Jonah's skull and then drags him to the outhouse, lifts the seat and throws his son down into the gut wrenching filth. Throughout the night Jonah tries to crawl out, falling back time after time. When he finally emerges from the outhouse, he is greeted by darkness and his father sitting there with a pistol trained on him. Woodson hands Jonah the pistol and the chance to rid himself of the abusive father forever, but Jonah only stares at him silently. Woodson gives forth some words to live by and then tells Jonah to clean up, they leave for California in the morning.

Black Hills Apache Territory, Arizona, 1851 - Jonah and Woodson pull up to a pueblo in the wagon. He begs the Apache for safe passage through their land and is told that the toll must be paid in either gold or blood. Woodson says that he aims to make his fortune in California and return to Colorado to reclaim his lost farm. Woodson glances at Jonah, the son he has never wanted and has always hated and then kicks Jonah from the wagon, stating that the Apache can have him and do with him as they see fit. Woodson will return in six months and buy Jonah back three-fold.

A medicine man stares at Jonah, whispers some incantation and the Apache tell Woodson that they have a deal.

The Black Hills, Two Years Later - Jonah is out chopping wood when he hears a scream. He finds the chief being mauled by a puma, which Jonah quickly dispatches with the axe. Jonah then helps the chief back to camp and help. Because he saved the life of the chief, Jonah is elevated from slave to son of the chief and is looked upon lovingly by White Fawn. As they walk in the moonlight, they are approached by Noh-Tante, the chief's real son. Noh-Tante has no good feelings towards Jonah and tells him that the chief wants the two of them to raid a traveling Kiowa camp of their ponies.

They both head off into the darkness and Jonah makes short work of the lone sentry. Noh-Tante grabs the ponies and then trows a knife into Jonah's left leg and then sounds an alarm. Several Kiowa come rushing out and Jonah single-handedly kills the entire tribe.

Present Day - The man in the bar pulls a knife on the boy and the bartender is trying to diffuse the situation. The man pulls his pistol on the bartender and Jonah lifts his own pistol and tells the man to drop the knife. The man turns and growls that it ain't Hex's business. Jonah replies "It is now." and places a single bullet right above the man's eyes. He falls to the floor dead and.....

The boy grabs his father's pistol and aims at Jonah's back as Hex leaves the bar. The boy pauses and then drops the gun into the pool of his father's blood.

Hex is now on the street and six armed men approach, demanding that Jonah take them to where he has hidden Col. Ackerman's weapons. Things escalate and one man tells Hex that he will kill hex and he is dead serious. Hex replies "Got that partly right". (Yeah, I actually laughed at that line) A huge gunfight results and Jonah shoots five of the six men. The last one is about to shoot Jonah in the back when a bullet suddenly rips through the man's leg. He falls into the street as the boy from the bar walks out with a smoking pistol.

The boy says to Hex "You're welcome." Hex then finishes off the wounded man and walks down the street to his horse.

Statistics for This Issue
Men Killed By Jonah - 6 in the street, 1 in the bar, 10 Kiowa, and a Puma (I'm not counting the puma) for a total of 17
Running Total - 592 (432 past, 55 future, 15 Vertigo, 100 V2)
Jonah's Injuries - Knife in the leg, slapped, punched, bottle to the head, kick to the ribs, thrown into an outhouse.
Timeline - Well, 1868, flashback to 1851 and 1853. The flashback covers a few months and then a day. Current day; about 15-30 minutes.
Rape Percentage - 42% (6 out of 14)

Man o man o man. This one stays very very true to the original origin and does tie back into the Ackerman revenge storyline, but over all the absolute best panels are the two where Jonah kills the drunken father in the bar and considers it a favor to the boy.

In the boy, Hex saw everything that he was and knew what would become of the lad if he didn't intervene. I can only imagine Hex was wishing that someone seventeen years earlier would have done the same and rescued him from the hell that lived/lives.

Again, Justin and Jimmy produce a book that demands to be read out loud, with the framing captions ringing in the ear so very much like actual texts from that era.

Next Issue - Jonah returns to the Apache, in more ways than one.

Hex #18 "Thanksgiving"

Hex #18 Feb 1987
"Thanksgiving"

Michael Fleisher, story - Keith Giffen and Carlos Garzon, art and cover

An undisclosed amount of time after last issue, we find Jonah Hex and Stiletta on their motorcycle, plowing across a snow-covered countryside. Stiletta mentions that Mookie and Vance are cooking up a good Thanksgiving dinner, so she hopes Jonah is hungry. Jonah think it's odd that she can find anything to be thankful for in the sinkhole that the future is.

Just then a shot rings out, knocking Jonah off the bike and throwing Stiletta into a snowbank as the bike crashes. It appears that there are some structures around and Jonah takes cover behind one of them. Stiletta makes her way to Jonah's side, dodging the ongoing gunfire as she does.  She looks at Jonah's injury (we don't because Keith Giffen obviously hadn't drawn his way out of the wet paper bag yet to be able to show us anything understandable) and Jonah states that there is no way he can ride the bike to safety.  He tells Stiletta that she will have to go get help and reluctantly she takes off on foot.

Jonah starts looking for a place to hide and smashes in a basement window and crawls down inside the basement. We then see that there are three gunmen who are looking for Hex. They find blood drops in the snow and follow them to the broken window. They crawl down into the darkness and then they notice the smell...and the fuel hose coming in from the window. As the truth dawns on them, Jonah, who is now outside, tosses his lit cigar into the window, blasting the three gunmen right up to God's front door.

Jonah collapses into the snow, bleeding as heavily as ever and his mind races back into the past. Jonah is ten years old and is forced into a boy fight by his father. We see Jonah getting pummeled all because his father wanted to use the prize money for whiskey.

A loud pounding brings Jonah back into the present and he sees that six more gunmen have shown up, looking for the first three. Jonah makes tracks for another building as the new guys locate the remains of their comrades. They also see the blood spatters being left by Jonah and start searching. Jonah, in his hiding place has another flashback, this time to when he found a small raccoon and kept it as a pet. Back in the present, the thugs split up and one of them checks the shed that Jonah is in. as he pokes around in the dark, Jonah steps out of the shadows and slides a knife through his ribs.

The dying thug makes the smallest of sounds, but his buddies hear just enough to head to the shed to investigate. They bust down the door and find their dead friend. They see a hole in the wall and assume that Jonah has headed out that way and give chase. Jonah, however, is still in the shed and slowly slips into another recollection, this time about Thanksgiving dinner where Jonah and family, unbeknown to one of them, consumed the family pet raccoon. This leads to a fight between Jonah and Woodson, with Papa Hex using the Backhand-Beltstrap Combo that was outlawed in Street Fighter 7.

Jonah comes back to his present troubles, bleeding still, and tries to move from his hiding spot, only to stagger and collapse once again. Shortly thereafter, the gunmen, realizing that they can't find Hex and decide to doubleback. They find him on the floor of the shed and prod his body with their foot. A pistol pops up in Jonah's hand and two gunmen show up early for their appointment with St. Peter of Pearly Gate fame.

A third gunman gets his act together, draws his weapon and Jonah barely whispers "Better hang it up while you're still ahead, right?" The gunman turns to see Stiletta and a small army getting ready to use the remaining gunmen as target practice. The gunmen drop their weapons as Vance, the doctor rushes forward to tend to Jonah. They quickly get Jonah back to Vance's place.

Vance's place is a huge warehouse, location unknown and we next see Jonah is some sort of hoverchair, not as cool as Metron's but a step up from Niles Caulder. He is in a healing body stocking that not only monitors vitals be released meds in appropriate doses. Vance explains that all Jonah has to do is think and the chair will go where he wants to go. It seems that Mookie, Vance's wife, collects amusement park antiques, several of them from the early 20th century. Jonah's chair goes gliding through the collection as Jonah sees 'antiques' that are completely new to him.

Past the bumper cars and merry-go-round horses Jonah finally comes across...

He thinks that someone had made a statue of him after he got old but then he realizes that it isn't a statue, but a stuffed human. He recognizes his own dragoons and sits in silence, staring at his own corpse. Finally, one thought travels through his mind "Ah guess it means ah'll be goin' back home one day... after all."

The issue closes with Stiletta finding Jonah sitting in the dark.

Statistics for this Issue

Men Killed by Jonah - 5
Running Total - 483 (428 past, 55 future)
Jonah's Injuries - Apparently gutshot and almost bled out.
Timeline - There is no way to determine how much time passed between last issue and this, but it appears that this issue takes place in only one day.

And this is how it ends. The incredibly sad horrific life of a scarred man, far from home and unable to return, is brought to some sort of circle where the end turns back onto the middle. It makes me wonder what Jonah's viewpoint was after that. Did he have a concept that every day could be his last, once he returned to his present, and he was more cautious? Did he think that he had nothing to fear in the future and became even more reckless there? And as postulated elsewhere, (By Ms. Hillwig, I believe) what went through Jonah's mind in 1904 when Lew Farnham held up that exact same cowboy suit for Jonah to see, almost like the Death itself grabbing you by the shoulder and spinning you around?

All in all, a so-so issue. Giffen's artwork was actually helped by the addition of white space between the frames, but in some places the weird angles, overuse of ziptone, and using color to provide artistic detail rendered the work on par with Bobo the Incredible Painting Monkey (Ya know, the monkey with a glass eye and a hook for a hand whose other arm got mangled in that automatic banana peeler accident that the zoo tried to cover up. Yeah, THAT monkey). In the flashbacks, Fleisher got some of his own details wrong as if he were working from memory, much like Jonah, but unlike Jonah, I don't think Fleisher was suffering from blood loss. I do have to admit that the last four pages of the book are worth double the price of admission, so I would suggest that you grab a copy if you can. (When was the last time THAT was ever said about a copy of HEX?).

18 issues of the bounty hunter thrown into the future comes to a close. Was it worth it? Or should they have just left Jonah in the past, never to see his own corpse?

The issue is closed out with a letters page, the last letter by T.M. Maple himself.

Next Up: Ten short months later and Secret Origins presents us with the Secret Origin of Jonah Hex.

Jonah Hex #79 "Duel in the Sand!"

Jonah Hex #79 Dec. 1983
"Duel in the Sand!"
Michael Fleisher, story - Dick Ayers & Tony DeZuniga, art - Ross Andru & Dick Giordano, cover

Jonah stops to offer a stranger a drink from his canteen, unaware that he has been set up by Homer & Wilbur so they can collect the bounty on the head of Jonah Hex. Jonah hears the click of the rifle pointed at his back and he starts to dodge but isn't quick enough. He takes a bullet in the side as he dives from his horse. Jonah swiftly draws his pistol and shoots Homer right between the eyes.

Wilbur opens fire and Jonah is barely able to mount his horse and ride off. Wilbur comes out of hiding and runs to his brother. But sadly, his brother has been shot dead center between the eyes, so he is only able to get out two whole sentences before he expires. Wilbur is racked with grief over his brother's death and vows to make Jonah Hex pay for what has happened.

Meanwhile, back at the state pen, Quentin Turnbull is riding roughshod over Warden Davies, berating him for allowing Jonah Hex to escape prison. Davies points out that even if Jonah gets the letter from the late Gov. Phelps, they can still frame Jonah for the murder of Phelps.

Several hours later, Jonah, wounded, is riding across the desert with Wilbur dogging his trail. Sadly for Jonah, Wilbur has a Sharps 74 long rifle (with a range of 500 yards) against Jonah's 30.06. Wilbur lets Jonah sweat it out under the desert sun and at just the right time Wilbur shoots the horse out from under Hex. Jonah gets tossed into the sand and ends up having to finish off his horse. He grabs his canteen and starts walking.

Meanwhile, Emmy Lou is trying to figure out where Jonah has gone since he left a week ago and she just keeps getting madder & madder.

Back in the desert, Wilbur is conserving his canteen of water and gets the bright idea to relieve Jonah of his supply. Wilbur takes careful aim and just as Jonah is getting a drink, he drills a hole right through that canteen. Jonah claws madly at the sand as his water seeps through his fingers. From a rocky outcrop, Wilbur shouts that he is going to watch Jonah die a slow death. Hex grabs his pistol and fires, but the bullets fall far shy of their target.

Elsewhere, J D Hart has located the body of Homer. He knows of Wilbur & Homer and figures that this is some of Jonah's handiwork. JD realizes that he needs to hurry up not just for Jonah's sake, but Mei Ling's as well.

While the time has passed, a sandstorm has picked up, blocking out the sun and pelting Jonah with stinging sand. Staggering through the blasting sand, Jonah comes upon a water hole. He drops down and starts to drink when he sees the sign indicating that the hole is poisoned. In a wild rage, Jonah grabs the sign, breaks it in half, tosses it amidst the storm and then curses God Himself.

Meanwhile, Mei Ling is lighting candles and praying for the safety of Jonah Hex.

The storm has abated as swiftly as it started and Jonah is crawling across the cracked desert floor. He is begging for water when he hears the voice of his father, Woodson, berating Ginny for giving him such a spineless son. Ginny starts crying about how she has failed her husband and Woodson blames all of his drinking upon his tramp of a wife and his worthless son.

Jonah starts shouting at the hallucination, telling his mother that he can stand on his own two feet and with a strength from center of his being, Jonah Hex stands up in the desert and struggles on.

Meanwhile (yup, we're gonna check up on everyone here), Quentin Turnbull is dining as best he can in a western town. He gloats that Jonah Hex will soon be destroyed and that he can return to his own business. Turnbull makes mention of advising President Grant on inflation and debt (placing this, at the latest, between Jan 1877 & March 4th, 1877) .

Back in the desert, Wilbur is starting to suffer the effects of the sun as well. He has reached the last of his water, following Jonah Hex in the circles of his wandering. Wilbur comes over a rise and finds Jonah Hex dead, next to a watering hole. Wilbur starts laughing at the irony of Hex being dead just inches from water and he starts gulping down the liquid. Suddenly he realizes how foul the water tastes and he starst getting cramps. That is when he sees the remnants of the shattered Poison sign. Wilbur curses Hex for having killed him and then collapses next to Jonah.

The vultures descend to start their feast when suddenly JD Hart runs up, guns blazing...

Statistics for this Issue
Men Killed by Jonah - I can't really give credit to Jonah for the death of Wilbur, but he nailed Homer a good one. 1
Running Total - 408
Jonah's Injuries - Shot in the right side, heatstroke
Timeline - This one happens all in one day and despite the reference to President Grant, I'll still place this one in April 1878 (maybe Grant still needed financial advice even after he was out of office.

From the great cinematic cover to the full page end, this one was one hell of a roller coaster ride. Fleisher kept the suspense up just enough by cutting back to the supporting cast and when Jonah finally had to confront the vision of his dad, it wasn't overly melodramatic, it was just right. Jonah was in a situation where nothing could save him except for his own determination not to die.

The only downside to the story was the length that Homer was able to converse after being shot square between the eyes.

The poisoned water hole had been used once before, but that was by Albano ten years prior. All in all, one of the best stories there was.

Next Issue: Explosions! Electrocutions! Snake Bites! Dehydration! Cheating Hearts!

Jonah Hex #63 "Ship of Doom!"

Jonah Hex #63
"Ship of Doom!"
Michael Fleisher, story - Dick Ayers & Tony DeZuniga, art - Ross Andru & Dick Giordano, cover

Jonah Hex & Mei Ling, in the hold of the ship Malay Tiger, have discovered that the ship is smuggling opium. Capt. Quirt, Barnaby Sledge and several crewmen descend into the hold with Sledge explaining why Jonah & Mei Ling were really brought aboard the ship. Seems like the Capt had killed a crewman via keelhauling and they need Jonah to replace him. As for Mei Ling....heh heh heh, if'n ya know what I mean.

Well, Jonah responds to that by slamming Sledge's head into a huge timber, splitting his skull and killing him. The rest of the crew rushes Hex and they finally take him by slamming a crate over his head. Quint orders that Jonah be stripped and held down and Quint commences whipping Jonah across the back.

Of course, one of the crew decides to protect Mei Ling from the horrible sight by holding her head against his chest.

Once Jonah recovers, he is put to hard work and then after an undisclosed amount of time one of the crew starts complaining about cramps. He breaks out in a terrible sweat and three other crewmen realize that he has cholera. They grab him and toss him overboard in order to save themselves.

The ship's doctor comes running and explains that cholera is passed through food and water, throwing the man to his death did nothing to save the others, in fact he can spot it in several of the other crew, including Jonah. The Doc orders all of the infected men to bedrest, thinking to himself that at the best, in two weeks maybe 15% percent will survive.

Needless to say (but I'm gonna say it anyway) after nine days Jonah is suffering from a high fever and is having delusions, delusions that take him back to the winter of 1848 when he was just 10 years old. Jonah comes home from rabbit hunting to find...

At one point Woodson takes a broken bottle and heads for Ginny. That's when Jonah steps in between them and...
Woodson then grabs the broken bottle and starts chasing Ginny around the house. Ginny is screaming at the top of her lungs and Jonah suddenly snaps out of his fever dream to find himself in the bunk in the ship but the screams continue. Once Jonah makes his way through the ship, he discovers that Mei Ling has been trying to take care of the sick crew on the deck but Capt. Quint is trying to force himself upon her.

Jonah stumbles up the stairs, but he is still sick and Quint starts pummeling him. Quint pulls out his whip once again and Jonah grabs a crate hook.

Whip - 0, Crate Hook - 1

Of course, Jonah grabs Quint's dying body and heaves it overboard. Mei Ling shouts for him to stop, but it too late. Jonah has just thrown overboard the only man well enough to navigate the ship. The entire crew is either dead or dying except for the doctor, Mei Ling, and a very sick Jonah Hex.

Jonah and the doc heave the corpses overboard and for the next 22 days they survive on fish they catch as the men continue to die. Then late one night a huge storm hits the ship. Jonah is doing the best he can to hold the ship together. Jonah shouts for help from the doc who is below deck, trying to lash the water casks doen so they don't break but it is too late, the ship slams into some rocks and the entire ship breaks apart.

Jonah Hex, Mei Ling and the doctor are thrown into the water and the sharks start swarming. In two creepy panels, the Doc goes down.

Mei Ling makes it to a life boat but Jonah is too far away and realizes that he has to fight the shark. You read it right. Jonah Freaking Hex vs. a Freaking Shark!!!!!

and when this man who is badass incarnate dives below the waves to encounter the shark on its own terms he learns... he will be fighting TWO FREAKING SHARKS!



Mei Ling, Mistress of the Obvious! But on the plus side, them there shark be-yotches are bleeding a whole lot more than my man.

Mei Ling bandages Jonah bitten leg and they lay in the lifeboat, embracing each other. Seven long days later they are picked up by another ship bound for San Francisco. The ship's surgeon is able to treat Jonah for the bite and he says that Jonah will be on crutches for a few weeks. Once the doc leaves, Jonah apologizes for how he has messed up their lives and he wants to start over.

Mei Ling replies that sometimes people love one another but there is no way that they can be happy together. They tried hard to be married, but they only made each other miserable and Mei Ling tells Jonah goodbye.

Three weeks later in San Francisco Mei Ling is leaving the ship and Jonah presses her once more. Mei Ling says that she will not change her mind and that she is going back to her brother's house to take care of their son, Jason.

Statistics for this Issue

Men Killed by Jonah - 2 and two sharks!
Running Total - 362, a snow leopard, and TWO SHARKS!
Jonah's Injuries - Whipped, knocked out, contracted cholera, shark bite on left leg.
Timeline - Wow, let's add this up shall we? An unknown number of days (let's say a week) + 9 days + 22 days + 1 week + 3 weeks = 66 days (two whole months!) Add that to the 129 days from the time this adventure started we end up with 195 days, placing this end of the voyage around the middle of November. So, whatever year this took place, Jonah was out of the country from May 1st to the middle of November 1876

Let's take a look at the flashback to 1848. Ginny left Woodson in June of '48, so this had to take place between Jan and, oh, let's say, end of March (depending on where the Hex family called home), so that places Jonah's birthday in that timeframe rather than in November.

As a storyline, this has been one of my favorites with Jonah being a fish outta water (hee hee, I made a funny, see? Jonah was fighting sharks and I made a reference to fish? Ahhh, never mind), Mei Ling endangered, and foreign intrigue. A+ all around on this storyline.

Did I mention the SHARKS?!?!?! Take THAT Devil Dinosaur!

Next Issue: Jonah has to face the dangers of San Francisco and Sharon Hillard!!!! (there's no way to make this sound exciting, but be here nonetheless, okay?)

Jonah Hex #53 "The Haunting"

Jonah Hex #53 Oct 1981
"The Haunting"
Michael Fleisher, story - Dick Ayers & Tony DeZuniga, art - Tony DeZuniga, cover

The bad guys have kidnapped Jonah's neighbor kid, Petey, lured Jonah into a cabin and just blown it all to hell. They ride off with Petey, thinking that they will be able to collect a ransom from Mrs. Hex and as they do, Jonah picks himself up off the ground. How did he survive?

The flashback shows Jonah kicking down the door and seeing food cooking on the stove. He picks up the skillet and underneath it sees wrappers from a box of "Ol' Rattler" dynamite!! Knowing that there is a trap, he hurls himself out the back window into the tall grass just as the cabin explodes. Now he is on the trail of the kidnappers.

The kidnappers are riding along, talking about what they will do with the ransom loot when the one riding in the rear is suddenly hoisted up into the trees by a noose around his neck. Jonah drops from the tree onto the dead crook's horse. When the lead kidnapper turns and sees Jonah, he pulls his pistol only to have Jonah shoot it from his hand! The crook says that he can't believe it to which Jonah replies, "Could I help it if when I fired you were holding that pistol in front of your heart?" (Translated from Hex-ese into English for easier typing).

Jonah takes Petey home and when thanked for rescuing the boy, Jonah says he had to, otherwise how could he get anything done on the farm? Jonah takes the kidnappers into town and then returns home after dark. Walking in, he lights a lantern and calls out for Mei Ling. The only answer is a note that she has left, indicating that she has taken Jason and left Jonah for good. Jonah upends some furniture in a rage and heads out to track Mei Ling down only to find a sudden downpour is wiping out her tracks, causing Jonah to rage against God in the middle of the deluge.

Meanwhile, Mei Ling has made here way over to Hiram & Ruth's farm, wanting to sit out the storm. Ruth introduces Emmy Lou and then Mei Ling explains that she is leaving Jonah. Mei Ling finally breaks down crying. She regains her composure long enough to grab her things and then head out despite the downpour.

Back at the Hex farm, Jonah decides to drown his sorrows by tossing back one after another. After some time passes the cabin door opens and El Papagayo walks in and tells Jonah that he would be more than happy to put Jonah out of his misery. Jonah outdraws the Mexican bandit, shooting the doorway and windows to pieces.

Behind him, Jonah hears Turnbull commenting to Solomon on how pathetic Jonah is in his drunken stupor. Jonah starts shouting his innocence to Turnbull and unloads his pistols again, destroying all the furniture. Jonah turns to face his father, holding out a bottle of whiskey. Woodson tells his son that he needs to learn to hold his liquor if he ever hopes to grow up like his paw.

Jonah starts screaming that he never wants to be like his father and rushes out into the rain where he is confronted with the Chameleon, brandishing a bloody pitchfork.


The Chameleon says that tonight Jonah will die but Jonah unloads once again, shooting the head completely off the scarecrow that Jonah mistook for the Chameleon. Jonah finally collapses in the rain, beaten down by his drunken hallucinations and his own sorrow.



The next day, Jonah is packing up his horse, ready to leave, when Emmy Lou rides up, asking where he is going. He states that he is returning to bounty hunting and get filthy stinking rich. Emmy begs to be taken along and Jonah says there is no chance of that happening. Emmy says that she will never forget him and as he rides off and leaves her, he thinks "Oh, yeah, you will!"

Statistics for this Issue
Men killed by Jonah - 2
Running Total - 331
Jonah's Injuries - Almost blown up!
Timeline - Same day as last issue and the day after. Spring of 1876.

This issue also had a backup, Tejano, a short lived series that I will chronicle at a latter date.

I really liked this issue, having a lot of tragedy and showing the amount of sorrow that a life like Hex's can put upon a man. The number of people that have tried to kill him and destroy him have not pushed him over the edge like losing the love of his life and only son. Makes me wonder if the level of pain would have been as deep if Mei Ling and Jason had been killed. I don't think so, because if they were dead, at least there would be some closure. With them both alive, every day that they don't return is another day that Jonah is being rejected by those he loves. It's also another day that he dare not hope that they return, because Jonah is slowly learning that hope brings nothing but more pain.

Jonah Hex is learning that his life is a tragedy. Pure and simple.

Next Issue: Is it still a drunken nightmare, or does Jonah really have to face El Papagayo and the Fort Charlotte Brigade?

Jonah Hex #51 "The Comforter"

Jonah Hex #51 August 1981
"The Comforter!"
Michael Fleisher, story - Dick Ayers & Tony DeZuniga, art - Tony DeZuniga, cover

Jonah is wanting to head into town but Mei Ling is reminding him that the baby is due at any time and she is wanting him to stay home. Jonah is having the same problem I have, being alone when I'm trying to buy a surprise for my wife. Take this for example. My wife saw a ring she wanted at the store and hinted that she wanted it. While she was wandering around the mall I managed to sneak back into the store and buy the ring. I had the clerk hold it for me because I KNEW that my wife would want to swing back by, look at the ring and hint once again that she would like it. If the ring was gone, then she would demand that I empty my pockets to prove that I didn't have it. I also told the clerk to lie about me coming back in.

Sure enough, my wife wanted to look at the ring again and when it was gone she started asking if they could get another one in. The clerk waiting on us was different than the one I dealt with and she kept looking at me really weird. She finally said "A gentleman purchased the ring earlier and had it placed on hold. Let me look at the number and see if we can order another one." She brings the ring out and it HAS MY NAME ON IT! My Lovely Wife is looking at something else and I'm trying to shoo the clerk away when suddenly, out of nowhere, the original clerk snatches it out of her hands and elbows her aside. Lovely Wife turns around and the clerk who helped me says, "I'm terribly sorry, but the gentleman who put the ring on hold had us deliver it not 5 minutes ago and the paperwork won't be back with the courier for about another 2 hours so there is no way for us to determine if we can order another one of those rings."

Lovely Wife glared at me as if something was up, looked at the clerk and totally bought that lying man's story.

Wait, this is supposed to be about Jonah. Okay, I'm back on track. Jonah is trying to get into town to purchase a comforter for Ling and the baby and he finally gets his way. Meanwhile in town, a horrible hardcase shows up and starts terrorizing the local bar, saying that he's waiting for Hex in order to kill the scar-faced former bounty hunter. A bunch of kids gather at the door of the saloon to see the ruckus and one young fella, Petey, starts laughing at the idea of Hex being outgunned by this slimeball. Needless to say, said slimeball don't cotton to being ridiculed.

Jonah arrives in town and picks up the comforter at the general store and the sheriff walks in, warning him about the dirtbag at the saloon. Jonah says that he is heading home and won't have any of it. When he steps out of the store, the weasel is standing there, calling Jonah out. Hex tells him that he isn't carrying and the trashbag tosses Jonah one of his own. Hex pitches the gun to the ground and walks away, the weaselly-slimeball-dirtbag calling him a coward and the townspeople aghast that Jonah has turned tail.

Jonah spend the next hour at a cafe, not eating the meal he ordered and having a flashback.

April, 1848. Woodson Hex takes his son to the fair. Woodson, being the drunken bastard that he is, wants Jonah to enter a boy-fighting contest. 25 cent entry, $10 prize for going three rounds. Jonah says that he just turned 10 and the other kid looks a lot older. Woodson asks if he has raised a coward and Jonah gets into the ring.

At the sound of the bell, Jonah lunges for the other kid but gets the living snot beat out of himself in the first round. Woodson goads Jonah back out for the second round, even though Jonah is begging for it to stop. At the start of the second round, Jonah gets a quick one to the side of the head, an uppercut and then a ten count as he lays there, bloody, dazed and battered. Woodson drags Jonah from the ring and starts slapping him and calling him a coward. A worthless coward.

.....
Hex looks at the clock in the cafe and realizes he better be getting on home. Petey meets him in the street and asks if it's true that Jonah is a coward. Petey is beaten up and just then the weasel shows up. Jonah asks Petey if this is the guy that gave him the black eye. Petey says that it is and Jonah swiftly drops the weasel with three hard punches.

Hex turns and starts walking away but the weasel draws and shoots Jonah as he is picking up the dropped comforter. Jonah goes down and Petey sprints for Jonah's horse. With the weasel standing over Hex, ready to finish the job, Hex throws the comforter into his face and Petey tosses Hex his rifle. When the weasel pulls the comforter down, he's staring down the barrel. And, of course, it's the last thing he ever saw.

Jonah gathers up his stuff and rides back home. The doc and his wife are there and Jason Woodson Hex is snuggled in bed with his mom. Jonah apologizes for not being there and Mei Ling says that it doesn't matter. Jonah gives her the comforter and she wraps Jason in it. Jonah picks up his boy and asks if he has anything to say to his paw. Jason replies...

Statistics for this Issue
Men killed by Jonah - one.
Running Total - 329
Jonah's Injuries - Shot in left shoulder
Timeline - A few months since last issue. The snow is gone and everything around the farm is green. So it must now be 1876. Right? I'm sticking with that. Now, the flashback was in 1848 and Jonah had just turned 10. With his birthday in November, that means that he turned 10 in 1847 so he must have been born in 1837, not in 1838. So THAT means that last issue, when Jonah turned 37, it was 1874, not 75, so this story does take place in 1875.

I've read that when folks are trying to determine things like timeline and what not, they use a date that was stated most of the time and work other dates around that, determining that references to incorrect dates were just mistakes. Jonah's dates have always been 1838 - 1904, but almost all of his childhood flashbacks are when he 'just turned 10' and it's in the spring. Do we go with the bulk of flashback references or the given birth year? Or do we do what my wife suggests "It's a comic book. Let it go. Or get off your butt and find the guy that wrote these and see what HE says."?

Anyway, a nice story with a flashback to abusive Woodson. It kinda explains why Jonah was such a sadistic bastard towards Blackie and Mange and why he let the dogs eat the circus owner in Jonah Hex #1 Vol 2. My only complaint is that Pappy Hex looks different every time we see him. And we have seen him a lot. It's also a short story because of a Bat Lash backup feature.

Next Issue: kidnapping, sucker-punching, wife-slapping and it all ends with Jonah getting blown all to hell.

Jonah Hex #34 "Christmas in an Outlaw Town"

Jonah Hex #34 Mar 1980
"Christmas in an Outlaw Town"
Michael Fleisher, story - Dan Spiegle, art - Luis Domiguez, cover

I teased with this cover last year and now here is the whole story. Jonah is tracking the Boley Boys through the snow and reminiscing about how his old man used to get drunk during Christmas and beating Jonah as a child. Meanwhile, 40 miles away at the home of Clarence Dooley, Mr. Dooley is getting dressed as Santa Claus as he does every Christmas for the local orphanage. Sadly, the Boley boys break into the house demanding money. Dooley points them to the open safe and as the outlaws leave, they decide not to leave any witnesses.

The next day, Jonah is at the cemetery where Dooley is being buried. Jonah is talking to a local Sister, verifying that Dooley's valet survived to identify that it was the Boleys. The Sister mentions that the kids will be very sad since Dooley played Santa every year. Jonah says that there is nothing that he can do about that, but he will bring in the Boleys.

Jonah rides off, tracking the Boleys for a full day and night. The next morning Jonah rides up to the ghost town of Willow Creek, hoping to fill his canteen from a well. When he rides into town he finds that the town is just bursting with people, and not fine upstanding citizens but several outlaws that Jonah recognizes. However, he is centered on finding the Boleys and walks into the saloon to see if he can find any information.

He finds more than information, he finds the Boleys and when he draws on them, they calmly point out the "No Firearms" sign. Jonah is flummoxed and manages to just avoid getting smashed over the head with a chair by one of the Boleys. A huge fistfight breaks out and Jonah is on the losing end when the sheriff of the town walks in and breaks it up. Jonah stands up and finds out the sheriff is...


Jonah gets arrested and gets hauled in front of the judge...


Jonah gets no mercy and in addition to getting pistol whipped, he gets thrown into jail for 30 days. Pappy Hex explains that he is running the town as a hideout for every known criminal and gets a cut of every crime that they commit in return for protection. Pappy explains that he would love to chat but he has to rob the Transcontinental Limited along with the Boley Boys. Pappy heads out, leaving the deputy in charge. (we'll see how effective THAT plan is)

No sooner is Pappy out the door does Jonah pull the knife from his back and threaten the deputy. The deputy turns to get the key and manages to trip over a spittoon, fall, and knock himself out. Jonah then has to resort to dragging the deputy over to the cell, take his gun, and shoot the peg upon which the keys are hung. With the keys on the floor, Jonah uses his belt to drag the keys over to the door and he unlocks the door himself.

Later, the Transcontinental Limited has been stopped by armed bandits. The engineer and the fireman are forced to open the car holding the gold and even open the safe. The door to the safe swings open and there stands Jonah Hex, guns drawn. Jonah guns down the Boley Boys and spares his paw. Pappy pleads for his life and Jonah says that if Pappy doesn't do exactly what Jonah says, Pappy will be in the pen for a hundred years. Pappy agrees to anything.

The scene cuts to the orphanage with a huge Christmas tree set up and a ton of kids trying to sit on Santa's lap. The Sister is thanking Jonah for finding a replacement for Mr. Dooley/Santa. Jonah states that just hearing the laughter of the children and seeing the contented look on pappy's face is reward enough. Jonah wishes his paw a merry Christmas and heads for the door. The kids are now climbing all over Pappy, pulling off his beard, knocking his hat off and Pappy is screaming for Jonah to come back or he'll get Jonah in the end. Pappy screams that he is the craftiest Hex.

Jonah rides off, shouting Merry Christmas and laughing his head off.

Statistics for this issue
Men killed by Jonah - 3
Running Total - 261
Jonah's Injuries - Beat up in a fight and pistol whipped.
Timeline - It appears that this one takes place after the last meeting between Jonah & his dad, so that would be 1875 or after.

There wasn't a whole lot to this issue and no explanation as to how Jonah managed to survive being locked in a huge safe. BUT (and that is a big but) I enjoyed this issue an awful lot. It was a pretty light-hearted story with the sheriff/judge bit and the ending page with Jonah laughing that hard (which may be the only time Jonah ever laughed. I'll have to research that one) and it was a nice change of pace in the history of a man whose story ends up being about one of the most painful and tragedy filled lives in the history of comics.

Here's hoping you and your family have a blessed Christmas. We'll be back (probably after the first of the year, but you can never tell)


Next Issue: The return of Quentin Turnbull and the Fort Charlotte brigade.