Jonah Hex #16 V2 "The Ballad of Tallulah Black"

Jonah Hex #16 V2 Apr '07
"The Ballad of Tallulah Black"
Justin Gray and Jimmy Palmiotti, story - Phil Noto, art and cover

The Cruel Kindness of Children - A young girl is fishing and pulls in her catch. She calmly takes a rock and smashes in the fish's skull and then heads out. She comes upon Jonah Hex. Hex is leaning against a tree, watching a man that he has hung slowly strangle to death. The girls asks if Hex hung him and if he will cut him down. Jonah says that the man brought it on himself and that he promised Hex his boots. The girl states that it isn't very Christian of Hex and then she jumps up and grabs the man by the feet, hanging her full weight on him and thus snapping his neck. Hex replies with "They teach ya that in church?" and the girl heads on home.

The Ballad of Tallulah Black - Seven men stand in front of a log cabin, holding the entire family in their crosshairs. They state that homesteaders should have surrendered their land and they are here to take it. A woman comes out of the cabin and starts berating the gunmen as cowards and the ring-leader starts by shooting the family. The woman rushes at the men and they shoot her in the left eye, dropping her to the ground. The men burn the house and then ride off to tell the "Sergeant" that the land has been abandoned.

Time passes and the woman, Tallulah, opens her eye after being poked awake by the little girl that was fishing. The girl invites Tallulah home for supper, but Tallulah declines, saying she has bodies to bury. The girl leaves, warning that there is a bad man in the woods.

One year later - Several men walk into a bordello and they recognize Tallulah from their earlier encounter. She now has an eye patch and is doped up, sitting on a couch. Simon, the leader, indicates that he would like to have Tallulah for the night but the Madam suggests someone more lively. Simon insists and then takes Tallulah upstairs, throwing her on the bed. Tallulah can't tell if she understands her reality and when Simon assures her that he is real, she attacks him, scratching deep gouges in his face. He punches her and then drags her around the room by the hair before pulling a knife  and then everything goes black.

Tallulah wakes up to see the Madam and the doctor standing over her.

Time Doesn't Heal All Wounds - Three weeks later.  Tallulah stands in front of a mirror, her face a jigsaw of scars and the madam telling her of a man who is "a killer to the manner born" (I LOVE how Justin and Jimmy write dialogue!). She gives Tallulah some money and a pistol and the advice that this man, Jonah Hex might take pity on her since she is now as scarred as he.

Three more weeks later. Three men are hidings amongst some rocks hollering that they KNOW that Hex is out there. While they are weighing their options a stick of dynamite comes tumbling over the outcropping of rock and explodes below them, shearing off the ledge where they were perched. They fall backwards into the canyon, one getting his head crushed along the way. Hex walks up...

We next see Tallulah sitting under the remnants of a tree when three men atop two horses comes riding by. They are running from Hex and they stop and quickly rob Tallulah of her horse.

Out of the Frying Pan - Tallulah, now forced to walk across the desert, stumbles upon a ramshackle town and falls, literally, into the general store. The storekeeper bends down as if to take care of her....

Tallulah wakes up to finds herself tied, spread-eagle, on a bed and clothed in large dress. She hollers for release and the storekeeper walks in and says...

Just then a customer comes into the store and the storekeeper exits to tend to them. Meanwhile Tallulah attempts to gnaw away her bonds and then starts screaming for help. The storekeeper tells the patron that his wife is sick in the head, fighting her way against the evils of liquor. A pistol is placed against the storekeeper's head and the patron demands to see the "wife".

The storekeeper walks into the room, followed closely behind by Jonah Hex and his pistol. Hex cuts Tallulah loose, hands the knife to her and exits the room. A few minutes later, Tallulah emerges from the store, blood staining every inch of the dress. She determines that her savior is, in fact, Jonah Hex and offers him a few hundred dollars to kill the seven men that destroyed her family and her life.

Hex turns down her offer because the men aren't wanted and it ain't enough money for seven men. Tallulah states that she wants to learn how to kill them, not have Hex do it for her. Jonah ain't interested. She says that what they done to her is even worse under her clothes but...

To which Jonah responds "We're gonna have ta work on yore aim."

Statistics for This Issue
Men Killed By Jonah - 3
Running Total - 604 (432 past, 55 future, 15 Vertigo, 112 V2)
Jonah's Injuries - None
Timeline - This issue covers a year and six weeks
Rape Percentage - 43% (7 out of 16)

An incredibly cruel story with some odd undertones that won't become apparent until issues 50 and 70 regarding the identity of the little girl.

And what can we say about Tallulah? A beautiful strong woman who is brutalized in ways that would drive most people into madness and who eventually will almost steal the limelight away from Jonah Hex in his own book. She is probably one of the strongest supporting characters to have come into comics in the past 10 years and sadly, in the Jonah Hex movie, she was reduced to a groan inducing fanboy Easter Egg.

This is a great story, difficult to read at times because of the terror visited upon Tallulah, and it is definitely a turning point in the story of Hex.

Next Issue: If it is even possible, things turn uglier than they already are.

Jonah Hex V2 #10 "Gator Bait"

Jonah Hex V2 #10 Oct, 2006
"Gator Bait"
Justin Gray and Jimmy Palmiotti, story - Phil Noto, cover and art

Gone Too Far South - Black Swamp, Louisiana. A wooden shack built over a swamp and we see a man, Flint, dumping a body into the water and gators feasting upon it. A large retarded man, Dewey, sits on the porch along with an old woman called "Ma", gleefully watching the carnage. Flint mentions that "the Negro" got away but "Dean stuck him good". As the three of them watch the gators eating the body tossed into the water, Flint asks about "the whore". "Ma" responds that the girl is lost to the sins of the flesh so they should just wipe her off and let the boys preoccupy themselves with her.

Last Request of a Dying Man - An injured African American rides into town and falls of his horse just as Jonah Hex exits a saloon. The man begs Hex for help,  saying that "they" have his wife, baby, and best friend and begs for retribution. Hex states that retribution comes at a price. The man says that they were on their way to Oklahoma and hands over a deed to Hex. Hex tells him they will pay in blood for what they done and the man dies with a Thank You on his lips.

Later that night Hex is in a poker game and ends up busted. Leaving the game, Hex is stopped by a question from another player, asking if there is anything of value that Hex could put up as a stake to return to the game. Jonah pulls the deed from his coat, reads it and then returns it and leaves. Hex is walking down the dark street and overhears the constable talking to the undertaker.

The constable voices concern as to why he should venture into the swamp based on the word of a dead Negro. The undertaker says that he only builds boxes, he has no thoughts concerning the Lamont family. Hex interrupts, asking if the box contains the man from that afternoon. They acknowledge that it does and that this is no business of Hex's. Jonah calls them cowards and idiots because they don't see the opportunity before them. All the constable has to do is place a bounty on the Lamonts and he will be a hero come election time, with no endangerment to himself. The constable sees the wisdom in the words.

The Jaws of Death - Hex is making his way through the trees of the swamp and comes upon a marker, an arrow made of rocks. He climbs a cypress and spies the cabin in the distance and we hear a voice behind him. It is a man with a shotgun, saying that Hex is pretty good at trackin' but since he ain't from the swamp, he can't move about silent, like swamp folk. The man introduces himself as Dean Lamont. He asks for Hex's name, but Jonah says they won't know each other long enough for that to matter. Dean forces Jonah to head onward to the cabin.

As they approach, the whole Lamont family is on the porch, Flint, Ma, Dewey, and four others. Flint asks Dean what he has there and Dean replies "Dinnah". They take Hex to the back porch, overlooking the swamp and the gators. Ma asks Hex if he thinks her pet gators are cute. Jonah says that he came across a colored fella and explains the story. Ma says they did stop by and she guesses that Hex is here per the man's request.

Jonah wants to know where the mother and child are. Flint grins and says the mother is inside. The half-breed Negro baby was a tasty snack for the gators. They force Jonah backwards toward the porch railing, Flint on one side, Ma on the other. Flint pulls his knife and suddenly Jonah throws himself backward, grabbing Ma and Flint, taking them both with him into the swamp water.

Dewey starts clapping and laughing, cheering the gators on. Hex pulls Ma and Flint deeper, throwing Ma into the path of one gator and then wresting the knife from Flint's hand. He stabs Flint in the chest and then wedges Flint's corpse into the mouth of a second gator. Hex dives under again and takes a gator head on, stabbing it repeatedly in the head and then surfacing across the swamp and dragging himself onto the shore.

Across the swamp, Hex can hear the screams of the family and the cheers and laughs of Dewey. Dean garbs his shotgun and screams at Dewey to shut up. Dewey grabs the barrel of the shotgun and says he don't feel so good. Dewey suddenly vomits all over himself and Dean, repulsed, inadvertently pulls the trigger, blowing Dewey's head clean (more or less) off.

Lessons From the Cheyenne - Later, Dean is leading the rest of  Lamont family in a toast of remembrance of Ma and Flint. Dean tells the others to open the crate. As Jonah creeps up outside he overhears Dean say that maybe the girl can soothe their troubled hearts in this time of despair. One of the family observes that the girl is no longer right in the head. Another of them says he can't stand her vacant stare..go get a sack to put over her head.

Suddenly the front door swings open and Jonah Hex, dripping wet, stands silhouetted in the doorway. Dean and the others are frozen and the door swings shut. From outside the cabin we hear the carnage and hell that Jonah Hex visits upon the Lamonts.

All we get to see is...

The house is now on fire and Jonah is leading the blindfolded victim out of the house. He says that she doesn't need to see what he visited upon them. He says he ain't much for conversation but she has probably crawled deep inside herself, so it don't matter nohow. They aren't 100% square for the death of the baby, but it's the best he could do.

As they stand there, watching the cabin burn, Hex hands the deed over to the woman and says that when she is ready to go, he'll be at the horse.

Statistics for This Issue

Men killed by Jonah - 7 people and one gator. (Dewey was killed by Dean)
Running Total - 567 (432 past, 55 future, 15 Vertigo, 65 V2)
Jonah's Injuries - Probably some scrapes from the gator fight.
Timeline - A day and night at the start, probably not too long to track down the Lamonts. Let's say two-three days, tops.
Rape Percentage - 40% (4 out of 10)

This was one sick sick story. The level of sickness, depravity, and evil exhibited by the Lamonts has to be some of the worst in comics (but don't worry folks, we have 60 more issues to get through and Jimmy and Justin push the envelope even further).  The punishment handed out by Hex was, by my estimation, no where near enough, but judgement of that level can only be meted out by God.

I can't say that I enjoyed this issue. The story was good, but it was just a little too twisted for me. I have to admit, the older I get, the less tolerant I am of sick evil deviant behavior in 'entertainment'. Also, I'm still trying to figure out the details regarding the land deed. It appears to be signed by Andrew Jackson (President 1829-1837) and it was stated that it was for land in Oklahoma (first opened for settlement in 1889). Deeds weren't handed out in the Land Runs, one staked a claim and then obtained the deed, so if our victim had a deed and was heading to Oklahoma, he would have had to obtained it from someone else so the earliest this story could have taken place would have been early summer of 1889.

But what did Jackson have to do with it? I can hear you say "NOTHING! It was artistic license on Noto's part." I know, but stuff like that drives me crazy!!

Next Issue - The Fallout from Issue #1 and we learn that this Hex is IN the DCU!

Jonah Hex V2 #8 "Never Turn a Blind Eye"

Jonah Hex V2 #8 Aug 2008
"Never Turn a Blind Eye"
Jimmy Palmiotti and Justin Gray, story - Dylan Teague and Val Semeiks and Dan Green, art - David Beck, cover

It's the Southern Nevada Territory, 1868 (arrrgh. More later) and a small town is all astir because Jonah Hex just came riding in, his horse pulling a small wagon with a casket tied onto it. He pulls up in front of the jail and tosses the wagon's rope to the sheriff who pries open the casket only to find six heads inside.

Hex demands his money and the sheriff says he'll get it right away. Jonah tells him to bring it to the saloon. Jonah is relaxing in the saloon when a man stumbles through the swinging doors, not believing that he sees Jonah.  The man collapses and Hex tells the barkeep to fetch a doctor. The man, a fellow bounty hunter by the name of Jake Clevenger, is moved to a table where he relates the tale that he and Mike Brogan, Matt Tobias and Bat Shiff were tracking a man when they got ambushed two days out of Flagstaff.

It was a dozen or so bedroll killers and Jake was the only one to get away. The doc comes in and looks at Jake but Jake says that the killers are on his trail and will kill everyone and everything in town once they arrive. Jake tries to warn the sheriff but Hex tells him to let the doc finish his work first.

Outside, four men on horseback ride slowly into town. The storekeeper runs over to the saloon to tell the sheriff and Jake says that it has to be the killers, the sheriff had better be careful. The sheriff steps outside and asks if he can help the men. The men answer him in German and suddenly Jake bursts out of the saloon and shoots one of them through the head. One of the men shoots the sheriff in the shoulder, Hex steps out and kills two but the fourth one rides off.

The sheriff, bleeding from the shoulder tells Jake that he has to give up his gun. Jake says that there is no reasoning with crazy killers. The sheriff tells Hex that he could use his help to which Jonah replies that this is the sheriff's town and he better start handing out badges. Jake rails on about how they are all going to die and the sheriff panics and enlists the help of as many men as he can.

Hex goes back to the saloon and Jake is right behind him begging for help. Hex tells a saloon girl that he wants a room and she takes him upstairs. Jake said he thought Hex was one for taking sides and Jonah tells him that the only side that makes sense is his. Upstairs the saloon girl is getting undressed but Hex has a small telescope and is looking out the window. Hex asks her why she does this and...

Again with the "heh."

Outside, the sheriff is placing men all around town for an ambush and a large group of riders are getting close to town. The sheriff meets the riders in the middle of the street and Hex sees some wagons far outside of town with a lot of kids hanging around. He leaves the girl and heads downstairs.

In the street a woman from the riders approaches the sheriff and says "We is here...to..fair dealing." The sheriff is confused and just the Hex kicks Jake out of the saloon and into the street. The woman grabs a knife and lunges for Jake but the sheriff stops her but one of the townspeople get jumpy and shoot a rider.

Well, all hell breaks loose with riders shooting towners and towners shooting riders. One man shoots a woman rider in the back and Hex dispatches him without a thought. Once the shooting ceases...

Hex grabs a man, a rider, that is still alive and the man hands Hex a photo of himself and family. Just then several dozen kids come walking into town and start mourning their dead parents. Hex walks over to Jake a plants the muzzle of his pistol right between Jake's eyes, demanding an explanation. Jake starts stammering and Hex shoots him in the left knee.

Jake screams and relates the tale about how they were on the road to Flagstaff and come upon a young girl washing in a river. Things being what they are, Jake and his three buddies rape and kill the young girl. Her younger sister sees it and runs off but Jake shoots her in the back and kills her. The nearby wagon train hears the shots and commence to chase and kill the men, following Jake to this small town.

Back in the present, Jake is begging for mercy from Hex. Jonah grabs a rope and hands it to the surviving rider and then leaves town. As Hex rides off we see Jake strung up from a tree and several dozen children mourning in a graveyard.

Statistics for This Issue

Men Killed by Jonah - 9. Six heads, two riders and a townsfolk.
Running Total - 555 (432 past, 55 future, 15 Vertigo, 53 V2)
Jonah's Injuries - None
Timeline - 1868. But, as we all know, Nevada became a state on Halloween, 1864. Things like this should be easy to check, so why aren't they? I said "WHY AREN'T THEY!?!?!?!?"
Rape Percentage  - 37.5% (3 out of 8)

This story was a good heaping plate of "Meh." First off the artwork was rough. Dylan Teague did the first 13 pages and the last nine were by Val Semeiks and Dan Green. The change in work was pretty jarring and the break was after a couple of pages of ads. I found myself flipping back to see what had happened. Teague's work was very stiff and the last part of the book was too scratchy and cartoony. This ranks on the bottom of the pile as far artwork for this series.

The story wasn't that great either. A small exchange between Hex and the saloon girl showed some insight, but that was it. We end up with a misunderstanding that leads to dozens of deaths and it all started with... wait for it... rape. Wow, eight issues and three rapes. As Chris Sims once said:

But then again, there’s certainly stuff that turns me off just on principle; I stopped reading Jonah Hex because of all the wild west rape that was going on in that book, and if I never see someone in a DC comic have their arm violently ripped off again, it’ll be too soon. We all have our tastes.

I had to remind myself when Sims dropped the book (#27) but I have to admit I was getting tired of the rapes right about this time.  This is one story that could have been left out of any trades and the world would have been better off.

Next Issue - Things get really really weird and we have the return of Tony DeZuniga

Jonah Hex V2 #4 "The Time I Almost Died"

Jonah Hex V2 #4 Apr 2006
"The Time I Almost Died"
Jimmy Palmiotti and Justin Gray, story - Luke Ross, art - Howard Chaykin, cover

Six armed men stand outside a log cabin, demanding that the inhabitants exit the premises. Frustrated, the men shoot the cabin to pieces and then storm in to find.... nothing. Standing in the middle of the cabin they uncover a trapdoor in the floor and as they are about to open it, Jonah Hex rains down death from his hiding place in the rafters. The men dead, Hex jumps down into the pools of blood as a man, Chako, crawls out of the trapdoor.

Turns out Chako is a bounty that Hex has been dragging along for two weeks since Chako is wanted alive. Chako keeps pleading his innocence and offers Hex bribes of women, other bounties, almost everything because he keeps talking non-stop.

When Hex and Chako finally make it to Tall Pines, Colorado, Chako is gagged and then turned over to the local sheriff. The mayor thanks Hex for bringing Chako in but Jonah notes that the mayor has no money in his hand. The mayor explains that the bank is closed but he will have the money first thing in the morning. Hex explains that he will take Chako back until the money is produced and demands that the mayor open the bank and get the cash.

Just then a young woman comes running down the street and slaps Hex across the face and spits in his eye. The mayor appears and apologizes for that is his daughter Mayleen. Mayleen is mute and is severely upset by what has transpired. The mayor states that the very mention of Chako's name drives her to tears and he instructs two of his men to take her back to the hardware store and settle her down. As she is escorted away, she throws a pleading look to Hex.

The mayor thanks Hex again for bringing Chako in and Hex says that he doesn't appreciate the mayor hiring Aubrey McHane and his boys as insurance and that they are all dead. The mayor asks if Hex is moving on and Jonah replies that it ain't none of the mayor's concern.

Jonah heads off for the saloon and gets into a poker game only to have Mayleen interrupt it with a note that states: Chako is innocent. I helped Chako escape. You brought him back. His blood is on your hands now. She runs out and Hex follows close behind.

Jonah catches up to her and asks "Are you saying that Chako DIDN'T rape you?" (Rape Reference #2 for the series) He demands to know what really happened but she won't reveal it. Hex tells her to get to someplace safe.

Jonah then goes to the jail and breaks Chako out, locking the deputy in the cell and demanding that Chako shut up and tell him what really happened. As they exit the jail, they are greeted by the mayor and three gunmen. The mayor gives instructions to tie and gag them, 'soften their dispositions' and have them ready to hang as soon as possible.

Hex wakes up sometime later to find himself in a cell with the still-talking Chako. Hex breaks Chako's nose to shut him up.

We then find the mayor locking Mayleen in a storeroom in the hardware store to keep her out of the way, but Mayleen starts working at getting the key out of the lock using a hairpin.

We next find the town gathered around the gallows, Chako and Hex gagged with nooses around their necks. As the mayor rails on about their crimes, Hex for helping a prisoner escape and Chako for raping the mayor's daughter we find Mayleen kicking open the storage room door, grabbing a rifle from the store and rushing to the gallows.

The lever is pulled and the trapdoor drops as Mayleen opens fire. The crowd turns and the mayor screams for someone to disarm his daughter, but the town is standing agape at what they see. Mayleen has taken the barrel of the rifle and written in the dirt:

MY FATHER DID IT

The mayor tells the executioner to throw the next lever, killing Hex. The townspeople shout for him to stop. The guy starts to pull the lever and a shot hits the gallows next to him, the townspeople have pulled their weapons and are now demanding Hex be released. They ungag Hex and he confirms Mayleens story, saying that Mayleen helped Chako escape. Mayleen runs up and hugs the hanging body of Chako.

The gallows trapdoor springs open and the mayor hangs dead next to the man he had killed... BUT WAIT! Chako is still alive! They cut him down and he starts talking ninety to nothing, thanking Hex  but asking where Hex is going.

Jonah mounts up and rides off into the sunrise muttering under his breath, "Somewheres quiet."

Statistics for this Issue

Men Killed by Jonah - 6
Running Total - 514 (432 past, 55 future, 15 Vertigo, 12 V2)
Jonah's Injuries - obviously beaten up and knocked out
Rape Percentage - 50% (2 references in 4 issues)

I enjoyed this issue, more for Chako than anything else. The idea of someone talking non-stop was played to a perfect comedic tone, especially the scene where Chako's nose gets broken. I enjoyed other little touches of Jonah not wanting to sit with his back to the saloon door; demanding that the mayor open the bank to get the money; the executioner apologizing for hanging Hex. The art was good, (the people are all distinct and the expressions are fantastic) the color and dialogue were great. A nice above average issue.

Next Issue: Geoffrey Lewis, Linda Hunt, Indians, sickness and NUNS WITH GUNS!!!