Showing posts with label 2012. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 2012. Show all posts

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

REVIEW: The Lords of Salem


The Lords of Salem
Director: Rob Zombie
Year 2012

The Lords of Salem is a powerfully atmospheric horror film which takes the lore and legends of witchcraft in both Salem Massachusetts and Europe, and turns it on its head in a modern and rather disturbing twist. Heavily foreboding and constantly dire, this unique tale is drenched in stylistic imagery and unsettling moments, all adding up to a classically approached horror tale that wisely relies on its outstanding tone and morbid mood to tell its intriguing story. With its spectacular cast and superb locations, The Lords of Salem is without a doubt a delightfully disturbing film, one which absorbs you into a world all of its own and never lets you go.

The film follows a Salem Massachusetts radio DJ named Heidi Hawthorne, who inexplicably receives a mysterious package containing a record by a band who calls themselves “The Lords”. After sampling the record on the air, Heidi begins to have strange visions and haunting premonitions of a coven of witches from Salem's past. Escalating to a feverish pitch, Heidi begins to succumb to this unexplained madness as an ancient evil vies to enter into our world and take bloody revenge.


Sheri Moon Zombie takes on the role of Heidi Hawthorne, the radio DJ who unwittingly finds herself caught in a sinister coven's plot. As far as her past performances go, I've never really been a huge fan of Moon's work. Sure I've enjoyed her bat shit crazy roles in House of 1000 Corpses, The Devil's Rejects and the two modern takes on Halloween, but they were always so one note and vile. In retrospect, she was never really given a chance in her film career to showcase a different side of her acting personality. That all changes with The Lords of Salem, because against the grain she portrays an extremely likeable and sympathetic heroine. Low key and shockingly restrained, Moon gives a gentle approach to Heidi Hawthorne.

Sure her looks are as in your face and abrasive as her previous character iterations have been, but underneath that rocker chick facade is a soft spoken and surprisingly timid person. Moon beautifully allows us to see multiple facets of her character, giving us a fully realized study of who she is in this cinematic world, while also leaving a bit of a mystery about her sordid past. It's intriguing and highly welcoming, and it allows us to get sucked up in the story and follow her into whatever hell she finds herself in. Without a doubt, this is my favorite performance from Moon, as she finally gets her chance to show us what she's made of, aside from the one note psycho in Rob Zombie's other directorial efforts.


Outside of Sheri Moon Zombie's outstanding central performance, we have an equally abundant outcropping of scene stealing actors and actresses. First and foremost is Meg Foster who plays the role of Margaret Morgan, the most ghastly witch ever portrayed in horror cinema. Going above and beyond in stark boldness, Foster bares it all and literally projects pure evil unto the audience, in one of the most bravest performances in recent memory. She's grotesque, frightening and wholly believable, and the film thrives because of her fearless portrayal of the wickedest of witches. Another interesting addition to the cast is the impressive trifecta of Judy Geeson, Patricia Quinn and Dee Wallace. Their roles in the film are something of a mystery, but their palpable presence is without a doubt substantial. They each bring their own personal style to the role, yet the chemistry between the three is terrific and genuinely terrifying.

Though they ultimately take a back seat to the majority of the cast, the male actors of the production are excellently handpicked to bring out memorable performances. Bruce Davison as Francis Matthias is a real treat while Ken Foree is always a delight to see on screen. The most surprising of the bunch though is Jeff Daniel Phillips as Herman Salvador, friend to Moon's Heidi. He brings a lot of heart and feeling to his role and that helps the film find some solid ground underneath its feet while things gradually begin to delve into the unusual.

Outstanding characters aside, the film has an abundance of assets to boast about. For one, the build up of the story is akin to the stylistic approach of late 60's and early 70's era horror films. Like Rosemary's Baby or The Omen, The Lords of Salem allow us to gel into the world before things begin to fall into despair, and in that approach the film comes off as a more classic piece then we are normally used to in this day in age. The patience behind this is astounding and the gradual progression of the story into insanity is unquestionably effective. Once things really go off the wall and off the rails, we are subjected to a plethora of weird moments and horrific scenarios, all lambasted with harsh fluorescent hues and abrasive lighting that would make even Dario Argento in his prime ecstatic. In its most simplistic moments and in its most complex of times, The Lords of Salem is a beautifully crafted film which has enough power to make you believe in the vile nature of the story at hand, and to me that is what great films should strive to do.


The Lords of Salem is a genuine force to be reckoned with. It has a vibrant style and a grounded edge that often flashes into absurd fits of rage, yet it always maintains that dire tone that makes it so captivating. Sustained by a pitch perfect cast and an array of iconic performances, this is one horror film that remembers its roots and establishes itself as a worthy successor to the more artistically crafted of the genre. Sheri Moon Zombie is sensational as the afflicted Heidi Hawthorne and her performance proves that she can play a likeable character as well as a sociopath.

The rest of the cast fill out this wild world with extreme validity, with Meg Foster leading the pack alongside veteran actors Judy Geeson, Patricia Quinn, and Dee Wallace. As essential as all of these actors are to the final piece, it would be nothing without director Rob Zombie's keen expressive eye and his tremendous restraint in keeping the pace on a leash and gradually introducing us into the obscure. Of course I can't forget the wonderful locations around Salem Massachusetts, which Zombie filmed with great affection. One of the most appealing things for me in the movie was to witness places that I've visited before and to feel that same ominous feeling when walking the cobblestone streets or passing through an unsettling cemetery in Salem. There is just such a prevalent atmosphere in the quiet town of Salem, and Zombie captured it perfectly. If you are in the mood for a modern take on the slow-burn horror classics of the late 60's and early 70's, then give this one a try. Rob Zombie has struck magic with this combination of subtle character study and full blown shock art, and it is one that is extremely powerful. The Lords of Salem is a.....


King Diamond?

Peek a boo! I see you!

These guys rock!

Look out! It's a Stink-Ape!

Meg Foster you blue-eyed sexy devil, you.

Dear Lord! Even the crosses in this flick are weird!

It's nice to see that Comet from Full House is still getting steady work.

Sweet coat dude, but the face has got to go.

Say Cheese! That's going to be a good one!

Bruce Davison.... Man about town.

Let me guess.... It ends badly.

Hold on... Can I call you back? There are a few freaky-ass doctors behind me.

The gang's all here.

What the hell is going on?!?!?!

Keep your roaming hands to yourself Dee!

Red Rover... Red Rover... Let Satan come over!

Well ain't you something Mrs. Rocker Chick.

Naked 'King of the Mountain' is so much fun! Yippie!!!

Monday, October 21, 2013

ALL THE COLORS: The Lords of Salem



















Sunday, October 20, 2013

REVIEW: Cockneys vs Zombies


Cockneys vs Zombies
Director: Matthias Hoene
Year 2012

Cockneys vs Zombies is an outstandingly off the wall zombie comedy, which features an eclectic cast of characters as they try to survive a zombie apocalypse. Infused with a hyper witty style and brimming with imaginable kills and zombie slayers, this under the radar slice of horror heaven is energetic, brash, and a whole hell of a lot of fun. Played out in a slapstick manner, Cockneys vs Zombies is what you would get if Guy Ritchie and Edgar Wright had a cinematic love-child. Instant zombie comedy classic!

The film follows two brothers Terry and Andy, as they come up with a plan to save their grandfather Ray and his friends from being evicted from their old folks home. Foolishly, they decide to rob a bank and they gather a crew of miscreants and slackers to pull off the heist. The only hitch, other than they don't have a single clue on what they are doing, is that today is the day the dead rise. Caught with a bag full of money but surrounded by the walking dead, the crew of survivors attempt to make their way across town and back to the retirement home, while the elderly residents deal with the zombie outbreak in their own unique way.


The brothers Terry and Andy are played by Rasmus Hardiker and Harry Treadaway, two intrepid young actors who do a great deal with the underdog roles. Both actors are likeable and each bring their own individual approach to their character, making for a pair of tremendously sympathetic would-be criminals. Along for the ride is Michelle Ryan who plays the role of their cousin Katy. Tough as nails and cool as shit, this firecracker knows how to handle herself and she looks damn good in the process. Ryan does wonders with the role, and I found myself drawn to her performance, more so than the already interesting central brother characters.

Delightfully bringing a sense of weight to the film is Alan Ford and Honor Blackman as the central elderly inhabitants at the old folks home. Blackman of course is a living legend of cinema, famously portraying the tantalizing Pussy Galore in the James Bond iconic flick Goldfinger, and in Cockneys vs Zombies she is just as tenacious. The same can be said for Ford, who is as ornery as ever just like in his classic performances in Snatch and Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels. The two are delightfully entertaining in their roles and each of them gets a chance to perform some thrilling zombie kills. Aside from these handful of play-makers, the rest of the cast does an equally enjoyable job in making the world of this silly zombie comedy feel fresh and above all fun.


Like any good zombie comedy, the makers of Cockneys vs Zombies steered clear of parody and stuck to an original story with unique characters. Much like how the filmmakers of Shaun of the Dead and Zombieland approached their own material, director Matthias Hoene and company honed in on a personal story, filled with wacky antics, unusual characters, and equally diverse locations. This individualist angle allows the film to claim its own turf amongst the zombie comedy staples, while giving us a highly memorable set of circumstances which to cheer and praise. The retirement home especially is a genuinely unique setting for a zombie film, allowing us to tread through a locale that is never really touched upon within the genre.

There is also a great feeling of reckless abandon in this production, like they just released the film from a leash and let it run amok, wondering where it might lead. I loved the unrestrained situations and unexpected results that come about once the zombies are let loose and the zombie hordes go on a rampage, and the fact that you care about these characters is an added bonus that really helps pull you through every trial and tribulation that they encounter. Another added bonus is the fact that this film provides an abundance of blood and gore, which is essential to any good zombie flick. Heads explode, flesh is ripped and intestines are exposed, all done by the combination of practical and computer generated effects. Combine all of this with the over the top attitude that the film constantly throws in your face and you have yourself one exceptionally memorable zombie apocalyptic good time.


Cockneys vs Zombies is an absurd, yet highly infectious, zombie comedy film, that never holds back in delivering gore, endearing characters, and undead insanity. Consisting of a spectacular cast of iconic legends and fresh faced up in comers, the energy that this ensemble cast is able to generate is palpable. I especially enjoyed the performances of veteran actors Alan Ford and Honor Blackman, with Rasmus Hardiker, Harry Treadaway, and Michelle Ryan giving some memorable performances as well.

Focused in telling an unorthodox story amidst a zombie outbreak, the filmmakers of Cockneys vs Zombies allow themselves to proceed unbridled into the zombie apocalypse, spinning a tale that truly takes us to some uncharted waters in the genre. The decision to showcase the elderly point of view of a zombie uprising was a great one and I enjoyed all of the scenes that took place inside of the retirement home. Toppled with its persistence to show off the gore and zombie goodness, I'd have to say that Cockneys vs Zombies is a solid zombie comedy effort. One that takes its own path and shows us a different side of the apocalypse. Perhaps lost in a sea of zombie overload, this underrated flick has been sorely overlooked, but I strongly believe if you give it a chance, you're going to love it. It may not be everyone's cup of tea, because of its over the top approach and wild nature, but for me Cockneys vs Zombies is.....


Lesson 1: Don't kiss a zombie!

Pull my finger bro.

Looks like someone is getting ready to eat.

Say cheese moron!

I can't believe we all wore the same outfit to the costume party!

Money, Money, Money, Money....... MONEY!

How about a little off the top?

This is what happened to the last person that called her Pussy.

It's just a flesh wound! Come on you pansy!

Well there goes the neighborhood.

You stupid bastard... your heads on backwards!

I think I just pooped my grandma panties.

It's the chase scene of the decade! So intense!

He's got a heart condition you bastards!

Looks like the footballers are out in spirit.

Now that is one badass chick!

Shit! The Scanners are here!

What a lovely family picture.