VIDEO REVIEW: Danger! Death Ray

i SPY EUROSPY: Top Secret

Top Secret
Director: Fernando Cerchio
Year 1967
 
Top Secret is a remarkably fun Eurospy film that features super spy Gordon Scott mixing it up with a slew of gorgeous women, one of them being a secret agent herself who turns out to be quite a match for the debonair spy. The twists and turns are frantic, and the playful competition between the two spies makes the film a very entertaining and surprising ride. With two super spies in one movie, how could you go wrong?
 
The movie sets the stage when a man escapes from a Russian prison and then from a United States embassy, taking with him some very important top secret information from both sides. With tensions between the United States and Russia at a fevered pitch, each nation assigns a secret agent to the job of hunting down the man and retrieving the secrets that he might let spill out to their respective enemies. The Americans send the suave agent John Sutton to solve the case, while the Russians send their own secret weapon. Sandra Dubois. She’s a sexy femme fatale that just so happens to be Sutton’s one and only weakness. Will John Sutton be able to fight temptation and stick to the case at hand, or will he let his attraction to the opposite sex get the better of him in this wacky spy entry? What follows is a series of fun filled events that have both John Sutton and Sandra Dubois tracking the globe in search of the man behind this diabolical plot, while double crossing each other every step of the way.

Gordon Scott plays the role of John Sutton, the charismatic agent that can get out of any situation no matter how impossible. Scott provides the much needed cocky persona and physical build to pull off Agent Sutton and along with these two traits, he also adds a good deal of comedic moments to his character. Having only appeared in one other Eurospy film, Danger! Death Ray, Scott isn’t as much of a veteran actor of the sub genre of spy films as his other secret agent counterparts, but you wouldn’t know if from his performances. In each film he brings a solid and entertaining character to life, one that is both competent with the athleticism that is required for the role plus he’s also able to balance that with delivering an equally charismatic and engaging agent. Without a doubt, if he would have continued acting in films after Top Secret, he would have made some damn fine Eurospy flicks because the man really owned the genre for the short time he participated in it.
 
Last but definitely not least, of this double-decker secret agent sandwich, is Magda Konopka, who plays the sexy and vivacious Sandra Dubois. It’s refreshing to see a female character in these types of flicks, which can keep up with the male protagonist in everything that they do, plus look damn good in the process. Magda gives her Russian spy a thoughtful and intelligent disposition, always seeming to come out on top and thwart the opposition at every turn. What is also interesting about her role is that we aren’t really sure whose side she is on throughout the movie. We are never really clear on whom she is working for or if she is in cahoots with the bad guys. This uncertainty gives her character an extra jolt, one that sparks across the screen every time she comes on. In reality she doesn’t need that extra spark because Magda Konopka is just gorgeous, with a natural beauty that is absolutely stunning to witness. She belongs in this kind of genre and her role in this film is so essential in bringing about something new in the Eurospy world. The playful spy games that Agent Dubois and Agent Sutton play with each other is what makes this film so much damn fun.

Speaking of espionage games, there are tons of it. Gordon Scott’s Sutton character seems to get the worst of these playful tussles, always ending up covered in suet or disheveled beyond belief. It’s actually rather comical to see what appears to be a leading man in a spy film, being run through the mud and beaten at every turn by a sneaky femme fatale who seems determined to steal this film right out from under him. It’s a concept that hasn’t really been explored in a Eurospy film before, aside from maybe Dick Smart 2.007, but this film handles this undiscovered frontier in expertise fashion. Scott and Konopka are wonderful together and they match each other in both looks and physical abilities. The chemistry is perfect between the two and you can see why they were both chosen for their separate roles.

The tug of war between the two stars is what makes this film so memorable and unique. There are often times in the movie where you are wondering just who is the real main character of the piece. Both actors are given an equal amount of screen time, with possibly Scott receiving an extra bit of attention. Be that as it may, both actors are prominently featured and the interactions between the two make for a confusing, yet highly enjoyable spy filled ride. I absolutely loved the concept of the dueling spies and the fact that both actors looked so damn good in their roles was an added bonus. How these two accomplished actors never found themselves back in the genre of Eurospy is beyond me, but I’m glad that they were able to exist in this underappreciated film for just this short enjoyable moment in time.

Top Secret is a film that rejects the formula of the genre just enough, that it forges a new path that sets it apart from the rest of the pack. With two agents battling over supremacy of who the true star of the film is, it makes for an interesting premise and sets up some wildly entertaining moments. Both Gordon Scott and Magda Konopka are wonderful in their roles with each looking picture perfect as the dueling secret agents.

 

It’s hard to stand out in this genre, but Top Secret really does break the mold a bit in quite a few departments. With a solid story and engaging acting, I put this one high up on the list of enjoyable Eurospy flicks. You should really give it a chance and check it out, even if it is just to see two fine actors dip their feet into the Eurospy pond. Top Secret is…..

The name's John Sutton, now prepare to die.

I like Superman.

I'd like to order the breast... I mean CHICKEN BREAST!

The name's Sandra Dubois, now prepare to die.

Oh no! She's using the puppy dog face! Sex is inevitable!

Gordon Scott you old smoothy you.

Shhhhh. I'm spying on naked chicks.

That shovel is for digging me a new rose garden mister.
Not for you to go on a mad killing spree.

Chim Chimney... Chim Chimney... Chim Chim Cher-oo!

Mister... you make one ugly nun!

Sutton! Get off your ass and get back to work!

Gordon Scott gets a kick out of reading fan mail.

Try getting out of this situation Houdini.

Well zippity do dah! The gangs all here.

Not the best place to park, but who am I to judge.

Rest honey. It appears that your sexiness has tuckered you out.

Thumbs up if you think this film rocked.

So can we have sex? You bet your ass we can!



i Spy Eurospy: Danger!! Death Ray

Danger!! Death Ray
Director: Gianfranco Baldanello
Year 1967

Danger!! Death Ray is a Eurospy film that is as wacky as its title. The movie stars Gordon Scott as secret agent Bart Fargo, what a name, a wily and smooth talking spy that must hunt down a diabolical organization that has just abducted the creator of a powerful new weapon that's able to penetrate any object in its path causing mass destruction. Diabolical! Can Bart Fargo retrieve the kidnapped scientist before it's too late, or is the world doomed? Find out in Danger!! Death Ray!

Gordon you little rapscallion. That's a perfect Bond pose.

Take your clothes off or I'll pump you full of lead.

To start things off, I just have to say that this movie was way more fun then it had any right to be. While not one of the best examples of Eurospy films, Danger!! Death Ray is without a doubt one of the most entertaining of the bunch. Gordon Scott as the ridiculously named secret agent Bart Fargo, is one hell of a hoot. This guy effortlessly takes down the bad guys and looks like he's having a blast doing it. Even when you think his cocky demeanor might get the best of him, he comes out on top sporting a shit eating grin for all the world to see.

In fact I would say that the one thing holding this film all together would be the actor behind Bart Fargo. Gordon Scott brings so much flavor and fun to the role that it infects the whole production of the film. The sets were nothing to phone home about, the miniature work was laughable, and the acting was anything but outstanding from the rest of the cast, but all of that stuff doesn't matter because the charm and wit of Fargo's character lifts up the film from falling into forgotten territory. Scott's enthusiasm is just outstanding and frankly I couldn't get enough of his crazy antics.

I spy Gordon Scott looking FABULOUS!

Level with me. Can I get a matted frame of just the breasts?

Like true Eurospy and Bond fashion, Bart has his fair share of ladies, but none really stand out from the bunch as classic femme fatales. There more treated like extras in the cast. They come and go, but don't really leave a lasting impression on the audience. That's not to say that they have nothing to do. We've got a double crossing chick, played by Silvia Solar, who lures Fargo out on a speed boat, only to jump ship just as her colleges proceed to blow the piss out of the doomed vessel, an innocent young lady named Lucille, in the form of one time actress Maureen Delphy, who helps Fargo out by slipping into her birthday suit in front of his pursuers to divert their attention, and even a nice homage to James Bond's Moneypenny in the form of Miss Roberta. All in all, the female cast is effective, but they just don't seem to have that lasting appeal that most Eurobabes and Bond girls possess. It also doesn't help that they're upstaged by Fargo at every turn, that sly son of a bitch.

So what do you think of the size of my Death Ray?

Say goodnight you knuckle-heads.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, the villains give a good go at being diabolical by leaving a rather large body count in their wake. In the opening moments of the film, we're witness to a scientist's kidnapping that literally claims the lives of twenty or so police officers as they try in vein to stop the nerd-nappers. One particular evil henchmen named Frank, played by the diverse Nello Pazzafini, sports some sweet black framed glasses and proceeds to leave no stone unturned as he takes out a few of his fellow underlings, mowing them down with a sub machine gun one by one so they don't talk to the fuzz. Now that's just mean. He also puts up one hell of an entertaining fight against Bart Fargo during the end of the film, sans buddy holly spectacles.

Though the character of Frank takes care of most of the dirty work, the main villain of the piece is a man by the name of Carver, performed by Alberto Dalbes. He's more of a hands off kind of guy, resorting to some rather entertaining moments of peril for good old Bart Fargo. Locked within his secret laboratory, Carver controls a series of hidden spy cams that are placed in various locations throughout his expansive and elaborate mansion. Each camera is mounted with a machine gun, eager to greet any unexpected visitor with a belly full of lead. This sweet set up is a perfect example of Carver's laziness, for all he has to do is watch the monitors and push a button when Bart comes onto the screen, hopefully tearing a few holes in the do-gooder spy. Of course, he never is able to take out the resilient agent and instead ends up screwing the pooch when the time comes. Carver you knuckle-head.  

If you can take your old man down, we'll go out and get burgers. 

Say hello to my little friend.

Speaking of knuckle-heads, the special effects crew must have been quite a bunch because some of the effects work looks like something straight out of a kids toy box. There's some hilarious moments in this film, like when Bart Fargo crashes his sweet cherry red car into the ocean after chasing a pair of henchmen through a narrow and winding road. The final shot looks like someone pushed a matchbox car into a bathtub full of water, really I'm not joking. Another scene depicts a submarine with the same care to detail. While the resulting shot looks anything but realistic, I appreciated the effort and got quite a good kick out of seeing the stark difference between model work and the real thing. In the end it actually adds to the fun and enjoyment of this silly but highly entertaining film.

Lastly, I must talk about the most enjoyable part of this film. It's the swinging and ridiculously upbeat theme song that repeats over and over throughout the film. This tune will get stuck in your head like no other song has before and man is it a catchy tune. Badupadupadada! Now that's a hit.

Awesome! Danger!! Death Ray the video game!

It's not the size of your Death Ray... it's how you use it!

Danger!! Death Ray is not the best Eurospy to ever come out in this explosive time period for the genre, but what it lacks in production value and supporting characters, it more then makes up for it with one of the most enjoyable and fun secret agents, Bart Fargo. With a name like that, how can he not be fun? The charisma that Gordon Scott brings to the role is infectious and even smoothes over some of the more rough edges of the film. If you're looking for a good time, then look no further then Danger!! Death Ray. Also check out the Mystery Science Theater 3000 edition. It's just as hilarious and entertaining as the original film.

4 out of 5 guns        A Badupadupadada Good Time!