Wife, pugs, and back fat are the three things I've acquired in spades over the last year or so. The first I had some control over, after surviving four years of dating, my wife decided I was worth it. In poker terms she was "pot committed," and was not folding her 2-7, no matter what. The latter two however caught me off guard.
Pugs. For those who aren't familiar with the Pug breed, picture a beagle then imagine taking a shovel to its face and inserting a snoring machine and an inability to comprehend potty training. Nicole was baby hungry, I was not. The logical compromise was a pug. Pug solved baby hunger for about 10 mins, Nicole becomes hungrier, I buy another Pug. Now wife is pregnant and I have two pugs.
Back fat is a bit trickier. You don't know it's there until it's too late. I used to pity those guys who were victim to massive weight gain after marriage. Now I wear a tshirt when I shower. Since Nicole is pregnant, I blame my weight gain on sympathy pounds. Are there any men out there who have conquered back fat?