"sMuT iS jUsT poRN, iT's NOt inTElLecTuALly stIMulATiNg nOr dOeS iT hAVe tRuE suBStAnCe blah blah blah" Well TODAY, I learned what docking is, so you "sMuT iS jUsT poRN, iT's NOt inTElLecTuALly stIMulATiNg nOr dOeS iT hAVe tRuE suBStAnCe blah blah blah" Well TODAY, I learned what docking is, so you can go fuck yourself (the vanilla way, you square). Just cause it's porn doesn't mean you can't LEARN somethin'. Alexa, play A Whole New World on max volume.
If you think I DIDN'T google it immediately to get a visual on what the fuck I just read (and to make sure it's physically possible), GUESS AGAIN, BITCH AHAHAHAH
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If nothing else, I did it so you don't have to. You're welcome.
OKAY FINE, we like Tristan. Love him, actually. Fuckin' adorable ass psycho. AND WHO BETTER to be paired with this emotionally stunted jack-of-trades-you've-never-even-heard-of (WHY DOES HE KNOW THAT THE POSSUM IS AMERICA'S ONLY NATIVE MARSUPIAL LOL) than an even more emotionally stunted scarily large and scarily hot mute mechanic whose maladaptive coping mechanisms seem to match his JUST RIGHT!?
Lord have mercy, the way in which a "Your crazy matches my crazy, let's be crazy together" plotline gets me off is fucking unreal. Signed with my blood, Sealed with my tongue, and Delivered straight to the little folder marked "NOT PORN" in my brain that hides all my weird quirks and kinks.
AND AS IF ERIN RUSSELL WASN'T ALREADY SPEAKING MY KINK-LANGUAGE, we're gonna throw in emergency med references left and right!? Hi, my name is Sarah, BSN, RN and THIS IS MY SHIT. Every reference to trauma-induced compartmentalization, constant dehydration, and THE FUCKING BANE OF MY EXISTENCE THAT IS HYDROGEN PEROXIDE spoke straight to my fucking soul. Erin...lovebug...my sibling in Christ - if there's a hill you chose to die on in this book, I was right there with you, babe. Blood in, blood out.
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Maybe will come back to write a legit non-word-vomit review, but until then I hope you enjoyed the ravings of a mad woman. Til next time, sluts.
✧While I received a free e-arc from GRR, all thoughts are my own (clearly lol).✧...more