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Horrorstör
Goodreads Choice Award
Nominee for Readers' Favorite Horror (2014)Something strange is happening at the Orsk furniture superstore in Cleveland, Ohio. Every morning, employees arrive to find broken Kjerring bookshelves, shattered Glans water goblets, and smashed Liripip wardrobes. Sales are down, security cameras reveal nothing, and store managers are panicking.
To unravel the mystery, three employees volunteer to work a nine-hour dusk-till-dawn shift. In the dead of the night, they’ll patrol the empty showroom floor, investigate strange sights and sounds, and encounter horrors that defy the imagination.
A traditional haunted house story in a thoroughly contemporary setting, Horrorstör is designed to retain its luster and natural appearance for a lifetime of use. Pleasingly proportioned with generous French flaps and a softcover binding, Horrorstör delivers the psychological terror you need in the elegant package you deserve.
Designed by Andie Reid, cover photography by Christine Ferrara.
To unravel the mystery, three employees volunteer to work a nine-hour dusk-till-dawn shift. In the dead of the night, they’ll patrol the empty showroom floor, investigate strange sights and sounds, and encounter horrors that defy the imagination.
A traditional haunted house story in a thoroughly contemporary setting, Horrorstör is designed to retain its luster and natural appearance for a lifetime of use. Pleasingly proportioned with generous French flaps and a softcover binding, Horrorstör delivers the psychological terror you need in the elegant package you deserve.
Designed by Andie Reid, cover photography by Christine Ferrara.
248 pages, Paperback
First published September 23, 2014
About the author
Grady Hendrix
61 books29k followersGrady Hendrix is the author of the novels Horrorstör, about a haunted IKEA, and My Best Friend's Exorcism, which is like Beaches meets The Exorcist, only it's set in the Eighties. He's also the author of We Sold Our Souls, The Southern Book Club's Guide to Slaying Vampires, and the upcoming (July 13!) Final Girl Support Group!
He's also the jerk behind the Stoker award-winning Paperbacks from Hell, a history of the 70's and 80's horror paperback boom, which contains more information about Nazi leprechauns, killer babies, and evil cats than you probably need.
And he's the screenwriter behind Mohawk, which is probably the only horror movie about the War of 1812 and Satanic Panic.
You can listen to free, amazing, and did I mention free podcasts of his fiction on Pseudopod. He also does a podcast called Super Scary Haunted Homeschool.
If you're not already sick of him, you can learn all his secrets at his website.
He's also the jerk behind the Stoker award-winning Paperbacks from Hell, a history of the 70's and 80's horror paperback boom, which contains more information about Nazi leprechauns, killer babies, and evil cats than you probably need.
And he's the screenwriter behind Mohawk, which is probably the only horror movie about the War of 1812 and Satanic Panic.
You can listen to free, amazing, and did I mention free podcasts of his fiction on Pseudopod. He also does a podcast called Super Scary Haunted Homeschool.
If you're not already sick of him, you can learn all his secrets at his website.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 16,791 reviews
October 31, 2020
this book is a hoot. it gets five stars for concept and design, and a solid 3.75 for execution. i didn't realize when i started this book that the author was guy who wrote yeti vs. bear in Tall Tales with Short Cocks Vol. 4, which was one of the funnier stories in that collection, and has one of the best opening scenes in the broader collection of "stories ever written."
this book is set up like an IKEA catalog, and walks that line between humor and horror without ever putting a ring on either one.
the audience that will get the most out of this is anyone who has ever worked for a significant period of time in a retail environment. not you retail dilettantes who worked a summer job at a bookstore after college before you went off to your lucrative careers in whatever it is people have lucrative careers in nowadays. i'm talking to you people who have been in the trenches. who have been beaten down by the atrocious behavior of customers, the inane made-up terminology in handbooks and orientations, and the complete disconnect between the corporate ideals and the reality of the sales floor. those of you who have smiled through verbal abuse, been used as pawns to test new company directives you knew were destined to fail, been called a "nazi" when relaying policies you had no hand in creating, been victims of ever-decreasing perks as the mucky-mucks cut your hours and benefits from the plush safety of their private jets. who were told you were part of a family, and then forced to sit at the kiddie table with juice boxes and pbj. told that you were important but that loyalty means taking one for the team sometimes for the good of the company. told that Your brand connection is weak, your presentation leaves a lot to be desired, your attitude is aggressive and confrontational and not at all consistent with Core Values. this one's for you, my beleaguered brethren.
this all takes place at orsk, a beige box store IKEA wanna-be whose headquarters are in milwaukee but adopt the faux-european elegance of their competitor:
Over on the wall was a large banner that read: "The hard work makes Orsk a family, and the hard work is free." the completely fake, slightly stilted Euro-phrasing was part of Orsk's fake Ikea act, and Amy couldn't decide if it was slightly annoying or totally offensive. In her opinion, nothing was worse than a store that pretended to be something it was not.
amy is like many poor souls in retail jobs - complacent and unambitious, going through the motions, struggling with student loans, both resenting and needing the work.
The more Amy struggled, the faster she sank. Every month she shuffled around less and less money to cover the same number of bills. The hamster wheel kept spinning and spinning. Sometimes she wanted to let go and find out exactly how far she'd fall if she just stopped fighting. She didn't expect life to be fair, but did it have to be so relentless?
she hates the job, the customers, her younger-than-her boss basil and his commitment to babbling corporatespeak, her hipster co-workers, and the sameness of her days. she's all set to transfer to a different branch to escape some of the irritants when basil offers her a deal: he will approve her transfer and give her 200 dollars cash if she works an overnight shift with both him and another worker: relentlessly upbeat team player/cashier ruth anne. it is to be a very special shift, designed to catch in the act whomever is responsible for a number of incidents of vandalism occurring inside the store. and while it might sound a little inappropriate to invite two female workers to spend the night in the store; workers who are completely unqualified for any sort of security task force, it is all innocently-intended. all the strapping young men were unavailable, and there is an inspection in the morning that needs to go off without a hitch, so time is of the essence. the cash is too tempting to turn down, so amy agrees to spend the night in the dark and spooky store with people who annoy her.
she knew it was going to suck, but she didn't know it was gonna get bloody.
because the orsk store isn't the only building to ever stand on this spot, and tonight the past is coming back with a vengeance, and if you thought retail was torture, you ain't seen nothing yet.
the book is great fun, with fantastic attention to detail as the catalog items introducing each chapter get more and more sinister as the book progresses, and the allusions become darker as what arises out of the "retail hypnosis" maze of the store unleashes its judgments. it's a clever spin on the haunted house story, a parody of consumer culture, and it pokes fun at teevee ghost hunters, hipsters with daddy's credit cards, and companies whose products are sold in shades of "flamingo" and "beaver oak."
if nothing else, it's a lot of fun to hold.
now, please enjoy these retail-themed gifs:
October 28, 2021
the real horror was working in retail all along
October 27, 2018
Horrostör is one of those books that’s just “fine.” It wasn’t bad. It wasn’t spectacular. It was just fine.
CW: death, ghosts, floods (idk other spooky stuff)
I love the concept of this book. It is so unique – I’ve never read a book like it and believe I’m unlikely to stumble upon another. I feel it’s pretty much what you would expect from a novel pitched as a horror parody of IKEA. I’m a hoe for that Swedish furniture store and the story fed my home décor-loving heart.
I listened to the audiobook version which was also fine. The narrators did a good job, and I appreciated the distinction between the main character's POV and the item descriptions from ORSK. When listening to the audiobook, you do miss the visual diagram of each item which plays a role in the story, but a quick flip through the physical book gave me the info I needed. I particularly liked how the catalogue portions of the book actually felt like I was listening to a radio commercial as opposed to just another paragraph from the narrator.
I enjoyed the characters well enough. There’s a fairly eclectic, diverse main cast that was actually given more development than I expected for a story such as this. I enjoyed getting to understand the backgrounds of the characters and how that fuels their motivations. I wouldn’t consider myself attached to any of them, but the main cast propelled the story in a positive way.
One element I felt was promised to me yet lacking was the humor? Horrostör is often referred to as a “comedy horror” novel, yet I can’t recall laughing even once? It’s not that the book is a drag or uninteresting, I just didn’t find it all that humorous.
As for the horror aspect, I would also deem it “fine.” It was entertaining, but I feel it bordered more on “strange” than “scary.” Paranormal horror can be a hit or miss with me personally and I didn’t fully connect with it. It was unique and interesting, but I didn’t feel terrified or scared at all. It was more intrigue than fear and for that reason, it almost fell a little flat for me.
I don’t have a ton to say about Horrostör. It just wasn’t a very substantial read for me. I’m not at all sorry I read it, I just don’t feel very impressed. I am definitely interested in reading from Grady Hendrix in the future, though! My Best Friend’s Exorcism is still for sure on my to-read list.
CW: death, ghosts, floods (idk other spooky stuff)
I love the concept of this book. It is so unique – I’ve never read a book like it and believe I’m unlikely to stumble upon another. I feel it’s pretty much what you would expect from a novel pitched as a horror parody of IKEA. I’m a hoe for that Swedish furniture store and the story fed my home décor-loving heart.
I listened to the audiobook version which was also fine. The narrators did a good job, and I appreciated the distinction between the main character's POV and the item descriptions from ORSK. When listening to the audiobook, you do miss the visual diagram of each item which plays a role in the story, but a quick flip through the physical book gave me the info I needed. I particularly liked how the catalogue portions of the book actually felt like I was listening to a radio commercial as opposed to just another paragraph from the narrator.
I enjoyed the characters well enough. There’s a fairly eclectic, diverse main cast that was actually given more development than I expected for a story such as this. I enjoyed getting to understand the backgrounds of the characters and how that fuels their motivations. I wouldn’t consider myself attached to any of them, but the main cast propelled the story in a positive way.
One element I felt was promised to me yet lacking was the humor? Horrostör is often referred to as a “comedy horror” novel, yet I can’t recall laughing even once? It’s not that the book is a drag or uninteresting, I just didn’t find it all that humorous.
As for the horror aspect, I would also deem it “fine.” It was entertaining, but I feel it bordered more on “strange” than “scary.” Paranormal horror can be a hit or miss with me personally and I didn’t fully connect with it. It was unique and interesting, but I didn’t feel terrified or scared at all. It was more intrigue than fear and for that reason, it almost fell a little flat for me.
I don’t have a ton to say about Horrostör. It just wasn’t a very substantial read for me. I’m not at all sorry I read it, I just don’t feel very impressed. I am definitely interested in reading from Grady Hendrix in the future, though! My Best Friend’s Exorcism is still for sure on my to-read list.
January 4, 2025
**4.5-stars rounded up**
I was so excited when my friend, Shannon, and I made a spur of the moment decision to Buddy Read, Horrorstor.
Love that for us.
I have owned a copy of this since it was first released and have heard such great things in the years since. I would often stop, pick it up, flip through the pages and consider reading it, but for some reason never did.
The whole package of the book is hella unique. Made to resemble an IKEA catalog, each chapter begins with a picture of a specific piece of home decor and an oft humorous description.
It's a really special book in regards to creativity and for that reason alone, I would recommend people give it a shot to see what it's all about.
Moving on from the engaging format, I was so pleased with the actual story!
Amy has been working at Orsk for a while, but seems to be stuck in a rut. The tasks are monotonous and as days pass, it's honestly sucking the life out of her.
Additionally, her manager, Basil, always seems to be on her case. She just needs him to get off her back, and let her do her thing, her way.
When mysterious occurrences begin happening around the store, including damage to some of the product, the management has reason to suspect someone is getting in after hours.
Basil approaches Amy and another employee, Ruth Ann, and asks them to work a dusk-til-dawn shift with him to hopefully catch the vandal. Important people from corporate are arriving the very next morning and he wants to have a handle on the situation prior to their arrival.
The two women begrudgingly agree and return to the store at the designated hour. Their plan is to patrol the showroom floor, every hour, over the course of the night to see if they can solve the mystery.
On their first walk through the eerie, fun-house scary showroom, with designated areas per room type, Amy and Ruth Ann stumble upon an unexpected surprise in Bedrooms.
Two fellow employees, Trinity and Matt, have let themselves into the store unannounced to shoot footage for their prospective ghost hunting show.
They know of the mysterious happenings at Orsk and think supernatural forces may be at work.
The rest of the narrative follows these five employees, locked in the deserted super store for the night, as they discover the true root of the problem. And it is a serious problem indeed.
I absolutely loved the set-up. The brain-draining corporate retail environment was spectacular. The satire perfectly played.
I thought all of the characters were well done. Even though they seem one dimensional to start, over the course of their time together, you learn much more about each of them. I personally began to feel quite attached.
The humor was also spot on for me. The satirical nature of the entire story, plus the witty banter between the characters, made this an absolute delight from beginning to end.
Added on to all of the great things mentioned above, the horror elements were great. There were some yucky moments, cringe-worthy moments and creepy moments.
It really offered a lot. I felt like the conclusion was a little rushed, but other than that one small thing, fantastic!
This is definitely Horror Comedy though, so if that is not your jam, you may want to steer clear.
This was my first Hendrix book and it seems like a solid place to start. I am glad to have buddy read this because it was fun to have someone to discuss it with while actually reading. I think it added to the overall experience.
I certainly will be picking up more books by Grady Hendrix in the future!
I was so excited when my friend, Shannon, and I made a spur of the moment decision to Buddy Read, Horrorstor.
Love that for us.
I have owned a copy of this since it was first released and have heard such great things in the years since. I would often stop, pick it up, flip through the pages and consider reading it, but for some reason never did.
The whole package of the book is hella unique. Made to resemble an IKEA catalog, each chapter begins with a picture of a specific piece of home decor and an oft humorous description.
It's a really special book in regards to creativity and for that reason alone, I would recommend people give it a shot to see what it's all about.
Moving on from the engaging format, I was so pleased with the actual story!
Amy has been working at Orsk for a while, but seems to be stuck in a rut. The tasks are monotonous and as days pass, it's honestly sucking the life out of her.
Additionally, her manager, Basil, always seems to be on her case. She just needs him to get off her back, and let her do her thing, her way.
When mysterious occurrences begin happening around the store, including damage to some of the product, the management has reason to suspect someone is getting in after hours.
Basil approaches Amy and another employee, Ruth Ann, and asks them to work a dusk-til-dawn shift with him to hopefully catch the vandal. Important people from corporate are arriving the very next morning and he wants to have a handle on the situation prior to their arrival.
The two women begrudgingly agree and return to the store at the designated hour. Their plan is to patrol the showroom floor, every hour, over the course of the night to see if they can solve the mystery.
On their first walk through the eerie, fun-house scary showroom, with designated areas per room type, Amy and Ruth Ann stumble upon an unexpected surprise in Bedrooms.
Two fellow employees, Trinity and Matt, have let themselves into the store unannounced to shoot footage for their prospective ghost hunting show.
They know of the mysterious happenings at Orsk and think supernatural forces may be at work.
The rest of the narrative follows these five employees, locked in the deserted super store for the night, as they discover the true root of the problem. And it is a serious problem indeed.
I absolutely loved the set-up. The brain-draining corporate retail environment was spectacular. The satire perfectly played.
I thought all of the characters were well done. Even though they seem one dimensional to start, over the course of their time together, you learn much more about each of them. I personally began to feel quite attached.
The humor was also spot on for me. The satirical nature of the entire story, plus the witty banter between the characters, made this an absolute delight from beginning to end.
Added on to all of the great things mentioned above, the horror elements were great. There were some yucky moments, cringe-worthy moments and creepy moments.
It really offered a lot. I felt like the conclusion was a little rushed, but other than that one small thing, fantastic!
This is definitely Horror Comedy though, so if that is not your jam, you may want to steer clear.
This was my first Hendrix book and it seems like a solid place to start. I am glad to have buddy read this because it was fun to have someone to discuss it with while actually reading. I think it added to the overall experience.
I certainly will be picking up more books by Grady Hendrix in the future!
September 22, 2019
4 CREEPY STARS!
You can find the full review and more about this book on my blog!
First of all,as always,I want to talk about the cover,the design of the physical book in general.I must say this is the most unique book I have ever seen.The pictures inside,the front and the back cover,the maps and the furniture,they are all perfectly made and they raised the book's awesomeness.So greatly done:)
Horrorstör is a dark horror creepy novel with suspense and hell of scary moments.I warn you,if you are not used to horror,or don't like the genre,that you should consider again reading this book,because it might give you nightmares.
The first half of the book was great,a little slow,but still good,and you are introduced to the characters,which to be honest,are some of the most natural and real characters I have ever read about.They seemed to me so random,yet so unique.You happen to meet Amy,a girl who is not really happy with her job,she works at Orsk,which is a furniture shop.There also is a hipster with the beard,Matt.Basil,the boss who is always complaining.So you get the idea.
After the first part,everything changes,the sense of humor vanishes,the novel gets darker and darker,and that's where the scary begins.And I am not talking about the fluffy scary,but as creepy nightmary scary.
I am amazed with the author's writing style.It matches the design of the book.The plot is awesome and relatable ,and the ending rocks.This would be a great awesome scary movie.
I highly recommend this book to every horror reader out there.If this doesn't scare you out,then I don't know what will.
*Pictures from the review are not mine, I took them mostly from Google images or Tumblr*
October 17, 2024
This is the story of a haunted knock-off IKEA.
And really, if you've worked in retail at any point in your life, you've already been to Hell.
The sorts of things people do, the way they act, and the messes they leave for someone else to clean up when they enter stores are really a sight to behold. Dante himself couldn't have come up with a better punishment for past sins than having to deal with the general public on a daily basis for peasant wages.
I can't imagine a horde of demons coming up with a torture worse than having to remain calm and polite while a customer belittles you and complains about a policy that you didn't make, the lack of something in stock you don't have the ability to order, or the fact you are understaffed and unable to take care of them in what they feel is a timely manner.
Much like some countries that require each citizen to do a stint in their army, I feel that everyone should have to do a tour of duty as a retail worker.
So our heroine, Amy, shockingly isn't all that thrilled to be at work on the morning our story takes place.
But she does need that paycheck. Like most people, she's treading water financially in an effort to try to find a dream that will let her follow it. And even the dreamless need to pay their roommates their part of the rent. Life has not worked out for Amy and while she flounders, she needs this job more than air.
To make her day worse, she's stuck with Basil, the overly Orsk-happy manager she's convinced is trying to fire her.
In the morning, the automated doors don't want to work, and as the day wears on more and more strange things keep cropping up which leads Basil to think there is someone hiding inside the building at night causing mischief.
His plan is to spend the night in the building with a strategic strike team that will be ready to catch these neer-do-wells in the act! But since he doesn't have access to any professionals, he's willing to go in with two of his employees, Amy and Ruth Anne. Neither of them is at all qualified to do anything other than point and scream if they were to run across someone messing up the store in the middle of the night.
Of course, things quickly slide completely sideways.
Because this is after all a horror comedy.
And by the end of the night, neither Basil nor Amy will ever be the same.
At this point, I've read a lot of Hendrix's books and I can say without a doubt that this one is my favorite.
Highly Recommended!
And really, if you've worked in retail at any point in your life, you've already been to Hell.
The sorts of things people do, the way they act, and the messes they leave for someone else to clean up when they enter stores are really a sight to behold. Dante himself couldn't have come up with a better punishment for past sins than having to deal with the general public on a daily basis for peasant wages.
I can't imagine a horde of demons coming up with a torture worse than having to remain calm and polite while a customer belittles you and complains about a policy that you didn't make, the lack of something in stock you don't have the ability to order, or the fact you are understaffed and unable to take care of them in what they feel is a timely manner.
Much like some countries that require each citizen to do a stint in their army, I feel that everyone should have to do a tour of duty as a retail worker.
So our heroine, Amy, shockingly isn't all that thrilled to be at work on the morning our story takes place.
But she does need that paycheck. Like most people, she's treading water financially in an effort to try to find a dream that will let her follow it. And even the dreamless need to pay their roommates their part of the rent. Life has not worked out for Amy and while she flounders, she needs this job more than air.
To make her day worse, she's stuck with Basil, the overly Orsk-happy manager she's convinced is trying to fire her.
In the morning, the automated doors don't want to work, and as the day wears on more and more strange things keep cropping up which leads Basil to think there is someone hiding inside the building at night causing mischief.
His plan is to spend the night in the building with a strategic strike team that will be ready to catch these neer-do-wells in the act! But since he doesn't have access to any professionals, he's willing to go in with two of his employees, Amy and Ruth Anne. Neither of them is at all qualified to do anything other than point and scream if they were to run across someone messing up the store in the middle of the night.
Of course, things quickly slide completely sideways.
Because this is after all a horror comedy.
And by the end of the night, neither Basil nor Amy will ever be the same.
At this point, I've read a lot of Hendrix's books and I can say without a doubt that this one is my favorite.
Highly Recommended!
December 24, 2015
Absolutely an abysmal reading experience. Incohesive, immature, unfinished.
I'm not sure about why he actually did write it but it felt like he came out of IKEA one day and was like Whoaaaaaa dude it's so totally like a prison in there. And then wrote a nanowrimo about it. Barely 250 pages with large font (though thank god it's not any longer, I couldn't bear to suffer through any more of it), it's a shallow whirlwind through random imagery that doesn't even fit together. Shallow characters. Shallow plot. High school level writing (I can't stress this enough.) Oh haha there's furniture named Balsak and Arsle and Splooge haha you're laughing right isn't that funny?
Elements are brought up that don't ever come back again. For example why bore us with all that talk of paranormal investigation gear if it's never even used? And I will still never be over the fact that randomly Matt had five pairs of handcuffs in his bag (WHY? Author, just say no. Just. Say. No. Convenience does not override logic. YOU ARE LAZY. LAZY. LAZY WRITING.) And then the handcuffs are barely used in any sensical way. Chekhov's Gun, man. If you introduce a narrative element, make it have a REASON. What was the point of all that?
WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THIS WHOLE BOOK? There was no ending and I didn't care either because I just wanted it to be over. It's one of those books that ends in the middle of something to add a dot dot dot fill in the blank with what might happen here who knows!??!? I really I don't care.
This is a book that is packaged better than the contents inside it. And it worked right, I mean it doesn't matter because they got the money I paid at the bookstore. I liked the graphic design and I thought it might be interesting or witty. But let me express to you plainly right now, save your money. Save yourself from this shitty reading experience. Don't be fooled by its gimmicky little set up. It's not funny, it's not a satire, it's not serious. It's just bad. You can watch better D-list direct-to-video horror movies on Netflix and feel better about it. You have better fanfiction sitting unfinished in Mircosoft Word on your computer right now.
So book industry, I'm looking at you. Who let this get published? Whose fault is this? Why are we okay with lazy unfinished writing?
You know what though I'm just going to show you how unfinished it is. Are you ready? If you want to read the book (hopefully you don't, run far away) stop reading but here we go:
The end.
Great.
Fucking great I don't even care if she finds them or if they're dead I hope everyone is dead because I don't want you to ever even think about writing a sequel.
Seriously though what editor was telling him it was okay to end his book there?
This is one of the worst books I've read this year tied with The Snow Child and I'm just mad that I let myself, on both occasions, be fooled by the book design. I think it's going to be a long time before I dare touch the horror genre again.
Horror is not an excuse to just throw nonsensical garbage in the reader's face.
I'm not sure about why he actually did write it but it felt like he came out of IKEA one day and was like Whoaaaaaa dude it's so totally like a prison in there. And then wrote a nanowrimo about it. Barely 250 pages with large font (though thank god it's not any longer, I couldn't bear to suffer through any more of it), it's a shallow whirlwind through random imagery that doesn't even fit together. Shallow characters. Shallow plot. High school level writing (I can't stress this enough.) Oh haha there's furniture named Balsak and Arsle and Splooge haha you're laughing right isn't that funny?
Elements are brought up that don't ever come back again. For example why bore us with all that talk of paranormal investigation gear if it's never even used? And I will still never be over the fact that randomly Matt had five pairs of handcuffs in his bag (WHY? Author, just say no. Just. Say. No. Convenience does not override logic. YOU ARE LAZY. LAZY. LAZY WRITING.) And then the handcuffs are barely used in any sensical way. Chekhov's Gun, man. If you introduce a narrative element, make it have a REASON. What was the point of all that?
WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THIS WHOLE BOOK? There was no ending and I didn't care either because I just wanted it to be over. It's one of those books that ends in the middle of something to add a dot dot dot fill in the blank with what might happen here who knows!??!? I really I don't care.
This is a book that is packaged better than the contents inside it. And it worked right, I mean it doesn't matter because they got the money I paid at the bookstore. I liked the graphic design and I thought it might be interesting or witty. But let me express to you plainly right now, save your money. Save yourself from this shitty reading experience. Don't be fooled by its gimmicky little set up. It's not funny, it's not a satire, it's not serious. It's just bad. You can watch better D-list direct-to-video horror movies on Netflix and feel better about it. You have better fanfiction sitting unfinished in Mircosoft Word on your computer right now.
So book industry, I'm looking at you. Who let this get published? Whose fault is this? Why are we okay with lazy unfinished writing?
You know what though I'm just going to show you how unfinished it is. Are you ready? If you want to read the book (hopefully you don't, run far away) stop reading but here we go:
The end.
Great.
Fucking great I don't even care if she finds them or if they're dead I hope everyone is dead because I don't want you to ever even think about writing a sequel.
Seriously though what editor was telling him it was okay to end his book there?
This is one of the worst books I've read this year tied with The Snow Child and I'm just mad that I let myself, on both occasions, be fooled by the book design. I think it's going to be a long time before I dare touch the horror genre again.
Horror is not an excuse to just throw nonsensical garbage in the reader's face.
October 3, 2014
I worked in retail for ten years, every job from the good (B. Dalton Bookseller), to the bad (Pearle Vision Center), to the really, really ugly (Sear's Outlet - where someone tried to return a used vibrator). The one thing all these jobs had in common? After the customers have gone home and the store is closed and the lights are turned low...it's rather creepy.
One of my favorite retail stories (and I may have told this one before - I'M OLD, so I'M ENTITLED!) is the night when Sue and I were closing the bookstore. You had to turn out the lights at the breaker in the back room, then walk all the way to the front of the store to exit. We were about a quarter of the way to the front when something crashed to the floor behind us. We didn't turn around, just took off running for the door. There is no doubt in my mind that had Sue fallen and couldn't get up, I would not have stopped to help her. And I'm sure she would have left me in her dust as monster chow had I dropped, as well. Two women in their thirties, running like bats outta hell, frightened by a noise.
See what retail does to you?
Poor Amy has become something of a slacker. Forced to drop out of community college, she's been working for retail giant, ORSK. She hates her job, most of her coworkers and especially her supervisor, Basil. But weird things have been happening in the wee hours when the store is closed. Though the security cameras have captured nothing, employees arrive each morning to broken and damaged merchandise. Basil drafts a few "partners" to stay all night and help him catch the vandals. Amy is one of them, and if she thinks her current job is mind-numbing and repetitive, wait until she gets a load of how she may end up spending eternity...
The first half of the book is terrific. The author does a fantastic job of mocking retail culture, motivational slogans and by-the-book managers. Then it takes an abrupt turn, all humor disappears, and the tale becomes a fairly standard horror story. It's almost as if the second half was written by a different author.
So, yes, this is definitely a case of style over substance, but oh, oh, OH! what style! The layout of the book, with its featured products - products that get more and more disturbing as the story advances, mission statements, employee reviews and order forms is DEAD ON. The whole book is clever and innovative...almost like a piece of inexpensive, ready-to-assemble furniture or a store designed to force you to visit EVERY department.
Just don't forget your magic tool.
You'll need it!
One of my favorite retail stories (and I may have told this one before - I'M OLD, so I'M ENTITLED!) is the night when Sue and I were closing the bookstore. You had to turn out the lights at the breaker in the back room, then walk all the way to the front of the store to exit. We were about a quarter of the way to the front when something crashed to the floor behind us. We didn't turn around, just took off running for the door. There is no doubt in my mind that had Sue fallen and couldn't get up, I would not have stopped to help her. And I'm sure she would have left me in her dust as monster chow had I dropped, as well. Two women in their thirties, running like bats outta hell, frightened by a noise.
See what retail does to you?
Poor Amy has become something of a slacker. Forced to drop out of community college, she's been working for retail giant, ORSK. She hates her job, most of her coworkers and especially her supervisor, Basil. But weird things have been happening in the wee hours when the store is closed. Though the security cameras have captured nothing, employees arrive each morning to broken and damaged merchandise. Basil drafts a few "partners" to stay all night and help him catch the vandals. Amy is one of them, and if she thinks her current job is mind-numbing and repetitive, wait until she gets a load of how she may end up spending eternity...
The first half of the book is terrific. The author does a fantastic job of mocking retail culture, motivational slogans and by-the-book managers. Then it takes an abrupt turn, all humor disappears, and the tale becomes a fairly standard horror story. It's almost as if the second half was written by a different author.
So, yes, this is definitely a case of style over substance, but oh, oh, OH! what style! The layout of the book, with its featured products - products that get more and more disturbing as the story advances, mission statements, employee reviews and order forms is DEAD ON. The whole book is clever and innovative...almost like a piece of inexpensive, ready-to-assemble furniture or a store designed to force you to visit EVERY department.
Just don't forget your magic tool.
You'll need it!
September 4, 2024
Original!
I’ve never read anything like it.
A big-box store has discovered it is being violated overnight by squatters. The manager selects a few members of the staff to stay overnight to catch them in the act.
What no one knows, but is about to discover is that the store is haunted.
Five stars. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
I’ve never read anything like it.
A big-box store has discovered it is being violated overnight by squatters. The manager selects a few members of the staff to stay overnight to catch them in the act.
What no one knows, but is about to discover is that the store is haunted.
Five stars. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
July 16, 2019
***AMENDED REVIEW***
I am man enough to admit when I am wrong. As my wife so rightly points out during an argument, it gets easier when you make so many mistakes.
Still, no furniture were hurt during the writing of this review.
For more than a year now, the name Grady Hendrix kept popping up from GR friends, either with a reading, rating, review or recommendation. HORRORSTOR is my virgin dive into the author’s mind. And I will admit, there were a few things I was worried about:
1. I’ve never been in an IKEA, so would I get it?
2. Looking at his profile picture, would I like the humor?
3. Was I expecting too much because everybody raves about him?
Well, let me address each worry seperately:
1. There isn’t an IKEA in the country where I live. Like the town whore, I only know it by reputation from what I’ve heard from others. I use that analogy because I heard that (like the town whore) their merchandise is cheap but of low quality.
* Thanks to my friend Mike, I see that was was completely wrong in my assumption of IKEA merchandise with the things I have heard. We all know know that assumption is the root to all fuck-ups, so there you have it. Instead of changing what I said, I just want to tweak it a little - the analogy will still stand, I believe.
"Town whore" needs to be changed to "high class prostitute" - sadly, I can still use by reputation only.
And the merchandise is not really cheap and of higher quality than you might expect, perhaps even an experience that will last more than 30 seconds. (I'm paraphrasing, of course).
If I have hurt any feelings with my previous statement...well, you need to get a life, actually.
Look, I can’t slam a store I know nothing about. In fact, I think that I might have been a big fan of IKEA – to me, when something is working and doing its job, I really couldn’t care less what it looks like. This is a quality that annoys my wife to no end. Before she bought me a FOSSIL watch as a wedding gift, I used to wear watches that were cheap enough to throw away at the first sign of trouble.
And, to come back to the story, I think Hendrix did a good enough job to inform me of all I needed to know about Orsk.
2. Despite his picture, this guy can write very, very well. It was strange and funny, but without actual jokes...can you even understand what I mean when I say that? Now, I am not educated in English beyond high school, but I read a lot, so I think I’m a little above average with the language. However, there were a few words in there that I had to look up (yes, I’m that kind of geek) – I had no idea what pareidolia or panopticon meant.
And Drittsekk might be my new favorite insult!!
So, yes, don’t judge him by the goofy pic.
3. It was worth every single great review that it got. This was a horror story that took you in and threw you into a maelstrom of madness – it got my heart rate up more than once. Can you think of anything scarier than an asylum with torture devices that would have made the Inquisition jealous? No, I’m not giving too much away, you will still need to take the journey yourself to find out.
Loved the furniture with descriptions at the beginning of each chapter!
I highly recommend it to all horror fans!
I am man enough to admit when I am wrong. As my wife so rightly points out during an argument, it gets easier when you make so many mistakes.
Still, no furniture were hurt during the writing of this review.
For more than a year now, the name Grady Hendrix kept popping up from GR friends, either with a reading, rating, review or recommendation. HORRORSTOR is my virgin dive into the author’s mind. And I will admit, there were a few things I was worried about:
1. I’ve never been in an IKEA, so would I get it?
2. Looking at his profile picture, would I like the humor?
3. Was I expecting too much because everybody raves about him?
Well, let me address each worry seperately:
1. There isn’t an IKEA in the country where I live. Like the town whore, I only know it by reputation from what I’ve heard from others. I use that analogy because I heard that (like the town whore) their merchandise is cheap but of low quality.
* Thanks to my friend Mike, I see that was was completely wrong in my assumption of IKEA merchandise with the things I have heard. We all know know that assumption is the root to all fuck-ups, so there you have it. Instead of changing what I said, I just want to tweak it a little - the analogy will still stand, I believe.
"Town whore" needs to be changed to "high class prostitute" - sadly, I can still use by reputation only.
And the merchandise is not really cheap and of higher quality than you might expect, perhaps even an experience that will last more than 30 seconds. (I'm paraphrasing, of course).
If I have hurt any feelings with my previous statement...well, you need to get a life, actually.
Look, I can’t slam a store I know nothing about. In fact, I think that I might have been a big fan of IKEA – to me, when something is working and doing its job, I really couldn’t care less what it looks like. This is a quality that annoys my wife to no end. Before she bought me a FOSSIL watch as a wedding gift, I used to wear watches that were cheap enough to throw away at the first sign of trouble.
And, to come back to the story, I think Hendrix did a good enough job to inform me of all I needed to know about Orsk.
2. Despite his picture, this guy can write very, very well. It was strange and funny, but without actual jokes...can you even understand what I mean when I say that? Now, I am not educated in English beyond high school, but I read a lot, so I think I’m a little above average with the language. However, there were a few words in there that I had to look up (yes, I’m that kind of geek) – I had no idea what pareidolia or panopticon meant.
And Drittsekk might be my new favorite insult!!
So, yes, don’t judge him by the goofy pic.
3. It was worth every single great review that it got. This was a horror story that took you in and threw you into a maelstrom of madness – it got my heart rate up more than once. Can you think of anything scarier than an asylum with torture devices that would have made the Inquisition jealous? No, I’m not giving too much away, you will still need to take the journey yourself to find out.
Loved the furniture with descriptions at the beginning of each chapter!
I highly recommend it to all horror fans!
April 5, 2023
“Horrorstör” by Grady Hendrix has been a book I’ve been wanting to read for a while. I’ve read a handful of novels by Hendrix and I absolutely love his style of writing, horror, and the hilarious dark humor often found in everything he does. When it comes to Horrorstör, it’s simply put, a good time.
From the awesome graphic illustrations before each chapter and the whole story being around a retail furniture store, this book really hit home with me. I spent over 15 years working in retail electronics (Best Buy) and let me tell you, Hendrix hit the nail right on the head with how everything works behind the scenes. Even with the usual characters you’d find in retail, he did a fantastic job getting everything eerily accurate to what it’s like working in retail and the people/customers you deal with on a daily basis.
I’ve worked countless overnights and let me tell you, sometimes you do get a bit freaked out/chills down your spine when it’s 2:15 AM and you can hear a pin drop in a completely empty and quiet retail store. Especially when you start hearing the usual random noises throughout the night as I loved the authenticity of how Hendrix captured all that. I don’t know if he’s ever worked in retail or asked people that did but my goodness, combining that with all the crazy horror in this book was perfect.
I enjoyed all the characters, especially Amy, as she was totally relatable. I’ve met countless people working in retail and have known co-workers dealing with everything she does which made it feel so authentic. I had a lot of empathy with her and this made me connect with her character and why she did the things that she did.
Hendrix did a great job with lots of little references that made me smile from mentioning Best Buy, Lorraine Warren (I’m a huge fan of The Conjuring series), and capturing the essence of an IKEA store. LoL I’ve only shopped there twice in my life and let me tell you, that place has to be terrifying late at night in complete darkness.
As I kept reading Horrorstör, I truly loved all the solid layers of creepiness and how things got progressively scarier over time. Even the graphic illustrations reflected this and don’t worry, I won’t spoil anything for you but wow, things get wild! There is one horrific moment that was so intense and terrifying, I gladly enjoyed reading it several times because it was that epic.
For the most part, Horrorstör is an entertaining, awesome, and gruesome read. I thought it was a very unique look at what happens when a retail store closes at night and you’re dealt with scary events and situations. The atmospheric horror was brilliant and the only thing I didn’t like was the ending. Again, no spoilers here but I wanted things wrapped up for a perfect read from beginning to end. It left me wanting more as I wish things were settled, closed up, and one way or the other, complete.
I give “Horrorstör” by Grady Hendrix a 4/5 as it was everything I expected going into a novel written by one of the best horror authors out there today. The overall terror, tension, atmospheric horror, characters, and creepy setting in a retail furniture store were all top-notch. The only thing I didn’t like was the ending as I felt it didn’t make sense and wasn’t satisfying after such a crazy fun horror-filled ghost adventure. Either way, this was an awesome book and hit home with me being in a retail setting. I’d recommend this to anyone that loves horror and wants a unique take on what could happen when the lights go out late at night in an empty retail store that’s probably haunted.
From the awesome graphic illustrations before each chapter and the whole story being around a retail furniture store, this book really hit home with me. I spent over 15 years working in retail electronics (Best Buy) and let me tell you, Hendrix hit the nail right on the head with how everything works behind the scenes. Even with the usual characters you’d find in retail, he did a fantastic job getting everything eerily accurate to what it’s like working in retail and the people/customers you deal with on a daily basis.
I’ve worked countless overnights and let me tell you, sometimes you do get a bit freaked out/chills down your spine when it’s 2:15 AM and you can hear a pin drop in a completely empty and quiet retail store. Especially when you start hearing the usual random noises throughout the night as I loved the authenticity of how Hendrix captured all that. I don’t know if he’s ever worked in retail or asked people that did but my goodness, combining that with all the crazy horror in this book was perfect.
I enjoyed all the characters, especially Amy, as she was totally relatable. I’ve met countless people working in retail and have known co-workers dealing with everything she does which made it feel so authentic. I had a lot of empathy with her and this made me connect with her character and why she did the things that she did.
Hendrix did a great job with lots of little references that made me smile from mentioning Best Buy, Lorraine Warren (I’m a huge fan of The Conjuring series), and capturing the essence of an IKEA store. LoL I’ve only shopped there twice in my life and let me tell you, that place has to be terrifying late at night in complete darkness.
As I kept reading Horrorstör, I truly loved all the solid layers of creepiness and how things got progressively scarier over time. Even the graphic illustrations reflected this and don’t worry, I won’t spoil anything for you but wow, things get wild! There is one horrific moment that was so intense and terrifying, I gladly enjoyed reading it several times because it was that epic.
For the most part, Horrorstör is an entertaining, awesome, and gruesome read. I thought it was a very unique look at what happens when a retail store closes at night and you’re dealt with scary events and situations. The atmospheric horror was brilliant and the only thing I didn’t like was the ending. Again, no spoilers here but I wanted things wrapped up for a perfect read from beginning to end. It left me wanting more as I wish things were settled, closed up, and one way or the other, complete.
I give “Horrorstör” by Grady Hendrix a 4/5 as it was everything I expected going into a novel written by one of the best horror authors out there today. The overall terror, tension, atmospheric horror, characters, and creepy setting in a retail furniture store were all top-notch. The only thing I didn’t like was the ending as I felt it didn’t make sense and wasn’t satisfying after such a crazy fun horror-filled ghost adventure. Either way, this was an awesome book and hit home with me being in a retail setting. I’d recommend this to anyone that loves horror and wants a unique take on what could happen when the lights go out late at night in an empty retail store that’s probably haunted.
September 23, 2020
This was söme gööd, silly, hörrör, escapist fun!
If yöu like hörrör, like humör, and dön’t mind them cömbined and are lööking för a quick getaway, then yöu really must try Horrorstör. Part satire making fun öf the big böx, tab-a-intö-slöt-b, retail giants, part creepy supernatural darkness, this is the perfect störy tö escape intö ön a lazy weekend afternöön. Ör, maybe at night by flashlight under the sheets – but that might be töö scary!
I spent the first 15 years öf my wörking life wörking retail, sö all the retail clichés fröm the first part öf the böök hit höme. If yöu have previöusly ör currently wörk in retail, I think yöu will get a huge kick öut öf the setting and the characters öf this böök. Each pölicy, each persön, all öf it is sömething I ran intö during my career in retail. I göt sö freakin’ nöstalgic, I wanted tö cry!
Then cömes tö the supernatural creepiness that makes this a hörrör störy - which I will nöt get intö töö much tö avöid spöilers. Let’s just say that Hendrix döes nöt pull any punches. What starts as a gööfy möckery öf retail, turns intö an equally gruesöme tale öf göre and törture. If yöu read this and then ever find yöurself löst in a big böx störe, yöu might end up ön the flöör in the fetal pösitiön until sömeöne cömes tö guide yöu öut.
I think this böök hölds its öwn with söme öther hörrör störies I have read, and, in the future, I will easily be able tö recömmend it tö my hörrör fan friends.
If yöu like hörrör, like humör, and dön’t mind them cömbined and are lööking för a quick getaway, then yöu really must try Horrorstör. Part satire making fun öf the big böx, tab-a-intö-slöt-b, retail giants, part creepy supernatural darkness, this is the perfect störy tö escape intö ön a lazy weekend afternöön. Ör, maybe at night by flashlight under the sheets – but that might be töö scary!
I spent the first 15 years öf my wörking life wörking retail, sö all the retail clichés fröm the first part öf the böök hit höme. If yöu have previöusly ör currently wörk in retail, I think yöu will get a huge kick öut öf the setting and the characters öf this böök. Each pölicy, each persön, all öf it is sömething I ran intö during my career in retail. I göt sö freakin’ nöstalgic, I wanted tö cry!
Then cömes tö the supernatural creepiness that makes this a hörrör störy - which I will nöt get intö töö much tö avöid spöilers. Let’s just say that Hendrix döes nöt pull any punches. What starts as a gööfy möckery öf retail, turns intö an equally gruesöme tale öf göre and törture. If yöu read this and then ever find yöurself löst in a big böx störe, yöu might end up ön the flöör in the fetal pösitiön until sömeöne cömes tö guide yöu öut.
I think this böök hölds its öwn with söme öther hörrör störies I have read, and, in the future, I will easily be able tö recömmend it tö my hörrör fan friends.
October 10, 2023
Seeing how working a low-wage retail job is a quotidian nightmare, it naturally lends itself as a springboard into horror. Horrorstör by Grady Hendrix cartwheels and leaps off that springboard to yell cannonball right into a pool of blood, blending fear and funny for a wild and wicked ride of retail horror. Now I’m not talking the horror of the close-talkers, the arm touchers, the “if it doesn’t scan it must be free” types, the “you must be new here” folks, the “someone peed on the clothes in the fitting room” days, the “someone smeared poop on the bathroom wall” days, the “people are having sex in the fitting room where someone pooped on the wall” days, the register crashing on a Christmas season saturday, or even the “I can’t open another register because there is literally nobody else but me here” moments. Well, those too, but I’m talking economic anxiety manifesting into violent, deadly ghosts making the already-creepy afterhours of a retail store into a haunted house horrorfest that Shirley Jackson would swig her brandy and yell “oh HELL YEA!” at. Okay I can’t confirm the last part but IF SHE DID it would fit this book quite well. Hendrix comically spoofs retail work, turning motivational slogans and corporate workstructure into a kafkaesque comedy hellbent on tearing your sanity to shreds and then unleashes evil hellbent on tearing the employees to shreds. Which is what I imagine was about to happen to me one time if I hadn't just given up and agreed with a customer that Louise Penny's writing is ruined when translated into English from French (Oh they aren't translated, not everyone in Canada writes in French, but there was no convincing them). Who would have guessed building an IKEA-knock-off on a site of an old prison full of torture trauma could have been a bad idea?
This was my first foray into Hendrix and I have to thank my cool coworker Taylor for basically forcing me to read this. YOU WERE RIGHT. This was so much fun and what starts as some biting satire that will have you laughing very abruptly turns into a gore-fest that will have you screaming. With fun mostly, but whew can Hendrix write some violence. I really vibed with the retail stuff and the oddball cast of characters forced into close proximity under the constant duress of customers now having to survive the night after an ill-advised séance goes awry. But I really loved how it is all a big metaphor for being underpaid, overworked, and feeling trapped in the spiral of slowly dying for the sake of someone else's stock profits. So great, now IKEA will seem scary. Though I still believe it would be a perfect place to hold down the fort during a zombie apocalypse. This was a blast and a perfect way to have some bloody good fun this spooky season.
3.5/5
This was my first foray into Hendrix and I have to thank my cool coworker Taylor for basically forcing me to read this. YOU WERE RIGHT. This was so much fun and what starts as some biting satire that will have you laughing very abruptly turns into a gore-fest that will have you screaming. With fun mostly, but whew can Hendrix write some violence. I really vibed with the retail stuff and the oddball cast of characters forced into close proximity under the constant duress of customers now having to survive the night after an ill-advised séance goes awry. But I really loved how it is all a big metaphor for being underpaid, overworked, and feeling trapped in the spiral of slowly dying for the sake of someone else's stock profits. So great, now IKEA will seem scary. Though I still believe it would be a perfect place to hold down the fort during a zombie apocalypse. This was a blast and a perfect way to have some bloody good fun this spooky season.
3.5/5
January 10, 2019
This deliciously quirky novel brings scares to one of the happiest places on Earth—an IKEA-esque furniture superstore. After days of mysterious occurrences like broken light fixtures and smashed wardrobes, the employees of ORSK stay after hours to investigate. Dun dun dun!
This novel taught me that any setting can be the groundwork for a spooky good time. It is also textbook perfection on how to blend horror and humor. Hendrix clearly has a blast describing overworked and underpaid employees and putting them in zany sources of danger. His infusion of social commentary into the plot is precisely what I hope to achieve in my own writing. It’s hard to walk into an IKEA and not think about his “bright and shining path," or the false doors that, in this book, do open and lead to interdimensional horror.
It's hard for me to truly express how masterful this is - so just take my word for it, if you like eerie or funny or funny-eerie, Horrorstor will be your new favorite book.
This novel taught me that any setting can be the groundwork for a spooky good time. It is also textbook perfection on how to blend horror and humor. Hendrix clearly has a blast describing overworked and underpaid employees and putting them in zany sources of danger. His infusion of social commentary into the plot is precisely what I hope to achieve in my own writing. It’s hard to walk into an IKEA and not think about his “bright and shining path," or the false doors that, in this book, do open and lead to interdimensional horror.
It's hard for me to truly express how masterful this is - so just take my word for it, if you like eerie or funny or funny-eerie, Horrorstor will be your new favorite book.
October 30, 2021
“Horrorstor" by Grady Hendrix is a parody on the horrors of working retail.
Ask me about the torture of retail and I will tell you it's all true. I lived this horror for the last six years of my retail career. Pure big-box horror! It wasn't the customers or the employees that gave me the creeps. I was a master of both service and HR by then. No! It was the company culture that gave me nightmares! Still does...
Orsk Furniture Superstore in Cleveland, OH is experiencing unexplained product damage when the store is closed. Employees arrive first thing in the morning to a store in complete disarray but nothing is captured on surveillance video. Store management is in a tizzy and corporate has scheduled a visit!
The night before the 'big visit' three employees agree to spend an overnight shift in the store to investigate the strange occurrences. Will they be able to get to the cause of the reoccurring damage? Will they be safe inside the locked store? Will they still be there in the morning?
This is my second Grady Hendrix book and I'm surprised by how much I enjoyed this blast from my past! I loved how Grady Hendrix turned a 'haunted-house' story on its head and into a dark, creepy, stinky, big-box nightmare. Creative, creepy fun with humorous and twisty chapter introductions about the various Orsk products and their interesting uses.
I listened to the audiobook with voicing and narration by Tai Sammons. Bronson Pinchot narrated the creepy chapter introductions with bizarre aloofness and believability!
The ending was simply perfect and aptly portrayed the retail corporate culture for the money hungry zombies they are!
Ask me about the torture of retail and I will tell you it's all true. I lived this horror for the last six years of my retail career. Pure big-box horror! It wasn't the customers or the employees that gave me the creeps. I was a master of both service and HR by then. No! It was the company culture that gave me nightmares! Still does...
Orsk Furniture Superstore in Cleveland, OH is experiencing unexplained product damage when the store is closed. Employees arrive first thing in the morning to a store in complete disarray but nothing is captured on surveillance video. Store management is in a tizzy and corporate has scheduled a visit!
The night before the 'big visit' three employees agree to spend an overnight shift in the store to investigate the strange occurrences. Will they be able to get to the cause of the reoccurring damage? Will they be safe inside the locked store? Will they still be there in the morning?
This is my second Grady Hendrix book and I'm surprised by how much I enjoyed this blast from my past! I loved how Grady Hendrix turned a 'haunted-house' story on its head and into a dark, creepy, stinky, big-box nightmare. Creative, creepy fun with humorous and twisty chapter introductions about the various Orsk products and their interesting uses.
I listened to the audiobook with voicing and narration by Tai Sammons. Bronson Pinchot narrated the creepy chapter introductions with bizarre aloofness and believability!
The ending was simply perfect and aptly portrayed the retail corporate culture for the money hungry zombies they are!
October 8, 2020
I didn’t really like it. The end!
Mel 🖤🐺🐾
Mel 🖤🐺🐾
March 17, 2020
Have you ever worked retail? I have and it is truly a horror story. Anyone that has ever worked in customer service knows one thing really well: The customer ISN'T always right. So to base a book, a horror book no less, on a haunted version of IKEA or Orsk as it is named in the book is such a brilliant and unique concept.
However, that is where my enjoyment ended.
This book is neither funny nor scary. The cast of characters were all annoying and acted like 14 year old kids rather than the adults they were. This is basically a gory version of a Scooby Doo episode. I grew incredibly tired of this book. Almost like you would a real retail shift. Thank gawd it's over. *punches clock*
However, that is where my enjoyment ended.
This book is neither funny nor scary. The cast of characters were all annoying and acted like 14 year old kids rather than the adults they were. This is basically a gory version of a Scooby Doo episode. I grew incredibly tired of this book. Almost like you would a real retail shift. Thank gawd it's over. *punches clock*
October 27, 2023
Omigosh. So dumb. So funny. And actually kinda brilliant.
I got a physical copy of this book and I highly recommend it for the hilarious illustrations. The book is printed in a coffee table catalog sorta style with product pages and illustrations included that start out funny and get progressively more disturbing and distorted as the story descends into horror territory. So well done, I really applaud the author and his team for the production value on this book.
In Horrorstor, Grady Hendrix has created a knock-off Ikea brand called Orsk, which is basically exactly Ikea except even cheaper, worse quality, and it’s run by a bunch a Midwestern Americans pretending (badly) to be Nordic Europeans.
The main characters all work in the Orsk furniture showroom, and they’re all stuck in the endless corporate grind, getting ground to bits to varying degrees.
Amy, the narrating character, dreams of having what she calls a “sit down job”, but she can’t seem to break out of a long string of minimum wage retail jobs.
Nearly all of the plot occurs during a single night. Furniture has been going missing or turning up with disturbing, unexplainable damage in the middle of the night, and the culprit hasn’t been caught on security footage. So, several of the Orsk employees spend the night in the showroom, aiming to catch whoever they think has been sneaking in and vandalizing the store.
They do find the cause of the damage, but it’s nothing like what they expected. The showroom sucks them into a horrorscape and refuses to let them go.
Beyond the comic appeal and the fun ghost-riddled horror story, the book also has some meaningful moments between characters, and the theme of “death by corporate grind” really struck true with me.
Great book, Grady Hendrix is becoming one of my insta-read authors.
I got a physical copy of this book and I highly recommend it for the hilarious illustrations. The book is printed in a coffee table catalog sorta style with product pages and illustrations included that start out funny and get progressively more disturbing and distorted as the story descends into horror territory. So well done, I really applaud the author and his team for the production value on this book.
In Horrorstor, Grady Hendrix has created a knock-off Ikea brand called Orsk, which is basically exactly Ikea except even cheaper, worse quality, and it’s run by a bunch a Midwestern Americans pretending (badly) to be Nordic Europeans.
The main characters all work in the Orsk furniture showroom, and they’re all stuck in the endless corporate grind, getting ground to bits to varying degrees.
Inside the store there were no windows, no skylights, no wall clocks, no way of telling the time or the temperature. Like a casino, Orsk existed in an eternal now.
Amy, the narrating character, dreams of having what she calls a “sit down job”, but she can’t seem to break out of a long string of minimum wage retail jobs.
Nearly all of the plot occurs during a single night. Furniture has been going missing or turning up with disturbing, unexplainable damage in the middle of the night, and the culprit hasn’t been caught on security footage. So, several of the Orsk employees spend the night in the showroom, aiming to catch whoever they think has been sneaking in and vandalizing the store.
Orsk was so big it needed a certain number of people on the premises to keep it under control. Three of them weren’t enough. The store was stirring, restless, growing slowly. Emptied of people, Orsk felt dangerous.
They do find the cause of the damage, but it’s nothing like what they expected. The showroom sucks them into a horrorscape and refuses to let them go.
Beyond the comic appeal and the fun ghost-riddled horror story, the book also has some meaningful moments between characters, and the theme of “death by corporate grind” really struck true with me.
Great book, Grady Hendrix is becoming one of my insta-read authors.
July 5, 2021
This book was fun, but at the end of the day pretty forgettable for me.
I read it for Summerween: https://youtu.be/wcbIV0T2QL4
I read it for Summerween: https://youtu.be/wcbIV0T2QL4
January 31, 2015
Here’s the plot summary: haunted Ikea-like store. That’s it.
I love the haunted house subgenre of horror, I’m a big fan of Douglas Coupland (the overall design aesthetic of the book reminded me of novels like Microserfs and jPod), so I really thought Grady Hendrix’s Horrorstor was going to be a good read. My expectation was that it was going to be satirical/funny with a little bit of drama to balance things out. Wrong! It’s all written completely straight - Hendrix is actually trying to be scary. And, unfortunately, he does a terrible job!
Twenty-something Amy works at a cheap furniture store called Orsk. She gets roped into doing a dusk-til-dawn shift with her middle-aged co-worker Ruth Anne and highly motivated manager Basil (who’s also younger than she is). They’re on the lookout for whoever’s been wiping the display furniture with poo and scrawling graffiti across the walls after-hours. Also, someone is texting “help” to everyone with a store mobile. But they gotta catch whoever’s doing it soon because corporate’s coming down for an inspection, first thing in the morning!
Our cast of characters are extremely dull. Amy is your average drifting young woman who’s treading water until she makes a move towards something she actually wants to do. As it is, she’s very apathetic towards her work, and that’s fine, but it’s not interesting to read - why should we care about her again? Why is she the main character?
Ruth Anne is a wallflower who shows a little bit more character later on, Basil’s a corporate stooge who isn’t as secure as he seems, and there are some others but they’re not worth mentioning. They’re basically all as flat as the flat-pack furniture their store sells.
The story starts slowly as we get to know our unremarkable cast and set up the main story: characters walking around a dark store. I was ready to fall asleep every time a chapter started and they were still stumbling around in the dark. Is this the “scary” part? What am I supposed to be feeling besides boredom?
We finally get to the supernatural disturbances and they’re a joke. I mean, they’re played totally real but they’re just a glob of horror story cliches. It’s the Indian burial ground-type setup, tedious monologues about never getting out and being punished forever and ever. Even the villain in this is tedious!
There’s more stumbling around in the dark, some characters die, and it’s over. I was very disappointed/sleepy and not at all scared.
Horrorstor could’ve lent itself well to satire/comedy - the Ikea store as a modern day nightmare, designed to entrap consumers with their never-ending layouts until they empty their wallets, etc. - but Hendrix crapped out and went the banal and wholly unoriginal route of characters being chased by spookies in the dark.
I suppose Hendrix did sort of imply something along those lines by turning Orsk into a ghostly version of the nightmarish prison where people went insane and were tortured. And I did like the Coupland-esque graphics, designed to look like an Ikea catalogue. But generally I felt Hendrix didn’t do enough with the concept and incorporated too many cliches with excessive blood and physical harm, grasping hands from walls, characters separating, and a one-dimensional villain.
Horrorstor is a very unmemorable and uninteresting haunted house story that I wouldn’t recommend to anyone. For good haunted house novels, check out The Shining by Stephen King, The Haunting of Hill House by Shirley Jackson, and Hell House by Richard Matheson instead.
I love the haunted house subgenre of horror, I’m a big fan of Douglas Coupland (the overall design aesthetic of the book reminded me of novels like Microserfs and jPod), so I really thought Grady Hendrix’s Horrorstor was going to be a good read. My expectation was that it was going to be satirical/funny with a little bit of drama to balance things out. Wrong! It’s all written completely straight - Hendrix is actually trying to be scary. And, unfortunately, he does a terrible job!
Twenty-something Amy works at a cheap furniture store called Orsk. She gets roped into doing a dusk-til-dawn shift with her middle-aged co-worker Ruth Anne and highly motivated manager Basil (who’s also younger than she is). They’re on the lookout for whoever’s been wiping the display furniture with poo and scrawling graffiti across the walls after-hours. Also, someone is texting “help” to everyone with a store mobile. But they gotta catch whoever’s doing it soon because corporate’s coming down for an inspection, first thing in the morning!
Our cast of characters are extremely dull. Amy is your average drifting young woman who’s treading water until she makes a move towards something she actually wants to do. As it is, she’s very apathetic towards her work, and that’s fine, but it’s not interesting to read - why should we care about her again? Why is she the main character?
Ruth Anne is a wallflower who shows a little bit more character later on, Basil’s a corporate stooge who isn’t as secure as he seems, and there are some others but they’re not worth mentioning. They’re basically all as flat as the flat-pack furniture their store sells.
The story starts slowly as we get to know our unremarkable cast and set up the main story: characters walking around a dark store. I was ready to fall asleep every time a chapter started and they were still stumbling around in the dark. Is this the “scary” part? What am I supposed to be feeling besides boredom?
We finally get to the supernatural disturbances and they’re a joke. I mean, they’re played totally real but they’re just a glob of horror story cliches. It’s the Indian burial ground-type setup, tedious monologues about never getting out and being punished forever and ever. Even the villain in this is tedious!
There’s more stumbling around in the dark, some characters die, and it’s over. I was very disappointed/sleepy and not at all scared.
Horrorstor could’ve lent itself well to satire/comedy - the Ikea store as a modern day nightmare, designed to entrap consumers with their never-ending layouts until they empty their wallets, etc. - but Hendrix crapped out and went the banal and wholly unoriginal route of characters being chased by spookies in the dark.
I suppose Hendrix did sort of imply something along those lines by turning Orsk into a ghostly version of the nightmarish prison where people went insane and were tortured. And I did like the Coupland-esque graphics, designed to look like an Ikea catalogue. But generally I felt Hendrix didn’t do enough with the concept and incorporated too many cliches with excessive blood and physical harm, grasping hands from walls, characters separating, and a one-dimensional villain.
Horrorstor is a very unmemorable and uninteresting haunted house story that I wouldn’t recommend to anyone. For good haunted house novels, check out The Shining by Stephen King, The Haunting of Hill House by Shirley Jackson, and Hell House by Richard Matheson instead.
June 1, 2017
Horrorstör ; A Plot like an average-rated, Cliché Horror Movie about Haunted Places..
Creatively mixed into more Realistic issue that face millions around the world;
Working in Retail.
And uniquely presented in a Novel shaped like the same Retail Catalog..
So..Welcome to Orsk
A cheap clone of IKEA..at one of its branches by a highway road, will start a series of a Paranormal Events..
With 5 very different characters, their only common thing is working retail, But their personalities variety.. The 'Not my business type, The faithfully faithful whose faith is the job , The married to the work, and another regular two'
They all will stand for that rough day/Night...at an exceptional night shift to investigate A series of Weird events..
The Story presented in the very same style of Orsk catalog, which is , again , a clone of IKEA's One.
If it was a movie, my rate would have been 7/10 in IMDb
8 for the characters , 5 or hardly 6 for the plot , by the ending it can be 6.5 so , it's 7, or here in Goodreads, 3.5 ...I gave it 4 JUST for the creativeness of the novel
The Story
----------
A review that really says all what I felt needed to say about Amy and retail work perfectly
Amy, the main character, is on verge to lose her retail job, a soulless one..BUT which is her only hope for living....well , who works retail and doesn't ?
And you'd never know the feelings of her unless you're working retail...dealing with customers, watched as if you're a thief, long hours and holidays shifts...bossy bosses, bossy snitches co workers, tedious customers, boring complains from them for things you can Never have the authority to solve.
33 Funny Posts about Retail Work Mixed with Game of Thrones
for me I'm working at multimedia branch of a company that ruled by government -which doesn't mean the excellency since it's Egypt , if you know what I mean..
And so, Amy, this very realistic character, got a very strange last day of Work at Orsk...An exceptional Night Shift by the boss she hates, because he seems to be hating her.
The best part of the horror is that coming from the idea of roaming around a huge retail building and its halls and show rooms in night, after everyone's gone, while a might be paranormal activities are going on.
when you can't say if it's day or night .. the store is time still with all the light and no windows or skylights.
But a certain action from some characters ruined some of the story for me ,
But after all the story of Amy was really nice. A bit direct moral turn by the end of the story but it's still fun read, awesome style, huge success in cinematic description of the Orsk , the place, the characters, the wheel of tedious jops, and even the products of ORSK which I'd LOVE to buy some of them..only the first half of course not the horrible nazi ones by the last half., Well It's a Retail Catalogue...and it really pushed me to thinking about buying the items..
The metaphor and connection between Retail and Terrible Nazi-like Prison and beehive was more than perfect..
Hard to rate, I wanted to rate it 3, the style 5, The characters 4, The first 1/3 of the story 5, the second 3, the last 4
Extra star for capturing the Hardlifestyle of the Retail...
Well... 4 it is and don't say I didn't warn you.
Mohammed Arabey
At Orsk
From 3 June 2015
To 5 June 2015
Creatively mixed into more Realistic issue that face millions around the world;
Working in Retail.
And uniquely presented in a Novel shaped like the same Retail Catalog..
So..Welcome to Orsk
A cheap clone of IKEA..at one of its branches by a highway road, will start a series of a Paranormal Events..
With 5 very different characters, their only common thing is working retail, But their personalities variety.. The 'Not my business type, The faithfully faithful whose faith is the job , The married to the work, and another regular two'
They all will stand for that rough day/Night...at an exceptional night shift to investigate A series of Weird events..
The Story presented in the very same style of Orsk catalog, which is , again , a clone of IKEA's One.
If it was a movie, my rate would have been 7/10 in IMDb
8 for the characters , 5 or hardly 6 for the plot , by the ending it can be 6.5 so , it's 7, or here in Goodreads, 3.5 ...I gave it 4 JUST for the creativeness of the novel
The Story
----------
A review that really says all what I felt needed to say about Amy and retail work perfectly
Amy, the main character, is on verge to lose her retail job, a soulless one..BUT which is her only hope for living....well , who works retail and doesn't ?
"The more Amy struggled, the faster she sank. Every month she shuffled around less and less money to cover the same number of bills. The hamster wheel kept spinning and spinning. Sometimes she wanted to let go and find out exactly how far she'd fall if she just stopped fighting.She didn't expect life to be fair, but did it have to be so relentless?"
And you'd never know the feelings of her unless you're working retail...dealing with customers, watched as if you're a thief, long hours and holidays shifts...bossy bosses, bossy snitches co workers, tedious customers, boring complains from them for things you can Never have the authority to solve.
33 Funny Posts about Retail Work Mixed with Game of Thrones
for me I'm working at multimedia branch of a company that ruled by government -which doesn't mean the excellency since it's Egypt , if you know what I mean..
And so, Amy, this very realistic character, got a very strange last day of Work at Orsk...An exceptional Night Shift by the boss she hates, because he seems to be hating her.
The best part of the horror is that coming from the idea of roaming around a huge retail building and its halls and show rooms in night, after everyone's gone, while a might be paranormal activities are going on.
when you can't say if it's day or night .. the store is time still with all the light and no windows or skylights.
But a certain action from some characters ruined some of the story for me ,
But after all the story of Amy was really nice. A bit direct moral turn by the end of the story but it's still fun read, awesome style, huge success in cinematic description of the Orsk , the place, the characters, the wheel of tedious jops, and even the products of ORSK which I'd LOVE to buy some of them..only the first half of course not the horrible nazi ones by the last half., Well It's a Retail Catalogue...and it really pushed me to thinking about buying the items..
The metaphor and connection between Retail and Terrible Nazi-like Prison and beehive was more than perfect..
Hard to rate, I wanted to rate it 3, the style 5, The characters 4, The first 1/3 of the story 5, the second 3, the last 4
Extra star for capturing the Hardlifestyle of the Retail...
Well... 4 it is and don't say I didn't warn you.
Mohammed Arabey
At Orsk
From 3 June 2015
To 5 June 2015
June 8, 2017
Let me gush about this book to you for like three or five minutes. Give me five, tops! First of all, let me just explain how much fun this book is. Starting with the cover, have you ever seen a more eye catching, hilarious cover?
(Your answer is no)
My husband and I have been to IKEA several times, like every time we move. Most notably the last time was when we outfitted our camping trailer. It was a weekend. We wound our way through the entire Showroom and it was, quite literally, a Horrorstor!
All the references to IKEA, from the cover (and back cover) to all the attention to detail inside the book--the diagrams, order form, the crazy, unpronounceable names of the furniture--was so spot on! So deliciously tongue-in-cheek, I LOVED IT! But if that wasn't enough, we have a pretty tight horror story on the "catalog" pages!
There were a few scenes that were so explicitly detailed, I felt like I was involved in the terror and it was uncomfortable. You know that awesome feeling you get when you're reading something scary before bed? The house is too quiet, everyone is sleeping and your eyes won't stop reading even though your brain is thinking, "shouldn't you quit just in case you read something you can't take back?" I LOVE THAT!
Probably my favorite part about reading horror is the heart pounding suspense...this one has woven a fast paced, believable tale that draws you in and holds you there. The characters remind me of people we all know. Our protagonist is so normal, so average I felt like the author and I have worked with the same kind of people in retail. Amy is someone we have all worked with. There were some moments I laughed out loud and a few pages of the book that I had to lean over and show my husband. So smart. This book is terribly clever.
Like I said, SO MUCH FUN!
One of my favorite ghostie/paranormal stories to date. A must read.
(Your answer is no)
My husband and I have been to IKEA several times, like every time we move. Most notably the last time was when we outfitted our camping trailer. It was a weekend. We wound our way through the entire Showroom and it was, quite literally, a Horrorstor!
All the references to IKEA, from the cover (and back cover) to all the attention to detail inside the book--the diagrams, order form, the crazy, unpronounceable names of the furniture--was so spot on! So deliciously tongue-in-cheek, I LOVED IT! But if that wasn't enough, we have a pretty tight horror story on the "catalog" pages!
There were a few scenes that were so explicitly detailed, I felt like I was involved in the terror and it was uncomfortable. You know that awesome feeling you get when you're reading something scary before bed? The house is too quiet, everyone is sleeping and your eyes won't stop reading even though your brain is thinking, "shouldn't you quit just in case you read something you can't take back?" I LOVE THAT!
Probably my favorite part about reading horror is the heart pounding suspense...this one has woven a fast paced, believable tale that draws you in and holds you there. The characters remind me of people we all know. Our protagonist is so normal, so average I felt like the author and I have worked with the same kind of people in retail. Amy is someone we have all worked with. There were some moments I laughed out loud and a few pages of the book that I had to lean over and show my husband. So smart. This book is terribly clever.
Like I said, SO MUCH FUN!
One of my favorite ghostie/paranormal stories to date. A must read.
February 11, 2015
haunted house tale set in an Ikea-ish hellmouth. perfectly accomplished satiric horror, plus actual horror. and redemption! design of book is highly impressive. book is reminiscent of Bentley Little's various horror novels set in various institutions; Hendrix's story is ultimately more heartfelt and his writing glossier, more accomplished while Little remains superior in the depth of his anger at various institutions and his willingness to dive into Kafka-esque surrealism. overall a minor work but thoroughly enjoyable. moral of the tale: work is hell.
October 29, 2022
Well, this book was just amazing.
Orsk, an Ikea rip-off store, is hell. Retail hell - something Hendrix seems to be very familiar with.
Here are the opening paragraphs:
It was dawn, and the zombies were stumbling through the parking lot, streaming toward the massive beige box at the far end. Later they'd be resurrected by megadoses of Starbucks, but for now they were the barely living dead. Their causes of death differed: hangovers, nightmares, strung out from epic online gaming sessions, circadian rhythms broken by late night TV, children who couldn't stop crying, neighbors partying till 4 a.m., broken hearts, unpaid bills, roads not taken, sick dogs, deployed daughters, ailing parents, midnight ice cream binges.
But every morning, five days a week (seven during the holidays), they dragged themselves here, to the one thing in their lives that never changed, the one thing they could count on come rain, or shine, or dead pets, or divorce: work.
This book has a normal "horror" movie cast of characters: Amy, the poor girl struggling to escape from her trailer park background; Matt, the cynical hipster with an enormous beard; Trinity, the flirty, fun, rainbow-colored Korean-American rebelling against her conservative Christian parents; Ruth Anne, the kind-hearted, lonely, unmarried, childless, work-is-my-life country-singer look-alike; and Basil, the manager who speaks in retail-jargon and is always lecturing his employees on the joys of working for Orsk.
I liked the fact that there was actually character development in this novel. For instance, I started off really despising Basil, but he slowly grows on you as the novel goes on. Ruth Anne also shows different facets of herself that you initially don't believe she has in her.
The horror is truly horrifying. DO NOT READ THIS UNLESS YOU ARE A HORROR FAN. It might not seem so at first, but this book ends up in really gruesome and terrifying places. If you are squeamish or don't enjoy horror, this is NOT a fun book.
Hendrix does a great job of slowly building up the horror and also introducing you to the cast. This is in his favor. Horror has to be human - if you just throw scary stuff around with no strong character base than you've got nothing. Hendrix obviously knows this and delivers.
But when the crap hits the fan and bad, bad things start happening (around page 116) you are instantly on a roller coaster going 100 mph and you cannot get off, slow down, or let go. It's brutal and very fast-paced.
This book, although it seems like a gimmick at first glance with it's awesome cover and back cover, maps of the store inside, coupons inside, Orsk-catalog format, and blue printing - is actually a genuinely good and serious horror novel. No joke. I didn't know what to expect and I was completely bowled over by the sheer power and force of Hendrix's writing and imagination. This book is very well-done, even after you strip away all the bells and whistles.
I thought it would be funny, and there are bits of humor (only in the first 100 pages before everything goes south) but what I wasn't expecting was a full-on, twisted, horror book bonanza. Hendrix really surprised me, in a good way.
As I was reading this, it was very easy to picture it as a horror movie in my mind. This would look great on-screen and would make an excellent film.
The ONLY part that wasn't working for me was the 3 or 4 times Hendrix uses rats as his scare/creep factor. I am just not scared of rats. So those parts were just me being all, "Whatever. Chill out, people. They're just rats." But since Hendrix primarily focuses on actually creepy stuff, this didn't end up to be too annoying, and only took me out of the horror of the story once or twice.
This book has one of the most amazing, scary, and creepy séances that I have ever read. Very, very well-written 5 pages.
Tl;dr - this novel starts out slow, to introduce you to the characters and make you comfortable. Once the horror is introduced you are sucked in and cannot let go. The story leaps off the page and surrounds you. It's wonderful. Avoid if you don't enjoy horror - this is very 'horror' and NOT a joke-type book, despite its appearance.
P.S. If I were IKEA, I would sell this in the store, have big displays with this, have it on counters and bookshelves, and basically exploit the heck out of it. It's fun and good advertising. Also, it's October. Someone at IKEA should get on this.
P.P.S. Those opening paragraphs that I posted reminded me a lot of one of my favorite films, Sean of the Dead.
Orsk, an Ikea rip-off store, is hell. Retail hell - something Hendrix seems to be very familiar with.
Here are the opening paragraphs:
It was dawn, and the zombies were stumbling through the parking lot, streaming toward the massive beige box at the far end. Later they'd be resurrected by megadoses of Starbucks, but for now they were the barely living dead. Their causes of death differed: hangovers, nightmares, strung out from epic online gaming sessions, circadian rhythms broken by late night TV, children who couldn't stop crying, neighbors partying till 4 a.m., broken hearts, unpaid bills, roads not taken, sick dogs, deployed daughters, ailing parents, midnight ice cream binges.
But every morning, five days a week (seven during the holidays), they dragged themselves here, to the one thing in their lives that never changed, the one thing they could count on come rain, or shine, or dead pets, or divorce: work.
This book has a normal "horror" movie cast of characters: Amy, the poor girl struggling to escape from her trailer park background; Matt, the cynical hipster with an enormous beard; Trinity, the flirty, fun, rainbow-colored Korean-American rebelling against her conservative Christian parents; Ruth Anne, the kind-hearted, lonely, unmarried, childless, work-is-my-life country-singer look-alike; and Basil, the manager who speaks in retail-jargon and is always lecturing his employees on the joys of working for Orsk.
I liked the fact that there was actually character development in this novel. For instance, I started off really despising Basil, but he slowly grows on you as the novel goes on. Ruth Anne also shows different facets of herself that you initially don't believe she has in her.
The horror is truly horrifying. DO NOT READ THIS UNLESS YOU ARE A HORROR FAN. It might not seem so at first, but this book ends up in really gruesome and terrifying places. If you are squeamish or don't enjoy horror, this is NOT a fun book.
Hendrix does a great job of slowly building up the horror and also introducing you to the cast. This is in his favor. Horror has to be human - if you just throw scary stuff around with no strong character base than you've got nothing. Hendrix obviously knows this and delivers.
But when the crap hits the fan and bad, bad things start happening (around page 116) you are instantly on a roller coaster going 100 mph and you cannot get off, slow down, or let go. It's brutal and very fast-paced.
This book, although it seems like a gimmick at first glance with it's awesome cover and back cover, maps of the store inside, coupons inside, Orsk-catalog format, and blue printing - is actually a genuinely good and serious horror novel. No joke. I didn't know what to expect and I was completely bowled over by the sheer power and force of Hendrix's writing and imagination. This book is very well-done, even after you strip away all the bells and whistles.
I thought it would be funny, and there are bits of humor (only in the first 100 pages before everything goes south) but what I wasn't expecting was a full-on, twisted, horror book bonanza. Hendrix really surprised me, in a good way.
As I was reading this, it was very easy to picture it as a horror movie in my mind. This would look great on-screen and would make an excellent film.
The ONLY part that wasn't working for me was the 3 or 4 times Hendrix uses rats as his scare/creep factor. I am just not scared of rats. So those parts were just me being all, "Whatever. Chill out, people. They're just rats." But since Hendrix primarily focuses on actually creepy stuff, this didn't end up to be too annoying, and only took me out of the horror of the story once or twice.
This book has one of the most amazing, scary, and creepy séances that I have ever read. Very, very well-written 5 pages.
Tl;dr - this novel starts out slow, to introduce you to the characters and make you comfortable. Once the horror is introduced you are sucked in and cannot let go. The story leaps off the page and surrounds you. It's wonderful. Avoid if you don't enjoy horror - this is very 'horror' and NOT a joke-type book, despite its appearance.
P.S. If I were IKEA, I would sell this in the store, have big displays with this, have it on counters and bookshelves, and basically exploit the heck out of it. It's fun and good advertising. Also, it's October. Someone at IKEA should get on this.
P.P.S. Those opening paragraphs that I posted reminded me a lot of one of my favorite films, Sean of the Dead.
May 21, 2023
'ORSKUSA.COM
Wherever you go, Orsk will be there. Always. That’s the Orsk Guarantee. Our website and mobile app provide a one-on-one experience that allows Orsk to follow you everywhere. Spend hours or days immersing yourself in our vast digital presence. It’s like entering another world!'
This book is a must-read for anyone who loves horror and satire. Grady Hendrix does a brilliant job of creating a creepy and hilarious atmosphere in the Orsk store, where nothing is what it seems. The characters are incredibly relatable and witty(especially if you have worked within a commercial sales setting), and the plot is jammed full of twists and turns.
What a refreshing book, both funny, horrific and hugely captivating. You can just disengage your brain and go along for the ride. I almost felt like I were in an Orsk store at times.
One that isn't for all but I thoroughly enjoyed it. I especially loved the parody of the commercial mindset, it had me in stitches.
If you're looking for a fun and thrilling read, look no further than this book.
IF YOU NEED HELP, JUST ORSK!!!
Wherever you go, Orsk will be there. Always. That’s the Orsk Guarantee. Our website and mobile app provide a one-on-one experience that allows Orsk to follow you everywhere. Spend hours or days immersing yourself in our vast digital presence. It’s like entering another world!'
This book is a must-read for anyone who loves horror and satire. Grady Hendrix does a brilliant job of creating a creepy and hilarious atmosphere in the Orsk store, where nothing is what it seems. The characters are incredibly relatable and witty(especially if you have worked within a commercial sales setting), and the plot is jammed full of twists and turns.
What a refreshing book, both funny, horrific and hugely captivating. You can just disengage your brain and go along for the ride. I almost felt like I were in an Orsk store at times.
One that isn't for all but I thoroughly enjoyed it. I especially loved the parody of the commercial mindset, it had me in stitches.
If you're looking for a fun and thrilling read, look no further than this book.
IF YOU NEED HELP, JUST ORSK!!!
May 12, 2024
Interesting premise and concept. The illustrations and descriptions of furniture at the beginning of each chapter look really cool. I liked how they get weirder as the story gets darker (the pdf is available when listening to the audiobook).
However, the story itself was a letdown for me. It started promising, but ultimately I didn't find it that exciting and none of the events really surprised me. It gets gory towards the end, which is something I'm not a fan of, but the story itself wasn't scary at all. The characters were a bit flat and I didn't get attached to any of them. I did like the ending, sort of.
However, the story itself was a letdown for me. It started promising, but ultimately I didn't find it that exciting and none of the events really surprised me. It gets gory towards the end, which is something I'm not a fan of, but the story itself wasn't scary at all. The characters were a bit flat and I didn't get attached to any of them. I did like the ending, sort of.
November 9, 2024
I have never been to IKEA. Never stepped foot in one, not even to take a piss. I’m not even sure where the nearest IKEA store is near my home, although I’m pretty sure the closest one is in Columbus, which is two hours away.
I have, however, seen IKEA furniture, and I’m perfectly comfortable with my IKEA deprivation. What I have seen is cheap crap. Not only that but trendy post-modern cheap crap. I wouldn’t want a piece of IKEA furniture in my house, ever.
In my mind, the only thing worse than IKEA is an IKEA store haunted by vengeful poltergeists. Actually, no, that wouldn’t be worse. That would be awesome.
Thank God for Grady Hendrix, whose novel “Horrorstor” (imagine an umlaut over the last “o”) is basically about a haunted IKEA.
As is typical of a Hendrix novel, what seems like a very funny concept that should be played for laughs is subverted by the fact that Hendrix is actually a very good writer of horror novels, and his books are actually quite goosebump-raisingly creepy.
The novel is set in Ohio. Cuyahoga County, to be precise, which is where I live, although Hendrix (a Southerner) has clearly never been to Cuyahoga County. Minor problem. Setting really isn’t important anyway, as a vast majority of the book takes place within a giant retail box store.
The store is ORSK, not IKEA, but it’s such a thinly-veiled disguise as to be almost pointless. Clearly Hendrix has stepped foot into an IKEA, even if it was only to take a piss. He also, apparently, shares a similar hatred of the place.
To be fair, Hendrix isn’t just picking on IKEA. His hatred extends to all retail stores in general, a hatred that I can relate to, as I work at the Home Depot.
Indeed, much of the humor in the novel emanates from Hendrix’s spot-on illustrations of life in the world of retail. Anyone who has ever worked retail will understand. The boredom, the drudgery, the ridiculous store policies that nobody follows, the managers who think that their shit is golden, the crap pay. Honestly, when Hendrix adds vengeful spirits and eternal torture devices to the mix, anyone who works in retail will simply think, “Eh, if you’ve worked Customer Service, you’ve probably seen worse.”
Think “Superstore” meets “Saw”. Truth be told, though, “Horrorstor” is a great horror novel, one that builds in intensity and creepiness and never lets up until the end. It would make a phenomenal movie.
P.S. This book is worth checking out simply due to its format. It is designed to look exactly like an IKEA catalog, replete with store maps, order forms, and interspersed with advertisements for ridiculous furniture pieces with names like Brooka or Franjk. Points given for very cheeky cleverness.
I have, however, seen IKEA furniture, and I’m perfectly comfortable with my IKEA deprivation. What I have seen is cheap crap. Not only that but trendy post-modern cheap crap. I wouldn’t want a piece of IKEA furniture in my house, ever.
In my mind, the only thing worse than IKEA is an IKEA store haunted by vengeful poltergeists. Actually, no, that wouldn’t be worse. That would be awesome.
Thank God for Grady Hendrix, whose novel “Horrorstor” (imagine an umlaut over the last “o”) is basically about a haunted IKEA.
As is typical of a Hendrix novel, what seems like a very funny concept that should be played for laughs is subverted by the fact that Hendrix is actually a very good writer of horror novels, and his books are actually quite goosebump-raisingly creepy.
The novel is set in Ohio. Cuyahoga County, to be precise, which is where I live, although Hendrix (a Southerner) has clearly never been to Cuyahoga County. Minor problem. Setting really isn’t important anyway, as a vast majority of the book takes place within a giant retail box store.
The store is ORSK, not IKEA, but it’s such a thinly-veiled disguise as to be almost pointless. Clearly Hendrix has stepped foot into an IKEA, even if it was only to take a piss. He also, apparently, shares a similar hatred of the place.
To be fair, Hendrix isn’t just picking on IKEA. His hatred extends to all retail stores in general, a hatred that I can relate to, as I work at the Home Depot.
Indeed, much of the humor in the novel emanates from Hendrix’s spot-on illustrations of life in the world of retail. Anyone who has ever worked retail will understand. The boredom, the drudgery, the ridiculous store policies that nobody follows, the managers who think that their shit is golden, the crap pay. Honestly, when Hendrix adds vengeful spirits and eternal torture devices to the mix, anyone who works in retail will simply think, “Eh, if you’ve worked Customer Service, you’ve probably seen worse.”
Think “Superstore” meets “Saw”. Truth be told, though, “Horrorstor” is a great horror novel, one that builds in intensity and creepiness and never lets up until the end. It would make a phenomenal movie.
P.S. This book is worth checking out simply due to its format. It is designed to look exactly like an IKEA catalog, replete with store maps, order forms, and interspersed with advertisements for ridiculous furniture pieces with names like Brooka or Franjk. Points given for very cheeky cleverness.
January 6, 2022
Strange things are afoot at the Orsk furniture superstore in Cleveland, Ohio. Overnight items are being broken, furniture ruined, and the smell leaves a lot to be desired. Not to mention, sales are dismal, and the employee morale is low. Basil, store supervisor, convinces two of his employees to work overnight to find out what is really going on. As they do their routine patrol of the sales floor, they learn they are not alone. In fact, there is another world in there with them, and all sales are final.
I can see this going down in an IKEA store. I would have loved to give this book 5 stars, but not a fan of the ending. Overall, it was a great ride.
I can see this going down in an IKEA store. I would have loved to give this book 5 stars, but not a fan of the ending. Overall, it was a great ride.
September 3, 2024
Is there anything MORE creepy than a busy store packed with people customers???🤭
All joking aside, is there anything creepier than an empty store during the dead of night when only the faint remnants of human presence can still be felt? What lurks around?
Horrorstor explores this very possibility.
Welcome to Orsk, the IKEA knockoff store in Cuyahoga County – Cleveland, Ohio. Do you dare to take a tour down the Bright and Shining Path?
So, this was a lot of fun! It’s a quick read if you are able to maintain interest/focus for that long. I, on the other hand, struggled with that. About halfway through, it really started dragging and lost my interest. Don’t get me wrong, it reached a point of nonstop, heart-pounding action and thrills. There were also some true moments of terror, claustrophobia, and gruesomeness weaved in. I think I screamed, “no!” out loud way too many times.
My only minor complaint is that the plot was just so questionably blah. Maybe because this is supposed to be so comical and unique? I admit it did make my mind wander to the NBC hit sitcom, Super Store on many occasions which was comedic just because of its fun portrayal of the retail work environment.
I suppose I just wasn’t too convinced with the whole haunting source explanation, making it difficult for me to see past that. That being said, there was some notable character development, and I did immensely enjoy and appreciate the nod against the corporate work lifestyle/grind and the attention to the dissatisfaction/struggles of surviving financially in such jobs.
“There’s nothing waiting inside but retail slavery, endless exploitation, and personal subjugation to the whims of our corporate overlords.”
“The more Amy struggled, the faster she sank. Every month she shuffled around less and less money to cover the same number of bills. The hamster wheel kept spinning and spinning and spinning. Sometimes she wanted to let go and find out exactly how far she’d fall if she just stopped fighting. She didn’t expect life to be fair, but did it have to be so relentless?”
Definite 5/5 for creativity: The design of the book was outstanding! 100% brilliant and super creative! I loved the drawings of the different pieces of furniture at the beginning of each chapter. It feels like you are reading a catalog! It is really fitting for the feel of the story. The ending was pretty unexpected but well done. I’m still questioning if the actual haunting was more scary, or the idea of being stuck working a soul-sucking corporate job as your life passes you by drifting you farther away from your own aspirations and dreams. At times, I could really relate to the main character Amy!
“And your brain, deprived of this poison, will at last achieve the stillness you crave. It is humane and merciful, a freedom from your torments. And if you die, isn’t the stillness of death preferable to the vain agitation and senseless chaos of your life?”
“She wanted to slither back into the darkness, she wanted this useless struggle to end.”
This was my first official read of a Grady Hendrix novel, and I have more to go on my TBR list. I had only sampled one of his short stories last year, and it’s fear still lives rent free in the back of my mind every night in the darkness, haha! He seems super clever, and I’m looking forward to more of his work!
☆ 2024 Monster Mash Challenge Met!
|Freddy Krueger Category|
◇ Read a book by an author you follow on Goodreads. ✔️
☆ 50 States Reading Road Trip
Ohio ✔️
All joking aside, is there anything creepier than an empty store during the dead of night when only the faint remnants of human presence can still be felt? What lurks around?
Horrorstor explores this very possibility.
Welcome to Orsk, the IKEA knockoff store in Cuyahoga County – Cleveland, Ohio. Do you dare to take a tour down the Bright and Shining Path?
So, this was a lot of fun! It’s a quick read if you are able to maintain interest/focus for that long. I, on the other hand, struggled with that. About halfway through, it really started dragging and lost my interest. Don’t get me wrong, it reached a point of nonstop, heart-pounding action and thrills. There were also some true moments of terror, claustrophobia, and gruesomeness weaved in. I think I screamed, “no!” out loud way too many times.
My only minor complaint is that the plot was just so questionably blah. Maybe because this is supposed to be so comical and unique? I admit it did make my mind wander to the NBC hit sitcom, Super Store on many occasions which was comedic just because of its fun portrayal of the retail work environment.
I suppose I just wasn’t too convinced with the whole haunting source explanation, making it difficult for me to see past that. That being said, there was some notable character development, and I did immensely enjoy and appreciate the nod against the corporate work lifestyle/grind and the attention to the dissatisfaction/struggles of surviving financially in such jobs.
“There’s nothing waiting inside but retail slavery, endless exploitation, and personal subjugation to the whims of our corporate overlords.”
“The more Amy struggled, the faster she sank. Every month she shuffled around less and less money to cover the same number of bills. The hamster wheel kept spinning and spinning and spinning. Sometimes she wanted to let go and find out exactly how far she’d fall if she just stopped fighting. She didn’t expect life to be fair, but did it have to be so relentless?”
Definite 5/5 for creativity: The design of the book was outstanding! 100% brilliant and super creative! I loved the drawings of the different pieces of furniture at the beginning of each chapter. It feels like you are reading a catalog! It is really fitting for the feel of the story. The ending was pretty unexpected but well done. I’m still questioning if the actual haunting was more scary, or the idea of being stuck working a soul-sucking corporate job as your life passes you by drifting you farther away from your own aspirations and dreams. At times, I could really relate to the main character Amy!
“And your brain, deprived of this poison, will at last achieve the stillness you crave. It is humane and merciful, a freedom from your torments. And if you die, isn’t the stillness of death preferable to the vain agitation and senseless chaos of your life?”
“She wanted to slither back into the darkness, she wanted this useless struggle to end.”
This was my first official read of a Grady Hendrix novel, and I have more to go on my TBR list. I had only sampled one of his short stories last year, and it’s fear still lives rent free in the back of my mind every night in the darkness, haha! He seems super clever, and I’m looking forward to more of his work!
☆ 2024 Monster Mash Challenge Met!
|Freddy Krueger Category|
◇ Read a book by an author you follow on Goodreads. ✔️
☆ 50 States Reading Road Trip
Ohio ✔️
May 29, 2015
Welcome to Orsk, a thinly veiled IKEA copycat that's built on top of an infamous prison from way, way back in the day. And the warden is back from the grave to cure his prisoners, and this time, those prisoners are the Orsk employees. Can less-than-model-employee Amy save her fellow Orsk coworkers? P.S.--Apparently this summary is a spoiler, though I wasn't really aware that the whack back-story was a plot twist. I just thought it was confusing and not well thought-out.
Sitting here on my IKEA bed with my IKEA candles, IKEA wall art and IKEA glassware, it's easy to see where the idea for this book came from. We've all shopped there, and it's easy to get sucked into the great deals and beautiful displays that show you just how much better your life could be. But really, it just feeds our materialistic desire for stuff we don't really need.
I would have been more impressed if this book had been more of a commentary on American consumerism, in the vein of Romero's DAWN OF THE DEAD. Instead, the book gets a bit lost in its own concept, and the writing style did not hold my attention. The characters also fell flat as they were undeveloped or just too cliche to be interesting. As far as horror goes, it simply doesn't fit the bill. Not scary at all, though there are some interesting visuals. I did finish the book, but it was definitely the idea behind it that pulled me along, rather than the plot and characters.
Sitting here on my IKEA bed with my IKEA candles, IKEA wall art and IKEA glassware, it's easy to see where the idea for this book came from. We've all shopped there, and it's easy to get sucked into the great deals and beautiful displays that show you just how much better your life could be. But really, it just feeds our materialistic desire for stuff we don't really need.
I would have been more impressed if this book had been more of a commentary on American consumerism, in the vein of Romero's DAWN OF THE DEAD. Instead, the book gets a bit lost in its own concept, and the writing style did not hold my attention. The characters also fell flat as they were undeveloped or just too cliche to be interesting. As far as horror goes, it simply doesn't fit the bill. Not scary at all, though there are some interesting visuals. I did finish the book, but it was definitely the idea behind it that pulled me along, rather than the plot and characters.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
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