What Do You Do when the Scary Dies?

Pee-wee's Big Adventure (1985) - Now that's scary!

     It's a sad fact that most lifelong horror movie fans become inured to the machinations filmmakers employ to scare them.  We grow too jaded to be frightened.  Would we continue to watch comedies if we never laughed?  Probably not.  We soldier on, though, hoping against hope that the next horror movie we watch will be the one that brings the scary back from the dead.

     I believe many of us resort to living vicariously through the terrified responses of the straights in our lives to the movies that long ago ceased to scare us.  It's one of the primary reasons we have a compulsion to share our favorites.  There's no true altruism there, just a selfish need to enjoy a scare once removed rather than no scare at all.  If our victims become fans themselves, so much the better.  Still, what we're really hoping for is to see our friends and family completely lose their shit in a fashion that we no longer can.  I've been on the receiving end of this dynamic, too.  Good ole Large Marge giving Pee-wee Herman the scare of his life in Pee-wee's Big Adventure traumatized me, and I know my friend Jeff subjected me to that as payback for all of the times I'd exposed him to horror movies for my own twisted gratification.  Payback is truly a bug-eyed, truck driving bitch.

Creepy creepin' crud  - The Bay (2013)

     We try to bring the scary back by looking for it in previously unexplored avenues, as well.  Fortunately, the horror genre is stuffed to the brim with sub-genres.  I'm forty-three years old, and I'm still never at a loss to find a heretofore unexamined offshoot.  I've found many noteworthy little gems just by deigning to explore sub-genres against which I've fostered prejudice.  I don't like vampire movies, but Let The Right One In (2008) is one of the finest movies - horror or otherwise - that I've seen in the last decade.  I'm suffering from pronounced zombie fatigue, but Pontypool (2008) spins those hoary old zombie movie tropes into one of the most mesmerizing films of its type I've ever seen.  The found footage sub-genre is pretty threadbare, but it can still occasionally offer up effective chillers like Europa Report (2013) and The Bay (2012).  The scary may be on life support, but there are signs of life if you look hard enough.

Alone in the dark . . . or not -  [REC] (2007)

     The cruel irony, of course, is that the wider the swath we cut across the horror landscape, the more difficult it becomes to keep turning up more scares.  It becomes increasingly difficult to find something we haven't already seen before.  A buddy at work suggests a pefectly solid little time waster he saw on cable the night before, and we're obliged to assure him that the flick he enjoyed so much is in fact just a rip-off of movie X, Y, or Z.  Even worse, we might be obliged to tell him that his "find" is actually a rip-off of a vastly superior foreign made original.  Aren't they always?  You might have the satisfaction of pointing your buddy toward [REC] (2007) after he ran across Quarantine (2008) on Netflix streaming, but you've only taken another step toward becoming the resident "horror guy".  Your appreciation of horror movies has become largely academic.  You can no longer watch any new movie without automatically assessing its relative merit as compared to two or three similar movies that came before.  You've become a purely critical viewer.  You'll never be scared again if you can't allow yourself to be entirely in the moment when watching a new flick, but once you've become aware of the nuts and bolts used to construct a cinematic scare, you'll always see it coming.  What's a fan to do?

Shaggy and Scooby were always scared, right?  Must work.

     Some of us resort to having a few drinks to enhance viewing.  Unfortunately, beer, wine, and liquor all have roughly the same affect.  Though tying one on can boost the appeal of a campy stink bomb, it also dulls the senses and destroys focus.  It's hard to be scared by a movie if you're too blotto to know you're supposed to be.  I've also heard tell of fans smoking pot to achieve an opposite effect by sharpening focus to keep themselves completely in the moment.  I have it on good authority that this disables critical faculties while heightening attention to detail.  Though Movies At Dog Farm would of course never advocate any kind of illegal activity, it seems to me that just might work - as long the viewer doesn't fall asleep first or break the spell by pausing the movie to forage for some nachos.

     So what do you do when the scary dies?  Don't panic.  Just wait for it.  You see, I'm pretty sure the scary never actually dies, it only plays opossum.  It's still alive, taking shallow breaths and lying motionless, luring us into a false sense of security.  Then, when we least expect it . . .

     Boo!  Scary happens.  Crisis averted. 

(Mostly) Effective Tips For Teaching A Straight To Like Horror Movies

     My last post addressed the way in which straights (non horror fans) can have a tendency to look down their noses at horror fans, like we're Trekkies or something.  They only do this because they're ignorant.  It's our duty as fans to try to remedy this ignorance.  Following are a few tips from my own experience that I hope will help my fellow genre fans to convert the unwashed masses.


1)  The Classics Are Your Cornerstone

     The classics are considered classics for a reason.  It's no accident that every Halloween brings a wave of those "Ten Best Horror Movies To Watch On Halloween" lists from a slew of straight websites.  Sure, you'll see some variation, but these lists are mostly populated from a pool of the same titles on every single site.  We horror fans generally roll our eyes and think something like "The Exorcist?  Again?"  Still, though, you'd be surprised how many straights have never seen The Exorcist.

     The classics are a great place to let your student dip a foot into the bloody pool of horror, because your student will want to see these titles for many of the same reasons that filmmakers want to remake them.  Even if your subject has never seen these movies, he's at least aware of them.  He already has at least a vague idea of what they're about, often because he's already seen some of those aforementioned remakes.  Yes, even straights who profess not to like horror movies will occasionally go to see one - just goofin' - and chances are, what they saw was probably a remake with a familiar title.  Take the "in" and show them the original.


2)  Know Your Student

     Don't show a pregnant woman It's Alive (1974).  The amusement to be had from watching her squirm uncomfortably will be fleeting.  You've made watching a horror movie a distinctly unpleasant experience for her, and that only serves to reinforce her claim that she doesn't like horror.  She won't trust your recommendations in the future because she won't trust your motives.

Lena Leandersson - Let The Right One In (2008)

     Take time to find out what kind of movies your student does like, and choose a title that somehow ties into that.  If she likes arty foreign films, show her Let The Right One In (2008).  If she likes comedies, show her Shaun Of The Dead (2004).  If she likes being intellectually engaged by a movie, show her Pontypool (2008).  Remember that your student already has preconceived notions about the horror genre.  You're trying to make an end run around those preconceptions in the hopes of demonstrating that the horror genre is multifaceted enough to encompass movies that even she will enjoy.


3)  Make It A Learning Experience

     Some people respond well to the idea of developing an intellectual appreciation for something even when they believe that something doesn't actually appeal to them.  Sometimes that intellectual appreciation can develop into a genuine enthusiasm once they've become attuned to the particulars of the subject.  Use that to your advantage when introducing someone to the horror genre.

     I programmed two different series of genre movies for some of my students that I referred to as The Drive-In Movie Summer Series.  We watched one movie each Wednesday for twelve weeks.  Prior to starting this undertaking I even went so far as to create a program schedule with bullet-pointed facts, trivia, and production info.  Putting the movies into some kind of context for my students before watching them piqued their interest, and it served to make the whole experience something more than just "horror guy subjecting straights to B-movies".  They were only humoring me at first, but they were fully and genuinely invested in the experience by the end of the summer.

John Travolta - The Devil's Rain (1975)

     Be careful, though.  Don't get too bogged down in horror-centric details and lose sight of your goal.  For example, one of the movies we watched was The Devil's Rain (1975), and I made sure my resident John Travolta fan knew he was in it.  That's a bullet-point that mattered to her.  On the other hand, telling her it was directed by the same guy who directed The Abominable Dr. Phibes (1971) would have meant nothing to her.  This leads nicely into number four . . .


4)  Build On Your Successes

     If you show your student a Fulci movie and he objects to the graphic violence, shelve the Fulci movies until later.  If you show your student an Argento movie and he objects to the lack of narrative cohesion, fall back to horror movies with more linear narratives.  Don't force the issue.  There may be an opportunity to reintroduce Fulci or Argento later, but only if your student is still watching horror movies later.  Some directors, subgenres, and styles are acquired tastes.  I was only lukewarm on Argento's Suspiria (1977) the first time I saw it, and that's almost unfathomable to me now.  My tastes had to broaden and mature.  Your student will never get to that point if you insist upon beating him relentlessly about the face and neck with movies you think he should like.

     Use softer "gateway" horror like Gremlins (1984), Poltergeist (1982), or Arachnophobia (1990) first to get a feel for what your student might find tolerable, then branch out from there into thematically similar "hard" horror.  Take the time to build a foundation for your student's education.  We all had to walk before we ran.


5)  Recognize Your Student's Opinions Are Valid (Even If They're Wrong)

     You will inevitably show your student a horror movie you love that he doesn't care for.  Don't get discouraged.  Don't take it personally.  This is an opportunity, not a setback.

Angus Scrimm - Phantasm (1979)

     Ask your student to identify what they found unappealing about the movie.  Gently prod them into examining critically exactly why they didn't like it.  Resist the urge to tell them they're wrong and then proceed to explain to them why they're wrong for half an hour.  Instead, turn their criticisms back on them, and make this an opportunity for them to examine what in particular didn't appeal to them.  This will, in turn, prompt them to consider what they do like.  You've now made your student an active participant in his education, strengthened his own critical faculties, encouraged him to view a horror movie as a topic worthy of examination, and let him know it's o.k. if he doesn't like everything he sees.  You can deal with the fact that he's a nutcase for not enjoying Phantasm (1979) at a later date.


6)  Be Prepared For The Day The Student Becomes The Master

     If you've done your job well, this will happen.  You'll have another horror literate friend with whom to watch your favorites.  All of those years you spent amassing a wealth of useless knowledge about the horror genre will not have been wasted.  When you help your student develop her affinity for zombie movies and she later comes to you interested in watching The Battery (2012), you'll know you've succeeded.


     So what tactics have worked for you?  Post a comment below to share your own tips.  One final note:  I was just joshing with that Trekkie slur at the start of this post.  I like Star Trek.  Really.

Noteworthy On Netflix - 12/13/12

     It breaks my heart to hear one of my friends tell me they took a notion to watch a genre movie on Netflix streaming and fished out a turd.  It's all too easy to do.  I'm often asked what might actually be worthy of a watch, so I'm going to begin scanning what's available periodically and posting recommendations.  These are by no means the only worthy genre movies on Netflix streaming, just a sampling of movies that I'm familiar worth that I think might otherwise be overlooked.

     Availability changes often, but all of the following titles were available to stream from Netflix at the time of this posting.  The genre listed after the title (Foreign, Comedy, or Horror) describes where you'll find each movie in your onscreen groupings.  Try doing a manual search if one seems to be missing.

     If you have recommendations of your own, please share in the Comments section after the post.

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Tucker & Dale vs. Evil (2010) 
Horror or Comedy / 1h 28m / R / HD

     Convulsively funny and surprisingly sweet spoof of every "cabin in the woods" movie you've ever seen.  Alan Tudyk and Tyler Labine excel.


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The Innkeepers (2011) 
Horror / 1h 41m / R / HD

     Atmospheric slow-burn ghost story directed by Ti West.  Turn the lights out when you watch it.  See also The House of The Devil (2009) by the same director, available via Search on Netflix.

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Prince Of Darkness (1987)
Horror / 1h 41m / R / HD

     Cerebral, underrated John Carpenter effort .  Second installment in what Carpenter refers to as his "Apocalypse Trilogy" along with The Thing (1982) and In The Mouth of Madness (1994).  The "transmission" haunts me.

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Black Sunday (1960)
Foreign or Horror / 1h 26m / NR / Standard

     Gorgeous black and white gothic by legendary Italian director and cinematographer Mario Bava, probably his best work.  Netflix currently has a number of his movies available if you like this one.

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Grave Encounters (2011)
Horror / 1h 33m / NR / HD

     Handheld camera footage, so fair warning.  Uses "Ghost Hunters" type television shows as its jumping off point.  It's slow to get rolling, but undeniably effective when it does.  A sequel is available on VOD.

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Let The Right One In (2008)
Foreign or Horror / 1h 54m / R / HD /Subtitled

     Damn near perfect genre movie, touching and poetic.  Needlessly remade as Let Me In (2010), I suppose because Americans are too stupid to read subtitles.  I've never shown this one to anyone who didn't love it.

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The Sentinel (1977)
Horror / 1h 31m / R / Standard

     Fantastic star-studded cast.  You'll never see Beverly D'Angelo in quite the same way again.  Infamous for utilizing real human oddities in its finale.


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Audition (1999)
Foreign or Horror / 1h 55m / NR / Standard / Subtitled

     Somewhat laborious first half leads to an unforgettable endgame.  Very well regarded in genre circles, and curiously, never remade for American audiences.


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Deadgirl (2008)
Horror / 1h 41m / NR / HD

     Rough and raunchy subject matter definitely won't be to everyone's taste, but interesting if you have the stomach for it.  It was released in both R rated and NR versions in the U.S.  This appears to be the NR cut.

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The Girl Next Door (2007)
Horror / 1hr 31m /  R / Standard

     More rough material, this time based upon a true story.  Excellent movie, but anyone who's ever suffered abuse might want to steer clear.  It's horror in the truest sense of the word.


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Deranged (1974)  
Horror / 1h 22m / R / HD

     About as close as any movie has gotten to a proper account of the real-life crimes of serial killer Ed Gein.  It's highlighted by a stellar performance from Roberts Blossom.


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Battle Royale (2000)  
Foreign or Horror / 1h 53m / NR / HD

     If you liked The Hunger Games (2012), check out this Japanese precursor that was so controversial that it remained undistributed in North America for over a decade after its release.  

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