Showing posts with label offspring. Show all posts
Showing posts with label offspring. Show all posts

Monday, August 1, 2016

Game of Scones


There are few actors who can be the sole reason I check out a film. The sinfully underrated Pollyanna McIntosh is one of those few. 


You might know her as the silent Fifth Element-y assassin Angel in Hap and Leonard, or the standout businesswoman in the clever Exam. More likely, you’d spot her as the titular The Woman, a film that was all but made because McIntosh was so damn good in the otherwise passable dollar store version of Offspring. Even when she’s working with little (the bland The Blood Lands, for example) McIntosh brings it all, sort of like a Debbie Rochon but with much better results. 


Add in Davos Seaworth (or actor Liam Cunningham, whichever you prefer) and you can bet your haggis that I’m giving Let Us Prey a go. 


Quick Plot: Rachel Heggie (McIntosh) is starting her first night as constable in a small Scottish town. Her sergeant is a religious, misogynist prick, while her fellow two officers, Warnock and Mundie, are more concerned about their affair than enforcing the law. From a crime-safe perspective, Mayberry was in better shape. 


As soon as she clocks in, Heggie witnesses a drunken teenager named Caesar drive straight into a mysterious, possibly homeless man named Six (Cunningham) who all but disappears upon impact before being brought in by Mundie and Warnock. 


Six is locked up in a now-crowded jail cell with the punky Caesar, a wife beating schoolteacher, and the local doctor, who is called in to check on Six but soon joins him when he inexplicably tries to stab his patient. Sgt. MacReady leaves his young staff to take care of his own sinful matters, as Six reveals a certain kind of sensory power.


Six, you see, is something of an avenging angel, an ageless creature who can see one’s past crimes at the mere touch of a hand. Not surprisingly, all the assembled parties have some grisly skeletons in their closets. 


Directed by first timer Brian O’Malley, Let Us Prey is an incredibly pleasant surprise of a horror movie. As expected, McIntosh’s character is a believable badass, and her character has a rewarding, surprising arc. Once the story is established, the plot pretty much follows the beat you expect, but it does so in an intense, never dull fashion. I certainly could have used more of everything--more character development, more establishment of the town, more time for the sinners to show some layers--but hey, any film that makes you want a sequel is certainly a good thing.


High Points
It’s a tad heavy-handed, but the score and photography--particularly during the opening credits--are so darn dramatic that they send a pretty strong and effective sensory overload to keep the stakes high


Aforementioned glory that is Pollyanna McIntosh and Liam Cunningham


Low Points
It might have been nice to have a little more nuance to the rest of the characters, who mostly end up as stock jerks


Lessons Learned
A speaker implies. A listener infers

Never call a psychotic repressed Christian homosexual “old”



Even small towns keep a reliable supply of battering rams

Rent/Bury/Buy

Let Us Prey isn’t perfect, but it’s a solid, quick-paced little tale that I found to be highly enjoyable. The cast is obviously tops, and the photography is, at times, truly gorgeous. It will be exciting to see what else we get from Brian O’Malley. This one’s on Netflix Instant, so go for it. 

Monday, April 2, 2012

If I Only Had An Uncle Teardrop



What can I say? I have a thing for scarecrow horror. When you think about it, those midwestern mascots are sort of like even more hideous combinations of dolls (which I’m scared of) and clowns (which who isn’t?), then dirtied up (which is icky), impaled in the middle of Children of the Cornfields (which sounds not ideal), and covered in bird poop (which no matter how many people tell you is good luck, I will still find unpleasant). Hence, when I discovered that a mid-90s scarecrow horror was on Instant Watch, I didn’t have to click my ruby slippers together to know I’d be streaming.
Quick Plot: The small town of Handford is on the brink of abandoning its farming heart for more urban ways, a controversial decision that brings prodigal mayor’s daughter Claire back to town. While she’s flirting with the honorable farming foreman Dillon (who for whatever reason, spells his name as if he were related to Matt and Kevin), the town punk is drunk driving a corn plow over an ancient seal while his pal takes a fateful Nightmare On Elm Street 4-esque leak on the ground below a lonely scarecrow.


The town punk is a doozy. After his second scene of crushing beer cans and smoking weed (town punks can never limit their vices to one), I noted “this guy looks like the younger stoner brother of John Hawkes.” Later, as I decided to investigate some of the names behind Night of the Scarecrow, IMDB told me that actually, it WAS John Hawkes. 


Seeing a twentysomething-playing-a-17ish John Hawkes mess around with the reverend's daughter = Reason 1 to watch this movie.

Reason 2 = The Movie.

Directed by Jeff Burr--he of the underhwhelming but Viggo Mortenson starring Texas Chainsaw III and more importantly, the underrated oddball anthology The Offspring/From a Whisper to a Scream--Night of the Scarecrow is '90s straight-to-video-in-its-final-days at its best. The scarecrow is essentially a simple slasher, except...well...he's a scarecrow, burlap stitched face and all. 


In case you didn't know, scarecrows are quite well-known for innovative kill tactics. The OTHER underrated killer scarecrow film on instant watch (1988's Scarecrows) features some nifty zombification, but the big bad of Night of the Scarecrow has even more tricks up his raggedy sleeves, among them:

-Sewing a victim's mouth shut

-Crucifixion



-Creative use of a plow


-Impregnating females by stuffing a seed down their throats, the quick birth of which involves hentai-ish tentacles



-Hurling a sickle at the window of a car speeding away so as to injure the driver and have her crash


-Elegantly removing his glove and blowing some dry straw in a manner that STABS A DUDE'S FACE

Even better, the scarecrow has his own sepia-toned origin story that involves hedonism, colonial times, and orgies. How did this film ever escape my teenage video days?


High Notes
The cast is composed of a solid group of enthusiastic actors, including future Office Space's Milton Stephen Root


Though Claire isn't the most interesting horror heroine, it's nice to see a not overly ambitious genre film center itself around a smart, brave,  and independent young woman who doesn't need to wait for the strapping hot guy to battle a killer scarecrow


Low Notes
I don't mind a filmmaker playing with camera styles, particularly in this type of film where anything new is welcome. But when an hour in, I've noted five cases of conspicuous and fairly clumsy POV shots, I'm a tad distracted by the thought that Burr's team was simply really eager to play with a new toy

Lessons Learned
You don’t mess with a homeboy (even if he’s white and from the midwest)
Everybody is just looking for somebody who will be there in the morning


In the early birth of the midwest, orgies were pretty lame
Sometimes, evil scarecrows can appear right in front of you as you run full speed away. Then sometimes they prefer to exercise more and chase you. Trying to figure out why and when they’d make such decisions is a task too difficult for intelligent film audiences to try to unravel, so just sit back and pretend it all makes perfect sense

Inevitable Dash of Wizard of Oz
Claire's big pre-Buffy zinger before blazing the bad guy is, you guessed it, "How 'bout a little FIRE, Scarecrow?"




Rent/Bury/Buy
If like me, you have a soft spot for '90s videos, scarecrow slashers, or solid straight horror films, Night of the Scarecrow  shouldn't be ignored. It's not necessarily scary or life-changing, but it's a perfectly solid genre flick with some sparkles--a young John Hawkes, a coolly designed killer, death by stuffing--that easily elevate it over a good 2/3rds of what else you'll find streaming in the horror section. A perfectly light and enjoyable way to slay 84 minutes of your life. 

Friday, September 9, 2011

Lucky Dearest


I've made no secrets about my enthusiasm for the work of Jack Ketchum and likewise, my frustrations with the general off-target film adaptations of his work. While I think both The Lost and The Girl Next Door have merit, there seems to exist some wall between cinema fully capturing what makes Ketchum such a powerfully horrifying writer. After the lackluster Offspring, I didn't expect much to come from his savage clan series but when a filmmaker as unique as Lucky McKee steps up, I take notice.
The Woman, a pseudo-sequel to 2009's Offspring, is now slowly making its way to randomly placed theaters and film festivals. It's a powerful film, one bravely oozing in the ugly examination of sexual violence, domestic abuse, misogyny, enslavement, and power washing. Naturally, such accusations make it prime grade meat for the Girls On Film to tackle, bibs in place and homemade sauce ready to go. Our discussion is quite spoilery, so you may want to save it until The Woman grunts her way to your television. The episode is waiting on iTunes or at over yonder.

On a more fashionable note, my GleeKast cohostess Erica and I recently sat down with The Podcast Podcast/Spread TBs Fozziebare and his future husband George to watch an amazing little slice of cinema you might know as Mommie Dearest. Loyal readers wil know that I have a special relationship with this film...


And so it was more than a pleasure to share a viewing with others. You can download the commentary at iTunes or stream over here. We tell you when to press play, so listen along in your best red carpet ready gowns and remember to hang them up properly when finished.


Monday, October 26, 2009

Have a Yabba Dabba Doo Death


Stephen King may be the mainstream go-to for horror literature, but when it comes to fiction that digs into your soul and chips away at your sense of what’s right in the world, pick up a Jack Ketchum book. From vividly gruesome novels riddled with torn limbs to stories that break your heart in less than ten pages without a drop of spilled blood, his work never fails to make me reach for reliable reassurance with a hug from my cat or cuddle with the old Pound Puppy. 
In theory, much of his work comes ready-made for film adaptations. Early novels like Off Season leap off the page with visceral violence screaming for some handy makeup effects, while The Lost could easily be a good actor’s dream role along the lines of De Niro’s Travis Bickle. 2009‘s Offspring marks the fourth attempt to bring Ketchum’s words to the screen, and like The Girl Next Door and The Lost (I can’t speak for Red as it’s still making its way up my queue), it works on some levels while failing to capture the true horror of its source material. 

Quick Plot:
The ominously named Dead River, Maine, is about to be revisited by a clan of savage cave cannibals who made their mark eleven years earlier (for reference, read Off Season, Ketchum’s 1980 debut novel which for rights reasons, couldn’t be filmed) by snatching a few babies and devouring a lot of adults. After a gooey prologue introduces the hungry clan, we meet The Brood’s Art Hindle as a weathered policeman coming out of retirement to lend a hand to the helpless police force. Meanwhile, our civilian protagonists are introduced as genuine nice people. The omnivores include Amy and David Halbard, a nerdily sweet young couple with a cute newborn, their visiting friend Claire Carey, and her resourceful son Luke. The latter two are in the midst of dealing with financial woes caused by Stephen Carey, an alcoholic, abusive, and tax-evading father who abandoned them months earlier but is now en route to do even more damage. 
What makes Offspring work--both on page and screen--is the attention given to developing its characters. In most cannibals-hunting-normal-people films, humans exist as mere meat just waiting to be served. Here, the Halbards, Careys, and, to a lesser extent, Hindle’s George Peters are actual people well-deserving of our sympathies. This makes the first attack incredibly effective. Watching feral children gut innocent suburbanites is always going to stir up some emotions in its audience, but when we actually like said victims, it’s truly horrifying. 
One of the most disturbing elements of Offspring, however, is its civilized villain, Stephen. Actor Erick Kastel gives this yuppie sadist a nice sense of misogyny that toes a line between forced evil and true psychopathy. Like in the novel, one of the strongest scenes has nothing to do with hunting knives or hatchets. Stephen picks up a perky hitchhiker, only to quickly unnerve her with nastiness. It’s a nice early twist that further infuses Offspring with a sense of wrongness, much in the way The Girl Next Door features a creepy ant war that works to unsettle the audience before digging into the main action. 

The sense of savagery inside Offspring is at times aided by its low budget and lack of studio rating. Children are shot, babies are tossed, and many a stomach is torn apart in a manner that would most likely have had the MPAA seething. The biggest complaint a lot of viewers will mostly likely have is the low quality camera work that feels nearly homemade. Occasionally, this works for artistic reasons (such as Stephen’s first meeting with the demolition-happy cannibals as he storms away in his Porsche) but unfortunately, some of the actual editing stunts the action by lingering in all the wrong spots. Director Andrew van den Houten doesn’t seem to have any real eye for shooting scenes or building suspense. It’s possible to defend some of the visuals and lack of build-up as modern exploitation, but as you watch Offspring, it feels much more along the lines of sloppy filmmaking.
But as far as the horror goes, Offspring works at grounding itself in one awful night of slaughter. Ketchum himself penned the script and it’s obvious he retained most of his own character work in shaping the victims. The clan, on the other hand, is a mixed bag of effectiveness: evil and athletic children are sufficiently rotten, and  schoolteacher Ed Nelson’s performance as Cow (the crazed and imprisoned sex toy of the group) is quite creepy. Pollyanna McIntosh comes off best as the leading matriarch, but the entire look of these horrific man-eaters feels...well...costume store sponsored. I was more impressed by the fact that Second Stolen’s metal rock wig stayed on when she tossed her hair than I was by her self flagellation. I understand that a limited budget wouldn’t quite capture the nipple belt so well described on the page, but it’s a shame to see these potentially nightmare-inducing creations end up looking like a family dressing up like the Flintstones for Halloween, but forgetting to take their costumes off come Thanksgiving.
High Points
All the gore--and there is a lot--is quite well done, always grossing you out and never inspiring you to pass the ketchup


You can’t underestimate the importance in fleshing out (no pun intended; I need to stop this Crypt Keeper business before I corn myself to death) the characters. With a few gaps here and there, the lead performances are all very solid in creating actual people, thus making their brutal attacks as sad as they are frightening
Low Points
So much about the technical filmmaking misses the mark. For one, the coloring never seems to make up its mind. The hellish cave is too orange, creating a campfire feel rather than a disgustingly bone-filled home base of killer cannibals
Even though I read Offspring less than a year ago, the motivations of the clan were hazy at best. I only remembered the fact that the older children were named “First Stolen” and “Second Stolen” because of the IMDB listing. Knowing that these horrid creatures were once kidnapped babies is a huge part of the novel that adds weight to the newly kidnapped children, but in the film, none of this disturbing backstory comes across. 


Lessons Learned
If you need to escape from an entire town’s police force, simply trot into the woods while they watch you waving their fists
Everybody in New England carries a full flask
Kicking a corpse will not bring it back to life
Don’t expect the 16 year old babysitter to successfully defend your newborn against a feral clan of baby-eating cannibals
Knives are very noisy when pulled out of stomachs


Rent/Bury/Buy
Word of mouth has been pretty turgid for Offspring, but I found it to be an entertaining little slice of 90 minutes. In no way does it fully capture the horrific nature of the novel, but it does offer more than a few moments to unsettle jaded DVD renters. I can see many a cynical horror fan picking more bones with the look and general feel of this film, but I guess those who want to like it will find more than enough to enjoy in a sitting. Whereas The Girl Next Door remains a chilling and troubling film with each subsequent viewing, Offspring’s power lays more in its action, making it most likely a one-watch for the majority of horror fans. The loaded DVD includes a detailed behind-the-scenes featurette, commentary, and a few more little goodies worth checking out. I’m partial to the making-of documentary, where we get to watch the final kid-on-kid battle in a split screen with the child actors’ parents looking on with pride, horror, and gum snaps.