Jonah Hex V2 #40 "Sawbones The First Half"

Jonah Hex V2 #40 Apr '09

"Sawbones The First Half"

Justin Gray and Jimmy Palmiotti - story, David Micheal Beck - art and cover 

Hang on, this one is brutal:

Texas, 1879. We see a woman pleading for her life and someone trying to calm her but we then see a chisel hammered into her head and the top of her skull removed

The Good Doctor

Another woman is standing outside and is witnessing these actions through a window. The woman chokes back her tears and then turns and runs through the woods and into the night. Back in the building, a man with a butcher's apron is holding a bloody saw and we see his victim with her head poking up through a specially made table. Various organs in jars line the table and the man looks out the window, knowing that he has been spied upon.

To Catch a Killer...You Need a Killer

A few men are digging up a mass grave outside the house where the previous action took place. The witness and the sheriff stand at the edge of the pit. There are numerous bodies and parts in the pit and the sheriff asks the woman if she can give a good enough description for them to print up a wanted poster. She says that she will never forget that face.

The posters are quickly printed up and Jonah Hex is talking to the sheriff. The sheriff is saying that the man claims to be a doctor who travels around so that's why they called in Hex. He explains that the doc cuts people up with precision and takes out all of their organs to which replies, that sounds somewhat familiar. He never actually met that man but heard tales that had been told by freed slaves.

Some Legends Are Bloody

Kentucky, December 17, 1862

Hex recounts the tale: Back during the States War there were few doctors for the battlefields and several men stepped in with no training, some to help their fellow men, others to avoid the front line. There was one man from Louisiana, who had studied hoodoo and was with the Confederacy. He would often take wounded Union soldiers and experiment on them to extract information, further his own knowledge, and to train other so-called doctors. Some soldiers used the expertise of this doctor to gather information and would tolerate his gruesome tactics as long as he produced results.

Some of the Confederacy leaders actually noticed there was a higher mortality rate for Union soldiers in battles where this doctor was present. Several of the soldiers steered clear of him our of fear, disgust, or morals. The slaves hated him not only because of what he did but also his co-opting of their magic. The man was called Sawbones and the end of Hex's tale we see Union soldiers discovering a camp that has a pentagram made out of human limbs.

Bloodbath at Ramrod Dancehall

Farmington, New Mexico, 1879. One month later.

Sheriff Henry McClude and his deputy Jim sit in the dancehall. Jim is concerned about some men that are gunning for them. Three men come in, guns drawn, to warn the sheriff that Andy is coming and he is looking for revenge over the sheriff killing his brother. Andy barges in, words are exchanged and Andy shoots Sheriff McClude in the neck. McClude falls to the floor and Andy puts a bullet in the back of McClude's head, just as the sheriff's grown son Rick comes in. 

Rick opens fire just as the deputy steps up to stop him. Rick ends up shooting and killing Jim but continues shooting anyone and everyone he lays eyes on. A kerosene lamp bursts and the dancehall bursts into flames and Rick heads for the front door. He waits outside as men, ablaze, come running out and he guns them down in the street.

Just then Jonah Hex rides up and Rick whirls and draws on him. Hex tells him to take it easy, he is looking to talk to the sheriff. Rick, thinking Hex is with the gang that killed his father, shoots Hex in the shoulder, knocking him off his mount. Hex draws and kills Rick before losing consciousness as a crowd gathers.

Belly of the Beast

The wanted poster for Sawbones sits on a table and we see a knife being honed on a strop. It is Sawbones himself and Hex is sitting on the floor, bound to a 4x4 post. His hands are tied behind his back, and he is bound at the ankles. Several skeletons hang on the walls. Sawbones introduces himself as William Zimmerman and says that based on Jonah clothing and his scar, he must be Jonah Hex. Zimmerman says that he is happy to meet Hex because they are both death dealers, long lost brothers, if you will. 

Zimmerman keeps with his dissertation as he slices the bottoms of Jonah's feet and then cauterizes the wounds. Zimmerman excuses himself, he has 'pupils' coming to town, he gags Hex and then leaves. Jonah then starts slamming backward into the 4x4 post he is bound to and eventually cracks it and manages to make his escape. He staggers across the countryside on his bleeding bare feet, arriving at a river. 

He crawls into the river and floats downstream, finally becoming entangled in a fallen tree.

Lady in Black

and, lo, who shall come upon him and rescue him? None other than Tallulah Black.

Statistics for This Issue
Men Killed by Jonah - one
Running Total - 743 (432 past, 55 future, 15 Vertigo, 241 V2)
Jonah's Injuries - shot in the shoulder, feet sliced and burned and other injuries from slamming into a post until it breaks.
Timeline - This covers a month.
Rape Percentage -  25% (10 of 40)

First off, this is Beck's third shot at the art for Jonah, and it as it was before....meh. On to the story: I'm not a big fan of vivisectionists as villains, they are much too cruel for my tastes. I did like the story of how cruel some of the doctors in the Civil War were. It is pretty well known the harsh conditions they had to work under and how often they had to perform surgeries and amputations without any pain killers. Not too far of a stretch to imagine someone steeped in arcane practices to revel in the pain and draw others in with them, in the name of 'science'.

It is a trope of the villain thinking he and the hero are two sides of the same coin (or the same side of two coins) is, well, a trope and it gets a little tired. It IS nice to see a bad guy last an extra issue and we get a Done in Two rather than a Done in One. And it is great to see Jonah just have a run of bad luck that almost ends in death for him. Guy can't be lucky all the time (except in the case of waterfalls or bears in caves).

Next Issue: The return of Dr. Sawbones and probably the most brutal end to a story that we have yet seen.

Jonah Hex V2 #32 'The Matador'

Jonah Hex V2 #32 Aug '08

"The Matador"
Justin Gray and Jimmy Palmiotti - story, Jordi Bernet- art and cover

Spectacle of Blood and Sorrow 

Jonah is sitting at a bullfight in Mexico with Esteban and his wife, Rosa. Esteban states that he wants Hex to kill the man who "Stole my wife's heart and tasted her sweat". It is the matador, Carlos Rocca, the best in Mexico and who is about to face his adversary in the ring at that moment. Hex refuses and Esteban says he can't find anyone in Mexico that is willing to kill the most famous bullfighter in the country.

We watch the fight as Carlos spears the bull repeatedly and it finally expires. The crowd starts chanting for the bear to be released against a bull. Esteban explains the thrill of this conflict to Hex, and what the stakes are for the bear and how she is fighting to protect her cub from the bull. Hex wonders what all the fuss is about. Esteban got his woman back so why revenge?

Esteban's wife's veil falls revealing her face and that her lips have been cut off, leaving a gaping mouth of teeth.

Hex asks if the Matador did that and Esteban says "No" and shows Hex a knife.

In the ring, the bull charges the bear to the delight of the bloodthirsty crowd. The bear bites and slashes at the bull and they both die in the short contest. As the ring is cleaned up, Hex rises to leave. Esteban asks him to reconsider for if a gringo kills the matador, Esteban can rally his countrymen to fight back against the Americans that are invading his country. Hex refuses again and leaves.

Deaths Dancing Maidens

That night, Jonah stumbles into a graveyard, drinking. Suddenly he is surrounded by dozens of women in black shawls and they start dancing around him, finally pulling staffs from their cloaks and beating him. As he falls, a few pull pistols just as Jonah strikes his head against a tombstone and lapses from consciousness.

When You Mess with the Bull


Jonah awakens to find himself stripped and tied to a large target on the wall of the Bullring. Esteban is there, giving him one last chance to accept the offer. Hex tells him to get things over with because Hex is gonna get loose and kill him and all his bitches. Esteban laughs and tells Hex that he has prior commitments for Dia de Los Muetros, but Hex will be dead soon.

  Esteban and the women leave and a speared bull comes charging into the ring and crushes Jonah against the wall. The Bull backs up and hits him again.

Just then, Carlos, the matador, appears and lures the bull away. Carlos is about to kill the bull when Jonah asks him to stop.

Chula Maria Espinoza

Three weeks later...

Jonah is taking some target practice, left handed, against a suargo cactus, shooting off spines one at a time. A woman stands in the doorway of an adobe house, telling Jonah how watching him excites her. Jonah tells her to get back inside out of the heat. She keeps taunting him and we learn that she is Chula Maria Espinoza, the sister of Carlos, the matador. She continues to taunt Jonah and he keeps telling her to keep her distance. Finally he has to shoot at her feet to get her to back away. Hex grabs her and she fake swoons so Hex slaps her and threatens to tie her to a chair.

Carlos rides up with an extra horse. Jonah gets his gear assembled and mounts the horse. Carlos asks what Hex will do now and Jonah draws his gun and aims it at Carlos. Carlos stammers back that he saved Jonah's life, surely Hex can't turn on him now. Carlos said he didn't discard Rosa, Esteban has too many men for Carlos to kill himself. Hex tells Carlos that if someone cuts the face of the woman you love, you do something. Carlos offers to purchase Hex's services and Jonah refuses and rides off.

The Last Bullfight

A pack of wild dogs battle against a speared, bloody bull as Hex walks up and sits down next to a startled Esteban. Hex tells him he should have stuck around to make sure the bull finished things and Jonah stabs Esteban with his own knife. Esteban dies and Rosa hands Hex a bag of money. Hex tells her to keep it, this one is on him. Hex asks if she wants the bloody knife as a keepsake and she refuses. Hex gets up, turns to walk away and says "For whut it's worth, the matador still loves ya."

Statistics for This Issue
Men Killed by Jonah - One, Esteban.
Running Total - 695 (432 past, 55 future, 15 Vertigo, 193 V2)
Jonah's Injuries - Beaten over the head by the 'maidens' and his head strikes a tombstone. Then he is, well, not gored, but is crushed by a bull, twice.
Timeline - A day and a night, then three weeks recovery so let's say 22 days.

I liked this one a lot. Bernet's artwork added quite a bit to this one and one small thing was the gutters between the panels changed color, white for day, murky brown for the graveyard, blue for the night with the bull, and dark red for Esteban's death. It added the passage of time and an emphasis on what was happening. Nicely done.

I also enjoyed the characters, each one was unique and even Esteban's wife, though she said nothing, Bernet's portrayal of her spoke volumes. Even Chula, with her odd comedic interlude, was a joy to behold. All in all, an issue worth seeking out.

Next Issue: A hunting trip gone wrong, evil Mounties (but I repeat myself) and Darwyn Cooke

Jonah Hex: Two-Gun Mojo #4 "Vendetta Times Two"

Jonah Hex: Two-Gun Mojo #4 Nov 1993
"Vendetta Times Two"
Joe E. Lansdale, story - Tim Truman and Sam Glanzman, art and cover

Night- 30 Miles West of Nacogdoches Texas. Doc Williams slices noses and ears from the corpses he has, mixes various liquids into a bowl, dumps in several powders, and then, while invoking the Dark Elder Gods, he urinates into the mixture. Then he spits into the bowl, strikes a match and touches it to the bowl, resulting in an explosion powerful enough to knock Williams off his feet.

The pumpkin-headed midget gathers up the brew and they take it over to the barrel containing Jonah Hex. Williams takes a hose hooked to a funnel and shoves it into Jonah's mouth while expounding on how he learned the recipe to zombie-juice in Haiti (or maybe Texas?!?). The mixture is dumped into the funnel and it slides its way into Jonah's gullet. The bowl empty, Williams has the barrel resealed and we learn that Hex has been playing possum. Hex quickly shoves a finger down his throat so he can vomit up as much of the horrible bile as he can.

The barrel containing Jonah is strapped to the wagon and Williams tells Hex that he will be a mindless automaton by tomorrow night. During the night the wagon continues on its travels, Jonah sliding in and out of consciousness.

Next morning, Williams opens the barrel to see how Jonah is doing, but Jonah isn't entirely 'pickled' yet. Williams starts to gloat and asks Jonah if he knows who shot Slow Go, WILD BILL HICKOK!! That's who!! Williams relates how he traveled to Deadwood, South Dakota in 1876. He had just come from Haiti and had not yet purchased his wagon in New Orleans. He was wanting to study how Indians conjured up storms and he runs into Hickok in a saloon.

Hickok, however, isn't impressed with Williams and literally boots the "Doc" out the door and into the mud. It was then that Williams swore vengeance, however, it was Jack McCall that stole that delight from Williams. But the Doctor was not easily deterred and that night dug up the body of Hickok and discovered that even though he was shot in the head, the cowboy was still alive.

That night Williams, using a book that he got from a preacher in Waco, concocts a brew and shoves it down the gullet of Hickok, turning Hickok into a mindless, obedient zombie. Time passes and Williams buys the wagon and recruits, through bribery, assault, or kidnapping, the
rest of his motley band. The 'good' Doctor then takes his sideshow on the road and learns
that Zombie Hickok never misses a shot, is very strong and agile, but, sadly, very very
RIPE!

The Doc stops his rambling and the wagon to relieve himself in the woods and while the troupe is setting up camp, Jonah takes advantage to kick a hole in the side of the barrel. However, he didn't realize the wagon was parked on the edge of a very steep hill and...

Of course, the river does help cover Jonah's tracks and provides him with a means of transportation (as well as a meal in the form of raw rattlesnake). Jonah ends up clinging to a log and washing up on shore some unknown distance and time later. He is found by a farmer and his son. They pick up the soaked and tired Hex and ask him about his scar...

Jonah stays with them a few days, regaining his strength. He is loaned a horse, pistols and some cash and told that his face is on some wanted posters. Jonah rides off and ends up in Lubbock where he finds several fliers for the Wagon of Miracles. He also finds a cowboy wanting to make some quick cash by bringing him in. That ends in the way that we have come to expect. However, Hex is not catching up to the Miracle Wagon and tracks them across Texas and into New Mexico.

Out in the desert he comes upon some Apaches who are torturing a black Union soldier.  Jonah takes careful aim and shoots the soldier in the head, ending his misery, but inflaming the anger of the Indians who take out after him. Jonah ends up killing a few, but they eventually shoot his horse out from under him. Jonah holes up and gets surrounded but one mounted Indian gets too brave and Jonah takes advantage of it....

Jonah is once again making a run for it and turns the wrong way into a canyon, again getting a horse killed. He slides face first down a hillside and ends up...

Jonah, Williams and the freaks, and a Union Calvary are in a hole in the desert, surrounded by angry Apaches.

Statistics for This Issue

Men Killed by Jonah - 6
Running Total - 502 (432 past, 55 future, 15 Vertigo)
Jonah's Injuries - 'Pickled' and falls off cliff
Timeline - Unknown how long this issue takes, but I'll toss out a couple of weeks, just for grins.

This issue is almost like two books. The first is the dark rantings of Doc Williams (which I don't really enjoy) and once Jonah escapes we're back to the tracking and rough/tumble/shooting ways of Hex the bounty hunter. Needless to say, I enjoyed the second half of the book more. I'm actually looking forward to...

Next Issue: The final stand-off and the Disgust-O-Meter pegs out at 11!!

because we get a LOT of shooting and an end to this mess...... for now.

Jonah Hex #67 "Deadman's Hand!"

Jonah Hex #67 Dec 1982
"Deadman's Hand!"
Michael Fleisher, story - Dick Ayers & Tony DeZuniga, art - Ross Andru (?) , cover

We start the new year with Deadman's Hand, a story where Jonah Hex cuts off the appendage of Boston Brand and then goes and kicks the ass of Rama Kushna just for grins. No, wait, that's wrong.

We start the new year with "Deadman's Hand", the third installment in the Cassie Wainwright saga. The splash page displays a newspaper from Friday, October 5th, stating that Jonah Hex has thwarted the Willow Bend bank robbery. Hmmm, Friday, October 5th. That would be 1872? No, that was a leap year so Oct 5th was on a Saturday. Well, it looks like it would be 1877 or 1866 (nope) or 1883 for this paper to be correct. But we all know this is 1874, right? Riiiiiiight!

Anyways, Said newspaper is being read by one Mr. Croy, a slick gamblin' man who is amazed at the headline, because HE was also involved in the terrible robbery that led to the death of Cassie Wainwright. Needless to say, he gets spooked, thinking that Hex will be on his trail soon. But, he does have time for a game of poker so he can get some traveling money.

During the game, Croy recalls that it has his idea to rob the Fort payroll so his cohorts in crime could pay off their gambling debts to him. During the card game, however, he is caught using a holdout to cheat. The other players start demanding their money and when things get ugly, Croy produces a pistol using another holdout, killing a man. He leaves the saloon, stealing a horse and killing the owner.

A week later and two hundred miles away in Careysburg, New Mexico Jonah rides up to a saloon and finds three smelly cowhands harassing a saloon girl. Jonah walks in and asks the barkeep if the chairs are solid oak. The barkeep affirms that they are and Jonah busts one upside the head of cowpoke #1. Cowpoke #2 gets a beatdown with a chair leg and cowpoke #3 gets thrown into a wonderful upright piano.

The saloon girl, Lisa, tells Jonah that she is fine and would love to have Hex buy her a drink...in another saloon.

Much later that night in Jonah's hotel room, Lisa is admiring Jonah's exploits and saying that if SHE were a man, she would be just like Jonah. She grabs his hat and puts it on, strutting around the room in her undies and then

DIES OF A BULLET RIGHT THROUGH THE HEART!!!!!

Yup, seems the heartless bastard Croy has tracked Jonah down and was across the street in a loft with a rifle. He saw a shadowy figure with a cowboy hat in Jonah's window and let fly with the led.

Back in the room, Jonah grabs his pistols and heads across the street to find absolutely nothing. The next morning, Jonah is seeing to Lisa at the undertaker's when the cowpokes 3 come in, looking for revenge. Jonah calls them scum for killing Lisa and guns down all three confused looking men.

Jonah heads outside and as he is walking down the street, Croy, stationed on a rooftop, shoots Jonah, this time for real. However, it is just a scalp wound and Jonah is taken to the local doctor office where, for 72 hours, he is in a delirium which leads us to..

FLASHBACK!!!!!!!
1859. A corporal comes in to Col. Wainwright's office to announce that the paymaster wagon is overdue. Jonah mounts up with several cavalry with him and heads out looking for wagon. Jonah is able to pick up on the tracks and they find the burnt remains of the wagon as well as...

END OF FLASHBACK!!!
Jonah almost snaps out of it but is still weak.

Down the street, the town crier enters the saloon, announcing that Hex will live. Croy, soaking the locals in poker is stupified, but decides to finish the job later that night.

After dark, he makes his way to the doc's and sneaks in Hex's window. He pulls a knife and stabs the form in the bed, only to find Jonah standing in the shadows. Croy drops the knife and starts fast-talking Hex. Jonah hesitates for a moment and Croy uses the holdout to get a pistol into his hand, but misses his only shot at point-blank range. Jonah returns fire, using two bullets, since lead was cheap back in the day.

Statistics for This Issue
Men Killed By Jonah: 4
Running Total: 374
Jonah's Injuries: Bullet wound to the head.
Timeline: This one covers 10 days in 1874, but the newspaper was from 1877. We won't let a little thing like that bother us, will we? Just remember, 1874, before the wedding to Mei Ling. No mention of her, we are pre-wedding. UPDATE: looks like the newspaper was correct and this was Oct. 1877.

The story itself was pretty good, another small chapter in the Cassie saga. I didn't care for the holdout showing up again, but it had been several years since we last saw one so I guess it is okay to reuse that device. I hated that Lisa bought the farm, getting shot for just wearing Jonah's hat (You listening SallyP & Sea? Don't be playing with men-folk clothes).



Next Issue: Moose hunting, more tragedy visits the Wainwrights and Jonah becomes a lawman!

Jonah Hex #35 "The Fort Charlotte Brigade!"

Jonah Hex #35 April 1980
"The Fort Charlotte Brigade"
Michael Fleisher, story - Dick Ayers & Luis Dominguez, art- Luis Dominguez, cover

Judging by the cactus, Jonah is riding across Arizona looking for the Carley brothers who have robbed the Santa Fe Bank. Little does he realize, two of the brothers are high up in the cliffs, laying an ambush for him. Two of the brothers are ready to gun Jonah down as he rides into a narrow canyon, but suddenly Jonah walks up behind them and tells them to surrender. They both aim their rifles at Jonah, telling him to put his hands up. As Jonah raises his right hand, he grabs his knife in the back of his coat and buries it in the chest of one of the Carleys. The other brother surrenders and Jonah tells him that since he is shaking so much, he should put on Jonah's coat.


On the other side of the canyon, the third Carley brother is waiting for Jonah to come along. Just then he spots Jonah riding straight up the middle of the canyon and the brother opens up, knocking the rider from the horse. He celebrates and then runs down to the corpse, only to find it is his brother, bound to the saddle, gagged and dressed up to look like Jonah. He has killed his own brother. Jonah gets the drop on him too and the next morning he takes the two corpses and one survivor on into Painted Butte, Texas.

Calendars and geography are not the strong suit in DC westerns. Saguaro cactus are found in SE California, southern Arizona, and NW Mexico. The bank is robbed in Santa Fe (N NM), Jonah captures them amongst the saguaro cactus and then takes them clear across AZ & halfway across NM and into TX (about a 400 mile trip) ...the next morning. My head just exploded. And we haven't gotten to the fun part.

Jonah rides into town and steps into the sheriff's office. An elderly man sitting on a porch sees, Jonah, jumps up and runs into the telegraph office. Next we are in the outskirts of Richmond, Virginia, where a man with an eagle-topped cane receives a telegram from his servant Solomon. We know this is Quentin Turnbull, but are not allowed to see his face in order to add mystery for new readers. Turnbull states that the news of Hex in Texas is welcome news and it is just in time for tonight's meeting of the Fort Charlotte Brigade.

That evening, Turnbull and Solomon head toward an old barn filled with about a dozen men in confederate uniforms. Once Turnbull enters, they repeat their solemn vow "Long Live Jefferson Davis and the Old Confederacy and Death to Jonah Hex!"

We then get an 8 page recap of the Fort Charlotte Massacre. However, the black orderly is now white and the Captain has a full head of hair and full mustache. At the end of the recap it is stated "Of the three dozen Confederate prisoners who took part in the ill-fated Fort Charlotte breakout that day, only a handful escaped alive." (emphasis added). Looking at the picture, I can count 13 people. Granted, some of those may have died from their wounds, but then we have a dozen men or so in the barn. I will be gracious and say that some of the men in the barn may be sons, brothers, or fathers of the deceased (not unlike Turnbull). There is no clear way to get an accurate account of the survivors of the massacre.



Anyway, Turnbull announces that Hex is in Texas and they all swear to ride out there and have their vengeance. To be continued...

Statistics for this issue
Men killed by Jonah - 2
Running Total - 263
Jonah's injuries - none
Timeline - No real way to tell, but it appears to take place after the last run in with Turnbull so this is probably around 1878?

Next Issue: Jonah Hex, a hooker, and explosives. What more do you want?!?!?