Jonah Hex #64 "The Pearl!"

Jonah Hex #64 Sept 1982
"The Pearl!"
Michael Fleisher, story - Dick Ayers & Tony DeZuniga, art - Ross Andru & Dick Giordano, cover

San Francisco, a few days since last issue. Jonah Hex is playing poker in a hotel and is having a run of bad luck. He decides that some night air might clear his head and possibly get his mind off of Mei Ling. Strolling along and turning down a hooker he suddenly hears a scream from an alleyway.

Rushing in he finds a blond woman being accosted. Jonah pulls a gun on the man but two of his friends appear and manage to shoot Jonah in the same leg that the shark gnawed on. Jonah goes down, but kills one of the men in the process. The two remaining men start to take the woman hostage, but then throw her at Jonah so they can get away.

Jonah helps her to her feet and the woman, Sharon Hilliard, starts recounting her story as they leave the alley.

Sharon, daughter of copper tycoon, Maxwell Hilliard, lives on Nob Hill, but a month ago she started seeing Ned Rankin, a young sailor. After several dates that included lip locks and touchy feely games, Ned explains that he is to be wealthy soon. He owns a giant pearl that he has hidden north of town and he is looking for a buyer. Ned explains that the pearl is the size of a hen's egg and then draws a map in the dirt for Sharon. Shortly after that, several men jumped from the shadows and beat Ned to death, Sharon managed to escape only long enough to make it to the alley where Jonah saved her.

Sharon explains that she can't go home because her father kicked her out for dating a sailor. She suggests that she stay with Jonah, but once Jonah learns that she is eighteen, he gets her a motel room next to his.

Later in the night, Jonah hears a muffled scream from Sharon's room and he charges in, killing two masked men in her room. The third is holding Sharon as a shield, but was all know how well that works.



Jonah scouts the nearby alley for any other thugs and then returns to Sharon's room. Sharon wants to reward him, proving that she is not a 'little girl'.


The next morning, Jonah decides that they should try to find the pearl and on his way to the livery, he is approached by Atkins, a man working for Maxwell Hilliard. Atkins says that Hilliard wants to meet Jonah and pulls a pistol to enforce his intentions of taking Jonah is he wants to come or not. Well, this proceeds as to be expected, with Jonah almost breaking Atkins wrist and then Jonah getting clubbed from behind.

Jonah wakes up in the Hilliard mansion, where Maxwell Hilliard explains that Sharon is an unstoppable flirt and that the story Ned told was indeed fake, cooked up by his daughter to convince her father that Ned would be worthy of his daughter. Jonah explains that the masked gunmen trying to kidnap Sharon aren't fake and takes his leave. Hilliard says that Hex is like all the rest of the men around Sharon, only interested in her father's money and a fast roll in the hay.

Back at the hotel, Sharon is waiting for Jonah when she is chloroformed and kidnapped by two masked men. Jonah shows up shortly after, finds the chloroformed rag and noticed heel marks outside the hotel where they drug Sharon away. Jonah steals a horse and rides off, following the wagon tracks that the trail led to. A half hour later, he is outside the Hilliard Copper Smelter #4.

The place is boarded up but Jonah jumps the fence and peeks inside. He sees Sharon on the floor, surrounded by three masked men, demanding the pearl. She says that she has no idea what they are talking about, then one man lowers his mask to reveal himself as Atkins! Just then someone sneaks up behind Jonah and strangles him, rendering him unconscious.

When Jonah comes to, he and Sharon are both tied down to a conveyor belt that leads into the smelting furnace. Atkins has taken Jonah's knife & guns and they start the conveyor belt. Atkins states that he and his men will be in the next room, so when Sharon is ready to talk all she has to do is scream and they will stop the belt. Now THAT has to be the dumbest thing I have heard since leaving Pablo to make sure Jonah doesn't escape a death trap! Just stay in the room to be sure they don't try anything tricky! Gah!!!!!

Anyway, Atkins leaves and Jonah tells Sharon to tell them where the pearl is. Sharon them confesses that there is no pearl which makes Jonah so mad he pulls his right arm free of the ropes, grabs a hunk of ore from a bin and throws it at the conveyor lever, turning the belt off!

In the next room, Atkins sees smoke seeping under the door and when they open the door to escape, Jonah comes swinging in on a large hook and boots the ever loving Bejesus outta the men! He delivers a quick one-two to Atkins and then rides off with Sharon. She asks if he is angry with her for inventing the story and Jonah replies that he's been around for awhile and...

Statistics for this Issue
Men Killed by Jonah - 4
Running Total - 364
Jonah's Injuries - knocked out and strangled
Timeline - Just a few days since Jonah got of the ship from China, so this one is near the end of November 1876.

Except for the rushed ending, this story wasn't too bad. I'm glad to see some continuity from the China arc and Sharon becomes another in the long line of women that have fallen for the scar-faced bounty hunter.

Next Issue: Jonah runs into some old acquaintances from his pre-Civil War days. Needless to say, they aren't happy to see him.

Jonah Hex #63 "Ship of Doom!"

Jonah Hex #63
"Ship of Doom!"
Michael Fleisher, story - Dick Ayers & Tony DeZuniga, art - Ross Andru & Dick Giordano, cover

Jonah Hex & Mei Ling, in the hold of the ship Malay Tiger, have discovered that the ship is smuggling opium. Capt. Quirt, Barnaby Sledge and several crewmen descend into the hold with Sledge explaining why Jonah & Mei Ling were really brought aboard the ship. Seems like the Capt had killed a crewman via keelhauling and they need Jonah to replace him. As for Mei Ling....heh heh heh, if'n ya know what I mean.

Well, Jonah responds to that by slamming Sledge's head into a huge timber, splitting his skull and killing him. The rest of the crew rushes Hex and they finally take him by slamming a crate over his head. Quint orders that Jonah be stripped and held down and Quint commences whipping Jonah across the back.

Of course, one of the crew decides to protect Mei Ling from the horrible sight by holding her head against his chest.

Once Jonah recovers, he is put to hard work and then after an undisclosed amount of time one of the crew starts complaining about cramps. He breaks out in a terrible sweat and three other crewmen realize that he has cholera. They grab him and toss him overboard in order to save themselves.

The ship's doctor comes running and explains that cholera is passed through food and water, throwing the man to his death did nothing to save the others, in fact he can spot it in several of the other crew, including Jonah. The Doc orders all of the infected men to bedrest, thinking to himself that at the best, in two weeks maybe 15% percent will survive.

Needless to say (but I'm gonna say it anyway) after nine days Jonah is suffering from a high fever and is having delusions, delusions that take him back to the winter of 1848 when he was just 10 years old. Jonah comes home from rabbit hunting to find...

At one point Woodson takes a broken bottle and heads for Ginny. That's when Jonah steps in between them and...
Woodson then grabs the broken bottle and starts chasing Ginny around the house. Ginny is screaming at the top of her lungs and Jonah suddenly snaps out of his fever dream to find himself in the bunk in the ship but the screams continue. Once Jonah makes his way through the ship, he discovers that Mei Ling has been trying to take care of the sick crew on the deck but Capt. Quint is trying to force himself upon her.

Jonah stumbles up the stairs, but he is still sick and Quint starts pummeling him. Quint pulls out his whip once again and Jonah grabs a crate hook.

Whip - 0, Crate Hook - 1

Of course, Jonah grabs Quint's dying body and heaves it overboard. Mei Ling shouts for him to stop, but it too late. Jonah has just thrown overboard the only man well enough to navigate the ship. The entire crew is either dead or dying except for the doctor, Mei Ling, and a very sick Jonah Hex.

Jonah and the doc heave the corpses overboard and for the next 22 days they survive on fish they catch as the men continue to die. Then late one night a huge storm hits the ship. Jonah is doing the best he can to hold the ship together. Jonah shouts for help from the doc who is below deck, trying to lash the water casks doen so they don't break but it is too late, the ship slams into some rocks and the entire ship breaks apart.

Jonah Hex, Mei Ling and the doctor are thrown into the water and the sharks start swarming. In two creepy panels, the Doc goes down.

Mei Ling makes it to a life boat but Jonah is too far away and realizes that he has to fight the shark. You read it right. Jonah Freaking Hex vs. a Freaking Shark!!!!!

and when this man who is badass incarnate dives below the waves to encounter the shark on its own terms he learns... he will be fighting TWO FREAKING SHARKS!



Mei Ling, Mistress of the Obvious! But on the plus side, them there shark be-yotches are bleeding a whole lot more than my man.

Mei Ling bandages Jonah bitten leg and they lay in the lifeboat, embracing each other. Seven long days later they are picked up by another ship bound for San Francisco. The ship's surgeon is able to treat Jonah for the bite and he says that Jonah will be on crutches for a few weeks. Once the doc leaves, Jonah apologizes for how he has messed up their lives and he wants to start over.

Mei Ling replies that sometimes people love one another but there is no way that they can be happy together. They tried hard to be married, but they only made each other miserable and Mei Ling tells Jonah goodbye.

Three weeks later in San Francisco Mei Ling is leaving the ship and Jonah presses her once more. Mei Ling says that she will not change her mind and that she is going back to her brother's house to take care of their son, Jason.

Statistics for this Issue

Men Killed by Jonah - 2 and two sharks!
Running Total - 362, a snow leopard, and TWO SHARKS!
Jonah's Injuries - Whipped, knocked out, contracted cholera, shark bite on left leg.
Timeline - Wow, let's add this up shall we? An unknown number of days (let's say a week) + 9 days + 22 days + 1 week + 3 weeks = 66 days (two whole months!) Add that to the 129 days from the time this adventure started we end up with 195 days, placing this end of the voyage around the middle of November. So, whatever year this took place, Jonah was out of the country from May 1st to the middle of November 1876

Let's take a look at the flashback to 1848. Ginny left Woodson in June of '48, so this had to take place between Jan and, oh, let's say, end of March (depending on where the Hex family called home), so that places Jonah's birthday in that timeframe rather than in November.

As a storyline, this has been one of my favorites with Jonah being a fish outta water (hee hee, I made a funny, see? Jonah was fighting sharks and I made a reference to fish? Ahhh, never mind), Mei Ling endangered, and foreign intrigue. A+ all around on this storyline.

Did I mention the SHARKS?!?!?! Take THAT Devil Dinosaur!

Next Issue: Jonah has to face the dangers of San Francisco and Sharon Hillard!!!! (there's no way to make this sound exciting, but be here nonetheless, okay?)

Jonah Hex #62 "In the Belly of the Malay Tiger!"

Jonah Hex #62 July 1982
"In the Belly of the Malay Tiger!"
Michael Fleisher, story - Dick Ayers & Tony DeZuniga, art - Ross Andru & Dick Giordano, cover

Jonah is stuck in a dead end, several Chinese guards ready to gun him down when another guard comes running up, shouting to the leader of that group. The guards lower their rifles and then take Jonah prisoner, hauling him before the Emperor himself.

The Emperor speaks English and tells Jonah that he knows of the plot, but they cannot locate his female helper. Jonah plays dumb but that gets him a rifle butt to the shoulder. The Emperor says that Jonah will get a quick death if he tells where Mei Ling is. Hex says she has already escaped so the Emperor has Jonah taken away for some quality torture time.

Meanwhile, Mei Ling is trying to get back to the harem and is discovered by a wandering guard. The guard starts to take her into custody, but Mei Ling starts using her feminine wiles, untying her top. When the guard grabs her and embraces her, she grabs his knife and appears to stab him in the back (but she probably doesn't since she leaves him bound and gagged.)


Down in the torture chamber, Jonah is getting the living daylights knocked outta him. Then he gets hung by his heels and the torture-master grabs a hot poker. Right before the poker hits Jonah's face, he grabs his knife and throws it into the dungeon master's chest. Just then Mei Ling bursts in and...


.. makes me think she's a really hot sword-wielding, rifle-toting Asian harem girl. (Let's see how many google searches THAT brings). She and Jonah start making tracks, but sadly the rifle is a muzzle-loader and has only one shot. Before they can get captured, Jonah tosses a huge urn over the balcony, tells Mei Ling to hang on and they use a chandelier to make their getaway.

Once they are out in the palace grounds they realize that they have gone from the frying pan into the fire because the Emperor has a pet snow leopard. Jonah grabs his knife while Mei Ling heads for a tree.

Yeah, pistol-whipping a snow leopard was an Olympic sport in 1875. With the big cat dispatched, Jonah leaps off the wall carrying Mei Ling. Later in town, the couple is hiding in an alley when they are approached by a large man named Barnaby Sledge. Sledge takes them to his mistress's house.

Jonah explains that they are being pursued and that they are looking to get back to the states. Sledge offers them a ride on the Malay Tiger, the ship he works on.
Sledge gives Hex and Mei a room for the night (it would be safer traveling at night since they are fugitives) and once they are alone, Mei Ling says that Sledge scares her. Jonah states that they have to trust someone and asks if HE scares her as well. Mei Ling whispers that Jonah scares her as well and while the couple kiss passionately, Sledge is seen peeping through a curtain, watching them (Perve!)

That night Sledge smuggles the couple out of town, hidden in a wagon and as dawn breaks they come to the ocean where the Malay Tiger is anchored off the coast.

Meanwhile, the Emperor has had his forces invade the palace of the White Lotus and as the palace falls under the superior army, the Warlord commits suicide and Phat makes his escape, swearing vengence on Jonah Hex & Mei Ling.

Much later, Jonah & Ling are in the hold of the ship and Jonah is poking around the cargo (which is supposed to be silk). He pokes one of the bags with his knife and a powder falls out. Mei Ling recognizes it as opium and tells him to leave it alone. Sadly, the warning is too late.

Statistics for This Issue
Men Killed by Jonah - 2
Running Total - 360
Jonah's Injuries - Beat up & tortured
Timeline - This is the ongoing storyline and covers one evening and the next morning.

This was a really great story (the whole arc has been fantastic) and happily we had the full issue with no backup story. This whole idea of Jonah being out of his natural element was delightful and I would like to see the current Jonah Hex book take Hex to Europe or even Russia. Of course, they are going to have a 6 issue arc soon, so that should be great.

Next Issue - Jonah Hex vs Freaking Sharks!!!

Jonah Hex #61 "In the Lair of the Manchus!"

Jonah Hex #61 June 1982
"In the Lair of the Manchus!"
Michael Fleisher, story - Dick Ayers & Tony DeZuniga, art - Ross Andru & Dick Giordano, cover

To start where we left off last time...

MEI LING!!!

Okay, so Jonah is has been kidnapped and taken to China where an evil warlord & head of the White Lotus has decided that he wants to employ Jonah Hex & to insure his cooperation, Mei Ling has been kidnapped as well.

Wu Bong Phat explains how he was in the US on a trade mission when he kept hearing of Hex's exploits. Phat realized that Jonah would be just the man that the White Lotus society needed. Therefore they kidnapped him and brought him to this point.

The deed for which they hired Jonah? Assassination of current Manchu emperor in his palace in Peking.

Phat takes Jonah on a walk through the grounds of the White Lotus, explaining that over the last 200 years the Manchu dynasty has become corrupt. In 1796, the White Lotus tried to overthrow the Manchus but eight years later the White Lotus was crushed..for a time. Now they are back and plan to overthrow the government. Phat shows Jonah a teacher explaining to villagers how, when the White Lotus gains power, the Maitreya Buddha will come down from heaven and all disease & suffering. Phat takes Jonah to another teacher, explaining to six men how paradise awaits them if they die in the fight for the White Lotus. Phat tells Jonah that a man who knows paradise awaits him can be an unbeatable foe.

Suddenly, Phat gives a signal and the six men rush at Jonah with knives and hatchets. Jonah grabs the first man, flips him over, gut punches a second and delivers a roundhouse knockout to a third. The next man lands a hard chop on Jonah's left shoulder, completely numbing his arm and leaving him to fight one handed. Jonah lands a hard blow to the chest and a quick two-punch to the jaw, taking out the fourth opponent.

The final two decide to attack together, but Jonah manages to swing up into a tree, one handed, swing around a branch and place a boot into each man's jaw. Jonah stand triumphant, surrounded by the fallen men. At an overhead balcony, the warlord has been watching everything and is delighted with Jonah's abilities and that he passed this test.

Phat then takes Jonah to his room for the night. Mei Ling is there and as Phat & the guard leave, the guard gives Jonah one more bust to the chops with a rifle butt. Mei Ling runs to Jonah's side. Jonah asks Ling how she got mixed up all of this and she explains that she had received a telegram stating that Jonah was in danger. When she went to the place appointed in the telegram, she was abducted.

Jonah notes that Mei Ling must still have some feelings for him and decides to cozy up to her, but Mei Ling says that even though she has feelings for Jonah, she can't talk about them here or now.

The next morning Phat explains his plan to Jonah and Ling. Ling will be escorted northward to Peking and placed into the emperor's harem and in a few weeks, she will be able to act as a guide for Jonah and allow him entrance into the palace. Phat mentions that one as lovely as Ling would be very attractive to the emperor and maybe......

Jonah understands and rushes Phat in anger, getting a rifle butt to the head. Mei Ling is led away to Peking.

Ten days later, Mei Ling and her escorts arrive at the palace. The escorts leave her in the charge of a stable groom. He sneaks her into the palace and shows her a hidden passage that will lead her to the harem. He cannot take her farther, for he is not to even be in the palace. Mei Ling heads down the passage and right after the groom closes the hidden door, he is discovered by guards. He attempts to kill himself, but he is knocked out and drug away.

The next morning, Phat is reviewing the plan once more with Jonah. Jonah's pistols and knife are returned and he is told that once he completes his mission, he will be paid by Phat's spy and that Hex & Mei Ling will be placed on a boat bound for America. An escort party will take Jonah to Peking and Jonah says that is anything happens to Mei Ling, Hex will come back and wring Phat's fat neck.

As Hex rides off, Phat chuckles to himself because the plan is that after the assassination, Jonah will be captured by the White Lotus and will rise to power with the blessing of a grateful populace.

Ten days later, after coming within sight of the Great Wall of China (which is north of Peking, therefore Jonah, coming from the south, rode PAST Peking and then back!), Jonah is at the palace. His escorts leave and Jonah uses his rope to scale the palace wall in the darkness. He strangles one guard and stabs another.

Meanwhile, the stable groom is taken from the dungeon where he is being tortured (for 10 days!?!) and brought before the emperor. The man begs for his life but it appears that the emperor is not granting and grace.

Mei Ling, in the harem, sneaks out to rendezvous with Jonah.

Jonah leaps down from the palace wall and runs across the courtyard to the door that Ling is supposed to open. He notes that this has been way too easy. Mei Ling opens the door to allow Jonah in. Jonah states that he is gonna go back on their plan and just head for the hills but a roaming group of guards forces Jonah and Mei Ling to go back into the palace. Inside they are discovered by another group of guards and Jonah starts shooting it out with them while telling Mei Ling to run for it.

She refuses to leave, but finally relents, heading down a hallway and narrowly avoiding more guards by ducking into the secret tunnel to the harem.

Jonah, has problems of his own as he runs out of bullets and resorts to pushing over a huge Buddha statue to give him some time to run away. He makes a couple of turns down a couple of halls and finds himself in a dead end!

Jonah spins around and is faced with seven guards drawing a bead on him with their rifles!!!!!!

Statistics for this Issue
Men Killed by Jonah - I put it at 7 palace guards that I can visually verify
Running Total - 358
Jonah's Injuries - Karate Chopped once, rifle butt to the head twice.
Timeline - Well, this once covers 21 days. Jonah was kidnapped, traveled to California for 21 days, was on board a ship of 60 days, recovering from shipwreck for 28 days, add 10 days for Mei Ling's trip to Peking and 10 days for Jonah's trip to Peking we are looking at 129 days since Jonah was kidnapped. I'll take May 1st as the Abduction Date, so we are now at Sept 6th (give or take) of 1876.

Another good chapter in the China saga, but through all of this, I find myself wondering how this would be portrayed today? I know that Palmiotti & Gray's Hex would be a lot less talky and the whole thing would probably be told from the aspect of a history book or a diary. And it would a whole helluva lot bloodier. Hmmmm, I wonder if we could get them to redo this one?

Next Issue: "Who let the cats out?" For real this time!

Jonah Hex #60 "The Domain of the Warlord!"

Jonah Hex #60 May 1982
"The Domain of the Warlord!"

Michael Fleisher, story - Dick Ayers & Tony DeZuniga, art - Tony DeZuniga, cover

Jonah Hex awakens in a very small room that contains only a cot and a headache like no other. Not knowing where he is or how he got there, Jonah ha no plan for escape until he hears someone outside the door. He jumps onto the cot, feigning sleep and when the door opens, he trashes the Chinese man and runs down the hall. Hex's head is still groggy as the hallway appears to rock beneath his feet. He finds a ladder and drags himself up, openeing a hatch to discover...

He has been Shanghied aboard a Chinese sailing ship. The crew is just as startled and rush Hex, trying to subdue him. Jonah gives it his all, knocking one crewman overboard before he finally falls beneath the weight of his four attackers. The crewmen drag Jonah into the captain's quarters where he is confronted with Wu Bong Phat.

Phat tells Jonah that they are far out to sea and since Jonah killed one of the crewmen, Hex will be taking the crewman's place. If Jonah refuses, he will be killed.

"Days stretch into weeks, and the weeks, months as the Chinese trading ship plies its way slowly across the wide Pacific, then threads its way southward into the East China Sea.

"For Jonah, they are months of arduous physical labor, working alongside men he cannot even talk to. They are months of boredom and solitude... They are months of staring wistfully out at the great salt sea, longing to be home again."

QUIZ TIME!!!!! How long has Jonah Hex been on this ship?

1. 2 months
2. 3 months
3. Months & months & months
4. 1875
   

Then one evening, the lookout sees another ship approaching. Phat tells Jonah that it is a pirate ship and that he should get below deck. Jonah refuses, saying that whatever happens, he will have a hand in it. Just then the pirate ship fires and a cannonball drops the main mast of Jonah's ship. This, in turn, causes a fire (?!?!?!) and while Jonah takes note that the last military conflict he took part in was one in which he was on the losing side, another cannonball slams into the ship, knocking Jonah overboard.

Jonah decides that swimming is better that drowning on a burning ship and takes off swimming into the approaching darkness.

For one whole night, Jonah floats in the sea and when dawn breaks, he finds himself near a beach. He barely makes it to land before passing out from exhaustion. Some time passes and a Chinese couple find Jonah and take him back to their home. In bed, Jonah is suffering from delusions, screaming out that he will save Mei Ling. For nearly a week, Jonah fights the feveer as the Chinese couple nurse him back to health.

Three weeks after that (four weeks since landfall), a Chinese soldier bursts into the house and kills the homeowner. Jonah leaps up and knocks the soldier into the street, administering a good old fashioned beatdown. However, the soldier's buddies are nearby and they subdue Jonah and take him into custody, riding off towards the mountains with Jonah in tow.

Hours later, the group of soldiers arrive at a large mountain castle and push Jonah into a room where he encounters...

Wu Bong Phat!!!!! Also in the room is Yan Hsi-Shen, priestly warlord of the secret society known as the White Lotus. Phat explains that he escaped the burning ship via lifeboat and that he shall interpret the wishes on Hsi-Shen.

Shen asks if Jonah Hex would be willing to perform a service for the White Lotus for which he will be paid a generous fee. Jonah tells Phat that he doesn't know how to say "Cram it!" in Chinese. Phat states that he had foreseen that Jonah may be disagreeable, therefore he took the liberty of following certain steps to insure that Jonah would reconsider the proposal.

At Phat's direction a curtain parts and a large Chinese guard drags in ....

Mei Ling!!!!!

Statistics for this Issue
Men Killed by Jonah - 1
Running Total - 351
Jonah's Injuries - Shipwreck Fever & knocked out.
Timeline - This obviously takes place in the ongoing continuity (1875? 1874? 1878?) but more importantly is the passage of time. Let's say that he was on the ship for two months (taking the plural at it's lowest value) and add 4 weeks in the home of the Chinese couple and you have about 3 months! Last issue, we saw Jonah being kidnapped over a span of 3 weeks and being taken through the Nevada mountains to San Francisco. I would think that for the mountain passes to be clear we would be talking end of April/first of May for the kidnapping. Add 3 3/4 months and we are now in middle of August/first of September timeframe on this. Whatever year we're in, it is running out fast!! UPDATE: 05/5/09 I settled on 1876.

This story was a great read, taking Jonah completely out of his element and showing that he can cope with whatever comes up. Of course, God keeps Jonah alive (in Hex's viewpoint, merely to play with Hex some more and make his life pure hell) through some of it. Nowadays folks just don't know what a wide range plots Jonah Hex covered, they think it was all gunfights and hangings and have no idea about the trip to Brazil or China (both of them accomplished outside of the will of Hex). Anyway, this one keeps rollicking along for several more issues, so don't miss a one of them.

Oh, there was also an El Diablo backup. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Next Issue: "Who let the cats out?" (whoot whoot) or "Harem-Scare-em!" (I miss Rocky & Bullwinkle)

Jonah Hex #56 "The Asylum"

Jonah Hex #56 Jan 1982
"The Asylum"
Michael Fleisher, story - Dick Ayers & Tony DeZuniga, art - Tony DeZuniga, cover

Jonah is sitting near the camp fire, having a cuppa' joe, when a young woman comes running up, begging for help. She throws herself into Jonah's arms and says that THEY are trying to take her back. Just then three men in uniforms come up and start dragging her away. Jonah protests and one of them busts Jonah in the jaw and another one follows up right behind. Jonah starts busting some heads himself when there is a loud shout, demanding to know what is going on.

The man demanding an answer is Dr. Philip Rondine, director of the Desert Haven Asylum for the Insane. The three men are employees of the asylum and were trying to return the woman to the hospital. Rondine explains that the woman is Susan Crenshaw is crazy and had been committed but had recently escaped. Rondine and his thugs take the woman away with them.

Jonah contemplates how terrible that a pretty woman would be so sick and have to locked away in a snake pit such as the asylum. As he readies his horse, he plans on heading to Desert Forks to find a hotel, and he's not accustomed to being alone after being married for over a year to Mei Ling.

Several hours later, Jonah is killing roaches in his hotel room and trying to shave when he hears a noise at the door. He jerks the door open, grabs the man standing there and throws him into a chair, offering to do some major damage with a straight razor unless the man starts talking.

The man stammers out that he is Herbert Crenshaw. His wife, Susan, was the daughter of Arnold Middleton, a rich mine owner who recently died. Susan inherited controlling interest in the mining empire. However, before she can claim her inheritance, her uncle (Virgil Middleton) has had her committed until she agrees to sign over everything to him.


Crenshaw wants Jonah to break her out of the asylum and Jonah says that they can discuss details over dinner. As they walk out of the hotel, gunfire breaks out and Crenshaw is hit in the arm. Jonah knocks Crenshaw down behind a water trough for cover. He hands Crenshaw a pistol and tells him to fire a shot at the roof across the street and Jonah will sneak up on them.

Jonah heads out across the street but a gunman on the ground ambushes him and hits Jonah in the right thigh. Jonah goes down but manages to kill his shooter. He hobbles across the street and finds a ladder to climb up the side of a building. Jonah then jumps out of a window onto the nearby roof, planting both boots into one owlhoot's face. He then gut-punches the other one and lifts the screaming man over his head, then throws him into the street, knocking the third gunman off his horse.

Back down in the street, Jonah asks Crenshaw if he knows who these three are. Crenshaw identifies them as Virgil Middleton's henchmen. Jonah agrees to take the job, right after he bandages his leg and gets some grub in his gut.

Later that night at the asylum, Susan is undergoing a torturous water dousing as Virgil attempts to get her to sign over her rights. Jonah is hanging from a rope outside the second-story window. Using his knife, he manages to pry the screen off of a window and swinging in, smashes a guard in the jaw. Two other guards come running along a balcony and attack Jonah.

During the tussle, Jonah and a guard crash into the railing and fall to the ground in front of Virgil Dr. Rondine and another guard. Dr. Rondine is there and pulls a gun on Jonah. Jonah spots some buckets of sand (for dousing fires, sez so on the sign) and grabs one, tossing sand into Rondine's eyes and knocking out the other guard with the bucket. Jonah then locks Virgil and Rondine into a cell, grabs Susan and they both head outside, making for horses that Jonah has brought.

When they get to the horses they are surprised to find Susan's husband, Herbert holding a pistol. Herbert explains that he never loved Susan, he just married to get his hands on her father's money. But his plans hit a snag when Virgil had her committed and was going to have their marriage annulled. So Herbert had to hire Jonah to save her and now he plans on shooting her with one of Hex's pistols and then killing Jonah 'in self-defense'.

Jonah tells him that he'll never get away with it, but Herbert orders Jonah to hand over his gun. Jonah does as he's told, holding his other hand over his head (in order to reach his knife that he keeps in the back of his jacket). As Jonah hands over his pistol, he suddenly throws the knife into Herbert's chest, killing him.

Susan cradles her dead husband in her arms and tells Jonah that he killed him. Jonah replies that he did and has mixed feeling about the whole thing, because with Herbert Crenshaw dead....

Statistics for This Issue
Men Killed by Jonah - I'm calling it three. The one shot in the street, the one thrown off the building, and Crenshaw.
Running Total - 341
Jonah's Injuries - Shot in the leg and falls off a balcony
Timeline - This one happens right after issue #53 covering one day.

I enjoyed the idea that two family members were out to get Susan's money and their plans ended up colliding. Jonah was taken for a fool, but honestly, there was no way for him to determine that Crenshaw was a slimeball. The rest of the story was just wall to wall fist fights, and that is never really a bad thing.

This also had an El Diablo backup story.

Next Week - Jonah encounters one woman that he can never forget...Ginny Hex!

Jonah Hex #53 "The Haunting"

Jonah Hex #53 Oct 1981
"The Haunting"
Michael Fleisher, story - Dick Ayers & Tony DeZuniga, art - Tony DeZuniga, cover

The bad guys have kidnapped Jonah's neighbor kid, Petey, lured Jonah into a cabin and just blown it all to hell. They ride off with Petey, thinking that they will be able to collect a ransom from Mrs. Hex and as they do, Jonah picks himself up off the ground. How did he survive?

The flashback shows Jonah kicking down the door and seeing food cooking on the stove. He picks up the skillet and underneath it sees wrappers from a box of "Ol' Rattler" dynamite!! Knowing that there is a trap, he hurls himself out the back window into the tall grass just as the cabin explodes. Now he is on the trail of the kidnappers.

The kidnappers are riding along, talking about what they will do with the ransom loot when the one riding in the rear is suddenly hoisted up into the trees by a noose around his neck. Jonah drops from the tree onto the dead crook's horse. When the lead kidnapper turns and sees Jonah, he pulls his pistol only to have Jonah shoot it from his hand! The crook says that he can't believe it to which Jonah replies, "Could I help it if when I fired you were holding that pistol in front of your heart?" (Translated from Hex-ese into English for easier typing).

Jonah takes Petey home and when thanked for rescuing the boy, Jonah says he had to, otherwise how could he get anything done on the farm? Jonah takes the kidnappers into town and then returns home after dark. Walking in, he lights a lantern and calls out for Mei Ling. The only answer is a note that she has left, indicating that she has taken Jason and left Jonah for good. Jonah upends some furniture in a rage and heads out to track Mei Ling down only to find a sudden downpour is wiping out her tracks, causing Jonah to rage against God in the middle of the deluge.

Meanwhile, Mei Ling has made here way over to Hiram & Ruth's farm, wanting to sit out the storm. Ruth introduces Emmy Lou and then Mei Ling explains that she is leaving Jonah. Mei Ling finally breaks down crying. She regains her composure long enough to grab her things and then head out despite the downpour.

Back at the Hex farm, Jonah decides to drown his sorrows by tossing back one after another. After some time passes the cabin door opens and El Papagayo walks in and tells Jonah that he would be more than happy to put Jonah out of his misery. Jonah outdraws the Mexican bandit, shooting the doorway and windows to pieces.

Behind him, Jonah hears Turnbull commenting to Solomon on how pathetic Jonah is in his drunken stupor. Jonah starts shouting his innocence to Turnbull and unloads his pistols again, destroying all the furniture. Jonah turns to face his father, holding out a bottle of whiskey. Woodson tells his son that he needs to learn to hold his liquor if he ever hopes to grow up like his paw.

Jonah starts screaming that he never wants to be like his father and rushes out into the rain where he is confronted with the Chameleon, brandishing a bloody pitchfork.


The Chameleon says that tonight Jonah will die but Jonah unloads once again, shooting the head completely off the scarecrow that Jonah mistook for the Chameleon. Jonah finally collapses in the rain, beaten down by his drunken hallucinations and his own sorrow.



The next day, Jonah is packing up his horse, ready to leave, when Emmy Lou rides up, asking where he is going. He states that he is returning to bounty hunting and get filthy stinking rich. Emmy begs to be taken along and Jonah says there is no chance of that happening. Emmy says that she will never forget him and as he rides off and leaves her, he thinks "Oh, yeah, you will!"

Statistics for this Issue
Men killed by Jonah - 2
Running Total - 331
Jonah's Injuries - Almost blown up!
Timeline - Same day as last issue and the day after. Spring of 1876.

This issue also had a backup, Tejano, a short lived series that I will chronicle at a latter date.

I really liked this issue, having a lot of tragedy and showing the amount of sorrow that a life like Hex's can put upon a man. The number of people that have tried to kill him and destroy him have not pushed him over the edge like losing the love of his life and only son. Makes me wonder if the level of pain would have been as deep if Mei Ling and Jason had been killed. I don't think so, because if they were dead, at least there would be some closure. With them both alive, every day that they don't return is another day that Jonah is being rejected by those he loves. It's also another day that he dare not hope that they return, because Jonah is slowly learning that hope brings nothing but more pain.

Jonah Hex is learning that his life is a tragedy. Pure and simple.

Next Issue: Is it still a drunken nightmare, or does Jonah really have to face El Papagayo and the Fort Charlotte Brigade?

Jonah Hex #52 "Rescue!"

Jonah Hex #52 Sept 1981
"Rescue!"
Michael Fleisher, story - Dick Ayers & Tony DeZuniga, art - Tony DeZuniga, cover

Petey is helping Jonah load a wagon full of hay. Jonah thanks Petey for saving his skin last month and Petey starts talking about growing up to be a gunfighter like Jonah. Jonah gives him a couple of pointers, like standing with your back to the sun showing only a profile. Just then Mei Ling comes out and asks Jonah if he & Petey can keep an eye on Jason while she finishes making some preserves. She lays Jason on the ground in the shade and the guys get back to work.

A short time later a scorpion crawls up and stings Jason. Jonah runs over and realizes what has happened. He quickly pulls the knife, cuts the wound and sucks out the poison. He does note that a scorpion wouldn't kill a grown man but a month old baby is a different story. Jonah then takes the baby into the house and Mei Ling asks what happened. Jonah tells her and she accuses Jonah of not watching the baby, of wasting time teaching Petey how to be a gunfighter (since she caught him earlier).

She goes into a rage, accusing Jonah of lying about Petey, lying about killing the bastard in town a month earlier, accusing him of killing their baby, then she lunges at Jonah resulting in...

SMACKDOWN!!

Meanwhile in town, three good-for-nothings walk into the undertakers shop. They say they want to buy a coffin to bury a pig in. A pig named Jonah Hex!! They stick a gun in the undertaker's mouth and ask how to get to Hex's place, since Hex killed their brother about a month ago. The shopkeeper draws them a map and they head out for Hex's place.

Once they get there they see Petey and think that since Jonah has a kid, Petey must be Jonah's son. When Petey rides off to go home, they ambush him and kidnap him.

The next morning Jonah is trying to talk to Mei Ling when Mrs. Foster, Petey's mom, shows up. Petey hasn't made it home. She said that Tim Baxter came by her house earlier to say that he thought he saw Petey riding off with three rough looking men. Jonah grabs his pistols and starts strapping them on and Mei Ling asks him what he thinks he is doing.

Jonah tells her that he is going to get Petey. Mei Ling says that it is a job for the sheriff but Jonah says that Petey could be dead by the time the sheriff gets involved. Mei Ling asks how can he leave Jason. Jonah heads for the door and she says that when he gets back, she and Jason will be gone. Jonah rides off as Mei Ling shouts after him.


Later on Jonah is able to pick up a trail that has one horse with a loose shoe. Jonah follows the trail into town and rides up to the blacksmith. He finds a guy getting his horse re-shoed and without another word beats the holy living crap outta him.
The guy confesses that his brothers have Petey in a cabin outside of town. Jonah has the blacksmith get the sheriff and lock up the kidnapper and heads off to rescue Petey.

Jonah finds the cabin with no problem and kicks in the door. The cabin is empty and dinner is even cooking on the stove. In the rocks above the cabin are Petey and the remaining two kidnappers. They chortle about leaving their brother behind to steer Jonah into their trap and they grab the plunger, slamming it down and blowing the cabin all to hell!

Statistics for this Issue
Men killed by Jonah - none
Running Total - 329
Jonah's Injuries - None
Timeline - One month since last issue and this story covers one day and part of another. Spring of 1876 by my estimation.

A short story since there is a Bat Lash backup and it is just a setup for next issue when things really start cooking along. Mei Ling comes out being a total shrew and I really wish we could have had about 3 months of her being sweet before going off on her man, but these are comics and the story has to keep moving.

Next Issue: What issue? Jonah is dead. Dead dead dead.



Ha ha, fooled ya! Next Issue: Jonah saves Petey and faces off against El Papagayo, Quentin Turnbull, Woodson Hex, The Chameleon, and God!!!

Jonah Hex #51 "The Comforter"

Jonah Hex #51 August 1981
"The Comforter!"
Michael Fleisher, story - Dick Ayers & Tony DeZuniga, art - Tony DeZuniga, cover

Jonah is wanting to head into town but Mei Ling is reminding him that the baby is due at any time and she is wanting him to stay home. Jonah is having the same problem I have, being alone when I'm trying to buy a surprise for my wife. Take this for example. My wife saw a ring she wanted at the store and hinted that she wanted it. While she was wandering around the mall I managed to sneak back into the store and buy the ring. I had the clerk hold it for me because I KNEW that my wife would want to swing back by, look at the ring and hint once again that she would like it. If the ring was gone, then she would demand that I empty my pockets to prove that I didn't have it. I also told the clerk to lie about me coming back in.

Sure enough, my wife wanted to look at the ring again and when it was gone she started asking if they could get another one in. The clerk waiting on us was different than the one I dealt with and she kept looking at me really weird. She finally said "A gentleman purchased the ring earlier and had it placed on hold. Let me look at the number and see if we can order another one." She brings the ring out and it HAS MY NAME ON IT! My Lovely Wife is looking at something else and I'm trying to shoo the clerk away when suddenly, out of nowhere, the original clerk snatches it out of her hands and elbows her aside. Lovely Wife turns around and the clerk who helped me says, "I'm terribly sorry, but the gentleman who put the ring on hold had us deliver it not 5 minutes ago and the paperwork won't be back with the courier for about another 2 hours so there is no way for us to determine if we can order another one of those rings."

Lovely Wife glared at me as if something was up, looked at the clerk and totally bought that lying man's story.

Wait, this is supposed to be about Jonah. Okay, I'm back on track. Jonah is trying to get into town to purchase a comforter for Ling and the baby and he finally gets his way. Meanwhile in town, a horrible hardcase shows up and starts terrorizing the local bar, saying that he's waiting for Hex in order to kill the scar-faced former bounty hunter. A bunch of kids gather at the door of the saloon to see the ruckus and one young fella, Petey, starts laughing at the idea of Hex being outgunned by this slimeball. Needless to say, said slimeball don't cotton to being ridiculed.

Jonah arrives in town and picks up the comforter at the general store and the sheriff walks in, warning him about the dirtbag at the saloon. Jonah says that he is heading home and won't have any of it. When he steps out of the store, the weasel is standing there, calling Jonah out. Hex tells him that he isn't carrying and the trashbag tosses Jonah one of his own. Hex pitches the gun to the ground and walks away, the weaselly-slimeball-dirtbag calling him a coward and the townspeople aghast that Jonah has turned tail.

Jonah spend the next hour at a cafe, not eating the meal he ordered and having a flashback.

April, 1848. Woodson Hex takes his son to the fair. Woodson, being the drunken bastard that he is, wants Jonah to enter a boy-fighting contest. 25 cent entry, $10 prize for going three rounds. Jonah says that he just turned 10 and the other kid looks a lot older. Woodson asks if he has raised a coward and Jonah gets into the ring.

At the sound of the bell, Jonah lunges for the other kid but gets the living snot beat out of himself in the first round. Woodson goads Jonah back out for the second round, even though Jonah is begging for it to stop. At the start of the second round, Jonah gets a quick one to the side of the head, an uppercut and then a ten count as he lays there, bloody, dazed and battered. Woodson drags Jonah from the ring and starts slapping him and calling him a coward. A worthless coward.

.....
Hex looks at the clock in the cafe and realizes he better be getting on home. Petey meets him in the street and asks if it's true that Jonah is a coward. Petey is beaten up and just then the weasel shows up. Jonah asks Petey if this is the guy that gave him the black eye. Petey says that it is and Jonah swiftly drops the weasel with three hard punches.

Hex turns and starts walking away but the weasel draws and shoots Jonah as he is picking up the dropped comforter. Jonah goes down and Petey sprints for Jonah's horse. With the weasel standing over Hex, ready to finish the job, Hex throws the comforter into his face and Petey tosses Hex his rifle. When the weasel pulls the comforter down, he's staring down the barrel. And, of course, it's the last thing he ever saw.

Jonah gathers up his stuff and rides back home. The doc and his wife are there and Jason Woodson Hex is snuggled in bed with his mom. Jonah apologizes for not being there and Mei Ling says that it doesn't matter. Jonah gives her the comforter and she wraps Jason in it. Jonah picks up his boy and asks if he has anything to say to his paw. Jason replies...

Statistics for this Issue
Men killed by Jonah - one.
Running Total - 329
Jonah's Injuries - Shot in left shoulder
Timeline - A few months since last issue. The snow is gone and everything around the farm is green. So it must now be 1876. Right? I'm sticking with that. Now, the flashback was in 1848 and Jonah had just turned 10. With his birthday in November, that means that he turned 10 in 1847 so he must have been born in 1837, not in 1838. So THAT means that last issue, when Jonah turned 37, it was 1874, not 75, so this story does take place in 1875.

I've read that when folks are trying to determine things like timeline and what not, they use a date that was stated most of the time and work other dates around that, determining that references to incorrect dates were just mistakes. Jonah's dates have always been 1838 - 1904, but almost all of his childhood flashbacks are when he 'just turned 10' and it's in the spring. Do we go with the bulk of flashback references or the given birth year? Or do we do what my wife suggests "It's a comic book. Let it go. Or get off your butt and find the guy that wrote these and see what HE says."?

Anyway, a nice story with a flashback to abusive Woodson. It kinda explains why Jonah was such a sadistic bastard towards Blackie and Mange and why he let the dogs eat the circus owner in Jonah Hex #1 Vol 2. My only complaint is that Pappy Hex looks different every time we see him. And we have seen him a lot. It's also a short story because of a Bat Lash backup feature.

Next Issue: kidnapping, sucker-punching, wife-slapping and it all ends with Jonah getting blown all to hell.