Jonah Hex V2 #20 "Unfinished Business"

Jonah Hex V2 #20 Aug '07

"Unfinished Business"
Justin Gray and Jimmy Palmiotti - story, Phil Noto - art and cover

The Gentlemen's Posse 
Darkness on the open plain, a small campfire burns in the night, a slumbering gunman asleep nearby. Five men on horseback ride up, silently dismount and move into the camp, weapons at the ready. They tell Hex to get up but he doesn't stir. Again they order him to rise. Nothing. They lift his hat to learn that Jonah Hex is in a stone drunken stupor, unconscious and under the effects of strong spirits. One of the men wonders if they should shoot him in his sleep. The leader orders them to get the rope from Hex's horse.

Daylight and the world is upside down. Better yet, Jonah Hex is hanging upside down, hogtied and hanging from a tree with the words "Courtesy of Mr. Park" scratched into the sand underneath him. Jonah regurgitates the contents of his stomach and the gathering vultures peck at the offering greedily. Jonah hangs there, assessing his situation when he spies the wolves trotting towards him. He tries to coax a vulture closer and finally ends up biting his own tongue hard enough to cause it to spray blood which attracts the vultures. One of the birds strays to close to Hex and he lunges as best he can, grabbing the bird's neck in his teeth and biting the head clean off.

The wolves (or are they wild dogs?) descend upon the bird's bleeding torso as Jonah takes the vulture's head in his teeth and uses the beak to start cutting away at the ropes wrapped around his chest. The rope parts and Jonah crashes down onto the bloody vulture/wild dog picnic and the dogs commence to tear into him. Suddenly a gunshot rings out and the dogs scatter. It is then that Jonah finally sees Hector, Mr. Parks henchman/partner.

Hector explains that he has a vested interest in having Mr. Parks know that Jonah Hex is dead. He does not plan on killing Hex, just giving him enough of a warning to stay out of Sulphur Springs for the rest of his days. Hector's men hold Hex down as Hector stomps on Jonah's hands, breaking all of his fingers (Kinda like what Preston did way back in the day).

That Damn Idiot
Jonah starts walking across the desert and he sees several men on horseback swiftly approaching him. Through the dust and heat he recognizes the lead horseman is none other than Chako! Hex jumps up on Chako's horse behind him and Chako requests that Hex shoot the men that are chasing them. Turns out that Chako has stolen a horse. Jonah reaches around Chako, grabs the reins and pulls the horse up short, throwing them both to the ground. The pursuers dismount and Jonah makes short work of them, headbutting and kicking them to the ground. Chako finishes one his own self.

Chako jumps up and starts thanking Hex. Jonah looks down at his busted hand, slowly forms a fist, and punches Chako in the jaw.

Chako, in his own way, ends up talking through getting punched and explains that he stole the horse because it belonged to a lovely woman named Rachel. When Hex asks about the mute girl back in Two Pines, Chako reveals that he is too handsome for just one woman. Hex commandeers a pistol and a horse from one of the unconscious men and then rides off. Chako, being Chako, decides that he and Hex are heading the same way and follows a safe distance behind, but still within earshot.

The Kindness of a Familiar Whore
The Oklahoma Panhandle - It's night and Chako is still talking as they ride into town. Jonah rides up to the saloon where we meet the blond hooker from last issue. She remembers Hex and she accompanies him and Chako into the saloon. Hex tells Chako to cheat at cards until he has enough money to buy them dinner. Jonah asks the woman her name (Dusty Rose) and asks a favor of her. When then get down to brass tacks Jonah reveals that he'll pay her $500 for a week's worth of work in Texas.

About that time, a row starts at the poker table where Chako is at. A couple of men are accusing Chako of cheating until Hex steps up and they recognize him as the guy that burnt down the Rio and they leave Chako alone.  Hex tells Chako that after tonight they are parting company.

The Explosive Conclusion
Sulphur Springs, Texas, Three weeks later. Mr. Parks and Hector are discussing their latest business venture of having added dice to their gambling establishment. Hector is suggesting adding fighting matches but Parks finds the idea somewhat grisly. Just then all of Parks men walk into the room, asking why they were wanted. Parks is confused and they produce a note that is supposedly signed by Horace. As Parks is placing something in the wall safe, he finds a note and asks Horace if he put it in there.

Hector reads it and states that they have a problem. We then hear a shout from outside and they look out the window to see Jonah Hex and Dusty Rose standing next to a dynamite plunger on the ground outside in the darkness. That's when Parks realizes that Dusty was the woman with him last night and that she has wired the room with dynamite. Hex slams the plunger down with his foot and the whole second floor of the saloon meets up with God Almighty. Bodies rain down and Dusty states "That was unexpected." to which Jonah retorts "Not bad for a whore".

Statistics for This Issue
Men Killed By Jonah - 5.
Running Total - 626 (432 past, 55 future, 15 Vertigo, 134 V2)
Jonah's Injuries - Hung upside down, busted hands, bitten bloody tongue
Timeline - This is after the adventures in issue 19 so it is probably around 1890. Covers about 3-4 weeks.
Rape Percentage - 35% (7 out of 20)

This one wasn't too bad. Again, Noto's work is not the best. It was good to see several folks back in the book giving us a break from the "done in one" format, but it is still written well enough that I didn't HAVE to have read #19 or even #4 to enjoy the story. Biting off a vulture head and then using the bloody beak to cut yourself free while wild dogs tear at the dead bird's carcass.... that's more badass than 90% of what Batman has EVER done (including hitting a guy with a car battery) I really enjoy Chako and wouldn't mind seeing him pop up from time to time. The bit where Jonah considers his broken hand and STILL punches Chako was worth the price of admission.

Next time: Hex encounters the secret of the Devil's Paw!

Jonah Hex V2 #19 "Texas Money"

Jonah Hex #19 V2 Jul '07

"Texas Money"
Justin Gray and Jimmy Palmiotti, story - Phil Noto, art and cover


Looking For A Bad Man -  Texas, Jonah rides into town and finds a large ring of folks surrounding a big burly man who is wielding a knife. Jonah asks what is going on and one man replies that it's a Mexican Tug of War. The man with the knife is calling everyone all kinds of names for coward. Hex asks one guy if he is going to take up the challenge of a fight. The man declines and Hex replies that the man in the circle has everyone bluffed. Hex grabs his tomahawk and enters the ring, demanding an explanation. The man explains that he works for another man looking to hire someone with enough sand to do a difficult job.

A Deal is Struck - Jonah is led into a nearby saloon and introduced to the owner, Mr. Parks. Jonah asks for the details and Parks starts in on a long winded story. Jonah asks if he is going to get to the point. Parks declares that he is not one to be talked to in such a manner. Hex starts to walk out saying to send for him when the stories are over. Parks says that he needs some men found and killed.

Jonah asks how much. Parks replies with three thousand in gold. Two of his nephews were kidnapped. Jonah is surprised that THAT amount of money wasn't enough to stir any of the townsfolk into action. Parks explains that he does have men working for him that could do it, but they are conducting other business for him. He has been expecting a ransom note, but none has been forthcoming.

Hex smells something wrong and asks how long the nephews have been gone. Three days. Jonah asks for a list of Parks enemies. Parks is taken aback at the accusation but Jonah insists that a man as powerful as Parks has made at least a few enemies. Parks admits that he has used his money to smooth over some infractions that the nephews have instigated. Hex takes his leave and Parks offers the aide of his man, Hector (the knife guy). Hex declines and leaves.

Madam Blood's Treasure - Kansas, one month later. Madam Blood helps a cowboy named Tom Leverlock into her bedroom. He is boasting of several things, his rich zinc find, his way with the women, and how handsome he is. While she distracts him with her feminine wiles, she pulls a small derringer and shoots him in the head, taking all of his money.

As she is going through the dead man's pockets, one of her girls walks into the room. Madam Blood pitches a fit and fires the girl on the spot. She then yells downstairs for Samson, her huge mentally handicapped flunky. She orders him to dispose of the body in the abandoned Creedis mine with the others and to be sure to go out the back.

The fired callgirl is standing outside and watches everything that Samson does. After some inner reflection, she goes directly to the sheriff's office.

We cut to the inside of a mine. Hex, the sheriff, a few deputies, and a handcuffed Samson are looking at the decomposing bodies. The sheriff states that Blood has been doing this for years and it appears that over twenty men have fallen victim to her. They were able to locate the mine with Samson's aid. The sheriff hands over a wanted poster for Blood and Hex says that he'll take the job, but first they have to wrap up their other business, then he'll be heading back to Texas.

Pay Attention To Details - Texas, one month later. Hex rides into the Texas town pulling a wagon with two coffins. Parks comes out and demands to see inside. Hex demands his money. Hector opens the coffins and Parks said that the deal for the money was that Hex bring in the men responsible for this. Hex explains only one man is responsible for what Parks sees, Hex himself.

Parks is stunned and demands to know who Hex is. Hector, along with several men in the shade of a nearby building explain that he is Jonah Hex, a bounty hunter, cold-blooded Confederate, and Apache raised abomination.

Hex demands his money. Parks wants to know why he should pay the man that killed his nephews. Jonah states that the state of Kansas killed the nephews after a fair trial and it took a little bit of extra work (of which Parks will pay more for) to get the bodies out of Kansas. Parks pulls a pistol and Jonah grabs Parks windpipe.

Hector and the men by the building pull their weapons and tell Hex to let go. Jonah demands his money. Hector tells Parks to pay Hex and Parks shouts that he will pay THEM the three thousand to kill Hex. Hector states that money does the dead no good.

Parks gets the money and pays Hex and then Jonah rides off. Parks tells Hector that he wants revenge on Hex and Hector strikes a deal. If he gets cut in as a full partner in all of Parks dealings, then he is on the job.

Blood runs Cold - The Oklahoma, three weeks later. I'm assuming they mean the Oklahoma territory. Jonah rides into town, locates the nearest woman and says that he is looking for a woman. She says that SHE is a woman and Jonah shows her the wanted poster. The woman says that Blood came into town a week ago, set up in the Rio, and run off a couple of girls working there. Nobody would miss Blood if she was to be gone. Hex tosses her some money and tells her to take the night off.

As Jonah approaches the Rio, he is approached in turn by one of the workers. He shrugs her off and goes inside. He flashes the wanted poster and Blood sees him from the upper floor railing. She shouts for her goons to kill Hex and as the gunfight breaks out, everyone scatters and Jonah tosses a Molotov cocktail across the room, lighting up the place like the Fourth of July. 

With Bloods men shot or running away, Jonah walks through the burning building and heads up the stairs. He spies Blood attempting to escape across the porch roof and he shoots her in the leg, pitching her off the roof and into a horse trough. He holds her under water until she cools off.

Public Service Free of Charge - Hex and Blood are in a mine and Blood is tied up. Blood says that she has gold hid, a lot more than what Hex will get paid for bringing her in, and Hex is SUPPOSED to bring her in. Jonah replies that he got Texas money just this week.

Blood starts screaming that he can't leave her to starve. What did she ever do to him? Jonah replies:

Statistics for This Issue
Men Killed By Jonah - 4. Three of Blood's men and Blood herself
Running Total - 621 (432 past, 55 future, 15 Vertigo, 129 V2)
Jonah's Injuries - None
Timeline - This issue covers a few months and has to take place around 1890.
Rape Percentage - 37% (7 out of 19) 

This issue was pretty good. So good, in fact, that it was made into a DC Showcase cartoon that followed the Madam Blood storyline. 

The 1890 time is from the fact that Oklahoma became a territory in 1890. It was called Oklahoma prior to that, but it was mostly referred to as The Unassigned Lands. In 1879 it was illegal to reside within the borders of the Unassigned Lands and after a long battle, Land Runs were set up and folks started settling in 1889. So I'm sticking with 1890 or thereabouts.

I do enjoy Noto's work, but some of stuff seems so machine-like. The wallpaper in Parks office and the lettering on building signs has that 'nice' computer generated feel to it. Bleh. Also, some of the folks in the book all look the same, only distinguishable by facial hair. Heck, half the time I couldn't tell that Hector was Hector.

So I give the story higher marks than the artwork. Also, re-reading this issue, I noticed a joke that Jonah made prior to entering the brothel in Oklahoma. It's subtly and a little too tasteless for me to explain here. I'm  ashamed of a couple of things. First, that I understood it and second, that I didn't get it until rereading it six years later.

Next - Vultures, Wolves, and the return of......

Jonah Hex #14 "The Sin Killer!"

Jonah Hex #14 July 1978
"The Sin Killer!"
David Michelinie, story - Vincente Alcazar, art - Rich Buckler & Frank Giacoia, cover

Jonah is standing in a saloon, minding his own business when all 5 Stolper Brothers (Yancy, Rafe, & three others) come sauntering in. They walk up behind Jonah and start talking about how they are going to buy everyone drinks because they will be rich once they bring Jonah in for the $10,000 bounty. Jonah retaliates by breaking a whiskey bottle across the Rafe's mouth. Rafe falls to the floor and Jonah guns down two of the brothers. He then kicks over a pot-belly stove onto a fourth brother and then guns down the last Stopler brother.

Jonah runs out of the saloon, jumps on his horse and rides off. The Stopler brother that had the stove kicked at him comes stumbling out of the saloon, swearing that he will kill Jonah. We hear a voice from the shadows state "No, Sinner! Vengeance is the province of the Lord! And as his servant its execution is mine.." and the man in the shadows pumps three bullets into the Stopler brother.

Three days later in Ringwood, Oklahoma, Jonah is getting the barrels sawed off his shotgun by a local blacksmith. The blacksmith invites Jonah to a prayer meeting that a circuit preacher is holding. Jonah is about to turn him down when he mentions the big picnic supper. Jonah decides that he can use some free eats.

At the prayer meeting, the preacher is talking about the evils of the world, the coming Armageddon, about the Lord helping those that help themselves, the lion & lamb and the lion being tamed. Jonah is munching down on a chicken leg when he realizes that he knows the preacher. After the sermon, Jonah heads to meet the preacher.

The preacher, Jedediah Kane, was known by Jonah six years ago and Jonah thought Jed was dead in El Paso. Jed invites Jonah into his wagon to talk over old times. Jed explains that after that gunfight in El Paso he almost died and for three days teetered on the brink of death. Afterwards he decided to change his ways. He took up the cloth, married a woman and started a family. A few years later he took his congregation down to Knobb's Creek for a baptism service.

However, a group of cattle rustlers had set up camp there and a bunch of bounty hunters were stalking them. As the congregation arrived at the river, the bounty hunters opened fire and the entire church was slaughtered. It was at that point Jedediah began his crusade to smite the Philistines. Jonah asks what Jed means by that and Jed explains that it means he kills bounty hunters, and suddenly pistol whips Jonah. Jed then packs up his wagon and leaves, taking Jonah with him.

The caption explains that "For hours, the creaking wagon winds its way over rocky paths, climbing high into the nearby, snow-capped mountains." Uhhhhh, there are no snow-capped in Oklahoma. The highest point is Black Mesa and it is in no way a mountain. But, back to the story.

Jedediah has taken Jonah to the snow covered mountain peaks in Oklahoma Territory and left him hanging by his wrists from a tree. Jed rails on about this being a method of salvation for Jonah and that this way Jonah can repent of his greedy sinful ways and be saved. Jonah sees it as he will be left to starve. Jed gets into his wagon and rides off.

Jonah figures that the tree branch he is hanging from is so loaded with snow & ice that he might be able to break the limb. He starts swinging and then brings his weight down on the branch, thus causing it to snap. Now he is on the ground and tied to a large branch. He's not able to untie the rawhide with his teeth so Jonah carries the branch to a frozen creek, smashes the ice and soaks the rawhide in the freezing water until it stretches enough for him to get it untied.

Then, with his arms soaking wet and no proper clothing, Jonah starts making his way down the mountain in the building snowstorm. He manages to knife a rabbit and eat it raw. Hours later he stumbles up to a mountain cabin where a trapper is able to save him.

After several days, Jonah borrows the trappers horse and rides off.

Days later in Ralston, Kansas, Jonah is asking around about Jedediah. Folks acknowledge that there was a traveling preacher just that morning but he left town about an hour ago with a sandy headed fella with missing teeth. Later at an abandoned silver mine outside of town, Rafe Stopler is holding Jedediah at gunpoint and is about to kill him. Jed tries to reason with him but Jonah sneaks into the mine behind Rafe. Rafe turns and Jonah plants his pigsticker knife right in the middle of Rafe's chest.

As Rafe goes down, he squeezes both triggers, hitting a roofing beam in the mine. Jonah reaches down and picks up the shotgun, telling Jedediah that they have several things to settle up between the two of them. Jed reaches into his Bible and pulls out a derringer that is hidden there is several cutout pages. Jonah tells Jed that the shotgun has weakened the roof and they need to get out of there.

Jed accuses Jonah of lying and Jonah tells him that he is using religion as an excuse to carry out his own vendetta. Jedediah shouts that God punishes evil and Jed opens fire. The noise causes the roof to collapse and in the end Jonah is able to crawl out from the rubble. Standing up Jonah says "Jedeiah, ah guess ah owe yuh an apology. It seems yuh wuz raht about one thing, after all...God does punish evil, sometimes." And Jonah walks out of the mine, leaving the dead body of Jedediah behind in the mine.

Statistics for this issue:
Men killed by Jonah - 4

Running Total - 163
Jonah injuries - knocked out
Timeline - This story takes place over probably about 2 weeks ("three days", "several days", "several days") and is part of the Jonah fugitive story line. Jonah still has the shotgun he picked up in Louisiana two issues ago.

I liked the cover of this issue with the red sky, lightning, and glowing eyes looking like a throwback to the early Weird Western days. The story? Ummm, not so much. I have never cared for the crazed preacher angle unless the writer has actually shown a good grasp of the scriptures and is able to convince me that the crazy preacher actually believes that God is telling him to kill people. It just seems like a lazy way to write to me. This turns out to be a mediocre story. And by the wat, does Jed look like Robert Mitchum in Night of the Hunter?

Next Issue: Rings of fire, knife throwing, and the freak show comes to town!!!

Jonah Hex #13 "The Railroad Blaster"

Jonah Hex #13 June 1978
"The Railroad Blaster"
David Micheline, story - Vincente Alcazar, art - Rich Buckler & Dick Giordano, cover

Location: A Union Pacific passenger car near Guthrie, Oklahoma Territory in 1874. Can you count the mistakes in that sentence? Anyway, this is the first story not written by Michael Fleisher in 28 issues.

This story takes place after Jonah gets away from the Louisiana crazies so he is taking a train through the Oklahoma territory in the north central part of the state. We see a hand lighting some dynamite and then we are shown that the dynamite is next to the tracks. The splash page is a huge explosion with the train tossing everyone about. Earl & Virgil, two ruffians, decide to take advantage of the confusion and start robbing folks. They steal a woman's purse and knock a man out before they hear a voice ask if they really want to take the purse because it doesn't go with their outfit at all. Jonah Hex is standing behind them with his hand casually resting up in the overhead storage.

Virgil notes that Jonah's holsters are empty and draws on Jonah. Suddenly the overhead compartment erupts when Jonah squeezes the trigger on the shotgun he had hidden there. Earl gets three shots off but Jonah dives and unloads the second barrel into him. Jonah congratulates himself on his foresight of takes the shotgun from the swamp crazies he tangled with but he is interrupted by the man that was beaten up. The man berates Jonah for endangering them all by discharging firearms in close quarters. Jonah responds by punching him with the woman's purse.

A few hours later, several wagons from nearby Guthrie show up to investigate the explosion. In town Jonah is lamenting that he only has 50 cents to his name. Down the sidewalk comes a small boy running from a shopkeeper. The boy has stolen a small bag of grain and runs into Jonah. The shopkeeper catches the boy, but Jonah intervenes and gives the man a quarter for the grain. The man starts to protest but Jonah quietly says that the quarter will cover it. Jonah sends the boy on his way with an admonition to not let thievin become a habit.

A short while later in the saloon Jonah is about to get a drink when a man by the name of Reuben Gittes offers to share a bottle with him. Jonah takes up the offer and the man says that he has admired the fine way that Jonah handled the purse-snatchers on the train and then calls him by name. Gittes explains that he has a pistol under the table aimed at Jonah and that Gittes work for the Pinkerton Detective Agency.

Gittes explains that he isn't after the bounty on Jonah, he has been sent to Guthrie to investigate a series of explosions that have been plaguing the railroad. He has been offered $5,000 to bring in the saboteur. He knows Jonah reputation for tracking down men and offers Jonah $1,000 to help him. Jonah asks why Gittes doesn't just kill him now & collect the $10,000 on his head. Gittes explains that it would do his health no good to be known as the man who killed Jonah Hex. Jonah agrees to Gittes' terms and starts tracking the saboteur.

For hours he follws a trail that appears to be made by two people with a wagon that has a 'bum wheel'. Eventiually he comes upon a large ranch that has seen better days. As he rides up the owner, Roy Cooper, steps out and threatens Jonah with a rifle. Just then the young boy, Billy, Jonah helped earlier runs out of the house and explains that Jonah paid for the grain. Roy apologizes and explains that there have been robbers in the area and he has to be careful.

Roy continues working on repairing his buckboard wheel and eventually starts bad mouthing the railroads. He catches himself and then invites Jonah for dinner. During dinner, Jonah probes for Roy's opinion of the railroad and Roy starts talking about how the railroad has started taking cattle drives away and a man like him has a hard time making ends meet. After dinner Jonah excuses himself and leaves only to climb a nearby hill so that he can continue to watch the cabin after dark.

Soon, Roy & Billy get in the buckboard and Jonah follows them to a railroad trestle. The tracks come around a huge bend near some rocks and then go across a gorge. Roy's plan is to blow up the rocks and knock them onto the track. Billy asks why they just don't blow up the bridge. Roy explains that the engineer will see the rocks and have time to stop the train. If the trestle was gone folks would die in the crash.

Jonah steps out from the shadows, pistols drawn. Jonah says that he is going to have to take them in but then Gittes steps out behind Jonah. Gittes tosses some ankle-irons to Jonah and tells Jonah to put them on himself so Gittes can collect the $15,000 himself. Gittes laughingly explains that his plan is to kill Jonah for the $10,000 and then kill Roy for the $5,000 but he will explain that Roy killed Jonah first. Before Gittes can pull the trigger, Billy jumps up on a boulder with a stick of dynamite and a match. Billy tells Gittes to drop the pistol.

Gittes decides to drop Billy instead and shoots the boy. Billy falls backwards onto the trestle and the dynamite explodes. Roy lunges at Gittes but is gunned down and when Jonah attempts to tackle Gittes he falls, due to the ankle-irons and Gittes pistol whips him. Gittes is about to shoot Jonah in the head when he is knocked out with a rock by Roy, who dies right afterward.

Sometime later we find Gittes shackled to the railroad track. Jonah is sitting atop his horse next to him. Jonah explains that since the bridge is blown up somebody has to warn the train but since Jonah is going to be busy burying Roy and Billy, Jonah will leave Gittes there. Gittes starts screaming that it is still too dark for the train to see him. Jonah says that's not a problem. the train will stop to find out what the big bump was.

Jonah turns and rides off, leaving Gittes screaming in the dark.


Statistics for this issue
Men killed by Jonah - 3 Running Total - 159
Jonah's injuries - pistol whipped, but not knocked out
Timeline - 1874. But, let's go back to the first sentence.

1. The Union Pacific does run through Oklahoma, starting in 1964.
2. Guthrie, Oklahoma was founded on April 22, 1889 during one of the land runs.
3. The previous issue took place around 1876 & 1877 due to a timeline continuing from a reference to Mexican President Porfirio Diaz.

I think any ranting at this point would be pointless. But, understand that I am ranting on the inside.

Besides all of this, I did enjoy this issue with Gittes pulling a great double-cross and everyone threatening everyone else with dynamites, rock, rifles & pistols. Jonah is kinda helpless through the whole thing but gets the final say in a very gruesome EC kinda way.

Next Issue: More bad geography and Jonah almost gets religion.