Weird Western Tales #64 "With Friends Like These..."

 Weird Western Tales #64 Feb 1980

"With Friends Like These..."

Gerry Conway, story - Dick Ayers & Romeo Tanghal, art - Luis Dominguez, cover 

Our tale starts immediately after the prior issue, with Bat Lash turning his friend, Ke-Woh-No-Tey, over to the Confederate court. Scalphunter quickly starts battling his way to freedom but Willie Wilson draws his pistol and puts a slug into Scalphunter's shoulder. He prepares to fire again but Bat steps in front of him. Willie realizes that they are all fair men, so the Indian will get his trial before he hangs.

Later that night, in the cold November Richmond darkness, Bat is rolling dice and taking names at a gambling house and he is living large. He notices an older man head upstairs with a fair lady, spies which room they slip into and then he clambers up the outside of the building and drops in on the couple via an open window.

The next day, the old man, Judge Clammerhorn, makes his way to the courthouse to witness Scalphunter's trial. He sees that the verdict is Guilty and Scalphunter is led away, to be executed at dawn. Later that day, the judge pays a visit to the jail and is allowed entrance into Scalphunter's cell. The guard leaves them and the judge removes his wig and glasses, revealing himself to be BAT LASH!!!!!

Scalphunter lunges at Lash and grabs him around the neck but Bat quickly explains  that having Scalphunter arrested was the only way to save his own skin. He knew that he couldn't get himself out of prison, but of course, he would be able to free Scalphunter. Bat explains the ruse of pretending to be the judge in order to scope out the prison and sadly, there is no way out, but Bat being who he is, is working on an effective plan B. Bat whispers some directions to Scalphunter and then leaves, once again disguised as the judge.

Walking down the street, he is greeted by Lt Willie Wilson, with whom he had spoken with earlier in the day at the trial. Wilson pulls a pistol and reveals that he knows the judge is an imposter and guides Bat into a nearby garment mill. Once inside, Wilson explains that he knows the judge had no interest in military justice, only wine and women, then demands to know who the judge really is.

Bat quickly strikes out at Wilson with his cane and the two men engage in hand to hand combat in the machine area of the millery. Lash grabs a bolt of cloth, entangling Wilson in it and as they fight tooth and nail, Lash falls backward, grabbing Wilson and throwing him overhead, right into a huge fabric folding machine! The times being what they are, there are no safety measures on the machine and it starts up, steaming and folding the poor man.

That night, Bat Lash is resting in the 'business' of Kitty, the woman that runs the gambling establishment, among other things. Bat asks her for some help against the Confederate army and she says she would gladly help with anything that goes against men who think more highly of their horses than of their women.

The next morning, Scalphunter is bound to a post in the courtyard of a fort. The firing squad is assembling before the Captain of the fort and Lt Wilson is on hand. The sun rises over the wall of the fort, blazing into Scalphunter's eyes. He thinks of the many times he has been warmed by the sun, first in the Missouri hills and then across the rest of the country, through the wilderness and the cities and then he nods farewell to the sun. Then, as the command is given to open fire, Kitty and her girls hurl large bolts of cloth off the fort walls down onto the firing squad, tossing them into turmoil and spoiling their aim.

Just then, Lt Wilson doffs his hat to reveal Bat Lash to the astonishment of the Captain. Bat punches the Captain and frees Scalphunter. Then the Indian, the Gambler and Kitty and the girls load up and head out. Later on the road heading north out of Richmond, they stop for a moment of rest. Kitty suggests they head much further north, perhaps to Chicago. Bat agrees and asks if Scalphunter is angry about all of this. Brian thinks for a moment and then smiles. Bat quips now he knows why Brian Savage rarely smiles.

Statistics for this issue

Men Killed by Scalphunter - 0

Running Total - 124

Compared to Jonah Hex - 25th appearance and Scalphunter has 124 vs Jonah's 97 (in WWT #36)

Scalps Taken - 0

Running Total - 20

Injuries - Shot in the shoulder.

Timeline -  This issue covers two days.

This one wasn't a great one. Bat Lash had a mediocre plan to save his own skin and really put Scalphunter's life in danger. This was much more of a Bat Lash story than a Scalphunter tale, but the title of the book is Weird Western Tales, not SCALPHUNTER. The highlight of the story was the absolute horrible death suffered by Wilson, it was something out of either an E.C. comic or a Stephen King short story. Artwork was good, the cover was not very inspiring.

Ads in this issue included

Start Trek the Motion Picture

Batman and Twinkies take on Professor Plutonium (Man I would LOVE for someone to revive all these Hostess villains as actual threats!)

Timewarp #3

and a two page spread for 1941

Next Issue: More crazed Confederates, an old man and his grandson, plus the wrath of God

Weird Western Tales #63 "The Trial of Bat Lash"

Weird Western Tales #63 Jan 1980

"The Trial of Bat Lash"

Gerry Conway, story - Dick Ayers & Romeo Tanghal, art - Luis Dominguez, cover 

Night in the city. Scalphunter lies in wait in a narrow alley. A man has been following him for sometime across the fog enshrouded rain drenched streets. Knife drawn, he is ready like a wolf to turn the tables on his hunter. The man, unaware, passes by Scalphunter who silently springs from the alley and knocks the man down and into the street.

As they are fighting for control of the knife a horse and carriage come speeding down the street. At the last instant the man grabs Scalphunter and rolls both of them onto the sidewalk out of harms way. The danger past, the man asks why Scalphunter jumped him. The Indian's hand moves closer to the fallen knife and the man asks him to not do anything foolish. Scalphunter relents, seeing as how the man saved his life. He asks why he was being followed.

The man relates that he has been tracking Scalphunter for three weeks at the request of a mutual friend, Bat Lash. Seems like Bat Lash is being tried for the death of General Beauregard Smith that occurred when Lash and Scalphunter stole the Gatling Gun. Bat wanted this man to bring Scalphunter back to testify to his innocence because they are friends. At dawn Scalphunter and the man ride out of town.

They finally arrive in Union City, New Jersey to catch a train south. While on the train the man's southern accent raises the eyebrows of the conductor who points him out to some Union soldiers. An officer and a soldier ask the man and Scalphunter to accompany them to the baggage car to exchange some words. In the baggage car the man introduces himself as Willie Wilson, and while he is from the Carolinas, he has lived in New Hampshire for nine years. 

The officer doesn't believe him and accuses him of being a Rebel spy. The officer pulls a pistol and Scalphunter quickly disarms him and punches his lights out. The soldier quickly shoulders his rifle and gets off two shots but not before Scalphunter has slammed him across the boxcar and into an open door. They wrestle over the weapon and Scalphunter grabs the soldier by the coat and tosses him off the train and into a waiting river far below.

When the train finally pulls into Washington D.C. Wilson and Scalphunter have tied, gagged, and stuffed the Union officer into a mail pouch to be later discovered by two other soldiers. (Dib-Doggled?!?!?)

They leave the train and steal two horses from a 'poorly guarded Army stable' and head off to Richmond. While on the ride, Wilson says he hopes that Bat can stall the tribunal and Scalphunter asks how Bat was captured.

Wilson relates the tale that Bat was playing poker outside of Richmond when the subject of Yankee manufacturing came up. One man says it isn't factories that win wars and Bat gently disagreed, stating he knew of a Gatling Gun that could mow down dozens of soldiers with ease. Bat then excuses himself and leaves with two women. About an hour later several soldiers burst into the room and Bat escapes by leaping out a second story into into a horse drawn cab on the street below. The cabbie takes off but quickly overturns the cab and Bat is captured.

That was three weeks ago and Wilson was sent to find Scalphunter. The Indian asks how Wilson knows Bat and he replies that they are childhood friends. With that, Scalphunter gives him the side-eye.

Much later the moon rises  and the two men hunker down along a  river. On the other side is a Union camp just five miles from the Confederate line. If they were to circumnavigate the camp they would lose a day or two, the only way forward is across the river right where the camp is. They mount up and cross the river but once they are halfway across, Union soldiers open fire. Wilson's horse goes down and he scrambles back to the other side of the river. 

Scalphunter, however, is a trained warrior and he rides low on his horse, fooling the soldiers into thinking he has fallen off. As the horse explodes onto the bank, the warrior of the plains lets lose with a Kiowa battlecry and leaps from the horse. One soldier fires wildly, killing a fellow soldier. With knife and hatchet, Scalphunter fights madly beneath the moon, swiftly killing the six remaining soldiers. Wilson, having crossed the river, says they have to hurry before the shots bring more soldiers down on them.

Later that day, the two men ride into Richmond on the remaining horse. When they make their way to the courthouse Wilson quietly talks to the guard outside and the both of them are ushered inside, followed by two soldiers. Scalphunter mentions that Wilson had told the officer on the train that he was from the Carolinas but Bat is from Louisiana, so how could they be childhood friends. Wilson says that it is simple.... he lied. 

Wilson throws open the doors to the courtroom and Bat stands up, hand scuffed in front of him. He greets Scalphunter and he says "There he is, your Honors, THAT'S THE MAN WHO REALLY KILLED GENERAL BEAUREGARD SMITH!!!" and the soldiers quickly disarm the astonished Indian.

Statistics for this issue

Men Killed by Scalphunter - 6. The soldier thrown off the train probably survived the fall into the river. Folks always survive things like that. 

Running Total - 124

Compared to Jonah Hex - 24th appearance and Scalphunter has 124 vs Jonah's 96 (in WWT #35)

Scalps Taken - 0

Running Total - 20

Injuries - None.

Timeline -  This issue covers two days.

This one digs deep into continuity, referencing the Gatling Gun adventure and the plot to kill Lincoln. Not a bad issue with Scalphunter dispatching a half dozen soldiers, there is intrigue and deception and a double cross. Pretty typical stuff for an issue with Bat Lash in it. Some folks in the letters column had started bemoaning the reliance of Bat Lash in the book, saying it has almost turned into a buddy-cop movie with the two men being so different but forced to work together. Oddly enough, the buddy-cop craze didn't start until 1982 with 48 Hrs. So maybe Gerry Conway is the father of buddy-cop movies?!?!?

As far as ads, there is a two pager for Kenner Star Wars toys including a radio controlled R2D2. (If you haven't watched it, you should look up The Toys That Made Us episode on Star Wars toys, crazy crazy stuff) There are house ads for the Mystery books, Green Lantern, Legion of Superheroes, Superboy, Adventure (With Starman and Plastic Man) and a Hostess ad with Superman in "The Rescue" where he saves aliens and kids give them Twinkies.

Also the cover on this one is great, with the framing, the colors, the bug-eyed craze of the attacker (much different from what actually happened) but most of all, the joy of the dog!

Next Issue: Bat Lash has had a plan all along!!