A little spice

We really enjoyed sitting to watch the movie, "Slumdog millionaire". It was a lot better than we'd thought and we were not surprised that it had won as many awards as it did. The story overview was that of an ordinary Indian boy in the chair of a TV Quiz show winning the top prize. In the pauses we have the segments of his very hard life in the slums of Mumbai. It detailed all the experiences that he had which enabled him to be there in the hot seat and also to answer, or guess correctly, the questions. He also had his domineering and gangster member older brother to deal with, who was really bad at first but sacrificed it all in the end to make good his duty and his memory. He also had the love of a girl who had also suffered many hardships running parallel to his life. It culminates into a wonderful love story that had us both watery eyed and tight in the throat. It was one of those movies that has a powerful happy ever after.

It's a shame the curry afterwards was a little bit of a disappointment. A little shop called Himalaya Curry, with what looked like Christmas lights in the window, not far from Sangubashi station. Inside was a small but brightly lit and warm looking place with a Nepalese flag outside the window. We entered and we were squeezed into a small corner. Now we really felt how tight it was but full of people and the smell from the cooking downstairs was lovely. Complete the ambiance with the relaxing and very Indian sounding music and we anticipated something spectacular. The curry was more like rice in soup and not a lot of meat in there. We ate it because we were hungry. We didn't stay for long and amazingly there were people standing eager for our seats. On the way up the hill back to the station we passed a McDonald's and we went in there for chicken and salad sandwich. Miss Nibbles still felt like raiding the fridge when we got home. It's nice to see her appetite return.

My sweetheart gave me a wonderful perfume from BVLGARI, called 'Voile de jasmin' which means 'Veil of jasmine' and it's a wonderfully divine fragrance but then of course you all know that anything to do with Jazz or Jasmine will be fantastic! I have used Bvlgari black which is one of those warm leathery sort of smells that makes you feel like you're hugged within a lovers strong passionate arms. But this one is fresh and light and innocent like the promise of spring after a long winter and it has that subtle lingering effect so that when I walk out of the office you may forget me but you won't forget my scent.

Really it's beautiful.
Big Kiss for Hitomi.


I think I have often talked about feelings and Hitomi and I talked about our recent argument. Not about the causes or our subsequent actions but about the way we felt deep inside. A lot of people use the phase, "I felt that a part of me was missing", casually and while it may be true to the best of their way of describing it, have you ever thought what part is actually missing?
I know if I asked one of my ex boyfriends I can imagine what part he would say that he missed. It's usually route one with them! (Laughs) But you know when something has gone and left such emptiness behind it and we all know that nature abhors a vacuum. As if the first school you ever attended was suddenly pulled down and some new building occupies the space now. You would feel as if you have lost something like a tangible reference to a part of your own personal history. I won't walk the halls of that school but I could look at it and enjoy fond memories. Then when it's torn down I no longer have the choice to walk its halls or look upon its construct again. It has all been taken away from me. Let's bring that idea a little closer and think of a long lost school friend you haven't seen for ten years. You'll talk and share news, feeling happy at once meeting this person who is a stranger really but you can both share moments from so long ago and be familiar at once with shared memories and experiences. This is the key here in the sharing of a part of your life.

When we part from our lover, she (or he) takes away the shared experience of the time you've had and been together. One comment a few posts ago said that my life revolves around Hitomi and I guess that it does. My life has had several partners drift in and out of of it with various intensities and my life changed accordingly with each one. But I have now reached that part of my life where I can't believe that I've ever been as happy or as relaxed and as content with a person as I am with her. I feel that she is the one who will hold my hand and walk with me together into our old age. It's the commitment that we have to each other and everything that we have shared so far that would simply evaporate if she were to just leave.

We are not one we are two.
We are two people living together with our lives firmly entrenched within the other sharing everything. Two people with different thoughts and different ideas and different reasons to argue. But if we can find one common goal then we can work together and if we can find ourselves within the other then that love will be the greatest love of all. If she leaves then she takes with her my reason of how I live my life and all the things she puts there. She takes that life, which is one where I have finally come to regard as an enjoyable one and one not filled with pains and disappointments of the past. She would take all that and leave behind the greatest emptiness of all, my very essence. That would be the missing part. She has without doubt brought out the best in me and I've heard that from several people who knew me before and know me now.

I don't want to lose that and there is no reason to lose it as long as we keep talking about how we feel inside openly and honestly and we continue to believe in each other.
It's a bad world out there sometimes but facing it with someone else makes it so worthwhile.

^*^
REMOVED:

My complaint about someone copying my words

The Last Supper

And truly she said unto us "One of you will betray me!"
click to enlarge it

Yes I know it's not a true quotation from the Christ at the last supper but it suits my purpose as does the photo-shopped representation I made of a last supper. The twelve followers are perhaps different elements or representations of different facets of my personality. I'm sure Freud could have as much of a 'field day' analyzing me as much as the many of his critics do decompiling him.
So which one of the 12 might betray her?
Jazz one has the music between her legs (a radio). Jazz two has a blue rose. Jazz three holds up her hand in denial after dropping a knife. Jazz four holds a silver purse and Jazz five hides herself behind and also embraces Jazz six and since that sixth position in the real painting is undecided over whether it's John or Mary Magdalen, this Jazz has turned and looks a little masculine and perhaps represents the undecided nature of who she really is.
On the other side of Hitomi is Jazz seven, who is mostly hidden and is the doubter. Jazz eight strongly rejects the idea and Jazz nine softly seeks comfort from the strength of Jazz eight. Jazz ten in amazing disbelief asks Jazz twelve, the zealot if this can be true. Jazz eleven quietly protects the dove of peace under the table. Jazz twelve always has something to say and contemplates Jazz ten's question.
The clues are all there: Choose one from Left to right number 1 to 12:
Any answers, theories, clues, or revelations you may have please write in the comments.

The desire for fast food has gone. Mysteriously it fell upon me and equally mysteriously it has vanished. Now I eat a healthy balance diet again with a thought for my poor tummy. I really need my figure back. Some people might say that the baggy tops I wear may hide the fact that the waistline button on my skirt isn't fastened. Some people say some pretty mean things! I won't say that!

What lies underneath is is always fascinating to the one we love. One thing shared by my last few partners and Hitomi is no exception, is to bring a camera into the bedroom. The eroticism is an enthralling enchantment and although you the reader may say you've never done it, I think some of you may not be honest whether by deed or by desire if you say "No!". Some of you may be truthful but I'd wonder why not if your "no" was an honest answer. I don't say it's always a good thing because I can tell you right now that what do you think could happen to photographs like that after you've split up?
Some of the more overt members of our club have often brandished a photo or two for close friends to laugh and giggle over and and maybe act like a dog of the Pavlov kind
Looking back on it I suppose most lovers have the desire to capture that image of a moment only they two would share. Perhaps there are many reasons why they do it. Hitomi captured me in the bath and that led on to a lot of fun and she also woke me and took a few that she really wanted to brandish around in the club too.

I made a private album of the first few shots if you want to know what I mean. But you'll need to give me a googlemail account to get access. That's just a little security for me. It's not pornographic but it is up close and personal all the way to the line I draw.

Image format

I am looking good! I have a habit of checking my mirror and standing on the bathroom scales. This time last year I had put on weight, my cheeks were puffed up, my eyes looked terrible and some of my clothes didn't fit me. But now, oh I feel so good. All my attempts at dieting were terrible! I was going on some plan or other from magazines and so called experts advice and where are they now? In the trash where they belong! When it comes down to it, there is no miracle and you don't need to wonder if you need liposuction and any of this artificial rubbish
I said to myself, "Get flaming real girl! What do I want?
I wanted my figure back, I wanted to wear my old clothes and I wanted to look like I did way back, before my period of self abuse and I do
How did I do it then, what's my secret?
Oh no, I will not give you any secret, I have already told you there is no secret. It is plain and simple. There is no comfort either. It is sacrifice and pain and above all, the desire must burn within you and you believe in yourself! What use the woman who has three crème cakes, four chocolate bars and a diet coke in her shopping trolley?
Get swimming, go to the gym and watch what you eat but don't count the calories that much. Yes, every now and then you may indulge yourself in a treat. Fat and calories is just like an algebraic equation. What goes in must be burnt off and keep the formula balanced on both sides of the equals sign. I have swam lengths and run on treadmills and toned with weights and yes I look brilliant and more importantly because I was uncomfortable with it, I changed it, Now I feel so damn good inside too!
Never be forced to change because it's what you see in the glossies, if you are comfortable with what you are, stay there, why change? Only change if you want too and if you desire to for yourself!

I went out with my friend Aya yesterday. We went to a little health food restaurant after our shopping trip. It was not because it was a conscious decision, but it was just there, close to where we were shopping. It was amusing in a way to see some of the people who frequent that place. Which one was it? I am not saying, but if anyone knows of one at the top of a certain park, where old men practice Tai Chi in the surrounding gardens every morning and young men practice Karate Kata of an evening, it may just be that one. Many joggers use that park also. They stretch away in a warm up routine and then fired up, off they go. My arms were already stretched from transferring my shopping from the stores to the car! A couple of joggers returned from their trip around the park and lit cigarettes like lovers supposedly do after their exercise! Is that health hypocrisy?
In between inhalations they would tell me the evils of a greasy cheeseburger perhaps?

So we sat in there and looked at the menu. When I am in a restaurant, I tend to not look at other people. I have many reasons for that, but my primary one is like that of the ostrich. If my head is in the sand, they can't see me either! I need privacy sometimes, even if I go to public places. But wearing a false mustache and glasses would defeat the object!
But this time I did look around. One person I saw was eating with one hand whilst squeezing hand muscle grips with the other. I hope he remembers to alternate hands!
I opted for the tuna salad, which was quite nice, but really it should have been Art Nouveau! It looked really wonderful but there was not enough on the plate to worry a sufferer of anorexia nervosa!
And those terrible plastic chairs. After we left, I had more of a pain in my butt than that American guy I helped the other week (the one with hemorrhoids!) must have suffered!
Purposely designed I feel, to ensure we eat quickly (not difficult due to offered portions) and move us on out.
Added this one to my list of places never to attend again whilst I am still sane!
Damn these headaches!

The words are mine, the interpretation is yours. I write each single sentence and give it the depth of an ocean. I am sorrowed that some just see the sky reflected upon its surface.