Things I Learned About/From Doris Wishman by watching "Bad Girls Go To Hell" (1965)

1. Bad girls go to hell.
2. There are no bad girls in "Bad Girls Go To Hell".
3. To make up for it, all men are evil, belt-wielding rapists. Who probably don't go to hell. And they are waiting for you womenfolk about two steps outside of your front door.
4. Most women run around their apartments in their undies all day. If they want to do some cleaning, they throw over a negligee.
5. The best way to hide the lack of quality in your post-dubbing is to film your actors' backs as much as possible.
6. If you can't film a back, try to find a family of ducks to film while the dubbing actors talk. Or are these talking ducks?
7. All Lesbians SHOUT REALLY REALLY LOUD!
8. The thing that represents New York best can be found when you (as a New Yorker director) point your camera directly at the sky.
9. If the sky isn't available, there's always walking feet. Oh glorious, glorious feet!
10. On planet Wishman, time and space don't work the same way they do on our planet. Thankfully, there's the post-dubbed dialogue to oh so subtly tell us about any changes.
11. Most cops enter their mother's apartment through the walk-in closet. (Possibly 10b.)
12. After this film's ending, Groundhog Day can just go home.
13. I like planet Wishman.

 

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