A sport I’ve always loved and, as I’m such a hopeless case, I’ve never followed closely. Skating has always been a sport from ‘othSo, skating!
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A sport I’ve always loved and, as I’m such a hopeless case, I’ve never followed closely. Skating has always been a sport from ‘other’ countries: Russia, Japan, Canada, Scandinavian area (AKA: places where it’s fricking cold!). Meaning of this: it rarely appears on TV where I live. But lately it’s becoming closer and closer. Still, no response from my part. Wow.
I liked it a lot, because it’s a good book. However, there were parts that reminded me of Reading the Signs (a Canadian vs an American, Italian family, sports…). Not enough to say it’s a copy, but enough to say it wasn’t as original as I would have liked it to be.
This is supposed to be a YA-kind of book. At least, that’s the original idea, the original premise. It doesn’t feel that way, maybe NA, but that’s it. I’m not speaking about the chemistry or the sex scenes alone, but about everything surrounding the main pair. It feels mature, but they are young, so of course there are misunderstandings and a phase of self-discovering.
It’s true that at first the situation is hard to defend at first.
Alex is harsh and egocentric, only saying hurtful comments to everybody. I had a hard time believing he’s so mean but at the same time, he has lots of awesome friends and good people around him at all times.
Seriously?
Alex is super competitive, up to the point where he can only focus on winning, skating is the ‘need to win’ rather than the ‘need to skate’. I can understand athletes have an obsession, they spent most of their lives in their discipline, and not winning can be disheartening.
But… if you think about it, athletes lose a competition more often than winning it. So it’s only fair they develop a ‘second skin’ to bear the weigh and the pressure and still be able to enjoy what they are doing.
Alex focus so much on winning he loses himself in the process.
Matt is more balanced, he lives with his feet on the ground. He’s by far more experienced, but he still lives in the closet. However, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have to deal with challenges of his own. And something happens that puts his career and his self-esteem, in jeopardy.
Their relationship follows a natural path. Nothing comes out of the blue and strikes as something ‘strange’. It’s fun because at first Alex does not like Matt. Not at all. But hey, he’s not so bad now, yeah? But hey, he’s good, right? But hey, I wanna have sex with him right now!
Yes, it’s a comfort story, not much angst, lots of fluffy scenes, a couple of hot ones, and a moral that should sound pretentious, but it’s positive and uplifting instead.
I do recommend it.
*****
***ARC received from author via Indigo Marketing And Design in exchange for an honest review.***...more
I understand why people would have doubts pondering whether or not they should read this. I'm no different, I was suspicious. Age So very cute.
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I understand why people would have doubts pondering whether or not they should read this. I'm no different, I was suspicious. Age gap is no problem for me, but when you tell me one of the boys is 8 and the other one is 17, then I may have issues.
However, this story is not like I expected it to be. It's unbearably sweet. There are no graphic scenes, and no hint of sex until very into the series. I think the displays of affection truly begin when Ren is 15, and they are mostly kisses and hugs. So it may test the patience of more than one reader, but from my part, I'm hooked. The dynamics is so ambiguous, so significant but yet so very frustrating. It goes at a snail-pace, mind you.
Sometimes I wondered whether I was reading too much into this or not. Sometimes there is a big step forward that made my heart beat full force and my brain say "Awwww". Sometimes I just tried to go with the flow and try not to give labels, not to judge, not to expect this or that, not to focus on this on that, too much, or too little.
I found a new meaning to every little gesture. Maybe I think the world of them. Maybe.
The road is more important than the goal here, it seems.
Still, that wouldn't be enough to convince me, but I cannot in any way explain how this just 'clicks', how limits are so blurred you don't even get where that 'brotherly' affection ends and where the 'soul love' vibes start. It's so subtle, and so powerful.
It works.
And if it doesn't just stop reading it. No big deal.
There is a story beneath, even though it's not an epic story with big ups and downs. It's just the life of Haru, the oldest brother, with his two twin little brothers, Aki and Shima, and the youngest, newest adopted brother, Ren. Then we have Hary's mother, Haruko. And an unexpected guy so alike Haru, Natsu, who puts the things in jeopardy. Later, a Ren's nemesis, Akira, makes an appearance, and his imperturbable façade crumbles for once. Also, we have Ren's growing up, Ren's resistance at being considered a kid, and Ren's struggle to find his own place, to find his own space, and developing his own personality without being 'swallowed' by an overprotective Haru who may (or may not) see him as just a brother who needs to take care of him. On the other part, Haru's clueless loving behavior towards Ren was adorable but utterly annoying from time to time.
Slowly, they push each other apart but then they pull each other close, trying to find some leverage and balance. Trying to figure out what the other one means to them, what they do really mean to the other one.
She writes about something, she finishes it, she turns the page and she goes on with something different. I didn’t wanKA doesn’t “do repeats”.
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She writes about something, she finishes it, she turns the page and she goes on with something different. I didn’t want to read this because it was about sports. I wanted to try this one because it was done by her. She has already won my vote of confidence with the prospect of reading something by her. She only has to convince me, and that’s the challenge.
This story is about two men but there are many arcs, it was so complex in the end.
1. Love story (with an age gap): Nico – Jake. 2. Unrequited love and lost friendship: Jake – Brandon. 3. Guilt road: Nico – mother’s death. 4. Shame road: Nico – father’s homophobic attitude. 5. Health road: Nico – meltdowns before games. 6. Pear pressure road: Nico – expectations to be the best and how to deal with it all. 7. BDSM theme (a light one): Nico – Jake. 8. Rookie – veteran theme: Nico – Jake. 9. Retirement theme: Jake. 10. Obviously, the LBGT theme in a sports environment.
It doesn’t feel that way but in truth this book is not as simple as it seems at first. I don’t consider it a book about ‘sports’, although, ironically, the baseball topic was explained in a damn detailed way.
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And it’s funny because the novel is built in such a way that is not even the usual romance. It reads easy, so easy you don’t notice how short the love story really is. Despite this, the love story is balanced and, surprisingly, unhurried. Nico has had a crush on Jake since he can remember, and Jake cannot at first get the idea of a much younger man than him to be his other half… but he does. It's amazing how straight-forward it is, how non-dramatic and non-stupid. How honest and true. No bullshit in the middle.
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There are fun moments, too.
And there are heart-melting moments. The scenes with Nico's family were very emotive. I love how the characters have a background. They are not simply this guy who happen to play baseball. They have a past, they are the result of their experiences and their histories. They have depth.
The author could have made it more convoluted, with more drama-queenish moments and beating around the bush for the sake of it. But she didn’t.
I know nothing about baseball. Sometimes I felt I was watching a tennis match. I felt I was stupidly turning my head left and right, left and right, sometimes not even seeing the ball at all.
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I’m not even mad. I can work with lapses.
The pitcher and catcher jokes are a plus, but in truth I loved Jake’s reasons for his love of this sport. He shapes the game, he ‘controls’ it, but he also likes taking care of his players, of his team. I could see the parallelism here, and I thought that was beautiful.
All in all, I really enjoyed this one.
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*****
***ARC received from author via Indigo Marketing And Design in exchange for an honest review....more
Aidan Wayne really knows how to write feel-good books. Reading a story of these is a promise of a smile threatening to split mThis is so sweet!
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Aidan Wayne really knows how to write feel-good books. Reading a story of these is a promise of a smile threatening to split my face in two.
They are kind of theatre plays.
Basically they are about two characters with flaws, but this kind of flaws that are not really defects, but an aspect of their lives that prevents them from really looking for happiness because of the fear of how they willl be viewed and judged by society. The problem is, this view and judgment they are scared of focuses only on the superficial aspects rather than the real person beneath. The characters grow thanks to the other one, they get free of their chains and embrace and cherish what’s truly important of themselves. Or at least, they find the way to go there.
John’s surname in the Cirque is Phantom. It’s no wonder why that is, as half his face is scarred, like part of his body. People try not to get close to him if they can help it.
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Until Bao.
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Bao is the new Chinese acrobat. He is cheerful and doesn’t have a mean bone in his body. He loves talking to everybody. And, apparently, he seems to like to be close to John more than to anybody else.
John doesn’t know what to make of it. At first, he has no clue why someone like Bao would want to do anything with something like him. At first, he tells himself Bao is nice to everybody, and for once, he doesn’t make an exception with him. At first, he tells himself Bao just want him as a friend.
However, John begins to wish for something more, things that he gave up ages ago: a connection with someone. Love. He tries to lower his expectations, to extinguish hope before it ever has the chance to sparkle. He can be described as deliberately obtuse, but you also understand his reasons to be so blind, even when reality is so painfully obvious.
Because he knows it’s not possible. For someone to love him. For Bao to love him.
Is it?
Bao is adorbs. John is too cute for words. Their interactions made me hop on my seat. The action goes smoothly and their closeness happens naturally, without forcing the situation, which, by the length of the book, is impressive.
Bao can be considered too bright, too perfect, too selfless. But hey, John is the epitome of a generous heart, too. This may feel more like a fairy tale than the real world. But in the Cirque magic happens, right?
All in all, I can see this relationship being developed beyond that open ending, resulting in a great novel. In fact, I’m curious enough to know how this author is when writing a full story.
I have to be honest, I had to make an effort to read this book. Yes, the beginning was frustratingly slow. I just wanted them to be together fo[image]
I have to be honest, I had to make an effort to read this book. Yes, the beginning was frustratingly slow. I just wanted them to be together for once. But at the same time, I feared that moment, the scene in which they would meet again. Because... would it be the same? Or would it be less special, less unique? I needn't have worried, the magic was still there. Oh man, the good one indeed.
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They are separated most of the novel and you accompany them through their experiences without the other one and there was no moment in which you didn't think "This is so wrong!", despite them being more or less happy or satisfied with their lives. Strangely enough, Valentine develops a better balance than Lindsay does ever find, even though he is precisely the one that couldn't live all by himself. It's undeniable he's the one who walks the longer road to maturity and sense, whereas Lindsay sinks before he manages to float.
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I admit I had moments of panic. Moments in which I thought this status quo would never shatter. Because Valentine gets a comfortable life. Because he is happy and complete, even though it's a different kind of completion. Sometimes I could really see him living like that his whole life. But it wasn't acceptable because it wasn't with Lindsay. It was imperative that the chosen one was Lindsay and no other. That was my goal and my rules and I wouldn't resign myself with less. No way I would accept any other reality. No matter how fulfilling and satisfying it was. Selfish, I know. But true.
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I felt a little like the bitch when finally Lindsay and Valentine get together again. The moment when they finally meet felt like a shock, as if the author suddenly decided stretching things too long would be useless, which I appreciate, as it would have been a perfect occasion to write pages and pages and pages talking nonsense and taking advantage of the reader's love towards the characters. I was glad that Richard Rider called it a day and moved things forward. And I should be embarrassed that I felt GREAT at seeing (view spoiler)[Valentine's relationship shatter (hide spoiler)], but I'm not. In the end, it doesn't make too much noise after all. It's so smooth and nice I felt much better than before because no way something very meaningful breaks in such a silent way with no further repercussions.
All in all, I felt this was a transition book. It's the skin you leave behind to learn to feel at ease in your new one. And it's utterly a shiny stunning skin.
It was ok, I guess. I expected so much more, though.
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It gives an interesting insight of what a transgender person's daily life can be. It's not It was ok, I guess. I expected so much more, though.
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It gives an interesting insight of what a transgender person's daily life can be. It's not a gay story, not even a gay-for-you. It's rather an only-for-you romance.
The MC, Stuart, is into girls, and always has been. One night he's in a bar in the process of intoxicating himself, and a woman saves him. A woman whose name is Tim. Stuart sees him as a woman, and feels an instant attraction. But he is not a woman. Stuart comes to terms with this and pushes the labels aside. He falls in love with the person, not the genre.
I have no problem with that.
But it left me cold. I couldn't revel in the feelz, I couldn't feel as close to the characters as I would have liked. There is nothing quite tangible I can blame the fail for, but it obviously wasn't written for me, as I wasn't able to get into the characters' skin. I felt detached, as if watching a chain of events from a distance, which is a pity, because I was dazzled by both the Caged and the F.I.S.T.S. series....more
When a book makes me feel stupid from the start, it's not a good sign.
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There is a very important experiment from the 50s in which the investigatWhen a book makes me feel stupid from the start, it's not a good sign.
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There is a very important experiment from the 50s in which the investigators were looking for certain demonstrations but chance wanted them to find other facts that would change the perspective of psychology and certain diseases. They put an electrode on the nuccleus accumbens on a rat, and every time the rat pushed a lever, it was stimulated with electrical shocks. The rat liked pushing the lever. The rat loved it. It preferred pushing that lever even more than drinking, eating or sleeping. The more time passed, the most frequently those shocks were produced. They had found the pleasure centers.
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Abusers have it easier to be sick. It's not because it gives them some kind of immunodeficiency, but because they break their skin multiple times, and that's the most effective barrier against infections. Coma due to intoxication is nothing innocuous. Passing out after drinking liters of alcohol could end up in aspiration pneumonia or pancreatitis or cigar burns. Endocarditis is something to consider if you have persistent fever. Maybe the pure drug is harmless but additives can give problems. Et cetera.
They visit the hospital due to lots of reasons, and sometimes it's because their veins are so eroded they don't find a place to inject the dosis. You know there are no abstinence syndromes in hospitals. They give you drugs to keep them at bay. Nurses put the i.v. into the jugular or the femoral vein and the next day the bed is empty because they are happy to have found a new road for their addiction.
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I'm disappointed in the drug part. I don't want to sound smug but I don't feel this is close to the real thing. To begin with, pleasure centers are NEVER recuperated in their totality. They get better but not 100% as those a healthy person has. Drug damage is forever, which doesn't mean quitting is useless. Quitting is always good. But never completely reversible. The author makes you believe it's totally reversible, but it's not. Abusing and then curing is a lie. Better to prevent than to cure AND easier to destroy than to create (except cancer). Those two statements are true in almost everything.
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You know about the brain reward circuit? It's the same circuit we exercise when we do things that make you feel pleasure. Like sex, game, food and success. It's essential for our survival, as we "seek" to breed and eat and outdo ourselves to get better in life. It makes you chase that feeling so you repeat and repeat the acts you have done to achieve that feeling. You study, you have good marks, you are successful, you study more. Then there is the pain circuit, the one that punishes you. Social exclusion, physical pain, grief. You run away from them. You stop studying, you fail, you feel like crap, you stop being lazy.
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It's related to memory, motivation and pleasure. And when you abuse it with drugs you want more and more, because you are less and less sensitive to the neurotransmitters that activate said circuit, mostly dopamine and serotonin. So you take more and more and more. When you quit, you don't feel the same pleasure you used to feel when you read a book or watched a movie or had sex. You lose the ability to feel pleasure at simple things and you lose motivation and concentration. Your only love is the drug. And your brain complains at the withdrawal.
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You know what is the best way to erase a headache after a drunkenness? Drinking alcohol. It's infallible. But you'd end up alcoholic. Your brain complains at the sudden absence of that substance it has gotten used to. Morbid obesity is related to this pathway, too. That last disease is treated with stomach bypass, but the real cure would be burning the hypothalamus.
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Drug abuse is the same. You use heroin, you feel amazing, you take more. You stop using heroin, you feel like crap and even hurts, you take more. Of course, there is a certain border you have to cross to stop feeling the pleasure effect and start feeling the punishment effects. In the beginning you seek the drug for its reward effects. After some time you seek it to avoid the punishment effects. Fun is temporal. There are differences, of course. With some drugs you only develop psychological dependence and never physical. With some the punishment effects come very late and the opposite for another ones. There are lots of variations based on the kind of drug and the way of taking it. In any case, rich people have no problem, they pay the heroin or any other drug of choice and have it available every time. No abstinence. But normal people... normal people have it difficult. It's an expensive hobby, and often not compatible with a normal living or job. Abstinence and hell.
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With Christian It seemed that quitting heroin after several years using it is a piece of cake. And he deciding to do so out of the blue with no reason at all? After everything else he let to happen in order to remain with his "true love"? Really? I don't buy it. And when he quits, after 3 YEARS (capital letters because it's not a small thing) he is as fast as ever, body and mind. Like if the constant mindfuck had never really happened. This is sci-fi.
Addiction part no realistic at all.
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Book One made me feel stupid. Seriously, Hunter is supposed to be 35, give or take. But he behaves like a teen. He doesn't know what he wants. He has zero personality. He lets Christian do what he wishes because he has no willpower so he can't do anything to stop him. If Christian was surreal, Hunter is empty as a kicked Coke can. I don't feel there is some kind of intelligence or past in any of them, they are so flat and superficial as they seem. They have been together for weeks and there is no bond, small or big, as if time has not really passed. Have they really interacted during that time? There are only two people in a cabin out in the woods so at least some contact is expected, not necessarily in the physical or romantic sphere, but still. They don't feel like real people for me.
Book Two is better. We meet Christian's POV and even though his past was dubious and dark or maybe precisely because of that, he's by far more interesting. But he's most of the time (view spoiler)[completely alone (hide spoiler)] and I was desperate for the moment of the (view spoiler)[meeting again (hide spoiler)] to come.
Book Three is more fun. But it has eye-rolling moments, too. For instance, when (view spoiler)[Christian and Hunter are in the hospital. Christian wakes up and Hunter offers morphine, but Christian refuses it because "it takes him away and he doesn't want to go away. He wants to stay with Hunter". (hide spoiler)] Can something get sappier than that? I dare you to find something sappier. You better find a good one.
To summarize the book as a whole: The problem I see here is I don't understand their connection, if there is any. This is the best definition of insta-love and insta-lust. When that happens in a book you wonder "What's going on?" because I can't shake that feeling some pages just went missing. (view spoiler)[Saying "I love you" (hide spoiler)] in page 69 was a royal anticlimax, a eye-rolling moment if there was one. I found it pretentious and empty. Yes, I know (view spoiler)[some months (hide spoiler)] supposedly passed, but that's why you need to fill the gaps with more interaction and brushes. Falling for each other that fast with no basis doesn't give you any authentic feeling they are made for each other. This book needed to be longer in those parts, and shorter in others.
Also, they are not the real MC of the book, they just get in the middle of an armed conflict in Hunter's company. They are not even the real pawns, just some people who happened to be there and are used by the players to do what they wish. This is not necessarily bad, but didn't help to make their story feel important. I didn't even understand (view spoiler)[Wendy's or Bantick's (hide spoiler)] psychology in taking advantage of them. When the explanation came I was like "Is that all?". I don't understand why Hunter's mates hold that much power, they never appeared as true adversaries for me. I found the general plot a little like background noise, not important, but annoying enough to upset you.
The pair was quite inconsistent. One moment it's sex and everything is fun. The next moment they are cold with each other. Then they want to be together. Then they can't be together. Then they'd die for each other. Then they have doubts. Hunter is responsible for most of this. He has the personal development of a rock. He is the one who really cares but his acts say otherwise because he is cool with everything, too controlled. Christian was the smart-ass and I ended up liking him much more, but it wasn't enough to make up for the book.
All in all, I liked Christian more than Hunter, because, seriously, sometimes I thought Hunter only has one brain cell.