fanclub???

-free advert- i dont get paid for this-

This is w.e.i.r.d! damn weird.

In my earlier post I mentioned that I wanted to find out who that lady with the name H@nn@hT that I saw on a poster. Today, I opened my uni mail to delete emails in there because I already set them to forward to my gmail.

I was checking the boxes for the emails I wanted to delete when I found one email from H@nn@hT Club dated 30 December 2006. (Correction, not one, I received 5 emails!) I found that I was subscribed to news from the club. Holy molly... since when? I don't remember getting that same email in my gmail.

Euwwwww... sorry morry naik lorry... I never ever subscribed to any celebs (or claimed to be celebs) fan club! Ok may be she looks hot with the photos in that email with the least clothes on.. but NOOOOOO... I'm not her fan. Sorry dear.. you may look hot.. but I don't belong to any fan club, certainly not yours. I only like ceiling fan!

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Talking 'bout fan... there is one person that I think should be a celeb and I'll be the #1 Fan.. I watched AI audition in NY (NY kan?), and that 16-yr-old african american boy brought up by a Bolivian family deserves to be in the final. I couldn't get his name, but he's so yummy looking, with sweet smile and nice voice! Come to momma... :D
Do I have to mark AI on my time table now? hehhehehe....

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To my dearest friend of 18 years, YAWN, Happy Birthday dear!


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Postnote- 30/1/07 - I found my "heartthrob"'s audition video!!.. he's such a darlinggggggg..... hehehe..




I'll give anything to fall in love...

The right combination

I was laughing alone when I found this video. This was one of my favourite duet song back in 1990. The years when New Kids on the Block (NKOTB) was the chart topper. When I saw the video.. mak aihh.. gile lawak!!.. hideous hair styles & clothes.. you don't wanna be caught dead wearing that dress and that kinda hair now. It was 'cool' back then. Wait, did we even use the word 'cool' to describe 'cool' then?

Ramblings...

1. I sooooo want to watch BoyzIIMen but I can't make it.... tsk... huhuhuhu.... I'll just sing the 'end of the road' to myself lah tonight

2. I survived a sibling's kenduri kawin at home. I chose to be 'orang dapur' so that I didn't have to meet the guests with 1001 questions. It didn't work well actually. I was summoned 9 times to go and meet some makcik who asked for me. Most of them were my kindy-friend's-moms who came to give their daughter's updates (i.e. how many kids their daughters have). One makcik specifically requested to see me because she heard about me from his son.

Yes makcik we went to Langkawi together some years ago but that was a group trip, I did not date your son. Yes he came to my apartment once, that was because his then girlfriend needed a place to stay overnight.

I saw that Mak gave me that different, kind-of-weird-smile when I talked to the makcik. Sorry Mak, no chance there, I actually spoke to 'the son' on the phone during raya haji.. and 'the son' plans to marry his gf this year. The only reason that keeps him from getting married all these while is the mom! All the girls he wanted to marry never fit his mom's high profile checklist. Poor boy!

3. Have you ever watched 'Wh@t Women W@nt'? I watched a few episodes by accident, the first reason was I wanted to find out who's Hann@h T ( I saw a huge poster at a record store & I was wondering siapakah minah ini).. Ish ish ish.... I wonder how these guys became finalists (there are a few OKs in there.. but just OK). I just donno how a guy can not know what's ABS.. it's ok if they don't know what they call a cross between bikini & swimsuit coz I dont know that either! Some of them are just so sissy... what? new age sensitive guy?? duh! Why can't these guys follow simple instructions?

4. Saya TERtonton sinetron Red Shallot White Shallot* itu semalam... saya nggak benci tengok watak-watak jahat itu... they are just clowns who know how to take advantage & chances. Tapi saya benci banget tengok bawang putih sama itu Ferdi. Ya ampuuuuunnnnnnn... Ferdi itu sangat pon**n dan bawang putih itu stupid selfish b***h! Maaf ya buat peminat sinetron itu. I just don't get how that series became 'cerita teladan'.

5. Sometimes... the signs tell you to stop. Yet deep down you still hope that things will change. You want to keep it going. You keep on hoping.. but you're not blind/deaf/mute. You can see, you can feel, you can hear it... you know when one just doesn't care anymore. so STOP.

Ubi: anyone going to the BoyzIIMen concert? send my love to the trio

*Red Shallot White Shallot- ape lah I merapu.. this one should be 'shallot & garlic'

I will never leave you again...

I always follow the rule when they say "Please turn off your handphone before you board the flight". I searched in my handbag, wanting to turn my phone off but I couldn’t find it. My handphone was not in there! OMG! I remember putting it on the table beside my handbag. I grabbed my handbag, but not the phone.. arghhhhh!! The flight was going to depart in 15 minutes. There was no way for me to make s.o.s call and ask anyone at home to send the phone to the airport.

The plan went like..

I’ll call you when I get there.

Ok.

I’ll give you the direction when you’re there.

Alright.

That would be easy when you have all the numbers in your phone and when the phone is with you but that was not my case!

I wished I was still in those pre-mobile phone days, when I had that little address/phone book with all my friends’ contacts written in it and those days I could memorized at least 20 phone numbers. This time, I could only recall 3 numbers, one of home, one of my sister’s and another one - a number I that used to dial frequently using i-Talk missed callback. I had no choice but to call home and asked my sis to find numbers on my phone. I gave her the right to answer my calls and of course, she had access to all my text messages. Not good, not good! People who called actually told me that we had similar voices. My friend thought it was me pretending to be someone else.

A friend asked;
‘what if someone called and said will you marry me and she said yes on your behalf?’.
To that friend, well, I am very sure that no one sober would ask me that question and if that happened, the caller would have to marry her lah, not me! :P

I started to appreciate coins again. And you vandals, stop vandalizing public phone! You don’t know the misery of going round and round searching for a public phone only to find one that is not working!

So there.. I spent 5 days in 2 countries and 3 states without my mobile.

I finally reunited with my mobile phone after claiming it at a courier service office just now.

I promise I’ll never leave you again. I can't live without you… oh my sayang nokia.

ramble on the blog

I read a relationship-guide book for the first time last night. I was doing some work in a friend's room when the book, nicely place on her shelf caught my attention. Finished the book overnight…read it while laughing at myself, shed a few drops of saltwater and finally, feeling good knowing that I’m not the only fool who took the wrong turns and steps in life… it wasn’t the best book around, some crap in there too.. but I learnt!

I try not to attend weddings these days (Nan, if you’re reading this, I didn’t avoid yours, I couldn’t be there on your special day, I really wanted to :( )… I’ve attended far too many. I can bet if we were to have a contest of who attended the most number of friends’ weddings among my school/college/uni friends, I could at least be in the top three...not a surprise if I get the no.1 spot! I’ve had enough… but i think it would be too cruel if I miss a sister’s wedding. I wanna see her on her happy day.… so a trip home today. Now I’m actually thinking of getting myself a burqa so that no one except my family would know that I’m around. I don’t want some distant makciks/cousins get to ask “ni bila lagi?”. Do you really have to ask?

these words are my own..

I wrote that earlier post not to test whether you ppl sayang I ke tak.. that wasn’t to boost my ego. At that point in time, a week into the year, I really wanted to end ubisetela blog , but I decided not to do it after the failed attempts, hence the earlier post.

Some friends told me, it's your blog, just write whatever you want. It’s a place to vent you anger sadness etc.. I know. I actually wished that I’m totally anon, faceless..that no one knows who Ubisetela is .. then it would be easier to write things, vent out everything… but that is not my case. My friends read mine, especially my girlfriends, some of my nieces know that I blog, even my best-male buddy friends asked his wife to read my blog and report if anything doesn’t sound right (I have some very caring & protective buddies!). So I find it hard to really make this as my confession-cum-emo-venting-board.

On some post where I didn’t explicitly write what I feel, some friends contacted me and asked ‘are you alright? You don’t sound ok on your so & so post’.. they can read my mind meh! I luv you girls lah! *muah muah*.. you ppl care so much that sometimes I feel guilty if I make you gals (and very few guys) worried. That’s why I’d rather write happy happy happy posts!

And there are other friends... that I didn’t even know that they read mine because they never drop a line on my comment box or chat box.. and out of nowhere, when they find some post worthy of some gossip, they would ask for 'further story'. The end of last year I received an email...

" I read your El-O-Vee-Ee post. Are you in love with a married man?"
...followed by bla bla bla.. lecturing me so that 'jangan ambik laki orang'.

ahahahahahah…. *rotfl* hahahhahahaha……
I wonder how on earth that person came up to that conclusion.

To you who asked, obviously you don’t know me well enough if you ask me that question!
The answer is NO.. never! I don’t steal and will not steal another woman’s man. If a married man gatal enough to woo me, he deserved to be ‘bobbited’.. err, before that I’ll go check with the current wife whether she still need his tool intact :)

Anyways… insya Allah , I’ll keep Ubisetela alive.. and as per May’s request, I’ll let you all know if I’m gonna commit suicide anytime soon.. I mean if I'm gonna kill my blog, not the real me, nauzubillah!

I wanna say thanks to all blogfriends.. the ones I know and the ones I don’t.. the ones who speak up and the ones who came but never leave a mark (except the number on my visitor stats). I love you all… *muah muahh.. hugs*.

I leave you with this video…





Ubi: To you there, you still don't know which one is gerbera? Gerbera is that flower Natasha cuts and holds in the video.. yes, that’s my favourite!

a murder plan failed

Let me tell you one little story...

I don’t have a room to call my own at the moment. My car (err.. the car is not really mine) is 'the place' where I layan my soul, just me alone, it’s the place where I can sit and think and nurse some pain or sing out loud to whatever song that came from the radio. A few days ago, while I was sitting and thinking in my parked car, at almost 12 midnight, I decided to end this blog. Yeah, that was my decision at that time. I wanted to pull off the plug. (wah.. macam lah important pun blog ni kan? Itu pun nak drama!..)

Why? I wanted to end my blog because since the new year, almost everyday, I drafted something sad.. sometimes full of anger… I’m not angry with anyone else, but rather with MYSELF… and after done with writing I kept deleting them, I didn’t get them published… almost like trying to delete whatever feelings I have.

So that night, I thought I’d better stop… stop being sad, stop being angry, and why not stop blogging altogether? I’ve been writing crap anyway.

So, there, at midnight, I drove to the nearest internet cafe. For some weird reason, after trying 14 times (yes, I counted!), I could not access my blogger account. Then the next day, after a discussion with former lecturer/ex-colleague, I took my laptop and went to starbucks. Something else happened, my wifi card gone wacko and I failed to get any connection. This time, I did not count how many times I tried. Grrrrr….

Hah.. there.. I saw the sign… don’t stop it just yet. I’d go kill ubisetela some other time lah.

love just ain't enough

Sometimes love just ain't enough: City of Angels

(note: there are some glitches in that video)

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Now I could never change you
I don't wanna blame you
Baby you don't have to take the fall
Yes I may have hurt you
But I did not desert you
Maybe I just want to have it all
It makes a sound like thunder
It makes me feel like rain
And like a fool who will never see the truth
I keep thinking something's gonna change

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So they say two different worlds can never be put together, could never be as one....

Would you try to bring the two worlds closer?

or should you just stop trying....

when an angel cries...

she really is a drama queen..

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~ HAPPY NEW YEAR 2007! ~

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I was a bit down on this new year morning. Probably because those exactly 24 hours spent at home for AidilAdha were not enough. I didn't get the chance to taste things that Mak cooked. It wasn't the food that's important, but Mak mentioned that she thought I wanted to have such & such so she cooked it. Guilty, ok. She managed to spoon me some soup after I did the salam-cium-tangan thingy, and I was already at the door, outside.

Oh dear, at this 'tua' age, I still get homesick!

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A poem that a friend wrote in my autograph back in my schooldays came to mind.. you remember those time you spent writing nice words & decorating autograph in between studying for you SPM papers? Do you kids still have that these days? So back to the poem, I can still remember what A.J wrote in mine, I loved the poem.. I googled the lines and found that it was originally written by Veronica A. Shoffstall. Here it goes, cut and pasted here.

After a while

“After awhile you learn the subtle difference

between holding a hand and chaining a soul.

And you learn that love doesn't mean security,

And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts

And presents aren't promises.

And you begin to accept your defeats with you head up and your eyes open.

With the grace of maturity, not the grief of a child.

And you learn to build all your roads on today

because tommorow's ground is too uncertain for plans,

And futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.

After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much.

So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul,

Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.

And you learn that you really can endure...

That you really are strong

And that you really do have worth.

And you learn and learn and learn ....

With every goodbye you learn.”

Ubi: I hate the silence...