Dear Mr. Proctor & Mr. Gamble:
My name is Cathy Keisha and I'm a very well-respected and well-connected cat blogger.
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| TW, didn't you buy cat Bounty? |
I'm writing today on a topic of epic proportions. We are approaching crisis time here in the condo. As you know, we stopped using most of your products back on the mid-80s when we learned of all the horrible testing your company used animals for. We did, however, resume using Bounty paper towels when you brought out the cute cat prints. We couldn't resist. Now, however, we can't find them in Pathmark. In fact, we can't find them anywhere! All they have is crappy U.S. Olympic prints. BRING BACK THE CATS! Even though they were a kinda poor excuse for what cats really look like, still they were cats and they were cute. We're on the last roll and, if we can't find more cat towels, we'll be forced to look to another brand. After all, white is white, right?
Strength isn't really an issue here since the peeps use the cat Bounty as placemats. Everyone knows that if you have a REALLY BIG spill like
The Great Birch Beer Caper, you clean it up with cloth towels to save the environment. Of course, this brings the question why the peeps don't use reusable placemats for themselves. They give ME a reusable placemat. But that's between me and them for another time.
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| They are kinda cute and they ARE cats! Bring back the cat prints! |
Mr. P. & Mr G., I don't think you know who you're messing wit'. My teeth and claws are razor sharp! I know I'm just a little ghetto kitteh; but when I have questions, you'd better have answers, na mean? So, what happened to the cat print Bounty and why isn't it on my store's shelves????
While I have your attention, I thought I'd mention that your new website is
f**ked messed up. We couldn't FIND the towels we were looking for. We couldn't find much of anything. All the links led back to the very confusing and busy home page or some shopping site that wasn't for the product we clicked on. And, oh yeah, before I sign off, we know you're lying so
STOP TESTING ON ANIMALS!
Very truly yours,
Cathy "Stunning" Keisha