Wishful Thinking

I normally work on Tuesdays and Fridays. I work Fridays because Jason is home so he gets to hang out with Clara. Why Tuesdays? When I was working full time I dreaded Monday so much that it usually put a damper on my Sunday evening. Around 6 or 7:00pm, I would realize I didn't have much weekend time left and I would get anxious thinking about another long work week. So when I started working at my client, I picked Tuesday as my second day. However, the last month has been all over the place because of the audit. This week, I was scheduled to work on Monday. Instead of the usual dread on Sunday night, I was giddy. Monday was going to be the only day I worked, which made it easy to get over my Sunday-night-before-work lull. After all, it's been a while since I had a one day work week, in fact, it's even been a while since I've had a two day work week. I was really looking forward to getting work over with for a whole week on Monday.

I should've known, it was all a bunch of wishful thinking.

I worked Monday. And Tuesday. And today. I guess I would've been really grumpy Sunday night had I known I was going to work three days, so maybe it's better that I didn't know it at the time. The good news is, I finally finished the project I was working on so I am desperately hoping my schedule will return to normal next week. Life here in the Penrod home is a total chaotic mess when I work too much. I have lots and lots and lots of cleaning to catch up on. Clara wants to go the library tomorrow, though, so the cleaning may not get all done. Especially since we are much closer to a library than a butterfly farm.

Notable

Noteworthy items from the last month or so...

One day we went to play in my parent's front yard and shortly after Captain Hook (aka Me) was taken down by Peter Pan (aka Clara), Clara found her first lady bug crawling on Captain Hook. She loved letting it crawl all over her hands and would giggle when it crawled up her arm.
We went to play in the water at Beka's. There are some other funny pictures... but someone's shorts kept falling off resulting in too much hiney being exposed.One day we went on a walk to look at the flowers. I wanted a picture of those pretty white flowers on the saguaros, but since I'm not 18 feet tall, I couldn't reach. Instead, I found these lovely yellow flowers in a barrel cactus.

Kirkland's vanilla ice cream (thanks Rachel!) on these half homemade, half box brownies. Enough said.

Clara loves to paint. I'm worried she's inherited my creativity.

And my fashion sense. Maybe her creative aunties can rub off on her.

Last week Clara and I woke up at 5am and rushed to Krispy Kreme. We waited in line for a few hours to get $2/dozen donuts and 365 cards. 365 card=free donut every day for the next 365 days. Arriving at nearly the same time as Kathryn, Lucy and Elsa made our adventure much more enjoyable.

Clara got a dog! See, it's red. She dragged Jason's shorts, I mean her dog, around and named her Lily-Elsa. My goodness I love this child's imagination.

I bought Jason a new shirt and my mom bought the same one for James. Jason didn't know it but he found out when we had James wear his shirt on the same day. Aw, how cute.

This one might be just to reiterate the point that Clara's got lots of pizazz.

PS Why are some of my pictures so blurry when I make them big? They all started out the same size but some get fuzzy when I post them bigger, but some don't. Help!

Weekly Goals

In order to enjoy this week more than the last, I decided to set a few goals.
1. Do the dishes more than once (so Jason doesn't spend 2 hours Sunday night doing days of accumulated dishes).
2. Work less than 30 hours a week. I would say less than 20, but considering I have logged 13.75 already, 20 would be pushing it.
3. Go on a field trip with Clara. I don't know where and I don't know when, but we're gonna go have fun. She did tell me today she wants to go to a butterfly farm while reading Fancy Nancy. Anyone know where the nearest butterfly farm is?
4. Put the laundry away that I folded on Saturday. At least this batch got folded.
5. Vacuum.
6. Enjoy the outdoors. That always refreshes me and Clara loves being outside.
7. Spend more quality time with Clara so I don't get annoyed with her when she has to beg for my attention.

Laughing-Induced Sobs

Last night, I was sitting in bed working.

Jason was working on his computer.

I looked up and immediately started laughing before I asked him what my brain had already wondered.

I could barely speak because I was laughing so hard.

All the while Jason could not understand what was so funny.

Through laughter and tears, I asked if he'd tried to trim his hair.

Obviously he had (see below) and obviously he hadn't seen the results.

I was laughing so hard, I could barely hold my phone still enough to take the picture.

I had to sit on the floor for a few minutes until I was able to regain my composure.

Maybe it was late and I was running on little sleep.

But I'm thinking it was knowing that my poor husband didn't realize his attempted trim looked like the result of a two-year old's hair butchering.

At least I noticed it the day he committed the hilarious crime and thank goodness he wears collared shirts to work.

Before he came to bed, I heard him get the clippers out. I was exhausted and half-way asleep. But, I crawled out of bed, cause that's a sacrifice I was willing to make. I would've done a lot more than that too, to avoid my honey going to work another day with this trim.

I made sure Jason didn't mind that I posted this picture, so don't worry, this is husband-approved mockery.

Missing The Goose

My mom watched Clara today. Afterwards, Clara and I tagged along with my family to Tempe Marketplace for FHE. We attempted to visit an ASU art exhibit, but it isn't open on Mondays. Shucks. Instead we shopped and ate Chinese at 8pm. By the time we got back, it was after 9pm. My mom convinced me to let Clara sleep over since I'd just be bringing her back first thing in the morning.

Here I am, kidless, and not enjoying it one bit. I get a little selfish when it comes to my time with Clara. Perhaps it's because I work or perhaps it's because she's one awesome child (maybe even both), but I feel like my life is a constant battle to spend more time with Clara. I used to think having a "kid-free" night would be so fun. In reality, there is nothing fun about not getting to put my little turkey to bed and not getting to see this face in the morning:
Missed hugs, kisses, silly comments, cheeks to pinch, hands to hold, hair to soothe, feet to tickle and skin to rub. Not to mention I didn't have anyone talking my ear off on the way home and I won't get to hear a scripture narrated by Clara. Boring. She tells the best scripture stories, by the way. They almost always include Nephi, Laman and Lamo (aka Lemuel) and a princess of some sort. Last night someone got slapped in the mouth. (Not sure where her love of discussing violence is coming from). I am sure, I'll miss her and I long for weeks that include much more Clara time.
PS I am very grateful for my mom's offer, don't get me wrong. Plus, it is much, much more convenient this way and will save me lots of time. I'm just saying, it's hard for me to give up my time with her, even if it is just better for me.

Mother's Day Letters

Dear Jason,
Thank you for making this Mother's Day great. 2+ hours of massages, breakfast in bed, help with dishes, a sweet card and picking up and delivering the bookshelf and 180 pounds of wheat. It was a good weekend.

Dear Connie,
Thank you for birthing and raising said Jason. It is so wonderful being married to a man that respects his wife and honors his priesthood. The longer we're married, the more I think that I couldn't have asked for a better husband for me.

Dear Clara,
Thank you so much for giving me the opportunity to experience motherhood with you. It has allowed me to experience a happiness I never thought possible and have a greater appreciation for my own mother. Words can not express, nor can the mind fathom, the joy I have been blessed with during the last 3+ years. Nothing on earth could ever compare.

Dear Mom,
Thank you for being my mother. I have learned and continue to learn so much from you. I am especially grateful that you taught me all that you did in regards to the family's role in our divine plan of happiness. By example you instilled within me a testimony of the sacred role of mothers. Of course by doing so, I was able to see you experience the natural by product, joy.

I hope all of you had a great day. You deserve it.

Pictures to be added later... fun, old pictures to be exact, I've heisted my mom's old photo albums.

The Gila Valley Temple

Several months ago, R&K mentioned the date they planned to attend the Open House of the Gila Valley Temple. For several months, I had very good intentions to get reservations for a hotel and tickets for the Open House for the same time. Too bad I am a procrastinator. On Thursday, I was in KS and started talking to Ryan about it. By then, everything was sold out. Enter B&K. They had extra tickets for the Open House and decided not to use their hotel reservations. People should really stop bailing me out when I procrastinate, I learn nothing. I was grateful, nonetheless, that we were able to go on a mini-vacation. We left Friday night and headed to Thatcher. Our room was right next to R&K and every morning I got to see and hold happy babies and Clara got to see Lucy and Elsa. Life would be a party living next door to family. Saturday morning, we decided to stay Saturday night. I told Jason it was the most sporadic thing I've ever done. Clint later asked if I meant spontaneous. Yes, that's exactly what I meant. You see, there is a reason I do everything. A clear, concrete (to me, anyway) reason I do everything. If it involves money, it's even more clear and more concrete. I normally think, analyze, calculate how many hours of work we are wasting, stress over the unexpected expense, etc., until my head hurts. Not this weekend! We told Clara we were staying another night and she asked why. It felt good to answer, "Just for fun." I am working on doing that more often. Sometimes it is good to spend money just to enjoy life. (But only sometimes :)). Jason laughed that our first vacation of the year was to Thatcher, of all places. Honestly, we enjoyed being there because there weren't different things to do and places to go so we were really able to relax and enjoy family time. On Saturday we tagged along with R&K to lunch with her family before going to the Open House.

Of course, the temple was beautiful. Of the physical beauty, I was most impressed with the chandelier* in the Celestial Room. Hopefully they include a picture of it somewhere so people that weren't able to go get to see it. The strongest emotion I had while there, and it actually came during the little intro video they showed, was of the sacrifice the early saints made to have a temple. I take having a temple so close for granted and rarely make a sacrifice to attend. I certainly didn't sacrifice anything to have it or any of the upcoming ones built. I had a renewed desire to sacrifice to attend the temple more and to remember the sacrifice of those that didn't have it so easy.

We ran into Steve & Laschelle, some of my favorites from Snowflake. I was best friends with their only daughter Brittany and sometimes called myself their other daughter. As such, Steve took it upon himself to tell Clara he's her third grandpa. Now she keeps saying "I need to go to Snowflake to bisit my nother bampa". They've promised corn if I come, so maybe next time we're in their neighborhood...

That night we lounged around. Sunday morning we took pictures by the temple and then went to church. I think that's only like the second or third time in my life I have gone to a random ward that I didn't know a soul.

Little did we know the wind would be tornado-ous on Sunday. I didn't mind, I just wanted to make sure to get some picture documentation of our purpose for visiting the area.

I love the mountains with snow in the background.

Things to note...

- I could eat a pound of chips and salsa. I DID eat a pound of chips and salsa!

- I forgot my toothbrush, my blow dryer, bathing suit and shampoo and conditioner. I don't normally forget things when I travel, but I guess that's what happens when I try to pack in 5 minutes. I almost forgot my camera but remembered it, thankfully, 30 seconds after we left.

- We ate 5 pounds of Cuties in less than 24 hours. Yum.

- I have less of a desire to upgrade our Queen size bed to a King. Jason and I don't move much when we sleep so really, sleeping in a King just meant having to scoot farther to cuddle.

- I asked Clara if she liked staying in a hotel. She told me she just wanted to go to her home. Good to know she likes our house even compared to a clean hotel.

- When we decided to stay, I went to Wal Mart to buy some groceries for lunch on Sunday. The only problem was we didn't have an ice chest to keep it cold during church. I got a bag of ice from the hotel, and wrapped that and our food in Clara's blanket. Worked perfectly.

- We were gone for six meals and only ate out twice. Granted two of our meals were the continental breakfast at the hotel, but still. We didn't save a ton of money by doing this but I felt much, much better physically not eating out six meals straight. Restaurant food is so much fattier, saltier and I normally over eat. I was glad we had an alternative.

- Um, that's all.

Life As I Know It

Monday night as I walked into the laundry room after work and stumbled over the shoes that were all over the floor (we have a basket, but somehow the shoes are rarely in it), I thought, My life is nothing like I expected it to be. I started pondering this thought. My conclusion? It's true, my life is really nothing I expected it to be. But who's is?


When I was attending ASU, I remember the first day of my small group communication class. We took the first bit of class time to introduce ourselves, including what our goals after graduation were. Graduate degrees, exciting jobs, business owners, traveling and then me: a mom. (The only other time I solicited that many shocked expressions at ASU was when I explained the reason I was getting my CIS degree was for fun. {But come on, was that any more shocking than my classmate who was a concert pianist and was getting his CIS degree as a backup?})

Anyway, I knew I wanted a family. Even though I wasn't married, I knew filling life with things that matter (family) is what brings true happiness. I had a strong desire to raise and nurture a family. I found my prince charming, finished school and started my career. I enjoyed what I did, but when Clara came along, I was more than ready to really get into the "real" part of life. Everything until then (school, work, etc.) seemed like a filler. It was fun, but it wasn't joy. It seemed having a baby had more purpose than all the things I'd accomplished in the accounting world combined. I experienced joy. Lots of it and it still keeps coming. I worked a little on the side and enjoyed being a mother more than I enjoyed anything in life up to that point. It was rewarding and fulfilling in ways my career could not be. I didn't want to rush into having another kid, but visions of a house full of kids frequented my day dreams. As we know, reality often differs from day dreams.

Time only brought more clients, not more kids. I didn't plan that, not at all. I chose the first part, but I think it was somewhat of a subconscious fall back plan since the other part wasn't working out the way I had hoped. However, as I stumbled over shoes thinking about this, I also concluded that I am happy. Happy because I have learned to take time when making decisions I have control over and not waste time worrying about things I don't have control over. Someday the client count will go down and the kid count will go up, but until then, I can and do enjoy life as it comes.
On our way home from Snowflake a few weekends ago, I attempted to take a picture of the beautiful blue sky (by sticking my camera out the window as we were going 70 MPH) and accidentally captured this shot. I love it.

Vicious Cycle

Every now and then, my sleeping patterns get extremely out of control. I am up late one night, so the next night, I fall asleep really early, only to wake up in the middle of the night and can't fall back asleep. As you can imagine, laying in bed from 1:00am - 3:30am wishing I could sleep leaves me quite tired the next day. As a result, I fall asleep early again, and the cycle continues. That's how the last several days have been, but it's in the process of getting better. As soon as I can get back to a normal sleeping pattern, I will post all about our weekend trip to Thatcher/Safford to visit The Gila Valley Temple.

Meanwhile, let's take a vote. Which is funnier, the following conversation with Clara or the following picture of Clara?

{Background - we were on our way home from a birthday party and Clara had a balloon. It kept getting in my face, so I told her if she didn't hold it, I would whack it and I kept whacking it into the backseat.}
C: If you hit my balloon again, I am going to whack you in the face.
M: Clara, don't talk to Mom that way.
C: Please, I can whack you in the face?