An Important Work

After my little accident a few weeks ago, I felt so, so strongly that we are watched over and protected for a specific purpose here on earth. I just felt a little overwhelmed wondering how I'd be able to figure it out. The thought that I had a job to do, important enough to be kept here, would not leave my mind. I felt a little anxious thinking of having to figure out exactly what that might be. How would I know what it was? Instead of going into my client after the accident, I drove home to be with Jason, Clara and Hazel. The whole family went to Clara's last swimming lesson and then I holed myself up in my room to work remotely while Jason played mom. I got a lot done, but I also had a lot of welcome interruptions from my two little sweeties. Each interruption brought a simple message. They are precious. They need you. This is your job. This is important.

That night, as we got ready for bed, Hazel joined us for family prayer and scriptures. I'm trying to get her in on it more often so she can practice holding still and folding her arms (instead of putting her to bed before so we can do it in peace). Tonight, I was super glad she was there. Not because she started screaming during the prayer when I wouldn't let her down. But because during scriptures, she was so excited to sit on Clara's bed all by herself. The look of joy and satisfaction was priceless. And then she went around our family circle and pushed each of our noses, one by one, saying, "Beep!" with each push. She was "hitting" Clara's back and I told her to be soft so she started rubbing Clara's back and head. Then she touched Clara's eyes and said, "Ice!" and her hair and said, "Haairrrr" and grabbed her belly and said, "BELLY!!!" in a really gruff voice. 


In that moment, my feelings and thoughts from throughout the day were cemented into this: the important job I was preserved to do will most likely be nothing more than what I am already doing. I may never do anything beyond my role as a mother and I am okay with that because there is nothing more important than just that. If I have accomplished only one thing when my life is said and done and that one thing is being a good mother, my life will have been a success.

All Good Things...

My emotions ran high on Clara's last day of preschool (back in May). I spent the day being incredibly proud of Clara and how much she's learned, so so grateful I decided to put Clara in that school despite the cost, sad that it's over and a little anxious about Clara growing up and having to start Kindergarten next year. The final program was a recap of all the habitats they have gone through this year. They finished it off with the President's song, in which they sang every single president of the US. Some of my other favorite songs were them singing hello in 18 different languages (Clara was Russia: pree-vee-at) and they collectively sang all of the states of Africa. Because they sang from around the world, each child was dressed in authentic clothing from their country. Clara was a little Russian princess. Another thing that made this program special was Jason being there. Clara was so proud, we overheard her telling another kid all about him missing work so he could come to her program. (Good thing he did because if he hadn't, the girls wouldn't have seen him from Sunday until Friday. Wednesday morning was the only time he saw them all week. Lame.) Back to preschool... it was incredible. I just hope they are around in three years for Hazel. :)

Here's their class, all dressed to represent a certain country.

Clara and her friend Brighton, the little girl we carpooled with all year.

Clara and her teachers. They are just above and beyond. Incredible seems like an understatement and I don't think I could have been happier for the experience she had.

Family Traditions

Last year we had church at 8:30am. That meant I would have to wake up, get showered, nurse Hazel, make breakfast, feed myself, feed Clara, get Clara ready, get Hazel ready and get myself ready and out the door by about 8:20am. During one of these stressful mornings, Jason made the unfortunate mistake of complaining about the green smoothies I'd made for breakfast. I smiled and congratulated him on earning the new responsibility of making breakfast every Sunday morning. Jason took his new task in stride. He takes this responsibility seriously and actually makes breakfast. Not only do I love not having to worry about breakfast, but I really enjoy almost everything he prepares. It's a great tradition we started that I don't ever plan on letting come to an end.

{Mushroom, avocado & jack cheese omelet}

Life These Days

Yesterday Hazel ate a few big bites out of Jason's deodorant. She smelled so good. I can only imagine how awful it tasted.

Today Clara attempted going down the slide head first at my mom's pool. Somehow she twisted and almost flipped over the edge. Meanwhile, her face slide down the slide. It scared her so bad she cried. She doesn't cry easily. But she wanted to keep going down the slide.

We ate cookies for breakfast and made up for it by eating only raw fruits and vegetables for dinner. That's my definition of a balanced diet.

Tonight Hazel hit me. She hit me yesterday and had to sit in her crib for time out. After she did it again tonight, I told her we don't hit and asked her if she wanted to go to time out and she said yes. She then walked straight to the wall by the front door and sat down with her back against it and cried. Even funnier than her putting herself in time out was that she's only been there for time out once. And she's only been in her crib for time out twice.

Clara is really usually pretty nice. Every now and then she talks in a really mean, rude voice. She always tattles on herself, so I know about it even if I don't witness it. On the way home from my mom's, she said she talked mean to my mom. We always talk about it, but apparently that's not solving the problem, so I decided to give her vinegar when she does, in hopes that she'll think of the taste and it will remind her to be nice. Tonight, I gave her a drop of raw apple cider vinegar mixed with water to show her what it tasted like and she loved it. Major backfire, she thought it tasted like pickle juice and wanted more. Hazel liked it too. I did give her some straight regular apple cider vinegar and she didn't like that, so that's what I'll do.

No Plans

Our one (kind of) planned vacation for the summer (my family reunion) got cancelled (if kind-of plans can get cancelled). However, instead of being slow and boring, our summer seems busier than the school year ever was. Good busy, thank goodness, but busy nonetheless. It started with swimming lessons. I loooooved Clara's teacher. Clara had one rough day (the first time she had to swim across the deep end on day #2) and that's it. After only seven 30 minute lessons, she is swimming so much better. She can just swim around and not have to have someone to hang on in the pool every five seconds. 

Hazel and I just hung out. Hazel loved the swings, watching the pool and was surprised the day we saw the tortoise. I've never seen her so terrified as she was when the tortoise's claw touched her foot. Sheer terror erupted on her face and I laughed. How mean am I? 

We went to Dan and Karen's on Memorial Day and had pizza and watched Puss and Boots. My little Clara then turned into the girl cat for the rest of the week. She was so proud of the outfit she assembled. Her imagination has changed so much in the last year, but it's definitely a big part of her activities.

One morning I took a wheat wrap, spread some almond butter on it and dropped slices of banana on it before rolling it up. I didn't have time to eat, so I put mine in foil and ate on my way to work. If you want a quick, easy, healthy breakfast on the go, this is it. 

My mom was out of town for over a week so we had my dad and James over for dinner on Sunday. It was fun to use real plates, silverware, glass cups and cloth napkins. I was ready right on time, even the table was set. That's when I realized it's way easier to be on time when cooking for only 6. We even had sparkling cider and napkin rings. Good thing because James did not know what a napkin ring was until then. 

Hazel learned to put the sunglasses on herself. 

We had a water play date with the Picketts. 

Why is it so cute to see itty bitty hands pressing a giant cup into soft, chubby cheeks?  

Clara prays like this often. It makes me laugh.

I juiced a whole lotta limes and in so doing learned limes have way less juice than oranges, making it a bit discouraging.

Debbie watched Clara while I went to Ikea with Angela and then Hazel and I hung out at Debbie's for a bit. 

I had to make a trifle and two people I told that to didn't know what trifle is. Behold, the trifle.

I cleaned out my fridge and this spinach was on the ground. Hazel found it and started chomping away. 

I love preparing miniature portions of food on plates for Clara and Hazel's meals.  

Hazel tried to eat Clara's stamp. If only this wasn't 3 minutes before we were supposed to leave for church.

I found a website that you can put filters on your pictures that are similar to Instagram. I was so excited! Wait, am I the only one that doesn't have a SmartPhone and is excited about this?

Hazel does not like looking at the camera. But when it's just us, she'll look me in the eye, smiles away and interacts.

Temple visits make life better. 

One morning Clara came in my room like this and said, "Look Mom! It's like a heart with a smiley face in the middle." That girl. How could I not think I have the greatest life?

We put Hazel in Nursery one week when Jason and I had to teach and she was not cooperating in class. She didn't care that I left and didn't cry the whole time. I was hoping she'd stay that way when she's 18 months and old enough to go. But then last week I went in there with her for a few minutes and she got clobbered by another girl. She pulled her down to the ground by the neck of her dress multiple times, scratched her neck (multiple times) so bad it bled and smothered her. Now I'm a bit worried about letting her in there without me. I don't feel like it's a safe environment.

Clara came with me to get the oil changed on Jason's car. She loved watching them wash the cars, just like I used to when I was young.

I ate at Lo-Lo's Chicken and Waffles for the first time. It was good. I'd go back. But I maybe wouldn't eat cornbread, waffles, fries and chicken. It's a little heavy. ;)

Clara's artwork. This is spider girl. And a rainbow. And some other things I have forgotten.

While I was emptying the dishwasher, Hazel stacked all the clean cups from the drawer. Then she started stacking the bowls onto it. She reminds me more and more of Jason.

I've been feeling very unmotivated, lazy and tired for the last few months. This last week I decided to start waking up around 6pm to read, exercise and get ready before the kids woke up. I did it 4/5 mornings. I was up until 2:45am Tuesday night so I slept in on Wednesday. I still exercised later. It's definitely giving me more energy and motivation. Plus, I feel like I can get so much more done during the day. I'm still pretty tired, but I think my body just needs another week or two to adjust to my new schedule. This week brought two special visitors from Utah. Clara has been basking in an overdose of cousin time and we are all pretty tired.

FHE

It's Monday night and that's FHE (Family Home Evening) night in the Mormon world. Song, prayer, lesson, song, prayer. Except in our house, that doesn't happen very often. We go on walks, play games and get treats. We just hang out and feel the love. Tonight I decided if we do a lesson every other week, that should be good. Or at least in the summer. Last week, we did a lesson. So tonight, we went to DQ for treats. Then we sang a few songs at home while we ate our ice cream. That works, right?

I gave Hazel a lid full of ice cream in the car. She did really well with her spoon until we were in the garage. We sat talking too long and she dropped a golf ball size mound of ice cream on her clothes. Jason scooped it up with the spoon but Hazel kept licking her shirt where the ice cream had sat. I love it when my kids make me laugh and I love it when I stop being so uptight and am able to laugh at messes instead of stress about them.

I Don't Believe In Chance

I left for work a little after 7am today. After striking out 6 times in search of a babysitter, Jason offered to take the day off. It's been a while since I've been able to leave for work that early and I was pretty excited about it. Jason was planning several errands with the girls, including getting my oil changed, so I took his car. I was surprised at how busy the freeway was. Traffic was flowing nicely, but there were so many cars for that time of day. I also spent some time thinking about how it was weird being in a smaller car after driving my van. Being so close to the ground in his car makes me feel vulnerable. Especially on a busy freeway driving 70+MPH.

 

Shortly after these thoughts came and went, I was switching from the middle lane to the left lane when something went wrong. Everything happens so fast, yet I felt like it was slow motion. I remember starting to switch lanes. And I remember the split second I realized what was about to happen. That car was right in front of me. I was going to hit the car, I was going really fast and there were lots and lots of cars all around me. And then just like that, I was out of control. I can't even remember if hitting the other car or locking up my brakes happened first. I just knew at that point so many things could go wrong. I spun 90 degrees to the left, skidding sideways. Miraculously, I had the compusure to think clearly. I felt like everyone was watching me flying across the freeway and spinning right and left. But I knew if I panicked, I'd overcorrect and probably roll. I tried to straighten out and flipped 180 degrees to the right. Then I went to the left hoping to come out of it and quickly flipped 360 degrees to where I finally stopped. The guy stopped about 100 feet ahead. The other girl was facing oncoming traffic in the middle of the freeway when she finished her spins. We were all pretty stunned. I thanked Heavenly Father for safety. I prayed no one was hurt.

 

During it, I couldn't believe what was happening. After it, I couldn't believe what had happened. I didn't even know what had happened. Everything happened so fast. I had been convinced at any moment someone from oncoming traffic was going to slam into me or that I was going to roll. I kept thinking, I can't believe this is happening! I can't believe this is happening! That quickly switched to, I can't believe this just happened! I was amazed at how clear my thoughts were while it was happening. Time literally seemed to stand still as I considered all the awful things that could happen at that point and felt completely helpless. I prayed no one would hit me. I prayed I'd be okay. Based on the number of thoughts that went through my mind, you'd think I was spinning for several minutes. In reality, it was just a few short seconds. It's amazing how much shock a person can feel in just a few short seconds. I wondered if I caused it. I wondered if everyone else was okay. I wondered how bad my car was damaged. I worried about my insurance going up and having to buy a new car (it wouldn't take much damage to total Jason's car). I didn't want a traffic ticket. I didn't want all the consequences of being in a car accident. I tried to figure out what I had done wrong and put all the pieces together. 

 

Shaking, but still composed, I drove to the side of the freeway. Too afraid to look at the damage, I stayed in the car until DPS arrived. They talked to the other drivers then chuckled as they looked at my car while pointing at the front. I just knew they were gawking at the awful damage. I jokingly told them that wasn't nice and that they shouldn't laugh while pointing at someone's car. I asked him how bad the damage was. The officer said, "That's why we were laughing. There is virtually no damage to your car." I told him that was impossible based on what I'd just experienced and he said that's why they were so confused. They had us exit the freeway on the next exit so we could sort out what had happened. The other drivers weren't real clear on what had happened either. I finally got out of the car to check out the extent of the damage. Some scratches on the bumper, a missing piece of the bumper and one of the deer whistles was knocked off. The other cars didn't fair so well. One just had some damage along one side. The other was pretty banged up on his front and side.

 

I waited and waited while DPS tried to figure out what happened. They were convinced a fourth car was involved based on the guy's statement and wrote the police report as a hit-and-run. I don't think another car was involved and Jason agrees. The guy was minding his own business and I think was a lot more shocked then me so I don't think he realized the succession of events. I also think the girl wasn't telling the truth. After processing everything and observing the damage (the DPS officers didn't do much of an investigation and I'm pretty sure it's because no one was hurt), I feel pretty confident that I know what happened. Maybe I'll draw you a picture someday.

 

What a wild experience. I spent much of the day shocked and overwhelmed with gratitude. I am so grateful I was in Jason's car (mine probably would have rolled and it definitely would have caused more damage to the other cars and maybe their drivers). I am so grateful my car didn't roll. I am so grateful there were no injuries. I am so grateful I didn't get a ticket. I am so grateful it wasn't my fault. I am so grateful for the calm and insight I had in those split seconds that my car was out of control. I keep replaying it in my head, over and over, and each time, I can't believe I bumped my knee and that's it. I can't believe no other cars were involved. All three of us did at least one 360 down the freeway going 70MPH in heavy traffic. I can't believe you can't really tell my car was in an accident, not to mention a high-speed 3 vehicle accident. Never before have I had an experience that was such a tangible reminder that I have a purpose on earth and I will be watched over and protected until my work is done.

Mild Excitement

June has started off exciting.

My Bosch fell off the counter while I was kneading pizza dough. I left it for a few seconds and heard a measuring cup fall to the floor as I was walking back toward the kitchen. The second I heard that, I knew what was happening. I ran into the kitchen just in time to see my Bosch hit the ground and the plug rip from the wall. Lucky for me, there wasn't the slightest bit of damage. Nor did my dough touch the floor. Score and score.

I experienced my first chocolate dipped ice cream bar with almonds from Costco. As if I didn't have enough reasons to love Costco, I now have another. $1.50 of pure goodness, and it was enough for Clara, Hazel and me.

Our A/C unit in our rental house needed a new fan motor. At least it wasn't the compressor, right? And we have a great renter. This experience made me realize she's really flexible and understanding.

We pretended to have 3 children when we got to babysit Margo last Friday. We took her to dinner where she was mistaken as our third daughter. 3 kids is easy peasy. (For a few hours, anyway!). However, I'll pass on having kids 15 months apart. I can't imagine. Lest Angela has told you she's fussy, I have proof on the contrary.

I never really liked chest hair. The thought of marrying someone with lots of chest hair was something I tried to avoid. Then Rachel told me she likes that Don's keeps her warm. (HA!) So I decided to embrace Jason's. Sometimes, he shaves shapes in it for me. Most recently, he did a heart. See how much fun chest hair is? Well, you can't see. He refused to let me take a picture. He said people can come see it at our house for a nominal fee. I told him that was creepy. He told me he wants a new computer.

I got a cold sore that started in one nostril and grew across my nose into the other nostril. Then it started growing up inside one nostril where I couldn't put medicine on it. It hurt. And left me wondering what would happen if it kept growing and I got a cold sore on my brain. Ouch.

The Merry Month of May

In case you weren't aware, the month of May is now gone. Lucky for you, I have all sorts of pictures and stories to take you back in time.

100 degrees doesn't keep us from our evening walks

Look! I can write the alphabet all by myself! And I did it in color!

We finally got a little more caught up on our immunizations. It's been a year. Clara was super brave like last time and didn't cry. Hazel cried for no more than 4 seconds. At that point, I reminded her of her pending sucker reward and she stopped crying immediately.

They both enjoyed their suckers. Someone enjoyed half of the stick along with the sucker. (HA!)

Hazel loves playdo

Some for the baby, some for Hazel

Jason's fury friend has been hanging out on the porch again.

Karen and Dan had an open house. More food, more fun

Saw the solar eclipse. We did this in elementary school and apparently I never saw the moon shapes because I thought it was so lame. But ahoy! I saw it this time. It was neat.

Jousting gear never gets old

 Wagon walks in the backyard 

For some reason, reading to Clara got so much harder after Hazel was born. A few months ago I decided Clara can stay up a little later after Hazel goes to bed if it means I get to read to her. That's really, really important to me and I hate that I've been slacking. We are currently reading James and the Giant Peach. One night, we even got ice cream while we read. Those simple, quiet, one-on-one moments are some of my favorites.

Clara finished preschool (more on that later). My friend Camille gave me this idea of taking a picture of her on the last day of school holding a picture of the first day of school. Mine didn't quite turn out like her's, but you get the idea.

That same day I talked Jason into going to work late so he could go to Clara's final program. He did and afterwards, my mom watched the girls while we went to lunch. We were going to take Clara out, but she got invited to a birthday party with specific instructions to come hungry, so she refused to eat. Although it epitomized speed dating (I think we were gone less than 45 minutes, including drive time), it was fun to have a fun little mini-date midday.

 Look what healthy food my mom feeds me!

Sonic picnics in the front yard make me want to use my hands to form a heart!

We've been hearing cats in our yard for months. We thought they were fighting. One morning Jason came to me and said, "You know how we heard those cats? They weren't fighting. And we might have kittens soon." Turns out, he was right on. We had 3 cute kittens in our backyard. They lived back there for a few weeks and now the entire family is gone. Here's the dad cat, the mom cat, two kittens (one is gray and one is black and white like the mom) and our trashy backyard.

That trashy backyard finally drove me crazy enough to get a roll away from the city. Dan kindly came over one Saturday and helped Jason all day long. They cut trees and cleared so much of the trash in our backyard. Dan says: I'm so glad we're friends, otherwise I'd never get any exercise. Jason says: I'm so glad we're friends, otherwise our backyard would look worse than it does. I say: We totally got the better end of the deal on that one!

Empty and partially full. It's even more full now. There is so much junk in there. I can't imagine how many loads it would have taken to get this to the dump ourselves. I am anxious to see how much the thing weighs.

I think I am going to buy Jason a cowboy hat just so I can take pictures of Clara and Hazel in it. Aren't these adorable?

Hazel decided she had an infatuation with water that day. She sat on the floor and squeezed half a water bottle out (it had a sport top, so it's not like it spilled) and then she had a hay day splashing in the water she dumped on her tray.

Dan and Karen stayed for dinner and then we made homemade ice cream. Mmmm. Hazel LOVES Dan. This was the day she learned to say Dan ("Nan") and followed Dan around saying, "Nan! Nan!" When Karen started reading a book to Clara, Hazel went and brought a book to Dan and said, "Book! Nan!"

My schedule for the last few months has made it difficult to clean. If I'm home and my kids are asleep and I'm not working, it's rare. When it does happen, the last thing I want to do is clean. So I don't. However, a few weeks ago, I decided to schedule time to clean just like I do work. Clara was at a birthday party and Hazel was asleep so I got my kitchen cleaned and my laundry room. I love before and after cleaning pictures. I feel like they validate my efforts. :)

Hazel learned how to open doors. Now I'm actually going to have to watch her. :) Before I could just shut all the doors and know that she was safe.

I love fall/winter. However, there are plenty of things I love about the summer too, such as, the food. I love salads and they are perfect in the summer. Light, easy to prepare and it doesn't heat up my house. Plus, there are so many possibilities.

I also did shish kabobs the other day. Onion, bell pepper, chicken, mushrooms and pineapple. Mmmm.

I paired it with fresh steamed green beans. Again, light, fairly easy to prepare and it doesn't heat up my house.

And this food story has nothing to do with summer, but since we're on the topic of food... I made blueberry pancakes, but did it a little different. I used pureed blueberries instead of whole and they were delicious. I love blueberries but do not like big, plump, hot juicy berries in my pancakes. As an added bonus, it turns the pancakes a beautiful blue.