Clara Jane

This girl.

So helpful, so devious, so sweet and so darling.

She says things that almost make her sound 10 years older: "A spectiful tree head" (I can only imagine spectiful is a combination of spectacular and beautiful) or "Can't you get the hang of it?" Instead, they make her sound like a little girl, trying her hardest to use mature words and phrases.

She makes me smile and quite often, I just look at her beautiful face and wonder what I did to have the blessing of being her mother. She really is incredible and I really struggle to keep up with her.

Her Christmas wish list went from one extreme to the next: "a real horse, a box of crayons, a makeup set, a chocolate orange, a hot chocolate maker, new pants, a new shirt, her own garden and at last, a tree house. Oh, and a big blueberry bush. Do you think Santa can make that? With his elf's magic?"

Recently we had a date night, just her and me. We got hot chocolate and sat on the driveway looked at stars while we talked. Clara wanted to go to the park, but I told her only creeps hang out at parks late at night. We laughed and joked and had real conversations and I was reminded how important one-on-one time is. It opens up lines of communication that are all too easily restricted by the busyness of every day life.

On the road to 40

Last week, on the 12th, I turned 31. Last year was a really great year and I'm sure it set the stage for the next 10 years. Last year I felt a little sorry for myself on my birthday. This year, now that I'm a big girl, I decided to make sure I enjoyed my day rather than waiting around for other people to make it happy for me. My wish for the day? Eat out every meal. Mission accomplished. I went to breakfast at Joe's Farmgrill with my girls, lunch at Pita Jungle with Angela and Margo and dinner at Joe's BBQ with Jason. I love their baked potatoes. Thanks to everyone that made my birthday extra special. Especially Jason. He left 31 reasons he loves me in our bathroom and brought flowers home at lunch.

Clara gave me a handmade gift a week early. She colored a monster face on the bottom of a box (notice the "hab bthaday in the upper left corner).

Inside she had all sorts of work papers she created. Just for me. I want to clone her.

Jason took this picture of me and I'm still fascinated with my sunken in eyes. I'll blame it on the flash. But seriously, it's obvious I need some sleep!

It was a really good day to the start of another busy week. I worked a lot, Jason worked a lot (as in we didn't see him much) and I hosted Bunco. I can work and I can run the house without Jason, but when they both happen simultaneously, things get a little crazy. But then Saturday came and it was the first time in a really, really long time that we didn't have a jam-packed schedule. In fact, I didn't have a single place to go. I got so much done (nearly every single thing on my To Do list!) and still had lots of time to socialize, shop, hang out with my girls and crash Jason's man date by inviting the girls and myself to join him and Trent at dinner. I think the worst part of my week was realizing I didn't have a rolling pin, in the middle of cooking dinner, again, and having to use a can.

The week of November 5th

I started a new client. Jason went to Target with me for the first time in I-can't-remember-when so the girls got to ride in one of those big, obnoxious carts that I refuse to push. 

 I paid someone to do my laundry.

 James took our family picture for a school project.

Clara decorated an awesome turkey with ball glitter, pipe cleaners, beans and a few leaves. Oh yes, and diamonds for the eye.

Went on a few walks, enjoying our beautiful weather.

Hazel entered the dressing up/stripping phase. She's especially into Clara's boots.

Hazel destroyed the house, multiple times over, while I worked (pros and cons to working from home... pros and cons).

We went to the park.

Had our last softball game of the regular season (and 20-run ruled the team we played after winning only one other game the entire season - what?). Went to a friend's house with Karen to celebrate her new baby and wedding anniversary. Afterwards, Karen patiently let Clara do her hair. At some point, Clara leaned in and whispered to Karen, "Sometimes when people come to my beauty hotel, they pay me real money. Like sometimes a dollar. But you don't have to if you don't want to." 

Watched and loved regional stake conference. We ate lunch at Dan and Karen's that Sunday and as you can see, Clara and Hazel each found a playmate.

Quick! Blog about Halloween before Thanksgiving!

I have a folder on my computer named "To Blog". When I go through pictures, I copy the ones I want to blog into that folder. Apparently I haven't checked it in a while because I totally forgot about Halloween. Since Thanksgiving is just around the corner, I figured I better document Halloween.

I decided to take the girls to Vertuccio Farms the Monday before Halloween. Jason was stuck at work so I almost didn't go, but knowing it was pretty much our last chance, we went. It was fun and I wish we would have had more time to enjoy it. 

Clara loves animals. She loved this pig and was so patient and gentle. She waited for it to come see her, let it sniff her out and then she started scratching/rubbing it's head. Apparently the pig loved it because it eventually laid down and looked so relaxed. Then Clara said, "Come on Hazel, I got the pig calmed down so it won't bite you." It was pretty awesome.

On our way out, we stopped to take some pictures in the pumpkin patch and purchase a pumpkin (that never got carved...). I said, "Smile if you want a pumpkin!" and Clara said to Hazel, "Your head is like a pumpkin!" and Hazel shoved Clara's face away, which I captured in a blurry, but funny, picture. It was kind of hilarious. 

At some point during the week of Halloween, I walked around the corner to see this little witch perched on the wall.

Halloween was a crazy day. Clara had music until 5:20pm and we rushed from there to our neighborhood party. I didn't have much light or time to take pictures, but I got over it and decided it wasn't worth it to dress them back up again.

They had music playing at the party and Clara, Hazel and several other kids danced their little hearts out.

The party doesn't do a trunk-or-treat, rather a "circle of candy". It's kind of silly, but really efficient, so I like it. Hazel was funny to watch. She didn't really care who was in her way, she'd just charge on from person to person and hold up her bag waiting for her treat.

After that, Jason went back to work and we went to my mom's. Three little black cats. It's too bad you can't see their tails, because they are all the same, thanks to Kathryn making Clara's.

Lilly took the older girls trick-or-treating while we hung out at my mom's. 

It was a fun day. Every year I feel like it takes an eternity for Halloween to arrive, but once it does, it's a downhill sprint to the end of the year.

Everything's Gonna Be Okay

This past weekend was such a great ending to a rather chaotic week. Each weekend I plan to get so much done, hoping to not only catch up, but also get ahead. But then the weekend comes and I get about 10% of my planned To Do's accomplished. So at the beginning of the next week, when I hope to be ahead, I'm only further behind. I'm pretty sure things aren't going to slow down until the end of the year, so I decided to just hold on tight and enjoy it.

Saturday night we had the adult session of stake conference. I loved it and was thinking the whole time, "The Lord is aware of our fears and our desires. He's in control. Everything's gonna be okay." I felt like the messages were so inspired for not even just this time, but specifically this week. The first two talks were almost identical and neither woman had any idea what the other had decided to talk on. They were about how we can strengthen the family. Nothing is new, family prayer, family scripture study, family home evening, spending quality time with our families, etc., it was just an answer to my prayers and a reminder that that's how we deal with the world and society as they continue to attack the family. We can keep our families strong. Jeff Flake also was asked to talk a bit about the future of our country and I loved what he said. My favorite part was this (probably not word for word, but pretty close): The longer I’m in Washington, the more I see the wisdom of the founding fathers... The constitution was inspired and I'm confident it is strong enough to withstand the foibles of men and I’m confident that God will let everything come to pass that is meant to come to pass. The Lord is in charge and His will will be done.

On Sunday, we had a regional Stake Conference that was broadcast from Salt Lake to the 95 stakes in Arizona. I had many of the same impressions during that meeting as I had the night before, including, "The Lord is aware of our fears and our desires. He's in control. Everything's gonna be okay." There were more talks on families and strengthening families. That's what it's all about folks, the family. The crowning moment was President Henry B. Eyring's talk. I love that man! He talked about how every day we make a choice to be optimistic or pessimistic in the last days. He went on to say we need to be wise optimists and that by doing so, we can replace anxiety with joy. I wish I could get this talk in print. It was really fantastic.

We went with Dan and Karen to the meeting and after that, Jason was able to ordain Dan an Elder in the Melchizedek Priesthood. Afterwards, we shared our testimonies. I was emotional for so many reasons. I love seeing Jason worthily use his priesthood authority. I was overjoyed to hear Dan's testimony and think of his journey. I think sometimes it's easier for people that aren't happy, don't have many standards and have a rough life to see the blessings of the restored gospel. I think it's harder to tell a happy, good person that the gospel can bless their life. Why would they need it if they are already happy and living a good life? Dan is an example of that and today was a reminder that the gospel brings additional blessings to even happy, good people. It only adds to the joys in life.

Dear Dan, Sorry I put the picture of you with your eyes closed, but I loved Hazel's smile in this picture. 

Dear Everyone Else, Did you know Hazel has a major crush on Dan? It's pretty hilarious.

Political Vomit

Last night I spent too much time analyzing my sadness: I am sad for Mitt Romney. All that time and money! It makes me sad to see good money wasted, but even more sad to see America waste the opportunity to have someone like Romney lead our great Nation. It would have been amazing. I have never felt so sad at the end of an election as I do tonight and I know exactly why. Our Country is on a slippery slope and I wish our President's vision for the Country was in line with the values that this Country was founded on. Instead, the next four years will bring bigger government, more restrictions and I'm guessing a more depressed economy. We will have to fight for our rights like we never have before. Romney has American values and would have helped make sure our Country remains the greatest nation. Obama, on the other hand, is totally un-American. I don't care where he was born. He's un-American by the things he does. He's attacked and continues to attack what makes our Country great. His vision is so far removed from what makes America America. His policies make me sick to my stomach and never before have I felt like so much is at stake. I have nothing against people that welcome and enjoy socialistic and communistic ideologies, but America is not the place for them. If that's what you enjoy, go enjoy them elsewhere. I am sad for our Country. I am sad for all the many people who worked so hard and gave so much to make this Country what it has been, what it could be and what it should be: the land of the free and the home of the brave. I am sad for people that gave their lives so we could enjoy a country unlike none other because if they saw where our country is headed, they might feel like their ultimate sacrifice was in vain.

Today I have spent too much time analyzing this question: what in the world is going on? I feel like the things that matter most are under attack. Our freedoms, the sanctity of marriage, our safety and the sacredness of life. I am bothered that I feel like our Country is in the midst of a transformation that has taken us and will continue to take us in a direction different than what God and the founders of our Country envisioned. But what is more upsetting is that so many people don't seem to realize it. Or maybe they just don't care? Maybe they do take our freedoms for granted and assume that a President wouldn't take them away. I don't think that I am in the minority with my thoughts and feelings, but how did the majority of Americans think it was a good idea to re-elect Obama? How on earth did less Republicans vote for Romney than they did McCain (no offense to McCain, but let's be honest, he wasn't the greatest Republican candidate)? I really do not understand.

As upsetting as it is, peace has come through prayer and my anxiety has been tamed through scripture study. I still have my family, the Gospel and my testimony. God is still God and He will still continue to bless those that are righteous. We can choose to be happy. We can choose to have courage, faith and strength and continue to influence our children and those around us for the better. We can stand up for what we know and believe in and encourage others to do it as well. And the silver lining in it all? I'm pretty sure Jesus is coming soon.

Oh, and also, it's a great day to take your dog for a walk.

Monday Morning

I almost always good clean my kitchen on Monday morning, which typically means taking out the mountain of recycle that we've collected for several days. Hazel loves to help and hates to come back inside, but I make her so I can get stuff done. Monday is one of the few days I have motivation (thank goodness for Sunday!). As my perfect priority list continues to evolve, this morning I decided that Hazel playing outside was at the top of the list. So after she ate 3.8 hearty pumpkin/applesauce/oat pancakes and slurped up the water she dumped onto her tray (slurp, slurp, slurp),

we took out the recycle and then didn't go back inside for a while. She explored and I sat. It made for a great morning for both of us (even though I never did quite finish my kitchen) and it also gave me time to realize a few things.

1. I love my backyard more and more as time goes on.

2. I love that instagram inspires me to look for beauty in the ordinary.

3. I love being outside, especially while my kids run around and play in practically perfect weather.

4. Something about nature, freedom and precious spirits all in one moment makes me feel super happy.

October 2012: Remember when...

... Clara at bell peppers like apples?

... we went to the temple for FHE and Clara told me she wanted to walk around the reflection pond alone so she could feel the Spirit?

... our kids wanted to touch the Christus and I imagined how incredible it will be to see Christ again?

... it dropped below 70* and Clara started wearing knee-high socks which made her uniform extra darling?

... my client moved to a "real" office building instead of a converted medical space?

... some of Jason's brothers came over for dinner and these girls thought holding each other was the greatest thing ever?

... we went to lunch for Amy's birthday and laughed and laughed and ate and ate and I wished for more girl's nights?

... the highs dropped into the 90's and I decided it was acceptable to make soup 3 times a week for dinner?

... Hazel was saying "eyeball! eyeball! eyeball!" and I looked out the window to see this?

... I taught a Sunbeam class of 11 kids (2 were missing this day)? I had to ask a mom to help every week...

... we drug our folding table onto the front porch and ate dinner because the weather here is amazing?

... I couldn't stop taking pictures of the sunset?

... Lilly turned 14 and we celebrated at Joe's Farm Grill?

 ... I thought I was so clever for dressing Hazel up as a witch and Clara up as the witch's cat?

... I tamed the accountant in me and turned Clara's face into a cat's face with some face paint?

... I didn't have a babysitter and worked from home, which meant sitting on the floor against my open front door with my computer while Hazel played outside?

... I gave Hazel peanut butter for breakfast and she smeared it all over everything?

... we paid $30 to go to Clara's Fall Festival just so she could win a fish? Remember the smile on her face when she won?

... the next day Clara went to go check on her fish and couldn't see it? She first thought Jason had done something with it and then I found it laying lifeless underneath a bag sitting inches from it's bowl. Remember our first real pet lived less than 24 hours?

... Hazel silently tore my pick apart while I stood just a few feet away getting ready for church?

... I put a pig tail in Hazel's hair for the first time? She pulled it out in about 5 seconds.

... Hazel had a crush on Dan?

... Clara ate an entire raw potato and shared it with Hazel?

... Clara's hair got super long and I trimmed it and felt like I'd cut half her hair off?

... I was exhausted and resting on the chair and Hazel said, "Mommy, sleeping, tired, night-night"

... I left work really early to be able to go to dance with Clara on "parent observance day" and I was so grateful I was there?