The {Witch} Doctor Is In

For Christmas I received some DoTerra essential oils. I used them sparingly until I went to a class on essential oils earlier this month. I have been using them regularly since. I even ordered some of the most darling little glass bottles which allow me to share my favorite oils with others. I gave them to my mom and mother-in-law for Mother's Day and to Clara's preschool teachers (Rachel is full of good ideas).

I did feel a little crazy as I sat and poured and labeled all the bottles. My kitchen table looked like some type of lab. Jason is pretty skeptical. Clara is a believer. Every time her head hurts, she has a sore or has a bump on her skin, she asks, "Do you have an oil for that?" Ha ha. (For the record, the answer is, "Why yes, yes I do").

Jason can roll his eyes all he wants but I believe in the benefits of essential oils. I always resort to natural resources first. I believe this earth was created to produce things that can help us with our health, naturally. I don't believe they are meant to replace modern medicine. I see them kind of like I do eating healthy. When you eat healthy, you feel better and are less likely to get sick. Quality of life increases. Will it prevent you from ever getting sick? Probably not. Is it a cure for cancer? Probably not. However, I believe it decreases chances of getting sick, decreases chances of disease and it makes you feel better at the same time, so why not? Better to do it naturally than with chemicals.

17 Months Later

Hazel was full of personality today which I thought was ironic since it also marks 17 months since she was born. It's like this whole time her true personality has been laying low and today it all came out. It just keeps getting better and better.

I think she's going through a growth spurt. She doesn't seem to be sick, yet she slept 13 hours last night and still took a 3+ hour nap. Plus, she's eating tons of food. She will dance/walk in circles and make herself dizzy. Sometimes she falls, sometimes she doesn't. She loves books and will say book or read and bring me a book to read to her.

Dan was over all day helping in the yard and Hazel learned his name. She now says, "nan!" and begs for him to hold her and "read" her books. She also started saying broccoli and it's the cutest little thing. (Actually, I can't decide if she's the cutest little thing or rather the things she does are the cutest little things. We sure feel blessed and happy.)

Hazel is so very happy. She throws little tantrums here and there, but she is mostly mellow and happy. I've actually even been able to brush her teeth lately without her screaming the entire time. She has lots of smiles. One of my favorites is when it looks like she is smiling as big as physically possible. It's like she is so excited/elated/happy she can hardly control herself. Another is her small smile, no teeth showing. She just looks at me and smiles and a peaceful, calm, reassuring feeling surrounds me. She reminds me more and more of Jason, especially with that smile. I guess one calm person in my life isn't enough to keep my crazy self in check.

Months ago, Hazel started saying yes (well, she'd nod her head dramatically with big eyes and say "yeah") when she wanted to say yes and grunt if the answer was no. Recently she has started saying "no" (with a very accentuated, round "ohhhh") to everything. If I say, "Say yes if you want ..." she'll say yes, and she actually says "yes" with the s now. Tonight we laughed at her and now she thinks it's funny to say no. She'll say "noh" and look at us and wait and laugh her awesome fake laugh.

I've been doing an experiment with her. (Poor little lab rat.) She scratched her nose and I read that Frankincense helps prevent scarring. She has a little scar on her cheek from scratching there. It's faint and I'm sure it will fade as she grows, so I'm not worried about it, but if I can prevent it, why not? Anyway, so 3 times a day, I put a little dab of Frankincense on Hazel's nose and she laughs. She thinks it's hilarious.

She's taken a shower with me twice this week. She gets a little cold, but when I hold her up to the warm water, it paralyzes her. She just relaxes with her head on my shoulder, the water hitting her back, not moving a muscle.  I set her out with a towel around her while I dry off. Today she walked away from the towel and peed on the floor. I told her to tell me next time she needs to go potty and we can go on the toilet. It's pretty cute when she says potty. It'd be cuter if she actually said it to go on the toilet.

She says "ews" for shoes. I'm not sure if it's because she can't say shoes or if it's because I say eww all the time when I have her shoes because they stink so, so bad. She loves shoes, by the way. I am trying to organize all the clothes in storage and in doing so, I got out a bag of shoes that she'll be wearing soon. She has tried all of them on and loves bringing me a shoe, climbing in my lap and saying please, in hopes that I'll put the shoe on.

We have an eency weency spider book with little plastic spiders. She pokes them and says, "eww". She can now open doors with a handle (as opposed to a knob). There goes my child proofing. Usually I'd just keep all the doors shut. She blinks and it always makes me laugh. She giggles a lot, especially when I pretend to eat her neck and/or or belly button. I love her cheeks the most. I can't kiss or squeeze them quite enough.

She loves to explore and is very busy. Today she was really quite just for a second (she was on the other side of the island, so I was in the kitchen with her, just couldn't see her) and I turned to see her sitting in a puddle of water she'd dumbed out from a big water bottle. Recently she also got into my 5 gallon bucket of oats and sprinkled them all over the pantry. She loves to get things out of my bathroom drawers and cupboards too. A few days ago I was scrubbing the shower with a toothbrush and she got one of Clara's toothbrushes and came to help.

One day last week my mom had an appointment that ran late. I needed to go to work and after dropping Clara off at school, went to my mom's to wait for her to finish. I got to sit and play with Hazel and enjoy some rare one on one time with her. She usually naps when Clara is at school, so it's not often that it's just her and me. We played with play do, read books, explored in the front and she swung on the swing by herself for the first time (well, as far as I know...).

My Motherhood

I am constantly comparing the kind of mother I want to be with reality to see how big the gap is and to figure out how to narrow the gap. In the end, what matters most to me is that I am happy with the mom I am. I decided a while ago that I would be the best I could be and try to mother with no regrets. I don't want to look back and wish I played more with my kids or said yes more often or did spontaneous things more frequently. I want to watch my kids play and soak up their every move and take pictures so I never forget their precious phases of life. I really started focusing on these things a few years ago and it has really transformed my mothering. It has definitely brought me closer to that mom that I want to be. My heart is full and happy and every single night when I thank Heavenly Father for my girls, my heart feels capable of bursting.

It has taken me a while to figure out how I really feel about working. I kept telling myself I wasn't a good mom because I worked. After thinking and pondering, I came to a simple realization: working doesn't have to define my ability to mother. Working doesn't mean you're a bad mom just the same as being a stay-at-home mom doesn't mean you're a good mom. I decided to stop letting the fact that I work dictate what kind of mom I am. I decided to find out how to be a good mom even if I work a few days. I decided to find my balance with work and motherhood, my balance which isn't the same as your balance. My balance isn't a balance for everyone. We are all different, our family circumstances are different and our ideals are different. Plus, there are so many factors beyond working and mothering, including church, service, socializing, hobbies, etc. I have learned I need to find my balance amongst all of those things, not just working and mothering, and when I live that balance that works for me, I am the happiest and feel the best about who I am as a mother. I am fulfilled, my children are happy and I mother with no regrets.

We traveled home from California this year on Mother's Day. I decided I don't want to travel ever again on Mother's Day. I didn't get to be as lazy as I would have liked and being in the car with two tired children for 6 hours really maxed out my patience. I don't like it when my patience is maxed out, especially with my kids. Having the littlest dear say some form of mom/mommy/momma about 10,000 times during the 6 hours didn't help either. But all of that aside, I couldn't be more grateful for the opportunity to be a mom to Clara and Hazel.  They have permanently changed my heart and my soul and I've found nothing to be more fulfilling in life than being a mother.

Goodbye, Vacation

Friday night was definitely the low point of the trip. :) Hazel kept waking up and ended up in our bed from about 2:00am on. At least she slept until 7:45, which was a big improvement from her wake up time that morning of 6:15. I don't know how people can sleep with their kids in bed with them on a regular basis. One night of it wore me out. Even still, I couldn't help but enjoy seeing cute chubby cheeks, puffy sleepy eyes and crazy bed head from the glow of my computer screen.

Saturday morning we opened up the doors and enjoyed our walk out patio. I could have sat there all morning.

 

Then we went and enjoyed the pool area (which had a splash pad, two big water slides, a smaller slide, a kiddie pool complete with a sandy beach area in addition to the regular pools and spa).

We got smart (without our smart phone) and looked up a Jack-in-the-Box before leaving. Jason finally got his JITB fill for the week. Wewsh.

Next up was the beach. We went by the Carlsbad Pier and had lots of fun. It's been so long since I've been to actually play at the beach and so long since the weather has been so beautiful on the beach. It was sunny, warm and the water was cold, but not too frigid. I attempted to build a sand castle with Clara, I walked in the water with Hazel and I taught Clara how to catch sand crabs. Clara put her sand crabs in our sand castle. She held one of them up to her face talking to it. Later she told me it did something she didn't like so it was in trouble. I had to think twice before I sat down in the sand to play. I'm not gonna lie, I didn't really want to get all sandy. But I had already decided I'd get down in the sand and play with Clara, so that's just what I did. Few things make me feel as young as playing in the sand on the beach. Hazel and Clara loved it and I'm happy to report I don't believe Hazel ate one grain of sand the entire time.

Before leaving, we walked to the end of the pier and I tortured Jason with pictures. Apparently Hazel was feeling rather tortured too. And my neck was feeling like it needed to flaunt all my extra neck skin.

There were some lifeguards training and they had to jump off the pier. It was pretty crazy, but fun to watch.

I loved the wooden railing against the aqua ocean with the structures on the coast in the background was lovely. Very picturesque.

From the beach, we headed to Emily's. We got cleaned up and went to dinner at a fun BBQ place in Fallbrook with Emily and her kids. I got ribs and they were really, really good. Clara and Hazel inhaled their steamed broccoli, I'm sure because they had about 300 too many fries up until that point. We also tried fried avocado. Not bad, but I prefer it fresh.

That night we stayed up late talking. Sunday was Mother's Day. I woke up bright and early to these little beauties. Of course I would have liked to sleep in, but what's the fun in that? Besides, they are the reason I'm a mother.

I teased Jason that the reason he wanted to stay until Sunday was so he didn't have to do anything for me for Mother's Day. But what that really meant was that he got to make breakfast for us and Emily's family. Justin and Alexis helped him make waffles with strawberries and whipped cream and sausage. Mmmm.

On Saturday, Clara prepared for my surprise. She put on a dog show for me for Mother's Day Sunday morning. She did tricks with Sydney.

Then she told a story using pictures she'd drawn the night before. She even had flowers for me that she picked the day before. I got her story on video. Man, I love that girl.

We went to sacrament meeting and Hazel made it about half way. Then her and Jason napped together on the couch. We went back to Emily's, packed up our stuff and headed home.

Our trip home seemed really long. There was lots of traffic, an unexpected and long detour in Palm Springs (we now know how NOT to drive to Palm Springs) and another stop for gas. Plus, my little dear Hazel didn't cry but was sure to fill at least half of her time awake with "mom" "momma" "maaaaaaa-maaaaaa", etc. It was so nice to come home. Usually after a vacation, I appreciate my bed and bathroom more than anything else. This time, it was Hazel's crib that earned all of my appreciation, hands down.

"Mom, take a picture of my x's." Hazel: SOOOO frustrated when she couldn't quite reach the balloon.

Some final thoughts on our trip... Forgetting the pack-n-play was a joke. I doubt that'll ever happen again. We had a really good time, but it wasn't long enough and both Jason and I were ready for another vacation by Wednesday of the following week. I think this is the first vacation that I haven't tried to pack food and be super frugal when it came to meals. We did buy apples, bananas and granola bars for breakfast, but that was it. It's funny how when I mentally prepare myself for spending money, I'm okay with it. I felt a lot less stressed not trying to stick to a meal budget the entire time. I know you're supposed to budget, but I decided I'm not going to budget for food when we go on vacation unless we are attempting to be frugal. It's just an extra headache in my opinion. Plus, I am that much closer to getting a smart phone. On this trip, it would have saved us lots of gas and time, 7 pieces of paper and our marriage (just kidding, but we did joke that a smart phone would save our marriage because we wouldn't be stressed trying to find certain things when we are all tired and cranky). 

Hello, Vacation

We've been talking about going on vacation for the longest time and just never scheduled time off work. We finally took time off and planned a quick trip on May 10th. I was wishy washy on where to stay, what to do, when to come home, etc. In the end, we booked a resort two days before we left, decided to stay Saturday night a day before we left (nothing like asking Emily if we can invade with only 72 hours notice) and bought tickets for Sea World in the resort room the night we arrived. So yes, the planning was not great. But that didn't keep us from having a good time. Forgetting the pack-n-play did, however, us from getting a good night's rest. The best part about the trip was that we didn't tell Clara. I picked her up from school and told her we had a surprise for her. She was hoping for a toy. I think the whole time she was a bit dumbfounded and kind of confused. She couldn't figure out if I was being serious when I told her we were going to Sea World and the beach and to see Aunt Emily when we got in the car after eating lunch. She figured it out eventually.

We got to Carlsbad later than planned, stopped and got dinner and food for breakfast and then drove to our resort, where we ate Panda Express for dinner on the floor in all our classiness.

Fortunately the resort itself more than made up for our lack of classiness. It was definitely a step (or ten?) up from our "normal" life and we enjoyed it. Jason's friend got us a good rate on our room, otherwise, we would not have been there. It was still more than I would usually pay, but very much worth it.The first night sans pack-n-play wasn't too bad. Clara slept peacefully in her very own big, comfy bed.

Hazel slept mostly peacefully on the floor. It was the one time in my life I wished my kids didn't fall asleep on their own because laying on the floor next to her for 30 minutes while waiting for Hazel to fall asleep was not my favorite part of the trip.

We made it through the night, although waking up at 6:30am on vacation almost doesn't qualify as "through the night" in my opinion.

Friday morning Jason went to check out the jobsite Emily is the project accountant for. It just so happened to be about 5 miles away and she figured he'd enjoy it. While he was out, I walked around with the girls and just enjoyed pretending like staying at high-end resorts is part of my normal life. If only. The grounds of the resort were simply beautiful. I loved it. Being somewhere like that is my kind of relaxing vacation.

If (hopefully when) we get to go back and stay at the La Costa, I am going to make time to enjoy these swings. They just have them randomly placed all around for anyone to sit in and enjoy. Meanwhile, I think I need one on my back porch.

We squeezed a quick nap in before Jason got back. When he did, we left for Sea World.

Once again, we found ourselves searching for a place to eat. You'd think it wouldn't be that hard. It was. We ended up eating at Sea World, which is what I had hoped to avoid. It was not great and was expensive and you know that annoys me. I got over it and we had a really great time at Sea World. Clara's favorite part was the shows. My favorite part was that I kept Hazel from getting burned and Jason's favorite part was being with family. Towards the end of the day, Clara and I went on Journey to Atlantis, the "big" ride there. It's been a while since I've been on a roller coaster like that and it kind of scared me. It kind of scared Clara too, but we had fun. The initial drop killed my stomach - it was almost more thrill than I could handle. I wanted to buy our picture so bad! I wish I wasn't so cheap, but out of principle I couldn't handle paying $15 for a 6x8. I just wish everyone could have seen Clara's face and her arm involuntarily thrown up in the air. 

We stayed until closing time, which was just right for all of us.

I love the San Diego temple. We attempted to squeeze a visit into our trip but realized driving by on the freeway would have to suffice.

We stopped for Italian food on our way back to the resort. Hazel and Clara were exhausted so we ended up getting our food to go half-way (1/4 of the way?) through our meal.