The Decade List: (Some of) The Worst Films (2007)

Since it was established with 2006's Worst that the Austin Butt-Numb-a-Thon, hosted by everyone's favorite troll, is a legitimate place for a film to make its world premiere, technically 300 and Black Snake Moan belong in the previous year. But 300 is such a fucking horribleterriblewretched film that I'll just leave it with the '07s for now. Black Snake Moan, however, doesn't even register on the shit list when compared to that garbage I once heard referred to as "gay porn for soccer moms," but it sucks enough on its own, outside of one nicely edited music sequence.

This list does beg the question: which breed of bad movie is worse? The obvious abortions (I Know Who Killed Me, Norbit, Good Luck Chuck) or the respected-foreign-auteur-remakes-himself-in-some-form-or-another-for-his-English-language-debut (My Blueberry Nights, Funny Games U.S.)? It was a real lousy year for both Wong Kar-wai and Michael Haneke, whose '07 offerings reeked of not just complacency but utter laziness. Neither could be accused of losing artistic control as a result of Hollywood's over-the-shoulder glare as both were multinational productions, receiving quite a bit of funding from the French in addition to their native countries. They had otherwise respectable English-speaking actors on board, who either did their usual schtick (Naomi Watts) or just embarrassed themselves completely (Rachel Weisz).

Thankfully, Haneke has recovered from the injury of Funny Games U.S., which was one of the major failures that eventually shut down Warner Independent, with his creepy, elegant Palme d'Or winner The White Ribbon [Das weiße Band]. Wong has yet to truly follow My Blueberry Nights up (Ashes of Time Redux doesn't count), though he has reteamed with Tony Leung for 2010's Bruce Lee/martial arts "biopic" The Grand Master, rumored to also star Gong Li and an out-of-retirement Brigitte Lin.

Some lingering questions/thoughts about a few of the titles below. 1.) Why do my parents insist on watching that manipulative drivel August Rush every time its on television (which can sometimes be thrice daily)? 2.) Aside from Assayas' demonlover (and probably The Wizard, but for altogether different reasons), most films that visually incorporate video games are going to blow (w/r/t Ben X, and possibly its upcoming American remake if that's still in production). 3.) Jodie Foster < style="font-weight: bold;">Diary of the Dead? It retains none of the qualities that made his previous zombie films (even Land of the Dead) so enjoyable. 5.) If Dragon Wars had extended that big Los Angeles destruction scene into its full running time, you might have seen it appear on the actual Decade List (as long as they axed poor Robert Forster in the process).

6.) Lots of nudity apparently does not make a horrible movie that much more tolerable (w/r/t the Uschi Obermaier biopic Eight Miles High). 7.) In the past 10 years, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre received a crappy US remake, a crappier US prequel and a wonderful in-spirit-only French take in Fabrice Du Welz's Calvaire; so why bother with something as lousy as Frontière(s)? 8.) Was anyone else deeply disturbed by Dawn Wiener's death scene in Hostel: Part 2? I've already forgotten the specifics of everything else about the movie, but that scene... I can't get rid of. 9.) I should look up and see what other films were in the running for the Caméra d'Or at the '07 Cannes Film Festival, because there had to be something better than Jellyfish playing that year. 10.) The list has a number of "comedies" that didn't pull a single laugh out of me: Good Luck Chuck, Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer, Mr. Woodcock, Molière, Kiss the Bride, Starrbooty and The Ten. I'm pretty sure I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry belongs on that list, but I can vouch that the others didn't provoke even a smirk out of me.

- 300 - d. Zack Snyder - USA [also here]
- August Rush - d. Kirsten Sheridan - USA
- Ben X - d. Nic Balthazar - Belgium/Netherlands
- Beowulf - d. Robert Zemeckis - USA
- Black Snake Moan - d. Craig Brewer - USA
- The Brave One - d. Neil Jordan - USA/Australia
- City of Men [Cidade dos Homens] - d. Paulo Morelli - Brazil
- Diary of the Dead - d. George A. Romero - USA
- Dragon Wars [D-War] - d. Shim Hyung-rae - South Korea
- Eight Miles High [Das wilde Leben] - d. Achim Bornhak - Germany
- Elizabeth: The Golden Age - d. Shekhar Kapur - UK/France/Germany
- Frontier(s) [Frontière(s)] - d. Xavier Gens - France/Switzerland
- Funny Games U.S. - d. Michael Haneke - France/UK/Austria/Germany/USA/Italy [also here]
- Good Luck Chuck - d. Mark Helfrich - USA
- Hannah Takes the Stairs - d. Joe Swanberg - USA
- Happily N'Ever After - d. Paul Bolger, Yvette Kaplan - USA/Germany
- Hostel: Part 2 - d. Eli Roth - USA
- I Can't Think Straight - d. Shamim Sarif - UK
- I Know Who Killed Me - d. Chris Sivertson - USA
- I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry - d. Dennis Dugan - USA
- In the Valley of Elah - d. Paul Haggis - USA
- Into the Wild - d. Sean Penn - USA [also here]
- Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer - d. Jon Knautz - Canada
- Jellyfish [Les méduses] - d. Shira Geffen, Etgar Keret - Israel/France
- Joe Strummer: The Future Is Unwritten - d. Julien Temple - UK/Ireland
- Kiss the Bride - d. C. Jay Cox - USA
- Lost in Beijing - d. Li Yu - China
- Molière - d. Laurent Tirard - France
- Mr. Woodcock - d. Craig Gillespie - USA
- My Blueberry Nights - d. Wong Kar-wai - Hong Kong/France/China
- Norbit - d. Brian Robbins - USA
- The Orange Thief - d. Vinnie Angel, Boogie Dean, Arthur Wilinski - USA
- Poor Boy's Game - d. Clément Virgo - Canada
- Schoolboy Crush - d. Kôtarô Terauchi - Japan
- Sex & Breakfast - d. Miles Brandman - USA
- Starrbooty - d. Mike Ruiz - USA
- Sunshine - d. Danny Boyle - UK/USA
- Teeth - d. Mitchell Lichtenstein - USA
- The Ten - d. David Wain - USA
- Then She Found Me - d. Helen Hunt - USA

Well, it's over now...

You can jazz the Oscars up and put Beyoncé in as many red outfits as you want, but the sad fact will still remain: the Oscars are still a bore and another unmemorable film has been declared the best by the Academy. Kate Winslet has finally won her deserved Oscar for easily the worst of her six nominated performances, and the night's only surprise win came in a category where I didn't want to be surprised: foreign film. (Keep in mind, I haven't seen Departures). Congratulations to Penélope Cruz and Sean Penn.

Countdown to the Oscars (bleh), Part 1

Now that I've watched all of the big Oscar nominees, from the main eight categories (I'd like to consider Foreign one of the "big categories," but as I've never been able to see all the nominees before the ceremony, I can't consider it such), I've ranked each of the nominees in descending order for your arguing pleasure. I've placed the titles in bold that actually deserved their nomination.

Best Picture

1. Milk
2. Frost/Nixon
3. Slumdog Millionaire
4. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
5. The Reader

Best Director

1. Gus Van Sant, Milk
2. Ron Howard, Frost/Nixon
3. Danny Boyle, Slumdog Millionaire
4. David Fincher, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
5. Stephen Daldry, The Reader

Best Actor

1. Sean Penn, Milk
2. Mickey Rourke, The Wrestler
3. Frank Langella, Frost/Nixon
4. Richard Jenkins, The Visitor
5. Brad Pitt, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

Best Actress

1. Meryl Streep, Doubt
2. Anne Hathaway, Rachel Getting Married
3. Melissa Leo, Frozen River
4. Kate Winslet, The Reader
5. Angelina Jolie, Changeling

Best Supporting Actor

1. Josh Brolin, Milk
2. Heath Ledger, The Dark Knight
3. Michael Shannon, Revolutionary Road
4. Philip Seymour Hoffman, Doubt
5. Robert Downey Jr., Tropic Thunder

Best Supporting Actress

1. Penélope Cruz, Vicky Cristina Barcelona
2. Marisa Tomei, The Wrestler
3. Amy Adams, Doubt
4. Viola Davis, Doubt
5. Taraji P. Henson, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

Best Original Screenplay

1. Mike Leigh, Happy-Go-Lucky
2. Martin McDonagh, In Bruges
3. Courtney Hunt, Frozen River
4. Dustin Lance Black, Milk
5. Andrew Stanton, Pete Docter, Jim Reardon, WALL-E

Best Adapted Screenplay

1. Peter Morgan, Frost/Nixon
2. John Patrick Stanley, Doubt
3. Simon Beaufoy, Slumdog Millionaire
4. Eric Roth, Robin Swicord, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
5. David Hare, The Reader

Comments: Why is it that the original screenplay category is the only one in which all five nominees are worth praising? The Reader is easily the worst best picture nominee since Crash. I hate that in a few years, people will look back at the nominees for Best Picture and assume 2008 was a shitty year for film, when it was just the opposite. Let's just hope Hollywood's liberal guilt gives Milk just enough push to take the prize over its extremely less deserving nominees.

More DVDs for April/May

Your two favorite Oscar contenders (Slumdog Millionaire, The Reader) have set DVD release dates in the US. Slumdog will hit shelves on 31 March and The Reader on 14 April (although the website I originally found that from no longer lists a date, so don't expect that to stick). I've heard conflicting reports that Milk will either drop on 3 or 17 March; I'll let you know when it's officially announced. Small Oscar correction: I originally said that Japan's foreign language nominee Departures was without distributor, but actually Regent Releasing has the rights to it.

On the sleazy side of things, Hens Tooth Video will be releasing Flesh Gordon Meets the Cosmic Cheerleaders on 7 April. Shriek Show is releasing Gorman Bechard's Psychos in Love on 28 April. Dark Sky Films will be releasing John Peyser's The Centerfold Girls on 28 April. And hold back your excitement for Warner to release another edition of Billy Jack on 19 May. They will also have the western Catlow, which stars Yul Brynner, Leonard Nimoy and Richard Crenna, on the same date.

PeaceArch is releasing JCVD on 28 April. Sony is apparently skipping a theatrical release for Fabrice Du Welz's (Calvaire) new film Vinyan, which stars Emmanuelle Béart and Rufus Sewell; the disc will street on 7 April in the US and 1 April in France. Montery Home Video will have Avi Nesher's The Secrets, which stars Fanny Ardant, out on 7 April. Also from Israel, VCI is releasing Moshé Mizrahi's I Love You Rosa, which was in competition at Cannes in 1972 and nominated for a Best Foreign Oscar the following year.

Universal is releasing Cecil B. DeMille's Cleopatra from 1934 with Claudette Colbert in the title role. In addition to Cleopatra, Universal will have a box-set of six "Pre-Code Hollywood" films which includes George Abbott's The Cheat, Dorothy Arzner's Merrily We Go to Hell with the wonderful Sylvia Sidney and Cary Grant in a small role, William A. Seiter's Hot Saturday with Grant and Nancy Carroll, Alexander Hall and George Somnes' Torch Singer with Colbert, Mitchell Leisen's murder/mystery/musical Murder at the Vanities and Erle C. Kenton's Search for Beauty with Ida Lupino. Both street on 7 April.

Magnolia will be releasing Franck Vestiel's Eden Log, with Clovis Cornillac, and Robert Celestino's Yonkers Joe, with Chazz Palmenteri, Christine Lahti, Linus Roache and Roma Maffia, on 19 May. PBS will have the documentary I.O.U.S.A. on 7 April. Kino has the documentary Kike Like Me on 21 April, and Facets will be releasing Julien Duvivier's Au bonheur des dammes on 28 April.

And finally, Soda Pictures in the UK is releasing Duane Hopkins' Better Things on DVD on 27 April. A quote on the box describes it as "The Dardenne brothers meet Lynne Ramsay," which is as much of a recommendation that I can think of for me. Anyone heard anything about it?

Cocaine jokes and Cate Blanchett shout-outs!

Was it just me or were the Golden Globes a lot more entertaining than in previous years (well, not including last year)? I don't have a lot to say about them otherwise, except than everyone involved with 30 Rock really kept things engaging, and that Sally Hawkins is adorable. However, did anyone else feel a weird sense of superiority when the winners of Slumdog Millionaire kept referring to the folks in Bombay who "will be going mental" when they see this? I've watched enough BBC to know what "going mental" means, but the way they spoke of everyone in Bombay appeared condescending, and not just because the people in question were children. Whatever.

Previous 10: 12 December - Or Is It Nine?

So technically/maybe this is only 9 films, but I suppose it depends on how you view Che. I'm still not sure what to make of it, as Soderbergh makes a lot of strong decisions as well as bad ones. More thoughts on some of the others later, including Slumdog Millionaire and Blindness.

La Crème

Julia - dir. Erick Zonca - France/USA/Mexico/Belgium - No US Distributor - with Tilda Swinton, Aidan Gould, Saul Rubinek, Kate del Castillo, Bruno Bichir, Horacio Garcia Rojas, Jude Ciccolella

Man on Wire - dir. James Marsh - UK/USA - Magnolia - with Philippe Petit

The Secret of the Grain [La graine et le mulet] - dir. Abdel Kechiche - France - IFC Films - with Hafsia Herzi, Habib Boufares, Farida Benkhetache, Abdelhamid Aktouche, Alice Houri

Les Autres

Che [The Argentina; Guerrilla] - dir. Steven Soderbergh - USA/France/Spain - IFC Films - with Benicio del Toro, Demián Bichir, Catakuba Sandino Moreno, Franka Potente, Rodrigo Santoro, Julia Ormond, Unax Uglade, Kahlil Mendez, Joaquim de Almeida, Lou Diamond Phillips, Yul Vazquez, Jordi Mollà, Matt Damon

Step Brothers - dir. Adam McKay - USA - Sony Pictures - with Will Ferrell, John C. Reilly, Mary Steenburgen, Richard Jenkins, Adam Scott, Kathryn Hahn

Slumdog Millionaire - dir. Danny Boyle - UK/USA - with Dev Patel, Freida Pinto, Anil Kapoor, Irfan Khan

The Bad

Blindness - dir. Fernando Meirelles - Canada/Brazil/Japan - Miramax - with Julianne Moore, Mark Ruffalo, Gael García Bernal, Yusuke Iseya, Alice Braga, Don McKellar, Yoshino Kimura, Maury Chaykin

Dog Tags - dir. Damion Dietz - USA - TLA Releasing - with Paul Preiss, Bart Fletcher, Candy Clark

Goth Cruise - dir. Jeanie Finlay - UK - IFC

LA Film Critics Awards

In a surprise move, the LA Film Critics Association named WALL·E the best film of 2008, with The Dark Knight as its runner-up. The rest of the awards went to Danny Boyle, Sean Penn, Sally Hawkins (!), Heath Ledger, Penélope Cruz (!!), Mike Leigh, Still Life, Man on Wire and Waltz with Bashir (though I don't quite understand why it won Best Animation when their best film was animated... alas...). The full list is here, which includes their runner-ups.

Slumdoggin'

Despite posting the Independent Spirit Award nominations and the National Board of Review's awards, I think I'm going to stray from reproducing all of the critics' awards and best of's for 2008, as you can easily find them on IndieWire, GreenCine or MovieCityNews if you so desire. Instead, I'll post a link here and there to the sites.

The Washington DC Critics Association named Slumdog Millionaire the best film of 2008. Kyle Smith and Lou Lumenick of the NY Post concur.

Gomorrah swept the European Film Awards, winning Best Picture, Director, Actor, Screenwriter and Cinematographer. Roger Ebert lists 20 of the best (narrative) films of 2008, and five docs, in no particular order.

Sight & Sound in the UK has posted their 50-critic poll of the best films of 2008, per UK release date (sort of). With three UK films on the list, the top 10 is as follows:

1. Hunger - dir. Steve McQueen
2. There Will Be Blood - dir. Paul Thomas Anderson
3. WALL·E - dir. Andrew Stanton
4. Gomorrah - dir. Matteo Garrone
5. (tie) A Christmas Tale [Un conte de Noël] - dir. Arnaud Desplechin
5. (tie) The Class [Entre les murs] - dir. Laurent Cantet
7. Of Time and the City - dir. Terence Davies
8. Happy-Go-Lucky - dir. Mike Leigh
9. (tie) The Headless Woman [La mujer sin cabeza] - dir. Lucrecia Martel
9. (tie) Let the Right One In [Låt den rätte komma in] - dir. Tomas Alfredson

And the ball is rolling...

The National Board of Review has started critics' award month for cinema, giving Danny Boyle's Slumdog Millionaire the top prize. There appears to be too many awards for actors given out by NBR, but so be it... The NBR usually ranks as one of the less sophisticated of the year's awards. The rest are as follows:

Picture: Slumdog Millionaire - dir. Danny Boyle
Director: David Fincher (The Curious Case of Benjamin Button)
Actor: Clint Eastwood (Gran Torino)
Actress: Anne Hathaway (Rachel Getting Married)
Supporting Actor: Josh Brolin (Milk)
Supporting Actress: Penélope Cruz (Vicky Cristina Barcelona)
Foreign Film: Mongol - dir. Sergei Bodrov
Documentary: Man on Wire - dir. James Marsh
Animated Feature: WALL·E - dir. Andrew Stanton
Breakthrough Actor: Dev Patel (Slumdog Millionaire)
Breakthrough Actress: Viola David (Doubt)
Directorial Debut: Courtney Hunt (Frozen River)
Original Screenplay: Nick Schenk (Gran Torino)
Adapted Screenplay: (tie) Eric Roth (The Curious Case of Benjamin Button); Simon Beaufoy (Slumdog Millionaire)
Spotlight Award: Melissa Leo (Frozen River); Richard Jenkins (The Visitor)

Top 10 Films (That Aren't Slumdog, "Independent" or "Foreign," but Can Be Animated)
Burn After Reading - dir. Ethan Coen, Joel Coen
Changeling - dir. Clint Eastwood
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button - dir. David Fincher
The Dark Knight - dir. Christopher Nolan
Defiance - dir. Edward Zwick
Frost/Nixon - dir. Ron Howard
Gran Torino - dir. Clint Eastwood
Milk - dir. Gus Van Sant
WALL·E - dir. Andrew Stanton
The Wrestler - dir. Darren Aronofsky

Top 10 "Independent Films"
Frozen River - dir. Courtney Hunt
In Bruges - dir. Martin McDonagh
In Search of a Midnight Kiss - dir. Alex Holdridge
Mister Foe [Hallam Foe] - dir. David Mackenzie
Rachel Getting Married - dir. Jonathan Demme
Snow Angels - dir. David Gordon Green
Son of Rambow - dir. Garth Jennings
Wendy and Lucy - dir. Kelly Reichardt
Vicky Cristina Barcelona - dir. Woody Allen
The Visitor - dir. Thomas McCarthy

Top 5 "Foreign" Films (That Aren't Mongol)
The Edge of Heaven [Auf der anderen Seite] - dir. Fatih Akin
Let the Right One In [Låt den rätte komma in] - dir. Tomas Alfredson
Roman de gare - dir. Claude Lelouch
A Secret [Un secret] - dir. Claude Miller
Waltz with Bashir - dir. Ari Folman

Top 5 "Documentaries" (That Aren't Man on Wire)
American Teen - dir. Nanette Burstein
The Betrayal - dir. Ellen Kuras, Thavisouk Prasavath
Dear Zachary - dir. Kurt Kuenne
Encounters at the End of the World - dir. Werner Herzog
Roman Polanski: Wanted and Desired - dir. Marina Zenovich