Slumming

Lazy as hell. That's what I've been lately.

It's tough, folks. The kids are out of school, the weather's been beautiful, and the World Cup has been going since last Thursday. 

So much soccer. But it's great. The kids' club season just started (after a fantastic high school season for the boy) and we're already doing jamborees and whatnot, so having FIFA running non-stop is just keeping everyone pumped...apologies to the non-soccer fans.

[did you see that Spain'Cape Verde game? Vozinha is my new geezer hero]

But D&D has been on the backburner.

I mean, not TOTALLY...I have a project I'm working on, at the moment (more on that later), but playing D&D has been OFF the table the last month or so. Doesn't help that one of my players (Diego) is currently Mexico with his grandparents.

[he says he's training/conditioning for soccer, but he's mainly been hanging on the couch in his jammies with abuelo watching TV...again, it's the Mundial, folks]

And so, as happens at times (maybe when I've been drinking a lot...), I had a rather loopy idea. It was late, the soccer was over for the night but it was hot (it's been hot lately), and I was scrolling through random, terrible, Reddit posts trying to put my eyeballs to sleep and I thought:

What if I joined them?

What if I joined a 5E game...as a player?

Because, here's the thing: I know what these DMs want.  Unfortunately (stupidly, even), I was once looking for something very similar from my players. They want players with a high level of investment, who can "role-play" (in the play-acting sense), yet who still know the mechanics/rules and who can operate within those rules while maintaining the "fiction" of the story.

I get it. It's a fool's errand to hope for or expect this type of game because A) so few people have the capacity to operate in this way, B) it holds so little appeal to those who might have the ability, and C) the egos between such players and DMs can so easily get in the way or cause breakdowns in play. But I'm a rare unicorn in this regard. I can "role-play" and create characters that are "quirky" or "interesting" while still being cooperative, I can absorb and recall rules and mechanics, and I can have absolutely  no ego with regard to the "play of the game," because I have no attachment to playing 5E. I don't give a rip. 

I'd just be a mercenary character actor who knows how to roll dice and ham it up...easy-peasy. Plug me in. And...regardless of the relative ability of the DM or the other players, I won't say "boo;" rather, I'd act as the glue keeping the players together. As best as I can. Because I know how to do that.

But it would be "slumming" for me. And I think, while I might be able to contribute to a game session or two, I'd be doing a disservice to the others at the table because I "don't give a rip" and would have absolutely no loyalty to the game, the DM, or the table. I have no interest in staying for the multi-week (or -month) story arc that passes for a "campaign" in the 5E community. For me, it would just be passing time...just for the hell of it. Yes, I could provide the illusion of engagement...and it would be a type of "engagement"...but it would be an exercise devoid of caring. As I said: mercenary. And since (presumably) no one would be paying ME to play, I'm unlikely to stick around long.

Still, the idea started rattling around in my skull. 5E's a pretty simple game, and I'd just stick with my favorite character type: the Plain Jane human fighter. Durable, fight-worthy, and a "blank enough" slate that you can put whatever "character-isms" you want on him, and specializing in a single character combo makes my "roolz larnin" even easier. 

Admittedly, I'm not terribly original, so I'll repurpose my "old warrior" idea from back in 2010 because, why not? It's still good and (for me) a fun concept. Perhaps, we'll do him a bit 'looser' than King Haggard...a little more of Harold Lamb's Khlit, or even a bit of Don Quixote (without the delusions). Feisty, but not quite so mean...after all, he does have to work with the other PCs!

Pulling my son's 5E PHB from the bottom of his shelf, and just going "by the book," here's how I'd stat my not-so-OC:

Appropriate
Thousand Mile Stare

DON SALAZAR

Neutral Human Fighter, 1st Level

STR 14 (+2)

DEX 11

CON 9 (-1)

INT 13 (+1)

WIS 16 (+3)
CHA 15 (+2)

AC: 19

Hit Points: 9

Fighting Style: Defense, Second Wind

Skill Proficiencies: Animal Handling (+5), Intimidation (+4), History (+3), Persuasion (+4)

Equipment: chain mail, shield, longsword, dagger, spear, 2 hand axes, explorer's pack, fine clothes, signet ring, scroll of pedigree, purse with 22 gp

Background: Noble (Feature: Retainers)

Tale: For decades I have watched my family estates diminished, our debts take our land and livelihood, my father reduced to a doddering wretch. The time of my inheritance fast approaches, and yet what remains is little more than a ruin. There is nothing to build upon, nothing to start anew, our coffers empty of all but pride and what little respect remains for our name. 

Thus you find me as I am: a soldier-of-fortune, living by my sword in hopes of restoring the fortune that was my birthright. A man with courage and wit can find a way, even when the cause seems hopeless. I am not so young as I once was, but the time for adventure is now...for me, there is no other choice.

As I said, pretty easy to knock these things out...I am just a hack after all. But great literature isn't needed here...just a starting point for interaction with the other players in the game. If I do decide to "slum it" in a 5E game, this is the kind of approach I'll (probably) take. 'Cause it's easy. Plus I can use my "old man" voice to entertain people.

But right now, I have an Uruguay match to watch.

; )

"JB's Mailbag" Returns!

The "Q" post in my A to Z series is on the way, but it needs a bit of a re-write (it's just overlong and "over-meander-y"). So in the meantime, I thought I'd give folks something to chew on.

I still get Reddit spam in my inbox and (when bored) I still check these on occasion. A couple 'good' ones recently made me decide to throw up another Dear Reddit post; hopefully, some will find it useful....

Dear JB:

I would like to apologize for all of this, but it is something that i must take out of my chest. I'm an DnD 5e player for the last 7 years, i still, never finished one campaign at all. That's because all of the groups i end up joining get their campaingns cancelled by problems out of my reach.

• The DM just gives up 
• Players just leave and ghosts the party. 
• A player makes bigs mistakes on purpose and end up breaking up the party. (Last one)

All those things makes me feel frustrated and sad, because i never get to finish my characters stories. I get so engaged and immersed with the story, and then, it all crumbles instantly. All the adventure disappears, the ideas of roleplaying with others just vanishes.

As i am someone who really is fond of the characters i make, I've been reusing them just hoping they would get a good ending, but it never happens. All i wished was a game where i could share a story with others, and others could share theirs stories as well, as we have our adventures to defeat a great villain, or unvail secrets.. I don't know. Really I'm starting to lose hope, as I can't feel happiness with my favourite hobby, which is RPG.  I simply don't know what to do anymore at this point.

Sorry to bother you, I just needed to share it with someone.

The Campaign I Was On Just Died

Dear Sad Player:

I feel your pain. I do. I have empathy for you. I want to write that at the outset, just because the advice I have for you might sound a little...hard.

The frustration you are describing is the product of the type of game you are playing. It is not the Dungeons & Dragons I play...it is the prevalent style of today, and it is a style that is far more conducive to disappointment, exhaustion, and frustration than it is to "enjoyable lasting gameplay." There are reasons why I prefer AD&D (first edition) to 5th edition and this may be the biggest one of the bunch.

But you don't have to play 1E. You just need to change your mindset. You need to stop believing what the internet (and the publisher trying to make a buck) has been shoveling in your direction.

Let's start at the beginning.  You state:

1. You are fond of creating characters.
2. You want to share those characters' stories with others.
3. You want others to share their characters' stories with you.
4. You want to have adventures where you defeat a great villain or unveil secrets, etc.

What this sounds like to me is that you want to star in your own fantasy epic, playing a character like what one might read in a fictional fantasy novel or see on the screen in a film or television show. 

Do you not understand how self-centered and selfish this is?

I say that without judgement (as in, I don't think you're a "bad person"). To accomplish what you want, you need a DM who is willing to cater to your character's story and a group of players who are willing to be foils (i.e. play "bit parts") to the story you want to "share" with others. That's a lot of people working (and working hard) to give you the experience you are hoping for. 

And, of course, you're not alone. There are PLENTY of players (probably even the same ones sitting at your table) who want the exact same thing. That seems to be the main draw (for players) of 5E these days, when you get right down to it.  And I'm not judging THEM either.

But consider THIS: the author of a novel (or the scriptwriter for a film or television show) is ALSO a person who wants to "create characters" and "share stories with others," right? Of course they are. They might want to make money doing it, too (who doesn't?) but storytellers USUALLY get into the business because they have a passion for making characters and sharing stories.

And they do the work themselves. 

That's the important bit. An author is the one who writes the story; they then share the story with others to read. Some folks may not be interested. Some folks may read the story and not like it. Some folks might read it and love it. But regardless, NONE of those people had to do anything but pick up the finished product...the AUTHOR did all the work for them.

You don't want to do the work of an author. You want others to work for YOU.

Can you not see how this can cause DMs to "give up?" Can you not see why other players (whose expectations of their own protagonist character are not being met) "just leave and ghost" the play group? Can you not see how one frustrated player might (in their frustration) choose to "make a big mistake" that ends up "breaking" the party?

This is all the usual results of the narcissistic play you are looking for.

You  are hoping for something that looks like the pantomime you see in an internet-streamed "show;" but understand many of those people are there for VERY DIFFERENT REASONS. They are making money. Or they are promoting themselves. Or they are fueling their egos with their fifteen minutes of fame. For them, there is a REASON why they are performing (not playing) in the way that you would hope your group would resemble. That 'other incentive' (whatever it is) is the glue that keeps them together and keeps them coming back to the table (and the video camera) to perform their pantomime of play.

As a game, this is not what D&D is; it certainly isn't what D&D was. And those of us still playing the game as it was in the early days (pre-1985) can vouch for the fact that the game is still a game worth playing, still a game worth loving, still a game where "fun" is had, even though we do not have the same expectations of play (nor do we achieve the desired outcomes) that you and your likeminded fellows have. 

I'm not saying that to indicate we are "better" than you; I'm just telling you that we are not experiencing the sadness and frustration that you are. 

I've seen what other people have written in response to your post. Most of the folks have shared that they are in the same boat and decry that this is just a "fact (or "curse") of D&D play." No. It is only a fact of this type of D&D play. Some of the people reading your post have suggested you hire a "paid DM" to run the game. Well, sure...because, as I said, with this style it requires ADDITIONAL INCENTIVE (just like those streamers get) to get the type of experience you are seeking.

You want someone to do the work for you? You've got to pay someone to do it.

But if you don't want to hire people to do the work for you and you're unwilling to try for three or seven of 40 years (as your "helpful" responders suggest) to find the occasional bunch of rubes willing to give you the play you want...well, you MIGHT consider playing the game in the style it was originally intended to be played. Which is incredible and amazing and wonderfully energizing.

Can I share with you the basics? You're welcome to quit reading at any time.

First: when you make a character, leave aside any "story" you have about the character. You have a wizard who has a background as a sailor or whatever...fine. Don't make it MEAN anything besides what it says. It's just a character...and all a character IS is a vehicle with which you can interact with the game. In other words, your character is NOT a vehicle for "telling stories."

Second: ...*sigh*

Unfortunately, this is the really hard part. The part that's hard to hear. Up until now, I was trying to be as gentle as possible and give you information that would apply regardless of whether you played 5E or 2E or Pathfinder or whatever. 

But the hard part is this: SECOND, you have to approach the game as a game to be experienced, not as a story to be told. And...unfortunately...you cannot do this if you're playing with a 5E DM or a group of 5E players who are operating under the same assumptions of game play you describe in your letter. If they think the game is about telling stories, well, you're going to run into the same issues, over and over again: DMs quitting, players ghosting, players "breaking" the game out of frustration. 

So, the real "second thing" you need to do is find a competent DM running a competent game of D&D. And, unfortunately, there's damn few of us around these days. And just as with the 5E crowd, it's more challenging to find people willing to take up the DM mantle than it is to find people who want to play. And you, yourself, are one of those who want to play. Plus, per your letter, I presume you are unfamiliar with older edition games (and thus need someone to teach you the rules of those games). All of these are barriers to you getting the exciting, entertaining experience that made D&D a hit in the first place.

It's not an impossible row to hoe...but it's definitely not an easy one.

As I said, I feel your pain. I understand what you're looking for, because you've been sold a bill of goods. The truth is this: if you really want to make characters and share stories, your best bet is to become an author and start writing. There's still a healthy market for fantasy fiction, and if you don't mind just giving away your stories for free, I'm sure there are some people who will jump at the chance to read your stuff. Everyone needs a creative outlet...you can have yours, especially if you have no attachment or expectation of being financially rewarded or lauded by the masses. 

But if you want to play D&D...a cooperative game of fantasy adventure...with people in a campaign that lasts,a group that doesn't quit on you, your best chance of experiencing that is with a group of "old edition"-minded players. They're out there, and they're not all geezers like me (my kids play 1E and they're in their early teens; the Cauldron convention in Germany features players in their teens through their 60s and draws people from a dozen plus countries around the world). The old books are still available, print-on-demand, and the old ways are still alive and kicking. Maybe it's time you tried something different from what you've been doing?

It would be cheaper than hiring a "paid DM," and there's quite a few of us trying to cut costs these days. PDFs of the "core" first edition books (the PHB, DMG, and MM) can be picked up for under $30...that's a lot cheaper than a tank of gas! For complete beginners, I also suggest Tom Moldvay's Basic D&D set as an introduction (only $4.99 for the PDF). Something to think about.

Whatever you decide to do, I wish you the best of luck.

Sincerely,

JB

Poison

This is not what I should be doing.

I am sitting at the car dealership, getting a 75K service and oil change (as one does). I am eating a fresh baked cookie some lady just brought around (chocolate chip), and I am putting off the adventure writing that I've been doing the last two days, in order to write this post. Because I feel bad I haven't posted anything in a couple days.

What I should be is writing that darn adventure...and I will be getting back to it today (maybe after a second cookie). But I fell down the rabbit-hole of checking Ye Old Reddit feed and Oh. My. F'ing. God.

It makes me want to cry. Just sob.

The title of this post is "Poison." Because I was just listening to the band (Poison) in the car on the way up here. I was not a fan of Poison back in the day...they were all that was wrong with the crass commercialization of rock music, they were all about the "big hair," they were a "chick band," whatever. Reasons, all right? But they have exactly TWO great songs: Talk Dirty To Me and Nothing But A Good Time.  Both of which, at first pass, feel like throwaway pop metal with a catchy guitar riff (which they are) but which have the ability to evoke far deeper emotion...a nostalgia that conjures memories of early sexual encounters as a hormonal teenager and the alternating hopelessness and hedonism of a young person in their twenties with a few bucks to spend but nowhere near enough to 'make a life.' I don't know about kids these days who just live at home till there 30 and crush out on video games and internet porn, but back when I was growing up (the 80s and 90s) these were fairly universal experiences for "us kids" to go through.

Point is: I appreciate them now.  I wonder if they'll ever speak to my own kids some day.

This Reddit roll, man...just look at these titles from the DnD channel with the topic heading of "DMing:"

Any Tips For A New DM?

Where Can I Find The Text In Each Book Describing How The DM Can Change Or Ignore The Rules?

Awkward Silences With The DM

How Do You Create A Campaign?

Any And All Tips For A Brand New DM?

How To Make Low-Level Encounters Fun And Challenging?

Story Telling Struggles

How To Make Players Engaged In RP?

I'm Very Confused On New DND Content??

Trying DMing For The First Time

How Do You Kick Off And End A Session?

DMing My First Table

Guys, It's My First Time DMing. I Am Starting A PbP Campaign. Am I Being A Bad DM?

Potential Ideas For My Campaign?

What's The Best Starting Campaign For A 1st Time DM?

DMs, What Are Some Skills/Things You Had To Learn Before A Session?

About To Be A New DM, Any Advice You Wish You Got?

Need A Campaign Idea

Need Some Advice On My Story

Need Help Looking For Boss Music [sigh]

All of these have been posted in the last 48 hours. Almost all of them start with some sentence or two describing how they are new to DMing or first time DMing or have no experience DMing or...whatever. The point is: most of them are newbies. AND THEY ARE COMING TO REDDIT TO FIND OUT HOW TO RUN A DUNGEONS & DRAGONS GAME.

Do people not see how RIDICULOUS that is? Is this not the kind of information one might assume would be in the INSTRUCTIONS MANUAL of the game they are playing? And be fairly clearly laid out? Like, maybe on PAGE ONE? Or (if not on page one), wouldn't you think that Page One would say "Hey, in Chapter 5 we describe how to run the game as a DM." You'd think this, right? I mean, I would think this.

But I am old. See my reference to "Poison" above.

On the first page of the Introduction to Moldvay's Basic set (in the first column) I find this:

"Part eight, DUNGEON MASTER INFORMATION, gives a step-by-step design of a sample dungeon level plus tips to help the referee."

I mean, it's D&D right? Not rocket science (which I presume is difficult). All these questions, all these subjects should be addressed right out of the box. Why are people going to the internet for answers to basic questions about DMing? WHY?

And, just by the way, not ALL of the questions are from "newbs." Here's a gem:

So im running a new game for some friends who are brand new to dnd. Ive been dming for 12 years now so i tend to run my own adventures instead of the books. However this is my first time running more than one campaign at a time and ive put so much time and effort into my main group that ive drawn a complete blank on what I should do with my new group. If you guys have any ideas for cool stories I could run them through that would really jump start my creativity and then I can take it from there. I just need something to get me going. So any suggestions?

Yeah, I've got a suggestion: run your new group in the same campaign world as your current, on-going group. Why are you trying to make more work for yourself (when you're already making more work by running multiple groups)? Again: not rocket science. You have 12 years of experience. You are adept at making and running your own adventures. Surely you have already created/run material that could be recycled for the new folks...why are you trying to reinvent the wheel from scratch?

Also: learn punctuation. It's a life skill.

I really, really, really want to take a break from the internet...at least, from all the "interactions." The blogs, the discords, the reddits, the forums, etc. It is all so non-helpful, so non-constructive. And it makes me sad. It saps my energy. I, again, (briefly) considered actually creating a profile on the reddit to address these querying questioners, to get involved in the verbal sparring and disinformation and misinformation that is being promulgated by "D&D experts." I considered it...as if this would be a good use of my time. As if trying to put out each small fire on an individual level would somehow keep the  forest from burning down around my ears.

No. Poison. This shit is poison. 

SO, I'm going to step away. Going to take a deep breath. Brew a pot of coffee, throw on a little Sade Love Deluxe (I thought about the Eagles, but that way leads to day drinking). Going to buckle down and see how much of this adventure I can knock out today. I'm hoping to, at least, finish the crypt portion...that part's easy.

Let Rome burn, while I fiddle away. Ain't looking for nothing but a good time right now.

You Don't Have To Run 5E

People just don't believe me (I guess). 

Over and over again I hear the same complaint; it generally goes something like this:

Man, I'd love to run an [old edition] D&D game, but I've had to bite the bullet and run 5E. That's the only game players seem to want (or know how) to play. 

Let me be perfectly crystal clear here: no, you NEVER have to run 5E (nor any other version of the world's greatest RPG) for anyone. 

Nope. Zero. 

These folks that are complaining are missing an important dynamic here: the Dungeon Master holds all the power.

"But-but-but...without players to DM, what IS a Dungeon Master? I must please my players or they will leave and there will be no game! I'll be left all aloooooone...!"

It is this kind of thinking that keeps you in chains.

Look: forget (for a second) that there is this internet thing that allows us to connect with (and find) players all over the world. Ignore that...forget about it.  Okay? Got it? Moving on:

Is anyone forcing you to be a Dungeon Master?

Seriously...blink twice if you are being forced to run D&D against your will; we'll send the cops to free you from your kidnappers. 

For the vast majority (if not 100%) of cases, we are choosing to be the Dungeon Master. For any number of reasons!  But "Dungeon Master" is not a profession (yes, yes...I know there are some people who earn money DMing...just keep wit my thread). You are not dependent on running D&D to earn your daily bread...something else is putting food in your mouth and a roof over your head. Being a DM ain't that thing...it's not like you will starve to death and become homeless if you stop being the DM.

We CHOOSE to be DMs to run a D&D game. No one is putting a gun to our heads. And just as we have the free will to choose to run D&D, we have the free will to choose which version of D&D we want to run. In fact, if you plan on taking up the mantle of a DM it is your responsibility to choose a version of D&D that you want to run, that is most comfortable for you to run.

Because if you don't, your game will suck.

That's the truth of the matter: a DM cannot be fully invested in their own game if it isn't a game they want to run. Instead, you'll end up frustrated, regretful, and resentful. You will grow fatigued when it comes to the act of creation, rather than inspired and energized. Your games will suffer, you will lose enthusiasm, you will draw out a long, slow, death and constantly looking forward to the time when the campaign finally, mercifully ends.  You may be a competent DM for the duration, but you will definitely NOT be the best DM you could be.  How could you be? When you hate coming to work every day, you either drag your feet (perhaps subconsciously hoping you'll get fired) or build up a smoldering ball of anger inside that kills all the joy you should feel at this pastime you've CHOSEN to do.

You MUST have joy in the act of being a Dungeon Master: not only of running the game, but of crafting the world and writing adventure scenarios. If you do not, your game will suck and your players will sense it no matter how good a job you do at hiding it (unless, I suppose, they're really obtuse players). Running a campaign is WORK. You must enjoy that work or you will not give it your best effort. True...you MAY be able to "steel yourself" and still put up a heck of a game. But it will NOT have the excitement and joyfulness it could have. And will, thus, suffer for it. 

"But-but-but...all my players are my FRIENDS!  It's not just about wanting to play D&D, it's about wanting to play D&D with THESE PARTICULAR PEOPLE. And they ONLY want to play 5E!  If I refuse to run 5E, my long time gaming group will disappear!"

Just what kind of slave are you?  Or, perhaps a better question, what kind of friends are these? 

I have friends. Most of them I've never gamed with. NONE of them are folks I currently game with. That doesn't stop us from being friends. And if they invited me to join their table and play a session of 5E with them, I might give it a whirl...if I didn't have any other pressing engagements that particular evening. 

But I wouldn't run 5E for them. I would not run a 5E campaign for them. 

And if they wanted me to run a D&D campaign for them...or ANY kind of campaign for them (that is an incredibly imposition, just by the way: hey, will you our Dungeon Master?)...and IF I had the time and the bandwidth to do so, it would be under MY TERMS.

Because I am the Dungeon Master.

I used to run a weekly game at a local bar every Thursday night. For the most part, the game I was running was B/X. For the most part, most of the players that would show up to the game were people I had never met before they sat down at my gaming table. Over time, the number of players grew to double-digit numbers. Then I stopped running a B/X game and instead started play-testing other things. The number of players shrunk. But new players comtinued to show up...people who had read about my game on my blog or who had heard about the game from a friend or someone who was bringing their significant other to the table. 

The game ended because I moved to Paraguay for three years. The game only ended because I ended it.

In my youth, I stopped running games because I stopped running games. It's not because "all my players left me." So what? You can always find players. People like to play games and people are (usually) pretty lazy...as long as all they have to do is show up and roll dice, well gee, that's pretty easy.  Hell, most players these days can't even be bothered to read the rule books! 

[damn illiterate culture we're sliding into]

The only person doing REAL WORK here, is the guy or gal sitting in the Dungeon Master's chair. So guess what? THAT's the person who's calling the shots on what game gets run at the table. There's not even the excuse (only semi-valid 10 years ago) that the old books are out-of-print. You can get all the 1E stuff now, print-on-demand! Or PDF if you want to go cheap and digital!

[sure, buddy...like you're really going to read the book]

Don't let would-be players manipulate you. "But 1E isn't supported with on-line tools like 5E," they whine. Yeah, because it doesn't need "support;" there aren't any 'character builds' in 1E. "But 1E was written by racist old white dudes." So what? Lots of games were. Does it stop other people from enjoying them? Have you ever looked at the guys who built the NBA, the NFL, the MLB, etc.?  "But 1E is all about killing people and robbing them!"  Look, I thought you wanted to play Dungeons & Dragons. The game is about finding treasure in a violent, action packed world. If you don't want to play that kind of game...that's OKAY. But that's the game I run.

[and please tell me, just by the way, is it somehow better to play a game that still involves murder but without the robbery? Because you're murdering for "altruistic" reasons? Just WTF does THAT say about our cultural norms these days?]

There are some people who disagree with, or dislike, the premise of the D&D game. And that is fine...D&D is probably not the game for them. But if you (like me) are okay with that premise and want to run a game of Dungeons & Dragons, then do so. And do so in the manner...and with the system...that YOU find most comfortable and that best suits your needs.  Maybe that IS 5th edition. Or 2nd. Or B/X or one of its many clones. That's fine...YOU are the Dungeon Master. You call the shots.

But don't bitch and moan about it. Don't say you have to run 5th edition. That's a damned lie. No one HAS TO run 5E (save, perhaps, for WotC employees who have it stipulated as pat of their contract). One of the perks of being the Dungeon Master is that you're the honcho in charge...stop giving away your power!

Dungeon Masters, sorry to say, are a premium commodity: there aren't enough of them to go around. And if you don't have a DM and want one...that can be tough. Like it or not, you might very well end up in a 5E game if that's the only thing available in your area. And that's sad because 5E (especially its latest incarnation) ain't great. 

But if you're a competent and willing Dungeon Master? You're good to go. Just run the game you want to run, regardless of any demands of the players. If the game/system you're running is one YOU are enthused about, the players who are interested in that type of gaming will be fully engaged and committed. If they're not, they'll walk...and that's okay. Because the alternative is going to be ending up with a game that sucks.

Grow a backbone. Stop whining. Run the game you want to run.

Uni's Lost Horn

Quick note before we get into it: just want everyone to know that after a bit more reading/perusal, I returned the new 5.5E Dungeon Master's Guide to my local B&N and got my money back ($55 and change). Just a no-brainer when you consider A) I play 1st edition, and B) the book is a steaming pile of garbage. 

One of the last straws that broke the camel's back? Hey, they had Warduke's helmet as a possible magic item!  Here's the description (the accompanying illustration made it clear who it belongs to):

Dread Helm

Wondrous Item, Common

While you're wearing this fearsome steel helm, your eyes glow red and the rest of your face is hidden in shadow.

Check that out...that's all it is. A magic item that has a cosmetic, non-game related effect. It just makes your eyes glow red.

But don't feel like this is something to pawn off on your henchman...this is a common magic item. Which means it can be purchased in any old town.

Common magic items can often be bought in a city or town. 

Cost for a common magic item in 5th edition? 100 g.p. As compared to mundane, non-magical plate armor which costs 1,500 g.p. WTF? Is that verisimilitude? NO. But, hey don't worry, because the book tells you plain and simple:

The Game is Not an Economy. The rules of the game aren't intended to model a realistic economy, and players who look for loopholes that let them generate infinite wealth using combinations of spells are exploiting the rules. 

Of course, what if your players are those "optimizers" who enjoy finding loopholes, just like these? Aren't we supposed to be "making it fun for everyone?" Well...

Rules Rely on Good Faith Interpretation. The rules assume that everyone reading and interpreting the rules has the interests of the group's fun at heart and is reading the rules in that light.

I think you're making a BIG assumption there...an assumption that anyone is going to READ these rules. Rules that are subject to arbitrary change by the DM, so they really don't matter. Hell, it doesn't even matter if the DM knows the rules. Look what's here on the same page (this is Chapter 1, by the way):

Knowing The Rules

You don't have to be an expert on the rules to be a good DM. Of course, itt's helpful to be familiar with the rules especially the ones in the Player's Handbook. But facilitating fun is more important that implementing the rules perfectly. If you're not sure how to apply the rules in a situation, you can always ask the opinion of the players as a group. It might take a few minutes, but it's usually possible to reach an answer that feels fair to everyone, and that's more important than a "correct" answer.

Just about every sentence in that paragraph is incredibly, seriously wrong. And why do they put the word "correct" in quotation marks? Because what is "correct" is just a matter of opinion? Truth is up for interpretation? Yeah, it feels like I've heard that a lot lately.

ANYway...if I'd read that "knowing the rules" sidebar sooner, I would have dumped the book even faster. But then I couldn't have given you folks my rant-y review. Ah, the things I do for my readers!

Moving on.

As I noted earlier, one of the things that intrigued me about the DMG5.5 (before disgust overwhelmed anything else) was the inclusion of the "D&D kids" from Saturday Morning cartoons. I was a big fan of those cartoons growing up...in fact, if hard-pressed, they might edge out Thundarr the Barbarian as the all-time favorite of my childhood. Certainly, the Dungeons & Dragons cartoon was the ONLY cartoon that made me set an alarm Friday night so that I wouldn't miss it in the morning!

I am of the opinion that THAT particular IP is an un-mined resource for nostalgia (and revenue)...so when I saw that they were throwing those dudes into the artwork and "lore" of 5.5 I was kind of thrilled. And, THEN, I became curious...extremely curious...about one particular image:

See that odd duck over on the left? That's "Niko."

Who the heck is this Niko person?

This illustration led me down a rabbit hole of internet Googlings, till I found the answer: no, Niko was not a character from some un-watched (or un-developed) TV episode. She is a cleric character created for use with an adventure module featuring the D&D kids that WotC produced as part of their 50th anniversary celebration. She even has a "magic weapon" of her own, imaginatively called "Niko's Mace" (though that item is not in the DMG5.5, unless I somehow missed it). 

That adventure (which I'd never heard of before yesterday) is called Uni and the Hunt for the Lost Horn. And after much, much scouring of the inter-webs, I was able to find a PDF copy. Here's my capsule review (in the style of Mr. Bryce Lynch):

This 48 page adventure uses three pages to describe a tiny "demi-plane" dungeon consisting of five encounter areas. It is for 5th edition, which means it's trash anyway, but at least it does not provide any personality, background, or role-playing notes for the seven pre-generated characters included with the module, so your table should be mercifully spared faux-acting and cobbled drama. My childhood has been mined for profits and my life is a living hell.

*ahem*

The adventure seems loosely based on the Episode 4 of the cartoon series, "Valley of the Unicorns" (yes, yes, I am a tremendous nerd). Which I remember as being quite good. It has a demon idol, a great villain, a sinister plan, a Daern's Instant Fortress, miserable de-protagonization of cutesy fairy tale creatures, an appearance of the Imprisonment spell (one of the more awesome moments of the series, IMO), and a pack of worgs. I mean, it's very "D&Dish," even if the characters aren't looting the hell out of everything.

ANYway, the Lost Horn adventure isn't nearly as cool. A couple of lame fights, maybe some double-crossing with a bullywug chieftain (?), and a deus ex machina at the end where Venger comes in and finishes the fight. I mean, it's really pretty dumb.

But what it DOES have is, again, nice artwork illustrating the artist's idea of what the grown up D&D kids look like. And that's pretty nifty (though, honestly, I don't think they needed to turn Bobby into a gym bro; I see a lot of crushed Coors light cans in his dorm room...). That's neat...un-tapped potential finally being tapped (as they probably should have done for the D&D movie).

"Battle Medic," natch

I don't even mind Niko terribly. I can already tell that the inclusion of a new cast member will raise the hackles of some fans (doesn't it always?) especially as her obvious "diversity" will be interpreted as, well, obvious diversity (which some people dislike). But let's be honest here: if the kids were an actual D&D party, they would want a cleric, no? None of them have much in the way of first aid training and any scrape from a bullywug spear is likely to get infected (and so many of these kids insist on roaming the wilderness in shorts and bare arms...) and lead to an untimely death. Well, maybe...I suppose the cartoon's not called Advanced Dungeons & Dragons. Perhaps tetanus isn't a thing in "the Realm."

[whether it is or isn't, I have to admit she's pretty superfluous. This IS 5E, after all, so it's not like people die easily. Also, no undead in the adventure]

So...grown up kids? Cool. Everything else? Not so much. 

And reading through this reminded me this isn't the first time WotC has tried to stat out the D&D kids for the game; sometime circa 2007, they sold a special DVD box set of all the cartoon episodes...which I own. In addition to the disks and a bunch of ink drawings and collectable cards, the box contained an actual honest-to-goodness adventure (written for DND3) with write-ups of all the characters, plus Venger (an 18th level, half-infernal for the curious)!

Unlike, Uni's Lost Horn, the PCs in this adventure are STILL KIDS.  And they're 7th level adventurers (in Lost Horn, they're only 4th level). The adventure (credited to Matthew Sernett) is called Beneath the Blade of Sword Mountain, which kind of kicks the ass of "Uni's Lost Horn." Oh, you want the capsule review again? Here it is:

This twenty-six page adventure uses nine pages to describe four encounter areas, including each area's individual battle map. Most of the remaining pages are taken up with full page artwork of the D&D characters. The writing is extremely tiny, the page size is the same as a DVD case, and I am so old I needed a magnifying glass to read Mr. Sernett's name in the designer credits.

No cleric in this one (and no undead either or the D&D kids would be So Screwed!). Interesting that in addition to a full 3E stat block (skills! feats!), each character gets a paragraph of text describing their personality and relationship with the other PCs...role-playing notes, in other words. Which are completely absent from the Uni's Lost Horn adventure.

Why am I bothering to write about all of this? Well for one thing, it's Friday and that seems to be the day I have more free time for blogging (though I made time for yesterday's bile. Man, did it get my dander up!). But also, because it's put an idea into my head: maybe I want to do my own version of the D&D kids...for AD&D, of course...along with some sort of adventure.  In fact, there's no "maybe" about it; I definitely want to do this!

Yes, indeedy. The only question is, which tack do I take? Old kids or young kids? And do I write my own adventure or rewrite one of these two?  And if I do decide to make my own, should I use one of the old cartoon episodes as inspiration? There are a few good ones to draw from. More than a few. I kind of want to (re-)do Valley of the Unicorns, because Kelek is so dastardly as an evil wizard. I dig it. You tell me.

Okay, that's enough for a Friday afternoon. And here's your "moment of zen:"

A LOT of crushed beer cans...

The Death Of Adventure

So...last night (Wednesday), I purchased the new "5.5E" Dungeon Master's Guide.

No joke.

The kids and I were at Barnes & Noble, using up old gift cards (we had some $160 worth that were sitting in the glove box of the car). While many actual ("non-game") books were bought, I threw the DMG on the pile for a lark. I mean, if I fancy myself a "game designer," shouldn't I be keeping up with new developments in the hobby? Plus, it had a cool cover and I am NOT immune to the same visual snares as any other gamer geek. C/mon...Warduke? He's my fave!

My son just rolled his eyes at me. 

But seriously, the subject of 5E has been coming up lately with regard to some of the things I've been writing (and some of the feedback I've been getting), and I thought maybe I needed to take a good look at just what WotC (or "the WotC" as some call it) is selling customers these days. I mean, I have the receipt...I can still take the book back.

; )

ANYway...after the kids were in bed, I skimmed the book for an hour or so, making note of the different sections, seeing what new things had been included, noting some of the cuteness. I confess, I do love the inclusion of the "D&D kids" from the early 80s cartoon; especially nice to see their "magic weapons" all getting write-ups in the the Magic Items section. Nice to see Greyhawk get some love as an example campaign setting (I didn't bother reading the write-up). The "lore glossary" was kind of fun (no Gord the Rogue, though). Also, interesting the chapter on "bastions"...5E adding some domain rules to their game? How 'old school' of them!

I woke up this morning a little before 6am and, as usual, being unable to get back to sleep, decided to go downstairs, brew some coffee, and give the thing a thorough read-through. 

And...hm.

Well, at first it wasn't all that bad. In fact, my original title for this blog post was going to be "Eye of the Beholder" because, if you read the text from a particular perspective...say, one of having decades of D&D gaming under your belt...and then tilted your head a little bit...well, you could say 'Okay, I guess this is still D&D.'  I mean, the "how to run a session" is fairly similar to any other edition's session running. Discussions of DM's unique play style, respecting our fellow participants (players and DMs alike), rules adjudication, yes, yes, this all seems normal. Advice for dealing with overly cautious players, uh-huh. How to deal with rules discussions, okay. A lot of things on proper communication...what I'd call "no brainer" stuff, but we live in a world where bad behavior gets tolerated (especially on-line), and everyone is touchy, so maybe having some of this up front is fine. VTT discussion...okay, small, but worth mentioning, no problem...

Then we get to Chapter 2: Running the Game.

KNOW YOUR PLAYERS

...your role as Dungeon Master is to keep the players immersed in the world you've created and to give the characters the opportunity to do awesome things.

Knowing what your players enjoy most about the D&D game helps you create and run adventures that they will enjoy and remember. Once you know which of the following activities each player in your group enjoys, you can tailor adventures to your players' preferences.

So what are these activities? They book divides them into several descriptive categories, each category including several ideas for engaging these specific types of players. They include the following (in alphabetical order): Acting, Exploring, Fighting, Instigating, Optimizing, Problem-Solving, Socializing, Storytelling. These ideas for all these are bad, dumb, or worse. For the "socializing" player, there aren't any ideas; instead, the book simply says:

Many groups include players who come to the game primarily because they enjoy the social event and want to spend time with their friends, not because they're especially invested in any part of the actual game. These players want to participate, but they tend not to care whether they're deeply immersed in the adventure, and they don't tend to be assertive or very involved in the details of the game, rules, or story. As a rule, don't try to force these players to be more involved then they want to be. 

Are. You. Fucking. Kidding. Me?

I started to read ahead, faster and faster...skimming over extremely extraneous rules (example: "audibility distance" has a random table: 2d6x5' if you're trying to be quiet, 2d6x10' with normal movement, 2d6x50' if "very loud," undefined. Oh, here's another: roll D20 for weather: 1-14 "normal for season," 13-17 colder, 18-20 hotter. Thanks, tips). Ignored the paltry miniatures rules and got to combat, where we get this good advice under the section KEEPING COMBAT MOVING: 

Don't Repeat Game States

When a characters do something to change the tactical situation, don't respond by putting things back to the way they were before. For example, if a character takes the Disengage action to move away from a group of monsters, don't respond by having those same monsters chase the character. Move the monsters somewhere else.

Guess no pursuit/evasion rules needed here. 

Hasten A Monster's Demise

If a combat has gone on long enough [undefined] and the characters' victory is almost certain, you can simply have the monster drop dead. The players don't ever need to know that still had 15 Hit Points left...

How is that different from "fundging" dice rolls again?

Change The Monster

You can transform one monster into another to keep a fight interesting. Maybe a worg splits open and a gibbering mouther spills out to take its place. Or a cultist is consumed in a pillar of infernal flame and a devil erupts from the ashes. 

Or maybe I should suddenly yell and throw my beer at the players because they seem to be dozing off, right? That'll liven things up...keep 'em on their toes, right?

OMG (as the kids say)...this was starting to get really, really bad. I quickly flipped back to chapter one where the helpful sidebar told me that "Every chapter (but especially chapters 1, 2, 4, and 5) has new advice for Dungeon Masters of all experience levels."  Well, the advice in Chapter 2 had proven fucking horrible, what on Earth would I find in Chapters 4 and 5?

Chapter 4: CREATING ADVENTURES

Oh, Lord, no...

Chapter 5: CREATING CAMPAIGNS

*sob*

Everything outlined about the story of an adventure in chapter 4 is true of a campaign's story as well; a campaign is like a series of comics or TV shows, where each adventure (like an issue of a comic or a TV episode) tells a self-contained story that contributes to the larger story. Just like with an adventure, a campaign's story isn't predetermined, because the actions of the players' characters will influence how the story plays out. 

No, of course it's not. It's dependent on Character Arcs:

Like most protagonists in film and literature, D&D adventurers face challenges and change through the experience of overcoming them. By incorporating each character's motivation into your adventures...you'll help characters grow in exciting ways. You can use the DM's Character Tracker sheet to keep track of key information about each character [sections on PC's Goal, Ambition, Quirks and Whims, then]...Players often reveal their characters' motivations through play. If you're uncertain of a character's motivations seem to have changed, it's OK to ask players for clarification.

Because, yeah, if I'm designing adventures that highlight "characters' motivations" it would be pretty challenging to do so given a whimsical fucking player who keeps changing their character's "goals" and "ambitions." Especially if it's just some jackass that only shows up to "socialize."

This f'ing thing. 

There are a lot of people who say that "D&D 5.5" is pretty much the same thing as 5E, and mechanically-speaking (i.e. with regard to the actual nuts-n-bolts rules), this appears to be the case. But this is most definitely NOT the same game as previous editions. To paraphrase a famous movie line, "This ain't even the same Goddamn sport."

It is clear to me that WotC has leaned HARD into that cash cow that is Critical Role...a program that amassed a half billion views between 2018 and 2022.  There was no "Critical Role" in 2014 when 5E was first published, and while I don't own the 5E DMG, I can read it on-line (pirated PDFs abound) and there's nothing in it that comes close to calling D&D a "collaborative story" that focuses on characters. Here, though, it is pervasive and (IMO) plain terrible. Even 5E, as written could still be played (nominally) like Dungeons & Dragons, i.e. with players experiencing the thrill of danger in adventures created by a DM running his or her own world.

Now it's about having a "premise" for your campaign. Now it's about including "foreshadowing" and "callbacks." Now it's about "sharing spotlight" and creating Very Special Episodes for each particular PC in the group. 

Character-Focused Adventures.  Adventures should occasionally highlight character motivations or elements of their backstory. Here are a few examples....

...Avoid focusing adventures on any one character too often, and look for opportunities to have character-focused adventures for each character from time to time.

No. This is not D&D. This is not special snowflake Improv Hour at the Underground. 

All of this is so aggravating and awful I want to nut-punch someone. No wonder the state of the hobby is so incomprehensible. The publishers took the incoherence of 2nd Edition AD&D and multiplied it by a hundred. Why? Because some actors pretending to play D&D made the game uber-popular.

F. That. Nonsense.

I apologize for all the cursing (my kids don't read my blog), but I am incensed. And I am sad. Because it IS sad...yes, SAD!...to see the needless and untimely death of something I love. The death of fantasy adventure gaming. You can sell all the books of rules you want, with stupid tracking sheets, and ridiculous random tables, and long and complex "experience point tables."  But experience points don't matter much when levels are handed out arbitrarily.

You can do away with XP entirely and advance characters based on how many sessions they play or when the characters accomplish significant story goals. This method of level advancement can be particularly helpful if your campaign doesn't include much combat or includes so much combat that tracking XP becomes tiresome.

Oh, I'm sorry. Has tracking XP become tiresome? Let's just sit around talking "in character." That should surely be the way to make my fighter become a more powerful combatant. Lot of danger in hashing out my backstory with sparkling reveals and a clever accent, right?

But is there really any danger? After all, players are allowed to set "Hard Limits" for what they find acceptable, and this can include ANY rules, including those related to CHARACTER DEATH.

Given the degree to which players get attached to their characters, character death can be an emotionally charged situation. It might even be a hard limit for some players (see "Ensuring Fun For All" in chapter 1), so it's worth holding a conversation about how to handle character death at the start of a game.

Oh, I'm sorry. I was under the mistaken impression we were playing DUNGEONS & DRAGONS. I didn't realize that would be TOO HARD for you. Please, let us play this circle-jerk abomination instead!

It is ridiculous. It is terrible. It is dysfunctional. It is schizophrenic: why bother putting in all this "advice" to make interesting tactical distinctions in combat (all in the name of making fights more interesting) when it all just boils down to advantage or disadvantage?  Why bother fighting at all when the DM simply rules the monster drops dead because the fight's been going on "too long?" Or when DMs are advised to have unrelated monsters pop out of an opponent just to spice things up?

The dumbing down of D&D and the squandering of the game's potential has reached apotheosis. I will not say 'things cannot get worse,' because things can ALWAYS get worse. But even making the game worse than this could not kill classic D&D adventure game any deader. What the game's publisher is selling as instructional text to potential Dungeon Masters is worse than a sham...it's a shame. A damn, crying shame.

Hey, but nice cover art! Love Warduke!

"Consent"

Mmm. SO...I've been even busier than usual. Yes, the school year has started for my kids. Yes, we are in the thick of the soccer season (four teams, one of which I'm coaching). Yes, we're also trying to have a last few family outings with friends and such as the summer winds to a close.

But in addition, I'm sill dealing with the barrage of death issues from the last few months. My brother and I have been working daily to clean out my mom's house. It's a fair-sized house with 45 years of accumulated "stuff:" both treasure and trash (we took 2300# of junk to the dump over the course of last week, and that was just the garage). This week my family will be on the road from Wednesday (tomorrow) till Sunday, going to Montana for my grandmother's funeral and graveside service. Just a lot to do. 

*sigh*  Oh, yeah. And my dog's not doing great.

So, what could cause me to sit down and post to Ye Old Gaming blog, when I have so many other things occupying my mind? Like how to get my homeless, alcoholic brother to fix his shit and get to Montana for the funeral of our clan matriarch? Like filing an appeal for my mother's termination of medical insurance March 31st when she died April 22nd? What could get me so riled up that I must blog?

Well, actually, I did have some interesting (to me, anyway) observations about spatial distance and maps in D&D that I kind of wanted to jot down before I forgot about them. But even those have gone out the window...for the nonce.

No...over on a particular D&D discord I frequent, someone posted an excerpt from the latest WotC adventure offering for 5E: a reboot of Lost Mine of Phandelver with a few modifications and several added levels of content. The excerpt is with regard to (I presume) some of the additional material which has a magical curse-life effect transforming the PCs into monsters, should the bad guys succeed at their nefarious plans. The text then adds the following instructional (boxed) sidebar:

PLAYER CONSENT IS REQUIRED

Before you use the character transformation rules presented in this section, check with each player to determine if they are open to their character experiencing physically transformative effects. A player will not miss game benefits if they choose not to use these rules for their character.

What. The. Hell. Are you F'ing kidding me?

Now, before I get worked up into a lather, allow me to add the disclaimer that this blurb came from an internet source, and so perhaps (hopefully) it is completely manufactured. Maybe I've been hoodwinked here, in other words, by a person who just likes to stir up hornets' nests. It was not posted for my sole benefit, but the folks on that particular discord tend to be a caustic and reactionary bunch that like poking bears. So maybe I'm a dupe. The book isn't even available for order as of yet...although it is possible to get "early access" to the digital version.

BUT...assuming this IS accurate:

Just what the F are we playing here?

Consent?! "Consent" for the DM to inflict a curse on the player characters? "Consent" for the DM to apply a fail state in the case of failure? To an imaginary character? A fucking piece of paper?! Are you shitting me?!

Do you need to obtain "consent" in 5E to KILL a player character?! To poison it? To apply level drain? To give the monsters a surprise round?!  "That's not fair!"  NO...FUCK YOU. 

We are still playing DUNGEONS & DRAGONS, right? Right?! There's still a Dungeon Master, right? You players understand what you're signing up for when you sit down to play the game, right? Have you not played games before? 

No, you do not get to "give consent." Not at my table. That's not how D&D works. The Dungeon Master is the Dungeon Master; the Dungeon Master does not need to ask for consent before applying a deserved failure state to your character. Your character is not you. I am not forcing YOU, player, to transform into ANYthing. I am not shooting YOU full of arrows or dropping YOU in a spiked pit or a vat of acid. It is not YOU getting your limb chewed off by a displacer beast. 

Grow the fuck up. Or don't play the game.

I understand that there is a lot of f'd up crap floating around the internet these days, with regard to EVERYthing, not just D&D. I read this article the other day that had issue with the "fantasy racism" of the original Phandelver, stating:

Lost Mines, unfortunately, falls into a trap that D&D has only just begun to deal with, which is the deep-seated issues of fantasy racism present in the genre. Tribes of evil, scheming savages surviving by raiding and banditry like the Cragmaw goblins and the Many-Arrows orc tribe as presented echo malicious stereotypes of all kinds throughout history.

Which is incredibly stupid on so many levels...but it's just an internet opinion. Everyone's got opinions...the blog post you're reading right now is another. And I don't have a problem with people having opinions, or stating their perspective, regardless of how wrong-headed or obtuse or...whatever...it might be. Opinions can (usually) be safely disregarded unless they're coming from someone with whom we have a practical relationship (for example: a player at my gaming table).

WTF

But this...THIS...is not an opinion. This blurb comes from instructional text found in an official product of the flagship company responsible for the manufacture and distribution of this thing called "Dungeons & Dragons."  And it's not presented as some optional rule, but as a procedural element of play: "PLAYER CONSENT IS REQUIRED." Explicit, emphasized text. 

And that's not Dungeons & Dragons. That is...something else.

There are lots of RPGs on the market that aren't D&D. LOTS. Many provide players with a greater degree of authority and control over the narrative structure that makes up (the bulk of) game play from what one finds in the game of D&D. They make for a different play experience, fun in its own way for those who choose to play those games. 

D&D doesn't work like this...not even 5E. I've read the 5E DMG; no where in the book does it tell the DM to obtain the consent of the players before applying some sort of effect or "status" to their characters. The DM is still in charge of running the game, not the players. Traditionally, the standard way for players to express their disapproval of the way a game is run is to WALK AWAY. For the most part, it's a pretty efficient method of ensuring you don't get stuck with a DM you dislike; I've walked away from several DMs over the years. 

[EDIT: for the record, the word "consent" appears exactly zero times in the 5E DMG]

So, anyway... This is really bad. Unlike some of my fellow geezers, it doesn't bother me that people want to debate the morality of killing orcs or that officially elves are, well, even weirder then they were. Heck, it doesn't even annoy me that people prefer different editions of D&D than myself...that's fine, you play yours, I'll play mine, and we'll both houserule the thing as it befits our table. 

But this kind of precedent is bad. Undermining the authority of the DM is bad. Prioritizing a CHARACTER over play or system or rules is bad. It is setting foot on a path that leads eventually to dissolution of the rules...to dissolution of the game as a game.  

This was not well-thought out by the designers. 

And while I'm sure a lot of my readers will say, Oh JB, you're so silly! Who cares? What impact will it even have? Consider that this is found (if my source is correct) in the new reboot of Phandelver.  Not a sequel to Phandelver, but a rewrite of the original...the original adventure included with the D&D Starter Set. That is: the box set being used to teach NEW people how to play D&D.  

This new attitude...this new PARADIGM of how D&D is to be played...is what will inform the next generation of D&D players. And the generation that follows. And the generation that follows. And the company has done an incredible job of NOT "walking back" the various design mistakes they've made over the years, simply streamlining them and modifying them in a fashion that retains the "flavor" of all that's gone before while making it work with whatever new cobbled system is being presented to the public.  So consider that if they (WotC) take this tack, then this is the way we can expect the game to develop, going forward.

Required consent? Really? To transform your character into a monster? What about to transform your character into a corpse? Or a pile of hot ash? 

What was my job again? Dungeon Master? Or dancing monkey?

No. When you sit at my table, YOU are GIVING CONSENT to abide by MY authority as the Dungeon Master. Period. You don't want to give consent to me? Fine...take a hike. I have other people who want to play. 

No...I will not go quietly into the night. I can imagine the Powers That Be happening across my blog post on some random web surfing and saying "Bah. Who cares what this imbecile has to say? We don't want his old way of thinking anyway...he'll either come around or he'll die out like all those other geezers are dying...Gygax, Arneson, etc." Yep, they're right...I will die, eventually. The last eight months has shown me just how quickly the life-spark can go out in people's eyes. I am very well acquainted with mortality these days.

But I'm 49 (50 next month). Living right, I can probably get another 35ish years out of this old body...years that will still find me playing the same brand of D&D that I love. You think I'm going to roll over and play 5E or 6E or "One D&D" or any of that nonsense? No. I've got back-ups of my core books, new prints that should be good through the end of my life...hell, I'm still using books that were printed in the 1970s and they've held up just fine. These new ones should hold up for my kids even after I'm gone.

Does WotC think their brand of D&D is going to outlive me? Heck, by my reckoning 5E hasn't even outshined AD&D's original run of 12 years. We'll compare where they are 20 years from now...hopefully, I'll be passing on my passion to my grandchildren. Regardless, I will continue to play in the way the game was originally intended to be played. 

"Consent is Required?" Not at my table, pal. Kiss off.

[apologies for the cursing in this post...got a little worked up there]

"Let's Go D&D!"

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: 

I've got your 6th Edition D&D rule system RIGHT HERE. Free of charge! Feel free to play-test to your heart's content! Totally compatible with 5E!

[disclaimer: you will probably find it useful to own a copy of the PHB (just until the new 6E version comes out), but splat books with your favorite new classes, races, etc. will work in a pinch]

STEP 1: CHARACTER CREATION

1. Choose a "class" from any that are available; right it on your character sheet. If you don't see one that suits your character concept, make your own.
2. Choose a "race" (i.e. species, ancestry type) from any that are available. If you don't see one that suits your character concept, make your own.
3. Choose a character "background." The 5E PHB has a list of different ideas (the 6E PHB will have a longer list), but you can do anything that pops into your imagination. Go wild! Try to sum it up in a few words (write the elaborate backstory in your spare time), and jot it down on your character sheet.
4. Write down your character's "best ability" (strength, intelligence, wisdom, etc.). 
5. Write down your character's "go to skill," some special feat, cool power, or awesome spell that can really save your bacon. 
6. Give your character any type of equipment that seems reasonable for his/her class, race, and background...it must be noted on your character sheet! Use the lists in the PHB if you need ideas.
7. Give your character a name. Write "health" somewhere on the character sheet. Your character starts at Level 1.

STEP 2: GAME PLAY / SYSTEM

Gameplay is much the same as it ever was: the Dungeon Master describes the situation, the players describe their actions in response to the situation.

• Some actions taken by players will automatically succeed ("I enter the tavern." DM: okay, you do).
• Some actions taken by players will automatically fail ("I fly around the village like a great eagle." DM: no, your character is not a bird and has no magic that would allow such action)
• Some actions taken by players will have a chance of failure ("I want to fight the orc: to the death!" DM: ok); these are called CHALLENGES and require a die roll to determine the outcome:
• In a challenge, the player always rolls a D20; a "20" always succeeds, a "1" always fails.
• The die type rolled by the DM is determined by the relative difficulty of the challenge: very simple/easy (d6), relatively straightforward (d8), burdensome (d10), very difficult (d12), very "iffy" or low chance of success (d20)
• If the character's "best ability" would play a factor in the challenge (for example, Intelligence for a riddle contest, Charisma for seduction, Dexterity to dodge a trap, etc.) the DM should lower his/her die type by one (so a D20 becomes a D12, or a D6 becomes a D4, etc.).
• The player's D20 roll must EXCEED the DM's roll to succeed at the challenge; remember a "20" always succeeds and a "1" always fails!
• If a player does not wish to risk the chance of failure, they may use one of their character's class features to automatically succeed. "Features" of the character include its class, race, background, and go to skill. The player simply describes how the feature causes the character to succeed at the challenge, and then writes a check mark next to the feature. No feature can be used more than once per game session!

For example: Priscilla the tiefling paladin is fighting an owl bear in single-combat (a very difficult challenge!). She could use her "paladin" feature and explain how her training allowed her to suss out the monster's vulnerable spot; or her "tiefling" feature to shoot flames at it, scaring the creature away; or her background of "orphan growing up on the streets" to play some underhanded trick on the monster.

• Some challenges (notably combat) carry a risk of injury. Every time the PC fails such a challenge, they must reduce their health one step: 
• Battered: the character looks like they've been in a fight (mussed and tussled)
• Bloodied: the character is visibly nicked up, bruised, and scratched
• Beaten: the character has "lost their mojo" and is on the verge of collapse
• Broken: the character has been knocked out, injured, and/or so traumatized that he/she cannot continue without healing and recovery
• For D&D campaigns that wish to include a higher level of lethality, add one more level of hurt (Buried) indicating character death, but clerics of 5th+ level are able to bring such characters back to life, providing their bodies are more-or-less intact. In general, it takes one "game day" to heal one health level; however, a cleric may magically heal a character (challenge level determined by extent of injury: d6 for battered, d8 for bloodied, d10 for beaten, d12 for broken); no cleric may heal the same character more than once per game session, except by expending a feature.
• Enchanted items provide extra features to the PC that owns it and (possibly) extra "automatic" abilities not otherwise available. Permanent magic items (weapons, armor, etc.) last from session to session; temporary items (potions, scrolls, etc.) are removed from the character sheet after use.

For example: a potion of healing could be expended to automatically increase a wounded character's health one step. A potion of flying could be expended to allow the character to "fly around the village like a great eagle." Magic armor could be used to automatically succeed in a combat ('the orc can't penetrate its enchantment!'). A rod of resurrection could bring a single character back to life, once per session.

• All enchanted items of a permanent nature must be attuned to a character to be used. A character may attune a maximum number of permanent magic items equal to its level of experience; each item attuned to a character should be of a different type (no more than one sword, or one suit of armor, for example).

STEP 3: CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT

Characters advance in level based on achievement of milestones. Milestones are determined by Dungeon Masters based on story consideration or (More Often) are already set based on pre-packaged storylines provided by The Company. 

Gaining a level entitles the character to attune more permanent magic items and provides ONE of the following benefits (player choice):

• Add an extra Bloodied health level (so the character would need to be "bloodied" multiple times befor becoming "beaten").
• Add an extra Go To Skill to the character sheet.
• Change the character's Background and/or Best Ability (based on the new background); for example, a PC that wishes to leave their "orphan" background behind to become a "guild master" might change their best ability from DEX to INT. A "soldier" who becomes a "nobleman" might change STR to CHA...or might not.

In addition, each character receives a "Special Benefit" upon achieving 3rd level, and another at 5th level; these benefits are determined by the character's basic class TYPE (priest, rogue, warrior, or wizard) as determined by the Dungeon Master:

• Priests: reduce challenge die when dealing with undead (3rd level), raise dead characters (5th level)
• Rogues: miraculously escape death/injury 1/game session (3rd level), automatically defeat opponent using guile 1/game session (5th level)...assassin types might reverse the order in which these benefits are granted
• Warriors: attack two opponents with single challenge (3rd level), attack three opponents with single challenge roll (5th level)
• Wizards: affect multiple opponents with single spell (3rd level), create permanent/lasting affects with magic spells (5th level)

6th level is the suggested maximum for all character types; mandatory retirement is expected for any character that has achieved seven milestones.

THE END. Adventures and additional "character option" books to be published soon!

; )