Showing posts with label mariners. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mariners. Show all posts

Sunday, October 19, 2025

Awake

2:20am. German time.

Cauldron is over. 

I just slept about 5 hours...a very long, very necessary nap (after my last couple days). As I lay on my hotel bed, typing this, I am sipping water and listening to the Mariners game on my phone ("Seattle Sports" app, for folks who are curious how to hear an M's game in Europe). Trying to relax and unwind the last few days, trying to compose my thoughts.

I am in an odd head space at the moment...not surprising given all the physical and mental stresses my body has been through lately. I have all sorts of "feels." Attending Cauldron for the second time was, for the most part, everything I could have imagined and hoped for. Leaving Cauldron, on the other hand, was bittersweet...not because I wasn't ready to go home, but because I wasn't ready to leave my friends.

No, not just friends. My tribe...my people.

I will talk about that in a later post (which I'll probably start directly after posting this...unless I decide to go back to sleep). But right now, I'm thinking about my other people: my family. My wife and my children. Waiting to get back to them is the hardest thing at this point; I want to be with them right now. Not because I am sad and need to be comforted or anything, but because I am ready for their warm embrace which I haven't felt in days...because I am ready to be back with them, in the "stuff" that are the ups and downs of our life; our highs and lows, the things we share as we live through the day-to-day.

Cauldron is much like that but on a "virtual" or imagined level. Save that thought for the moment, though...file it away.

My wife...I'm not worried about my wife. I know she's been as busy and taxed the last few days as anything...juggling the kids without my help...but she is an extremely tough and resourceful. Like me, she'll be just fine after a couple days of me being home and providing foot massages. The kids on the other hand...

Today was out playoff (soccer) game. It took place at 00:45am, Frankfurt time. It should have ended by 2am. I do not know the result...I am afraid to know the result. I did not want to open my phone because I didn't want to see the text alerts that might pop up...mercifully, there didn't seem to be any (yet). This could mean all sorts of things. Again, I'm trying not to think of it...I'm afraid to think about it. To imagine the possibilities.

Some people reading that might find that odd...that I have bigger fish to fry than the results of a 6th grader's soccer game. Especially a 6th grader who will STILL be playing soccer after this season ends (she is, after all, still playing for her club team and their season goes till March), and who will instead be turning her attention to the starting basketball season and the other activities she pursues. 

It's just a game, right? It's not curing cancer or anything.

No, it is everything. My time with my children is precious. Every minute they get older, I feel this more. Every shared moment, every shared victory (or defeat) or activity is special. Every hug and every snuggle from my children is golden. 

Coaching my children has been the delight of my life. That my son is now 14 and in high school and I will never coach a team of his again is an immense, melancholy feeling for me. Not just because we had such wonderful successes and such exciting, fun times, but because they were opportunities for us to do something together...do something that at the time was immensely important in the moment. And now, I have only one child left to coach...at most, five more seasons (assuming I coach her volleyball team) once this soccer season ends. And so, I don't want it to end...certainly not before I get home.

And I certainly don't want it to end in a loss and a defeat with me not there. With me, not on the sidelines. With me, not with the team. Diego is coaching the team without me (which has ALSO been a delight) and for him to have to go through a loss, on his own, have to do the coach's job of comforting a team just bounced from the playoffs, on his own, and knowing how he is, how hard he will take it, how hard THEY will take it...and not being there for them, not being there with them...

It's heartbreaking to contemplate.

I've been through it before, multiple times with Diego's teams (I've never coached a team that didn't reach the playoffs)...I know how it is, I know the drill, I know how to "spin" things so the players understand the positives and the pride they need to have and integrate the experience into their psyches as something both meaningful and positive, even if its both sad and hard. But this is Sofia's first time. And Diego's first time in a position of responsibility (being a coach...even an assistant coach...carries a lot more weight on the shoulders than just being a team captain). I wish I was there. I do...I really do. 

Mariners are down 4-0 in the game, which is not doing anything to lift my mood. I hate having to wait...patience is not and has never been my forte. I am stubborn as hell (my wife says I'm the stubbornest man she's ever known and, knowing her father, that's a hell of a statement)...but sticking things out because of stubbornness, is NOT the same thing as being able to wait patiently. But I have no other option. What I really want is a damn meal: there were few restaurants open for dinner in Frankfurt on a Sunday evening, and I didn't want Indian or Chinese food. I ended up grabbing a sandwich from a little place with the amusing name of "Hello, Jerry;" it was actually quite delicious, but I'd still have preferred a sit-down meal with some steamed vegetables. Just thinking about another 13 hour plane ride (and the airplane "food") is enough to make me shudder.

*sigh*

All right, that's enough for this post. It's 3:18am (6:18pm in Seattle...time for dinner!). Despite the brief thought of trying to keep my brain/body on "Seattle time," that would mean laying down to sleep no later than 9/10am...and checkout time is noon. Eh. This is the price you pay for the magical ability of crossing half the globe in a day. We live in amazing times.

[you see how I'm trying to change the subject in my own mind? I'm still not checking my phone]

Logan Gilbert gets out of the 4th inning, and the M's have five left to get back in this game. Still have about half a liter of water left...though despite the hydration, I am woefully dry. Maybe I'll take another shower...but, then, I'd have to take off my Cal Raleigh t-shirt. Decisions, decisions. 

This is how it is when you're alone and awake on the far side of the world from your home.

Uh, oh. My phone just rang with a notification from Diego (3:24am). 

Should I read it? Should I? Face my fear? Isn't that what being "brave" is? Not letting your fear stop you? That's what I'm always telling my kids after all. Am I a "brave" man? 

*sigh*

[drink of water]

Okay, I looked. The notification was an auto-notification: Diego asking permission to download the Major League Baseball app for his phone. Jesus H. So, no word on the soccer game results. I could check the league web site, but I want them to give me the news, one way or the other. Perhaps they think I'm still sleeping.

If only.

Wednesday, October 15, 2025

The Day Before The Day Before

Tomorrow I'll be winging my way to Germany...again. 12 hours and 15 minutes from gate to gate, then a 90 minute drive from the airport to the venue. That's nearly 14 hours of travel to cross the more than 5,000 miles from my house, just to play some AD&D.

Having done this once already, I know it's worth the trouble.

So, before, embarking on a long, physically taxing journey across multiple time zones, to enjoy a long, mentally taxing weekend in which I run no less than five different adventure scenarios, I'm trying to relax and unwind a bit doing the non-stressful thing of living and dying on every pitch of Game 3 of the Seattle Mariners' American League Champion Series.

Yeah. Glutton for punishment.

But what are you going to do? It's the perfect conflation of circumstances. I mean, my daughter's soccer team (which I coach) has both their final game of the season on Saturday AND their first playoff game on Sunday. Yes, we made the playoffs despite a broken arm sidelining our best player the last three weeks, the conspicuous multiple absences of our club players, and our best goalie's family having a four week road trip scheduled during the second half of October (no, she won't be back for the playoffs)...did I mention her dad is my assistant coach? Well, it can't be helped. We're 5-1 and regardless of what happens Saturday, we'll be playing the next day, and I will still be in Europe. My other assistant coach...my son, Diego...will be taking the reins while I'm gone. If they get through Sunday, I'm be back in time for the semifinal. 

[Mariners are currently down 6-2 in the 4th inning. Crap]

I am a ball of stress. Packing has been a bitch. What to take, what to not. I'm checking a bag...something I haven't done in literal YEARS. Can't be helped...I'm traveling with booze. My backpack will have the bulk of what I need: laptop, hardbacks, and the adventures I'm running. Dice...need to remember to pack those. No, I'm not done packing. Until this afternoon, I was still putting the finishing touches on one of the adventures (specifically, I was hand-inking the map). Hey, some of the con attendees have been speed-painting whole armies for Chainmail the last week...I have nothing to complain about.

[hold my keyboard...I've got to go cook some meatballs]

[later]

Well, the Mariners got destroyed 13-4...on the bright side, the meatballs turned out great (as did dinner in general). ALSO...having the game basically over by the 3rd inning actually made the entire event pretty much "stress free" (unlike last Friday's 15-inning, winner-take-all playoff game). Sooo...mission accomplished. I'm relaxed.

[the wine helped]

I'm still not finished packing, but I don't have to grab an uber till 1pm tomorrow (or thereabouts). *sigh*  Procrastinating. I feel like I'm forgetting something...or I'm failing to do some sort of vital prep work for this trip. Or something.

I don't know. I guess I'm...nervous? Really? 

Yeah. Maybe. I haven't been sleeping well of late (meaning the insomnia's been worse than usual). I just want to get through this...no, scratch that...I just want to enjoy this con, get back to Seattle, and finish the soccer season.  I just want to do THAT.

And then I can move on to the next thing on my list.

Because it's been a grind lately. I haven't been writing my book...THE book...of late. Because I had so much on my plate, prepping for the convention. Prep work that's been delayed because of legal woes and the busy-ness of a kid in high school and another kid in middle school and All The Things. Glorious things, every one of them (well, except for the court stuff). But things that will mercifully settle down after NEXT Saturday. 

I'm not even worried about Halloween shenanigans this year. The wife and daughter got the house decorated without me and we're taking it casual with costumes.

One more night...it's night time as I finish this missive...one more night and then one more morning and then an Uber ride to SeaTac and then a long flight, and then beer and pork and gaming with odd-shaped dice. The fantasy; the dream. Would that I could do it every six months instead of every two years. But it would probably kill me. Probably. Hard to say.

*sigh*

I'm starting to sound maudlin (the readers hate that). I had ONE glass of red wine. Okay, maybe two (call it 1.5). But I'm out of the habit. I haven't been drinking wine lately...really haven't had much at all since the first week of...what? July? Yeah. Back in Orcas. I've been cutting back. Waaay back. Had a beer a couple days ago...that was my first in a week or two. Yeah, I've cut way back. Been too busy. Still too busy. But I was cooking this evening and trying to relax at the same time. Happens.

*sigh* I'm procrastinating. Putting off what I should be doing until the last possible minute so that I can go into a fight or flight frenzy of activity and get stuff done. It's done. I just feel like it's not. I feel like I'm missing something. I feel...unsettled. Like this isn't real. I'm not really going to Germany tomorrow, am I? Really? That's someone else's life. I'm supposed to be making lunches and driving kids to piano practice (well, piano practice is actually Tuesday...after the guitar lesson. And I will be making lunches tomorrow, in the morning). Yeah. It's me. Both those things are me.

You live long enough your life becomes a kaleidoscope of disparate activities, blending together. Your identity isn't defined by labels like "profession" or "vocation" or "culture" or "nationality." Instead, it's defined by your deeds...by your actions. By what you do. I do a LOT of different things.

But right now, I'm defining myself by my inactions. Time to get off my ass and finish organize my gear for tomorrow. Plus, I've got to make sure the kid's got his light turned out. My passport is good for another three years; that's one less thing to worry about. Now I just need to decide which of my DMGs I'm going to take with me. Probably NOT the first printing...maybe my copy with the Easley cover. I don't know. I have four or five to choose from. 

All right. That's enough. I've got a long day ahead of me tomorrow, and I have stuff to do before I sleep.

Wednesday, April 9, 2025

"Dear JB" Mailbag #24


Dear JB:

Don’t get me wrong I enjoy everything around the hobby (designing a character, writing a backstory, etc.) but for some reason when I’m at a table and it’s my character’s turn to do something I just freeze. I just can’t bring myself to think of anything my character would do until long after the session’s finished.

I joined a campaign a few months ago and the campaign’s been going pretty well but every time the dm looks at me I don’t have anything to say. I’m basically just watching the others play together at this point. I keep running into this issue and I can’t help but feel like I’m ruining the game.

This isn’t the first time it’s happened either. I had a campaign that I was playing over discord and I had the same issue.

The few times I did enjoy dnd were at new player tables where the environment was more relaxed and it wasn’t so rp heavy. It’s hard for me to keep up with more advanced players who come in with their min maxed builds that kill everything in one shot.

I want to hang out with this crowd and other dnd players but I think I’m just not cut out for a hobby that’s so improv-heavy.


I Think I'm Just Bad At DND


Dear BAD:

I was born, raised, and continue to live in Seattle, Washington. As such, when it comes to the MLB the team I pull for is the Seattle Mariners. Which is pathetic, because they have a long and continuing history of frustrating failure...the only MLB team to never make a World Series, let alone win one.

And because I refuse to give dollar one to an ownership group who (despite being reported as one of the most profitable teams in MLB) refuse to pay money to sign good players (in a non-salary cap sport)...essentially 'voting with my wallet'...I can't even WATCH the games at home, because I won't pay for a subscription to the team owned channel that carries the games. So in order to follow the games, I tune in to Chris Crawford's My Oh Why YT channel. Crawford (a minor league scout, sports writer, and lifelong M's fan) recaps every single game, win or lose, with the straight scoop, and his passion, humor, and honesty makes the following of this frustrating team somewhat bearable.  And after last night's 12th inning 2-1 loss in which our starting pitching gave up no earned runs and the team went 1 for 19 with runners in scoring position (and 19 strikeouts overall to a mid pitching squad), he chose to discuss how he first fell in love with the team in the mid-90s and how, despite the frustrations with the 1997 team, they were still fun to watch and how he would prefer to watch fun baseball that fails over bad baseball that enjoys mediocre success. Watching last night's game made him nostalgic for the times when the team played in a way that won people over, instead of a way that pushed them into frustration and apathy.

Reading your email, I have profound empathy for Crawford's position. 

I will continue to assert that playing D&D is NOT acting, even if you happen to see professional actors playing D&D around a game table. I trained as an actor (that's what I was doing in the mid-90s, instead of watching the Mariners). I was a good actor. Reviews of my work stated "While others on the stage were merely 'acting,' he was the only person to put on a genuine performance such that I believed he actually was the character." Why I didn't become a professional actor is a short and (ultimately) silly story, but I regret nothing...my life is wonderful.

Acting is hard work, and every actor ALWAYS has some modicum of fear before stepping onto the stage to give a performance. However, there are three things that carry you through the trepidation and steel your will:
  • the camaraderie of your fellow actors
  • the lines you've worked so hard to memorize and rehearse
  • the mental craft you've used to help you understand and embody your character
Truth be told, for me that third bit was the part I was best at and which I leaned on the most. Memorizing lines was a necessary chore (and my least favorite part of the process), but I was never one to need my fellow actors to "give" me anything on stage. I simply became the character, with my own motivations...they would play off me

I was a good actor. But I was NOT good (certainly not as good) at improvisation.

Improv actors...the good ones anyway...are a different breed. They are quick-witted, sure, but more than anything they are mercurial...they can easily shift on a dime to the needs of the story being told. It takes a certain type of headspace to play off-book well, to be able to adjust in a way that does use the give-and-take of your fellow actors on-stage. You have to listen to what they're saying, synthesize it through the filter of the character you're playing, and respond in an appropriate fashion. It's difficult to do well...most of the time, it comes off pretty hammy (which is why you see most improv troupes working comedy routines like Theater Sports...they're all big hams looking to milk laughs from the audience). I would argue that serious improv has a very small appeal...it's one of the reasons the LARP community is pretty small in comparison to the rest of the RPG hobby. Back when I ran a lot of Vampire the Masquerade (in the early '90s), I would play NPCs as if I was acting in character (i.e. improvising)...it tended to make my players exceptionally uncomfortable. I eventually stopped doing more than using the occasional pseudo-accent.

BAD, you are not "bad at D&D." You are simply uncomfortable doing improvisational acting. Designing a character, creating a backstory...these are things that ANY person with an imagination can do. We've all read books (even if only forced to do so in school). We've all seen movies and TV shows. We've all fantasized of living a different life...probably one in which we had superhuman abilities or magical powers. Thinking up a character and considering how they got from "birth" to "present" (i.e. the backstory) is a simple matter of letting our mind wander in a directed fashion.

But there is a vast difference between thinking and acting...and especially a difference between thinking and performing

Your problem, BAD, is NOT that you're "bad at D&D." Your problem is that you live in a day and age where the predominant thinking about the POINT of D&D is pretty fucked up.

You, BAD, want to play a game in which you can escape from the humdrum and/or stress of your daily life in a world of fantasy and adventure. And you want to do so with other, likeminded people who ALSO want to experience a world of fantasy and adventure. In such an imaginary world, you require an imaginary character to act as a vehicle...and you've said you like designing characters (and seem to know how to do it). From where I'm sitting, you have all the tools you need to play D&D...actual D&D, the game D&D...in a competent fashion.

Unfortunately, your Dungeon Master is an idiot child.

I run tables with experienced gamers and with rank novices...often at the same time. I can do this because I run the game as a game. I'm okay with players "talking in character," but it's certainly not necessary...and generally there's not a lot of time for "role-playing" (as you use the term) because the players' attention is focused on the situation at hand, NOT the drama (or potential drama) that comes from improvising personalities around the table. And...so far as I've been told by my players...no one has ever felt inadequate in their ability to contribute. EVERYone is contributing...even if they're just taking hits that might have done damage to a fellow PC. Everyone in the party is giving something. And everyone is having fun.

There was a time, BAD...maybe 30 years ago, maybe less, maybe more...there was a time, when I wouldn't have needed to write all this out. There was a time when this was obvious...when people sat down to play D&D, and everyone understood the point of play. And for some people, it wasn't their cup of tea, sure...not every person loves playing every game. I stopped playing baseball at age 10...it doesn't mean I don't understand what the game is about or how it's meant to be played. 

But now...NOW...I look at D&D the same as I look at the Mariners. And there are plenty of people still willing to shell out money to get in the door of a luxury ballpark, so they can stand around in the beer garden on a sunny day, kabitzing with friends, hitting on members of the opposite sex, and having only a passing interest in the product on the field...the bad product on the field. They're not there for the game of baseball. If they were, they'd be outraged...and they'd take their wallets somewhere else. And maybe then the ownership group would do something about the product they're pedaling, even if meant selling the team to someone that cares about more than profits.

From last night's game...


D&D should be an enjoyable experience for people who are interested in playing a game of fantastic fantasy adventure. It should be fun for people who enjoy imagining themselves doing dangerous and heroic deeds as an escape from the daily grind. It should be a game that appeals to and is accessible by a broad range of people of all ages, ethnicities, races, genders, religions, etc....so long as they're people that enjoy a good yarn about sword-swinging action, magic, dragons, etc.

BAD, I tell you with all sincerity: you are not the person who's "bad at D&D." And I'm sorry that you've had multiple experiences where you felt you were: there's a lot of ignorance out there. Don't allow yourself to be gaslit.

Sincerely,
JB

Wednesday, September 29, 2021

Justification

Yesterday, the Seattle Mariners won again and got within half a game of a playoff spot...a playoff spot that has eluded them for two decades. They are currently vying for one of two open "wild card" spots along with Toronto, Boston, and the Yankees. Those teams have respective run differentials of +167, +72, and +49, a number that means how many more runs have they scored over their opponents for the season. The Mariners? Their run differential is -50. Throw out Monday's 14-4 win over Oakland and they'd be -60. Generally speaking, they haven't won games by blowing out other teams...the M's don't have the Big Bat offense other teams have, and their starting pitchers have been UGly. They've just been a scrappy, never-say-die team that's managed to gut out a bunch of 1 and 2 run games with clutch hitting, lights out bullpen, good defense, and inexplicable lucky breaks.

It's ridiculous. I'm still wearing my Mariners ball cap, and with four games to go in the season. Still not quite buying in...but I am watching. The kids and stayed up way past bedtime last night.

The school soccer team I'm coaching is struggling. We've been blown out and blown out and blown out, and unlike the M's, we don't get a 162 game schedule. Although we are playing in the 5th grade boys league, almost half our team are 4th graders. Only five of our 15 players have played together. Only a couple kids played any type of soccer last year (when the schools were closed for the pandemic), and for several kids this is their first time EVER playing soccer. Every team we've played against has been bigger, stronger, and faster than us...many have had multiple kids known to play on "select" or "premier" teams. 

This weekend, our best player (my son) has a schedule conflict: his premier team is playing at the same time on the east side of the water. While my plan was to have him go to that while I coach the school team, he has asked if he can skip his premier game in order to play with our band of misfits. See, he's scrappy, too. And even as he gets frustrated with the school's team to execute even simple concepts (he refers to them as a "dumpster fire"), even though there's less than half a dozen kids on our team that he's even known, and only three that he'd really call "friends"...he feels a duty, a responsibility to helping them out. He knows what he means to their team and he doesn't want to give up on them, let them down, pick your pithy phrase to reflect "loyalty" and an unwillingness to quit.

The other day, Havard was reflecting on the "edition wars," the pointlessness of...and the wasted time spent...bashing other folk's preferred versions of the Dungeons & Dragons game. In his view, those who engaged in such grumpy bickering should look at their actions with embarrassment. Instead of "focusing on the negativity and the things that divide us," Havard urges us to...um...have fun experiences together? Remember that "we have a hobby that we love?" Something?

I guess he's not urging us to do anything except to NOT be negative. To be open-minded about other's preferred editions and welcoming to their preferred style of play. And (if I'm inferring correctly) to be glad and grateful that this is growing the hobby (i.e. getting more players into it).

So, okay...I have a different take on the "edition wars" from Havard.  For one thing, if it is (or ever was) a "war" it's one that my side LOST a long, long time ago. Circa 1986. The "war," if one would call it that, was over about the time Lorraine Williams took over TSR and changed its focus from creating games to publishing books. When 2nd edition AD&D was published in 1989, replacing Gygax's byline with Zeb Cook's, the war was officially, completely lost.

Folks like me have just been fighting guerrilla actions since then. 

My bitching-and-moaning about new style players and my criticisms of 2nd or 3rd or 4th or 5th edition D&D isn't a "war." Really. It is an attempt to keep alive an older style of the game that some folks might prefer to be relegated to the trash bin. Because it's one thing to say:
Hey, there are older editions of D&D and, here, you can buy copies of it on eBay, or PDFs from DriveThru and isn't that an interesting curiosity / piece of history? You can really see the war gaming roots and how funny, strange that style of play once was (not to mention how misogynistic, racist, and unenlightened the gaming community might have once been)....
And it's quite another thing to say:
Hey, there was this game that was new in the 1970s that blew people's minds and that was really fun to play, so much that it grew into a phenomenon that had profound effects on games and culture, and while it changed substantially some fifteen years after it's creation, maybe there's something to its original game play that's still fun and profound and exciting and worth playing, not just watching as a live-streamed "show."
See, I'm scrappy, too. And while I'm smart enough to know the "war" has been lost and times have changed, and more people would rather be shown or informed by others than take the time to educate themselves (by reading books, for example)...while I'm smart enough to see "times have changed" I'm stubborn enough and squeaky enough to keep shouting "hey, but don't forget..." 

And sometimes I say (or write) things in an incendiary way in order to get forgetful folks' attention.

Last week I wrote a post that declared there is only one, true edition of Dungeons & Dragons, and that the particular edition in question was Advanced Dungeons & Dragons, the first edition, penned/compiled by Mr. Gary Gygax. This...predictably...ruffled feathers, but as the point of my post wasn't about justifying the position, I didn't take the time to elaborate on my statement. 

Here, then, is the elaborate justification; we'll try to take this in order:

OD&D (the original Little Brown Books) was a proto-version of Dungeons & Dragons. It is not and was not "complete," crystalized, or a fully formed vision of game design. Its own creators (Gygax and Arneson) did not agree on how it was to be played, and had wildly divergent styles. Until it ceased being published, it was in a constant state of evolution, each new supplement adding or changing the original rules. Other gamers ended up creating their own versions and variant designs: Warlock, Arduin, Tunnels & Trolls, etc. It is amorphous. It is imaginative. It is wonderful...but it is not a single, concrete game. It cannot function without addition. AS A GAME (not "as a concept" or "in spirit") it is not "true;" in many ways, the LBBs themselves were supplementary material for the Chainmail rules that only (later) evolved into a distinct form of play.

Basic (Holmes edition) D&D was designed to be introductory, specifically introductory, to the game of Dungeons & Dragons, and is thus far from complete. It draws parts from OD&D, the first supplement, The Strategic Review, Chainmail, and the Warlock variant. Its rules diverge from the AD&D game it was written to introduce and is not compatible with that, nor with "official" OD&D rules.

Advanced Dungeons & Dragons (first edition): this is the TRUE version of D&D. It took what had come before then adjusted, edited, and codified it into a singular vision of game play with rules covering every anticipated potentiality of game play. Note: not "every potentiality," just what was judged as being part of the scope of game play. Folks interested in "coloring outside the lines" would certainly be allowed to do so (outside of official, sanctioned tournament play), but were adjudged to be be playing something other than "standard" (i.e. "true") Dungeons & Dragons.

B/X(Moldvay/Cook/Marsh) D&D: another introductory game; it is a streamlined version of OD&D + Supplement I that leaves out some of the stickier complexities (race/class separation, weapon adjustments, AD&D ability score modifiers, 9-point alignment) in favor of simplicity. The best introduction to "true" D&D and nearly fully compatible with AD&D...so much so that many folks in the 1980s were able to combine the two editions into a single mishmash with varied results. It sacrifices complexity and nuance for accessibility and ease of play.

BECMI (Mentzer) D&D: yet another revision of the introductory game; not only was it written for an even younger audience (complete with solo tutorial adventures), but it was written in such a way as to NOT include monsters, spells, and content specifically designed/developed for Advanced D&D. It became its own separate line of play, though again designed for simplicity, lacking the complexity, nuance, and interlocking of systems found in AD&D. While it is designed as a "complete" line (taking player characters from level 1 all the way to immortality through discreet rule systems) it deviates far from the singular vision found in "true" version of the game. Played straight, BECMI D&D does not call to mind the fantasy literature or pulp fiction that inspired the original game; instead, every player is on a quest for legendary power and (eventual) godhood. It is staid and mechanical, less organic, and in an effort to be more "family friendly" (or less controversial) has lost some of its original character...and thus some of its potential game play. The original game may have accounted good stronger than evil, but evil (as a player choice) was still a possibility. That possibility was all but excised in the presentation of BECMI.

In terms of the Seven Elements identified for "true" D&D game play, it begins to fail on both the "magic is limited" and "economy is present" scale. BECMI D&D lacks the various checks-and-balances for both magic and wealth found in AD&D; as a consequence, long-term game play turns into something very different from "true" D&D (see the Principalities of Glantri and Thyatis/Alphatia gazetteers for examples). 

[just like to note that I spent a couple hours yesterday combing through some 100+ pages of Frank Mentzer interview notes to find his own preferred version of play. As of the early 2000s he was still running his home game with what he referred to as AD&D 1.5 (AD&D + the Unearthed Arcana) in combination with his own Immortal set rules. His reasons for including the UA was fairly simple: he'd compiled and edited much of the work himself and was quite satisfied with its usability in terms of the D&D game. He also did not favor the totally "humanocentric" vision that Gygax did, and so liked the extra power given to demihumans in the UA]

Second Edition Advanced Dungeons & Dragons: while mechanically very similar to 1E, it lacks the original vision of the "true" game's designer (evidenced by many stylistic changes) and begins to fall down in both the "economy is present" and (mainly) the "cooperation is necessary" categories; the latter because the default reward (advancement) system of 2E has the character classes pursuing disparate goals from one another. The shift in tone for supplementary material (especially "module" adventures) starts to break the elements of "PCs are heroic" and "the Universe does care" as more and more railroad-y or excessively moralizing texts are published, forcing PCs into certain avenues of play.

Third Edition Dungeons & Dragons: moves farther from the game as originally designed, overemphasizing "violence is inherent" (through its reward system), breaking "cooperation is necessary" (by de-emphasizing asymmetry), and paying only lip service to "economy is present" with rule stipulated treasure/monetary amounts at every level for both PCs and NPCs. On the adventure front, more of the same trends as from the mid-1980s (see 2E above).

Fourth Edition Dungeons & Dragons: extreme over emphasis of "violence is inherent" coupled with extreme DE-emphasis of "magic is limited" and "economy is present." Interestingly, there is a return/resurgence of "cooperation is necessary" but NOT via asymmetry so much as specific "adventure roles" needing to be filled for successful endeavors...still this is more of an aside, and adventures can certainly be written for specific groups lacking particular role characters. The same issue with published adventures continue.

Fifth Edition Dungeons & Dragons: extreme de-emphasis of ALL elements EXCEPT "PCs are heroic" and a warped/twisted version of "the Universe does care" which does its best to coddle the players rather than challenge them in any meaningful form. Even the idea of "D&D is a game" (element #1) is de-emphasized, as the idea that D&D is an amusing pastime, performance/show, becomes ascendant and character advancement is no longer tied to character's pursuit of specific objectives but is instead linked to how well the players perform the story being told. The singular vision that once guided the GAME of Dungeons & Dragons has been cast aside for a "do anything you like" attitude...objectives of play, mechanics and rules, all are meant to be changed and discarded as whim (and "fun") dictates. The term "D&D" doesn't refer to a specific game but, rather, a particular brand/IP that has been purchased...ostensibly to be "played," but what that play looks like will vary from table to table.

"Sixth" Edition Dungeons & Dragons: are you serious?

Harsh, harsh words, Old Man (actually, I'm trying NOT to be harsh in this post but, whatever...). JB, you're telling folks there's only one way to have D&D fun, and if it's not the same way as yours, then they totally suck. 

No, I'm not.

At least up until 1985 or so (i.e. about when the "war" was lost), the D&D game still had a uniting, singular vision that people could fall back on REGARDLESS of the rule set that was being used at the table. That vision, clumsily stated in the original Advanced D&D game allowed all players, regardless of system, to get on the same page when it came to the question of "what is (D&D) game play all about?" Some folks didn't like the answer to that question, and handled their dislike in different ways (drifting the system, changing games, quitting the hobby, whatever). Some folks just took a break for ten or twenty or thirty years, either because they either A) didn't see the potential promise of game play or B) didn't feel the effort needed to reach that potential was justified, and they could get their "kicks" somewhere else. 

[you can count me as one of the latter folks who first kicked AD&D to the curb in exchange for other games (a LOT of other games) and then spent a decade plumbing B/X and finding its depth (as designed! and well designed!) to be less than satisfying]

But that singular vision, incorporating those seven elements (to a lesser or greater degree) was a unifying force and you can SEE that in, for example, Prince's recent "No ArtPunk" adventure design contest: adventures were written for AD&D, B/X, BECMI, OD&D, retro-clones, ACKS, etc. but all finding a way to create interesting "dungeon" adventures suitable for their particular systems. Dungeon crawling by itself is NOT indicative of "true" D&D play, but it IS an important portion of the game aspect of D&D...and recent adventure offerings (both 5E and "OSR") seem to have very...mmm..."strange" ideas of what such design entails.

The point being: *sigh* yes, you're still playing "D&D" even if you're not playing AD&D. But if you want to play the game in its "highest expression," you have to start with AD&D. Other versions...especially pre-1985...have similar guiding spirit/principals and (more usually) recognizable tropes. But you can't play post-1985 editions of D&D as they are designed and written in the same way that the game was originally set down and codified.  Sure, you can take a late edition version and twist it or tweak it or drift it or whatever...you could also just run GURPS or write your own damn game.

OR...you could play the TRUEST version ever written and just spend your free time designing a fine campaign that is supported by the rules.

That, I guess, is my "scrappy" message. If you've never tried it and you find "old" D&D objectionable for some reason (it was written by white American men for white American men, or it exhibits too many colonialist sensibilities, or whatever)...I get it, I sympathize, I understand. Try giving it a chance. Try giving the crazy-ass rules a chance. If you're an "OSR" aficionado who prefers something lighter, rules-wise and are turned off by the opaque, clunky writings of Gygax...I get it, I sympathize, I understand. Try giving it a chance. Try reading it and parsing it and running it.

If you've run or played AD&D before, and just can't understand why anyone would still want to play the game based on that particular antiquated/clunky version of the rules anymore (or for WHATEVER reason)...I get it, I sympathize, I understand. I do! Really! But did you really give it your best shot? How long ago was it that you tried running it? How have you grown/changed since then? I know technology has changed a lot since the 1970s...the ability to create easy-to-use spreadsheets and play aids is incredibly simple. And it makes it O-so-easy to run the crunchy bits with just a little time and energy.

Maybe...try it one more time?

All right, that's all I have time for today. Have to go pick up the kids from their (club) soccer practice. Which they are doing in the pouring rain. Like troopers.

Go Mariners. Keep proving me wrong.
: )

Monday, September 13, 2021

Sports Stuff

I know I said I was going to write about D&D stuff, and I am, but there's just so much to write about that I'm not sure where I want to start...and I don't want to just barf a bunch of randomness all over a single blog post.

So to buy myself some time (to formulate my thoughts) and to get a little bit of a handle on the blogging, I'm going to write about some sporty stuff (mostly personal and/or Seattle-based). It will be fairly short, I think. Or not. Maybe.

First: the Mariners. I am not watching Mariners baseball right now, even though they're only 2 or 3 games out of a wild card spot and playing some fairly clutch ball (well, they were until they dropped 2 of 3 to a historically bad Diamondbacks team). I'm keeping track, but I just don't have time to sit down for three hours a game with very real probability of having my heart broken by a team that has disappointed for twenty years. Twenty years! You'd think they would have lucked into a playoff game in that time...you have to really try to be that poor/mediocre. I have been wearing my M's cap (to cover my bald head) because they are still over .500. But I have been in "show me" mode for the last few years, and that hasn't changed. Yes, I am a literal "fair weather fan:" I enjoy going to the park when the weather is sunny and beautiful (and when there isn't a pandemic). But I am not going to live and die by the ball club who's given so little as far as results are concerned. Not when there's so much else to watch.

[and, yes, I am all-but-convinced that the new ballpark was built on top of some ancient Salish burial ground and the team is cursed. Cursed! I say!]

What other things? Well how about the NFL? Hey, folks: there are D&D nerds...and there are football nerds. I, of course, am both. Fantasy football is just as nerdy and ridiculous as any tabletop gaming...(as my sporty buddies will freely admit)...it's just been better monetized. The last few years, I haven't played it, but this year I decided it was time to introduce my FAMILY to fantasy football. So we started a four-team league for just us: wife, kids, and me. They (the rest of my family) have never played fantasy football, so we've spent the last few days (I just started it up Thursday afternoon...on a whim) totally geeking out with drafts and trades and waiver wire pick-ups and roster moves. My 7-year old daughter has soccer practice tonight, but she's on the edge of her seat to see if Lamar Jackson (her QB) can get her 50+ points to pull out a win (good luck with that).

The Seahawks looked great, by the way. But then, their defense played against a woefully depleted Colts offense. And Chris Carson will be lucky to last the whole season with his running style (91 yards on the ground, 72 yards after contact!). Besides, they still need to win the west and ALL the NFC West teams looked good (49ers, Rams, and Cards dominated every game). Fortunately, we weren't bitten by many injuries. Cautiously optimistic for the season.

The Seattle Kraken drop the puck September 26th. NHL hockey, y'all. Still need to research what the hell "icing" is. It's been a few years since I last attended a T-birds game (like, since, the 20th century) and it was mostly about chanting for the fights.

And then there's soccer...glorious soccer.

The USMNT finally got a win in World Cup qualifiers, only after Berhalter deigned to replace the high profile European stars with MLS stand-outs. Funny how players who play IN their own country seem to have more fire, energy, and passion when it comes to playing FOR their country. Whatever. *sigh* 

[I will not rant I will not rant I will not rant I will not...]

Sounders got another win. That's great. Over projected-Most-Awesome-Minnesota-super-star team (again). Even better. And did it without the guys who've been playing on their international squads. Helped to have our #1 goalie back (finally) from his injury. Steph looked great. Should be a nice run-up to the season's finish. 

And then, of course, there were my own kids' games: the team I coached (boy's school team) was thoroughly overmatched and dominated on Saturday. The final score was 6-1, only because the other team stopped trying to score on us in the second half. The coach (me) turned out to be the guy with the most "rust;" I did not put my players in a position to succeed. And to be fair, half our "5th grade team" is made up of fourth graders (7 out of 16) and most of the team doesn't even know A) positions or B) their teammates' names. "You're going in for Lucas!" "Who's that?" "The guy playing midfield!" "What's a midfielder?" Ai-yi-yi. It was a rough outing; Diego ripped off his jersey in disgust at the end. 

We have a LOT of work to do this coming week.  

[D then proceeded to get beat 3-0 his premier game, though that was more bad luck (and some poor play from normally reliable players) than any kind of "domination"]

Finally, my daughter Sofia played her first club soccer game on Sunday, and I got to be amazed at just how much she's grown in skill over the last few weeks. Wow. They only had 6 players show up for a 7v7 game, and decided to play a man (*ahem* lady) down rather than forfeit against a team that brought 12. My daughter is one of two 7-year olds on a team that ranges up to age 9, and she tracked the entire field with, quite frankly, astonishing effort, energy, and determination. I completely underestimated the reserves of strength she has within her. They lost 4-0, but their goalie saved about 20, and Sofia's track back ability from a forward position (she often beat her own defenders) aided a lot of those saves.

I don't mention my daughter as much as my boy on this blog, for a couple reasons. One is the blog's main subject matter (gaming) which my son is far more invested in than my daughter. The second is so much of our (family's) time has been taken by my son's activities (he's older, so he does more). But while both my children have great depths to them, Sofia has (I think) far deeper, more mysterious depths. Her imagination, creativity, inventiveness, and humor are profound, and different from Diego's intellectual precision. Both children take after both their parents but Diego takes all the "surface stuff:" the fiery emotions, the competitiveness, the sharp mind and grasp of concepts. Sofia has all the hidden stuff: the fears, the darkness, the inner resolve, the secretiveness, the independence. Diego cares so much about his identity in the world and how others view him. Sofia cares about what she cares about...those things that matter to her, the rest of the world be damned!

[Hmm, I suppose they pretty much match their astrological signs...or I am viewing them through my "astrologer's lens" which is something I haven't done in a while. Interesting]

But, okay, that's enough of that...I am straying far afield from my topic of sports. It's just a lot on the mind these days: each of my kids play on two teams. One has practice five days per week (with games on the weekend); the other has practice three days per week (with games on the weekend). Even without the distraction of...well, everything...it's a lot to continually process and coordinate, mentally and physically. 

My dog is snoring on the couch next to me. Tough morning, huh, Chewb?

All right, things to do. Next post will be about gaming. I'll try to start writing it this afternoon.

Wednesday, August 11, 2021

Winning and Losing

The abuelos left town Monday night and as of yesterday are back, safe and sound (if a little sad) in Orizaba, my wife's hometown. We were able to "zoom" with them while watching the Sounders kick the heck out of Leon in in the inter-League cup quarterfinals. 

[no, we didn't end up watching game shows last night...nor did I grill. Cooked up a big old slab of corned beef brisket with garlic roasted red potatoes and asparagus on the side and a heaping helping of steamed green beans. Good stuff]

Sad as it is to see them gone, it means that a lot of our lives are back to normal (well, the "new normal"): less road trips, more cooking in, less visits to local breweries, more gaming. Blood Bowl is back on the table.

Literally. It's exploded all over my dining room table.

Last night featured the wood elves (Diego) versus the orks (me) in the first game of our "mini-BB World Cup." It was pretty tight and hard fought...my wife at one point called from the other room, "Take it easy on him!" My son and I just looked at each other and guffawed. 

"Mom, he can't take it easy on me...I'm winning!" However, the laughter was at even the suggestion that anyone would be 'going easy.'

Another dead elf is a
poor substitute for a TD.
Well, he did end up winning in the end...the wood elves' "prayers to their barky god" seemed to have been answered. But I gave it a good go. I got the tying touchdown in the last minutes of regulation to make the score 2-to-2. We decided to play overtime, and by the end of the match there were only three wood elves left on the pitch (two K.O.'d and seven outright casualties). Against the full might of my squad, he just managed to dislodge the ball from my ork blitzer just four squares from the end line, and in his last turn of the match, pulled off a desperate maneuver that would allow him to win the game on a Long Bomb throw to a standing wardancer in the opposite endzone. This required multiple dodges, multiple "go for it rolls," and an incredible pass-n-catch...all without re-rolls...with one turn left to succeed. Amazingly, the elves managed to get just about everything right.

Then they fumbled the pass.

So, overtime ended and the game was decided on "penalty kicks" (I'm not sure GW really understands how Gridiron football works), which in BB means both players roll a D6 and whoever scores higher gets the win. I rolled a 1; Diego rolled a 2. Absolute joyful pandemonium (on the part of my child) ensues.

I bring this up in light of yesterday's post on fudging dice rolls. Noisms had a good take on the subject today with regard to the difficulty people have being objective when it comes to things they care about: it's damn tough. I love my children: it gives me no joy to see them crestfallen and unhappy when results aren't as expected, not even if I'm winning (at their expense). And my son, especially, who becomes VERY emotionally invested and is generally hyper-competitive...well, he really wanted to "fudge" that last die roll to complete the pass. "Wait - I didn't roll right! Wait - the die hit the box at the wrong angle! Wait...!"

As such, we have pretty strict house rules regarding dice rolls in my home. All dice are rolled inside an empty box top; once they're rolled, it's done. Dice that bounce OUT of the box requires the whole result to be rerolled (even if one die lands IN the box). Once the dice come to a rest it's done. And only one set of dice are rolled at a time (with no other person's dice being allowed in the box during the roll). These firm strictures (which we use for ALL our games: D&D, Monopoly, Blood Bowl, etc.) are well understood and prevent any disagreements over dice results.

And it prevents me from fudging dice rolls in my kids' favor. Because I want them to win...I like watching them win. But you can't win all the time and losing, while hard, can be good for you. Not only can it help you learn and grow from your mistakes, but it is humbling, and most of us could use a bit more humility in our lives. It's also good preparation for future losses; we watched a LOT of Little League baseball the last couple months, and while the Spring season saw a lot of wins, the Summer ball had nothing BUT losses (the latter team was, frankly, terrible). And the All-Star tournament in-between? Ooo...that was a rough one.

Losing, of course, also helps one appreciate the wins more...hell, it even helps appreciate the ties more. D's summer ball team was so bad they didn't even get a tie till the final game (the game had to end because of the time), and man were those kids ecstatic!

I was reflecting on this a bit (duh), and I came to the idea that perhaps one key component that's missing for some folks (who might be proponents of "fudging") is quantity of play. After all, if you play a LOT of a particular game (any game) you'll see lots of wins and losses. If you roll lots of dice, you'll see plenty of "hot streaks" and "cold streaks." Last night I saw plenty of both in our game...my stupid-stupid troll continuously rolled "1s" for his stupid roll and did almost nothing the entire game...meanwhile, every time I landed a block with one of my blitzers, a wood elf would end up folding like a paper hat (landing that block was tough, though). 

[for the most part, though, my dice were pretty icy, and it was mainly elven attrition that kept me in the game]

When you're a Seattle baseball fan and you're used to the futility, it's far less aggravating (though still frustrating) to see the Mariners combust and burn out round about the end of the summer...you've seen it so many times, you're used to it. If you play B/X D&D regularly and you're inured to a random arrow wiping out your 1st level character, the sting just isn't there, and the rolling up of the new PC registers about the same as ordering a beer from the bar or opening another bag of potato chips. We can become accustomed to the whims of fate, the wins and the losses, if we Just Play More...and then the outcome of die results, the successes and failures, can be far less important than the play of the game itself.

This is what I've been trying to instill in my son this summer. I keep telling him how fortunate he is to even play baseball at all. Not only because of last year's pandemic wiping out the entire Little League season...no, I've been trying to instill in him the understanding that one day he won't even be able to play Little League at all. At some point he'll be too old. And even if he goes on to play in high school or college or professionally or whatever, there will come a day when even that will end. So enjoy it now. Enjoy every minute of it. Every chance to swing a bat or catch a pop fly or hang out in the dugout chewing gum and spitting and snarking with other ten year old kids. 

Yesterday, Diego's eyes got so lit up when we opened the Blood Bowl stuff. "Man I LOVE Blood Bowl!" he exclaimed...multiple times. And he does. Even when I was pounding his team into the dirt and prompting exclamations of "you suck" and "I hate this team" and whatever (in the moment) he still kept coming back to "I love this game." And he loved having the chance to play it again. Winning was just the cherry on top. 

And I know he feels much of the same about D&D and (other) role-playing games. 

I realize that much internet ink has been spilled over the debate of whether or not D&D (specifically) is "about telling stories." I know which side of that debate I'm on, and I also know that folks on the other side probably ain't going to be swayed much from their stance. So be it, yada-yada. For people on MY side, there should probably be no question as to the awfulness of fudging dice rolls ("cheating"), but I have to say that I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND the urge to do just that...to cheat the system, to get a result other than what is revealed through our oracular polyhedrons. Because we don't play enough. We don't get 162 games a year like a pro-baseball team does (I certainly don't!). We don't have so many swings of the bat that the sting of striking out has faded to a dull pain, easily brushed off with the hopeful "I'll get 'em next time...at least I get to play this sport!"

Maybe we just need to play more. With our family, with our friends, with our "community of gamers." Maybe we need to play enough and often enough that we (and those we play with) don't get hung up on the result of a particular roll of the dice. Because there will be more dice to roll...always...so long as we keep playing. And there's always the hopeful thought: I'll get 'em next time.

Okay. Time to go buy some coffee.

Sunday, May 16, 2021

Whimsy

Weird dreams this morning, right before waking: was watching "young people" (late teens, early twenties) live their lives in small towns. Places like you find in central and eastern Washington: Ritzville, Winthrope, Leavenworth, Cle Elum maybe. Having fun with each other but mainly complaining about where they lived and how they wanted to get out or get back (to college, presumably) to somewhere more interesting. "The deadest part of my week has been my time spent here, except for my shift" one girl complained to her friends as they worked the kitchen of some eatery...maybe a summer job, earning money off the city tourists traveling to Chelan (or wherever) to get away from their rat-race life.

I've never lived in a small town. I've visited them often enough, seen them in film (of course), had friends and relatives who lived in or were from small towns. I have no idea what it's really like (and, of course, each town is different) and my views are surely biased by the folks I've talked to who wanted to get away...obviously, small towns continue to exist and have (small) populations so SOME people enjoy living there. Other people were not made for (or meant for) the life into which they were born. My mother wasn't...she moved to "the big city" (Seattle) from Missoula when she was 18. Neither was my wife, who escaped via travel (as an exchange student) multiple times before she met me.

Me, I was meant for the town I live in. Oh, I don't always feel that way...there are plenty of times when I find Seattlites to be annoying as hell, and understand why some parts of the country hate our particular piece of the American pie. I get it, and I sometimes feel like a man out of place, even here. The concerns some folks have (which aren't real concerns) or their approach to concerns I share, or their attitude towards...oh, any number of things. Stupid, stupid Seattle. And, no, it's not just the transplants from other parts of the country (we've had a lot of those the last 30 years)...there was stupid here even since my youth. I've had a few good friends, living here, and they've been evenly divided between "natives" (like myself) and "newbies" (people who moved here less than 25 years ago). 

[if you're not a native, but have lived here more than 25 years, you're simply considered a "local"]

Thank goodness for the internet where I have been able to interact with many more like-minded people. I assume they're "like-minded" because the only thing I have access to IS their mind: their thoughts spilling out on pages and blog posts just as mine do. Sure, it's possible that some are lying or crazy or whatnot ("Mama, we ALL crayzee here") but most of what I read tends to have a good measure of "soul baring," making for a decent window into someone's brain. Beware the persons unwilling to discuss their personal connections to the material they're discussing!

One gamer dude blog I've been reading a lot of recently (the last year or three...tough to keep track of that kind o thing) has been Prince of Nothing over at Age of Dusk. I like Prince's writing, I enjoy his (rather dark) sense of humor, I appreciate (much of) his stance with regard to gaming. Based on several strong reviews, I picked up print copies of his adventures The Red Prophet Rises and The Palace of Unquiet Repose

Eh.

I am weary. I am old. I am curmudgeonly. Know This O Prince, and take what I have to say with a grain of salt: I will probably not be running these adventures

I understand that I am technically a part of "the OSR" or whatever, but these days that's about as meaningful as saying "I'm into tabletop role-playing games." The OSR is a very large pond...as is Dungeons & Dragons!...and I am but a single fish circling a particular piece of the shoreline (I won't carry the analogy any farther, because it will get weird). My type of "old school gaming" is different from what so many people are doing these days...it's just...*sigh* how to explain? How to explain in a way that's helpful? Helpful to those few fish swimming in my part of the pond?

About 20-some years ago, my buddy Kris, AKA "The Doctor" (he is not a doctor) gave me an adventure he penned (typed); it sits next to me as I type this. It's in a blue folder with those metal bendy thingys used to hold three-punched notebook paper. In small, black letters on the cover are the words Black Rock Island. The cover page calls it The Dungeon of Black Rock Island, and notes that it is: "an Adventure for 1st edition AD&D; 5-6 characters level 8-10." The first paragraph before launching into the adventure proper says:
BACKGROUND:
You have come to the city of Appleton, on the shores of the Sea of Serenity. You have come together in one way or another, be you long time friends or having just met somewhere along the paths that brought you all here. It is springtime and the time is ripe for adventure. This is good because the fair is in town this week. Fun and frolic for one and all. And just the place to get caught up in a tale you will all tell your grandchildren about some day...
The Doc was no great shakes as a writer. He was born and raised in Edmonds, just north of Shoreline (which used to be "unincorporated Seattle," back when I was growing up). He got through high school and spent his adult working life as a cook in various restaurants. He was a metalhead and a hell of a guitarist, but never did the "band thing" so far as I know (we would jam sometimes). He enjoyed smoking weed and drinking beer, drawing and painting. We shot a lot of pool together. In his mid-20s he "became" (was diagnosed) bi-polar manic-depressive after witnessing a traumatic event (someone being stabbed in a parking lot behind the restaurant he worked at). He got on medication, and then SSI, and soon became unable to work. He's bopped around a bit the last 20 years (living with various siblings and halfway homes since his parents died); the last time I saw him in person, he looked about 78 years old (he's two years older than me)...he'd lost all his teeth (had a hard time talking), his hands had some sort of palsy that prevented him from playing music or painting; overweight, bald, crooked posture, waiting to die.

I met the Doc circa 1997 and we gamed more than a few times together: usually AD&D, but also 2E a couple times, Vampire, Maelstrom (Story Engine), Top Secret, as well as my entire stint with 3E (we both became disgusted with it about the same time). I did some of my first "on-line" gaming with him (both PBEM and in chat rooms...no cameras back then). After he moved away from the area (too expensive) we still kept in touch (not gaming, though) until I moved to Paraguay, though I can reach him on Facebook (just messaged with him yesterday, in fact). Despite our vast differences as individuals, we are kindred spirits. Knowing him as I do, I think he might actually HATE the stuff Prince has written:
4. Rodeo
This area is 120 yards X 80 yards. It is completely fenced off and the center if filled with loose dirt. As you approach, you hear a man's voice calling out, "WIN 500 GOLD - RIDE THE WILD IGUANADON - WIN 500 GOLD!!!" At one end of the ring is indeed an iguanadon. It's mouth is roped shut and it's claws are covered with some kind of leather gloves. There is a small, crude saddle on its back and you can see even from this distance that it is stained with blood.
Kris's adventure design exhibits the "box text" style prevalent in 1980s D&D modules, but it is mercifully short in most places. Since he couldn't make actual boxes for the text, each entry uses black ink for the read aloud bit and follows with red ink for the stats and DM information. All encounter areas correspond to a number on the map. Here's an example (I'll use italics instead of red font):
9. Milo's Amazing Flying Machine
There is a small lineup of about 20 people waiting to board. A smiling Halfling, apparently Milo, waves people to come aboard. He shouts, "Come one, come all! Men, women, and children! Take a ride on my fantastic flying ship! Right this way now!"
If questioned about the function of the ship or where he came across it, Milo will tell the party it was passed down from his grandfather, Olnick Featherstram, who was a great sailor and explorer The ship was discovered on one of his many fantastic voyages. He's not sure how the enchantment works, but he does know how to sail it. If pressed further for details on the origin of the ship, Milo will simply say that, "It was a long time ago that my grandfather discovered this ship and I'm really not sure how it was that he came across it."
There's no excessive backstory for the adventure; a list of rumors can be heard if the PCs visit the food area of the fairgrounds. Most encounters help funnel the party to take a ride on the airship, which will be attacked by an evil wizard and his fire newt henchmen riding a giant flying whale. Assuming the party survives the attack, the ship will be forced to crash land on Black Rock Island, the abode of the said evil wizard (and his gnome assassin henchman!). The whole adventure is delightfully whimsical: magic statues ask riddles and spray poison if answered incorrectly. The gnome has a maze on dungeon level 2 that he likes to stalk PCs in (reminiscent of Enter the Dragon or Man with the Golden Gun). Xorns that demand silver. A dragon turtle on level three lives in a giant fishbowl, complete with miniature castle (answering the creature's riddle correctly allows party's to raise the portcullis and find the treasure inside...if they can breathe water). Down three long flights of stairs, in its own sub-level, a Type V demon waits in the middle of its large chamber, described as follows:
44a. Type V Demon
The walls and floor of this room are smeared with blood. And a crude pentagram has been drawn in blood, covering the floor. It is dimly illuminated by four candelabras, one in each corner of the room. There is a dark crevasse in the wall on the other side of the room. Suddenly, there is a flash and a Type V Demon appears in the center of the room. She attacks you on sight.
Type V Demon (AC -7/-5, move 12", HD 7+7, hp 62...
I love this entry. I love that it offers no information whatsoever why a Type V demon is here...players don't care anyway, they're just going to attack, so why bother (probably it was summoned by the wizard using a cacodaemon spell and HE still hasn't decided what to do with her). I love that the read aloud simply says "a Type V Demon appears;" this is an AD&D adventure written circa 2000 or 2001...everyone who's playing this knows what the hell a Type V demon is (and if not, you can show the players the MM illustration; the page number is listed in the monster's stat block). The PCs are supposed to be 8th to 10th level, after all. 

There's no treasure with the Type V demon...the crack in the wall leads to a small cave where the party will find the dismembered body of Appleton's mayor, Regis Fane Wellington III. But there IS treasure to be found in the dungeon: hundreds of thousands, squirreled away in various areas (and not a small amount of magical treasure, too) as befits an adventure for characters of the suggested level. 

No, it's not great "design" or high concept stuff. But it's both fun and dangerous. And rewarding, too, not just for looting (little x.p, bonuses abound, like the critically injured passengers of the crashed airship who will die off on a daily basis...the party can earn 1,000 x.p. for each one saved). It's an adventure that's written to be played in the style that Kris and I grew up playing. It's meant to be experienced as a game, in-play.

This sense of whimsy and playability isn't present in a lot of the newer OSR stuff...even the good stuff, the well-written stuff with an eye towards usability and design. Prince's stuff is plenty moody and evocative, but there's a lot of "awful" in it. Not awful writing or design, but just awfulness. His world is grim and perilous and dark and everything sucks and is awful and if the players are winning they're still probably losing because it feels like everything in this world is shitty and it's only a matter of time before you get stabbed in the back or robbed or lose your soul to some demonic purpose. That's not my kind of escapism...that kind of thing should potentially happen in the game, but it shouldn't be inevitable

Do folks grok me? I LIKE swords & sorcery of the darker variety...I just ordered two Elric hardcover graphic novels last week! I'm a fan of Karl Wagner's Kane. I read post-apocalyptic fiction which almost never has anything like a "happy" ending. But...dammit! Elric still searches for his happy ending, even if he continually makes incredibly poor choices, dooming himself...his destruction is caused by his own hubris, not some inevitability of doom and gloom! 

It's like folks can't get over the whole "killing monsters for money" thing. These people must all be assholes, living in an asshole world, because only assholes murder people and take their stuff. Yeah, that's true...IN REAL LIFE! It's like people keep forgetting this is a game with talking dragons and evil faeries (goblins) and shit. Oh, the humanity of our orcish brethren! Not to mention the grell lurking in the corner.

[Black Rock Island DOES have an encounter with a grell. It has no treasure]

Maybe this is part of why I keep coming back to Dragonlance. Dragonlance is stupid, pretentious (at times), poorly designed (for its game), and inconsistently written. But it still has whimsy to it (more so in the original novels)...it's not a true post-apocalyptic fantasy...it's "post-apocalypse lite." It's D&D...when the PCs meet some hobgoblins on the road, they talk to them before the (probably inevitable) bloodletting by the side of the road.  In the novel, the talking is nice and civilized; after the combat, the victorious PCs are fairly gleeful at the murders they've just committed. This kind of thing, for me, harkens back to an Alexander Dumas tale: the musketeers are all fine and dandy exchanging barbs and witticisms (i.e. communicating), and just as easy at dealing death (with nary a sign of remorse). It's adventure fiction. D&D is adventure fiction that you get to play. 

Game of Thrones isn't adventure fiction (it ain't historical fiction either); it's blood opera and sadness and awfulness. There's neither whimsy nor adventure nor fun to be found in the books I've read (I've only read the first couple). It doesn't work as D&D, though maybe it'd be okay as re-skinned fantasy melodrama like Pendragon. I wouldn't know because, in the end, it's not really my cup o tea for longterm play (nor that of my "kindred spirit" gamers). 

But I'm hopelessly obtuse; hopelessly behind the times. I've watched Big Trouble in Little China a couple dozen times over the years, and it was only yesterday (not watching it) that I thought about the fact that, hey! Those people they rescue from the bamboo cages when they're freeing Margot and have that fight when the ninja chicks on the bridge and whatnot? Most of those people were victims of human trafficking, destined to be involuntarily addicted to heroin and forced into prostitution! That's like incredibly creepy, shitty awful stuff, that I completely ignored in my mind for decades! As I said, I am hopelessly obtuse...but if my mind didn't once consider "who are these people the protagonists are breaking out of cages" it's because I was so caught up in the story being told by director...not one of oppression and slavery and humanity's awfulness towards each other, but gleeful adventure fiction. Delightfully whimsical. 

Anyway. This is what I've been thinking about since yesterday. Saturday was a delightful day: sunny and beautiful. Got to watch my kid's last soccer game in the morning (followed by a pizza party), then watched him play Little League ball in the afternoon (I love watching Little League...it's the Bad News Bears out there, every day, every team), before ordering pizza (again) for dinner. Couple cold beers to wash it down with followed by the Mariners clawing their way back to .500 (that's not going to last) and then early to bed (for me) to sleep off the second vaccination dose I got administered at 7:45am. I feel good today, even though I'm about out of coffee...but I'll make another pot as soon as I finish posting this. 

Whimsy. It ain't so bad one or two days a week. And how often per week do you get to play D&D?

Thursday, April 14, 2016

L is for Lance of Lancing

[over the course of the month of April, I shall be posting a topic for each letter of the alphabet, sequentially, for every day of the week except Sunday. Our topic this month? Magical weapons for a B/X campaign. All such weapons are +1 to attack and damage rolls unless, unless specifically noted otherwise. Each of these weapons should be considered unique items]

L is for Lance of Lancing.

This weapon is awesome. You should totally get one.

Sorry. I'm just really tired of doing these. Did you see Dae-Ho Lee's walk-off homer in the 10th inning yesterday to break the Mariner's five-game losing streak and record their first win at Safeco this season? It was great. I love that baseball players can look like any shlub on the barstool next to you, squeezed into an ill-fitting uniform, and still possess the hand-eye coordination to his at off-the-belt, 97mph fast ball, and just clock it straight into the cheap seats (where there were approximately a dozen fans). I watched this video half-a-dozen times which, after a train wreck of a game, is just a bit of much-needed catharsis...I mean...well, never mind. Living with the M's as your home team for forty years is an endurance test I wouldn't wish on any baseball fan. It's nice to see a little excitement in the team and the 62 fans that cared enough to show up for the game. Anyway, I can't actually watch games or anything, seeing as how Paraguay could give two shits about baseball, so highlight videos and (sloooow) running internet updates are about the only way I can suffer the season with other Seattle-ites.

I think I may be suffering from depression at the moment. That is, I may have been suffering from it for a while. Or something. My mind's not really in the blogging game. Yes, I still put out ridiculous, rambling posts, that are too long for folks to read, but...

Really, I just want to go away for a while.

I spent a lot of time reading old retrospective posts on Grognardia the last couple days. It's not a substitute for actual gaming. I spent a bunch of time reading my own posts the last couple days (1770 posted since 2009. Incredible). It's not a substitute for gaming. I considered purchasing and downloading a bunch of PDFs. Didn't...that's not a substitute for gaming either.

It's not the lack of gaming (or the lack of Mariners broadcasts, for that matter) that leads to depression. But even as I've written before that I have anxiety about the future, I've started to really, really dislike the present. This country...I keep finding myself thinking that I cannot wait till I can wipe my feet on the doormat of my final exit from this place. Over lunch today, my wife (who usually tells me I'm too negative...go figure), just unleashed a torrent on how much she hates this "upside-down land" (as she calls it). I just listened to her. When she first proposed the idea of us moving the family down here, I told her "sell me on Paraguay." She said, "they have great juices." I said, "anything else?" She said, "the people are really nice."

I think her opinions on both counts have changed since then.

And yet, this is The Happiest Country In The World. Though I'm not sure what they use as their criteria. Satisfaction with infrastructure can't be part of it. Incidence of child rape can't be part of the equation. Poverty level? Homelessness? Medical malpractice? There have been thousands of folks in downtown Asuncion protesting having to pay taxes the last two weeks (not an increase in taxes or an exorbitant tax rate...just the fact that they have to pay taxes at all)...they don't seem to be particularly happy.

Maybe the poll only reached people with land lines. They sure didn't ask me.

*sigh* I'm irritable again (one of the several signs of depression...I exhibit most if not all of them). I'm going to go eat some Indian food now. Spend some time with my family. Get away from the computer. I don't know if I'm going to keep doing this A-Z thing. I need a break.

Just...a break.