"Dear JB" Mailbag #45

Hey JB!

My kids (and a few friends) are starting a D&D session tonight. They’ve already made their character sheets. I’ve watched Critical Role, but I know a real 9–12 year old game is going to be way different.

I’m not the DM, but I’ll be in the room helping to moderate and keep things under control. The kids get super excited, and it’s a mixed group of boys and girls.

I’m looking for tips on:

• Keeping the energy from getting too wild
• Making sure everyone gets a turn and stays engaged
• Helping the DM without stepping on the story
• Any tricks for handling the chaos that comes with kids this age

Basically, I want the session to be fun, smooth, and memorable for everyone without me having to run the game. 

Thanks for any advice!

Mom, Looking For Advice For My Kid's DnD

Hey, Mom:

I run an AD&D game for my kids and their friends. I love D&D; I've been running D&D games for 40+ years. As a parent, a coach of youth sports, and an experienced DM, I have a pretty good handle on the nuance of the job, and the kids have a good time. They ask me to run the game for them. And I'm happy to oblige.

It sounds like you don't know much about D&D. You've watched Critical Role (um...NOT D&D). You're not planning on acting as DM and don't want to run the game. Given this, here is the best advice I can give you:

Leave the room. Shut the door. Let the kids play.

I got my first D&D set around the age of 9 and was DMing for myself and my friends by age 10. There were no parents; there was no adult supervision. We were Just Fine.

Was there "wild energy?" Yes. Was there "chaos?" Yes. Was it a "mixed group of boys and girls?" Yes.

Were we doing bong rips and swilling six-packs and sticking each other with sharp objects and getting each other pregnant and such? No. Were we worshipping Satan? No. Torturing small animals? Maybe...if you count my younger brother who insisted on playing. But he tortured us, too.

Look, I understand the helicopter parent thing. I'm the father of two. But I know D&D and you, ma'am, do not. Let me put it this way: when you were a kid, hanging out in the basement with your friends playing a board game, did you need a parent to moderate your play? To make sure you were all "engaged" and "taking turns?" At the age of 11 or 12? 

Because, if so, you had a really dysfunctional childhood. 

If your kids are OLD ENOUGH TO READ and UNDERSTAND the instructions, then they are old enough to play the game WITHOUT YOU. So let them play. You're not interested in playing...that's fine. I wouldn't have wanted my parents to play when I was a kid. My kids are different...but that's because I taught them how to play (at their request). 

Here's what's going to happen, Mom, while you're not in the room:

• The kids are going to be rowdy (because that's how kids are).
• The kids are going to police themselves with their own "kid social/group dynamic" (because that's what kids do)
• If they aren't having fun with the game, they'll stop trying to play after 20-40 minutes and they'll do something else...chase each other, shoot each other with Nerf guns, play a different, less complicated board game, go outside, etc.
• If they ARE having fun they'll sit around playing for a couple hours (maybe) before they get bored and decide to do something else...chase each other, shoot each other with Nerf guns, play a different, less complicated board game, go outside, etc.
• If you offer them snacks, they will eat them like non-conscious zombies. If you offer them real food they will tell you they're not hungry until you make them come to the table (at which point they'll eat like ravenous wolves).

If you want to do a good job, keep them hydrated.

But that's it...that's really all you need to do. If anyone starts bleeding, they'll come looking for you (as kids do). If anyone starts screaming in pain and distress, you'll hear it and can come a-running (as mom's do). This is no different from any other kid activity...and it's a lot less dangerous than most. I mean, a LOT less dangerous...kids can fall down and sprain their wrist or break their collar bone just playing in the backyard. As long as your children are smart enough not to stuff dice in their various orifices, they should be safe as can be.

So what's the issue, Mom? Your kids are the cruel, bullying type? Or their friends are? They've all decided to "nerd out" together playing D&D...how bad are you afraid they'll treat each other?

Let it go, Mom. Breathe deep breaths. Check your email. Read a book. Have a big ol' glass of wine while chopping some fresh veg and/or fruit to feed the youngsters some healthy snacks. Take a chill pill.

The kids are all right.

Sincerely,

JB

What Goes Around...

Forgot to mention I picked up a copy of Paranoia 2nd Edition the other day (not surprising really, as I'm sure there's a number of things I've forgotten/neglected to mention). $4 used...quite a steal really. This is the only edition of the game I've ever played and one I've never owned, though I remember it well, especially the great Jim Holloway illustrations.

When I played it before it was circa 1990...I was in high school and a member of the cast of my school production of Bye-Bye Birdie. One of my fellow cast members (an acquaintance though a "non-gamer" person) got the game and we played it back-stage while waiting for our time to "go on" (though only during the rehearsals...not the actual performances!). I recall all of us that played had a lot of fun and laughing a lot, though I don't recall my own particular character (we used the pre-gen ones from the rule book) nor any details of the plot/adventure scenario.

I've actually been wanting to get a copy of the game for some time, but was not interested in the updated rule systems I saw floating around the game shop. To me the 2nd edition is the "original," classic game and even researching the 1st edition on-line seems to indicate this is the feelings of others...apparently the 1st edition was released in a much darker, less humorous vein but with adventures that pushed the humor and satire. The second edition, published by the same company (West End Games) and the same designer simply made the game into what everyone was "already playing."

Not that it doesn't have great potential as a "straight" Orwellian/dystopian future type game...I don't think there's any game that could do that kind of genre as well as Paranoia (assuming you wanted to play out something like akin to Brazil or 12 Monkeys or whatever...even Equilibrium with a few modifications). But does anyone want to play that kind of depressing genre in an age where...well, all paranoia aside we HAVE taken some steps towards a constantly monitored society.

To me, I find it very interesting how art (specifically RPGs) imitate life and act as a "sign of the times." When first introduced to Paranoia, I immediately "got it:" the whole commie-mutant-traitor think, the turn-on-your-neighbor-to-get-ahead game play. Part of this is because it's a well-designed game pointing out huge, gaping flaws in human nature and exploiting them to their (extreme but logical) conclusions. Part of it has to do with the world I was living in at the time. I can't help but believe there was at least a tiny bit of subversiveness underlying the satire of a game like Paranoia being released in 1984 and (for the 2nd edition) in 1987.

[for those gamers that don't remember the 80s, having been born later, Ronald Reagan was a classic fear-monger when it came to Communists, helping to jump-start a Cold War by proliferating a nuclear arms race with the Soviet Union...this after a decade where we had backed-off a lot from the paranoia of earlier generations...hell, even Nixon opened the door to China...but whatever...oh, yeah American Consumerism was off the charts as well...O Yuppie Where Art Thou?]

I'm kind of surprised that there haven't been more subversive RPGs published in the last decade seeing all that's been going on in the world. Oh, I know there are a couple (3:16 comes to mind as do a couple of other Forge-y games), but none with the kind of popularity that Paranoia enjoyed in its hay-day. I'm sure part of this is because the RPG has fallen out of favor of the general population...why buy a game you have to read when you can press "on" and start playing immediately (yes yes I am a cranky old man).

But I don't think it's a lack of creativity on the part of game designers these days, just a lack of will to do so. If D20 is what sells, well shit, that's what one is going to write for, right? How many companies converted their games to the D20 system? How many licensed IPs got made into D20 games? How much time and energy was spent trying to shove out D20 material before the door to that particular cash cow could be closed? (wow a REALLY cranky old man!)

Probably I am just exhibiting my own paranoia...spending time reading games like this (ones that are more substance than crunchy rules bits that need mastering) always starts those wheels turning, ya' know? It is quite a good little game, though, and I'm glad I was able to pick it up for such a good price. I'll bet my nephews would get a kick out of it...though of course I'll have to update it by changing the word "Communist" into "Terrorist." Otherwise, they probably won't get the humor.