So, Do You Like ... Stuff?

Subject: THE TRUTH ABOUT YOUR FUNDS. Finally. I am Rev. Tody Anderson. a computer scientist working with central bank of Nigeria. I just started work with C.B.N. and I came across your file which was marked X and your released disk painted RED, I took time to study it and found out that you have paid VIRTUALLY all fees but the fund was not released to you. You may or may not recall that I’ve been down the CBN/red disk road before , courtesy of our good friend, Miss. Faith Okeke, a real person who is real. Like Miss. Faith before him, Rev. Tody Anderson mentions how life in Nigeria is similar to life in the mafia. Unlike Miss. Faith, the good reverend gets hella specific. Listed below are the mafias and banks behind the non release of your funds that I managed to sneak out for your kind perusal. While I appreciate being provided information about the multiple mafias responsible for my seat within middle class, you can rest assured, Rev. Tody, I will NOT be perusing t...

Subject: Congratulations!! Your Payment Is Ready (States Federal Reserve) I wasn't expecting a payment, but the double exclamation points on this congratulatory email from the federal government speak to the legitimacy of my situation. I have butterflies of excitement in my tummy. FOREIGN TRANSFER DEPARTMENT UNITED STATES FEDERAL RESERVE 2012/2014 FRAUD VICTIMS REF/PAYMENTS CODE:FRB/00546 Date:- 22/09/2014 Totally real department of the government? Check I'm a fraud victim? Check? Payment code? Check. Recent date written almost accurately? Check. This all checks out. Attention:- Beneficiary, Call me Mike. It has come to our notice that you have been defrauded of your hard earned money by fraudsters from Africa and the rest of the world. DANG AFRICAN FRAUDSTERS! (shakes fist to the sky) Welp, at least justice is being served, even if there is no detail regarding exactly how the fraudsters have been defrauding me of my hard-earned money so that maybe I can adj...