So, Do You Like ... Stuff?

Subject: Re: SUSPECT_SPAM_SA1-SMT P PLEASE READ MY MESSAGE IT IS VERY IMPORTANT This subject header seems to contain conflicting information, but I will err on the side of caution and trust it completely. PLEASE TAKE TIME TO READ EVERYTHING IN THIS MESSAGE, THANK YOU. OK. I owe you at least that much. I believe this message will come to you as a surprise because we have never met before. My Name is Sergeant Andrea James Zaugg. I am from Victor-ville California, United States of America.  I’m surprised we’ve never met, Army sergeant who needs to point out that California is in the United States but is unaware his hometown is not hyphenated. I found your Email contact in an address journal online. And here we are. Destiny, thy name is Zaugg. I work with the U.S Army, but currently on a peace keeping mission here in Kabul Afghanistan. Those things are not mutually exclusive, but OK. The information i am about to disclose to you will be of great...

I get a ton of spam here at work. Much of it involves junk emails that are sent to place counterfeit classified ads using stolen credit card info, so ... America! We can examine those, I hope, soon. Today's spam feature, however, consists of that common and generic invitation to market gold in an unspecified side of the world. Subject: Greeting's To You. There is literally nothing correct about this subject header, which is a fantastic start. Greeting's is possessive, every word is CAP'd, and there is a period at the end, which is, honestly, sociopathic. If this isn't a spambot, it's from a serial killer. Subject headers are always my favorite part of spam emails because they're supposed to draw the sucker in, but are always so terrible that any moderately intelligent person or cat can and will immediately delete them because they are so terrible. Here is how the spam robots envisioned this subject being received. (Note: they envision it being receive...