The Protocols for a "Cubs World Series Parade"...

...were hidden on the back of the United States Constitution in 1789 by Colonel John Brown of Pittsfield, MA.*

Now, Chicago City Council has just 24 hours to find them...

Or perhaps, centuries ago, a psychohistorian named Hari "Caray" Seldon predicted very this moment.

Tomorrow at noon, in the secret vault beneath that fake "Al Capone" vault, Seldon will manifest himself to put these events into perspective and explain how to carry off a successful Cubs World Series Parade...

Or they could, y'know, just do it this way:

City releases details on Friday's Cubs World Series parade

The parade honoring the World Series champion Chicago Cubs will start at 10 a.m. Friday at Wrigley Field before ending with a noon rally in Grant Park, the city and team announced Thursday.

The team will leave the ballpark at 10 a.m. and work its way south toward downtown, but city officials did not release the entire route.

Instead, the city is asking fans to view the parade at three locations: Addison Street from Sheffield to Pine Grove; North Michigan Avenue from Oak to Ohio streets; and Columbus Drive between Monroe Street and Balbo Avenue. Those are the three parts of the parade where the vehicles carrying the team will proceed slowly at "parade speed," according to Shannon Breymaier, a city spokeswoman...

*Thanks for the catch.

Today In Bear Baiting

Over the years I have been in most bars in Wrigleyville including this one (John Barleycorn) and I seen many strange things.

But to-date I have never seen a dick get decked by an unsanctioned bear.

Rock On

Everybody Should Be More Reasonable

From the Daily Dish:

Stating the Obvious
30 Aug 2010 12:34 pm

by Conor Friedersdorf

In the course of American history, if either liberals or conservatives disappeared entirely from the American scene, leaving the right or left to pursue their best ideas and most flawed excesses alike, this country would be in far worse shape than it is today.
...