SuMMER JAM 2022: August Scoop for '22!

Alright folks we are rounding the last few weeks of a relatively forgettable summer and only have a few more jams in the hopper. I really don't know what song should earn the crown this year. I mean, we actually do all know it's definitely "Running Up That Hill" but I protest mainly on my annoyance with Stranger Things and also, as wonderful as it is, totally not a new song! Whatever, it definitely wins, let's run down the rest:

Hot JAM of the Month: "Cracker Island" by Gorillaz

Gorillaz as of late have seemed to somehow dipped even further into its EDM indulgences and that's not always great, but for me and this band it's like pizza. Even the cold and old bits are going to taste great. This is actually a bit of a banger and their distinctive voice is showing through all the nonsense. Obviously not a hit at all, but this is the HOT JAM baby! It's just hot.

"Her" by Megan Thee Stallion

This track is hot as hell. I haven't heard it anywhere ever until this week but I really enjoy it. It seems to be letting Megan rip her flow up instead of putting her into some novelty garbage (I obviously also love the novelty garbage, no hating here). But she's just doing her thing here and it's really fun and refreshing to here. It's not that popular anywhere but I dig it.

"Betty" by Yung Gravy

What do folks think of my main man Yung Gravy. The word problematic is thrown around quite a bit. I mean, maybe it's cringe? I don't know. Is he self-aware? Or is he reveling in it? Am I terrible for unironically enjoying pretty much everything he does? This has gotten some mainstream traction which is fun. Bold to ape the Rickrolling legend so blatantly, and this song is...well, it might actually be better, right? But quality was never the point. Homeboy's got to keep his glasses on, though. He an ugly dude.

"Sunroof" by Nicky Youre, dazy

This is the epitome of Summer 2022. Completely forgettable background music that's pleasant and inoffensive that masks a deep deep darkness as the world implodes. I dunno, this song definitely sucks, there's just nothing to it but it's definitely been around for a spell. Your reaction is like, "Oh yeah, that song. Sure."

"I like you" by Post Malone ft. Doja Cat

Yeah, same kind of crap here. Like, this song exists. I get grumpier the less interesting a song is, especially for the talent involved here. It's just very safe and uninspiring. Seems to be the radio a lot though. There's a weird gap between radio play, Spotify play, and what's actually popular any given time. Almost as if the artifice of this entire column's purpose for existence is crumbling before our eyes. Why do you think we've only done once a month this year?

"Numb Little Bug" by Em Beihold

Yeah, this like sort of in that same zone, but it actually has a little more of an edge when you clue in. It's definitely a "Uh, yeah, what is that song? I've heard that somewhere." Beihold is a new voice and the beat is super minimalist, but the lyrics are deep enough and I like the way her voice flows over the bridge. I'll put it in my much vaulted plus column, definitely a presence this summer.

"Woman" by Doja Cat

I don't know what Doja's deal is. I remember "Mooo!" and "Go To Town" and like, oh wow look at this original wacky taboo-breaking voice! And then we she blew up I guess her original voice is just to dress and make videos exactly like Nicki Minaj and Cardi B? I don't know, I'm so grateful for the amount of black female rappers now, but why do they all seem to be pigeonholed into the same aesthetic. I blame the studio and I think that we're not actually quite as far along with representation as we like to pretend to be. But I do like this song! And most of Doja's other tracks.

"Break My Soul" by Beyonce

This is what a real pop superstar looks like. She's somehow not chasing any trends but manages to update her music and crank out another true banger. This has really taken over August in the way that only Beyonce can. And for the record, Beyonce isn't actually that popular, it's just popular to think she's popular (she gets crushed by Taylor and Mariah, who are intern annihilated by Rihanna), but she still has a tremendous amount of integrity as an artist for someone of her still admittedly stratospheric level. Anyway, this song rules.

Next whatever...

I left Nicki off. She's giving Rick James her Sir Mix A Lot treatment, and it's not all that good, but whatever. Latto's always there, and I even sniffed some Imagine Dragons this month, but the former is assuredly fading (even if it's my personal favorite summer jam) and the latter is obviously hot ocean garbage.

More 2016 Afterthoughts n Superlatives

By now we're about a week into 2017 and so far so good. No major deaths or anything. There was a shitty airport attack, but all in all pretty good. Pretty sort of good. But I was thinking a bit more about 2016 and there was a handful of stuff I wanted to address that didn't have any place anywhere else.

Now, I rarely do quick, unfocused posts like this, but for what it's worth, here's my final collection of 2016 thoughts:

"Be prepaaaaared!"

Best Villain: Somehow this made a ton of money but critically and Internet-ally, The Jungle Book (2016) seemed under the radar. Still, it really deserves some props for its stunning effects, even if the lack of a real environment is kind of a pain and some animals come off pretty creepy. The voice work isn't really good at all here, but damn if Shere Khan isn't the Best Villain to hit cinemas all year. Idris Elba is far better here than in Star Trek Beyond (2016), which is kind of a mess. You'd cheer for Khan's perspective if he wasn't also so damn evil. His viewpoint is perfectly captured and the threat whenever he's on screen is palpable.

Most Exaggerated Disaster: Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016) was unconscionably bad anyway you slice it, but the framing of the conversation was far more wicked than it needed to be. It still grossed a ton of cash, and Warner Bros shouldn't be all that worried. Still, every thing that happened was remarkably stupid and groan-worthy.

Best Sister Accomplishments: No one in music had a better year than the Knowles Sisters. Solange, who up until 2016 was mostly known as Beyonce's sister got to be known as Solange this year, and the pair somehow churned out some of the most artistic videos of the year. Beyonce is at a point in her career where she's just having proud insane cheeky confident fun, albeit with some devastating (? I guess?) subject matter. Solange still needs to prove herself, but in doing so came up with the more opaque but nevertheless compelling material.

Worst Oscar Stutter: Birth of a Nation (2016) went from Oscar frontrunner to dead in the water, mostly on Nate Parker's Penn State Rape acquittal. That's all kind of bullshit that shouldn't reflect on the film itself, but needed to be brought up every time the flick is mentioned. We're also honestly weary of the slavery narrative. It's amazing how much this film fell off, though.

Most Forgettable / Unnecessary Sequel: 2016 will forever be known for its horrible, horrible sequels that all went no where and bombed. Or to be more accurate, it won't be, because no one will remember this trash. Between Jason Bourne, Star Trek Beyond, Neighbors 2: Sorority Rising, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Out of the Shadows, Independence Day: Resurgence, Kung Fu Panda 3, Ride Along 2, Zoolander 2, London Has Fallen (I actually really liked that one), The Divergent Series: Allegiant, The Huntsman: Winter's War, X-Men: Apocalypse, Now You See Me 2, Bridget Jones' Baby, Blair Witch, Jack Reacher: Never Go Back, Bad Santa 2, and Underworld: Blood Wars. That list is actually more staggering than I thought. I want to call out Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them for being decently successful (#8 on the year), but never really reaching Harry Potter heights commercially or culturally. The worst of course, though has got to be the film no one wanted, Alice Through the Looking Glass. It grossed about 23% of its predecessor domestically and up until this paragraph you had forgotten it even existed. Hell, you probably forgot that Alice in Wonderland (2010) even existed.

So that just about wraps up 2016. Finally. Probably. Anything you'd add?

Summer Jam Week 5: Jhene and Big Take Wedding Weekend

Listen - we knew we'd get to this post eventually today. It was a busy weekend. A weekend of weddings where everyone got married. So this is obviously your soundtrack - the ultimate party down fuel. For the weekend that just happened.

Hot Jam of the Week: "On the Way" by Big Sean & Jhene Aiko



Anyone who's read this column knows that I try to find any excuse I can to fit Jhene Aiko into my life, and after she earned the line of the year last summer with "Gotta eat the booty like groceries" I'm excited to see her on what could be the sexiest track of 2016. There are a lot of jams this week that could be set up to do pretty well, and I am a little wary of how niche this could be, but I enjoyed a lot of the slow jams on Twenty88, and I love even more that these two have named their collabo group the same title.

A Love Story: "American Money" by BORNS

This is certainly the odd-song out this week, but I woke up to it three times this week. Three times! I suppose that says more about the radio station I play in the morning than anything, but needless to say, it was on my mind. It's a cool kind of jam that has a slow lyrical pulse with a more agitated beat that's nice to wake up to if anything. This is not going to be a popular jam.

Three Short of a Decade: "Seven Years" by Lukas Graham

I'm so totally officially over this song and how introspective and lonely it makes me, but after a few absent weeks it's back here, baby. I can't actually look at Lukas Graham without laughing and thinking of Andy Milonakis or something. Any appreciation I once had for this track has been slowly sapped out of me for some reason, which is weird because I'll STILL listen to Rebecca Black every Friday.

Trolls! Oh no! "Can't Stop The Feeling" by Justin Timberlake

I thought I had it, but I totally had to search "new Justin Timberlake song" again to find this thing. "Can't Stop This Feeling" is just so damn totally generic that it blurs into whatever else is going on in my head. I wish this was a few more shades of distinctive, like "Suit & Tie" which goes for the same kind of jazzy throwback vibes to way catchier effect. Then again, I'm glad he's putting out new tunes, which he hasn't really done since "Suit & Tie." I mean, sure, "Not a Bad Thing" but whateeeever. Can you even hum that? No one can.

Uno Bailando: "One Dance" by Drake ft. Wizkid, Kyla

Anyone know who Wizkid is or what his contributions are here? I do actually want to here an only-Kyla version because she's really the one who pulls me into this jam with her slow burn sultry vocal development. This could be a whole lot longer, which would help, but I'm always surprised that it's actually only two minutes. It's still hanging out for sure, but c'mon, the industry right now is just waiting for something better to become ubiquitous this summer.

Listen No Where: "Hold Up" by Beyonce

Call this an even tie between this and "Sorry" most notably because anyone named Becky has become "Becky with the Good Hair." This of course is a song that can't be found anywhere but Tidal or really shitty chopped and skewed YouTube clips. But you know it. You know iiiittttt. I'm a fan of this jam for sure and I'm curious if it merges with "Sorry" and the rest of Lemonade or somehow ends up striking out enough on its own to catch on and be a jam worth jamming to.

Seven Winters and Six Summers: "All the Way Up" by Fat Joe - the Remix ft. Jay-Z, Remy Ma, French Montana, Infared

Yep. The remix is totally the one to listen to. If you haven't gotten the impression yet, this was totally a rap-heavy week, and I really dug this, even though it's been simmering for the past two weeks for sure. This is a triumphant comeback for Fat Joe who I think still can't really rap, but that's also the cherriest rhyme Jay-Z has dropped in quite some time. Remy Ma drops the best flow, though. This has a lot of pedigree for sure, and its hook is so simple, yet passionately inspiring (in a "Started From the Bottom Now We Here" kind of way for sure), its beat so laid-back and jazzy, that it ends up being highly listenable.

Does a Bear Eat Bamboo in the Woods? "Panda" by Desiigner

You knew it was coming! I'm so on the Panda bandwagon and so is America. The future of hip-hop. Oh jeez, that's all sorts of insane. Listening to this for the fortieth or fiftieth time this week I'm struck by how well I could live without the TTTRRRRRLLLLL-YEEE-AWWW!'s constantly in the background, but the flow is so modern, it's really the 2016 "Trap Queen." No doubt. Now, how long can it defend?

Next week...

There were plenty of deserving candidates left on the floor this week, in what could be our first real blow-up weekend of summer. "Sorry" was plenty deserving, and I actually started hearing a bit of Bieber's "Love Yourself" back again. I was also curious about "California" by Colonel Loud, specifically this remix, which of course exists to add another Snoop California mix to his oeuvre, because why not. He's contractually obligated to appear on any song mentioning California not by Phantom Planet. It also came out a year ago, but Grace's "You Don't Own Me" ft. G-Eazy is picking up, possibly because of the latter's career rising, but I remember that track last year. Finally, let's talk about Lil Wayne's "Gotta Lotta" which just totally sounds like a 2008 song.

2014 in Review: Muzak

Welcome ya'll to the Final Day of 2011. We got room for about one more post this year, so we'll talk about music. Yeah we skipped TV. The winner was True Detective, followed closely by Last Week Tonight with John Oliver. No more debate there. But music! Let's talk about music! Like we usually do here, let's start with a big list of every remotely good or interesting single to drop this year, forming a heady 2014 Capsule in roughly chronological order:

Singles of 2014:

"Sweatpants" by Childish Gambino
"Drunk in Love" by Beyoncé
"Cookie" by R. Kelly
"Turn Down for What" by Lil' Jon
"Dark Horse" by Katy Perry
"Hell of a Night" by Schoolboy Q
"Happy" by Pharrell
"Girls Chase Boys" by Ingrid Michaelson
"Fragile" by Tech N9ne ft. Kendrick Lamar, ¡MAYDAY!, and Kendall Morgan
"Pompeii" by Bastille
"Hey Brother" by Avicii
"Stolen Dance" by Milky Chance
"Talk Dirty" by Jason Derulo
"All of Me" by John Legend
"Glory and Gore" by Lorde
"West Coast" by Lana Del Rey
"#SELFIE" by The Chainsmokers
"The Worst" by Jhené Aiko
"Fancy" by Iggy Azalea ft. Charli XCX
"Digital Witness" by St. Vincent
"Problem" by Ariana Grande ft. Iggy Azalea
"I Mean It" by G-Eazy ft. Remo
"The Writing's on the Wall" by OK Go
"Stay With Me" by Sam Smith
"I Wanna Get Better" by Bleachers
"Boom Clap" by Charli XCX
"Rude" by MAGIC!
"Wiggle" by Jason Derulo ft. Snoop Dogg
"Tacky" by Weird Al
"Chandelier" by Sia
"Seen It All" by Young Jeezy ft. Jay-Z
"Come Get it Bae" by Pharrell ft. Miley Cyrus
"Flawless" by Beyoncé
"Back to the Shack" by Weezer
"Habits" by Tove Lo
"Left Hand Free" by alt-J
"Shake it Off" by Taylor Swift
"All About That Bass" by Meghan Trainor
"This is How We Do" by Katy Perry
"Anaconda" by Nicki Minaj
"I" by Kendrick Lamar
"Blank Space" by Taylor Swift
"Animals" by Maroon 5
"Lips Are Movin'" by Meghan Trainor
"Tuesday" by ILOVEMAKONNEN ft. Drake
"Black Widow" by Iggy Azalea ft. Rita Ora
"Uptown Funk" by Mark Ronson ft. Bruno Mars
"Take Me To Church" by Hozier
"I'm Not the Only One" by Sam Smith
"Love Me Harder" by Ariana Grande ft. The Weeknd
"Break the Rules" by Charli XCX
"The Heart Wants What it Wants" by Selena Gomez

So let's narrow that down. A couple songs clearly rise above the rest, and I would think they're all pretty obvious. At least for anyone who follows the Summer Jam. My picks for the Best Singles of 2014:

"Drunk in Love" by Beyoncé: They could still be overplaying this on the radio and I couldn't get sick of it. Queen Bey always puts a crazy amount of passion in her songs but her ode to drunk banging is her crowning achievement. #SURFBORT.
"Habits" by Tove Lo: I always think "Tone Loc" which is something else altogether. Tove Lo squirms around this track before finding some sublime confidence in a painful elegy to coping drug use that really shouldn't be suitable for Top 40 Radio. But hey, that's what that rhythm is for.
"The Worst" by Jhené Aiko: Is there a better voice that debuted this year than Aiko? This is R&B ballad is smooth, chilling, and full of heart-wrenching pain all at the same time.
"Blank Space" by Taylor Swift: I love the pop version of Tay Sway who seems to be super-aware of the public perception of her and who is in turn determined to undermine that through essentially meta-songs like this and "Shake It Off" where she's also hijacking youth phrases and culture to stand up for herself. They hate us cuz they ain't us.
"i" by Kendrick Lamar: I've had an awful lot of pop here, so let's finish with Kendrick. He's sampling the Isley Brothers' "Lady" so much he might as well be just rapping over the song, but he elevates it with his personal brand of self-effacing rapid-fire rap that has this real bitter edge to it that lends an outstanding fury to the audial experience.

This was also an outstanding year for the Music Videos. Here are my picks:

"Dangerous" by Big Data ft. Joywave



And it's not just the busty chicks running in slow motion! I swear! If I wanted just that I can watch Flo Rida's "Run" anytime I want. "Dangerous" is full of all these subversive misguided marketing elements revealing the stupidity inherent to a corporate culture that only follows what tests well. And yes, I can watch this all day for the chicks. Until they start attacking and eating people. See, it turns that sexiness on its head in fabulously gruesome ways.

"Tacky" by Weird Al



The single-take thing and the celebrity-lip synching are both kind of played out (tacky, if you will), but this video plods along until Jack Black arrives and just kills it with this infectious fat impish glee. This is the musical equivalent to Birdman (2014).

"7/11" by Beyoncé



There's so much going on here. Maybe it's one of the most successful ladies in music making the kind of video on the cheap she could have been making her first year in the business. Maybe it's the slightly subversive element of letting those back-up dancers be a little more sloppy, natural, casual, and fun. That's it. This video just looks like a hell of a lot of fun. Most artists aren't comfortable looking this stupid, but part of Bey's confidence is why we love her.

"I Won't Let You Go" by OK Go



I'll freely admit that OK Go kind of sucks musically, so I feel like they make all these crazy videos in order to bring attention to themselves. And for sure they're pretty immersive, but the music ends up just oddly accompanying the tracks as white background noise rather than anything I'd be dying to hear on Spotify. "The Writing's on the Wall" is more visually impressive, but "I Won't Let You Go"  is more technically impressive, so we'll go with that. They are really creative when it comes to these videos, just kind of shitty musicians.

"Sweatpants" by Childish Gambino



This was one of my favourite songs of the year and by far the most interesting music video. From its impossible single take aspects to its slow burn intensity shared with absurdity, it's completely engrossing. There's a slowly degrading loop, doppelgangers, and a descent into the self that's rarely seen in such a bumping driving upbeat track like this. Ending with a sharp segue into "Urn" adds to the dreamlike nature of the video and also lets you come down after the mind-tripping intensity of the video piques to match the song's climax. It's awesome.

Albums of the Year:

Rock: Everything Will Be Alright in the End by Weezer.

"Ain't Got Nobody" feels like every song off the Green Album, which just perfectly reassures Weezer faithful this is getting back to their roots. "Back to the Shack" says this much more explicitly. Everything else that follows delivers on that promise as Weezer's blend of ear-friendly punk, pop, and falsetto rock congeal into an album that is surprisingly both familiar and experimental.
Best Tracks: "The British Are Coming," "Cleopatra," and "Foolish Father."
Runner Up: Everyday Robots by Damon Alburn

Pop: St. Vincent by St. Vincent

No, not the Bill Murray movie, as Google seems to always want to direct me to when I search this album. Annie Clark St. Vincent has a lot of hard rock mixed with grungy synth in this breakthrough album. There's a reason why she was the best singer to join with Nirvana for their Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Induction. She spits that hot fire while the background sounds like Rezopolis. It's such damn good ear candy that feels like David Byrne was put through a glitter freeze blender.
Best Tracks: "Huey Newton," "Bring Me Your Loves," and "Severed Crossed Fingers."
Runner Up: 1989 by Taylor Swift

Hip-Hop: Run the Jewels 2 by Run the Jewels (Killer Mike and El-P)

That first track hits you with the unashamed intensity of a full speed bull and this album never lets up. It's a gothic brutal hip-hop that oozes with awesome beats and epic mastery of the spoken rap. Killer Mike and El-P have never been gods in the rap game, but they support and trade blows with each other like the best in the game. This hasn't really gotten the credit it should have, because the album doesn't contain one radio-friendly track, but if you're in a mood to put a scare into some white people, let this riff for an hour.
Best Tracks: "Blockbuster Night Part 1," "All My Life," and "Love Again."
Runner Up: Oxymoron by Schoolboy Q

Artist of the Year:

This year was a real formative one for many future superstars, among them Sam Smith, Charli XCX, Meghan Trainor, and Ariana Grande. It was also an epic return to relevance for Weird Al, who for one week completely dominated every chart imaginable. Other weird bits of musical dominance came from Movie Soundtracks - last year's Frozen ruled the roost with thirteen total weeks at #1 on the Billboard Top 200 (it was also 2014's highest selling album somehow). Guardians of the Galaxy proved to have an even more incredulous feat, also hitting #1 despite containing no original songs, and no song made after 1979.

Pharrell and Beyoncé also had big years, but that happens all the time with these two. This year's Big Artist, without question, is Iggy Azalea. She had a one-two punch this summer with "Fancy" and "Problem" and then continued slaying it, teaming up with Rita Ora for "Black Widow" and then closed out the year with "Beg For It." It's an exceptional line-up of very popular songs that are actually pretty damn good.

Iggy's a household name now. But will she continue her output or fade in the background? How much did you hear about Macklemore this year? That's what I'm talking about. Macklemore just ran out of songs on The Heist, but I think that Iggy's output can be a bit stronger and we could be talking about her again this time next year. She's a strong enough presence. Who am I kidding, Macklemore is also awesome, who knows what will happen. But at least she can always claim 2014 as her greatest year ever.

So, that's it, folks. Crank up your radios, make sure to catch True Dectective, and have a Happy New Year!