2022 Nutshelled: Stuff We Thought Would Be Great!

Ah, the best time of the year. Time to look back at what we were eagerly anticipating and see how wrong we were. I feel like I'm disappointed every year, man. Except for 2017 when Blade Runner 2049 was my most anticipated and then greatest movie of the year. So let's take a look back at this stuff and see how we did:

Untitled David O. Russel Project (turned out to be Amsterdam):

Did I see it? Yep

How was it?

Dude, this shit was not good. What a freakin disaster. Just all over the place and ends with nine - NINE characters standing in a room with nothing to do. This feels more like a vanity exercise to work with every great contemporary actor (name one and they're in this movie) but give no one anything to do. Also a truly terrible exercise in subtlety. 

Bullet Train

Did I see it? Yep

How was it?

I don't know. It's maybe very good, but also maybe very bad. I think I didn't like it. I'm going to end on that side, although the ending is very strong. Ultimately I don't think it gets over the problems it has loving its own cheeky self and becomes a movie struggling with its own authenticity.

Nope

Did I see it? Yep

How was it?

Dude, it's like one of the best. Go watch it.

Moonfall

Did I see it? Yep

How was it?

How utterly disappointing. I mean, I knew it'd be stupid, but it wasn't even that stupid in a self-aware or fun kind of way. Just kind of a mess. I'm so sad.

Don't Worry Darling

Did I see it? Yep

How was it?

This movie got a lot of hate, but looking back it feels so clear that it's just more anti-women hate. The behind the scenes non-sense is inescapable not to talk about, but we should give all the actors all the more credit that the finished product is so tight.

Ambulance

Did I see it? Yep

How was it?

YO! This is actually fire. I should watch it again. It's somehow the most Michael Bay-movie of all time, but then also somehow GOOD?! It landed with a substantially difficult thud, but deserves much more. I'd watch it again. It's just a pure, beautiful non-stop car chase movie. At some point you need to give it up, because Roland Emmerich is right there fucking this shame shit up. I don't know. I need to really think about this. Why is this good? I think it does have to do with its genuine-ness, it just loves itself, which many modern movies struggle with.

Jackass Forever

Did I see it? Yep

How was it?

So, it's definitely good. I don't think it reaches the heights of either of the previous two installments (it's ahead of Jackass: The Movie [2002]), but it's not the amazing work that contemporary reviews thought it was. The editing was a little sloppy, I expected more from the new cast, and we are thoroughly separated from the ride or die grit that gave the first films their charm. I think critics probably liked it because it was far tamer, but c'mon. I frankly love it as a look into the world of filming through COVID. And the captured conversation about Cobra Kai lol.

The Northman

Did I see it? Yep

How was it?

Unreal. One of the best of the year and BEST EVER. More to come.

Across the Spider-Verse Part 1

Did I see it? Nope, did not come out

How was it?

I'll tell ya next year! Is this coming out?

Looking back, man, all those superhero movies were crap. I apparently liked Doc Strange better than most folks, it was definitely enjoyable, but everything else was mid. Also, what happened to the Aquaman and Flash movies? When are these ever coming out? I told you, I'll believe it when I'm in theaters. I can't believe AVABAR Dos: Wet n Wild actually dropped. I don't really plan on seeing it, maybe not ever, just looks....really really stupid.

What's up for next year?! Probably all great perfect films!!

First Impressions: Jackass Forever

 Ohh....Jackass. I was pretty excited for this one, having been a significant of this series for the past twenty-two years. I was right at the perfect age in High School when it came out and completely bought into the skater culture of the time. It's also the kind of movie that doesn't really get old. People falling down is still funny. Of course, the actors are much older here, but they bring in some new blood. So, SPOILERS here, but let's talk about Jackass and what this film does right and how it whiffs.

No! Not the bees they're in my eyes auuughhh!!

I watched all three previous installments (plus 2.5 and 3.5) in anticipation of this. It reminded me of both how cinematic a collection of random sketches can be, and also their distinctive eye towards nailing iconic shots. Director Jeff Tremaine deserves more credit than he gets for wrangling these insane personalities, but also for his crisp editing, impeccable comedic timing, and a clear vision for where the brand is going. Knoxville adds a lot to this - there's always this Buster Keaton / Looney Tunes element. They go for really classic gags that are typically creative to see on screen. Their improvisation, especially Knoxville and Pontius' was always far, far underrated. They only get one chance to nail a one-liner after an insane stunt. "Is Butterbean okay?" still slays me.

Now, this series obviously being one focused on the most puerile elements of society, but I also really dig how it continuously and effortlessly busts taboos. There is ingestion of fecal matter, interaction with venomous animals, and an extreme amount of nudity. In 2.5 they interact with the Aghori Tribe of India who partake in this to the extreme, cutting themselves, dusting with ashes of dead bodies, and consuming raw and dead flesh. Jackass isn't the Aghori, but it's as close as Western Civilization will come.

Despite all this, though, Jackass in the end tends to be a warm and welcoming place. There is a ]high amount of divergent acceptance, both physically and neurologically going on here, and more than that, the camaraderie always shines through. You see them hurtling their bodies through these insane stunts, but they also capture moments of pain, support, and laughter at each other. It's as if by acknowledging the pranks, stunts, and pain, they are able to express that true love and brotherhood at the end of the day. This is not always true. Also, we'll talk about Bam later.

However, this is still why Jackass stands out and why it's lasted so long. Well, that and Johnny Knoxville's invincible will to push himself far longer and harder than anyone else in the business. But there is such a jovial nature to the pranks, and it's rarely at the expense of the victim. It is far more focused on the person doing the prank, with public embarrassment, taboo-busting, or shock value as the goal. Victims are almost always seen laughing when the curtain is pulled down. Again, this isn't always the case with the cast.

So, let's dive into the fourth movie! Right away something is wrong. Namely, we're missing two of our beloved cast members. Ryan Dunn was killed in a drunk driving accident in 2011. Bam Margera was supposed to be a part of the movie (you can see him in one scene - the band members on the treadmill), but he was not able to submit to sobriety regulations handed down from Paramount and was kicked off set. I want to tackle this head-on.

Losing Dunn was devastating. He was always more of this sidekick character to Bam, but it was fun to watch him (and his beard) grow. He doesn't do too much in Jackass: The Movie (2002), he gets beaten up by a professional Japanese kickboxer, but then isn't all that much of a presence. Until the end, when he does the stunt that even Steve-O wouldn't do and establishes himself in Jackass history forever. After that his presence and confidence increased and you see him as a huge utility player in the group.

Being part of Jackass naturally means you're always teetering on the edge of full-blown alcoholism. It's a crazy environment. You see how much beer they drink on set (most notably in the papercut scene, which I really can't watch. This film adds the Spider-Helmet to that honorable distinction). Steve-O demised and rised, but Bam struggled with addiction before losing his best friend Dunn. That really pushed him over the edge and it's been a difficult recovery. Here is where I'm at - when you watch him in this deleted instagram video, you get his side. It seems like Paramount was setting him up for failure with multiple drug tests and breathalyzers a day, and as he notes, he's not the only Jackass member with substance abuse problems. Nothing seems to be on the side of the addict.

At the same time, he's clearly handling it poorly. He blew up at Tremaine and Knoxville, and seems to be burning the bridges of that great intimate friendship they had had twenty years ago. It's all just really sad and looms over this film like a dark spectre. I kept thinking about which sketches Bam might have done if he were here. The nut-boxing that Preston does seems like a weird choice for him, as he doesn't usually do nut stuff. But Bam does. I'm sure there are others if I looked at it with a clear eye.

Also awkward is the Ryan Dunn tribute. I know they were trying to be touching, but I found it odd they shoved it in at the end of the credits instead of in the movie proper. It just feels like this elephant in the room for the whole movie. They also clearly tried hard to find clips of him that didn't also contain Bam. This put a bad taste in my mouth because it's contrary to everything that made Jackass great that I said earlier. It's ignoring the timeless camaraderie and friendship bonds that made this fun to watch in favor of something more corporate. I recognize that it's more complicated than that, but it was a downer.

Looking back at the other films, I was surprised to realize how commercial this is. That's really weird to say because we straight up see Steve-O's dick covered in bees, but it lacked the gritty edge that the first two movies had. It finds itself in line with 3D (2010), which had these ridiculously expensive phantom cameras that could capture the stupidest shit in slow motion 3D. Sometimes literal shit. This film does find an excellent way of integrating phantom cameras again, although it's not the main gimmick this time. There is a good mix of old and new here, with old stunts updated with a new twist, like Dave England taking a shit at a yardsale or Knoxville doing another 360 with a bull. It's all a lot of fun. And it's perhaps weird to bemoan the era of grainy video cameras, but that level of cheapness always made it feel DIY and home-brewed. I know we're well, WELL past that, but I'm still whining.

This film adds a lot of new cast members and transition is always hard. The CKY crew seems completely burned off, although we do get a glimpse of Raab Himself operating a camera. I didn't spy Loomis Fall, but he's apparently in there somewhere, and they seemed to replace Manny Puig and David Weathers. These were always fun apocrypha to dig into about Jackass. I always loved how close it was to the extreme sports world, with Brandon Novak, Matt Hoffman, and Clyde Singleton showing up randomly. Re-watching the old ones, Matt Hoffman is in a surprising amount of background shots. Some of this is assuredly the loss of Bam, who was a strong connection. Also the world has kind of moved on.

We get Poopie, Rachel Wolfson, Zach Thomas, Eric Manaka, Jasper, and Dark Shark. They are pretty good. I think it's tough because we don't totally know them and we don't really have that history with the guys. Poopie fits in really well, but he doesn't totally have a distinctive sketch. None of them really do. Rachel comes close with her scorpion Botox and positively gnarly silent electricity lick. By the way, I love how Pontius plays the doctor putting scorpions on Rachel's chin, after he fought them the same way when he dressed his face up like a barbarian. There's also a great bit when he asks permission to touch her breast to remove the scorpion. He's just so sweet and earnest.

Distaff counterpart Jackass

I liked Dark Shark as a kind of cameo as Jasper's dad that hangs out and does spider and vulture shit. His death grip of Knoxville is fantastic, like this is finally someone who isn't taking his shit. Same with a brief appearance by Tyler the Creator, who seems to be the only one who realizes that he's about to get shocked as he plays the piano. I didn't realize how much Tremaine worked on Loiter Squad, and yeah, that's a perfect partnership to bring into this fold. Jackass has always been incredibly egalitarian in incorporating its imitators.

Eric Andre appears and seems to be a continuous presence, and even gets some good one-liners, but I was waiting for a big sketch with him. He's the best heir apparent to this world and has pushed Jackass concepts to their natural millennial conclusions. He supposedly might be in 4.5, but I'd take more of him now mixing it in with these guys!

Mostly, I was looking for something distinctive from these new guys. They more or less just seemed like fodder since a lot of the original cast couldn't come back. Everyone always had a role - Knoxville was the leader and chief prankster, and would specialize in stunts. Bam was the whiney skater and Dunn the stealth gnarly sidekick. Pontius loves his dick, Steve-O master of pain and turds that combined taboo with physical feats. Dave England could take craps, Wee Man was a little person, Preston the fatass, and Ehren the whipping boy who could also stealth do some incredible stunts. I know it's really just a new lot of people, but like many modern updates, they had trouble finding their voice amidst the old cast trotting out their tried and true.

The best of this is probably the Icarus. Knoxville so instinctively is able to spread his fake wings at the apex of his cannon launch. It is incredible. I don't know how he pulls this off. He really broke himself on...well, just about everything he did, but it's an amazing sight to see here.

So, let's talk about Ehren McGhehey. He always came off as a huge piece of shit, but it seemed like they really went after him in this movie. The "Terror Taxi" gag was a fun prank on a prank, and it felt like they just rolled with that. Ehren isn't the only one fooled by the Silence of the Lambs bit, which is terrifying, but he's the most canny because they've done this too him before. In the bear bit, it really feels like Knoxville is a psychopath, though, tying him him and shocking him in front of a large bear, repeating over the PA system, "Are you really allergic to bees, Ehren?" as if it had been some great lie. It's haunting.

I hate to say it, but these moments are what pushes Jackass Forever (2022) over the edge into a really, really funny movie. I give it all the credit in the world for creating an experience where I cringe, cover my eyes, laugh, become uncomfortable, and find some genuine shock. It is a real trip. It oddly felt really short, though, despite being the longest of all movies. I think that's because there isn't a high total amount of bits.

For the record:

Jackass: The Movie: 55

Jackass Number Two: 52

Jackass 2.5: 27

Jackass 3D: 46

Jackass 3.5: 44

Jackass Forever: 36

The bits breathe a ton more, though, and more than any other film we see more of the set-up, more of them breaking, more angry call-outs to Jeff Tremaine, and the after-effects of pain. The lack of Bam and Dunn also mean that everyone else gets a lot more time to shine, particularly Ehren, although that's also because he seems to get all the most painful tasks to complete. I wonder if he was Darfing it up every night.

It's amazing to me that the final sketch is Jackass: The Move is more memorable than this one. You can do a lot with a car up your but. The Vomitron that became a paintball war just seemed unconnected and unironic. Normally pranks work because they set the victim up to compound their pain. When Bam and Knoxville dump bees in a limo, they run out in a panic, only to trip on marbles. I don't know. I thought the final bit in 3D was a letdown, too. They needed to up the tension of Steve-O's rollercoaster fear more. Number Two with their huge production number at the end remains the high point of a big conclusion for me, Forever is assuredly anti-climactic.

But I liked this movie! I liked it a lot. It felt good to laugh again and these idiots just felt like old pros the whole time. I'd honestly like to see this continue with the newer cast getting more of a chance to prove themselves. I think Knoxville and Steve-O are done. They just keep breaking too many bones. Knoxville might remain as a ringleader, destroying everyone psychologically. And as we know, Steve-O will outlive all of them.

The Unabashed Greatest Upcoming Films of 2022

Another annum is upon us and that means one thing and one thing only. It's time to get HYPED for shit that will definitely suck. I am going to be bold this year and just try not to pick any superhero movies. Oh, that's not fair. I ranked The Suicide Squad (2021) in my Top Ten. Oof. I definitely have some weird picks for things I'm getting kind of excited about, so let's go from there.

Untitled David O. Russell Project

November 4th, 2022

With a catchy title like that what can go wrong! I generally enjoy David O. Russell, particularly his recent output like JOY (2015) and American Hustle (2013), but somehow he hasn't directed a film since then. There is no indication of any kind of plot anywhere, but the cast is ridiculously hot right now, including Anna Taylor-Joy, Rami Malek, Margot Robbie, John David Washington, Zoe Saldana, and Timothy Olyphaunt. These were just my favourite actors, there's also Christian Bale, de Niro, Chris Rock for some reason. It's stupid. Will it be any good? Who knows, but it has my attention.

Bullet Train

July 15, 2022

This is Brad Pitt's first film post-Oscar and it comes from David Leitch, famous part of John Wick (2014)'s success. Atomic Blonde (2017) I actually thought left a lot to be desired just in terms of...having a plot, but his work with Deadpool 2 (2018) and Hobbes & Shaw (2019) is solid. I think this dude can at least handle action, and this movie is apparently about a bunch of assassins on a train fighting, I dunno, each other probably. The cast includes Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Joey King, Zazie Beetz and Brian Tyree Henry in an Atlanta reunion, and also Sandra Bullock for some reason (replacing Lady GaGa?!). I'm in. I like the idea of a bullet train being also filled with bullets. 2021 had a strange amount of train action, from Nobody, Shang-Chi, and Matrix Resurrections but it's a fun action medium. It goes fast, after all.

Nope

July 15, 2022

Jordan Peele has become an automatic hype director after Get Out (2017) and Us (2019), despite me generally disliking Key & Peele a lot. Is he just a horror guy instead? This reunites him with Dan Kaluuya, along with Keke Palmer and Steven Yeun. Not much to go on besides a poster that looks like a cloud sperm or something, but I'm definitely down for whatever racial but also just normal horror he has in store for us.

Moonfall

February 4, 2022

Listen...you may not know this about me, but I am all about movies where the moon falls out of the sky and on to earth. I have been workshopping a novel about it forever. Gravity gets messed up and we try to blow up the moon or whatever. I am so inexplicably and universally down for this. I saw this trailer when I watched Spider-Man and I was just like hell to the hell fucking yeah. Roland Emmerich making some stupid shit again. I don't care, this movie is going to be so dumb, but I love it. We are always at war with the moon. Crash that moon, baby!!

Don't Worry Darling

September 23, 2022

Olivia Wilde is an underrated actress and although she's only had one feature, Booksmart (2019), I dug that a lot. This is getting into deeper and more sinister thriller territory, but Wilde as an actress has bounced between lighter and darker roles and I'm confident she can handle a wide range. The main cast is Harry Styles and Florence Pugh as some kind of 1950s domestic mystery thriller with Chris Pine and Gemma Chan somehow also hanging out. My intrigue is definitely peaked and I hope this is cool.

Ambulance

April 8, 2022

Okay, fine. I said I didn't want to disappoint myself. But this trailer looks cool! It's Michael Bay doing Michael Bay things and the plot seems...really really unnecessarily complicated and it stars Jake Gyllenhaal and Yahya Abdul-Mateen II who I am so happy is becoming a buzzy actor after being by far the best part of Aquaman (2018). The Matrix Resurrections (2021) was terrible, but whatever, he was charming in it. This looks like the kind of original bombastic action film that was popular in the 90s. I am just very game for it. I wish it had a more distinctive title, though. Google is going to think I'm in sincere medical trouble when I keep searching for Ambulance.

Jackass Forever

February 4, 2022

Ahhh February 4th Jackass and Moonfall, eh? Sounds like a pretty sweet double feature to me! I am an unashamed Jackass fan and have been for twenty years now. It definitely fits into early 2000s nostalgia which is creepily peaking its head around our corner. I am a little curious if this is going to be any good. Surely these movies work because of the camaraderie of the cast and the outrageousness of the stunts, but everyone is like, well, WELL past their prime. Is it as fun to watch a bunch of 50 year old dudes goof on each other? It's also had its share of production woes, mostly centering around Bam Margera, who couldn't stay sober on set, but is now suing Paramount saying that was a ridiculous contract he had to sign that would force him to stay sober. It's a mess. I'm cool with Bam's absence, we don't need pranks on Granny April in 2022. But it does seem like it's a bullshit move on Paramount's part. I don't know, I really want to see this, I laughed harder at this trailer than half of the movies that came out last year.

The Northman

April 22nd, 2022

Robert Eggers is 2/2 with The VVitch (2015) and The Lighthouse (2019) and he's now combing those casts (at least Anna Taylor-Joy and Willem Dafoe) with Alex Skarsgard, Nicole Kidman, and Ethan Hawke into a movie about Viking revenge. There are three distinct badass moments in this trailer - the arrow to the king, catching the spear, and just jumping off a roof without a cut that are really spectacular. It looks clear and coherent with a simple narrative, but Eggers is just a master of metaphor and visual language. In his other works there's so much else going on and I am very excited to see what he does here.

Across the Spider-Verse Part 1

October 7th, 2022

Okay! Number one hyped movie of the year comes with some serious caveats. First, the directing team is totally different. Now, on Into the Spider-Verse (2018) we really just had a directing team from SONY Animation, including two first-time directors, so that shouldn't really be that jarring. The writing team is mostly intact (Phil Lord actually adds Chris Miller, who I didn't realize was absent from the first one) as is the production team.

The problem comes with the hype. Into the Spider-Verse was so stupid good that it's going to be hard to top. Making another movie in this sub-series a Spider-Verse film seems to be limiting Miles Morales to multi-verse stories, which also seems like a creative misfire without the impetus and originality from the first film. The big question is that facing all sequels - can lightning strike twice and can this film be as exciting, dynamic, fresh, and interesting as the first one? Especially when it's "Big Brother" live action No Way Home (2021) just basically did the same thing? It's as if this is the only story we have to tell about Spider-Man anymore (don't get twisted, this same thing has also happened in comics. And the 90s animated TV show).

Now - to be fair, this is all conjecture. We don't know anything about the plot except that there is some multi-dimensional traveling again and somehow Spider-Man 2099 is involved. And that's pretty much why this is still the #1 hype machine. First - the first film was THAT good and for as edge and 90s as it is, Spider-Man 2099 is just so damn cool. I'd like a whole movie set in Nueva York and figuring that out. Superhero sequels are generally good. They get passed all that baggage required from an origin story. Think Spider-Man 2 (2004), The Dark Knight (2008), The Winter Solider (2014), or even Superman II (1980)! But it could also be like Iron Man 2 (2010) or THOR: The Dark World (2013). We just don't know, but this hype train is rolling.

Other Crap

Okay, fine, so we had a superhero movie in there. And yeah, some big blockbuster type sequels. Should we be pumped for The Batman (2022)? I mean, I definitely am, but hesitant when they just keep saying that it's better than Batman Begins (2005). Not that I think the latter is sacrosanct, just that it feels like a trick you pull when you know your film sucks. Seriously, James Cameron tried to put his weight behind Dark Fate (2019), you can't really trust these people.

Anyway, Love & Thunder, Multiverse of Madness, Wakanda Forever, Aquaman and the Lost City of Gold, I dunno. I liked all these series. I just have a more warry eye. I'm assuredly not pumped for Lightyear, which still looks like a parody or Morbius, which exists for reasons I don't understand. I will believe The Flash is a movie that exists when I see it in theaters. Probably towards the end of the movie. Same with AVABAR 2. How did this sequel series get so blocked up, it's maddening. No one cares about AVABAR anymore.

Black Adam is interesting. The Rock is inspired, but like, this dude is a sincere villain, are they going to make him fight Zachary Levi? I feel like they will Venom-ify it and render him toothless. But it could be cool! Oh, sweet sweet razorcakes.

The last films I'm cautiously optimistic about are The 355 and Turning Red. The former has an interesting premise of women from various international spy agencies teaming up, but the trailer didn't really look all that catchy. Turning Red is a Pixar movie about a girl who turns into a giant red panda when she's flustered. Again, seems like an outstanding premise, but I wasn't all that impressed by the trailer that didn't necessarily push that premise into interesting territory. Oh well, could be cool, might suck, this is the world we live in.

What do you think?! What's your hype?! All MCU? Sound off!

The Funniest Movie of the Year for the Past 20 Years

Watching the atrocious Dumb and Dumber To (2014) has made me think a lot more about how great Dumb and Dumber (1994) is, which I'd consider one of the funniest movies of all time. But then I think about This is Spinal Tap (1984) or Blazing Saddles (1974) or The Jerk (1979) and have to reconsider. I think I can at least claim, however, that Dumb and Dumber is the funniest movie of 1994, which got me thinking - what movies can claim that title year by year? Comedy is always a subjective, contentious issue, so  take a look at my pics here and then feel free to troll the hell out of the comments:

1994: Dumb and Dumber

You could have figured this out by the heading of this post. There's very few more quotable comedies that are so keenly written in its dumbness. The plot is a loose construct for plenty of road-trip jokes but when it settles on Aspen and making fun of the erudite Colorado skiers, it really shines.

1995: Billy Madison

Between Madison and Happy Gilmore (1996) I always think this has an edge even if it's really just a prototypical man-child movie. There's so much subtle insanity to the world, though, which is constantly much stranger than Billy himself. From the sardonic High School principal to the unnecessarily lusty maid, there is so much more going on around Adam Sandler that pushes its modern surreal humour. Also every scene looks exactly like my Elementary School.

1996: Black Sheep

This was the first really difficult year. There are better comedy films out there for sure, like Kingpin or Fargo, but is anything funnier than Black Sheep? Kill whitey, hell no.

1997: Orgazmo

Austin Powers is the easy choice here, but to be honest, it's aged pretty poorly. And I still get hard when I hear those first few chords. Trey Parker and Matt Stone's humour was still developing here, but this is a surprisingly confident film full of shit like this that still cracks me up for no reason.

1998: The Big Lebowski

It's tempting to go with more late 90s efforts by the Farrellys or Matt and Trey, who dominated 90s humour, but when the Coens are on, they're on. The slow burn of how funny The Big Lebowski really is in undeniable, and while it may not necessarily be seen as a defining comedy movie (it does seem to defy genre), it's engrossing and endlessly re-watchable.

1999: Galaxy Quest

Going way outside the box, here, folks. American Pie is the most mainstream comedy of 1999 and Office Space is probably still the most relevant, but Galaxy Quest has put in its time, if only as an eerily canny Star Trek spoof. I just wish J.J. Abrams had seen it.

2000: O Brother, Where Art Thou?

Again, we have a pretty mainstream option in Meet the Parents here, but I can't tell you the last time I watched it, and despite renewed relevance through James Franco, I'm leaning towards Coens again, because Dude, Where's My Car? also just feels old.

2001: Zoolander

2001 is tough. Why is 2001 so tough? Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back may win on jokes, but it's not a very good movie, and the references wear thin. Wet Hot American Summer is also far more subtle, but is that a good thing? It's more conceptual than laugh-out-loud. It really hurts to knock off Super Troopers, but I've seen both recently and Zoolander just wins. By now it feels like it should be overrated, but it just wins.

2002: Jackass: The Movie

I feel like every year has one comedy that irks its way onto College Campuses and is seen enough to be quoted to death and revered without ever really being that good. In 2002 this was National Lampoon's Van Wilder, which has been diminished through a decade of sequels and knock-offs. I thought about going way outside the box with Kung Pow: Enter the Fist, but I'm not sure its anti-comedy holds up. So let's go with most laughs per minute.

2003: ELF

2003 is an incredible year for comedy, particularly Christmas flicks on either side of the spectrum - Bad Santa and ELF as well as Will Ferrell vehicles on either side of the spectrum - Old School and ELF. Let's split the difference and hit what's probably one of the more unique comedies on this list - an immortal, hilarious, at time subversive Christmas picture that also gave us a blonde Zooey Deschanel.

2004: Shaun of the Dead

Anchorman probably leads quotes, although Napoleon Dynamite can't be too far behind. It broke my heart not to give this to Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle, but there are far too many chuckly character moments in Shaun of the Dead that really hit on point to ignore it here.

2005: Wedding Crashers

There's a clear battle here between this and The 40-Year Old Virgin, but you need only to remember that first time you saw Wedding Crashers - it's the movie that made everyone involved a star and for damn good reason. Pre-critical mass Vince Vaughn is a spectacle to behold.

2006: Beerfest

For the longest time I informally considered Clerks 2 to be 2006's funniest movie, but I think it needs to step down to Beerfest, which has held up a little better. Clerks 2 mostly boils down to poor acting and a donkey show, which also echoes throughout Borat, which is a strong contender. I once called Borat one of the best films of the decade. It may now slide into that "enjoyable" slot (jeez look at that list on that page - you should no longer be surprised by most of these musings here), and I'm not sure I've revisited it all that much since.

2007: Superbad

This and Knocked Up felt so similar - sharing a similar cast and producers and coming out pretty close to each other, both being really funny and really surprising successes. I'm leaning towards Superbad being funnier, although you can switch the titles around in this paragraph and come to no stronger a conclusion.

2008: Tropic Thunder

An unsung contender here is Forgetting Sarah Marshall, which was a little quieter upon release, and has much better character work than just about any other film here, but I've got to hand the crown to Tropic Thunder, which blew me away upon release. Damn, I forgot about Pineapple Express...wait...what was I doing here?

2009: The Hangover

There's not really a debate here. I actually still think the sequel is funnier (even though it's, you know, the same movie), but The Hangover is a giant in 2009 and instantly entered that hall of immortal comedies. Hell, it even brought back Mike Tyson so he could be solving mysteries to this day.

2010: Get Him to the Greek

Tough call between this and The Other Guys - the latter may be more mainstream (is it?), but when you're comparing scenes between Mark Wahlberg and Sean Combs you know you've stumbled into a weird place. I want to go with this movie because I love every second of it, I already dissed Forgetting Sarah Marshall, and I listen to Infant Sorrow constantly.

2011: The Muppets

Here's another year where the two funniest films are on complete opposite ends of the spectrum. Bridesmaids holds a mean fight against The Muppets, but there's no "travel by map" in sight, so fuck that. It's tough to remember a theater experience laughing as hard as I did for The Muppets. Actually, I think I brought a flask to that one.

2012: The Campaign

I think that over time, 21 Jump Street has emerged the champion of 2012, and The Campaign sort of got swept under the rug, and I trashed it after I saw it for not taking a tough enough stand. Actually read that first paragraph, oh jeez. Comment on this one, folks. Two years down the road I think it's incredibly underrated, and an especially fitting team-up of Ferrell and Galifianakis who are gods of this yearly list.

2013: This is The End

Here is where I reached Muppets-level in-theater laughter without even a flask in hand! This is still one of my all-time favourite movies that I thought hit every note perfectly while having some really interesting things to say about the public personas of film actors. The Backstreet Boys ending still leaves something to be desired, but I can deal with it for the preceding ninety minutes of hilarity.

2014: 22 Jump Street

I've talked a lot about my problems with 22 Jump Street, I in fact, JUST talked about it, but it's still the funniest movie of the year by a wide margin. Neighbors comes close, and I'm curious which of these movies we're talking about a few years from now, but for now, it's all Jump Street.

Damn, is it Thanksgiving? What are you doing reading this? Go watch Planes, Trains, and Automobiles (1987) for goodness sake!

And argue away in the comments! This is especially ripe for discussion - do you think that even my contenders should be contenders?

Reconsidering Our Top Films From 2009 - 2012

I realized something important when perusing through all the films of 2013 while making my obligatory "Best Of" list this year - looking back on some of my selections filled me full of rage and shame. It's the tricky thing about lacking the benefit of hindsight - some films even from just a few years ago haven't held up, and others that I thought were trash have grown on me. So I decided to do some revisionist history here. I went back the past four years and looked at my Top 10 Lists from 2009 - 2012. Now, it may just be the fact that it hasn't really grown on me yet, but 2012 still looks pretty good. I may not be changing that too much. But you had better believe I'm scrapping the rest.

Here, with the benefit of digesting and discussing each film for a little while longer, are the new rankings:

Original 2009 List:

#10: AVABAR
#9: Observe and Report
#8: I Love You, Man
#7: The Great Buck Howard
#6: Up in the Air
#5: Funny People 
#4: Zombieland 
#3: A Serious Man
#2: Inglourious Basterds 
#1: District 9

This isn't altogether awful, and one reason I'm pumped for looking back at these things is remembering films such as The Great Buck Howard. That certainly isn't a flick though that I've really seen or thought about in four years. I can't even understand why AVABAR is here at all, I suppose that, even though I only placed it at #10, I was somewhat swept up in the sheer spectacle of its release, like literally, billions of other people worldwide. Four years on, though, I can judge it for how hollow it really is. So, here's my revised list:

Updated 2009 List:

#10: Where the Wild Things Are
#9: UP
#8: Observe and Report
#7: The Road
#6: Funny People
#5: The Hangover
#4: Adventureland
#3: The Hurt Locker
#2: A Serious Man
#1: Inglourious Basterds 

The good ninja wears white, of course

I was tempted to include other flicks like G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra, which is actually turned out to be one of the most enjoyable and re-watchable Sunday afternoon movies of the past five years. I just still couldn't really add it, though. I did add the most depressing film of all time, The Road, which I still think about, and Spike Jonze's Where the Wild Things Are, which really frustrated me by not meeting my expectations the first time I saw it, but also made me think a lot to figure it out. There were also some films whose greatness I didn't buy into in December, 2009 like The Hurt Locker and UP. Finally, the original installment of The Hangover deserves its place as one of the more tightly written comedies of the past decade, as well as one of the most debaucherous and influential.

Even though I think I Love You, Man did have some staying power, it's been overshadowed a bit by superior Paul Rudd buddy movies like Role Models (2008) and Dinner for Schmucks (2010). Even though I still love Zombieland, I do think that continued permutations of the zombie genre have lessened the tremendously fresh impact it had on me. Finally I scrapped my #1 pick, District 9 just because, ultimately four and a half years on, I don't really care about it other than the fact that at the time it was an astoundingly new movie. Maybe Elysium (2013) drained the appreciation of its unique aesthetics out of me.

Original 2010 List:

#10: Exit Through the Gift Shop
#9: Toy Story 3
#8: Cyrus
#7: True Grit
#6: Hot Tub Time Machine
#5: Scott Pilgrim vs. the World
#4: Black Swan
#3: MacGruber 
#2: Inception
#1: The Social Network

Updated 2010 List:

#10: Exit Through the Gift Shop
#9: Black Swan
#8: Get Low
#7: Jackass 3D
#6: The Other Guys
#5: Get Him to the Greek
#4: Scott Pilgrim vs. the World
#3: Hot Tub Time Machine
#2: Inception
#1: The Social Network

Featuring Grammy Award-winning robots

My horrible blockbuster that I actually think is pretty decent now is going to be Tron: Legacy. I can also watch that just about any time of the year. Looking back on it now, I'm surprised how many great comedies came out of 2010. Even though I did really dig MacGruber, it definitely didn't stay with me as much as Get Him to the Greek or The Other Guys did. I was tempted to also throw in Dinner for Schmucks, but I think that has some years to go before it overtakes anyone. I also don't think anyone cares about Cyrus, and even though it was pretty epic, I've found I haven't really cared about Toy Story 3 since that summer three years ago, which isn't really true for other Pixar films like UP or Brave (2012).

I had this really odd debate within myself whether to include Get Low or Easy A. They really couldn't be farther apart. Ultimately thought I think it may be a pretty good movie, Easy A just went down too easy for me. Eh. So I threw in Jackass 3D, because it's still one of the best 3D experiences I've ever had at the multiplex (how many blogs use that terminology), and one of the finest uses of slow motion technology ever. You'll note that my #1 and #2 selections haven't changed. I still think those are the tits.

Original 2011 List:

#11: A Dangerous Method
#10: Hugo
#9: The Rise of the Planet of the Apes
#8: The Descendants
#7: The Artist
#6: The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo 
#5: Bridesmaids
#4: Attack the Block
#3: Rango
#2: Drive
#1: Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy

Updated 2011 List:

#11: X-Men: First Class
#10: Bridesmaids
#9: Fast Five
#8: The Tree of Life
#7: The Descendants
#6: The Rise of the Planet of the Apes
#5: Moneyball
#4: Attack the Block
#3: The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
#2: The Muppets
#1: Rango

Mostly because I can't get over
the name, Imogen Poots.

There were a lot of great films in 2011 as I'm looking back on it, now. My rainy day film is the vastly underrated Fright Night, while we wait for underappreciated comedies like Hall Pass, The Sitter, and Our Idiot Brother to mature. I also remember really digging Johnny Depp in The Rum Diary at the time, but I can't say I've really thought about it since. Let me also hit you quick with Cedar Rapids, Midnight in Paris, and Contagion that all really tied for the #11 spot, but haven't really been relevant since. So, I've thrown out a lot of the overhyped Oscar-bait muck here and added some of the finest blockbusters that have emerged in the past couple years, including Fast Five and X-Men: First Class.

I'm not so sure about The Tree of Life, but I still think it's worth noting, even if some of its fire may have dissipated. I still love everything on here, and as Jonah Hill's brand gets stronger, so does Moneyball. And yes, I ranked The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo right next to The Muppets. There's no accounting for my taste in film.

Original 2012 List:

#10: Haywire
#9: Silver Linings Playbook
#8: The Grey
#7: Argo
#6: Looper
#5: Lincoln
#4: 21 Jump Street
#3: The Cabin in the Woods
#2: Django Unchained
#1: The Master

Updated 2012 List:

#10: The Grey
#9: Ruby Sparks
#8: The Dark Knight Rises
#7: Dredd
#6: Zero Dark Thirty
#5: Seven Psychopaths
#4: 21 Jump Street
#3: Goon
#2: Django Unchained 
#1: The Master

Escape from Space!

My total underrated good time romp is clearly Guy Pearce having the time of his life in Lockout, which is as 80s throwback as you're going to get. This year wasn't as strong for immortal comedies, although I might contend that The Campaign does its part. So I swapped out a bunch of those Oscar Winners that I don't care about any more for some that seemed more prescient - Zero Dark Thirty and Dredd, of course. And even though The Cabin in the Woods was a game-changer and remains one of my favorite films of the year, I couldn't see myself watching it again after knowing the twist. That being said, I have replayed the twist's dire aftereffects countless times on YouTube. To be honest, the same goes for Looper. It was an incredible movie, but do we care in 2014?

Goon ended up being my favorite movie of the year, and it's a delight to watch every hockey season. Alongside fare like The Grey, I added the intricate, surprising romantic comedy Ruby Sparks. I was tempted to add Moonrise Kingdom, but it's a bit too much like The Midnight Coterie of Sinister Intruders. Finally, with all this other nonsense, I thought The Dark Knight Rises proved itself to be at the top of the superhero game and deserves that recognition here. Bane was a bigger threat than the Joker in a better movie. Deal with that.

2014 Oscar Nominations and Predictions - Let the Crapshoot Begin!

After sitting on the Academy Award Nominations for a week I think I'm really on to something here. No, it will be a crapshoot as always. My best year predicting winners was 2012, where I scored 16/24. Last year I got 14 correct. But this year! This year, my friends, I am going to bat 1.000. I swear.

The Oscars are kind of pointless, though, you know? The best film of the year doesn't win - the film that best positions itself in the hearts and minds of voters wins. And honestly, how many of you are out there re-watching, quoting or even still thinking about The King's Speech (2010), The Artist (2011), or even Argo (2012)? Oscars don't prove quality, longevity, or cultural significance. Then why bother with this at all? Because of huge heapings of arbitrary self-importance, that's why - and for the slim chance that future DVD releases Bad Grandpa can label it as an Oscar-winning film. Let's begin.

Best picture
12 Years a Slave
The Wolf of Wall Street
Captain Phillips
Her
American Hustle
Gravity
Dallas Buyers Club
Nebraska
Philomena

Predicted Winner: 12 Years a Slave

This is ending up being a pretty heated race between Slave, Hustle, and Gravity. I may be more inclined to suggest Hustle as the forerunner right now based on its impressive runs at he SAG. Then again, you've got Slave tying Gravity at the PGAs. It's a mess. I'm inclined that the large acting section of the Academy leans towards 12 Years a Slave more than Cuaron's film. It's also had the most buzz since September. Still, this is wide open.

Best director
Steve McQueen: 12 Years a Slave
David O. Russell: American Hustle
Alfonso Cuaron: Gravity
Alexander Payne: Nebraska
Martin Scorsese: The Wolf of Wall Street

Predicted Winner: Alfonso Cuaron

We'll have a better idea of this after the DGAs this weekend. I am predicting a split between Best Picture and Director, with Cuaron nailing this for the complex filmmaking experience of Gravity, as well as a bit of a consolation prize for losing Best Picture. This could easily be completely reversed.

Best actor
Bruce Dern: Nebraska
Chiwetel Ejiofor: 12 Years a Slave
Matthew McConaughey: Dallas Buyers Club
Leonardo DiCaprio: The Wolf of Wall Street
Christian Bale: American Hustle

Predicted Winner: Matthew McConaughey

We're truly in an age of McConaughey. Not only is the dude playing exactly the kind of role the Academy digs (historical biopic tangling a tough issue that also involved a ton of weight loss), he pulled it out of his own recently resurgent persona. Despite some damn good competition, he's also been rolling in the awards like the good ol' boy he is. Let the McConaissance reign.

Best actress
Amy Adams: American Hustle
Cate Blanchett: Blue Jasmine
Judi Dench: Philomena
Sandra Bullock: Gravity
Meryl Streep: August: Osage County

Predicted Winner: Cate Blanchette

This may be the oldest batch of Best Actress nominees in years, and so it comes with some tremendous pedigree. Everyone here except for Amy already owns a gold statue, although Cate and Judi don't have a Best Actress one. This is looking more and more like Cate's race to lose, though it's really one of the movies with a lower profile on this list.

Best supporting actor
Barkhad Abdi: Captain Phillips
Bradley Cooper: American Hustle
Jonah Hill: The Wolf of Wall Street
Jared Leto: Dallas Buyers Club
Michael Fassbender: 12 Years a Slave

Predicted Winner: Jared Leto

After an awkward Golden Globes acceptance speech, Leto has righted his ship a bit after the SAGs. There isn't a ton of suspense here, although Fassbender deserves to sneak in for the upset. I still think Jonah Hill deserves this one for going absolutely crazy, and his analogous character in Goodfellas (1990) did earn Joe Pesci a statue. I think this still has a bit of wiggle room, but for now Leto is the safe bet.

Best supporting actress
Jennifer Lawrence: American Hustle
Lupita Nyong'o: 12 Years a Slave
June Squibb: Nebraska
Julia Roberts: August: Osage County
Sally Hawkins: Blue Jasmine

Predicted Winner: Lupita Nyong'o

This is really coming down to Nyong'o vs. J-Law, and they couldn't be happier. Seriously. Nyong'o gave the sort of breathless performance that is really deserving of this, and it's tough to argue that Lawrence did a better job here than in Silver Linings Playbook (2012), which you have to compare her to. Then again, Christoph Waltz basically turned in two identical characters (albeit on different sides of good and evil) that earned him two statues, so you know the Academy likes cozying up to people it likes. This goes back and forth a bit, but right now it's Nyong'o's to lose.

Best original screenplay
American Hustle: David O. Russell and Eric Warren Singer
Blue Jasmine: Woody Allen
Her: Spike Jonze
Nebraska: Bob Nelson
Dallas Buyers Club: Craig Borten and Melisa Wallack

Predicted Winner: American Hustle

I think that this will serve as a nice consolation for Hustle after it loses Best Picture and Best Director, although despite its recent gains, it's headed in the opposite direction of positive attention online lately as it something like Her, which both nabbed this award at the Golden Globes and just had this nifty documentary put out by Lance Bangs. I think that Her is a much more interesting film, one that will stand the test of time better, and even one that is better written, but like I said, none of that matters.

Best adapted screenplay
12 Years a Slave: John Ridley
Before Midnight: Julie Delpy, Ethan Hawke and Richard Linklater
The Wolf of Wall Street: Terence Winter
Captain Phillips: Billy Ray
Philomena: Steve Coogan and Jeff Pope

Predicted Winner: 12 Years a Slave

This isn't that difficult to figure out. Although Wolf is probably the steepest competition, the praise (or hate) of this film hasn't really been in the writing. Slave is slow and meditating, but the dialogue is punctured and real, which is impressive considering it takes place 170 years ago.

Best animated feature
The Wind Rises
Frozen
Despicable Me 2
Ernest & Celestine
The Croods

Predicted Winner: Frozen

If the Academy leans towards Miyazaki, who has never really been acknowledged by the organization, I can see The Wind Rises grabbing this. Frozen, however, is just far to easy to nominate and adore for it to go home in this category empty-handed. Notably absent is Pixar's effort for 2013, Monsters University, which perhaps signifies that their dominance in this category is truly over.

Best foreign feature
The Hunt (Denmark)
The Broken Circle Breakdown (Belgium)
The Great Beauty (Italy)
Omar (Palestinian territories)
The Missing Picture (Cambodia)

Predicted Winner: The Great Beauty

The Great Beauty is getting more praise and buzz than anyone else in this group, and after it won over Blue is the Warmest Color (2013) at the Golden Globes it's almost a sure thing here. Of course, I know nothing about the rest of these nominees to even guess a possible upset, but shouldn't that suggest that The Great Beauty is destined for more greatness?

Best documentary feature
The Act of Killing
20 Feet From Stardom
The Square
Cutie and the Boxer
Dirty Wars

Predicted Winner: An Act of Killing

I was also surprised that Blackfish (2013) was snubbed here after it actually made some waves (oh ho!) in people's actual lives and attitudes like few movies, let alone documentaries actually do on a wide level. Maybe after The Cove (2009) the Academy thought it had already honoured enough documentary subjects concerning people endangering aquatic mammals. I say, it's never enough. An Act of Killing has the second most buzz of any doc this year. Let's go with that.

Best production design
12 Years a Slave: Adam Stockhausen and Alice Baker
The Great Gatsby: Catherine Martin and Beverley Dunn
American Hustle: Judy Becker and Heather Loeffler
Gravity: Andy Nicholson, Rosie Goodwin and Joanne Woollard
Her: K.K. Barrett and Gene Serdena

Predicted Winner: The Great Gatsby

Many are predicting Gatsby here, which is shaping up to be that weird kind of shitty movie that racks up bizarre quasi-technical awards like this and costuming. If Gravity or Slave start rolling, though, this is an easy pick-up on the way to a sweep.

Best cinematography
Gravity: Emmanuel Lubezki
Inside Llewyn Davis: Bruno Delbonnel
Nebraska: Phedon Papamichael
Prisoners: Roger Deakins
The Grandmaster: Phillippe Le Sourd

Predicted Winner: Emmanuel Lubezki

I would have immediately thought this one would go to Sean Bobbit for 12 Years a Slave for the gorgeous way that picture looked, but he's no where to be found. There's a nice nod to Roger Deakins here, who hasn't won an Academy Award in 11 nominations, including his favored work last year for Skyfall (2012). Lubezki, though, isn't really a slouch either, with five nominations and no wins. If the Academy really feels like they slighted Deakins last year he may walk away with this, but if you play the odds, he's got to lose, right?

Best costume design
The Great Gatsby: Catherine Martin
12 Years a Slave: Patricia Norris
The Grandmaster: William Chang Suk Ping
American Hustle: Michael Wilkinson
The Invisible Woman: Michael O'Connor

Predicted Winner: American Hustle

This is another one of those categories that Gatsby may walk away with, especially because it's looking to turn into one of those doofy Anna Karenina (2012) - kind of flicks that dominates these categories. It's just good enough to be popular and respected, but not really of the cut for Best Picture. Even with all that, though I'm going out and suggesting that Hustle pulls a mild upset here and gets some recognition for the all-around insanity that was their hair, make-up, and outfits. No hair and makeup nods, so here you go.

Best film editing
Gravity: Alfonso Cuaron, Mark Sanger
12 Years a Slave: Joe Walker
Captain Phillips: Christopher Rouse
American Hustle: Jay Cassidy, Crispin Struthers and Alan Baumgarten
Dallas Buyers Club: John Mac McMurphy and Martin Pensa

Predicted Winner: Gravity

I don;t think there is much competition here - Gravity could win really from its lack of editing, as Cuaron likes to do. He could be one of those rare individuals to go home with two separate statues on the same night, which seems likely. Really, Cuaron has been making crazy good films for years, mostly thanks to his editing style, and this should serve as a nice acknowledgement for that.

Best makeup and hairstyling
The Lone Ranger: Joel Harlow and Gloria Pasqua-Casny
Jackass Presents: Bad Grandpa: Stephen Prouty
Dallas Buyers Club: Adruitha Lee and Robin Mathews

Predicted Winner: Dallas Buyers Club

So, yeah, Bad Grandpa needs to win this and Johnny Knoxville needs to collect the award as Irving Zissman. The much safer bet is the more prestigious Dallas Buyers Club, though, with the other films being a bit lowly for the Academy to acknowledge in its stead. Still, I have said for years how surprisingly good the Jackass old people make-up is and how much studios can learn from them. Will that be credited? This is the biggest award of the night.

Best music (original score)
Gravity: Steven Price
Philomena: Alexandre Desplat
The Book Thief: John Williams
Saving Mr. Banks: Thomas Newman
Her: William Butler and Owen Pallett

Predicted Winner: Gravity

There's no obvious great score from this list, but Gravity is certainly the film with the highest profile. It's tough to picture Her leaving with nothing, though, and if Hustle succeeds in snatching its Original Screenplay award, I can see it pulling a little upset here. How many points do I get for conditional picks?

Best music (original song)
Frozen: "Let it Go" by Robert Lopez and Kristen Anderson-Lopez
Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom: "Ordinary Love" by U2, Paul Hewson
Her: "The Moon Song" by Karen O, Spike Jonze
Despicable Me 2: "Happy" by Pharrell Williams
Alone Yet Not Alone: "Alone Yet Not Alone" by Bruce Broughton, Dennis Spiegel

Predicted Winner: "Let it Go"

C'mon "Let it Go"....Bono doesn't need another award. "Let it Go" is actually the perfect Oscar song - it's important in the context of the film, stands as an integral character and plot moment, and is actually fun to listen on its own weeks after the film hit theaters. It was also on the number one album in the country for a bit there - upstaging Beyonce deserves an Oscar, folks. I am scared to death that this goes to Bono, basically because he's the New York Yankees of Awards Winning. And such a piece of shit.

Best sound editing
Gravity
All Is Lost
Captain Phillips
Lone Survivor
The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug

Predicted Winner: Gravity

So we're approaching "default to Gravity" mode with these technical categories. The arrangment of sound is pretty spectacular in the space epic and this is definitely in the vein of other winners that were pretty epic in scope like Skyfall, Inception (2010), and The Dark Knight (2008). Thank goodness the Academy finally got a big accessible sort of sci-fi movie that wasn't really trying to be a blockbuster to through all these kinds of awards at this year.

Best sound mixing
Gravity
Captain Phillips
Lone Survivor
Inside Llewyn Davis
The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug

Predicted Winner: Gravity

There is some possibility that Inside Llewyn Davis saves face here after not getting any other nomination(Not even for "Please Mr, Kennedy"), but if no one liked it enough to be nominated, no one's going to like it enough for it to win anything. Winners for Mixing don't always match up with winners for Editing, but they usually do for the big blockbuster-y type films and Gravity ought to clean this out, too. And to think, The Desolation of Smaug may have actually stood a chance.

Best visual effects
Gravity
The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug
Star Trek Into Darkness
Iron Man 3
The Lone Ranger

Predicted Winner: Gravity

Speaking of Smaug, that's about Gravity's only competition here. The effects for everything else aren't even that good - at least Pacific Rim really wowed us. But if Gravity deserves any statue this night, it's for the absolutely mind-blowing special effects that made this a worthwhile film to see in theaters and only in theaters. Let's do it, Hollywood.

Best short film, live action
"Aquel No Era Yo" (That Wasn't Me)
"Avant Que De Tout Perdre" (Just Before Losing Everything)
"Helium"
"Pitaako Mun Kaikki Hoitaa?" (Do I Have to Take Care of Everything?)
"The Voorman Problem"

Predicted Winner: "The Voorman Problem"

Time for the super-crapshoots. I like that name, Voorman. Sounds good. Why is there so many foreign entries this year? Go Voorman.

Best short film, animated
"Feral"
"Get a Horse!"
"Mr. Hublot"
"Possessions"
"Room on the Broom"

Predicted Winner: "Get a Horse!"

"Get a Horse!" played before Frozen and was actually a really engaging piece of meta-film that played with and contrasted black and white filmmaking with computer animated 3D work effortlessly, uniquely, and quickly. It was also pretty funny. It's almost too clever for its own good with the amount of creativity the characters display while using the strengths and limitations of their own medium to thwart or help each other. It rules and will win.

Best documentary short
"CaveDigger"
"Facing Fear"
"Karama Has No Walls"
"The Lady in Number 6: Music Saved My Life"
"Prison Terminal: The Last Days of Private Jack Hall"

Predicted Winner: "The Lady in Number 6: Music Saved My Life"

Hy-ohhhhh!!!

So there you have it folks. I guarantee this list to be 100% accurate come March 2nd. Actually just about everything can change. If I bat .500 I'm pretty excited. Now let's all drink to our own self-congratulation.

War of the Months: October

Welcome once again folks to War of the Months, NMW's year-long assessment of the best and brightest movies that have been released each month. As the wind is blowing, leaves falling and little unloved bastard children go door to door soliciting candy while the final hours of October tick away, we take a look at this 10th month of Ghouls and Goblins.

October: Terrortown Month

October is generally an awful month at the movies. After all, there are a lot of other distractions like Football Games, school and Halloween to think about. There isn't a whole lot of reason to go to the movies. That said, there are some really quality films that have emerged from this month, but typically they're niche enough to avoid any serious box office bank.

October Dinero: Ghost in the Closet

There isn't a whole lot here. October has the second worse aggregate box office of the year, only beaten in futility by September. The greatest October ever was 2009 on the backs of such dynamos as Couple Retreat, Where the Wild Things Are, Zombieland and Michael Jackson's This is It. There was also the sleeper Paranormal Activity that really beefed up the bank of this month.

Since then October has really been saved by Paranormal Activity. The most recent sequel grossed $52,568,183 for the biggest October weekend ever. Other great weekends in this horrible month are taken by Jackass 3-D (2010), Scary Movie 3 (2003) and Shark Tale (2004). Ouch. There are plenty of other Horror Movies, of course, such as Paranormal Activity 2 (2010), The Grudge (2004), Red Dragon (2002) and High School Musical 3: Senior Year (2008). These flicks are obviously only intended for the brave of heart.

Before Paranormal Activity secured October it was really pushed on the back of the Saw franchise, and before that The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003 and 1974 versions actually), I Know What You Did Last Summer (1997) and stretching back further you've got all the Halloween movies, but curiously no Friday the 13th or Nightmare on Elm Street has ever been an October release. Needless to say, when a month banks on Horror, it's not going to be breaking many records. Horror is profitable for studios because they're cheap to produce and the best tend to be culturally iconic (leading to a lifetime of merchandising) but the money isn't going to be made in theaters.

October Quality Control: Somehow Excellent

With all this said, there is actually many great October Films out there. It's really right on the eve of Oscar Season and so there's easildy a few that slip in there among the all-time greats.

#10: Reservoir Dogs - 10/23/1992
#9: Leaving Las Vegas - 10/27/1995
#8: Fight Club - 10/15/1999
#7: Glengarry Glen Ross - 10/02/1992
#6: Training Day - 10/05/2001
#5: The Prestige - 10/20/2006
#4: The Terminator - 10/26/1984
#3: The Social Network - 10/01/2010
#2: The Departed - 10/06/2006
#1: Pulp Fiction -10/14/1994

Other notable films released this month include Good Night and Good Luck (2005), Kill Bill Vol. 1 (2003) (Quentin cleans up this month), Mystic River (2003), Meet the Parents (2000), American History X (1998) and even First Blood (1982). It's also interesting to point out that Clerks (1994) was released within weeks of Pulp Fiction and Kevin Smith owns October with Mallrats (1995) as well.

This is also an insane month for cult hits, including Zombieland (2009), Across the Universe (2007), Primer (2004), Donnie Darko (2001), Being John Malkovich (1999) and Boogie Nights (1997). Finally this month is home to two Trey Parker creations, Team America: World Police (2004) and Orgazmo (1998) as well as three of my all-time personal favourite films, My Name is Bruce (2008), Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang (2005) and Jackass: The Movie (2002). Yep. Like I said, October isn't going to get a lot of money at the box office, but there are a ton of good movies that have come out of this month, most that no one has ever really heard of - exactly what cripples its dinero.