rest in peace.

hey uitm.

thanks for giving me headache.
for the bad traffic this morning, for the many assignments, for all the projects,
i cant thank u enough.

dah la xde parking, pastu byk keje lg, pastu bole brangan nak amek more students lg in the near future. gle kot. haihhh, we only have 24 hours in a day and like hell, there will be not enough time to do evrything. EVRYTHING. classes finish at 6 everyday and the routine starts all over again. bosannnnnnya. stresss aku ni hah. seriously, my mom is coming over this weekend and i dont know whether i can see her or not because with all the work, law , bel and stuff, i dont know whether i have time to even go see her. i'll try to make it ok ma. are u reading this mother? still reading it? haha.

last week was fun, not much work to do and more and more and more of fun. i guess now its time to start studying and start working. i better have some lunch now or else, ill turn into a monster. i am so pissed off with Uitm somehow.

//hahahhahaah. God is great. God is really really great.

its all about balancing.

hello everyone. its been a while since i last blogged. honestly, i hv been out of the zone for a while. trying to adjust with things. i know i said that i dont care, i have moved on and bla bla bla. its not that i am not, its just that how can i do so when the proof is in front of me , reminding me constantly on how i am being betrayed. sometimes it is more painful than anyone can ever imagine but most of the times, it's nothing.

now tell me something. how can i stop thinking when there will always be news about him? hearing about him? damn it!

haha. yesterday was V-day and it doesnt make any much different pon la. i was supposed to study but turned out, zakian asked me out. we went to Sunway and the traffic was really horrible! it took us half an hour to just get the parking. my god! we wanted to go skating but unfortunately, the ice rink was closed at 5pm because there was a wedding on ice last night. i bet they met at the ice rink, once upon a time ago. haha. i have been playing all week long and i think i should be studying now. tetapi sgt malasss daa. 20% is a lot to be fooling around. oh yeah, one more thing, i am really pissed with the fact that chris brown has beaten up rihanna. haha. now the concert is postponed and there is a possibility that it may be cancelled because she cancelled her jakarta date which is only a day before our date. i reeeeaaaaalllyyyy wanna go see her concert. ELLLA, elllaaaa, elllaaaaaa. best gleee! hish chris brown ni kot ye po nak pukul , pukul la pas abes concert. i better go take a shower now and start studying and perhaps, i'll post another post when i am freeeeeee.

more than just those 8-letter word.

bridewars. it wasnt as fun as i thought i would be. just another chick flick. just another movie. i watched it with alia and fafa last night at OU. usually those kinds of movie would make me feel like marrying someone haha but that one didnt.

and so the cat is out of the bag now. i think so. i hope its not a bad thing. part of me is saying, its not right but part of me is saying, i did the right thing. why does it have to be so confusing and complicated? i really dont know and its hard to figure out what you want when the choices are not so clear and things are always twisted apart. help me figure things out will you? tmoro will be another adventure and i cant wait to experience it. it's a bit hard, pls understand that will you?
goshhh.

if only. if only. if only. if only. if only. if only.

tribute to my entourage! haha

yeah they make fun of you , ALL THE TIME!

but they will always be there for you!

*byk lg gambar nak upload like pictures with zakian and sarah and all but im not using my my laptop so i hope these will do for now and i hope the message is delivered to everyone. u guys will always make my day because you are all the funniest people i have ever known. haha *

its not always about you.

many things have i learned during my 2o years of living on earth, or at least 19 years and 3 months, precisely. its not always about you. there are billions and billions and billions of people living on this earth and i am not saying our presence here on earth are not important because we contribute to the growing numbers of people that are alive but we are definitely not the center of the earth. just when i thought i am hurting emotionally, other people in other continents are hurting physically and most of the times, it is a lot worse. probably i will need time to actually heal, inside but they need time to heal outside. people can see that they are bleeding and hurting by the minute. Exhibit A , people in Gaza. i bet they are hurting, in pain, after being attacked by the soldiers and everything. they lost their family, their house, their property, the loved ones, and so much more. here we are, living in a peaceful country,( minus the Perak's situation which was a bit chaotic for the past few days ) we have so much to offer and we are still complaining. i know i am still complaining. UITM this and UITM that, this person this and this person that, why this , why that and more.i guess we should just appreciate what we have now. don't wait till its gone to actually miss that the thing is gone.

someone said that if people dont know me they'd say that my heart is broken into millions of pieces and i am really down and anything related to that, just by reading my post. i am fine but just at times, when the timing is really bad, you tend to go up and down a bit. i just write things that effects me emotionally, at the moment. come to think of it, i was only betrayed by a friend and a-really-complicated-guy. i bet there are others who are going through some deeper shit that i am having now. left after a few years for some bimbos, married another person after 10 years of marriage and 3 kids, the husband died in an accident, failed the final exams, busted by the parents for having sex, etc. my problem is just a minor one and i can live with it, or so i have said that many many times. but i cant help but miss him duhhh. hehe.

what im trying to say is , i am glad i have people to help me get through things. my friends everywhere have been really amazing and they build up my support system. thanks guys for always being there for me.

*all of these came after watching 13 episodes of lipstick jungle straight. yes, i watched it straight.they are 3 bestfriends who will support each other, through thick and thin without being afraid to raise their voice at each other. i am happy to say, i have that but in a much bigger scale. haha*

one of those days.

8.40pm kolej melati.

surprisingly, at 8.40pm in Melati, i am getting the wireless. probably, its not too crowded tonight. i am doing my bel's assignment and it is sooo boring! arguments and claims and conclusion for critical thinking. i dont think that we are matured enough to take this course. everyone is going mental because of this particular subject. its not fun at all. but if we have to do it, then we have to do it.

moving on with some unnecessary issues, i am getting a lot of news lately from around the block. mind you, its not important but it's irritating. im glad one of the things that i wished for earlier is coming true and its coming to live. i guess she won. i am HAPPY i am not the winner. haha. let their new story begin. but still, it is so annoying man!

i cant wait for next weekend. its a long weekend and maybe we're going to bagan lalang. yey! i miss ampang laaa. gtg! i hv lots of work!

i survived!

it's 3.34am in the morning and we are still not asleep. haha. Hannah gi tido laaa. muka dah mcm sembam gle. haha. we were supposed to study but it's too distracting to study now. songs, internet, chatting, pictures, and food. we're in melati right now. melati sounds very interesting right but it's not.

i came back this morning at 6am and i was all alone and suddenly i remembered a story told by a friend. cte hantu la kan. about pocong. hahaha. nevermind, i slept well till 12pm. something happened this morning though. an accident. i was in it. i was with a friend. salmi, she's an architechture student. we reached the bus station at around 5.50am and immediately, we waited for a cab. soon after that, we had this old fella saying ' uitm uitm uitm'. so, the normal reaction would be to go inside the cab and we did. he drove quite fast knowing that there was no traffic. i supposed he was sleepy, he missed the BIG uitm entrance gate. until he almost reached baiduri he asked us ' nak pegi uitm kan? knape xckp?' we were all stunned and did not know what to say because the gate is way too big for anyone to miss it. there were 4 of us. 3 girls and one boy. so he made a u-turn in front of uitm and he was speeding towards the roundabout. right then, he tried to slow down a bit but he failed. the next thing i know the car hit the right curb on the right lane of the road. we hit the big signboard that says 'shah alam' i think. the car was crashed. the right tire was gone already. pecah or something. i am fine but i could feel my right calf hurting right now. salmi's right knee had some bruises. and the kakak next to her was quite injured. she hit her head on the windows and was like bengong kejap. sounds funny but it's not. i bet she's still hurting right now. so we got out of the taxi and another taxi picked us up and sent us back to our own colleges. the best part was the young cab driver was talking non stop about the old cab driver. that's when i know his name is 'pak kassim' . i think he's sleepy. thats why. so, this young man, sent us and he charged us more than what he should. basically, he picked us up from the roundabout. i really thought he was doing the old guy favour. i mean, its 6am in the morning and being a rational citizen, you wouldnt take advantage over an old man. have some sense pls! so i paid the guy his money and rushed to my room. i called my mom and told her the whole story. she was worried sick. but i am fine, mama and papa. Alhamdulillah nothing bad happened.

so, that's the tragedy of the day. haha. ignore the grammatical error, i am too excited to tell you guys the story. haha

//u did not send me but thank god i made it through last night. imagine if something else were to happen. i am not asking for the bad things to happen but i am curious. how would you feel my dear?