To you its just a house, to me its home.

Second post of the night. Wohoo. Do I have anything important to say? No, but can I just write freely? Yes. Thank you. This blog has never let me down. Hehe.

So, what do I have in mind? Nothing. I am in Bangi tonight, I went to check on the new house. Mom wants me to make sure that it is "danger-free" when the tenant comes in next month. It breaks my heart a little that someone else will get to live inside the house first but its just not practical for my parents to be moving now and none of us wants to live it in, not just yet. To leave my house in Kedah is another matter, my heart will be shattered into millions, gazzillions and trillions of pieces. I grew up there. I grew up there. Alright, I just wanted to stress that out, I grew up there. Growing up, explaining to people where I was from was almost a problem. My parents came from different states. My dad was born in Kedah but he grew up in Penang while my mom was born and bred in Johor. I was born in Kuantan and then we moved to Kedah when I was three years old. I speak Malay with normal KL slang when I am at home because my mom banned us from speaking in Kedah slang when we are at home. Thus, we can only speak bahasa Kedah when we are with our friends. So, now, when anyone asks me where am I from? What should I answer? I am almost 22. Haha but this question, it is never an easy one. To explain the whole thing is quite troublesome, but if I say I am from Kedah but I don't talk with the slang, then it's like I am 'belagak' or something like that. I don't know. To explain about my cousins would be another set of different stories lah. Haha.

It's not a serious matter, but its a small matter that can be very confusing. I will miss the house that I've been calling home for the past 19 years, when I leave it behind. I miss it more now, as I am typing it. Mom is missing me, I can tell you that. She missed me a lot. I miss you too, Mummy.

Ahh, the house in Kedah means a lot. A lot.

Click it like you mean it.

Sometimes, I click a link without thinking, like I just did. I clicked the 'Open all' link from the history and all the recent links popped up. I am so used to that. I do things without thinking. Sometimes with just a mere thought, sometimes with too much thoughts of it, and most of the times, without none of it. Perhaps, I am immune to it. It, being anything available at the moment. Random, I know. Lately, time has been moving so slowly. If you ask me three months back, every thing happened in a blink of an eye but now, it seems like God wants me to enjoy every moment of every single thing. He wants me to breathe the air with passion and let it go, freely. I am, taking every moment into consideration, but of course, most of time, without thinking. I just think about the moment, the fun I can suck out of it but seldom about the consequences. When I lay things on the invisible ground I created, I can see all the things I don't want in life clearly, but I can hardly see the things that I want in life anymore. I am a girl with so many dreams and wants in life, I used to be a girl with so many wants and dreams in life but now, I feel like all the dreams and wants are hanging on a cliff and I am ready to let it go at any second now. Give me a pen and a piece of paper, let me list down all my needs and wants in life but, I will just write it down for the sake of writing it down and not because I really want them. Anymore. Three months back, I will give you a definite plan when I am down with my Degree. Leave everything behind, go to US, take a bus to Nashville, go see Taylor Swift's management and ask for any kind of vacancy on her tour ( I swear this was a definite plan), work with Starbucks, let loose for a month or two, make myself happy even if that means I have to use all my savings. That was the plan but now, the plan needs to be reconstructed and I need to figure things out. God, this sounds so serious. I know. Probably because the environment that I am in right now. Right now. Maybe ( I hope so ) when I leave all of this serious environment, I will be in  my jolly mindset again.

But, oh come on, nothing is so serious now. I am easily amazed with life. Just that right now, I have no definite plan to fall back on to. Everything and everyone is moving forward. I don't wanna be kept in the past, even if I am. I am slowly catching up and I am slowly bringing the past forward, to the future. I will.

Ps : I am going to Justin Bieber this Thursday. How serious can I be?

5.30pm, off we go.

I guess I do make it pretty clear that I like/want/will go back at 5.45pm or 6 plus-ish. It's not that I have made any kind of statement but I think it's quite clear that I intend to go back at the normal intern/VT time. Its not about the amount of pay that I get, I can claim for overtime, but I've never done it before. I've got only one reason behind it. I will stay back and work for real, when the time comes, provided that I join them in the future. Truth is, I like what I'm doing minus the dead lines. I like it because it is truly what I am learning in my university life. It's like I took my book and translate them into the working paper. It's the same thing and I feel worth it. Worth for all the learning that I did, even if I don't remember them (most of it). So, if any of my seniors are reading this ( I really hope not), this is why I am keen on going back early, on time. I will try to finish everything that you guys give, all the tasks and all the work between 8.30am to 5.50pm (max, or more, I am quite flexible. Hehe). I wouldn't mind staying longer if I am a permanent worker. When the time comes, I will work just as hard.

But, if you guys are wondering, I've gone back at 8.30pm. That was the longest I've stayed la because the next day, I took a 2 day leave for Ms Swifty :) Hehe. But yeah, I am flexible but given a choice, I choose my social life because right now, I still have a choice. That's why.

Different set of people gives me different views in life.

I couldn't sleep properly last night, thinking about what time should I wake up. Should I wake up at 7am or perhaps, 11am? Sleeping, thinking and worrying all at the same time. Why did I even sleep in the first place? Oh yeah, I have been so tired this week. I am trying to see how it is if I was working and trying to have a social life at the same time. Pfttt. During the week, I carpooled with Aqilah Ratna, Nazreen and Sharifah for 3 days, which was very entertaining as always. We rant and vent in the car about work most of the time, how everyone is still shivering when they talk to their superiors. I found some funny things while I was being 'passed' to another department this week. I am as nervous as hell when I talk to my manager, then I never thought that I'd seen her as nervous as I am when she talks to her boss. Haha. It's like, finally, we were going through the same thing yeaaa... Haha.

Then, on Wednesday night, we ( Me, Intan, Aloyah, Erks and his classmates ) went out all the way to SS2 Kelana Jaya just to eat durian. Boy, I've never seen that kind of dedication. Haha. I mean, the boy can really eat his durian eh. Terror ah.

And my parents came in the middle of the week because my uncle was admitted on Wednesday night. I hope he gets better soon. We are all praying for you, Pak Kar.

Anyway, I better take a shower now. The little sister wants sushi and I have to take her out for it. Toodles guys!