Now THAT's F---ing D&D

All right, this is a TV post. And it's going to be about that damn Game of Thrones show. And, yes, it's going to have *SPOILERS* If that matters to you, you've been warned.

[yes, I'm still watching The Defenders on Netflix, and I have a LOT to say about it. Unfortunately, I keep falling asleep while watching it, mainly because I'm doing it late at night after looong days of heavy manual labor. I'm tempted to post a picture of the home project, but it probably won't do justice to how labor intensive it is. POINT IS: I'll get to The Defenders. Just probably not in a timely matter]

There's a lot of "good TV" on HBO these days, by which I mean "quality entertainment." It comes in a variety of forms. I enjoy Veep because I've worked in government and while it may seem (to the private sector) like House of Cards ("hello, conspiracy theorists") there's a lot of it that's just absurdist dumb-fuckery and political aggrandizing (which Veep pokes fun at). There's Ballers, which is similar to the crack that was Sex in the City, except for football fans; most of it depicts fairly awful people, but Dwayne Johnson may have the most powerful charisma of anyone living in America today...he's just so damn watchable, everything he touches turns to gold (he's like Tom Cruise in that way). There's John Oliver's watered-down version of The Daily Show (and I haven't watched much Daily Show for about a decade now for, well, *reasons*) which is great because, with the state of the news, once a week is about the extent of which I can stomach a close examination of what's going on in my nation. And then there's Insecure, the creation of writer/director/actor Issa Rae, an incredibly talented individual. Her show is one of the best things on television at the moment...it's like the newest iteration of awesome comedy (like what Arrested Development was, except that it's on HBO instead of FOX, so it won't be f'd over and preempted for the lowest common denominator).

[I'm sure some would crucify me for saying this, BUT even though I'm a white dude in Seattle, there's a lot in Insecure I can relate to. Except, of course, being black in America (and dealing with all that means). Fact of the matter is, Rae is smashing many "accepted stereotypes," both within the drama of her show (and its portrait of black lives) and in Hollywood itself (what can be accomplished by an individual who is outside the regular norms). Plus, she's funny as hell...Issa Rae is a 21st century friggin' Lucille Ball]

But whatever...yes, yes, there's mucho good TV shows on the "boob-tube" these days; plenty of shows that are ready to suck your precious, precious time and interest and keep you from doing something constructive with you lives. Most of you already know that...I won't insult your intelligence or anything. But can I just say a few words about Game of Thrones? Please?

How frigging awesome is this show?

Sure. There are a lot of neat things in it. Fantasy tropes. Special effects. Good acting. Big battle scenes. Drama. Violence. T&A. Pick your fancy, Tolkien geeks. Martin's stuff is a lot better than Robert Jordan (or so I gather...I haven't actually read Jordan, but my brother gave me a scathing review of The Eye of the World, and I value his opinion)...but we already knew that. That's not what I wanted to gush about. Certainly, not about George R. R. Martin.

For those who don't know, the GoT television series was originally based on Martin's multi-book saga; now, however, it has surpassed the novels he's written, and the show's creators are writing episodes based on his "notes" and using their own continuity (they started going "off-book" early on, due to the constraints inherent in the television media). They...the creators...have taken those notes and run with it, outdoing themselves again and again, both in terms of spectacle and drama. It's wonderful to watch...and even more so because it's soooo "D&D."

Last week's episode..."oh, we're going on a quest"...was about as D&D as it gets. But THIS week, we actually got to see the "quest:" a bunch of frigging miscreants trudging across a snowy wasteland, snarking at each other, really doing something epic'ly stupid, plus guys getting mauled by an undead cave bear...all that is frigging D&D. Old school D&D...the oldest, really.

Sandor Clegane ("the Hound") reminds me of so many D&D players characters I have known. So, so many.

And Melodrama. Most of us (including me) use the term fast and loose, rather than its original, theatrical definition. Just high drama inspiring high emotion. Oh boy. This is melodrama. Peter Dinklage (damn the camera loves that guy...his charisma is on par with the Rock) entreating, begging the Dragon Queen not to fly off to the rescue? So good...so good.

And Daenerys herself. Again, I've known (in game) platinum haired demigoddesses like her...not dragon riders, no, but characters just as magnificent in their power, trying to do the right thing, torn between their heart and their "duty." And, no, never with anything so serious as a kingdom or continent at stake...nothing so bad as a zombie apocalypse on the horizon. But when you're playing The Game...when you're really playing it hard...you create those stakes in your mind. In the shared imagination of the players.

Let me say this: in last week's episode, when the principal characters are standing around the table in the war room coming up with some incredibly half-assed plan to go north and hijack a fucking wight? THAT is D&D, my friends. That is the kind of bullshit ideas players are always coming up with. This week? Getting trapped on an f'ing island of ice, surrounded by a multitude of undead? THAT is the kind of predicament PCs are always getting their sorry asses into, trying to follow some half-assed bullshit plan. It is soooo D&D, because (just like real life) we often fuck ourselves into some stupid problem that we shouldn't have. All the frigging time.

I love it.

I love watching it. It's fun. These days, it's not all T&A and lingering camera shots (as in earlier seasons). It reminds me of some of my best D&D sessions (both as a player and a DM). Half-assed and melodramatic. Inciting the zombies to attack by throwing stones. Ordering your hirelings around. Watching the cleric die and wondering who's going to raise you now (since the dead cleric obviously can't raise himself). Negotiating who gets the magic sword, and justifying the decision with in-game fluff.

If this were D&D,
I'd be a dwarf.

I love it. It pokes my "D&D nostalgia" buttons as hard as anything does. Not that I haven't been on the edge of tears lately anyway. The kids have been gone for more than a week. I've been doing a lot of heavy labor around the house. I'm stressed the fam will come back and the work won't be done, plus the school year's starting up soon and I have that to think about. I'm half-shattered at the moment...the escapism of Game of Thrones is something incredibly valuable to me at this particular moment. Damn, it's good...if only for reasons that appeal to me. And right now, that's just fine and dandy.

[I also want to say this: cool as Jon Snow is (and who doesn't think he's cool?) I've never run a character like him (PC or NPC). While I admire the brooding, Saturnian dude with twenty pounds of honor in a ten pound bag, that was never my shtick. I was usually the one-eyed guy who'd been resurrected six or seven times. And usually blondish in hair color]

So many D&Disms (this week's episode is playing on my TV for the second time while I type this). I find myself trying to pick out alignments for the various characters. Jon is obviously Lawful Good. Arya Stark is pretty clearly Neutral Evil. Cannot get a read on Sansa to save my life at the moment. Daenerys is Neutral Good. Jeez...it makes me want to pull out the old DMG and read Gygax's descriptions and fit them to all the characters. That would actually be fun (for me anyway).

Maybe tomorrow.
: )

Well, Crap.

Do I need to say something about DriveThruRPG's new policy regarding offensive content?

Probably. But I'll keep it short.

As I grow older I find myself tending to become more conservative regarding a number of issues that, in the past, I was uber-liberal regarding. It happens, especially after you have a couple kids and you want to protect them from the insanity of the world that they, at this moment, are totally unequipped to deal with.

Even so, I understand that the best thing I can do to protect them is to provide good parenting, acting as a "gatekeeper" (of sorts) while they're young, and arming them mentally with good information and supplemental education drawn from my own experiences and reflections. Do I want my children to be pack-a-day chain-smokers (as I was for a decade)? No, of course not. But there's little I can do to stop them once they come of age...should they choose that path. The best I can do is model what I consider "right behavior" (I haven't purposefully put anything in my lungs besides air for 14 years), and share my experiences and knowledge, hoping that they'll make decisions that are beneficial rather than detrimental (for themselves and others).

It is unfortunate that there is a market for things that are, well, terrible in my opinion. Check out the documentary Hot Girls Wanted regarding the "professional amateur" porn industry. I disagree with some of the people interviewees that they are simply "fulfilling a market demand;" I believe it is possible to create market demand. But once that demand has been created, it's a pretty tough thing to turn off. The Prohibition of alcohol in the 1920s failed dramatically and, as far as I can tell, the War on Drugs is a continued failure after 30+ years of effort. Will banning something "bad" (physically, spiritually) stop people from wanting it? Generally speaking, no. And for many folks, forbidding something automatically ups the attraction of the thing.

I think I can honestly say that, 25 years ago, I would be doing all in my power to buy a book called Tournament of Rapists...just to see what's inside...the same way that, at age 11 or 12, I was doing my damnedest to get a copy of Purple Rain to hear the song Darling Nikki. And in retrospect, I'm glad I did, since the music of Prince is excellent and has led to much enjoyment over the years.

Ridiculously inappropriate.

The same could not be said of 2 Live Crew's As Nasty As They Wanna Be. It yielded a couple afternoon's worth of interest before being quickly forgotten, except anecdotally. At least it didn't permanently scar me or transform me into a misogynist. But, then, I had some good core values instilled by good parents...I don't think any piece of artwork (good or bad) could've overwritten my basic "programming."

So...I suppose I'm on the side of anti-censorship. But I'm not about to go all nuclear about it. DriveThruRPG is a private business, and they are allowed to cater to their customer base in a way that allows them to best make money and survive. If hot-button books are a turn-off for the people they wish as their clientele, I think it's fair for them to do some policing on behalf of their target demographic...Reader's Digest doesn't publish the same jokes as Hustler, after all. Having said that, I find myself disagreeing with part of their reaction, namely their intent to:

code more customer-facing options to allow customers to report potentially offensive content to us.

I would think the proper method of gatekeeping would be the way they responded to the complaints regarding Tournament of Rapists: allow offended folks to contact DTRPG and then follow-up with scrutiny (against company policy) and dialogue (when appropriate). Giving the public a "This Offends Me" button, seems a little too prone to abuse and/or overreaction misuse.

And that's as much as I want to say on the subject.

The Right to Dream

No I am not talking about simulationism…B/X play is all about the “step on up,” anyway.

No, I want to relay an anecdote from my past that has naught to do with role-playing but a bit to do with where my mind has been wandering.

They say it takes a thick skin to be an actor. I consider this to be a half-truth. It takes f’ing BULLET-PROOF skin to be an actor…at least if you plan on making a living at it. Sure luck helps: being in the right place at the right time or being born with the right look or right connections. But mainly, it’s about being bullet-proof.

Now there are other, extenuating reasons why I didn’t pursue my acting after college (I won’t go into ‘em all right now), and I am far from bullet-proof, but I am incredibly thick-skinned. Astrologically, I am a Scorpio, and while I am as sensitive to criticism under my crusty shell as any of the water signs (Cancer and Pisces), I also have a Scorpio’s ego which goes a long way towards reinforcing my psychic defenses. But I’ve known others who weren’t so stubborn, nor care-free.

One guy, call him "Phil," was in my graduating class, and the only other male to graduate that year with a degree in dramatic arts (‘course, there was only four of us total that year). And oh man did he want to be an actor. And oh man was he terrible. Just terrible.

He was so bad, and he was so damn sincere that other folks in the drama department felt well and truly hurt on his behalf. And when he was drunk (as actor-students often are…at the ends of show runs, for example) and he would ask us, “tell me honestly, do you think I can make it?” and we knew, we KNEW he wasn’t bullet-proof, wasn’t even CLOSE…ugh, what the hell were we supposed to say?

Now some of us (like me) were in the department because we truly wanted to be in the theater and performing arts and were serious about our craft. But I don’t think ANY of us besides Phil (including me!) had any delusions that we were bound for fame and fortune. None of us were talking about moving to Los Angeles or New York, and at the time Seattle was the #3 city for theater anyway (and by now, may have passed up Chicago for #2).

But Phil wanted to shoot the moon. In our last show before graduation, he somehow managed to find Tom Skerritt’s phone number. Remember Tom Skerritt? From Top Gun and Growing Pains (or whatever that sitcom was that he was in)? Well, he lives (or did live) in Seattle at the time. And Phil got hold of him and begged and pleaded for him to come to our show and see us perform.

We were actually running TWO shows that quarter…I was starring in A Sleep of Prisoners by Chris Fry, and Phil had a fairly substantial role in a Phoenix Too Frequent. I actually got fairly rave reviews myself, but as my show ran 2nd (right after intermission) and most of the time we’d only be playing to a small handful of people in the audience (the students that were forced to attend for their art classes)…most of the crowd hit the door after Phoenix.

I remember the night Tom Skerritt was supposed to come. Phil was SOOO excited…he talked incessantly about it before hand, and was totally pumped up (I, on the other hand, was listening to Green Day on the headphones to get jazzed). At intermission and after the second show ended, Phil prowled the lobby looking for Skerritt, to no avail. Either he, too, had snuck out at the break, or (more likely) he simply failed to show to a production of college students in a venue that wasn’t even a theater (this was long before Seattle University opened its multi-million dollar dedicated theater in conjunction with Intiman).

Phil was crushed. And at the after-party he got very drunk. And you could see...I could see…that deep in his heart he knew, he KNEW it was all a pipe dream. For him anyway. And it was a crushing, crushing defeat.

And was that even the truth? Who’s to say that if he had simply continued to act…in anything and everything…and continued taking training and lessons that he wouldn’t get somewhere? I certainly don’t know…but the last I hear Phil had long given up the acting dream and was pushing papers around a desk, just like me. The guy wasn’t bullet-proof; hell, he wasn’t even thick-skinned.

Why am I relating all this? ‘Cause working on the B/X Companion, trying to stand on the shoulders of giants (and I don’t just mean the Founding Fathers…I’m talking about ALL the game designers and publishers that have actually created amazing material), sometimes I wonder if I am completely self-delusional myself...just like Phil. Am I fooling myself that anyone is going to like what I’ve written or want to play (let alone purchase) my product? Even if I throw money into this production, am I going to sell five copies that get universally panned and spit on around the internet?

Shit…is MY skin getting thin…like my hair line?!

F That Noise. I ain’t bullet-proof, but I’m familiar with this particular mind game. I AM going to put out the best damn product I can, period. I am in unfamiliar territory, but I’m going to try to be humble and ask others for help, as I can. Hell, I BELIEVE in this product…I AM willing to put some money where my mouth is. These scary shadows flitting around the back of my mind…well, hell, I don’t think ANYone is truly immune to worry and second-guessing. But it’s part of the cross of being an intellectual that I over-think and go down roads of self-doubt.

Folks, I’m going to do the best I can…that’s all I can do. I, too, have a right to dream. Sure it may be big, ambitious, and Lord Knows unrealistic, but it’s my dream and it’s a pretty one. I’m going to enjoy it as much as possible and I really, really hope some of you want to come along for the ride.

Prost.