How Harry Potter Ruined Literature

Well, not all literature, of course. Just children's literature.

As part of the "clean up" of my mother's estate, I've had to go through all her worldly possessions, the vast bulk of which were retained in the house in which she lived the last 45 years. My mother was not one to throw things out that might retain usefulness...and far less likely to do so for anything of sentimental value...and so I've found plenty of possessions that I recall her having owned since BEFORE we moved into the house where she lived the majority of her life (i.e. the house my family moved to when I was four years old). Hell, I've found things from before MY time, carefully preserved, in boxes, chest, dressers, etc.  An old steamer trunk contained not only her wedding veil, but the top piece from her wedding cake and (what I can only presume is) a  saved piece of the cake itself. A cedar "hope chest" containing mementoes of her childhood, including her own childhood journals, diaries, and scrap books. 75 years of life saved...her own, her family's, those of myself and my brother.

And, of course, books. My family..on my mother's side...has always been readers and lovers of books. I own shelves and shelves of books in my own home...more than half a dozen stuffed full. My mother had twice as many, most of which go from floor to ceiling, some shelves having two rows of books (one in front of the other)...and then there are cardboard boxes, crates, filled with other books (carefully organized by author or genre) that she probably intended for donation, having found a need to clear shelf space (to make room for new volumes). 

Going through the books in my mother's home, I have come across shelves containing my own books...books from my youth, books that I haven't read since I was a child of 10 or 11 or younger. Most of these slim paperbacks, the kinds of books one (once) found on the shelves of school and public libraries designated for young readers. Adventures or mysteries or (subdued) science fiction featuring young (kid or teen) protagonists. What I used to think of as typical kids reading. Many of these...especially anything with a detective or mystery or "horror" (think "ghost story") theme I've collected for my daughter, who struggles to find books that pique (let alone hold) her interest. 

And I realized something the other day as I collected these books and showed them to my nine year old and saw her delight and excitement...I realized just how different children's books are these days. The books that I used to read...regardless of the genre, regardless of supernatural or fantastical elements that they might include...were still just about kids. Normal everyday kids. Kids thrust into strange situations or experiencing dramatic circumstances, but kids readily identifiable as normal children. 

NOT individuals suddenly discovering that they have "magic powers" and are destined to go to wizard school to learn why they speak to snakes. NOT kids who are descended from Greek gods. NOT kids who have been trained since birth to become super spies covertly working for MI6 or the CIA as soon as they hit puberty. NOT children endowed with wealth and resources and family legacies of secret societies.

In other words, NOT the protagonists of the various popular kids books...or, rather, series of books...that line the shelves of Barnes & Noble and that my son (and the few kids we know that might read as voraciously as my son) tends to read. Kids' literature these days are not about a normal child having to deal with an extraordinary turn of events...instead, they are stories of extraordinary, fantastical "children" dealing with the burden of being some sort of "Chosen One" figure.

WTF.

Frankly, it made me (and makes me) more and more irritated the more I think about it. Yes, the Pevensie children of C.S. Lewis's The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe are destined to become the High Kings and Queens or Cair Paravel, but only after starting as normal everyday children and undergoing incredible experiences. They are quite ordinary in many respects, and the children of Lewis's later Narnia chronicles are even MORE ordinary...just normal kids trying to get by in spite of the weirdness of their surroundings. The same holds true for Baum's Dorothy Gale...folks of Oz may presume Dorothy has some magical powers or abilities, but Dorothy herself operates under no such delusion. 

But those aren't the books I'm talking about anyway. Those take place in Narnia or Oz or whatever...most of the children's books I'm talking about take place on real world Earth with normal kids that discover an extra-terrestrial or a treasure map or a haunted castle or whatever. Normal kids with normal kid issues (family, school, whatever) in addition to whatever circumstances the author of the book throws at them...and forced to find inner resolve or ingenuity or courage or determination or whatever to deal with that extraordinary situation as a normal child in addition to dealing with the standard kid issues of family, school, etc.  

In REAL fashion. Not just casting a spell on your parents to make them forget you exist so you can go off and fight evil with your wand.

I'm sorry...I know a lot of my readers are probably twenty-plus years younger than myself and grew up reading and loving Rowling's books. I've never liked them all that much. And their incredible success has fueled trends in children's literature that I dislike immensely. Call me an old curmudgeon (I call myself one anyway).

Just wanted to get that all off my chest.

Reclamation Project

Despite my recent posts on running campaigns, I have to say I'm not in a position at the moment to actually start up a campaign. Not really. And that's okay! Because: A) I now have some NEW ideas about how to run/manage a campaign (based on my recent reflections) that give me a hopeful "pathway" to what I'm looking for, and B) My "position" (with regard to running a campaign) may well be turning around in the near future; there's a light at the end of that particular tunnel.

However: not now and not yet.

In the meantime, I've got a new idea buzzing around in this bonnet of mine and given how (in the past) those have morphed into some of my best ideas (maybe...it feels like that's the case, though I haven't been keeping count) I've decided to bat it around a bit and see what comes of it. Though I know it's going to bore and/or irritate the hell out of some of my readers.

Dragonlance. That's what I'm talking about.

First, the preamble: my actual knowledge of Dragonlance only goes so deep. Here's the summary of it: I read the first two trilogies (when they were first published). My friend owned a handful of the old TSR adventure modules, but we never ran any of them. I read one or two of the later short story anthologies, maybe played an "Endless Quest" book or two based in the DL setting, and have (in recent years) read/skimmed many of the old 1st edition modules. Anything else Dragonlance related (later books/stories, SAGA edition DL, conversions and setting books for 3E - 5E etc.) makes no nevermind to me; I have ZERO interest in ANY of it.

And the reason I have ZERO interest in it is this: it's all a goddamn cash grab. The first six novels aren't great; they have a certain nostalgic value to me that I'd compare to what my 30-some year old readers have in their relationship with Harry Potter (I've read the Potter books and find them to be...mostly...trash; however, they weren't published till I was an adult and kids who grew up with them will always have a special place in their hearts for Rowling's series). But once the War of the Lance was over (i.e. gods returned to Krynn, balance restored) and the "matter of Raistlin" settled, the story for me was over. I did not need to know anything about the children (or children's children) of the original protagonists or any of that...that's the same kind of BS that leads to a continuing Star Wars saga that must always feature Skywalker-Solo-Palpatine relatives. 

[and I'm not just talking about Episodes VII - IX. I'm talking about the entire "Expanded Universe" of books and novels and comics and whatnot...the merchandising machine that is the Star Wars franchise]

I'm not terribly interested in IP franchises. Some are more interesting than others, sure. But mostly I find them as callously and/or ill-thought out ways to fleece fans out of money. And while I may sound cynical with my derogatory tone and terms, I'm just trying to acknowledge the facts of the world: that's how this stuff works these days. 

• Someone creates something that is a labor of love. 
• It achieves an enormous popularity. 
• Creators make some money. 
• Corporation buys creation for exorbitant sum. 
• Corporation milks creation in order to profit from investment. 

That's fine and dandy (I mean, it's the model we're stuck with) but that doesn't mean I'm required to "buy in" and read up on the "Chaos Wars" or the further adventures of Kronin Thistleknot or whatever. And since I'm not required, I'm choosing to opt out.

*AHEM* Preamble out of the way. So why am I looking at Dragonlance again? Welp, I was checking up on some of my old fave podcasts and saw the Boiz from Alabamia (ggnore) are still at it, and most recently have been running through DL1: Dragons of Despair. This being one of the DL modules I actually own (and being from a formative stage of D&D's evolution) I was more than a little excited to give it a listen and see how THEY handled it...especially given their penchant for "rage-quitting" every time they attempt to run a typical WotC "adventure arc" (DL being the original railroad campaign). Figured I'd check it out.

And how'd it turn out? Meh, mostly. The ggnore guys are highly amusing/entertaining, but the adventure itself was pretty mediocre. And mostly that's because the adventure itself is pretty mediocre (or worse)...though I will be the first to admit that 5th edition (which the kids use to run the game) bug the shit out of me, and is a constant source of annoyance. But I'm aware that's my hangup...and even I liked 5E it wouldn't change my opinion of the module as a module.

But if anything (this is the ridiculous part), listening to the failure or a "straight take" on Dragonlance As Written (DAW) fires me up to rehabilitate the damn thing. As I said: ridiculous. But I keep thinking about (and re-reading) GusL's old posts on the subject...and I keep thinking DL isn't that bad. Actually, it's better than "not bad:" it's downright intriguing, if one is willing to divorce it from the overall narrative structure, and from the adventure modules' attempts to execute that narrative structure within an illusionary "D&D campaign."

Post-apocalyptic fantasy world is great, in other words! For one thing (and I admit this is completely selfish of me), one can totally explain the fantasy world landscape to be "screwed up" with regard to things like geography and population centers being outside of realistic paradigms. Why is this ruined seaport town in a desert? Because of the Cataclysm! Why is this empire broken up over multiple islands? Because of the Cataclysm! It all made sense before the world was hit by a divine meteor strike...duh!

SO...here's what I'm thinking: I'm going to take a couple "exploratory steps" which (at the moment...very late at night over here) will look something like this:

Step 1: Dispense with the sundry. Boil the setting history down into a couple paragraphs. Most everything "historical" about Krynn (its basic timeline) will be myths, legends, and half-truths at best. It's a post Cataclysm world and no one really knows why there are dwarves and gnomes (for example) or why the gods abandoned the world...and it doesn't really matter. Survival does.

Step 2: REALLY dispense with the sundry. There are no "Heroes of the Lance" (Raistlin, Tanis, all those folks)...at least not as "player characters." Major NPCs (especially antagonists and allies) will be retained, though with more realistic bios and motivations...no mustache-twirling villains! Fortunately, most of the characters ARE pretty good (if one uses the later novels as a guide)...they just need a little polishing. NPCs that become "heroes" in the books (and PCs in the modules: Laurana, Gilthanas, Gunther, etc.) will probably skip the development arcs of the Hickman/Weiss novels. But no great plot-armored "heroes with destinies;" they're all dead in ditches somewhere (yes, even Riverwind and Gold Moon...Jesus, the whole "barbarian plainsman" thing really needs a re-skin!).

Step 3: Correct one or two missteps. I've written before about my issues with the gold and religion "tweaks" in the DL campaign setting. These will need to be rethought and corrected. I like the idea of spell-less clerics (or, rather, the idea of spell-casting clerics as "expandable content" to the setting), but it needs a little reworking as presented. No, Elistan does not simply show up as a 7th level "true cleric." Un-uh. And basic issues of economy and fungible types of exchange will be better worked out when I work through the post-apocalyptic world and the population centers that exist. I haven't decided on kender, yet...or even draconians. I mean, are they (draconians) really necessary? A whole 'nother topic.

Step 4: Overhaul a module or two. Not nearly as gruesome a task as it sounds; mainly consists of editing out the bulk of the useless (flavor text, railroad arcs, pre-gen PCs, and moralistic motivations) and see what's left...I'm guessing it will look something like a handful of maps, some NPC placements (lairs, villages, and whatnot), and some kind of timeline with regard to movements and logistics of the Dragon Army. Ideally, I'd like to strip down the 12 modules that made up the original saga (DL1-4, 6-10, and 12-14) to get a general outline of the coordination of the "Krynn Conquest" and use that as the basis of play. 

The more I think about it, the more I want to do it. But man o man, it is LATE and I really need to get some sleep...there's been a lot less than normal this week, if you can imagine. Maybe I'm just a bit loopy.

; )

F is for Flying Carpet

[over the course of the month of April, I shall be posting a topic for each letter of the alphabet, sequentially, for every day of the week except Sunday. Our topic for this year's #AtoZchallenge? Revamping the Grand Duchy of Karameikos in a way that doesn't disregard its B/X roots]

F is for Flying Carpet, specifically Flying Carpet Airlines of Karameikos.

[okay, let's get this over with...I've got a very full schedule this weekend with baseball games, soccer jamborees, wedding anniversaries (mine), etc.]

Flying Carpet Airlines or (as it's actually called in the books) "Cardia's Carpet Service," like the Elvenguard, appears to be a wholly Mentzer-imagined invention. As far as I can tell, it's first mention is in Mentzer's expert book as part of the Travel from Karameikos section, in which he writes:

"Those in a hurry may wish to consider Cardia's Carpet Service. She is a well-known elf with a flying carpet (heavily armed and rumored to contain pockets of holding). She can take up to two passengers, but reservations are required. The cost is 2 gp/person/mile for 2 passengers, of 5 gp/person/mile for one. The journey from Threshold to Specularum can be flown in one day. She also makes regular trips to Kelven, Selenica, and even Kerendas, but rarely stops at Krakatos and never goes to Luln or Fort Doom..."

There's a little more to the description, but no hard stats are provided for Cardia. She appears again in module B10: Night's Dark Terror (part of the adventure occurs in and around Threshold), but again without stats...it seems Cardia is simply supposed to be part of the scenery, a necessary source of fast travel for footsore adventurers. I mean, certainly no PC would ever think of ambushing her and looting a flying carpet for their own use...good Heavens! That would be so Chaotic!

We'll leave the talk about BECMI's implied morality for another day; there's enough to chew on here with just a chartered flying carpet (available for a flat daily rate of 500 gp!). This...THIS...is the kind of thing I absolutely hated about Glantri, and probably one of the reasons I find Harry Potter's "wizarding world" so annoying: the transformation of magic into something mundane and commonplace, taking away (certainly reducing) any sense of wonder and mystery.

[I'm sorry Potter fans, but if you're using magic to wash your dishes or dispose of your own feces that's the opposite of what I call "magical." Is a toilet magical? To a stone age human, perhaps...but we're not playing cavemen here]

Part of this comes from a simple issue present in most of Dungeons & Dragons: the original game was meant to be hard and challenging, and so many of its rewards (especially magic items) were left without consequences. You fought and dodged and braved untold dangers to get that carpet (or whatever)...now you're going to make me sacrifice a fist-sized ruby or some virgin babe just to activate the thing? Up yours, man! Unfortunately, without some consequences...largely left to the DM...there's no repercussions for pulling out your powerful magic item every time someone with 100 g.p. decides they'd rather fly Threshold to Kelvin nonstop.

There should be consequences, of course: not only flying monsters - like dragons - who should burn Cardia out of the sky (wandering monster chances in the wilderness are pretty common), but also thieves, unscrupulous nobles, and local money-men willing to hire thugs and mercenaries to kill this well-known "entrepreneur." Elves have to sleep sometime (and it should be a simple matter to find her residence when she advertises "Cardia's Carpet Service" on the sign outside). Elves have to eat (and if she's at the local tavern, how hard would it be to slip some poison into her meal?). How much is a flying carpet worth to a person? How much would it cost to hire the assassins needed to take Cardia out? I'm surprised the carpet hasn't already been confiscated by the Ducal Guard (at Stefan's orders) for "the good of the realm." Having a flying carpet in his personal treasury would be far more valuable than any taxes she might be paying.

And, you see, the fact that these kinds of things should have ALREADY HAPPENED long before the player characters ever decided to become adventurers, is what bugs the hell out of me. Mentzer just blithely says "oh, here it is, been operating forever." This is the kind of thing that a DM might throw into her campaign one day when the PCs have been adventuring for a while and have reached a point in their careers that maybe the inconvenience of overland travel to distant locations kind of sucks. But to make it a part of the local retail scene from the get go? Come on, dude. At least if you introduced such an NPC later you could justify her as having powerful friends (the PCs) who would take umbrage if she went mysteriously missing one day. The local baron of Threshold (Patriarch Sherlane) has more important things to worry about than one elf...like running his damn domain.

I can't find any reference to Cardia in Allston's GAZ1 (draw what conclusions you will) though she is back again in the 2nd Edition Karameikos: Kingdom of Adventure (as an 8th level "rogue"...jeez). As stated, there's no such individual mentioned in B/X (i.e. pre-BECMI) sources, so the easiest way to "revamp" this eyesore is simply to cut it from your B/X game...perhaps introducing the NPC Cardia sometime later as an adventure hook when a young, stupid elf decides to open up her "carpet business" and requires protection (or armed escort on her excursions!). That might not be too bad.

If you really want a flying service in your game there are better ways to go than something so mundane as an elf with a flying carpet running a local travel agency. D&D needs to be a little weird and gonzo with this kind of thing if it wants to retain/promote a feeling of wonder and the fantastical. Some possible ideas:

On a smaller scale.

Option #1: a mad hermit / wizard / inventor lives in the forest outside of town where he can tinker with his contraptions in peace (he's been warned off more than once by the locals). His prize possession is his airship: a monstrous conglomerations of whirling gears, pipes belching noxious fumes, and skins inflated with hot air or fantasy hydrogen/helium. Perhaps it was the opus of his now deceased inventor/wizard wife (and he's not quite clear on all its workings); perhaps it's still a "work-in-progress." Regardless, the thing is prone to breakdowns and malfunctions every time he takes to the air...though when it does work, it can make fast time AND tends to scare off most wandering flyers (not dragons, of course...they see it as a challenge to their territory). He can be persuaded to give the PCs a lift...for the right price.

"Just need a couple
of eggs, ma'am."

Option #2: animal trainers (500 g.p. per month; see page X21) that specialize in griffons can be hard to find, but one lives on the outskirts of Threshold, and griffons are known to roost in the mountains just north of the town. Finding eggs and bringing them back safely would certainly be a good adventure; though it might take years before the creature was grown well enough to train for riding. The beast master might already have a few trained adults on-hand that can be hired for (short) rides; however, griffons are notoriously difficult and feisty beasts; they cannot be purchased, housebroken, or kept as pets (and you certainly wouldn't bring them into town!). Even so, they are extremely valuable and any damage that occurs to the animals while "on loan" will need to be paid for before any further services are provided by the trainer.

Have bow, will travel.

Option #3: I kind of dig the witches of Phillip Pullman's His Dark Materials trilogy. Is there any way to get them in the mix? Maybe stashing their community in the western forests of Karameikos, making them a hard-to-find, hard-to-reach, dangerous (and aloof) faction?

Option #4: Stefan has decided he needs his own "ducal air guard" if he is going to be respected by the likes of Thyatia and Alphatia (or simply because he needs to protect his realm from flying menaces). Problem is, he has no real idea of how to put together a flying force. Any such squad is going to be a small and motley crew at best...the archduke does not have the resources to invest in a team of enchanters to make magical devices (let alone any pegasi trainers). It's a good hook to get player characters involved...even if they don't have the means to fly themselves, they can earn a "finders fee" for helping to bring in wizard airships, griffon eggs, and witch archers. And maybe in the process they'll discover (or enchant) their own flying devices and swear allegiance to the archduke. Hey there, flyboy!
; )

The Worst Witch

Apropos of nothing...

The kids and I checked out the new Netflix series, The Worst Witch, based on Jill Murphy's children's books (which we haven't read). Starring Bella "I-kick-ass-on-Game-of-Thrones" Ramsey as the young first year student at a witch school, I have to say I already dig it much more than the Harry Potter stuff. Which isn't really saying much since I hate most everything about Rowling's setting.

[sorry, J.K....much respect for the empire you've built and all, but I absolutely hate your "magical world." It's even worse than the Principalities of Glantri when it comes to making magic mundane]

Anyway, the kids were ready to binge-watch the whole thing (I put them to bed instead), so it's not just me that the show appeals to...and it did scare my three year old a bit, which is something any good story about witches (even a fairly benign bunch like these ladies) should do.

[can I also say I really like that they've set up the antagonists to be their own sister witches and backstabbing politics, rather than some nameless (and noseless) Big Bad hovering in the background like Sauron in Mordor, just waiting for his chance to "rule the world" or something?]

[man, I dislike those Potter books]

All right, that's all I wanted to say. Have to get back to my reading (tonight it's Oman's The Art of War in the Middle Ages). Later, gators.

"The Witch Game" Response

This was meant to be a comment on Tim's blog, in response to his response to my earlier comments. Unfortunately (and as usual) my words ran to the "long-winded" variety (it's 4am and I've been having a little sangria...hey, I gave up beer for Lent, cut me some slack!) and I was prohibited from posting. So I'm posting it here, though I'm not sure it will hold much interest for anyone besides Mr. Brannan and myself...

@ Timothy:

Since you appear to be addressing me directly, allow me to respond to a couple things:

I may have been a tad unclear in my earlier comments. When I say "culture" is the defining part of "witch-ness" in fantasy (other than magic-use), I'm not talking about a cosmetic change. A cosmetic change would be saying (like in Rowling's books), "all magic-users need wands to do magic; without wands they can't cast spells." This would take the place of, say, the restriction that magic-users can't be bound and/or require spell components...that's a cosmetic ("color") change to the way the character works.

"Cultural" means (in terms of a game) tied to the setting in an intimate fashion that affects the system. Even while D&D is "setting-less" in its default form, there are default assumptions one can make based on the systems. Paladins can only be lawful good; acting evil robs them of their abilities. Clerics must act in a certain fashion of lose their spell abilities. Turning undead is tied to being an agent of the divine. The existence of "guilds" (and guild rules) for thieves and assassins. These things define setting. Notice magic-users aren't required to belong to some guild...though that could have been written into the rules (schools of magic, organizations of wizards, etc.).

Consider the Dresden Files setting (which I only know about from having played the FATE RPG at a convention): here you have a wizard society with some fairly strict rules...like not using magic to kill people (in play, our magical investigators had to hunt down a rogue magician that had been using magic "against the rules" - my character ended up shooting her with a gun in order to "stick to the law"). Imagine how such a proscription would change play in D&D! What if wizards were subject to a Law of Three type rule? That's not a "cosmetic" change...that's going to shift system and play in a big way!

The witch culture, in both fiction and "real life" has a lot of ties to womanhood. Kind of. I'm not really sure how to say it...I don't mean feminism or female empowerment (though you see aspects of that), and there are certainly men who practice the craft (in both fiction and reality) but there is something distinctly feminine about it...in a traditional, "this is the female experience" kind of way. Witches share spells the way women (traditionally) share recipes...the Book of Shadows is a lot like a personal cookbook. That's very different from the traditional (and very D&Dish) archetype of wizards being guarded with their secrets, not wanting to share power. Witches work in groups...over and over in fiction and folklore you see this...and they are more potent when doing so. Real witches also involve others in their rituals...ritual magic is very much like performing religious rites, and you get more "oomph" from a bigger participating congregation (just like any church service). There's a sharing of knowledge, and a sharing of wisdom, and a sharing of suffering/experience that is very different from the solitary path of the lonely wizard.

Which may be part of why witches have a history (in fact and fiction) of persecution. They are subversive in a way that wizards aren't. Wizards are weird to normal folks, sure, but they aren't trying to undermine the underlying power structure. They're more likely to use it to make money (getting a job as a "court magician," figuring out how to turn base metal into gold, etc.). Witches are driven out of society (or hide their practice while living within it), because their very culture is subversive. Not because they're "powerful women in a patriarchy" but because of what they embody in the manner in which they work. Helping others, sharing knowledge, helping others to become powerful...these things undermine any power structure by empowering community. Communion with nature, understanding and working with natural forces...these things undermine a (human) culture built mainly on the exploitation of nature and an attempt to master it for human purposes.

The concept of the witch fails, at least in part, due to the structure of the D&D game. Take alignment, for example. Witches can certainly be "good" or "evil" people, but alignment is much more of a "cosmic" concept in D&D (especially AD&D) being based on the whole Law/Chaos struggle of sword & sorcery literature. Which side of the Eternal Struggle are you on? Except in B-horror films (the kind that inspires the "evil NPC witch" found in games like Palladium), most witches have a long history of being on the side of HUMANS (their community, their coven, or - selfishly - themselves)...humans who may be good or evil. On which side of the cosmic struggle are humans? Law? Do witches have to be lawful? What about the wicked crones giving people the evil eye? Shouldn't they be chaotic evil? Does that mean they worship Cthulhu?

Much of witch magic falls into the clerical realm, but (while spiritual) they're not dependent on "the gods" for their magic. Does a witch lose his/her spell-casting ability because she's "on the outs" with the Horned God? No, of course not. But other witches will look at such a practitioner (one who ignores the spiritual component) with disdain and as a rebel who's asking for heavy karma to pay 'em a visit. Similarly, witches don't really fit in the "all things balanced" realm of the D&D druid...they respect nature, they don't work for it. They are humanists (or at least "human centric" or human concerned) first.

The D&D magic-user is much more of a scientist, with the spell research and laboratory thing. You can re-skin it all to be "witchy" making it more of a kitchen/hearth thing, but that's going to call for a restructuring of the rules. Witches don't require thousands of coins to develop spells (especially low-level ones!)...if they did, no archetypal D&D village would be able to support the local wise woman.

The point to all this being you need a system overhaul that really addresses specific setting issues in order to include the witch as a playable character class. At least, if you want to have something that feels "witchy" in the traditional sense. There is very little "witch" to the Hermione Granger character, true enough (though Rowling's overall magic society with its tight community, structured rules, flying broomsticks, and love of potion brewing feels witchy in many ways)...if you wanted, to go that route, you could simply say:

male magic-users are called "wizards," female magic-users are called "witches"

But that would be doing a bit of a disservice to all those male witches out there (not to mention Wiccans!). A similar tact would be in the vein of Bewitched, where the magical society is broken down into "witches" and "warlocks." That's a bit more pulpy (in a kind of Vincent Price The Raven way) but it could work. Give everyone find familiar as a starting spell instead of read magic...you don't really need read magic in a witch-based setting (at least not in the current fictional tradition of needing to be "born a witch" to have access to spell-casting).

*sigh* I could go on and on for days on this subject but its 4am my time and I have to get up soon.

Chop! Magic Wands

[this is "Part 2" in a series of getting rid of saving throws in my new fantasy heartbreaker. You can look at the formative thoughts on this weird concept here and here. Part 1 can be found here]

Nothing says "old school fantasy" like a bearded wizard with a pointy hat and magic wand. It's iconic...and not just because it used to be TSR's logo. Well, maybe because of that. But look at all the wand-waving illustrations you find in those old books. Pointy hats and magic wands have the highest ratio of pix-to-page count in Holmes, but Moldvay's not far behind (it just seems like more in Holmes because there are so few illustrations in general). And the DMG has plenty, too.

I really dislike magic wands.

And I'm not just talking about their depiction in film and fiction. Apologies to all the folks who grew up loving Harry Potter: while I've read the books and seen the films I've never been terribly impressed by Rowling's work. And I intensely dislike most of the depictions of the "magical world;" it's like the worst of Glantri, where magic becomes so common that there's little "magical" about it. If we're talking about "wands" in the Harry Potter sense, I'd have to say I hate magic wands.

But in D&D, I've never been a big fan of the magic wand. What is it, but a gun that shoots spells (a gun with no trigger)? A quiver with up to 100 magic arrows (at least in AD&D)? Just another resource to keep track of, except that it's on the DM to track it because the PC isn't supposed to know how many charges are in it.

My experience with wands back in "the ol' days" is that by the time a wand was found, identified, and its activation words discovered, the magic-user was so powerful that he (or, rarely, she) would often forget to even use the thing, instead relying on his own spells. Just an extra piece of encumbrance. The only wand that saw much use was the wand of wonder, because it was fun to see what random weirdness would spring from its end. But even that was usually left holstered during any real combat or crisis.

Perhaps if wands were more like, I don't know, historic or mythological wands...more magical, as opposed to a 10-shot roman candle. Rare items, like Circe's wand (that turns folks to animals - no charges) or even the White Witch of Narnia's wand (that turns folks to stone - no charges). Dangerous things; things of power. Things not to be trifled with.

Traditionally, wands are part of ritual magic, representative of the life principle or the initiation of action. The wand of the magician is a symbol of the magician's authority over nature...like the scepter of a king (though like the magician's magic itself, one easily concealed from the eyes of the mundane). Ars Magica uses wands (and staffs) as an extension of the wizard's own magic power...literally (touching someone with your wand is the same as touching someone with your hand). But the wand itself isn't inherently magical, unless the magician transforms it into a talisman.

Anyway, I'm not a fan of the D&D wand. In fact, I'm tempted to axe them completely from the fantasy heartbreaker unless I can think of a way to make them more interesting. Five Ancient Kingdoms doesn't include wands like what you find in D&D...but then, 5AK doesn't restrict wizards'  magic in the same way as D&D. Part of the reason wands work the way they do in D&D (I assume) is to act as extra spell repositories for magic-users whose magic is limited. If you have a wand of light, you don't need to carry a light spell. If you have a wand of fireballs, it frees you up to carry other 3rd level spells (like water breathing and fly).

But, hey...this is a post about the Magic Wands saving throw, right? Sure it's easy to *CHOP* such a save if you remove wands from the game, but I'm not certain that I'm going to do that...yet. And while I may remove them as the mechanic they are in D&D, that doesn't mean they won't make some other appearance, right? And then the question of a saving throw comes up again. So let's talk about it.

Why the hell is there a separate saving throw for magic wands?

Chainmail, from which it appears D&D draws its saving throw concept, doesn't have "magic wands" (unless you want to say that's what wizards' auto-cast fireballs and lightning bolts represent). OD&D is the first place you see a the Wands saving throw ("All Wands - Including Polymorph or Paralyzation" is the title of the save). OD&D includes the following magic wands in Book 2:

• Metal Detection
• Enemy Detection
• Magic Detection
• Secret Doors & Trap Detection
• Illusion
• Fear **
• Cold **
• Paralization [sic] **
• Fire Balls **
• Lightning Bolts **
• Polymorph **
• Negation

Only the wands listed with an "**" would appear to receive saving throws, all of which would seem to be those that generate a cone or ray or target a single victim (polymorph). I can only assume that the reason for the saving throw versus wands (as opposed to using a more general "save versus magic") is that the saving throw represents the PC executing some sort of dodge maneuver against the wielder of the wand.

In other words, the wand is like a laser gun and YOU, Flash Gordon, must some how duck-n-roll for cover.

"A La Peanut Butter Sandwiches!"

Not only is this ridiculously cartoony (in the Saturday Morning Cartoon sense)...even if this IS the kind of cartoony action you want to model in your game (which is, of course, your prerogative), than Why O Why is it limited to magic wands? Why can't your action heroes dodge arrows and thrown spears and giants' boulders...all those other missiles that PRESUMABLY approach a character slower than a *ZAP* ray from your magic ray gun?

Don't tell me it's easier to dodge a flash of lightning than a hurled dagger. And don't tell me you're "dodging the wand, not the ray" (that's what my old Palladium folks used to use as a justification for dodging a laser: "you're dodging the gun")...fine, then, why can't you dodge the crossbow?

What it feels like (to me, anyway) is that the designers said: 'Well, shooting a laser...er, fireball...at someone with a wand should require some sort of attack roll.' 'But how protective against a blast of cold is plate mail (since the alternative combat system of OD&D determines target number by armor worn)?' 'Oh, yeah, not very. Ummm...let's add an ALTERNATE alternate system where the target is automatically hit, but can reduce or eliminate the effect with a successful dodge roll.' 'Yeah! Save versus wand!'

Something like that.

Regardless of whether or not I include magic wands in my new game, they are certainly not going to be magic ray-guns packing a battery pack. If they have a magical effect that needs to be resisted...well, we'll deal with that in a later post. Otherwise, there's no more need to have a "dodge" roll for wands than I need to have a "dodge" roll for the longbow. We already have a combat system that determines effectiveness of attacks.

*CHOP*

Fantasy Females

I just started re-reading Jennifer Roberson’s Cheysuli books, a series I started years ago but stopped collecting due to a lack of funds (a frequent occurrence in my high school and college years). They’re pretty darn good…I had originally thought they’d make a decent B/X campaign setting (and still think that), but now I’m enjoying them just for themselves. Back in high school (my non-D&D years) I attempted to emulate the setting with SSI’s DragonQuest RPG (DQ has a lot of “ups” on D&D for a Cheysuli setting, including shapechanger characters, more accessible magic-use, and knife wielders that don’t totally suck), but in the end no one really wanted to play DQ, not even me.

[side note: If anyone would like to see the equivalent of a literary justification of “all weapons do D6 damage,” check out the Cheysuli books…these guys are like Apache knife-fighters extraordinaire!]

Anyhoo, I was thinking to myself this morning: what the hell is it with all the chick fantasy authors?

That is to say: why do I seem to be drawn to the fantasy writings of women authors? And how has that colored my ideas of fantasy and story and the application of both to my gaming?

Because (after all), the baseline foundation of the DM craft is emulating the stuff that you enjoy or read or watch in the various media available to us: books, comics, film, TV. You can say “well, I base MY D&D campaign on actual history” but I would say you are STILL getting that version of “history” from something: books, comics, film, TV (or possibly university lecture hall).

I think it’s nigh impossible to create something out of a vacuum…and SINCE I’m drawing on my own “memory banks” of fantasy to run my campaigns, and SINCE I’m reading so much fantasy written by female authors, HOW is that influencing me?

Because I do think there are differences in story-telling technique and priorities between genders. That may just be me (I was never an English major, as you may be able to tell from my blog-writing style, so I don’t know if there’s any study/analysis of this kind of thing)…but I certainly tend to gravitate to the woman story authors. Allow me to list some of my authorial inspirations (in no particular order):

Jennifer Roberson (despite only having read 2-3 of her books, she turned me into a knife fan many years ago…also prefer her version of “high fantasy” to others).

Elizabeth Boyer (duh…Vikings. I’ve blogged about this many times; she had major influences on the B/X Companion).

Marion Zimmer Bradley (the Big MZB…one of the All Time Greats. Her books are wonderful and pretty much un-translatable to a visual medium making them real “book books”).

Margaret Weiss (I know she only co-authored Dragon Lance, but her name does get first billing, and not out of alphabetical order…the DL books renewed D&D for me in middle school).

Wendy Pini (artist and writer of ElfQuest comics…probably the most engaging and gripping fantasy graphics of all time).

[Colleen Doran, artist and author of the weird sci-fi comic A Distant Soil has also had some small, if strong influence]

Anne McCaffery (mixing SciFi and fantasy is a good thing!).

J.K. Rowling (not an influence in my formative years, and certainly fairly cheesy compared to my usual literary fare, but I admit I have read all seven Hairy Bottom novels…probably the most books I’ve read from a single author in the last ten years).

[regarding my formative years, I will say that before I started reading fantasy, I read quite a few (10 or more) of the old Nancy Drew books at my school library. Although “Carolyn Keene” is a pseudonym, the authors of most of these books were women, with Mildred Benson and her daughter Harriet Adams being the ones primarily credited]

Susan Cooper (this one WAS during my formative years…read the entire Dark is Rising series. Wouldn’t mind revisiting that one, one of these days).

Robin McKinley (another one from my youth; author of The Hero and the Crown and The Blue Sword. The plots of these books impacted much of my early D&D gaming).


Now this isn’t to say that I haven’t read and enjoyed the works and writings of male authors over the years…however, most of these guys (like woman author Anne Rice) are folks that I’ve read once and not returned to…or authors I’ve grown beyond. For example, I read quite a bit of Piers Anthony back in my youth, but I can’t stand his stuff anymore, and none of it has impacted my gaming (I don’t do puns of the Xanth variety, and his Apprentice Adept series is the kind of simplistic fantasy/scifi that makes me wretch)…despite the sex and violence of his books, they seem squarely aimed at the age 12-15 demographic.

Sometimes, it seems like male fantasy authors only fall into two camps: the humorous/whimsical and the ugly. Humorous/whimsical would include Robert Aspirin’s books (which, like Anthony, can get tired after awhile), while “ugly” is the term I use to describe, say, Stephen King’s Gunslinger series. The latter is a series I read compulsively/raptly as it was published, but as with all of King’s books, it doesn’t shirk from the coarse, the gross, the gritty side of life, instead delighting in showing off just how bad things can be. Reading his books isn’t always “fun.”

However, there ARE male authors that fall into the “inspiring, impactful fantasy” category for me: Howard, Moorcock, Lovecraft, Tolkien, George Lucas, Lloyd Alexander, and C.S. Lewis (especially The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, which I have read half a dozen times at least). Interesting that of these authors, Howard, Lovecraft, and Tolkien had very strong female influences on them from a young age (Tolkien’s father died when he was 3 years old and he was raised by his mother)…but then, who’s to say that the female authors I cited didn’t have strong masculine influences?

The point is: it is the female fantasy authors that have had the larger impact on my concepts of fantasy (and directly translated to my fantasy gaming). ESPECIALLY with regard to gaming, only the Big 3 (Howard, Moorcock, and Tolkien) have had as much impact; the first two with regard to tone, the third with regard to mythology (and I would cite the Silmarillion and Children of Hurin as the main influence, not LotR). “Character,” “setting,” and “plot” (for what that last is worth; call it “scenario”), as well as “theme” (if any) comes from my female authors with the occasional random dude (Beagle’s Last Unicorn, Ellison’s Run for the Stars, Steakley’s Armor, and Boyett’s Ariel) sometimes throwing up an especially noteworthy piece of fiction.

[this, of course, is only in reference to my fantasy fiction influences; history and folklore also has a major impact/influence on my gaming and “fantasy life”]

Well, anyway, I thought it was interesting. I'll think about the subject a bit more and see if there are specific things about woman-penned fantasy that I really admire or if the whole discussion is ridiculous...more (hopefully) later...

: )

Something Wicked This Way Comes…

I’ve been thinking a bit about witches this morning, due in no small part to Helena Bonham Carter’s excellent turn as Bellatrix Lestrange in the Hairy Bottom films…I’ve been a fan of her neurotic character portrayals ever since Room With A View, but Bellatrix certainly has that Goth-rocker chick look that is so fetching even as it is ruthlessly malevolent. In other words, Carter makes an excellent witch.

[side note: is every British actor with some name recognition going to make an appearance in the Potter films? I mean really…about the only ones they’re missing are Ian McKellen (Gandalf) and Julian Sands (Warlock), which I suppose is understandable. I fully expect Jeremy Irons and Hellen Mirren to show up in the last installment…though of course Irons already played a wizard in that stinky Dungeons & Dragons movie, so I suppose he’s out, too. Boy THAT’s worth a post of its own!]

So, anyway, witches…where the hell are they? In D&D, I mean.

Now of course I refer to pre-D20 editions; I’m sure there are at least a half-dozen “witches” with various adjectives attached to their names (“blood witch,” “bog witch,” “sand witch,” etc.) floating around the various D20 tomes. But in earlier editions we find REFERENCES to witches without any actual witches!

To me this appears to be an over-sight…the question is was it deliberate or not? Oh sure, you might simply assume a witch is a “female magic-user” or even an “EVIL female magic-user,” but nowhere in the description of magic-users do I find any reference to witches. Moldvay’s basic set names Merlin the Magician as an example magic-user, but that guy was a wizard not a witch.

Um…at least I distinguish wizards and witches as two different things. With all due respect to Hairy Bottom fans, I grew up thinking the male witch was a “warlock” not a wizard; I owe this more to watching many, many syndicated episodes of Bewitched as a child, not D&D.

Though I DO note that the 6th level magic-user title in the Cook/Marsh expert set is Warlock/Witch (Cook and Marsh must have watched Bewitched, too). Of course, this is the only place I find where witch is mentioned as a level title for magic-user (2nd edition has none, OD&D and AD&D don’t use it, and BECMI leaves off all female level titles…apparently women had stopped playing D&D by the time Mentzer released his rule set; such a shame).

Not that it makes a lot of sense for a 6th level magic-user to be a “witch” anyway. In fairy tales and folklore (AND J.K. Rowling books!) witches are especially known for their ability to transform others and themselves (you know, princes into frogs or changing themselves into dragons). Certainly you’d think a magic-user would need to master the polymorph spell (at least one of them) prior to taking up the title of “witch.” But polymorph (self or other) is a 4th level spell…and magic-users don’t gain access to 4th level spells until the 7th level.

Hmm…this reminds me that I never did overhaul the magic-user level titles, as I did with both the cleric and the fighter. I’ll have to get back to this one day.

So, sure…one could say a “witch” in D&D (at least according to Cook/Marsh) is a 6th level magic-user. But I don’t think this is the best way to consider the class. After all, the witch is generally treated as a “monster” in the text of these early editions. Let’s look at the mentions of witches throughout D&D:

In OD&D we have no mention of the witch as a magic-user (in descriptive text or level titles); we DO see an illustration of a “beautiful witch” along with an “Amazon” (in LBB 3, I believe). Throughout most of the LBBs, these illustrations represent creatures on the monster list, though no witch is listed in LBB2, even as a suggested possible monster (at the end where they write about the possibility of robots and gelatinous cubes).

In Holmes D&D they mention that male characters with a high Charisma can escape transformation and be retained as a love slave; this is in the same paragraph where it is cited that female characters with a high charisma will be kept captive instead of be eaten by dragons (see? Dragon = Witch, i.e. monster).

In Moldvay’s Basic book we find references to Morgan Le Fay and Circe the Sorceress (classic antagonists) but no witches. I can’t help but think that if the polymorph spell had been present in the Basic set, Moldvay would have created a monster type called a “Witch” that used it. After all, Moldvay gave us the HD 2 Noble, the HD 1+1 Berserker, the HD 1 Bandit, and the ever esteemed Normal Man monsters. He seemed to have a good handle on not needing a particular type of human to equate with a particular class/level.

The Cook/Marsh Expert set DOES have polymorph, and even references a save versus polymorph (of which there is none in B/X, unlike AD&D).

AD&D…well, the Monster Manual DOES have Night Hags and Sea Hags, and I have always found “hag,” “crone,” and “witch” all to be interchangeable when it comes to fairy tales and folklore…take a look at Baba Yaga, for example. And speaking of Baba Yaga, her hut is also present in the DMG, though I don’t remember if it mentions her as being a hag (it might even refer to her as an arch-mage! I’ll have to check my DMG later…).

2nd edition AD&D of course has NO BALLS when it comes to anything that smacks of Satan, witchcraft, or El Diablo. However, the VERY interesting Return to White Plume Mountain, DOES include “the Witch Thingizzard” as a MONSTER, not a character class and is the closest thing to what I’m looking for.

In fact, I had both Night Hag and Sea Hag scheduled to go into my B/X Companion, and instead of making them knock-offs of the AD&D/BECMI versions, I may just make them knock-offs of Thingizzard and throw ‘em all under the “Crone/Hag/Witch” category (without designation of “Sea” or “Night” variety)! I think the rich, literary history of the wicked witch deserves a decent D&D monster, rather than a Vancian spell-slinger.

By the way: all apologies to the Wiccan community. I’ve known many Wiccans and self-professed Witches (who considered themselves different from the former), and all were fine upstanding folks with no Satanic human sacrifice or devil worship anywhere to be found (though the “witches” were raging alcoholics…). In the 21st century I’d guess that most folks would back away from the idea of witches as monsters so as not to offend followers of the Wiccan religion (well, except Kevin Siembieda), but for a pulpy game like D&D I think it is appropriate to have some corrupted individuals of the Brothers Grimm variety present. As I said…all apologies. I will probably NOT use the term "Crone" in my B/X Companion as I realize this is a sacred part of the life cycle in Wiccan tradition ("the wise grandma") and should not be correlated to the derogatory term “hag.”

Harry Potter...Damn You Time Suckage!

Man, it's been a slow last few days around the blog-o-verse.  Guess everyone's hard at work on real writing projects (or at real jobs).

Me, I continue to slump towards post 200.

Saw the latest Harry Potter movie tonight with the wife on the IMAX. So many great movies out right now, and we haven't seen a film all summer (the last one we went to was Wolverine, and that was for Mother's Day 'cause my mom wanted to see it...in her words, Hugh Jackman is "easy on the eyes"). Quite a good flick; not sure what people are complaining about.

I, of course, have read all the HP books. I actually got introduced to them a little after Book 4 was published...my nephews (whom I  have recently introduced to B/X) gave the first book to my wife, and she gave it to me after she was done. And then I read all of 'em back-to-back (well, as they were published anyway). They aren't fantastically great, but I'm a completist...once I start a series I want to finish it, at least if there's anything to grab me at all.

So it's been a few years since I've read the Half-Blood Prince and it seems like they got the crux of the matter (if you'll forgive the cheap pun) all out on the screen. Very well done, and I even enjoy the young romance stuff as well (truth be told, I'd rather watch teenagers "snog" than Ralph Fiennes sans nose and hair...but that's just me, I guess).  

I had forgotten how much action and high-powered sorcery is in these last couple books. The whole deal with the horcruxes, some of these "advanced" potions, and a couple of the charms and enchanted items are all cool things that might well make their way into a future B/X campaign. Certainly, my nephews would appreciate taking on an un-killable lich like Voldemort (is he really a lich? Just soul-less, I guess...like that dude with his heart hid in the jar in I3: Pharaoh).

Anyway, like I said, a slow day...heck, a slow week!...around the blogs with little I feel like commenting on, even the comments on my own blog. I have been feeling very inspired of late and hope that I'll be able to knock out a few pages of the Monster chapter (I know, I know...I keep saying that! Well, I keep hoping, too!).  We'll see what tomorrow brings; right now, it's time to hit the hay.

Hasta Manana, amigos!

Hairy Bottom RPG

So the new Harry Potter film is out and I have yet to see it (my wife made me promise to wait till she's back in town...sheesh!  Like I'd try fighting the lines opening weekend? Besides I've read the books; I know what happens).  But every time a new wave of HP madness sweeps the nation I wonder, where the hell is the Harry Potter RPG?

Yes, I'm aware that the internet is chock full o on-line "role-playing" sites.  Role-play is not the same as a role-playing game (yes, there are real definitions that distinguish play, game, and sport...I should bother to post them some time).   And while I was tempted to post a couple of the more disturbing images that popped up when I did a google search for "Harry Potter RPG;" well, I decided to keep it clean.  Well, as clean as I ever am, anyway.

Thing is: well first off there are IP issues that would need to be diving our by Rowling for a real RPG game, something I'm sure Wizards or Green Ronin has probably already done.  But even withOUT the rights, a company could create a game set in the magical castle school of "Hawthorne" or something, and players would take on the role of young wizards and witches, right?

But to whom would such a game appeal?  Certainly not the over-testosteroned 4E crowd!  An HP RPG (at least one created as a pastiche of the book) would have precious little combat in it. Maybe some stunning/dueling type hexes, and a couple of unspeakable curses.  But all you're doing is pointing your wand, make a roll to cast spell successfully, and make another roll to counter or dodge. 

No, Harry Potter would be "RPG-light;" something more like Teenagers From Outer Space. Certainly HP is at least that whimsical. 

And so, of course there's already a game that may be suited for a Hairy Bottom (excuse me, Harry Potter) RPG...Big Eyes, Small Mouth.  I just picked up a used copy Saturday for $4 and on someone else's blog (no link; sorry!) I said it would seem perfect for running an RPG version of High School Musical.  Well, scratch that...it would be even better for an HP RPG.

No, no Harry Potter isn't anime or manga (despite many, many illustrations on HP Role-Play sites), but it shares many of the same tropes.  You got matters of magic mixed in with matters of high school (teen romance, homework, tests, pranking, bullies, expulsion) mixed in with silly humor (back-firing hexes and such)...there're even hints of danger from the Death Eaters and basilisk and such, should you want a more edgy school. All of these things you can find in Japanimation, and that's exactly what BESM is designed to run...it's not all giant robots and space cruisers!

I had always figured I would need to heavily modify Ars Magica if I wanted a real Harry Potter RPG.  But BESM does the job quicker than you can say, "Eye of Newt."  For those who've been looking for a way to run Harry Potter as a game, not just an interactive fan fic, you might want to check it out.