Tis The Holiday Season

Just pumping out a post 'cause I'm not sure how much time I'm going to have to blog this week. Sofia's out of school, so while he's sleeping in (at the moment), I'm going to be hanging with her in my "free" time. Parent-teacher conferences at the middle school today...it will be interesting to hear what they have to say about my 6th grade daughter. I'm genuinely curious.

I don't talk as much about my daughter as I do my son. I don't know why other than I'm constantly amazed by his accomplishments. Sofia's amazing, too, but her "magic" is so much less demonstrative. I have a feeling that she will probably have the "bigger impact" on the world when all is said and done: she'll either end up some scientist that invents something brilliant or else she's going to wind up being some sort of famous film or music-related celebrity. But none of that is anything happening right now (other than she can astound people when she sits down at a piano in a hotel lobby)...right now she is this incredibly sweet, funny, friendly kid who just likes to smile and snicker and play. Since we brought my mom's piano home, not a day goes by without the sounds of music filling the house at some point. Right now it's a big Christmas piece she's working on. Delightful.

Yes, you heard me...delightful. I'm one of those curmudgeonly types that gets annoyed with people who start their Christmas-ing before Thanksgiving. Usually. This year has been...different. The "yacht rock" radio station that has long been on our satellite car radio...since at least 2019 as it helped soothe our nerves through the entire pandemic...disappeared a couple weeks ago to be replaced by the "Hallmark" channel which plays nothing but holiday music. And Sofia, of course, LOVES holiday music and so we've been listening to it, whenever we're out driving to one of her various things: school, church, soccer, basketball, piano, guitar. Whatever. And darned if I haven't gotten in to it, too. Like the yacht rock, it's soothing on the nerves.

Well, most of it (I'm not really into the "hip hop Christmas" stuff...give me Andy Williams or Nat King Cole any day of the week).

So, yeah. I've started the holidays early. I think we got our first thing of eggnog the week after Halloween? That went fast, and I haven't replaced it yet. Still have our "Autumnal" wreath on the door, but evergreen one is coming. We've got tickets to Mexico for Christmas...took us a while because they're so damn expensive (you can fly to Japan for half the price!). Not sure if that's just because the current administration is only interested in people taking one-way trips south of the border or what (*sigh*), but since they've made damn sure that's my in-laws can't renew their visas till 2027 (*sigh*) we must purchase four tix if we want to see our family, rather than just flying mis suegros up here. Too bad for the local economy, of course, as we'll be doing all our shopping down there...but then Trump has been nothing if not hard on the local economy. 

But enough of that...I've been in the holiday spirit, as I said, and I've been focusing on other things. My son, who I gush about far too much, has his first national volleyball tournament for his club in Los Angeles in a couple weeks, and he and I will be flying down there with the team. The last couple days we were at a local "exhibition" tournament...it was pretty wild. He's a U15, but his team was playing in the U16 division...four matches in the group stage on Saturday with two matches on Sunday in the playoff bracket; when not playing or warming up he and his teammates acted as line judges and scorekeepers for the various games going on non-stop on four courts in an airplane hangar-like gymnasium (they were running U14, U16, and U18 divisions...all men's volleyball). Holy smoke...what an event! And the L.A. one is supposed to be a LOT bigger...I can hardly imagine.

Anyway, their team is great and pretty talented. They ended up winning their division, winning in straight sets for both of their playoff games. They were rotating liberos between Diego and another, more experienced kid (except for D and Jesus, all the other kids have been together for two or three seasons), but by Sunday's championship game it was just Diego, clearly in command, exhibiting presence and leadership on the court, making spectacular saves, picking up his teammates...all the usual "Diego" stuff. When they were down 18-9 in th second set of their first playoff match, Diego came in as a DS to serve 15 straight points and put them up 24-18...he didn't come out after that. Just great stuff from the kid. We had been contemplating trying to get to his soccer game Sunday afternoon and said we'd think about it after we saw how the morning match went...he came of the court and just said "I'm staying for the volleyball." 

[fortunately the club was playing the no-win bottom of their division and got a 4-2 result even without their captain]

But it was an exhausting weekend. Diego had a hard time getting up this morning (he still has a couple days of school before break)...though he's excited because "cousin Spencer" is picking him up from school today! Yes, my 27-year old "nephew" is back in town...all 6'1", 205# of baby-faced kid. He just finished up a year long stint of chefing at some fancy restaurant across the street from the Opera House, and now he's back in the PNW before doing another jaunt, this time in Japan (his dad's originally from Canada so he has joint citizenship and can do a work exchange on the maple leaf passport). Anyway, hanging with us all weekend at the volleyball stuff, he's taking Diego rock-climbing this afternoon (just what my kid needs...to be introduced to another recreational hobby...). Fingers-crossed that Diego doesn't fall asleep in class or on the boulder....

Hopefully, I'll get a chance to run some D&D for Spence while he's in town...I know he digs that. He's heading out to Spokane on Wednesday (Thanksgiving with his mom's mom), so our window is tight, especially with the kids' soccer practice on Tuesday. Wait, wait...just checking and it looks like they might have the night off!. All right, maybe Tuesday evening then. If we DO get our game on, I've already decided I'll be breaking out C1: The Hidden Shrine of Tamoachan...a perfect little scenario for Diego, Sofia, and Spencer.

Mmm...looking through Ye Old Blog archives, I don't see I've ever written much of anything abou Tamoachan. It's a decent enough tournament adventure...probably my favorite of all the old TSR tournament modules (looking at both the A- and C- series). I've run it at least two or three times in the past, usually with the three pre-gens designed for the scenario. It's pretty tight, design-wise, and even though it's a fairly linear gauntlet (much like the tournament portion of S1) it has a ton of flavor and a lot of interesting bits and bobs. Though, man...I don't think I've run it since the early 90s (maybe the early 2000s...?). I should probably give it a quick re-read. I have no idea how the thing holds up in my current "paradigm" of game play, but Philippe ran it at Cauldron for some folks who had a good time...it should still work for a one-off.

Other than that....

I'm working on the book. It's slow going. I started writing the section on running combat...turns out this could probably be a whole book, in and of itself. Which is not really what I want, so I probably need to rethink the section. 

It's tough. I'm trying to condense and consolidate decades of knowledge and essays into a practical guidebook that IDEALLY would have a smaller page count than any of the existing (AD&D) rulebooks. It's a rather daunting prospect. This is far less about writing "AD&D for Dummies" and more like a Strunk & White's Elements of Style. Lord, how I wish I'd studied technical writing in college. Maybe I should go back and re-read my Strunk & White...it's still on the book shelf somewhere. 

Yeah. Probably going to end up bigger than S&W.

But I am writing.  A little bit óvery day. Except when I'm at all day volleyball tournaments. But OTHERwise...one brick at a time. Just laying one brick at a time. 

*sigh*

I should be publishing a couple adventures soon, too, depending on my illustrator's time schedule. Hopefully I'll have a couple PDFs out by year's end. We'll see. December tends to fly by when you're in the midst of holiday cheer with friends and family. And  now that my brother's hash is finally settled (he was evicted on the 12th...a day before my birthday)...I need to put the sale of my mother's house into overdrive. Sofia and I might be working on that a bit the next couple days, depending on when I can borrow my buddy's junk hauler. A lot to do but it is finally getting done. Finally.

Mm.

My apologies...did not mean for this post to slide into a downer note. It's the gosh darn holiday season! And I'm excited about all the stuff I've got on my plate right now. Yes, the busy-ness is off the charts. Yes, finding time to take a breath is a challenge. BUT:

- volleyball tournaments

- guitar recitals

- holiday feasts and get-togethers

- trips to see family and friends in Mexico

- school Christmas concerts

- running D&D

- publishing adventures

- writing books

- closing my deceased mom's estate

And just listening to cheerful music as I drive around town on my various errands...man, that is all GOOD STUFF. I am enjoying myself. I am really, thoroughly enjoying myself.

And I'll admit, part of it is that I'm home in Seattle for Thanksgiving (my favorite holiday of the year) and that I get to eat some God-honest turkey for a change. I seem to be the only person in my family that craves a drumstick and a pile of apple-sausage stuffing drenched in gravy. My goodness! I am SO looking forward to Thursday!

Hope ALL of you have a happy one...I pray that all of you find some joy in season, and find a way to share that joy with others. Even a smile goes a long way this time of year.

Cheers.

: )

Vancouver Problems

I'm having a tough time.

Currently, I'm typing in yet another darkened hotel room; this one in Vancouver, Washington. Folks unfamiliar with the Northwest Territories may have only ever heard of Vancouver, British Columbia, the thriving metropolis a couple hours north of Seattle (both were named for the explorer, George Vancouver). However, despite being only a quarter (or less) of the Canadian city's size (and probably less than that in terms of prestige), the American Vancouver is the older, dare I say "the Original," city to hold the name. It is, in fact, older than Seattle and at one time was (briefly) the capital of the state. When I was a kid, my father would sometimes have business trips that would take him to Vancouver...in those days (the 1970s) the two cities (Seattle and Vancouver) were far closer in terms of scale and economic impact than they are today.

Getting here was a bitch...a 2.5 hour drive turned into four by a combination of road construction and a near endless string of car accidents (seriously...there were not less than four collisions on the interstate that would cause an incredible slowdown every 30 miles or so). We're in town for a three-day soccer jamboree for the boy, and we barely managed to make it to the field prior to the Friday night game (kid changed in the car during a 7.5 mile stretch that took as an hour to traverse). But make it we did. 

Perhaps, understandably, our team had some frustrations to work out, and they shellacked the other guys 6-0. It could have easily been 10. We'll see how today's games go.

But that's for later, after everyone's awake and breakfasted and I've had something to drink besides hotel room instant coffee (a Keurig machine, actually, which has a nice Italian roast, but forces me to get up and fill the damn thing for every cup I drink). Since the kennel fiasco that led to the death of my dog in July, all our road trips have included the original "running beagle," and she was happy to get me up at the crack of dawn for her morning meal and walk. She now dozes (with the family) while I sit typing in the dark. As usual. Having a tough time.

Problem: okay, here it is. I have four days left to write this damn adventure for Prince's contest. I've got the maps done and PDF'd (getting better with Ye Old "Dungeon Doodler"), I've got the encounters named and numbered, I've got the treasure catalogued to the copper piece, I've got my monsters and traps and tricks lined up and ready...

I'm having a damned hard time writing it all up.

And I'm not sure what it is that's stopping me. I've got into a habit with my recent adventure writing of using a simple, three bullet-point system: #1 is general description, #2 is monster stuff (if any), and #3 is any treasure (valuable or not). Here are a couple examples from my DL1 re-mix:

29. Sage Front

• Rotten books stained with green fungus line the decrepit shelves on the north side of this room. The air smells of decay and rotting paper.
• The books crumble if handled. All are worthless. 

30. Sage’s Court

• Unlike the outer room, the interior is meticulously clean and uncluttered, though the stench of decay is still strong. Several shelves of intact books grace the walls; a gold-painted chair stands near a solid oak table. A single, emaciated figure works in the darkness.
• The unliving sage putters around the room, working to keep his remaining books in excellent condition. Unless approached with politeness, he assumes intruders are thieves and attack. WIGHT (AC 5, HD 4+3, HPs 25, MM100). Though amenable to seekers of knowledge, the creature will only talk for D4 minutes before attacking in a fit of life-starved hunger.
• Treasure: the wight obsessively cares for and preserves many of his most valuable books. He has 20 tomes worth an average of 100 g.p. each, as well as a tome of clear thought (8,000 x.p.), a tome of leadership and influence (7,500 x.p.), and a tome of understanding (8,000 x.p.).

Stuff like that. However, I'm having a hard time using this format for my "No ArtPunk" adventure. For one thing, it's a high-level affair: an AD&D scenario suitable for a band of characters levels 10th-14th. Which, in my opinion, requires a bit more tactical description in order to challenge such experienced PCs. And writing that up is a wordy affair, cluttering up bullet-points and/or rendering them a joke. The bullet points are, after all, supposed to be there for the convenience of the DM reading the text.

No, it's not that I'm writing stuff like "if the PCs do X, then monsters do Y, otherwise they do Z." I just mean there has to be more than "the Beholder attacks!" For example, in the previously mentioned adventure, the creature with the largest tactical description is (duh) the black dragon at the end of the module. Here's how I wrote up that encounter:

84. Dragon’s Lair

• An immense chamber rises four stories to a cracked and broken translucent dome. A black dragon, reclines on an enormous horde of coins, precious jewels, and exquisite items. This is Onyx, and she was old three centuries ago, before the city was buried beneath the swamp.
• ANCIENT HUGE BLACK DRAGON (AC 3, HD 8, HPs 64); she is a warlock and may cast the following spells: charm person, detect magic, identify, unseen servant, darkness 15’ radius, knock, locate object, dispel magic, hold person, protection from normal missiles, curse, and minor globe of invulnerability. Onyx expects submission and abject worship. If the party has been able to enter without noise (such as through #83) there is a 50% she is sleeping. She will have otherwise taken the chance to cast protection from normal missiles on herself in preparation for intruders. Her first action will be to fly out of melee range and bellow for her guardsmen (any left within the palace will immediately hear her call and respond). If she sees characters engaged in spell-casting she will cast minor globe of invulnerability; otherwise she will cast hold person on any obvious melee types. She will then attack lightly armored characters in melee. Onyx will try not to use her breath weapon inside the chamber, so as save her treasure; however, if the party proves powerful, she will (sadly) do so.
• Treasure: The dragon’s hoard is immense and growing larger as her minions gather more spoils on her behalf. 20,000 c.p., 25,000 s.p., 30,000 e.p., 18,000 g.p., 3,000 p.p., 56 200 g.p. gems, platinum miter (10,000 g.p.), platinum encrusted staff (8,750 g.p.), potion of flying (500 x.p.), clerical spell scroll with raise dead and restoration (1,200 x.p.), shield +4 (1,200 x.p.), spear +3 (1,750 x.p.), periapt of health (1,000 x.p.), and splint armor +1 (700 x.p.). All treasure is loose and will take hours to collect, count, and examine.

That's a lot of text regarding spell use and tactics, and it still makes a lot of assumptions...for example, there's no mention of the awe/fear effect ancient dragons cause, assuming the DM will be well aware of that when running the encounter (low level henchfolk and hirelings tend to scatter or cower when a dragon pops up). Nor does it detail the dragon's longterm plans or motivation (though it hints at her general greed and arrogance).

However, the adventure I'm writing now (or, rather, not writing; instead, just blogging about) has to have MANY "dragon-level" encounters...encounters that work together with each other in a sensible, interlocked fashion that provides a decent challenge to PCs possessing extraordinary resources of magic ad might. And maybe I don't trust DMs to be able to run high-level adventures without a bit of handholding: there's just such a dearth of genuine interest in such adventures to be found on the internet these days (and a plethora of pundits decrying attempts to push adventures past mid-levels). It feels a bit like I'm trying to write some sort of primer/tutorial for DMs, not just a modular adventure. And that's weighing on my mind.

Then again, maybe that's not it at all. Maybe it's just that I'm writing this thing for a dude who's made a name for himself doing scathing reviews of published adventures and I'm too concerned with creating something of sheer awesomeness, something so beyond reproach (and criticism) that ALL will be forced to BOW DOWN BEFORE MY MONUMENTAL SKILLS. And the simplistic manner that I'd normally use...just...isn't...good...enough.

*sigh*

Ego. Perfectionism. Procrastination. All contributing to a lack of constructive action. Maybe I just need to let shit go and get it done. Worry about the "editing for perfection" later.

Time's running out, after all.

Okay, everyone's up. The call of the wild. Time to hunt and gather.

Blue Friday

Welp, it's "Blue Friday" again...the Friday before a Seahawks weekend, a day when all fans of the team are supposed to show their support by wearing team merch around town. 'Course I've been wearing the gear all week anyway, since that's most of what my closet is stuffed with: comfortable t-shirts with logos.

*sigh*  This isn't what I want to talk about.

Last night I stayed up in hopes of watching another episode or two of Lovecraft Country, a new television show that I find delightful in every way (I'm about four shows into the series). Yes, I mean that sincerely...delightful. Everything about it. Even as it makes me squirm and shake watching it. And I'm not a horror aficionado by any means.

[though, yes, I've been a Lovecraft fan since age 14 or 15. Had to give my wife an extensive crash course on HPL...his life, writings, and pulp fiction in general...halfway through the first episode as she was completely lost. She is entirely ignorant of...and unconcerned with...the kind of historical geekery that JB enjoys swimming in...]

But, of course, this didn't get to happen as the news came out about Trump and the Covid.

...

...

I've spent a lot of this week NOT writing about politics, despite several fiery rants rolling around in my brain. I know...well, I strongly suspect...that my words will do little to change anyone's political leanings or decisions, just as they undoubtably fail to sway people away from 5th edition D&D. Mainly, I'd just be belittling and abusing people which, as I've written before, ain't all that constructive.

So let me just say this: it doesn't make me happy that Trump and his cronies are passing around the 'Rona to each other like [pick your derogatory analogy]. It's not surprising (and shouldn't be surprising, unless you're an idiot that disregards science and believes Trump's lies about "fake news") given his behavior. But it doesn't make me happy. I think it likely there'll be severe (i.e. "disastrous") consequences to this turn of events. Yet another storm to weather in 2020.

I will continue to pray to God for both justice and solace. I will try to be a kinder, better human being.

With regard to Blood Bowl...I'm again down at halftime 7-6, after missing both an extra point attempt and a field goal attempt in the closing minutes of the 2nd quarter. Despite feeling like there's a problem with the rules (I should be dominating!) the simple fact is I've had a run of bad luck. My chaos renegades team, the Monks of Doom, have yet to inflict a single casualty, despite fielding two trolls and an ogre...that's just improbable. Though it doesn't help that I've been trying to use the ogre as a ball carrier; in retrospect, that wasn't a great decision.

I am currently writing up the basic NAF rules, but it's slow going. I was hoping to do something small, but it was up to ten pages when I knocked off yesterday...basically, it appears I'm going to end up rewriting the damn game from scratch. Not "delightful," and definitely not what I intended. Despite that, the rules really seem to work well in practice. I'll have to post some photos one of these days.

Ah, heck...here's a quick one:

Yeah, that's one dead mutant in the dugout.

The human Titan Eagles have 1st down at the 30, and have chosen to go with an empty backfield and a "spread" formation (you can't see him in the photo, but there's another catcher just off-camera to the left. Clearly the Monks are in trouble...especially as I now count they have an illegal formation with 12 men on the field (each of the large monsters count as two). That was my daughter's doing (she set-up the defense)...I'll have to correct that before the snap, so the ref doesn't blow his whistle!

Have a good weekend, people. Stay safe and healthy.

***EDIT: You know what? I am totally going to bum rush his center with my ogre nose tackle. Going to start this drive with a sack, baby!***

The QB is toast.

(Lack of) Patience

I have been a damn grouch lately. My apologies for that, especially if I happen to have written something mean and nasty on your blog the last few days or so.

I am not a patient man. Lazy at times, sure. Prone to inertia, of course. Easily sidetracked into procrastination and time-wasting, obviously. But patient? No...and I imagine I've written that more than once once on this blog (after a couple thousand posts, the occasional repeated thought is perhaps inevitable).

And I tend to be grouchy when I get impatient. Right now, I'm going through a phase where I'm running up against my own impatience in two separate areas, both having to do with some very exciting developments in my "publishing empire:" I've got two books nearing completion. One is waiting on art; the second is waiting on art, formatting, and a slight amount of rewriting.

The art (and this is the really exciting part) is coming. I've commissioned work from two different artists (one for each book) and both appear to be on the ball...I've received preliminary illustrations from both in the last few days. For me, that is excellent news. It is exciting news. The artwork is always the last piece for my books, seeing that (to this date) I have been unable to rely on my own inadequate drawing skills. Seeing illustrations get done...it's like smelling something delicious cooking in the oven and knowing that the feast will be ready in a very short time.

And more than that, seeing the work from an artist is a validation of sorts. Sure, I am paying them, but the fact that they're doing the work and following my art direction and that the results are good...well, it makes me feel like a real live book publisher or something. Many are the times that I've felt like a big fraud...not just with the writing/design thing, but with other areas of my life. Just second guessing my choices, second guessing my motives, second guessing my authenticity. Probably because I believe I should have more to show for my life up to this point...which is pretty damn ridiculous when I actually take stock of myself.

[what can I say? People expected great things of me when I was younger. Writing the occasional RPG book every five years for an audience of a few hundred feels like pretty small potatoes]

[but still...ridiculous. I look up at the TV from my table (I'm drinking coffee at the Baranof...again) and see the immensely talented Wayne Brady is now hosting "Let's Make a Deal" on daytime television, sporting a gigantic lycra turban. I'm sure he's making a good living, but if I was in his shoes, I would probably be having the same misgivings (regarding my entertainment career) that I've been having this morning. Probably more...is the beard symbolic of his feelings? Does he day drink more than he once did?]

*AHEM* So, anyway...the waiting. I hate the waiting. We are at the "watching the pot boil" stage of things and there's no way to hasten the process. I've never been a pregnant woman (duh) but I'd liken the mental stress at this point to be around the 7th or 8th month range. Not just in wanting things to be done, but in preparing for what comes after.

No, scratch that. It doesn't really approach expecting a child...much more stress (especially regarding the "after" bit) with that, even as a father. Poor analogy. Point is, the waiting can't be helped. I want the books to have illustrations, I want the art from the artists I've commissioned, and I don't want the project botched or rushed. Well...maybe rushed a little.

Now...the OTHER bit of impatience: the second book that is ALSO getting artwork, but that requires a bit more work is Cry Dark Future. Yep, really. It is going to be published in the form that it was when originally play tested: all the gripes and grumps I've had the last few years about it being derivative trash, etc.? Don't care anymore. Yeah, it's derivative. And I'm a hack. I'm content to own both those facts so long as I can get the thing out the door.

Here's a thought: it's hard to really come up with an original idea. Few people can do it (or do it on a regular basis). I can't: I'm good at tweaking and polishing and reworking other people's stuff, but originating awesomeness? Eh...not so much. And is that so bad? Star Wars is mainly Kurosawa's The Hidden Fortress colored by Flash Gordon with some WW2 fighter plane action spliced in, and it's entertained a whole bunch of people over the years (as has the film's incredibly self-derivative sequels). And while I wouldn't expect CDF to meet the same sort of fanfare, I know some people will enjoy running it. After all, I did...and the Shadowrun concept doesn't fire my pistons nearly as much as it did when I was a young teenager.

As for the rules not being "simple" or "streamlined" enough: the fact is, they're simple enough. And just as I've gained a newfound appreciation for the "complexity" of Advanced Dungeons & Dragons, I've decided there's no reason to fear the fiddly. Look here: the systems are still more intuitive and straightforward than, say, the dice pools of Shadowrun, the asymmetrical systems provide interesting twists, and the internal consistency feels far more "realistic" than trying to push all the crunch into a universal or "one roll" system (which I was never going to do anyway).

And do I really need to do a game with another Vancian magic system? No, I do not.

But I'm digressing (as usual): the thing that tries my patience here is the reviewing, rewriting, and formatting, all of which takes time. Time, that most precious of commodities, and the one so often in shortest supply...at least for me. Finding the time to do what needs to be done with all the other pressing concerns in my life makes the reworks so...darn...slooooooow.  And things are just going to get crazier as I start a new part-time gig (next month), and have kids joining basketball and baseball teams. Plus there's the daughter's birthday, the wedding anniversary, the school auction, the last two months of soccer (three games last weekend...sheesh!), volunteer stuff, home improvements (need gravel for the driveway).

[thank goodness the Seahawks got bumped from the playoffs. One less distraction]

Finding the time to make progress is tough, and thus progress is slow...which makes me grumpy as hell, even though I still have to wait (anyway) on art. It doesn't help that I had to upgrade my MS Word to work with the new Mac OS (Catalina) and the damn thing looks different from the way it was the last, oh, 15 years or so.  Grrrrrr...

Time. Patience. I wish I had more of both. I know I should try cultivating more of both (I'll stress less and live longer)...but knowing and doing are two different things, as I'm sure my astute readers are all aware.

ANYway...I wish I had some zinger to wrap this post up with, but I don't. Just wanted to check in with folks, if briefly (while firing down a couple pots of coffee). Right now, I've got to get back to work.

Later, folks.

Crap...Crap...Crap...

That's the title of the post I started to write back around mid-July, as I went through all the various super powers found in Palladium's Heroes Unlimited products over the years.

Yes, Kevin Siembieda has nothing on me: I've purchased pretty much every HU product ever-penned by the man over the years...sometimes more than once!...all those "Powers Unlimited" books, GM and Galaxy Guides, etc. I've got a whole shelf filled with Palladium product and a good chunk is Heroes Unlimited related (the bulk, of course, is the prolific Rifts line...). And doing a "deep dive" of the evolution of the game...and the every-expanding list of powers down the years...simply leads me to the conclusion that nearly all of it after the original, unrevised first edition is crap. Just...crap. By which I mean "useless drivel," unnecessary filler and fiddly wanking that's just...so...not...needed.

In my opinion (of course). Your mileage may vary (of course).

So for those wondering what I've been up to the last couple weeks (other than winding down Ye Old Summer Fun Stuff, etc.), it's this: I'm back on the design train, designing my own superhero game. Again (*sigh*). No, I haven't been writing, other than writing notes. No, it hasn't been play-tested yet (though it's ready to start...going to be doing that with the kids this week, God willing). But, at the moment...it seems like I have a pretty solid start to a nice little system. A gritty little system that has absolutely no "point buy" and is EXTREMELY "non-abstract."

In other words, the kind of supers game I want to play.

If it ends up developing into anything, well, I will of course blog more about it (as I find the time to do so). However, just want folks to know I'm working on something game-related and not just blowing the blog-o-sphere off for no good reason.

Carry on, good people. My advice to folks suffering under excessive hotness (ah, yes...climate change) is to stay in a shady indoor area and play table-top RPGs as much as possible. With gusto.
: )

Let the Madness Commence

While I have no doubt there are some who just love to hear all about my personal stresses, I will forbear regaling you with tales of woe, save that I have been up since 5am in order to babysit a friend of my child (who lacked daycare this morning) and have only just now got my children down to sleep (it's a bit after 11:30pm). True, I did get a 90 minute siesta in around 3pm, but I've otherwise been "on the clock" the entire day...a day that started with something slightly less than a tremendous hangover (trivia night with the family at the local pub last night and I had one-too-many IPAs).

Even so, I still managed to finish the entire text of the new book, including the table of contents. Yes, I still have the headers to do (always a pain in the ass for these game books), and it has no illustrations (save for a few placeholders), but it's complete and done and I dig it. It's a nice bit of campaign setting for B/X, the first I'll actually be publishing, though I've got work on maybe four or six in Ye Old Hard Drive. I'll write more about the thing in the (hopefully) near future, but as of this evening I'm filled with at least a small sense of satisfaction.

Also a slight sense of trepidation. I've more-or-less decided to take a stab at doing my own illustrating for this thing though, frankly, the idea is pretty batshit insane. Still, I'll try doing a couple sketches and see how they turn out (need to set up the scanner my wife brought back from Paraguay in December)...if it's too shitty I'll start soliciting from artists I've got on my contact list. I toyed with the idea of some kind of "black album," but illustrating is a nice challenge. Besides my children like to color too, and it is summer vacation...had them both painting Blood Bowl miniatures last week (yes, the five year old as well); maybe I'll put them to work.

Or maybe not. I do have some money left in the kitty after all...enough for a small art budget anyway. We'll see, we'll see...this type of thing requires a very specific type of artwork and (if it's coming from professionals), I'm going to want to be a little choosey.

But first things first: got to finish those damn headers. And I've got to get up early tomorrow to get the car to the shop by 9am (we've got a road trip to Montana next week). And I've got to get some type of sleep, even a few hours. Man, I am beat.

Till later.

New Baby

Sorry for the absence of the last few days. I've been busy: last week of school for the kids, soccer jamborees all weekend, figuring out summer plans. Family asked me what I wanted for Father's Day, and I got them to sign off on letting me go to DragonFlight 40 this year (in August)...not that I don't love my fam, but even con gaming is better than no gaming. And I need a break from real life.

"But JB...what about your early morning writing sessions?" Truth be told, I have been writing most mornings...but I'm trying to put the finishing touches on a book that I started four years ago in Paraguay and that I really need to get out the door. No, no...it's not Cry Dark Future (but that's coming to...yes, really). Part of my maturing process is not letting this stuff that's "almost done" linger around anymore. I'm a couple-three pages from completing the text on the thing, and then another final edit or two. It's not terribly original or "smart," but I think it's kind of cool...and it is for the B/X game so I might be able to make some scratch off it. Hoping to, anyway, but mainly I just need to get it done.

And I'm taking (for the nonce) a break from the South American campaign. This is a hard one to cop to, but...well, it was really starting to get me depressed. I just needed a break and a breather, but I will get back to it (I have more to say but I'm saving that for some subject-specific posts).

Anyway...that's the quick news. Still considering the whole "new blog" thang I posted about the other day. The difficult thing is moving all my "stuff" over...links to products and such. The set-up. Moving is my least favorite thing to do (seriously...I'd pretty much prefer to do anything besides move) and moving blogs, while not on the same scale, is the same basic flavor of "ugh." It would help if I actually had my web site up and operating so that I could just link the blogs there...but then, I'd need to know something about editing and operating a web site. (*sigh*)

More later. Want to get back to the book. More on that later.

Hope all the dads had a happy Father's Day over the weekend! Good luck in the year going forward!
: )

Low Points

Today is my 48th post of the year. As things appear, 2018 will mark my lowest output of blog posts since I started the B/X Blackrazor blog back in June of 2009.

What can I say? I lost a big chunk of months...four, in fact. The only other time I lost more than two months of blogging was, well, never; my first year I only blogged in seven months, but they were consecutive months (June through December), and I still somehow got more than 300 posts done.

Fact is, this was a down year, for a lot of reasons. Some of those reasons were justifiable...and remain in place. Some were not, and I've tried to eliminate those from my life...trying to focus on the things that truly matter. And while blogging itself might not be super high on my list of priorities, it is...still...a far more practical use of my time than other things. It allows me to practice writing, it allows me to keep my mind on game design, and it allows me to be a part of the gaming community.

These things (writing, design, and community) ARE important to me. And unfortunately, this has been a down year in all three of these areas, too. This is something I intend to rectify, for both my own sanity and my own sense of self-worth.

"Self-worth?" Yeah, that. Part of my personal sense of self-worth comes from contributing constructively of my talents to a wider group of people. Most of what I've been doing lately has been playing small...contributing only to my immediate family, and spending my free time entertaining myself. None of which makes me feel extremely great about myself. My old job (that I worked in for fifteen years before moving to Paraguay) allowed me to feel like I was at least being a useful member of society, even if it wasn't making particular use of my God-given talents and creativity. Lately, though, the only thing I've been able to hang my hat on is the idea that I am "raising good children" who will someday benefit society. Which is...kind of lazy. And not quite good enough, anyway. I mean, if I'M not doing anything for other people, what kind of example am I really providing to my kids? What kind of role-model am I really being?

Anyway, balance and moderation have never really been my strong suits. And that's fine (we all have things we're good at and things we're not). I've been going too far one direction, and it's led me to a low point. It's time to move the scale the other way a bit, and one way I can make that happen is cutting out some of the useless dross that has mired me in inertia, and turn my attention and passion to constructive action...which I realize is both a "duh" thought and an "easier said than done" kind of thing. But that's it, that's where I'm at.

Consider this blog post a mark of my current mental state at this point in time. I shall not be waiting for the New Year to start resolving my resolutions.

Cheers, folks.

Comes Chaos

OKAY. I spent a bit of time at lunch today getting a little stinky-drinky and writing more bad JuJu about Paraguayan ignorance (and drawing parallels with certain presidential campaigns in the home country)...but I'm almost 100% certain that no one wants to read more of that kind of nonsense.

So let's talk about B/X-related nonsense. And, no, not superheroes.

Waaaaaay back in January, I mentioned I was going to get in on this whole B/X Campaign Challenge thing, set up by Mr. James V. West. I also said I figured I could knock-out a 64 page supplement in about 64 days, giving myself (approximately) till the end of March to get it done. Seeing as how it's been seven days since the last time I worked on the thing (just checked...March 4th) people may be wondering how is the project progressing?

Pretty good. I'm at 53 pages (formatted)...a bit more than 36,000 words without counting headers and page numbers. Since I'm aiming for about 58-60 (to make room for illustrations, a cover leaf, and table of contents), I'm pretty close to completion.

It's always that last bit that's the bitch, ain't it?

Actually, that's NOT why I've stalled. For a "campaign book," I started to find there was surprisingly little campaign to the thing...mainly a collection of rules and notes about how to inject a little crazy into one's standard B/X game. I started to think maybe I needed a bit more setting, a bit less system. And then, of course, I got distracted with other brainstorms...

But I'm digressing. As I wrote back on the 22nd (when I was first considering the challenge), the idea I had was an incredibly derivative one, and it still is....specifically, I am adapting the old Warhammer Realm of Chaos books (Slaves to Darkness and The Lost and the Damned) to the B/X game system, an idea that I once thought was pretty ridiculous. Also, not a terribly original idea, considering folks like Steven A. Cook have already done similar work (his Hordes of Chaos is a nice little "monster manual" designed for use with Labyrinth Lord).

But whatever...it's only a 64 page book. It's specifically designed for use with B/X (which everyone loves and now has access to, thanks to the release of the PDFs). It files all the serial numbers off anything that might be considered IP by other game companies. And it's written for a B/X system...for a game of exploration and treasure hunting...not a war-game.

And it does have a setting...one that could easily be expanded with additional books, if I was so inclined.

Slaves to Darkness.
So good, I own two copies.

The fact of the matter is Slaves to Darkness and The Lost and the Damned are damn masterworks. They have terrible, disgusting, magnificent, tragic themes. They are well-designed (for their time and their purpose) and are filled with beautiful, terrible, horrible, awesome artwork. They are classics that most buffs of dark fantasy (and dark fantasy games) should have on their shelves. I own physical copies of both, having paid an exorbitant price for one after many years of searching.

They are also fairly unplayable as they are. While the fluff from the books have penetrated the Warhammer universe for nearly three decades (Slaves was written in 1988 and last time I checked a 40K Chaos Codex they were STILL recycling quotes from its most excellent pages), the Warhammer game long ago dropped the systems found within their pages, keeping only the themes. Mordheim's chaos war band was a pretty poor substitute for a champion-led retinue of miscreants and mutants.

SO, because I love these books...their themes (which simply emphasize the dark spaces in the human heart to terrible extremes) and their mutants and their monsters and their madness...because I do love them, I've adapted them to a system that I love (B/X) so that they can see play at the table. They deserve to see play at the table.

And I find the setting I've designed (that I'm thinking I might want to detail in greater depth) so intriguing that I'd really like to run a campaign set in it, despite having voiced (only a few months ago) a longing to try a Holmes-style campaign. B/X...sucking me back in! Seducing me to the darkest of dark sides!

Anyhoo, it's almost done and my intention is to do my own artwork for it (not sure how that's going to go...) and sell it for a pittance in electronic form. That's my intention; we'll see what happens. But regardless, I've got to finish the writing first.

Hopefully by the end of the month.
; )

It's The Little Things

Just came up with a much better title for my B/X campaign setting...and it works well in both English and Spanish.

Awesome.
: )

Channeling My Inner Nurgle

I'm about 30 pages into my 64 page campaign book for B/X which means I'm a bit ahead of schedule, considering my personal deadline of March 29th. Of course, I haven't nearly the talent or confidence in my own artwork as some of the participants, so who knows how long it will take me to get illustrations drawn and scanned...this thing might be one ugly, ugly book when all's said and done.

Which is fine, actually. I need something easy-shmeezy, something I'm not too terribly invested in, to try this whole illustration experiment. Waiting on art (whether paid or volunteer) is probably my least favorite part of self-publishing...it is, in fact, the main reason Cry Dark Future wasn't published upon completion (though I'm somewhat glad in retrospect...waiting gave me time to see I wasn't tremendously pleased with certain aspects of the book. Don't worry...it'll be out there someday).

B/X is very "easy-shmeezy." Especially for doing a knock-off / adaptation fantasy setting, it's incredibly comprehensive in scope. Which is to say: it doesn't need much more than "re-skinning" to make something that feels "new," yet doesn't break the system. The scaling between spell levels is pretty accurate (with the exception of sleep), and pretty easy to follow, for example...you can color hold person into any sort of "non-death-target-elimination" spell, and level it up or down depending on changes in range, save, and number/specificity of creatures affected. That's a real plus, and nice when you're tasked with adding 40-50 setting-specific spells to the game.

Right now, I'm considering how I want to handle a particular magical disease. B/X has four different forms of contagion hardwired into their rules (not counting green slime):

• "Hideous wasting disease:" Causes -2 penalty to attack rolls, prevents magical curing, and doubles natural healing time. Illness is fatal in 2D12 days. Contracted by cause disease spell and failed saving throw. Treated by cure disease (explicit).
• Lycanthropy: changes victim into a were-creature after 2D12 days. Contracted via severe HP loss (>half) to wear creature. Treated by "a high-level cleric (11th level or higher...)."
• Mummy "rot:" prevents magical healing and wounds require 10 times as long to heal. Contracted via damage from mummy. Treated by "magical curing" (though unclear how as rot prevents magical healing).
• Rats (any size): one-in-four chance of death in D6 days; otherwise, bedridden for one month. Contracted via rat bite (1 in 20 chance per bite) plus failed save versus poison. Treated by cure disease spell or bed rest.

That's not a bad spread, though it's interesting that the spell cure disease is only explicitly useful for half of the system-specified illness. In the campaign setting I'm writing, cure disease should be much more useful (there's more than a few disease spreading monsters and magic items), but I'm wondering if I shouldn't be creating my own form of infection rather than simply "re-skinning" the stuff listed.

Nurgle's Rot is a fairly iconic piece of (dark) fantasy gaming; from the Warhammer universe, you can find its page long description in GW's 1990 book, The Lost and the Damned:

Nurgles Rot, often known simply as the Rot, is a terrible contagious disease which affects the victim's mortal body and his shadow-self or spirit. A person who dies from Nurgles Rot is turned into a Plaguebearer and becomes a servant of Nurgle himself. Nurgles Rot epitomizes the core of Nurgle's ethos: suffering and overcoming suffering by great bravery and resolve. Those who contract the Rot often slay themselves in reckless battle, hoping to die quickly and cleanly and by this means to avoid becoming a Plaguebearer.

A plaguebearer is a lesser, humanoid demon of the Chaos god Nurgle. The text states it takes "several months" for the Rot to kill its victim; mechanically, this is modeled by each battle on the tabletop slightly altering the profile of the victim. After participating in seven battles, the victim dies, birthing a new plaguebearer. Oh, yeah...and the Rot "cannot be cured or its progress halted in any way."

[apologies if the original (1986) WFRPG has a description of Nurgle's Rot; I know there is a sample scenario that includes a champion of Nurgle in the book, as well as a number of descibed illnesses; however, I don't have my copy with me in Paraguay]

Typical plaguebearer. No, I didn't draw this.

Tempting as it is to include an incredibly contagious magical disease that cannot be cured and that gradually transforms its victim into a demon, I don't think that's what I want to do. After all, it's hard to see how such a plague wouldn't wipe out the entirety of the planet's population...imagine a "zombie apocalypse" in which the zombie were immune to non-magical weapons. That's a pretty shitty scenario any way you look at it (and the focus of the campaign is NOT some sort of D&D World War Z).

No, it doesn't really sound fun...though I like the idea of contagion. And I like the idea of gradual decrepitude...of individual's being diminished over time. However, it would have to be pretty fast-acting to have any impact on gameplay, seeing as how PCs have fairly easy access to magical curing (cure disease is available to any cleric beginning at 6th level).

Anyhoo, that's what's on my mind this morning.
: )

Progress Report

This year, I've got more blog posts up (and more substantive ones...well, IMO) since 2012. Which makes me feel a little better about ditching the blog this week, but not much. Always the guilt about letting readers down.

*ahem* Anyway, it's been another busy one for me with a lot of child extracurricular activities to attend to and the spouse getting ready for a five day trip to Mexico. HOWever, mainly I've been putting together the latest-greatest project and I've got 20 decent pages. I've updated and incorporated a lot of updated material from earlier, shit-canned projects, which has made the process easier, but it's still going to be tricky to hold the thing down to 48 pages. Even if I keep the interior art on the same minimal scale as Señor Holmes, by my count I've only got about 24 pages left to complete the thing...and that needs to include the monster section, combat, development, and GM info. Tight...very tight.

It didn't help that I used about double the page count for the magic section. Ooo, but it's so neat! And right now I'm working on "fun stuff" (like magic items and something I call skills but which bear little resemblance to Ye Old D20), and that's looking like it'll eat up three or four more pages than the space allotted for 'em in the original game.

*sigh* But it's a good exercise...stuff has to be cut, and my pruning has actually helped make for a better looking system (why 100 skills when 60 does the job? Hell, I could probably whittle it down to 50, but I'm trying to make the system robust).

Anyhoo. Okay...just wanted to drop a quick note as to why I'm "away" from the blog. I was feeling guilty, okay? But really...this time I am working and not just futzing around.

Now, back to work.
; )

Busy, busy, busy.

Oh Boy!

Finished modifying the Pendragon chargen system for my Crowns of Blood concept. Looks pretty darn good. Long...but good. The notes are crammed into a half-dozen spreadsheets in Excel (that's a literal half-dozen, mind you), but I'm thinking I probably need to re-do the "outfits" from Knights Adventurous to make it more "Westeros specific." Those guys wear a LOT of full plate armor, after all.

Yeah, I'll get to that today. And I'll try to get the first installment up and posted sometime this afternoon, also (probably after the boy goes down for his nap). Unfortunately, everyone's sick and vomiting (again). This fucking place. Food spoils so fast here, it takes a steady stream of alcohol to keep my digestive system sanitized. Unfortunately, my kids don't have that luxury.

Ugh. Vomit.

O By The Way (and moving away from that topic)...I think I've hit upon an idea for re-conceptualizing the Pendragon Glory system so that it works for Crowns of Blood. The basic gist is that instead of worrying about personal Glory (watching that knightly ego hard at work), the game's going to be all about working for the Glory of your noble House/family. Winning tournaments and getting showered with honor on the battlefield is still good. So is having famous traits and passions and being a chivalrous ("True") knight. But marrying well, and making sure your siblings are married; taking care of (and avenging) family members and slights to the house honor; helping defend your lands and increase your own holdings, not to mention conducting oneself as befits a noble and forming alliances...all THAT stuff is going to add up to a tremendous heap of Glory, too.

The quest to elevate one's house (whether the characters are lords, banner men, sworn swords, or foot soldiers serving said house) is what will force characters to interact in the political machinations of the realm. In some ways, the Glory rules need to be simplified and streamlined, because there's a need to track the Glory gains of other house members, not just your own PC. It'll all culminate in the Big End Game for the campaign: Robert's Rebellion. At the end of the civil war, the family/house that has accumulated the most Glory will be the one that lays claims the Iron Throne. Check it out:

Ser Elys Westerling and Lord Crakehall and others of his father's knights burst into the hall in time so see the last of it, so there was no way for Jaime to vanish and let some braggart steal the praise or blame... 

"The castle is ours, ser, and the city," Roland Crakehall told him...he had not seemed surprised to find Aerys slain; Jaime had been Lord Tywin's son long before he had been named to the Kingsguard. 

"Tell them the Mad King is dead," he commanded. "Spare all those who yield and hold them captive." 

"Shall I proclaim a new king as well?" Crakehall asked, and Jaime read the question plain: Shall it be your father, or Robert Baratheon, or do you mean to try to make a new dragonking? He thought for a moment of the boy Viserys, fled to Dragonstone, and of Rhaegar's infant son Aegon, still in Maegor's with his mother. A new Targaryen king and my father as Hand. How the wolves will howl, and the storm lord choke with rage. For a moment he was tempted, until he glanced down again at the body on the floor, in its spreading pool of blood. His blood is in both of them, he thought. 

"Proclaim who you bloody well like," he told Crakehall. Then he climbed the Iron Throne and seated himself with his sword across his knees, to see who would come to claim the kingdom.

- From Storm of Swords, George R. R. Martin

There's nothing the players can do to stop the war or forestall the killing of Mad King by his youngest Kingsguard, Jaime Lannister. Fate has got that part written: the Targaryen dynasty WILL fall in the 283rd year after the taming of Westeron by Aegon the Conqueror and his two sister-brides. But what comes after that?

I don't really care.

Oh, yeah...it is going to happen.

Crowns of Blood isn't about Robert Baratheon's ass getting fatter as it warms the Iron Throne for fifteen years. It's not about Eddard Stark's betrayal and beheading, nor about the fates of his half dozen children, nor the death and resurrection of his good Lady Wife. It's not concerned with the "mystery of the Others," nor about the War of Five Kings, nor the castration and torture of Theon Greyjoy, heir to the Iron Islands. And it is ESPECIALLY unconcerned with whatever Dany the Targaryen is doing with dragons and Dothraki and slave liberation on the the eastern continent of Essos.

All that "stuff" makes for good (well...watchable) television...and I'm happy to see it unfold over the next couple years on Ye Old HBO. But for playing an RPG? Nah, not interested.

I've got a beginning and an end for the saga...MY saga. And that end is a kingdom in flames and up for grabs. And whichever PC has accumulated the most Glory for his house over successive generations is going to get to claim the spoils...in this case the crown of Aerys II...for their liege and family, or whichever family they designate as the "worthy" successor.

See? Objectives of play. How cool is that?

Okay...now to take a look at these equipment lists....

Confessions of an Insecure Game Designer

Hi, allow me to re-introduce myself.

I’m JB…at least, that’s my handle in the blog-o-sphere. I live in Seattle. I have a regular 40 hour job that gives me very little stress and makes zero demands on me outside the office. I have a wife and child that I love a lot, though we don’t always get along as well as we should. I have two beagles who wake me up between 4 and 5 every morning and who contribute to my general state of endless fatigue…on the other hand, I am probably their favorite person in the world (I feed them, more often than not), and despite their idiosyncrasies, I have immortalized them by naming my game company for them.

Game company? Well, that’s kind of a stretch but I needed some type of title for this hobby thing I do in my spare time. I’m a gamer…I enjoy playing games. My preferred types of games do not involve 21^st century technology. Cribbage is good, as is Hearts. Yahtzee is good. I like cards and dice…I’ve got a streak of the degenerate I guess. I used to smoke, too, but I decided I liked life too much to keep that particular habit.

Role-playing games are good because I have a pretty active imagination and most RPGs are “adventure oriented” and I like adventure. In fantasy anyway. I’m not much for heights, or extreme-type sports, or enlisting in the military, which cuts out a lot of “real life” adventures I might have.

A good RPG (to me) has a rich fantasy world to fire my imagination, a slim and/or easily managed set of rules, and a few objective means of system resolution (things not requiring a whole lot of GM fiat). Dice rolls are good for this type of thing. And I like dice.

["rich fantasy world" does not necessarily mean "complex setting." Boot Hill has a rich fantasy world because A) there's a LOT of history/fiction available on the "Old West" and B) pretending to play a cowboy is an obvious fantasy!]

I have a lot of opinions on games. It comes from liking them, playing them, thinking about them. The advent of the internet and free blogs (like this fine blogger machine here), allows me a platform to vent my opinions into the internet world. Sometimes those opinions have been bounced back by others. Sometimes those opinions have been changed or transformed by things I’ve read. Over time and life, I continue to evolve…or rather refine…my point of view. Somewhere along the line, I got the idea to start contributing to this thing I liked – gaming – in a way more than simply venting opinion. Creating something…something folks could hold and enjoy, something folks could use for their own amusement…became not just an interesting idea, but something important.

I have called myself an “artist” in the past with regard to music and acting. But I’ve never created anything lasting, unless you count the occasional fond memory. That’s nice, of course (nice to have your ego stroked by someone 10-20 years after the event happened)…but that memory will die with that person. An experience can’t be truly shared with a person who wasn’t present at the time. It can be described, it can be used to teach or amuse, but in the end it’s all just hearsay mixed with the jumbled thoughts and memories of the person telling the tale.

A book, though, is different. It can be held, it can be kept, it can be shown, it can be lent. It can be bought and sold and traded. It can be mined for ideas (like an experience), but it exists independent and concrete of the person doing the mining…it can benefit more than just a single person. And yet it is still an expression of one’s creativity – like a song or a performance – as well as a physical commodity.

And so I’ve discovered a deep satisfaction in the act of publishing. Self-publishing, of course, because I’m a bit of a control freak, not to mention shy with my creativity. On stage, there is a distance between yourself and an audience. Working closely with other people in the act of collaboration? That’s tough.

[hmmm…now that I think about it, it’s always been tough for me to collaborate with my stage-mates as well – whether you’re talking about a band or the cast of a production. Maybe I should have studied painting instead…]

Anyway, that’s me. I understand that I’ve embarked on a different type of artistic endeavor in writing and publishing books…even game books. I understand there’s a honing and refining of one’s craft that’s needed if I’m going to continue and hope to create useful, constructive art. I also understand that there is much I have to learn and that the best resource for that learning is from others who have gone before me.

That being said…

There were a LOT of game designers present at Dragonflight this year. Much more than I remembered from my last stint (in 2010), but it’s possible I was just overwhelmed by the entire experience previously. It was, after all, my first gaming convention (or “fun-type” convention of any type). This time I was much less whelmed by the venue, and was able to concentrate on observing my surroundings. I met and had the opportunity to speak with several designers. Some offered me advice. Some offered me information. Some offered me encouragement. Some just desperately, desperately wanted me to buy or play or support their pet game. Those were the toughest ones to deal with.

I saw a lot of games in binders…binders with a nice illustrated title page tucked in the front of the binder. Huge-ass binders, each one representing someone’s fantasy opus. Some of these had many players at their tables. Some of them had none. One person waved a handful of loose papers at me as I was leaving (early) Saturday evening. “I have pre-gens!” he cried.

I looked at a lot of character sheets. A LOT of character sheets. Instead of sitting down at tables, I’d just circle the groups while the young (or not-so-young) designer was giving “the spiel” and I’d look over shoulders at character sheets. I saw archetypes like “cleric.” That particular game actually had quite a few players at the table.

I saw a LOT of new games I’d never heard of: ones that had no connection to the OSR as far as I know. I might be considered a part of the “Old School Renaissance,” but my game is a lot farther from D&D than some of these games. I saw a lot of games that incorporated phrases like “D20 sensibilities” in their description.

This might be a good time to talk about Pathfinder, as I’ve had (what I think is) a profound change of opinion on that game based on what I saw at Dragonflight XXXIV. On Sunday, during one of the several breaks in my activity, I wandered into the 2^nd floor hall that had been set aside for the Pathfinder Society. The hall was too big for the number of people actually present…at the last convention it had been used for Warhammer (and 40K) matches and it seemed fuller because each table was usually only occupied by a pair of combatants. Even so, there were at least as many people playing Pathfinder as all the people in the downstairs “role-playing hallway” combined. Each table was round and had anywhere from six to eight players. Each table had a pile of books and a battlemat in the center occupied by a number of miniatures. The participants (both players and DMs) were from a wide range of ages, young and old. All (as far as I could tell) were having a great – or at least pretty good – time.

Pathfinder is not the devil. Pathfinder is a fun and popular game. As long as it remains well-supported by its publisher (as it is currently), I believe it will enjoy a long and fruitful life and bring great joy to a number of people. I don’t know if I call it role-playing or not…heck, I’m personally inclined to give up that term altogether [the only reason I was running 5AK in the “RPG” section is that it didn’t seem to fit anywhere else]. But regardless, Pathfinder's grown into its own self-sustaining entity…one that I don’t begrudge in the slightest. That is to say, NOT ONLY am I not going to fight Pathfinder (i.e. take a “live and let live” attitude), but I’m not going to actively discourage folks from playing Patherfinder, either. By which I mean, I’m not going to denigrate the game or its designers or attempt to “show it up” with regard to other D&D editions or OSR clones, including my own. In the past, I was inclined to do this because I was of the opinion (rightly or not) that Pathfinder was, well, bad somehow. And I’ve decided it’s not. It’s just a game…a game that plenty of people like and enjoy playing. I myself played a lot of 3^rd edition D&D which I consider to be about the same thing as Pathfinder.

Having said that, I’ve also come to the conclusion that I have absolutely zero interest in Pathfinder. The people who enjoy the game are getting an enjoyment of a type I’m not interested in having. It’s like Settlers of Catan or Axis and Allies or Magic the Gathering. These are popular games that plenty of people have plenty of fun playing and with which I’ve had fun with myself (save for Settlers which I’ve never had much interest in trying). But I don’t have any desire or interest to take part in those games. That’s the main thing I realized as I wandered through the Pathfinder tables. All these people having a great time, thoroughly enjoying their game play, and registering absolutely zero on my “interest scale.” And I’ve played the game! It’s like when I walk into Gary’s Games or Café Mox/Card Kingdom and people are playing Magic at the tables…it doesn’t bug me at all. It just doesn’t pique my interest.

SO: no more raining on the Pathfinder parade. For me, they’ve entered the realm of GURPS players. I just stand in wonderment that I had any real resentment towards the game at all.

Back to the basement where “the other role-playing” was taking place…here was a land that, in contrast to the “Pathfinder Society,” seemed to have some type of shame or sadness attached to it. Maybe it was just the area they set aside for us. Maybe it was the number of tables that had scheduled to host events and that had zero players (I wasn’t the only person getting stiffed at the convention). Or perhaps, this is just me looking at the event through the lenses of my own self-consciousness.

As I wrote in my other post, I spent a lot of time in the Story Games Lounge, playing indie-games. Not indie in the sense of “independent designers;” there were lots of those on display in the RPG dungeon, as noted. No, I’m talking about the Forge-type, Story Now games: non-traditional “RPGs” designed to explore premise, or do something other than “fantasy adventure,” or do fantasy adventure in an unconventional fashion.

Sitting in those games…whether as a participant or as a quiet observer…I found myself feeling incredibly self-conscious. It’s not just that the people playing were intelligent individuals (plenty of gamers have the high IQ thang). No, they weren’t just smart: they were clever. And quick-witted. And funny. And creative. And incredibly UN-self-conscious about their own geekiness or their gaming hobby. They were completely good natured and un-judgmental.

I found them disconcerting. Being in their presence, I found me judging myself. Even if they would not.

Ridiculous. I’m the guy who likes to bring non-gamers into the hobby and put them at ease. I’m the guy who runs the game that tries to get everyone involved without judging their choices (with regard to character or action)...at least at the table. I’m the dude that likes to create an open, safe environment for players to imagine and “role-play” and have a good time in the imaginary, virtual world.

I felt small. With those folks, I didn’t even bother to bring up the fact that I’d just published Five Ancient Kingdoms or anything about it. These people didn’t give a shit about deconstructed Dungeons & Dragons…why waste their time?

*sigh*

This kind of thing is my personal hang-up, I realize. We all have our foibles…mine is a combination of “not recognizing my own self-worth” (in more than a couple categories) as well as “thinks he’s smarter than most people.” Maybe I’m an intellectual bully. No one’s ever accused me of that, and maybe that’s too harsh anyway, but perhaps that describes something of my make-up. Gaming with people who do a helluva’ lot more gaming than myself, and who couldn't care less whether or not there’s a new edition of D&D on the horizon (and are too busy having a fun to worry about spitting in someone else’s good time anyway) and just, well…*sigh* (again).

Yeah, I’m probably being too harsh. Like I said, the people who’d come into the Story Games Lounge (a constantly rotating cast of characters) were all very nice, and seemed perfectly happy and encouraging of my “showboating” play style (I’ll talk about Dresden in a separate post…perhaps). There was certainly no undermining that occurred and the facilitator asked me to hit him up on Facebook sometime. Who knows if I will or not. Certainly, I’ve yet to even email the folks who gave me their email addresses with a request to forward them my “web site information” so that they could check out my games. I mean, what am I supposed to do…give ‘em my blog? That’s the only “web site” I have besides a couple gmail accounts.

Ugh…self-conscious game designer. Did I mention that yet?

Actually, as I wrote yesterday I already had a chance to “decompress” a bit with Tim during our rides to and from the convention (Mr. Morgan is a self-published game designer himself, in addition to the long-time manager of Gary’s Games in Greenwood). Tim, bless his heart, talked me off the ledge I’d (mentally) worked myself into after two days of stress, foul-ups, and “semi-professional" failure. I DO have some faith and confidence in myself (duh), and I fully intend to press on and all, but man-o-man sometimes I really get the shakes…at least internally.

Self-respect. That’s what I’m currently learning.

And publishing, of course…creating that concrete thing that can be passed on and shared with others. A tangible creative expression designed to help others find creative self-expression in game play. That’s what I’m shooting for. And as long as I keep my focus on the objective, the shakes seem to subside to a negligible level.

Eyes on the prize. Don’t look down. All that jazz.

So regarding the publishing thing…or rather, the marketing thing…I did pick up a couple-few useful ideas from Dragonflight, which I’ll be sharing in my next post. Maybe a little bit of “what not to do” but…well, you folks will have to decide whether or not it’s useful to you. It’s stuff that’ll be useful to me, assuming I’m able to keep my shit together and make it out to another of these things!

; )

Cheers!

Countdown to 5AK - Ten Days Till Release

Give or take.

[somewhere in the San Juans....Orcas Island to be specific...]

The magic of the internet is truly a wonderful thing when it comes to "getting work done." I can email manuscripts to proof-readers I've never met, get the documents back, and (after making changes) get the  finished volumes of to the printer electronically. If I was so inclined, I could simply have the printed books shipped to my home and never see anyone but the postmaster...but I'm too much of a control freak to be that hands off.

It was back in February 2012 that I first suggested people stop wasting their brain power absorbing new rule systems being published as part of WotC's business model and simply write their own version of D&D, an idea I referred to as "D&D Mine" (in direct opposition to "D&D Next"). My idea at the time was to do a small, free supplement for OD&D, not unlike Planet Eris, that would simply combine a bunch of my house rules along with (perhaps) a simple setting fit for the D&D game.

Somewhere along the line in the last year and a half, that idea morphed into something waaaay different. Deconstructing the original game led me to building the thing from the foundation up. The "simple setting" became a deep research project into the 8th century middle eastern history and culture. The small, free supplement became a three volume fantasy adventure game with its own set of custom dice. I didn't start this project with any particular ambition, but sometimes stuff just snowballs, ya' know?

Yesterday, I sent the final manuscripts off to the printer. I'm hopeful that the print run will be complete by the 5th (in time for Dragonflight) and that there won't be any issues. Barring potential problems and set-backs. 5AK should be ready for release to the public within ten days or so. The price point hasn't yet been determined, because I don't know what the final cost per copy is going to be (the price per 3-book set has gone up $3 in printing costs just between my May quote and now, but I'm hoping they'll swing me a break and allow me to "pass on the savings to my customers"). My plan is to also make the books available as PDFs for a substantially lower cost, and that will probably (hopefully) happen by mid-August.

Anyway. Just wanted to give people a heads up. Now I've got to wander down to the ocean and see if I can find my family. Expect more updates in the near future.

Boring the Hell Out-O-People (More 5AK)

SO...got to the printer yesterday. Figured out how to do everything. Got the call into the Chessex people for the large order of custom dice...should be here in three weeks. The printer figures they'll be able to have books ready in a week or less once I send them the images. The extra pages I needed to add to Book 1 have all been written...I only wish I had enough room for one more illustration I wanted to include. Tim's shrink-wrap machine is fired up and ready to go. The money has been stockpiled for the run.

Jeez, this is one crazy-ass vanity project.

5AK is my (current) version of D&D. It's weird...not weird like Lamentations of the Flame Princess but weird in that people will read it and say, "This isn't D&D...this is something weird." It's not twisted. It's definitely not generic. It can be used to created games that are twisted and/or somewhat "generic high fantasy," but that's not the default, built-in setting of the game.

I have no idea what people will think of it. I have no idea if people will like it.

Well, okay, that's not entirely true. My play-testing over the last few months has garnered me a lot of feedback, pretty much all of which has been positive. In fact, I really haven't heard much negative criticism at all (then again, most of the people I hang out with tend to be on the uber-nice side...it's a Seattle-thang...rather than being the hard-assed critics I probably need hammering me). I guess when I say "I don't know if people will like it," what I'm really trying to say is, "I don't know if it will sell like hot-cakes...and regardless of sales, I don't know if anyone will really be fired up enough to play the damn thing."

*sigh* This is not pointless second-guessing, just by the way. At this point, I've come too far to back down from publishing the thing. However, right now I am at the stage where I am:

A) Considering how many copies to print, and
B) Considering what my price point should be.

These are fairly important considerations for the independent game designer/publisher. The B/X Companion sold out through three (small) print runs. The PDF version (only created long after the last print run was gone) has sold nearly as many electronic copies, though at a considerably reduced price. On the other hand, The Complete B/X Adventurer, has failed to sell out even its first print run as of this date, and while the printing was larger than any single print run of the Companion (about twice as large), it's still only a single printing. And I know a lot of people have complained bitterly about its pricing.

I am not a business man. I did not study business, I've never been mistaken for an entrepreneur of any stripe (good or bad), and my last private sector job was in 1999 (a long, long ass time ago). I'm not self-employed, I'm a civil servant (no, I don't work for the post office...if I did I probably wouldn't have to charge people the shipping and handling that I do). I don't have a business model. Hell, I don't even have a mission statement (though perhaps I should come up with one).

Even so, I'm publishing these things to make money. Not big money; not get rich money. But money...enough to recoup my costs and enough to finance the next book. Much of my profit from the first book went into the second book, and the little "profit" remaining from the 2nd book (have to buy dog food, too!) combined with the PDF sales of the B/X Companion is the "seed money" I'm using to publish 5AK.

I have no idea if it will sell or not.

Which means this could be a one-way trip into business oblivion. There was plenty of "buzz" about the B/X Companion, not to mention a renewed interest in old school B/X gaming (fostered at least in part by my fairly extensive blogging in "the time before toddler"), both of which helped to drive sales. Neither of these things apply to 5AK. Oh, there's some "interest"...but most folks don't seem to be looking for a new way to play the world's "favorite adult fantasy role-playing game." And for a price-point that meets my costs and allows me to finance the next book (hopefully, Cry Dark Future)...well, it may well drive some folks away.

After all, people are saving up their shekels to buy the recent re-release of 2nd Edition AD&D ($50 per book for the three core books). Ah, WotC...milking the ca$h cow one more time.

SO...because this IS a vanity project (a fantasy heart-breaker, remember?), I'm trying to figure out ways to limit the damage. My first thought is I should do a tiny print-run (like 50 copies) to see just how much interest there is. My second thought is to do some sort of "pre-order" thing...but then why not simply use Kick-Starter?

[because I'm deathly afraid of on-line bidding processes and I don't want to give them 5% of the money raised, that's why not]

Like I said, I'm still thinking about it. Right now, I need to get the all the proof-reading edits back AND get them added AND THEN get the order placed with the printer. It's exciting times (so exciting I've dozed off two or three times while blogging this post...really need to get some sleep), and I'm probably just doing the stress-and-anxiety dance, over-thinking the whole thing. Need to get it together, JB!

Maybe I'll start with 100 copies...

One More Beer

That is to say, one more beer for the night...not forever, jeez!

Still, if three seems a bit unusual for a Tuesday night, well, yeah, it is...though three bottles over the course of an evening isn't nearly the same as a couple pints with a dinner out (which was last night). *Ahem* It IS unusual that I'll down half a six-pack, but it's been a loooong last couple-few days. No, I still have to go to work tomorrow. No, this isn't about the Mariners (hey, we're not last in our division this year...or even second to last!). No, it isn't about the damn David Stern-Sacramento Kings-NBA-thing, either (yes, I'd like to take my boy to a Sonics game some day; no, I'm not a basketball fan by any stretch of the imagination).

No, it's not even about rough times on the homestead...the wife's been back in town for nearly a week, and she's not heading to South America anytime soon, her last project having (mercifully) ended. Ha! I'll bet you folks thought the reason my blogging had fallen off the face of the earth the last ten days had to do with the fam or something. Nope, not at all.

The reason I haven't posted anything to the blog the last ten days is that I've been focusing all my creative energies on finishing one single project...D&D Mine, aka 5AK, aka "my little D&D/Chainmail retread project."

Yep. It's finished.

And I mean, finished. Completed. With artwork and formatting and page numbers and tables of contents and all that jazz. Finished it today. You'll forgive me if I feel a touch entitled to an extra beer.

I even (God help me), drew an actual map...you know, like a sample dungeon level?...and scanned it and stuck it in the book. After wrestling with my own blankety-blank scanner for hours last night (using both a PC and a Mac to no avail) I found one that would do the job at the library this afternoon and just cut the damn thing. And I don't care if it looks like crap compared to some of the brilliant artists posting their fine-tuned pieces of craftsmanship on their blogs. It's good enough. And the fact of the matter is, the game looks better than the original.

It does...it really does. Not that that's a huge stretch or anything...the thing's one can do with a little MS Word and a few jpgs would make those poor bastards doing layout in the 1970s absolutely crap themselves. I am a hack...I have absolutely ZERO background in layout or composition or...well, in anything really useful to putting these books together. I didn't work on a school newspaper or yearbook or anything. But I can fiddle around with these little programs and voila! I look like an f'ing genius. Or at least a competent semi-professional.

Crazy world.

So here's the next couple steps I've got to go through before I unveil the thing (yes, I know people want to see it...I'm hoping some folks might even want to buy it). First, I need to have a couple trusted sets of eyes read it...we'll see how that goes. Then I need to get some price-points from the printer and see about getting a few mock-up/proofs. I might need to get better scans of the artwork (it's excellent stuff, but still public domain and the resolution leaves a little something to be desired)...but like I said, it already looks nicer than the original books, so I might leave it as is.

After that, it's all about packaging. For those who haven't been following all that closely, I've written my own "Little Brown Books:"three slim volumes that still pack a lot of info (in a legible font, yes). They are much more setting specific and much less potpourri than the original LBBs but that's by design and for my own amusement (you can still adapt it to play a "generic fantasy RPG" but why would you want to?). I have about 99% decided to distribute them in two different formats:

1. A printed version with all three-volumes shrink-wrapped together along with a set of custom dice that I intend to order from Chessex or someone. Ideally, they'd be wrapped with one of those adhesive paper bands like you find around notebooks at B&N or dress socks, but I don't even know where to purchase such a thing. This may be a "limited edition" type sale depending on price to produce and demand...however, I'm still going to keep it simple (no box, dammit).

2. Electronic PDFs that can be purchased individually from RPGNow or some such. You'll have to pay for and download each book separately, and you will receive the "special dice," but some people may prefer that anyway. I mean, we all have dice, right?

All right, that's enough of an update for the moment...my beer's almost finished, the Mariners have tanked for the evening, and tomorrow's "garbage day" so it's time to clean out the fridge. I'll provide more information (or at least will probably be blogging more) over the next couple weeks, and I'm sure there may yet be some (minor) tinkering as monkey wrenches arise in play-testing. But for now, I'm quite satisfied. It really does seem to be the type of fantasy role-playing game I can live with...for a good, long while.

NOW, having said all that, I will say there's still a part of me that likes the idea of something a little more gonzo and gung-ho. White Plume Mountain-ish, if you'll allow me the conceit. Something a little bit more like B/X...except with druids.

Really, just the B, not the X...a lighter game, capable of introducing younger players to the fun of role-playing with a lot smaller scale and a lot more focused objectives of play...maybe even something that uses "funny shaped dice," like everyone expects. My recent posts on "subclasses" is what got my brain percolating on this idea...which is why I decided I really needed to buckle down and get 5AK finished. Bad enough I'm trying to get Cry Dark Future out, too (I've got five artists on board so far, which is great!)...I didn't want to let my "gamer ADD" sidetrack me when I was so close to the end. But now I am at the end (except for the mechanics of getting the thing printed, etc.), so maybe there's room on my plate for another project: has anyone done a retroclone of Holmes Basic yet?

Oh, yeah...and a completely random note, I have some scribbled ideas for rewriting Vampire the Masquerade. That might actually end up being a one-page micro-game.
; )

Later, gators...cheers!