Rock Hard

I hate gadgets, and I'm tight, so the likelihood of me splashing out on a flashy gold designer bicycle pump is NIL. Especially one that sounds like it's named after Mexican royalty. But that's just what's happened...

Steaming down the local highstreet, I could feel that the tyres on my Moulton were on the squiggly side, making the handling even more squirrely than usual. So I pulled into the nearest bicycle shop to blow them up. Factory rated at 100psi, but I rarely achieve that hardness with my own crappy old column pump. I didn't pay attention to the particular brand / model of pump at the shop, but did take special note of the blingy Snap-It™ valve, which made the the process easy and scientifically successful. Rock hard in just a few effortless pumps. Hmm. I keep a miniature donut ring of BluTac on my Presta valves, so as to maintain an airtight seal, but the two-piece (revolvable) screw-on + rubber o-ring of this baby, means none of the usual hissing of air escaping its vocation. And the airline is long enough that you don't need to park right next to it.

Once you've bought a snazzy bike, there is a whole industry dedicated to trying to get you to spend wedge on the latest fad. The next ridiculous size up of MTB wheel, some new outer space developed lycra wear, or an over engineered titanium tool of debatable usefulness (going on a diet will save you much more weight and money). The Birzman Zacoo Maha IV sounds like a serious contender in such a field. But after a boring evening researching column pumps on the internet, many fingers pointed to his royal highness Birz' IV. It turns out he/she is actually of Taiwanese descent. None of my four pumps - at least one of them manufactured by a reputable brand, do what they are meant to do. And the local garage now charges for the use of its airline, so I thought what the hell, lets go crazy. The Snap-It™ is also Schrader valve compatible, so it should be able to pump up my motorbike tyres too.

Evans Cylces have a great deal on at the moment. The Birz' IV is £24 inc delivery - not a stupid amount of money when its RRP is £37.

The pressure gauge goes all the way up to an eye watering 160psi - what vehicles have tyres that hard?! So my only gripe would be that the dial is not set with more increments lower down the scale, which would be really useful for a flat track motorcycle where you are around the 20psi mark, and a few poofs either way are critical. The Snap-It™ does have a blow-off button for deflating (without having to remove it from the tyre), but you would still need to take it off to use a proper tyre gauge for more accurate low readings.

Birzman Zacoo Maha IV had absolutely no problem of making short work of my flat CCM tyre. Or the saggy Space Hopper in the garden (theres a screw-on adaptor for that and footballs included). I might have go out and pump up the tyres of all the cars parked on my street. Just for fun. BP

Old Cotton

Spartan 'waxed' cotton jacket. I guess Barbor or Belstaff didn't make any intellectual property claims on their famous trials jackets in the olden days, so this copies exactly the same pattern with a wonky breast pocket - and being nigh on useless at keeping water out even when it is properly waxed. Mine was as waterproof as a tea bag. Can't remember where I got it from. It already had the Norton and BSA patches on so along with its purple corduroy collar, I deemed it to have pedigree.

The back was painted, and repainted, with various 'freak-the-squares' symbols and then painted out all together as I matured. Funny that the manufacturer bothered to put in three brass mesh breathing vents under the arms. One thing that this jacket was not short of was fresh air.
Road Rocket across the bum was in honour of the magazine rather than the BSA of the same name. I wore this flimsy thing on my first foreign bike trip to Spain in 1989 with my brother, me on a Honda CM250T, he on a C15 BSA. So it brings back a lot of memories.
My first leather jacket came later. A Blake's 7-style burgundy number I bought at the Dock Road sunday market in Liverpool for 80p. It was hideous but functioned. I gave it to my flatmate who lusted after it.

When I moved to London, U-turning black cabbies were a daily threat to life, hence the flipped taxi pin badge.

The DIY 99 patch was a poke at the regressive 59 club. 1999 was still 8 years into the future. It was made from real 59 cloth patch as I was briefly a signed-up member until I realised I was a Mocker not a Rocker. The Nuffield pin badge pre-empted any tea hut jibes about my Moto Guzzi being a tractor. BP

I love magazines

After months of putting it off I decided to tidy up my shed/office on Monday. I'm still not finished and it doesn't take long for it to become a mess again, but it's good to get at least some magazines in order (especially as I refer back to magazines a lot) and send the chaff to the recycler.

One fireproof drawer is full of Dice. They're up to 40 issues! Amazing achievement. Inspirational mag. I have the full set. Oh yes.

While I was at the Stafford Show at the weekend I bought some copies of Street Bikers from the Magazine Man. They cost an arm and a leg, but I love them. While I was flicking through the latest I saw a page on the Japanese flat track club Field Day- who we have a great feature on in Sideburn 9 (coming soon-ish). I looked closer, next to the photo of the bizarre pre-race dance ritual and noticed they were flying the Sideburn flag!

A final bit of magazine news, one of Britain's major publishers, Bauer (German lot who took over EMAP) are supporting the biking charity Riders for Health - co-founded by Randy Mamola. Every subscription Bauer get (on a number of mags including Bike, PB, Classic Bike, Practical Sportsbike, MCN, Q, Empire...) they're giving 'up to £10' to charity. If you don't know, Riders for Health supply bikes and expertise to African doctors to allow them to ride to and treat isolated villages. Well done big business!

Go here to find out more. G

Killer Diller is Two

Killer Diller is a weekly radio show hosted by Sideburn's official DJ, Sir Johnny Alpha, and this week it's two years old. Killer Diller is the soundtrack of my life. What is it? A 90-minute mix of freakbeat, French yeh-yeh, sleazy tittyshakers, popcorn, surf instrumentals, 60s soul and R&B, doo-wop, garage punk, 70s and 80s punk and countless other genres I'd never heard of previously. It's all strung together with Sir Johnny's dulcet Wigan tones. He really let's the music do the talking, not like some of garage punk internet DJs and they're crap reverb soaked schtick. I love Killer Diller.
Listen or download at Sir Johnny Alpha or listen live to wirelesfm.net on Tuesday nights. If you like them, there are, well, about 100 to catch up on. G

Carol Doda Photo: Leadpipe Posters

Obsessed

(via DSC). Garage People, a magazine dedicated to people and their garages, showing the exact position of every object and its specification. Anal Love. BP

Arsehole

Inspiration everywhere. My photography heroes start with Danny Lyon,goes via William Eggleston, and past Elaine Constantine into a fluctuating no-man's land of contemporary artists names I immediately forget. My collection of expensive hardback books are gathering dust, their intellectual bubble burst by the low brow snap shots of the unschooled; free to be trawled on the internet.

Take Stuka Brown of Arsehole Customs, this self portrait is IT. Taken in his Craigavon back garden with his 1200 Bandit street fighter. I can't fault it, and his name is easy enough to remember. BP

Sex On A Stick

Following Black Country Biker's blog link came across this throbbing steel and rubber sex toy, featured in Jerry Hartfield's American Racing Motorcycles book. A case of Less being most definitely More. BP

Deus Bible

Sorry Carby, a long over-due plug of this mega book. BP

Santa already sent me a copy and I can vouch for 242 lush pages. Your coffee table will need reinforcing it's such a lead zeplin. Sideburn readers get a 15% discount - use the order code DEUSBURN and follow this link:

Picador

Ambled to my local tool shop this morning, to pick up some regular wood screws and sanding discs, came back fully laden with second-hand quality bargains, including a large bench vice for my new shed, and this beauty - I don't even know what you call them but I used to have a crap one. Particularly love the time-served blue Hammerite finish. Well handy. BP

King Dick

Not as universally handy as a Leatherman in combination with a Specialized mountain bike mini fold-out EMT Allen key set, in my 'don't hit the road without it' tool kit, but my King Dick, established in 1856 is my most prized piece. Just the weight of it is stimulating. There is virtually no slack in the jaws. I painted one side day-glo so as not to loose it fumbling in the dark at the roadside (no idea why both sides didn't get the treatment). You can pick them up for a couple of quid at car boot sales, this little fella is only a few inches long, but they make a big whoppas too. BP

Good stuff

My new bubblevisor from Low Brow Customs


The roads of the Pelopponnese Peninsula, Greece.


FTW Race Co. I just wish they updated every day.


Everything M&M's Motorcycle makes


Jarvis Cocker's Sunday Service show on 6 Music. And Danny Baker's kind of football show on 5 Live on Saturday morning.


Benzina magazine. New, independent and out of England, concentrating on classic Italian bikes.


Le Container blogspot. Never disappoints. Girls, art, bikes, architecture... But what the hell does 'bil', 'dav', '_giles' and ''godz' mean?


Full Frockle Fiasco!

Safety First

Another priceless sticker from my Vehikel autojumble collection. Very Milton Glaser BP

World Knowledge

Given up trying to make sense of this crazy planet? Vic Reeves' (who graced the cover of the first issue of Road Rocket), new encyclopedia is the book for you. If it wasn't for him there would be no Little Britain (or no George Doors at least), and No Mighty Boosh (or no Crack Fox at least). It even has some enlightening info on Teds. Waterstones bookshop have a good online deal at the moment. BP

Stuff I love. Pt 2.

Speed Junkies blogspot. Giannis never posts a dud.

British Short Track ingenuity.
This is Trappy on a 450 (don't worry about the scale, he's a Man Mountain). This photo is included because it shows Brit racers are more concerned about getting out there and racing that aesthetics. That wheel is a lowly Honda Comstar, bought cheap from an autojumble (swap meet for our American readers). It ain't too pretty, but it takes a 19in Maxxis. And that means Trappy's lad gets to race with proper rubber.

Poppa Wheelie blog, because he unearths shots like this.

Steve's Katana, with Dymag wheels, Racefit pipe, GSX-R forks. I rode it and wrote about it for PB. It's the only Katana I've ever really fallen for.


This amazing hauler. I found the photo on one of our follower's sites - Cheap thrills and good times
Anyone know anything about it?

The Dynotones. Hot rode-themed surf music of the highest order. With covers by Rockin Jellybean. Thanks Dana.


This painting sent in by Sideburn collaborator, Chris Watson who said 'I don't know anything about it, but I like it' Amen

The photography of Scott Pommier. He shot the Scorpions in Sideburn 3. I still haven't had a go at bike surfing. I've got to man-up or shut up.

Motorcycho - the original lame-ass bikerzine.

Chicken: Love for sale on the streets of Hollywood by David Henry Sterry. The wonderfully written true story of a poor lad who gets ass-raped on his first night in Hollywood and becomes a 'chicken', male prostitute who services women. Brilliant, brilliant and for sale for 1p plus postage on Amazon.
“I walk all the way up Hollywood Boulevard to Grauman’s Chinese Theater: past turistas snapping shots; wanna-be starlets sparkling by in mini-skirts with head shots in their hands and moondust in their eyes; rowdy cowboys drinking with drunken Indians; black businessmen bustling by briskly in crisp suits; ladies who do not lunch with nylons rolled up below the knee pushing shopping carts full of everything they own; Mustangs rubbing up against muscular Mercedes and Hell’s Angels hogs.
It’s a sick twisted Wonderland, and I am Alice.”

My Grenson brogue boots. Made in Northampton.


Cheers, GI

Stuff I love. Pt 1.

Stuff I'm loving beyond all measure. Click the links and be taken nice places. GI

Everything Kriega make. British designed (though made in China), super heavy-duty stuff that sets the standard for modern motorcycle soft goods. I’m flattered they advertise in Sideburn. This is Ben's tool roll, ready for action.



I'm not big on fancy dan helmet paintjobs. They remind me of spoilt journalists, but racers are allowed. These are by new London custom den Death Spray Custom. He'll paint bike tanks too. Yum-yum. Thanks to Wes at HfL for the introduction.

King Khan and his Shrines. Still. And the cover of this CD on German label Voodoo Rhythm. King Khan got it all. Can't wait to see them again.



Germans! We had Jan from motokultursite Chromjuwelen contact us first, then Helge at Motoraver. Helge runs magazine and website with a uniquely German take on hot rodding/street customs. Helge's just bought a Sporty street tracker too. That's his 76 Granada, that won't mean much to the Americans reading this but will surely please a few Brits and Germans (who can't afford to buy or run an American V8).

BBC Radio 6. If you're unfortunate enough not to live in GB you'll have crap radio. It's a fact. Do yourself a favour and get on the internet and listen in. They play a lot of new indie stuff and loads of old favourites and tunes you won't hear anywhere else. Like 20-year-old live concerts of the Screaming Blue Messiahs.

This fella's Lego helmet.

The Vintagent. A proper high quality blog, that gives the blog landscape something really different. And Paul d'Orleans, the Vintagent, likes Sideburn so much he's going to write something for Sideburn 3 and 4. He's a dapper chap, too.