Spider-Hulk, Spider-Hulk, smashes whatever a gamma irradiated spider smashes!

First, let me apologize for not posting for the whole of March. I appreciate the three of you who are still reading. That said, I'm baaaaack!

And not only am I back, but I bring you today some fun pics of one of my Holy Grails that I finally added to my collection: Spider-Hulk!

Back in 2006, Toy Biz was reaching the end of their Spider-Man Classics line. They may have also been close to the end of their license with Marvel, which ended up (and still is) with Hasbro. I'm no Marvel expert, so don't quote me on that. What I do know is that one of the last Spider-Man Classics figures Toy Biz released was Spider-Hulk. I'm pretty sure, as the story goes, Peter Parker somehow gained the powers of The incredible Hulk for a hot minute (and this is not Bruce Banner/Hulk in Spider-PJs). I've not read this specific story in the comics, but I love that Toy Biz made an action figure of this...well...incredible moment!

I saw this figure at retail back in '06 and somehow talked myself out of it. I've regretted that decision ever since, and as is always the case in such situations, Spider-Hulk became a very hard-to-get figure, and has since held a ridiculously high resale value. I've kept my eyes peeled for him for over ten years, hoping to find an economical example, but I've never seen him going for a sane and excusable price...until now!

For some reason beyond my mere human intellect to interpret,  a couple months ago a Chinese ebay seller suddenly began selling loose Spider-Hulks. The auction end prices vary, but have been hovering around an average of $25 bucks for as long as I've been monitoring. Buying loose toys from China can be a risky venture, so I had to ask myself: was it worth tempting fate to get either a) a cheap bootleg, b) a Spider-Hulk with two left feet or c) nothing at all, in an attempt to get Spider-Hulk for a fraction of what he's gone for on the secondary market for the past ten years?

Well the answer was obviously 'yes.'

I'm glad to report that I bid, I won, and lo-and-behold, a couple weeks later a beautiful loose but perfect example of Spider-Hulk arrived at my doorstep! HUZZAH!!!

Of course there are a lot of questions this figure's existence raises. Did Toy Biz have a warehouse full of these gentlemen, just sitting in crates for a decade, waiting for someone to buy them up and liquidate them on eBay? Or did toy Biz themselves, or whatever manufacturer they contracted, find a crate ala the Lost Ark of the Covenant, and after they busted them open and their faces melted off, they decided to offer them up on eBay for us True Believers who never stopped looking and hoping and praying?  Or is he coated in lead paint and was held back from retail sale for safety reasons and I'm going to die soon?

Who cares. I HAVE SPIDER-HULK!.

One last thing: You too could own a Spider-Hulk: As of press time, they are still popping up on eBay and auctions are ending between $20 and $30 with free shipping. I can't guarantee your experience will be the same as mine, but I can guarantee that this is a great price for an otherwise hard to find figure. Search for SpiderHulk and search under 'free shipping', and you should find the auctions easily enough. Good luck!

Play Mysterio For Me

If there were a country called Youlookstupidsylvania, this would be their King:

This is Mysterio. He looks like a moron. Ever see that show What Not to Wear?
This. Do not wear this. Ever. End of show.

He was created by Stan Lee and Steve Ditko. Stan Lee and Steve Ditko did drugs. Mysterio is the proof.

Don't get me wrong. I absolutely love Mysterio. I love him precisely because he looks so amazingly idiotic. The salad bowl helmet, the lantern wrist bands, the green spandex, the purple cape, the metallic golden boots. What's not to love?

This figure came out in 2005 as part of the Spider-Man Classics figure line. He looks so goofy I couldn't pass him up. He came with a cloud/smoke-like base which fired a couple missiles, but I have those packed away. Their absence in no way detracts from his goofyness. He was also later released as part of the Spider-Man Origins figure line, without the cloud base and with a more metallic paint scheme.

Mysterio has tons of articulation, as is standard for these Marvel Legends/Toy Biz figures, but it's pretty pointless and excessive for his character. Like DCUC figures, it's also worthless because his plastic cape inhibits his range of motion.

But Mysterio has another trick up his sleeve:

When you push a button on his back, a light shines to reveal his face! Keen!

But wait, there's more:


Push the button again and his head rotates to reveal the face of a monster! Yipes!

Push it once more and his head rotates to show the face of an Alien! Egads!

Let's look at that action in the dark, shall we?

Grrr!

Klaatu, barda, nikto.


Would you like fries with that?