I saw Batman v Superman and here's what I think...

I will start with spoiler free statements, and warn you when the spoiler stuff begins, so don't worry, you will be warned before I potentially ruin the movie for you.

I caught an advanced screening of Batman v Superman on Monday night in IMAX. The movie was made for IMAX, with massive massiveness to the massive, amped up to around 11. I'm not a fan of this type of thing (or 3-D movies either for that matter) and generally prefer my movies on the normal sized screen (or TV) with a little thing called plot thrown in. Had I not gotten a free ticket I wouldn't have seen Batman v Superman in IMAX at all, but it was a thrill seeing and hearing and feeling the full IMAX experience during the (multiple) big action sequences. So if that's your thing, have at it.

I've grown too old to be angered by media of any kind if it's designed to entertain. It either entertains me or it doesn't. I don't get my panties in a bunch if something isn't my cup of tea. I also like to view the plethora (and there is a plethora nowadays, we are blessed and let us not forget that) of comicbook/superhero media as a multiverse; there's a different universe every direction you look. Batman v Superman isn't happening in my preferred 'universe,' but it's an entertaining movie if viewed in it's corner of the multiverse.

Batman v Superman didn't anger me, but I could see a part of me, or perhaps a younger me, being pretty miffed by a lot of it.

There will be a lot of people angered by Batman v Superman. There will be a lot of people confused, there will be a lot of people entertained. There will be a lot of people who will skip it entirely. They are all right. It isn't for everyone. And that's ok, unless the people it is for don't see it enough to raise the bucks for the next one. Maybe that's ok too. Schumacher brought us Nolan, so we owe him that much. Then again, a lot of people hated the Nolan-verse. You can't please everyone.

Batman v Superman is about 2.5 hours long, and feels like at least three movies jammed together. That isn't a complaint, necessarily. For the cost of movies these days, you get a good amount of time spent before the screen for your buck. But it felt forced at times, and that's just not necessary. I'm pretty sure the movie was exactly that, they took their Man of Steel part 2 script, mixed in their Justice League 1 script, and tossed Batman in because Batman has to be in everything, and voila! Batman v Superman!

The movie did not feel accessible to the common viewer, and it was very gloomy. The gloom is ok if that's your goal, because life isn't all wine and roses, but the lack of accessibility is not; especially when you are trying to build a movie universe.

Wonder Woman was incredible, Gal Gadot was incredible, and the Wonder Woman story thread left me wishing the movie would just jump rails and head in her direction and Bats and Supes could f' the right off. I am REALLY looking forward to the Wonder Woman solo flick!

Batman v Superman is big and bombastic and there's little plot and little motivation for any character, but there's lots of punching and smashing. It has some high points that are character perfect and some lows that are just sad. Overall I enjoyed it but I think I am more forgiving than both your hard-core comic fan and your common non-comic moviegoer.

I will say this, as both a Batman fan and a Batman via Frank Miller fan: Batman has been around for what, 77 years now? Frank Miller wrote maybe four Batman stories, two of which are actually good. WE ARE DONE WITH FRANK MILLER! QUOTE SOMEONE ELSE FOR BAT'S SAKE!

Batman v Superman doesn't tread any new ground (except perhaps with Wonder Woman) and doesn't improve on any movie that came before it. I do want and look forward to seeing it again, and perhaps I will be more happy with it after a second (non IMAX) viewing. I enjoyed it and wouldn't recommend you miss it, but if you miss it you aren't missing a life changing experience either.

My recommendation isn't glowing I know, but I did have fun watching the movie and I enjoyed it. Honestly, based on your feelings about Man of Steel and the previews for Batman v Superman, you can trust your instincts on whether you will like this movie or not. Plot was thin, motivation thinner, and EXPLOSIONZZZ!

Lastly, don't sit through the credits. Nothing there at the end, or middle. The movie is over when it ends.

And now...

SPOILERS

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Ok, you've been warned.

Batman kills. A lot. With guns, and not just in his dream sequence (which is forgivable.) And even a killing Batman is forgivable (Keaton did it) to an extent, but when you extend the logic of a Batman that is killing at Punisher levels you think to yourself 'why doesn't Bruce Wayne just spend his money on napalm and frag the whole damn block in one Batwing sweep instead of jumping in, sneaking around, punching the badguys first and THEN killing them when that doesn't work?!?!' It's a dumb approach. If Batman kills, have him just bomb the shit out of everybody and go home. Having him punch a bunch of guys then kill one later because it's convenient at that moment is just stupid. Or: why doesn't he just shoot Joker? He shoots nameless thugs, why not Joker?!?! The logic is dumb. Do it or don't it. But don't 'do it and/or don't it as the scene requires'. Dumb. (and no, Joker does not appear in Batman v Superman.)

Superman...oh man I feel bad for Superman fans. Everything wrong with Man of Steel was multiplied by twenty and Superman was treated by less than dirt in this movie. It's sad, and had me, a dyed in the wool Batman fan, wanting to slap Batman and slap some sense into Superman while I was at it.

Also, and again SPOILERS...

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Superman dies. I remember the Death of Superman comics in the nineties, and you do too I am sure. But what the hell are the average viewers going to do with that? I am tired of superhero movies jamming 1990s, years-long storylines into minutes worth of movie. It didn't work in The Dark Knight Rises, it won't work in Civil War, and it (Doomsday/Death of Superman) didn't work in Batman v Superman. Stop it. Write your own story for once!

Also, the whole Justice League set-up fell flat once Superman died. I kept waiting for Flash to appear and say 'the timeline is screwed, let's go back to pre-Supes/Zod and fix it all so everyone isn't written into a crappy and inescapable corner of the multiverse!' but it never happened.

Did I mention movies don't piss me off anymore?

Perhaps I am being too critical. Like I said, Wonder Woman was phenomenal, there were moments that were incredible (some of which I am not sure standard audiences will 'get') and it was cool to see Batman and Superman together (even f they were never really 'together'). A good movie but not a great movie. I hope the wrest the reigns away from Snyder and steer the franchise back to center, but if they don't here's hoping they get better directors and writers for the solo flicks.

Go see it or don't. Trust your gut. And don't get pissed about it. If this isn't your Supes or Bats, go read a comic or watch a cartoon that IS your Bats and Supes. Snyder didn't steal your childhood, he just made his own movie because that's his job and he got paid to do it.

Catwoman Purrrsday :: Thoughts on Hathaway's Catwoman

Careful, there may be minor spoilers ahead...

Probably the most comic-booky thing about The Dark Knight Rises was Anne Hathaway's portrayal of Selina Kyle (and her unnamed cat burgler alter ego known to all of us as Catwoman.)

Don't get me wrong; by 'comic-booky' I don't mean 'corny; or 'campy' or anything like that. I just mean that Hathaway's Selina Kyle/Catwoman scenes play like a true comic book movie, something that, it could be argued, Nolan's Batman movies are not.

Sans Catwoman, TDKR would have been a two hour and forty five minute uber-thriller with Batman in it for...oh about fifteen minutes.

Hathaway plays Selina and Catwoman better than anyone on screen has done to date. Sorry Julie and Eartha and Lee and Michelle; while your Catwomen were perfect (or, dare I say it...purrrfect) for their respective times, Nolan's universe demanded someone up the ante.

Hathaway does so in spades. (HAHA get it? Spade - spayed - Cat - HAHAHA!)

And unlike me, there are no ridiculous Cat puns with this Catwoman. There is however some serious butt whoopin skills, a sexy 'realistic' costume (except maybe those stilletto heels, but whadayagonnado?) and criminal motivation and skills straight out of the better Catwoman comic books of the past thirty or so years.

The 'team up' scenes with Batman and Catwoman were the most fun parts of TDKR, a film with little room for any kind of fun in it's bleak apocalyptic take on Gotham's darkest hour.

I was totally engrossed in the overarching story when I viewed TDKR for the first time; I look forward to viewing it again and soaking in the nuances, including paying more attention to Selina's scenes.

The Dark Knight Rises :: My (spoiler free) Thoughts

I was literally rendered speechless after viewing The Dark Knight Rises. I went to the midnight showing on Thursday night (technically Friday morning) with a group of friends, and since the movie let out at 3am I went straight home and went to bed.

Not that I would have been able to chat or discuss it at that time anyways.

People asked me the next day what I thought and I was still without words.

I liked it. Sometimes I felt I liked it in spite of myself. Can I explain that? Maybe not without spoilers. But that was my initial reaction.

As we know, TDKR deals with Bane as the main villain. Bane is relatively contemporary, at least he's a 'my generation' character, unlike the Joker and Catwoman and even Batman who began life in the golden age. But more surprisingly, the film felt like a 'my generation' film entirely, which is not necessarily the best thing or what I want in my Batman movies, especially since the contemporary world is so brutal and unforgiving (see the headlines and news stories of the past few days and you'll know what I mean.)

TDKR is brutal and unforgiving. Bane is brutal and unforgiving. Okay, maybe this last bit is a spoiler so highlight only if you have seen the movie:

I saw my hero beaten near to death and I didn't like it one single bit. The fact that Bane actually picked Batman up and smashed him over his knee literally shocked me to the core. I know, it's integral to the character, but so is 'venom' and they never mention that. I did not expect to see Nolan's Bane snap Batman like that. And when he did it had an impact on me. It hurt.

Yet there I was watching a mosaic made up of pieces of comics I read 'growing up,' that grew up with me, and I couldn't believe they were able to pull these bits off in a movie! It was as awesome as it was brutal.

I haven't had much chance to talk to my circle of IRL folks who have seen it yet (the price you pay for seeing it the second it's released!), but look forward to chatting with both deeply initiated Bat-friends and the uninitiated alike. I think their perspectives will help me digest the film better. I also know that I have to see it again; it was a thick, heavy film and I know I missed a lot in the first viewing, especially because so many moments my mind shifted as I sat there thinking 'I remember that from the comics!'

Bottom line: I liked the movie. I probably even loved the movie. There were some truly incredible moments that I never in a million years thought I'd see in a Batman movie.

It was the movie I deserved, but not the movie I needed. And now that the 'realism' of Batman has been looked at in a trilogy that will never be matched in tone and scope, I look forward to a more 'perfect' (read: less 'real') Batman once the inevitable reboot occurs. I don't want camp, I do want relatively serious, but I don't want to worry about Batman having kidneys full of scar tissue. Think Batman: Animated come to life. That's what I hope to see next time.

But from the bottom of my heart I thank Nolan et al for showing me this Batman and making the past seven years one of the best times in history to be a Bat-fan!

Dark Knight Rises Prologue Spoiler Free Review

I saw The Dark Knight Rises Prologue pre-screening and all I got was this AWESOME T-Shirt. (Oh, and to see the prologue before all y'all!)

I assume the design is supposed to represent Bane's mask. And along with the word 'End,' that's all it is. Nice and cryptic. No mention of Batman, or anything related to Batman, anywhere. Awesome.

As for the prologue: HOLY MOTHER OF PEARL! I won't give away any spoilers, but Bane's introduction is fierce and brutal, just like Bane himself. His voice was hard to understand as many have pointed out, but it is rather cool as his mask serves as more than just a means to cover his identity. The prologue cannot go without comparison to Joker's introduction/Bank Heist in The Dark Knight, and while the bank scene was better in my current opinion, both set up the characters in ways perfect for their respective villains' personalities, and Bane's intro couldn't have been handled better.

The events in the prologue are clearly leading up to something BIG (as fans of the comics and movies should already be aware.) But it also contained some very mysterious elements that leave even the most die-hard Bat-fan wondering 'what the hell just happened?'

The prologue ended with a montage of scenes from the movie, including Anne Hathaway as Catwoman in full mask/ears and black outfit. And although she looks for all intents and purposes like the sixties Catwomen were her only influence, (sorry Michelle Pfieffer or Jim Balent fans) it works for me and I cannot wait to see how her character plays into all the fun.

The Dark Knight Rises is going to be amazing. I cannot wait for July 28th 2012!

Shrek Forever After coming to DVD and Blu-Ray

‘Shrek Forever After’ was the 4th and (we are told, but these things are never final are they?) final sequel in the ‘Shrek’ movie series. A Dreamworks CGI animated movie, it was originally released in theatres here in the US on May 21st 2010 and is available soon on DVD and Blu-Ray. (Shrek Forever After DVD is available at Tesco.)

I admit I haven’t seen a Shrek movie since the second one. Both ‘Shrek’ and ‘Shrek 2’ were great movies, I just didn’t feel the need to get to theatres when ‘3’ and ‘4’ came out. So many other movies are in my ‘rent’ or ‘buy’ queue, so this is a series that has fallen by my radar. It is certainly the kind of movie I would have liked to have seen in the theatre and I honestly don’t know how I missed it, especially with kids. ‘Shrek Forever After’ was released in 3-D, which is of course all the rage right now and a bandwagon I still can’t get myself to jump on, but if any films are perfectly suited for the 3-D treatment it is any CGI animated film as they are created in a virtual 3-D space to begin with.


Me having not seen Shrek 3 or 4 isn’t to say they aren’t great movies. I’m sure the fourth installment: ‘Shrek Forever After’ is as fun and funny as the first couple flicks. With Eddie Murphy as Donkey, Mike Myers as ‘Shrek,’ Antonio Banderas as ‘Puss In Boots,’ and Cameron Diaz as ‘Princess Fiona,’ ‘Shrek Forever After’ finds our ugly Ogre hero going through a sort of mid-life crisis, which leads to Shrek and the rest of his fairyland pals romping along “a moving journey of suspense and big laughs as an unexpected encounter with the mischievous Rumpelstiltskin turns Shrek’s world upside down.”

Sounds like a good time for everyone, doesn't it? Except maybe Rumplestiltskin. You can be sure he gets his in the end!

This post was sponsored by Tesco Entertainment where you can buy DVDs.