Showing posts with label Spite. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Spite. Show all posts

Tuesday, 7 July 2020

War Against The Dark Lord 2: Dark Lords Encounters & Wonders





































War Against The Dark Lord 2: Dark Lords Encounters & Wonders
So these are to be used as usual as the war is breaking out. Just used a d10 early on and higher dice for increasingly bad stuff. Encounters are the things you meet travelling or camping as war starts. Wonders are things you might witness and not get involved in. Some are just memorable sights to witness, some are opportunities to learn or fight evil. Lots of confused people don't know what is going on at first so characters could easily help out.

I would probably hit a party with a war from 4th level especially when just returning with lots of loot. During the war travel gets worse and fate nudges you into helping. The dark lord targets those who stand out in his great scrying halls where wizards spy on the world with magic. So as you stand out you get more supernatural surveillance and more encounters as enemy sent after the party.

Next will be loot and gossip. Lots of the gossip is dark lord propaganda. Lots of items are cursed or require evil people to use them.

Why does this random mook support the Dark Lord?
01 You get stability with the dark lord, he is just what we need right now  
02 Well one day one of these dark lords is gonna win and 
03 I have a lucky feeling this time, I can just feel this time he will win
04 All these pretty people will all be brought down low with fire and iron
05 Well its always been the same dark lord and he always comes back 
06 My ancestors made a pact to serve the dark lord and I got the call
07 The dark lord really looks out for the little guy, he understands us
08 All that dark lord stuff, its jus to scare the enemies into eternal subjugation
09 All those rich and pretty people stop the dark lords chosen getting what they deserve
10 The dark lord wants you to be free, to kill who you like when you like 
11 The Dark lord says remorse is for the weak while the strong take what they want
12 All this plotting and corruption is weak and slow, the dark lord simplifies everything

Why does this evil hero support the Dark Lord?
01 Was tainted by evil oaths for corrupt unholy weapons
02 Wanted to try and save family ended up killing them all
03 Was granted power in return for an immortal soul
04 Promised immortality among the dark lords chosen
05 Rivals killed by dark lord agents who occasionally show up
06 Once you get on board with the power you learn to stop caring
07 We must reduce the weak with trials of blood and fire every generation
08 Dark lords taint runs in your bloodline and they dream of the lords dark gaze
09 The dark lord represents how the universe works, the strong eat the weak
10 Nobody can defeat the darklord, sooner you join us the better
11 When did the forces of good do anything lately? Made universe then abandoned us 
12 The dark lord draws on unstoppable powers from the void before the universe

War Against The Dark Lord 2: Encounters
01 Goblin bat riders scouting area possibly skirmish but mostly seek food and info
02 Wolf riders scouting area possibly skirmish but mostly seek food and info
03 Area cloaked in webbing  and giant spiders wait in ambush
04 Pack of savage wild dogs menacing area for food
05 Goblin foot scouts with bows mostly want food and targets for other troops
06 Gang of bandits bear the dark lords mark having joined him
07 Gang of thieves in service of dark one ambushing and killing travellers
08 Swarm of rats - breeding and feeding from dead 5% chance carry plague
09 Swarm of bats 5% of them has rabies
10 Swarm of ravens - will mutter about dark lord and say his name "darklord!"
11 Shifty looking robed man watching area from afar, is really an orc scout
12 Squad of hobgoblins out to massacre commoners to spread terror
13 Evil priest raising some people they murdered as zombies to block the area
14 Robed cultists dedicated to the dark lord in robes, led by a wizard many apprentices
15 Dark robed weasly man convincing people to surrender and prepare for the master 
16 An evil bard is spreading gossip and propaganda supporting the evil one in war
17 Wandering mob of zombie peasants on a killing spree
18 A lycanthrope in human form seeks company on the road
19 Doppelganger spy of the evil master friendly to travellers seeks information
20 An ogre with clever sitting on path preparing a serf stuffed with rats for a meal
21 A shadow coalesces as an evil shadow hungry for the strength of the living
22 A group of ghouls bold enough to hide in shadows and overcast hungry for flesh
23 Wight warrior with an ancient black blade of the evil lords forge seeks something
24 A frightful wight knight on a bone golem horse harrases travellers and messengers
25 A dozen goblin archers with a d4 wolf riders an army scout group seeking intelligence
26 Six wolf riding goblins chasing common travellers with a wagon
27 Swarms of evil bats roam the land spawned by the dark lords blood
28 Hobgoblin squad crucifying some caravan guards who resisted led by cruel officer
29 Orc barbarian mob of dozen warriors and d4 berserkers have run ahead of plan to loot
30 Wild hairy naked gang of abhumans from the woods have been duped to unrest
31 Band of feral goatmen from the dark mountain want to harry the ruination of humankind
32 A lone ogre was ditched by his orc handlers and is lost and hungry 
33 Four orc warg riders scouting for local orc commander, will flee and get help
34 A ferocious insane troll from the deep has come to see the sun fall from the sky
35 A lone wounded orc sees trouble coming and with last gasp blows hor for aid roll again
36 Six giant bats each with a goblin archer harry travellers who can't fight back
37 A young 4th level necromancer and his dozen skeletonised serf with farm tools, seeks corpses can carry back to master to make undead, carry a d6 bodies
38 A dozed dark templars led by a 4th level priest of darkness stirring up terror
39 Four orcs commanding a dozen cowardly ill-equipped goblins
40 Hood wearing cultists with burning torches and swords killing anyone not in a hood
41 Hooded cultists mugging a country priest or friar while a d4 scared commoners watch
42 Galloping frightened horse with unconscious cavalry trooper hanging from the saddle
43 The child cries for help, tells of a dozen orc archers attacking homestead near
44 An invisible imp has a mission to molest travellers and keep eye out for heroes 
45 An invisible dark elf follows travellers intending to murder them by night when helpless
46 A robed hidden hobgoblin will fire a single poison arrow then flee to report to command
47 A goblin bat rider flies by if not stopped a turn later hear goblins coming. A d4 wolf riding goblins archers will track party first and retreat if hurt to join dozen goblin skirmishers who hunt the party
48 Hill giant sitting by road with a dead cow and a d4 probably dead farmers busy eating
49 A band of armoured dwarves 3d4 fled underland tunnels to avoid two squads of orcs chasing them each led by rival commander, dwarves seek travelling companions
50 A young elf is being chased by a squad of orcs, has spent spells already and unarmed. Carries a message warning of orcs siege on hidden elf stronghold to elf king
51 Dead man caries a d3 cursed items left here by a giant bat as a trap
52 Halfling in hiding warns of upcoming encounter up road (roll again)
53 Unburied bodies lay by the road and a d4+1 shadows arise to attack
54 A dozen rambling zombies travel in line to nearest settlement and attack everyone they meet on way
55 Wagon of refugees with belongings and wagon struggling to move cart, two squads of orcs are on the way here in ten minutes
56 Lone ranger on horse chased by dozen goblin wolf riders
57 Squad of orc pikemen burning a house while family trapped inside
58 Cult leader priest with a dozen hooded fanatics a chaos flagellant and six 1st level templar priests have captured a local leaders family and taking them to the dark lord 
59 A dozen chaos berserker mutant flagelant monks with war flails on killing frenzy
60 A dozen orc riding giant lizards gallop down road raiding the area
61 four wight warriors leading a dozen skeletons have awoken at the masters bidding
62 Six wight knights riding bone golem horses hunt adventurers the master wants
63 Pack of wolves d8+8 have chased a local person up a tree 
64 Orc barbarians on horseback, six with mounts here to kill minions of the dark lord who does nothing but fail them and lie, tribe dedicated to killing dark lord and his wizards and cults. Stop to ask directions where enemy orcs might be
65 Gang of youths with clubs eager to meet the invaders sure that being human alone will make them win, friendly to strangers and boast of future heroic deeds
66 Bard rider on horseback (dark lord cultist) telling all to flee coming evil armies
67 A dozen bandits of the area unconvinced the Dark Lord offer more justice or prosperity than current regime is helping refugees and wounded soldiers by holding off some goblin archers
68 A dozen barbarian riders here to kill minions of evil, normally they're kind unwelcome 
69 Elves helping some humans on the road with food and blankets (1in6 are dark elves in disguise and blankets carry plague and food is poison)
70 Distant horns and shaking earth as hundreds of orc heavy infantry and a dozen armoured war ogres. A dozen warg riders scout ahead and skirmish with enemies
71 An old knight leading 3 dozen militia hunting monsters, no idea how bad things are yet
72 Nuns with a wagon have heard needy folk need help. Not really helpless as they all carry maces, wear chain under robes and leader is 4th level priestess
73 Knight with his squire and several extra pack horses travelling and no idea of what's happening
74 A dozen knights led by a paladin and her priestess follower on a horse on a mission against a weapon of the enemy
75 A bandit gang of two dozen have been court off guard and escaping area with all their goods and a d6 harmless followers. Could be convinced to fight and earn a pardon but they plant to hide in a distant cave they have heard of
76 A merchant wagon train of fleeing rich with four dozen men at arms. A d3 merchant families and servants are fleeing to a ship to leave the continent
77 Local lord with seventy-five spearmen and six knights and forty archers on the hunt for evil
78 Amazons on horseback, dozen from beyond the frontier here to kill orcs or goblins, possibly meet some women to take home
79 Goblins mostly archers, two dozen killing a wounded d4 1=treeant 2=giant 3=hippogriff 4=cave bear
80 Wyvern is ridden by d4 1=orc hero 2=evil 5th level wizard 3=evil 4th level priest 5th=evil cultist knight
81 A dozen hill giants drunkenly lumbering about commanded by an orc hero and an orc squad of pikemen
82 A dozen orc heavy troops with composite bows, poison arrows, scimitars in chainmail, led by a hero with cursed evil blade and pet warg
83 A dozen lizardfolk warriors serving the dark lord against humans, these use obsidian war clubs and javelins and blowpipes with poison, led by a hero on riding giant lizard 
84 A dozen trolls marching to an orc drummer with a dozen orc pikemen and an orc hero behind them 
85 Goblin skirmishers are busy setting fire to forest or houses or something unwelcome
86 Dozen orcs riding giant boars from distant land led by a hero and druid companion here to kill those serving the dark lord, mostly avoid locals but enemy orcs fear them
87 Evil wizard with succubus or incubus lover trying to get back to dark lords side with espionage documents, if cant avoid others will pretend to be agents of the kind on a mission and if that work might try and lead the party to a command outpost to kill. Outpost will have at least four dozen words, a d4 wards and a 4th level evil orc priest
88 A wraith roaming the woods spies for the dark lord and reports adventurers location to the dark lord who sends six wyverns ridden by 4th level evil priests 
89 A wraith riding a zombie wyvern attacks non-allied adventurers
90 Chaos warband of thirty mongrel monster maniacs not affiliated with dark lord but up for raiding and looting and fighting. Goatman hero leader has harem of d6 chaos shoggoth lovers
91 Drums indicate hundreds of goblins running through area eating everything, most animals hide or flee
92 A dragon flies overhead and will ignore most travellers unless it is tempted by treasure, then it will breathe from the air than land to mell
93 A hundred orc heavy infantry marching and charting war chants led by an orc hero and evil priest adviser
94 A hundred skeletons marching with necromancer lord 9th Lv wizard, some of them play jaunty marching tunes on bone flutes and human skin drums 
95 A hundred corrupted human cultists 
96 A great demon of shadow and fire, flies overhead unseen for an age, a fallen demon angel serving the dark lord and thought all on earth killed by gods long ago
97 A great gaggle of over a hundred chaos tainted mutants shunned by the good and pretty relish the dark lord coming and have started murdering up to demonstrate their support
98 A spectral army of damned souls sworn to serve the dark lord long ago, now a hundred of these spirit warriors march as if they still lived
99 Army of 100 orc pikemen 100 orc heavy infantry 100 goblin archers 40 orc warg riders, 6 Hill giants, 4 megaceratops with cannon platforms on their backs and 80 goblin baggage handlers carry supplies in read and strip land of anything useful or of value. Each group is led by own hero and force is led by a demon who rides a shadow dragon
100 A colossal vessel of the dark lord has arisen, a terrible burning giant that lays waste to all in path with a hundred cultists following all chanting and sacrificing victims to him

War Against The Dark Lord 2: Wonders
01 The day grows shorter as twilight and sunset become several hours shorter
02 A great distant forest fire rains ash and sparks and smoke over a huge area for days. Chokes the air and reduces visibility and local spot fires startup
03 An eclipse long prophecized strikes panicking many peoples and paralysing both sides for a day
04 A great and terrible storm with gale-force winds sweeps over land destroying crops, damaging buildings and terrifying everyone. No forces move a d4 days
05 A volcano erupts surprising many, mostly darkens sky with smoke and makes sunsets more red and orange, but locals report damage and fire creatures spewing from the crater
06 A quake strikes the kingdom seemingly targeting many fortifications 
07 Heavy rain causes flash floods in lowlands and some people lose everything and even lives. Spreads chaos and hardship till giant beavers arrive to save the day
08 Bats swarm over the whole sky, millions upon millions like dark clouds
09 Coastal tsunami damages ports and fishing villages and many ships are lost
10 A plague breaks out in some cities as they prepare defences for war
11  A priest leading hundreds of singing peasants with flowers who are going to prey the evil one away with their love. The priest is mad as his secretly a doppelganger assistant has been poisoning him with madness drugs and mercury. The doppelganger really wants this scam to work and get promoted by the dark lord
12 An evil priest promises listeners life if they serve the dark lord and offers to take those willing to service and life behind enemy lines. Many desperate people are convinced by the promise of food and freedom. "Don't believe the lies, serving the dark lord is great!"
13 Baggage train of supplies in oxcarts heading to troops and needy is held up. An evil bard is trying to convince the quartermaster to take it all to the dark lord for gold and a title
14 A hundred orc spearmen and 40 goblin archers are leading the whole population of a village and several wagons of goods to the dark lord
15 A force of 100 barbarian horsemen from the frontier and a force of 100 knights have met on the road and the leaders are busy fighting about who should command and follow who and where the enemy is, this will continue for hours 
16 A sprawling force of a few dozen militia and several hundred irregular commoners with slings, bows and farm tools has united under the command of a naive young priest who marches to the enemy
17 Thousands of refugees swarm, abandoning heavy goods and broken wagons, some lost children and injured elderly crying for help
18 A wounded demoralised army retreating without any leadership fleeing and abandoning equipment, hundreds of men mostly wounded. Howls of wolves, drums and trumpets are behind them 
19 A priest driven mad by dark lord agents with drugs has assembled a children's crusade of three hundred city urchins with sticks and stones to fight the dark lord. All are hungry and cold
20 A recruitment station ahead has received two hundreds of recruits of all walks of life. Another hundred camp followers and refugees gather here also. Bard criers inform regularly new war and mobilisation news, people seem optimistic
21 A massive orc and goblin force is attacked by a third force of foreign orcs who set the orcs and goblins of the dark lord fighting while they flee. The force breaks up and scatters 
22 A marching army of undead is attacked by a fighting force of priests who route the undead scattering thousands of skeletons over the land all confused without orders
23 A halfling ventriloquist causes a dozen ettins to fight each other leaving several dead and most hurt. Then he starts taunting them again. 
24 Treants and tree spirit folk pour from the woods and route a goblin army 
25 A marching army of orcs halts. A wizard leader receives a message from the master and the whole force change direction to some distant cause
26 A marching army of orcs are repelled by halfling militia in trees throwing rocks
27 A great mighty wizard appears and routes an army of orcs and goblins
28 A hoarde of wildwood folk all hairy and naked and serving the dark lord are met by druids who convince them to change sides
29 An army of works is routed by mostly spells from elvish force who move in to finish off survivors 
30 A barbarian horde on horseback rout an army of orc infantry unprepared 
31 Forests are being infested with webs of giant spiders, some whole woodlands have been consumed
32 A migrating clan of ogres have set up a camp, more than  anyone in this land have ever seen
33 Thick black thorn bushes have sprung up in many places, blocking roads and forming huge hedge mazes meters wide sometimes, small races like goblins find it easier going than humans to cross
34 Millions of black rats swarm over the country spreading plague, eating stored grain and flowing into cities
35 A dark taint has overtaken local nature, evil squirrels and forest animals are hostile and tree spirits are evil unless someone can purify the heart of the forest in a secret druid cave
36 Hundreds of petrified fleeing human statues caught by a basilisk sent by the evil one. The beast still lurks awaiting orders
37 Squadrons of giant bats with goblin archers are attacked by giant eagles, clouds of ordinary bats and tiny birds fight around them darkening the sky, blood and feathers and bodies rain down
38 An abandoned army encampment with a few men hiding some wounded. The camp has been destroyed by werewolves spreading in the barracks now finally they have shed uniforms and destroyed most witnesses they have fled 
39 A wizard of the dark lord with hundred orc pikemen meets a cyclops leader to negotiate unity. Any interference now might ruin the meeting and possibility of the cyclops tribe joining. A dozen fighting cyclops are ready. It might be possible to get cyclops to help humans but this is harder
40 A colossal giant black undead wolf Carnix walks the land with a two dozen zombie wolves. The beast was released from the underworld by the dark lord and it longs to feast on humans
41 An army of orcs moving siege equipment, one of the weapons is worshipped as a minor god with a priesthood who care for it and it is pulled by a team of six megatheriums. The orc army includes 100 siege engineers 100 pikemen and 100 crossbowmen. The cult weapon is d4 1=Ullzauel the god cannon 2=Luran the violet ray apparatus 3=Gorizol a machine with lense to amplify a basilisk gaze 4=Hellspitter a machine that shoots a 20d6 fireball using gems as ammo 
42 Orc sappers have been digging and using black powder to divert a river that could flood all the lowlands. The massive earthworks are visible for miles. Once close see they are using human slave labour and have built a camp where the river diverging will destroy
43 Wizards have made vast black stone walls blocking roads and waterways causing chaos
44 A great string dust cloud is moving among it thousands of zombies moving in a herd to the dark lord's design. This control is based on a relic that might be damaged
45 A vast lake of mud has been created by wizards to block certain road routes and supply lines of the king's army. King's wizards hope to make a path through it by turning mud back to stone but mostly the land is ruined
46 A dark lord wizard unleashed a wind of death causing every 1HD or less humanoid to save or die as spectral death spirits slay those who fail with scythes and carry souls away. Survivors are horrifies 
47 Water is tainted with chaos in the area, strange plants, animals and mutant locals turn evil until taint is stopped
48 A great tribe of forest orcs unwilling to get involved in this age of strife using their druidic relics to all turn into trees for a few hundred years to the dark lord has gone or someone can find a way to revive them or convince them humans would cooperate against other orcs
49 A great barbarian prince with his burning spear Bloodbrand leads his army to attack an orc camp and personally slays a death knight hero of the dark lord
50 A great gathering of naked orcs standing about aimlessly. In the middle in a great muddy pit wizards make new orcs from the mud. Apprentices try to encourage orcs to try weapons and learn evil language commands. In a few days, they will be ready to fight 
51 A comet passes overnight, next day plague has broken out across the world
52 A shooting star crashes actually a greater demon entering the world released by the dark one 
53 A great burning light of the dark lord is seen blazing over the horizon shooting bolts of power into a great dark hole in the clouds above
54 A great spectral projection of the dark lord appears in the sky a supposed portent of his divinity according to the cult
55 A river turns red with blood, choked with corpses and body parts
56 Sixty orcs are digging up a graveyard and assembling skeletons on tables for a necromancer to make into skeletons. Have about 70 so far make a dozen a day, plan to be here a week
57 A giant cyclops orc hero leading a horde of a hundred irregular wild orcs with his great spear Grimsplinter a poison evil weapon used in the dawn age to kill an elf king. Has a personal guard of ogrillion orc-ogre hybrids
58 Great colossal drake Gloomfang unseen for an age plunges from the sky and destroys a town with fire and rages in the flames screaming
59 A vast dark shadow covers the land as armies of darkness advance allowing them more freedom in daylight for many cave born orcs and undead. As the armies advance dark priests plant monoliths that expand the effect, A temple in the dark lord's realm controls this effect with an artefact called the Cradle of Darkness
60 An ice lich riding an undead woolly rhino leads an army of a thousand frost covered zombies, spreading winter like conditions as they advance. The lich carries an artefact brings winter with it and has six living dark elf luitwnants riding winterwolves
61 Evil dwarves explode a cliff face revealing their great garage magical war juggernauts and a few iron golems to roll out over the land and crush humanity for the evil one
62 Dark elves call the great gnawing underworld dragon Nidhog to kill all the crops and fruit with blight overnight. Each night the dark elves affect a new district riding on wolves
63 Goblins call on their great worm god to spawn a plague of maggots that eat any food or crops on the plant then gnaw on wood or animals. Takes a few years to die off
64 Spiders have woven great cables over vast distances they can use like a telegraph system to send messages. The cables can be followed to spider operated stations and a hub connected to the dark lords command
65 A colossal spider monster bursts from the earth with her army of giant spiders
66 Tarrasque has been awoken by the dark lord and is being directed by a gold torc that hurts the beast. If freed it goes for the local dark lord HQ to destroy it
67 A great insect hive of evil tainted termite folk grows towering over area as trees stripped and earth scoured for construction. If the evil tainted queen is killed the colony die
68 Orcs are razing all the trees in a valley to build a gargantuan construct to house the essence of the dark lord if his current body fails
69 Goblinoids are digging a vast pit with slave human labour digging up a giant armoured corpse of a past form of the dark lord they hope to revive (you cant have 2 dark lords right?)
70 A local leader has camp with four hundred refugees, 100 spearmen, 100 archers and 100 horsemen. The king has been confused by his evil bard and is paralysed with indecision and has locked up their heir who dared disagree in a bout of paranoia. Orc scouts know of their plight and dark forces gather
71 Hundreds of forest animals and faerie folk and tree spirits pour from the woods and send a army of monsters fleeing
72 An orc force is under siege by a larger horde of beastfolk united against the dark lord and his wizard scum who tortured and enslaved beast folk in the past
73 A river or stream is polluted and banks fouled. Following upstream is a basilisk lair where the dark lord left an egg to hatch under a toad to poison the area. Stone statues of adventurers and goblins are scattered in the area
74 A sinkhole collapses getting bigger and bigger changing area with a rubble-filled flooded depression. Strange creatures of the deep scuttle out like giant bugs and worms later weird giant fungus sprouts everywhere around the area
75 The giant fungus is growing everywhere rapidly and spore spots develop on trees and plants. This fungus attracts giant bugs and worms and flies to the area and goblins love to forage here
76 An orc hero druid priestess riding a giant stag leads orc barbarians and hopes to liberate deluded orcs from evil and reconnect them with their spirit ancestors. The orc army will grow and the dark lord will send assassins and monsters to destroy her. Eventually leading orcs against the dark lords HQ
77 A black strange castle fades into reality like some phantom, undead winged apes in service of the dark lord swarm out to kidnap victims for the castle. The alien tentacle faced ultraterestrial  wizards from beyond inside drain victims souls to power the castle jumps and the bodies are encased in armour as undead troops. The dark lord only called them out of desperation as they will always betray him eventually
78 A great web structure over hundreds of yards part of a huge cable goes into the sky out of sight. Spiders guard the base and keep a look out for fire they will try to smother out with fresh webbing. The dpiders have tethered a star to the earth and agents of the darklord have invaded a celestial palace of a star spirit and her elf courtiers. The dark lord caught one of her spies and struck first fearing she might gather the stars themselves against him. An evil wizard advises the orc hero with a famous scimitar Moonrazor. The star eas sitting on the fence as stars do but now if freed will reward rescuers and send owls to the other stars and the celestial bureaucracy to get the gods acting. Her influence sheers decades off process. She offers advice on the dark lords artifact locations and weapons that could be used against him 
79 A great tree has been felled and partly burned. Aparently some faerie folk lived inside and in the roots blow. Various local talking animals, spirit folk and faries have gathered to bury friends. Nice cottage decor has been smashed and charred. A good opportunity to recruit a unusual follower. The critters might be motivated to fight or help
80 A winking star has appeared revealing the evil one has released a new great demon to the world and his cause. By day the demon appears in various battles where needed by the dark lord
81 The pole star shine bright larger than ever, a sign evil fears. Polestar sends spirits to the mortal world returning lost hero weapons from thousands of years ago that the dark lord fears. Across world heroes who have heard of the polestar myth look up and wonder if they will receive a gift
82 A great gateway opens in the mountain releasing shadows and zombies and skeletons. Distant chanting of cultists can be heard keeping the gate open. If slain the gate closes. The cult have a relic, special books and magical ingredients required to open this. The head priest of darkness is a famous evil hero and wanted criminal for killing royalty
83 Strange green and violet glows flicker and dance about in the northern sky. Some say this is god battling the darkness to weaken the dark one 
84 A strange luminous cloud passes over area inflicting many with mutations. Some locals are quick to shun or even kill mutants so many are forced to flee unless someone stops theses troublemakers. The condition might be cured with a rare lawful herb
85 An ancient wizard tower is under attack by a hundred orcs who have improvised siege weapons and await some black powder kegs or a cannon. The wizard guards a relic feared by the dark lord that could greatly aid the good forces. A spirit might inform the party of this but the wizard will be reluctant to use the weapon
86 A great crack in the earth opens releasing a d6 dragons and 3d6 wyverns who proceed to cause trouble. Twisting tunnels to the deep may release more monsters
87 A vast area covered in mold where people die from choking spores and the dead arise as fungal bloated undead. A fungus demon noble trapped in a apparatus at the centre held by the dark lords wizards. If freed the demon offers to send minions to aid when released it
88 An army of the darklord has human slaves digging up what seems to be a silver tower that fell and was buried long ago. Strange weapons of law are inside the wizard leader of the expedition hopes to claim
89 A great gathering of wild hairy naked wild folk with burning whicker man idols meeting at sacred stones. They are debating in their rare language which side to join. One who has served the dark lord as a dark hero offers death to the clothed folk and their stupid gods. An older king priest disagrees but is being burned tonight. Various candidates fight to be the next 7 year ruler including the dark lord agent who cheats with his priest and wizard followers. Humans mostly unwelcome but demihumans, beastfolk or halflings might get a say or chance to stop evil plots. Most humans don't know these wild folk exist or ever meet and would fear them
90 A serpant man wizard leading a lizard folk army with veloceraptor cavalry and a war trex. The wizard rides chariot pulled by a triceratops and has a dark elf chariot driver. He is doing a favor for the dark lord just this once an unpopular decision. If he dies the rest will likely return to their hibernation dungeon till the next apocalypse if given the chance
91 The moon changes colour to a strange eerie red and the whole night sky is filled with dim red light, a preview of what will happen if evil wins. Moon cultists determine a certain moon ziggarutt run by amazons in secret is under siege and is key to saving the moon. Inside is a gate to the moons celestial palace where evil has infiltrated
92 An evil star falls actually part of world left from creation demons have inhabited for aeons. The dark lord has brought them here to spread chaos but the demon prince of what is now a huge flaming crater seeks dominion over area. Demon cultists and chaos fanatics begin a pilgrimage here
93 Great burning evil eyes in the evening sky make everyone in world have lower saves by -2 each night until dark lord distracted or the aparatus used is broken. Experts know of the relic from previous use 
94 On the highest point in the land orcs are erecting an ancient design of a wizard defence tower that will be able to shoot burning rays to anything in its line of sight. A great crystal to power it is being moved to the gem in wagons with an escort
95 Ankheg giant burrowing bugs fill the area with hundreds of trenches, tunnels and pits intending it to be a future fortress. Once bugs hold strategic points as guards goblinoids from the deep pour out and man the bizarre fortification choking the area and expanding. Fungus thrives in tunnels with gobbo care and other giant bugs move in. Area will be prone to bugs and giant fungi for a long time
96 Magma pours from volcanic vent with lava forming a great basalt wall blocking a natural chokepoint blocking armies. If stopped quickly by killing salamanders chanting in the rift can be stopped 
97 One of the great dragons of evil is attacking a crumbling fortress with it's orc troops where an important future hero lives. Elves riding griffins appear and drive the beast away with lightning wands. Will anoint the chosen youth with gifts (and for family) and insist child goes to faerie land for training till right moment when needed (child returns as adult knight hero anytime)
98 Somewhere in the world a halfling messes up one of the dark lords infernal apparatus. Flickering lights in the sky alarm experst world wide and various evil relics and communications of the dark lord are crap for a d4 days till fixed. Perhaps the effect can be repeated at right time by good allies  
99 A gigantic dwarf golem the size of a small fort has a defensive force of 40 dwarf inside to shoot crossbows or guns from battlements in the titan. The giant lumbers to the nearest dark lord base to start smashing until eventually a greater demon or dragonfire destroys it. Once war over will march into a door in a mountain to be sealed till next time
100 A major force of the dark lord is camped ready to march. Someone somewhere lures away the wyverns patrollingthe sky away. Grey gnomish airships from a great door in a mountain come out and from extreme altitude drop poison gas, burning oil and black powder bombs on the army horribly burning and melting and blasting the army. Wyverns return confused and think they will get the blame. The next day survivor orcs come out in the plague and the area is diseased for a long time and taints the flesh of local animals for decades

note i am infamous in my crew as not liking flying ships or balloons in anything but my deep gnomes are near victorian tech level scientific murder hobos. Princess ark was probably the best thing in Dragon mag for years but at the time i wanted spells and rules and was getting grittier history gaming. When Known world was Mystara it became unusable to me. 

Thursday, 23 April 2020

d100 Courtly Scandals & Dramas








So when you get to name level and forced to attend court or if you just serve a member of the court and come as a follower of someone important there are lots of exciting things always happening. Some of these are opportunities to gain fame and influence for the person making a career among the nobility.

d10 Type
01 Romance

02 Fortune
03 Feuds
04 Hostages
05 Spies
06 Plots
07 Murder
08 Health
09 Fashion
10 Supernatural

d100 
Courtly Scandals & Dramas
01 Several lovers from the court are on the run and families scandalised
02 Some great lover of the court has fathered a dozen children in secret 
03 Someone in the ruling family rumoured to have a secret lover
04 A bastard child has arrived in secret in the court to cause trouble
05 Court leaders gluttonous sexual appetite and has many secret offspring
06 Court all speculating who are secret lovers someone spotted from a tower
07 Court members in scandals about town in vice and gambling dens with prostitutes
08 Rumours say some court members have been having secret orgies  
09 Many court men taken to demanding duels over accusations of wives fidelity
10 Court members racing to see who can have the most high status lovers
11 The head of the court has been forcing new titled nobles and adventurers to lend money
12 A famous explorer visited court and many locals have sworn to go exploring
13 A noble reclaimed some mines lost to monsters and now everybody trying
14 A court member returned from plundering treasure from non-humans
15 A court member has returned from plundering an exiting foreign place 
16 A court member was caught cheating on taxes and thrown in prison
17 Noble family offering marriage for paying off family debts
18 Lord's titles and land revoked and has become a robber knight refusing to give up19 Old weak noble being bullied for land and daughters by rich families
20 Noble traveller gave a great exotic gift to the ruler and now a favourite 
21 Two clans have lost many to blood duels and legal actions
22 Two rich merchants trying to get court sympathy against each other
23 Two fighting siblings put a whole clan at risk
24 Two clans have been kidnapping each other as hostages
25 Two clans have been having assassins kill each other off
26 Two clans compete in sports of all kinds and locals cheer them on
27 Two great feuding merchant clans have both become banks
28 A new faith competes with old order among some nobles
29 Two families competing for public feats of charity and monuments
30 Two families carry on an ancient feud from long ago 
31 Important youth for arranged marriages was kidnapped by a secret society
32 Clan matriarch was taken hostage by a rebel kinsman
33 Noble has taken mistress of a major influencer hostage for political reasons
34 A family trying to raise hostage fee of cleric taken by savage humanoids
35 Child heirs of a noble taken hostage and family desperate and going broke
36 Court maiden has been taken by some horrible monster demanding treasure
37 Court youth was taken by a forest robber knight and taken to his gruberhole as a hostage
38 Lover of noble captured by enemies for blackmail
39 A senior family member was lost as a hostage years ago in distant war just returned
40 One clan runs a notorious inescapable private prison full of enemies
41 A popular court lover could be a foreign spy
42 A servant was caught reading noble letters and awaits court, torture and execution
43 One of the important courtier's lovers was a foreign agent 
44 A popular lady in waiting possibly poisoned her lovers and escaped with secrets
45 An important senior scribe of a clan going into hiding and selling secrets
46 A number of sales and servants have been discovered pilfering secrets of late
47 Sabotage from some enemy power has increased
48 Visiting nobles are very keen to see historic maps and learn local history from records
49 Visiting scholars examining family trees and records
50 A popular bard has been befriending court and learning about the land
51 Someone has been whispering about illegitimate heirs around the court
52 Courtiers are taking of war and trying to get support for a conflict
53 Younger heir resents older family leader who mysteriously dies from poisoning
54 False evidence of witchcraft cults has been used to ruin some clans
55 Poisoning went wrong and family leaders all died at a feast
56 Lord argument with bishop who was murdered recently by robber knights
57 Lord has been outlawed and has refused to pay tax, urges other lords do same
58 A recent attempt to kill a court member failed but assassin died before questioning
59 A tortured spy spoke of an unknown court member providing information to enemies
60 The leader of the court had a number of nobles rounded up for plots of treason
61 Noble killed many rebelling serfs then refused offers of charity from church to help
62 Two famous clan warriors had a private duel and both died weakening both families 
63 An older noble was poisoned recently making many fearsome
64 A noble was stabbed to death by servants in their own home 
65 Peasants rose up recently but the leaders of the movement were murdered
66 Letters revealing a murder plot had a noble beheaded publicly
67 A knight bewitched by dark elves murdered his whole family
68 A noble was exposed as a cult leader so they sacrificed all hostages and fled
69 Tools of an assassin were found in a noble's castle by accident
70 An old noble who died recently is rumoured to have been killed by own children
71 An elderly noble is squandering money on elixirs and cures for ageing72 A recent plague victim was found in the region and many are worried
73 A desperate search is on for medicine to awaken a poisoned maiden
74 An old noble has called all their house to attend a feast to announce retiring
75 An ailing noble has retired to a monastery and left money to their heirs
76 A recent outbreak of sickness killed many older nobles and people in power
77 An important court woman is pregnant but some question the real father
78 An old noble recovered from deathbed to find sons destroying the estate fighting
79 A strange illness bringing odd dreams to the area, some blame invisible imps
80 A number of strange deaths have been reported in the area this year
81 A fanciful kind of shoe or hat keeping local crafters and merchants busy
82 A new bard sound has everyone excited to hear the new school sound
83 New dishes from the other lands have become the fashion but there is a shortage of cooks 
84 A noblewoman has demanded a certain rare fabric for her wedding but the last wagonload was taken by bandits
85 A new hairstyle is popular but the church find scandalous and complain frequently86 Jousts are all the rage with nobility now and a new tournament is called
87 A new type of stronger faster horse from far away has reached the market
88 More knights have full plate now making older obsolete armours embarrassing
89 Many new preachers are gaining popularity but some now declared heretics
90 Witch mania strikes and witch hunters and panic break out across the kingdom
91 A noble has a haunting on their estate and at a loss what to do 
92 A noble has been struck by a curse and the magician responsible demands something 
93 A monster has been roaming by night near court worrying many who frequent it
94 Blood drained corpses of servants were found in the court chambers
95 A secret cult has been making attempts to infiltrate and influence the court
96 Witches have been spreading menace across the countryside
97 A powerful wizard has threatened the kingdom from their forbidden lair
98 Location of an ancient tomb complex has exited many scholars
99 A haunted ruin from the history of the kingdom stirring alarming some in court
100 A wicked evil priest menacing the kingdom has an underground temple complex

Wednesday, 11 February 2015

d100 Loves Gone Wrong

Still 3 game logs behind and 2 articles on roadwar coming but finally did a d100 while on bus and travels. Reading books has been partly to blame for writing less. Damn - nobody learnified nothing from books!

My games have lots of weddings and babies but not enough horrid romantic tragedies. Will go under my gothic collection eventually.

Reading Irish fairy tales was good inspiration. Potions that make people forget love seem pretty handy thing for druids, but even then the mind wiped have subconscious bitterness.

If you were evil could apply to players loves but I might make them more avoidable. Once should be enough for a few years in most cases. You could roll for loved one of a king or friend of party to start a scenario. Perhaps even roll for dungeon boss.

The d10 version is for a quick problem with the d100 being a expanded version with more specific woes

d10 Quick Loves Gone Wrong
1 Rival Affections - another object of attention or love or distraction enters the scene
2 Spite & Jealousy - Lovers strong dislikes cause problems
3 Kidnapping - Some jerk steals the sweet heart away
4 Death & Murder - A sticky doom befalls the dear one
5 Spells & Curses - A magical doom befalls the object of affection
6 Loves Rewards - Intimacy may lead to some crisis or problem
7 Loves Secrets - A dark secret taints the love
8 Pride & Prejudice - Lovers arrogance brings downfall
9 Blood Feuds & Dark Inheritance - the lovers kin have a haunted past
10 Loves Unreasoned - strong emotions drive lover to excess

d100 Loves Gone Wrong
01 Romantic rival comes on the scene attracts interest from one of the parties
02 An old flame returns and tempts old interest from one of the parties
03 A new dear friend of lover is taking up their time and influencing them
04 One lover is haunted by a dream lover that begins distract them
05 A famous hero attracts one of parties
06 An important leader is attracted to one of the lovers and attempts to remove obstacle
07 One of the lovers adopts a new religion which increasingly steals away loves devotion
08 A supernatural seducer uses magical means and foul plots to obtain one of the lovers
09 A changeling or doppelganger or look alike attempts to court lover using form of true love
10 A enemy uses lies and deception to get intimate with one of the lovers
11 Lover disapproves of partner spending time with family or friends plots to drive them away or even kill
12 Lover insanely jealous of partners friendships, always afraid they are having affairs
13 Lover dislikes you spending time with anyone attractive
14 Lover does everything to stop you leaving home even feigning illness
15 Lover declares partner's religion is a obstacle
16 Lover cannot stand partners life of danger and tries to get them to settle down
17 Lover hates partners suspected children from other relationships and wants them dead
18 Lover scared of magic and tries to get rid of lovers enchanted junk
19 Lover wary of partners attempts to have fun or enjoy any vice
20 Lover thinks partner needs a new career and goes on and on and on with the hints
21 Kidnapping by evil kinfolk in seeking power
22 Kidnapped by vengeful enemies of one of lovers
23 Kidnapped by a cult to brainwash or sacrifice or ransom
24 Kidnapped by a evil wizard for a nefarious scheme
25 Kidnapped by a wicked knight and carried away to their tower to marry
26 Kidnapped by a monster as a mate or meal
27 Kidnapped by other worldly beings for a nefarious plot
28 Kidnapped by criminals seeking a huge ransom or blackmail
29 Kidnapped and replaced by a shape changer or imposter
30 Kidnapped by savage tribe to torment and ravish 
31 Assassins plot to kill lover sent by enemy
32 Poisoned by a witch seeking to get revenge
33 Lover given false news which drives them to suicide
34 Lover gets the plague and lays ill near death unless saved
35 A tragic pointless accident kills or maims lover
36 Killed by undead and raised as monster by power of evil
37 A lynch mob under mistaken fury slay a lover
38 Lover falsely accused of terrible crime and awaiting execution
39 A petty criminal kills or maims lover over paltry scraps
40 A jealous rival wants one of lovers out of the picture so they can get closer
41 A witch curses a lover with terrible spell using a attractive gift
42 A wizard transforms the lover into d4 1=stone 2=common beast 3=dragon 4=ogre
43 A sorcerer tries to enslave lover into life of vice with charms and potions and drugs
44 A necromancer seeks to kill lover to be be their eternal undead mate
45 Faeries steal lover away to fairy land for themselves leaving a changeling behind
46 Faeries take lover to fairy land and due to differences in time scale is married with adult children
47 Lover is bitten by lycanthrope and exhibits strange behavior
48 God drives a lover mad for hubris and they try to kill lover and any offspring
49 God mates with lover willingly or unwillingly producing a magical child
50 God plays tricks on lovers to test or torment them
51 One or both partners catch a horrible sexually transmitted disease
52 Stillborn childbirth d4 1=mother dies too 2=parent suicides 3=mother sterile 4=parent drive mad
53 One lovers becomes responsible for d6 adopted children
54 One of lovers turns cold and disinterested in affection or intimacy
55 Church claims relationship not recognized and intimacy forbidden
56 Lovers have a child but birth surrounded by omens and prophecies
57 Child replaced with changeling by faeries or is a monster
58 One partner obsessed with having as many children as possible and fertility potions
59 One partner is infertile and other badly wants children
60 One lover has multiple lovers and has insatiable appetites
61 One lover is a shape changer
62 Lover is member of a forbidden cult
63 One lover used to be opposite gender
64 Lover used to be non human d4 1=demihuman 2=humanoid 3=monster 4=animal
65 Lover is a witch or warlock and seeks to spread evil using lover as protector
66 Lover committed terrible crimes and fears being discovered
67 Lover secretly employee of evil faction or villain
68 Lover has a curse or prophecy dooming them
69 Lover has a cursed relic they keep a secret and cannot abandon
70 Lover is actually a ghost in human form or in control of a human host
71 Boasting lover keeps local gossip mills churning with wild stories of partners prowess  
72 Boasting lover infuriates local leaders with claims they are inferior to partner
73 Lover urges partner to help genocidal cause due to personal vendetta
74 Lover boasts partner better than the gods who are displeased by hubris and blasphemy
75 Boasts that lover greatest in land attracts duelists and punk kids from peers far and wide
76 Lovers gossip about partner offends local faction who demand death for this dishonour
77 Lover gossips about partners hidden wealth, trade secrets and problems
78 Lovers gossip attracts stream of unwanted suitors, jealous rivals and concerned holy teachers
79 Lover has unreasonable phobia and begs partner to keep horrors away
80Lover boasting about partners wealth attracts criminals and con men
81 Lovers family scarred by a dark history
82 Lovers family has many enemies that try and destroy the new partner
83 Lovers family have many factions and several mark the couple for death
84 Lover has divine or other planar ancestors that interfere in key family events
85 Lovers family hate the partner and humiliate them with scorn and lies
86 Lover has hopeless family in laws move in
87 Children on one of lovers clan carry a non human taint of the elder gods
88 One lovers clan include agents of a rival foreign power and serve to weaken the kingdom
89 Family of one of lover connected to cursed and haunted location feared across the land
90 Both families of lovers hate each other constantly causing problems and threatening murder
91 Lover always running away to serve a cause
92 Lover goes mad and tries to kill partner, possibly caused by gods or inbreeding
93 Commits suicide if left alone too long from depression
94 Lover has multiple personalities that begin to emerge with different alignments
95 Lover loves to waste money on gaudy status symbols, always making new debts
96 Violent streak in lover willing to kill to help partner in secret
97 One lover likes to throw money at shams, cult leaders, frauds and hucksters
98 Past trauma reduces lover to madness requiring constant treatment and nursing
99 Once married lover turns into domineering, drug abusing and lazy bully
100 One lover only aroused by strange possibly illegal or sacrilegious sexual acts

*any similarities to real life coincidental - no scrying was used

Sunday, 14 December 2014

d100 What is that Master of Magic up to?

Ok here is a final monster R&R table, I promise. Hmmm but perhaps one more for unintelligent bestial ones in lairs?....

So this covers what sorcerers, evil priests, shamans and wizards in a dungeon or lair might be up to.

d10 Quick what is spell user up to?
1 Dealing with students
2 Engaged in ritual
3 Researching magical secrets
4 Forbidden vice
5 Dealing with business
6 Receiving magical guests
7 Every day drudgery
8 Working on hobby
9 Making magical thing
10 Something ghastly

d100 What is that Master of Magic up to?

01 Beating apprentices
02 Teaching apprentices
03 Practising Tantric ritual with unhappy apprentice
04 Sleeping while apprentices uses cantrip petty spells to clean up
05 Reading while apprentices stir cauldron and make dinner
06 Drinking while apprentices made to perform humiliating show
07 Researching spell while apprentices stripping flesh from corpses
08 Having a nice smoke while apprentices copy documents
09 Testing applicants for new apprentices
10 Telling apprentices to stop crying over fellow student accidentally killed
11 Preying to other planar being
12 Practicing divination ritual
13 Deep in trance
14 Contacting the spirits of the dead
15 Chanting names of planar beings, spirits or ancestors
16 Talking to familiar
17 Sacrificing a victim to planar being in return for knowledge
18 Drawing magical symbols
19 Painting symbols on face, hands or whole body
20 Casting runes, bones or engraved sticks for divination
21 Dissecting a monster corpse
22 Dissecting a human corpse
23 Building a model
24 Drawing up plans for alchemical apparatus
25 Drawing up alchemical calculations
26 Studying astrological charts
27 Measuring skulls with callipers to determine intelligence of deceased
28 Setting up lab for experiment
29 Tormenting a restrained creature to learn about magical abilities
30 Reading blasphemous tablets or books or scrolls
31 Turning animal into attractive sex slave
32 Inhaling magical vapours and powders for otherworldly visions
33 Trying to summon a succubi or incubus just from curiosity
34 Entertaining self with lewd illusions
35 Tormenting sexy imp in bottle
36 Practicing appearance enhancing illusions on self in mirror
37 Scrying on distant bath house with magic
38 Charming a attractive prisoner for sexual favours
39 Enhancing appearance of ugly servant for sexual favours
40 Promising a youth they can magically restore virginity after and other claims
41 Dealing with grave robbers for fresh corpses
42 Counting money
43 Writing letter to fellow caster about magical matter
44 Dealing with merchant for exotic supplies
45 Dealing with criminal for illegal goods
46 Dealing with slaver or kidnapper to buy someone
47 Being visited by prostitutes
48 Boss monster (or a servant) visiting for advice or a spell
49 Negotiating with cultists for forbidden lore books
50 Talking to guards about need to be alert for nosey adventurers
51 Playing chess with visiting caster
52 Visited by lover really trying to steal secrets
53 Communicating with distant spell caster though magical means
54 A peer come to exchange magical secrets
55 Arguing with rival about territorial claims or some offence
56 Talking to planar creature about a pact
57 A charming visitor offering power actually a outer planar being
58 Selling soul to visiting outer planar being in disguise
59 Making a deal with stranger actually a shape shifting monster
60 Talking to cult leader about an alliance
61 Writing in journal
62 Writing shopping list
63 Eating dinner alone
64 Sitting on toilet
65 Reading fiction in front of fire in comfy chair
66 Grooming in front of mirror
67 Getting dressed in front of mirror
68 Having a nap
69 Cleaning up lab
70 Cooking a meal
71 Polishing and sorting bone collection
72 Assembling a skeleton for display
73 Stuffing a animal
74 Pinning insect into display case
75 Alphabetising collection of blasphemous books
76 Feeding pets and familiars
77 Making artwork
78 Looking at stars and making notes
79 Sorting out collection of fetishes
80 Examining collection of erotic art
81 Brewing a potion 
82 Creating a monster
83 Summoning something from beyond
84 Raising the dead
85 Making a minor magic item
86 Making a magic weapon or armour
87 Making a wand
88 Making a magic scroll
89 Making a magic tool
90 Making magical jewelery
91 Communicating with a horrible being from beyond
92 Sacrificing people in bizarre ritualistic manner
93 Crossbreeding a monster with a human
94 Performing horrid rite to activate a vile relic
95 Growing nightmare creation in a vat
96 Growing a beautiful person in a vat as d4 1=child 2=lover 3=slave 4=to torment
97 Turning victims into monsters and putting in caged pits
98 Watching monsters devour screaming victim
99 Mating with otherworldly horror so it's spawn may dwell on earth as a native
100 Releasing a planar being into world in return for a service or curiosity or just fun

Saturday, 13 December 2014

Even More Off Duty Monster Antics

One advantage of Reddit gazing on my no1 all time hit post (4100 last count) was their nitpicking was actually good for editing - usually my blogger readers tell me when my numbers out on my tables but this nitpicker did me a favour in spotting number repeats so Im going to have to do a third table for what off duty monsters up to. I also learned difference between prey and pray which seems to have stuck and being alert for homonym errors. I am borderline brain damaged with numbers and vowels so I appreciate kindly and helpful editorial tips (but not the: "I should quit writing forever for my word crime" ones).

d100 Yet more pastimes for monster layabouts in their barracks
01 Looking at treasure map of dead comrades stash
02 Making a toy to send to kids back home
03 Discussing first time they murdered
04 Discussing what underworld like
05 Explaining to peers how all monsters are equal
06 Laying in bed blowing nose with filthy old rags
07 Making a dummy to take place in bed or guard spot
08 Polishing weapon or armour
09 Making improvised weapon like a shiv or spiked club
10 Masturbating
11 Peeling root vegetables
12 Eating eggs
13 Eating groats
14 Snacking on rat on a stick or huge bug
15 Having a nap
16 Praying to gods
17 Plotting with peers against boss
18 Dreaming up a evil scheme
19 Trying to solve puzzle to open a secret lock they have found in dungeon
20 Mixing drinks to create horrible cocktails
21 Entertaining some monster strippers one brought back home
22 Trying to cook a giant monster egg
23 Trying to remove gunpowder safely from dwarf land mine
24 Torturing a kobold for information on his tribal treasure
25 Monster showing of cantrip or petty spell he learned
26 Superior trying to teach grunts more refined accents
27 Monsters trying to learn to count over 10 by frustrated leader
28 Cracking nuts intently with mallet
29 Celebrating a monsters birthday
30 Telling adventurer jokes
31 Deep frying grubs and caterpillars
32 Passing around huge centipede or spider to build up immunity
33 Soothsayer disemboweling a goat warning monsters that a dark force is looming near
34 Monster performing astrological readings from charts he pretends to be able to read
35 Monsters playing with adorable pet giant ferret
36 Monsters playing spin the bottle with prisoners
37 Shaman giving medical inspections while monsters standing naked in line
38 Restraining bunk mate berserk from eating wrong shrooms
39 Monsters trying to find which of them is a thief
40 Monsters trying to find which of them blocked the toilet
41 Leader started a surprise inspection
42 Monsters squabbling about what to do with unconscious prostitute
43 Drunkenly skinning something alive rubbing blood on faces laughing
44 Scrubbing floor with brushes and buckets of filthy water
45 Leader abusing troops for modifying uniforms
46 Monsters discussing who among them worships the wrong evil god in secret
47 Monsters sitting on top bunks drinking to see who can stay up the longest
48 Monsters eating delicious spicy goat brains in flat bread
49 Monster whingeing about food quality while older monsters laugh
50 Monsters giggling over sexy naked imp trapped in bottle
51 Monsters trying to figure out who is the doppelganger among them
52 Monsters boasting about children
53 Monsters worrying about how dead body got into barracks
54 Monster telling others his mother will be angry if they tease him anymore
55 Superior asking troops if anybody has seen his missing child
56 Band practice on home made instruments from bones, skin and sinew
57 Monsters debating if they should eat strange possibly magic pie they found in dungeon
58 Locking drunk dorm mate into chastity belt
59 Sarge yelling at monsters to clean up for visit from the boss
60 Sarge bullying monster in front of peers to humiliate them
61 Sarge beating trooper into submission
62 Healer visiting several sick monsters
63 Priest come to talk about leaving wealth to temple
64 Priest come to talk unnatural urges in barracks
65 Priest consoling monster whose family were killed by adventurers
66 Muttering about haunting in dungeon  d4 1=mummy 2=vampire 3=ghost 4=wight
67 Muttering about unwelcome thing in dungeon d4 1=murder hobos 2=dwarves 3=elves 4=cultists
68 Monsters cruelly tormenting a pet d4 1=giant rat 2=dog 3=cat 4=goat
69 Vets explaining to green recruit "what happens in dungeon stays in dungeon"
70 Telling stories of abusing prisoners and having a good laugh
71 Wishing that adventurers here so they could teach them a lesson
72 Talking about current prisoners held in the dungeon
73 Discussing bosses plans and pointing out weaknesses
74 Torturing a adventurer and telling them the bosses master plan
75 Discussing that one of them is possibly a were beast responsible for murders
76 Talking about injustice of humans on monsters ancestral lands
77 Telling dirty jokes about popular gods of outsiders
78 Playing with kittens then swallowing them whole
79 Applying poison or infected gore to weapon blades
80 Having a spitting contest
81 Trying to convince new guy ok to cheat on your wife with a goat
82 Planning to sneak out of dungeon to abuse some nearby villagers next break
83 Complaining the dungeon is boring and they never get any action
84 Monsters listening to stories of human cruelty and brutality
85 Mounting human heads as trophies to decorate barracks
86 Convincing smaller monster how lucky he is to be ball in tomorrows match
87 Skinning rabbits and making stew
88 Trying to make gunpowder like one saw a wizard do one time
89 Bashing strange glowing metal relics together with hammer to see what happens
90 One trying to convince buddies to sell souls to outer planar being of evil
91 Evaluating each others turds in chamber pots
92 Grooming their pet giant rats while gossiping about upcoming best rat contest
93 Flagellating selves as penance for failing evil tribal god
94 Drawing dicks on walls and laughing loudly
95 Debating if old practical or new fancy uniforms were a better look
96 Complaining how new leaner monsters all look skinny and used to carry more fat
97 Questioning what weapons are best and why pole arms seem less effective nowdays
98 Elders telling younger monsters not to question why they looked different 30 years ago
99 Vetran monster explaining why monsters must wander around dungeon
100 Debating if alignment is inborn or choice

Friday, 5 December 2014

More d100 Off Duty Monsters Antics

Previous post on this a unexpected runaway success that took 15 minutes on bus to write (and a lil help from Richard Grenville on G+). Hopefully because it was simple and funny not just because of bodily humour.

Ok so next few days revised redbrick a-z coming out here, blood magic (thanks to my 9 year old helpers) and some finalized rules on my roadwar game.

Been nice to get back to basics. Lots of requests for more Psychon stuff but im a bit stumped for ideas which might be why i stopped it. I aIso rn most of my Gammworld Modules I got as teen in UK 1984. I do like 9and30kingdoms.blogspot.com has done with Yellow planet and his Carcosa mods. I guess I could finish my robot rules and mutation lists and mutant character class, all big projects. Any requests for more Planet Psychon let me know.

d100 More off duty monster barracks antics
01 Picking nose
02 Piercing each other with jewelery (safest way to save your treasure)
03 Farting or belching contest
04 Eating beans
05 Ransacking comrades trunks
06 Drinking contest
07 Sitting on chamberpot d4 1=whistling 2=straining 3=reading 4=twiddling thumbs
08 Trying to start a fire
09 Chasing a rat
10 Fishing in a drain hole for something they saw move
11 Threading finger and ear necklaces
12 Swatting insects
13 Making shrunken heads and teaching beginners
14 Writing or dictating a letter home
15 Being warned by superior to be alert for adventurers
16 Teaching young comrade how to resist torture
17 Teaching bird in cage to swear
18 Chortling over rude shaped turnip or fungus
19 Playing with dire wolf puppy
20 Talking about inter tribe sport teams
21 Kicking around a d4 1=kobold 2=gremlin 3=goblin 4=baby orc
22 Eating a pickled hog head
23 Shooting fish in a barrel with crossbow
24 Talking about feelings
25 Taking turns to snatch scorpion or snake from bowl
26 Teasing stupidest monster in barracks with tricks
27 Picking on comrade for reading a book
28 Chasing a moth
29 Discussing poetry
30Gossiping about love life of boss
31 Boasting who has killed most humans
32 Giving each other leech therapy
33 Complaining how uniforms make them look fat
34 Eating honey comb
35 Eating a bucket of garlic buttered snails and frog legs
36 Having a pissing contest
37 Making crude costumes to scare intruders or a prank
38 Playing cup and ball, complaining "it's my turn next"
39 Taunting each other
40 Inventing a new battle cry and discussing merits of each
41 Plotting to run away from dungeon and boss before caught for treason
42 Fighting over who cleans d4 1=dishes 2=latrines 3=mops dorm 4=laundry
43 Discussing investments and savings tips
44 Gutting fish for snack
45 Hitting frogs from a bucket for stew with mallets
46 Carving pumpkin lanterns to scare other monsters for a prank
47 Practicing latest dance moves
48 Preparing for a graffiti spree (paint, charcoal, posters, paste)
49 Trying to tempt parasite from comrades head with piece of bacon
50 Monsters confronting comrade about problem d4 1=drinking 2=not drinking 3=blasphemy 4=beserking
51 Testing home remedies for worms on comrade
52 Fighting over candy
53 Playing handball
54 Holy man warning about VD
55 Shaving a comatose drunk buddy
56 Sharing tips on love making
57 Helping junior compose love poem
58 Building a scale model
59 Drawing on walls with charcoal
60 Making a slug smoothie
61 Watching monkey trainers adult only show
62 Running a sly casino
63 Running a sly grog shop
64 Selling stolen goods
65 Selling drugs
66 Selling stolen wheels and animals
67 Rat racing for money in a maze
68 Viewing erotic prints from city
69 Having a grog and cheese tasting party
70 Monsters copying letter on chalkboard, scenting with perfume and applying lipstick kisses for love letter scam
71 Having a seance to talk to dead buddy
72 Worshiping ancestral spirits
73 Crab racing for money
74 Licking toads, frogs, newts and salamanders for best high
75 Riding a greased pig contest
76 Trading rude shaped vegetables or fungi for collections
77 Watching puppet or ventriloquist show
78 Wondering what to do with boxed nest of angry wasps
79 Bee keepers club working on hives before taking back outside
80 Training flea circus and dreaming of touring the continent
81 Amputating a comrades limb
82 Treating comrades VD with mercury
83 Quarantined with plague
84 Testing mystery potions on new recruit
85 Bring your kids to work day
86 Making fake healing potions to replace dungeon supplies and sell for quick cash
87 Discussing how to make the dungeon better for everyone
88 Discussing if new spell caster better than old one or not
89 Talking about body building secrets
90 Talking abut treasures they have lost from misfortune
91 Discussing how awesome it is to be the master race and wondering why other races disagree
92 Feeding pet hidden d4 1=under bed 2=in drain 3=in secret panel 4=in trunk
93 Discussing why humans are murder hobo jerks and assume monsters up to no good
94 Arguing if stone, bronze or iron is best for weapons
95 Complaining how training scenarios not simulationist enough and too much story
96 Blaming women for all their problems and whining about their pathetic failed lives
97 Talking about medical problems and how witch doctors not know anything
98 Consoling bunk mate whining why girls not like him yet again
99 Discussing how wizards & dwarves grow beards to overcompensate for small genitals
100 Discussing how to tell gender of elves and how embarrassing to get it confused

Thursday, 4 December 2014

d100 What is dungeon boss doing now?

Ok as my d100 Off Duty Monsters
was pretty popular i could probably do another one but while wandering monster guards are slacking off the boss monster has plenty to keep him busy.

Russ Nicholson is artist here and im mostly terrible at acknowleging artists or citing writers even though i am artist and a writer. Russ is probably one of visually most inspiring artists for my dungeon fantasy games.

I'm developing my blood wizard spell list with help of 9 year old girls. Working on revised A-Z dungeon key for redbrick zone. This and the d100 Off Duty Monsters are tangents of that process.

I mostly write half a table on a page of a4 graff paper on bus to work in about 15 minutes. Think about more waiting at bus and walking to work about another 25 minutes a day.

This table is handy to use if players attack the boss precinct of dungeon. Give a rough idea of where boss at any time if not alert to murder hobo raid close to him. Possibly

Once had party burst through a secret door and found bugbear boss and wife in bed passionately embracing. Party had a bugbear hoping to take over joint with them and struck king dead. Then recognised his mum. Happy times. "You mean those halflings were not my real parents?"

Old post here on more magical boss plans
http://elfmaidsandoctopi.blogspot.com.au/2013/05/the-necromancer-who-loved-me-evil-plots.html
 

More basic boss reams for middle manager monsters
http://elfmaidsandoctopi.blogspot.com.au/2013/05/the-man-with-golden-wand-boss-monster.html

d10 Quick version
1 Making legal judgements
2 Negotiations and diplomacy
3 Feasting and fellowship
4 Family Life
5 Policy and planing with advisers
6 Sports and games
7 Ceremonial and religious life
8 Relaxation and health
9 War and conflict
10 Self indulgence

d100 Boss Monster Work, Rest and Play
01 Making legal judgements over petty tribal quarrels
02 Whipping or punishing minion for some failure
03 Executing a minion for crime like treason
04 Judging minion quarrel
05 Documenting new rules
06 Distributing booty to heroes and bodyguards
07 Interrogating minions to find guilty to punish
08 Interrogating a heretic or alignment deviant with radical philosophy
09 Make minions undergo trial by ordeal
10 Banishing a former minion and stripping them of goods
11 Negotiations and diplomacy with local visiting boss monster
12 Meeting merchants or traders
13 Meeting bandits or criminal organization
14 Meeting a cult leader
15 Meeting human leader to negotiate ransom
16 Meeting spell users who wish to set up business in area
17 Trading for magic items with magician or merchant
18 Negotiating a marriage deal for offspring
19 Paying tithe to superior visiting boss monster or leader
20 Negotiating with evil humans who seek to control region
21 Feasting and fellowship with tribe to share good times or celebrating good event
22 Eating prisoner or naughty minion with bodyguards
23 Feasting with traitors and enemies so he can murder them
24 Entertaining a guest leader
25 Feasting after a magnificent hunt
26 Special holy day feast, extra jolly
27 In-laws over to freeload and gorge selves at feast
28 Witch visiting being given feast, all awkward and uncomfortable
29 Feast for magician who will be supporting tribe for a while as guest
30 Feast and monster dance party celebrating anniversary of boss rule
31 Enjoying family life with kin
32 Planning political marriage for self or child
33 Entertaining with consort
34 Passionate love making with consort
35 Spending quality time with children
36 Witnessing birth of child
37 Being nagged by wife
38 Mourning a lost minion or kinsman
39 Beating ungrateful children
40 Having adoption ceramony
41 Yearly policy and planing meeting with advisers
42 Counting treasure
43 Testing new magic items on low rank minion or prisoner
44 Talking to craftsmen about expanding dungeon and improvements
45 Commissioning artwork to celebrate rulership
46 Bossing genealogist into improving family tree
47 Discussing food stores and production
48 Discussing tribal skill shortages with advisers
49 Discussing trade shortages with advisers
50 Talks with holy folk to improve relations with dods, outer planes and elder evils
51 Sports and games with tribe competing in various events
52 Watching a pet torment minion or prisoner
53 Watching prisoners fight to death
54 Watching minions compete with weapons and unarmed combat
55 Playing chess with d4 1=spell caster 2=other boss 3=minion 4=wife
56 Gambling with d4 1=spell caster 2=other boss 3=minion 4=outer planes being
57 Demonstrating his superior combat skills on prisoners and terrified servants
58 Watching gladiators fight each other or other creatures
59 Making minion perform humiliating obstacles in fancy dress
60 Boss shooting at minions dressed crudely as birds
61 Planning ceremonial and religious event with experts
62 Talking to soothsayer or divination expert
63 Giving a stirring speech to minions
64 In prayer to gods
65 Leading community in important ceremony to gods
66 Appointing new adviser or champion or bodyguard
67 Performing sacrifice of human or beast with holy men
68 Blessing babies of community
69 Presenting minion with reward for good or long service
70 Assisting hags with fertility ceremony
71 Relaxation with a good book or admiring artwork
72 Discussing a health crisis with healers
73 Being shaved and groomed by wife and handmaidens
74 Sitting on royal chamber pot with privy councilor attending
75 Having makeup put on by servant
76 Hung over with attendant standing by with bucket
77 Being attended by healer over awful affliction
78 Receiving a massage and oiled up
79 Toothache with minions trying to remove from angry master
80 Witnessing healers trying to save kinfolk
81 Discussing possible territorial threats with war chiefs
82 Preparing raid on surface dwellers
83 Planning to catch out treasonous plotters
84 Planning lair or territory expansion
85 Planning to kill rival or upstart leader
86 Planning anti adventurer mission for elites
87 Planning war against rival monsters
88 Briefing elite squad to go on a quest
89 Torturing prisoners for information
90 Looking over territory maps with best warriors
91 Self indulgence with tasty treats
92 Abusing love slaves
93 Listening to shaman or bard epic poem
94 Getting horribly drunk or high
95 Watching jester
96 Watching acrobats
97 Watching musical performance
98 Watching love slaves perform erotic dance
99 Watching prisoner being eaten by some beast
100 Napping on throne