More Murder Hobo Sing Along

More of these
I remember i wrote a murder hobo musical in a notebook (ones of 80kg of notebooks I have since a teen). So I will look for it. Sadly I have performed with a band as Brother Bugger McNuggets of the Boulder Colarado Hollow Earth Church but not recently.

My shadelport setting is as grimy as Elizabethan England at times so these all help set the mood and I might include them in update of the Shadelport Book (see my downloads in sidebar).

Also I'm getting up on twitter, redbubble and hope to Instagram shortly as I shrug off some social media that wasn't really worth it post the G+ platform death (I used more than FB).

O'er The Dungeon Way
A warrior will take a monsters life
A thief will take their gold
A wizard just wants their magic and books
A priest wants to save their souls

A druid dwells in outdoor filth
A monk just likes to sit
A sorcerer just craves thralls
A bard wants to sing tales of shit

A elf always must look the best
A dwarf is short and squat
A halfling just wants to always eat
A gnome just wants some stilts

A kobold craves what shines
A goblin likes dirty holes
A orc just want to kill everyone
A ogre will eat what's left
 
The Adventuring Life
If you're forlorn and cursed by fate 
Adventuring life is yours to take
Or die the thrall of a better man
Live your life a slave to the land
Pack your dagger torch and pole
Grab some mates and explore a hole

Search the dark keep alert
Make sure you murder them all first
Kill the monsters chop their heads
Burn their corpses in their beds
Take the sword spill their blood
Halt the tide of evils foul flood

Dash their brains and take their cups
Smash their idols foul and squat
All the monster hoarding gold
Give it freely if dead and cold
Cut their fingers take their rings
Claim their land for the one true king(s)*

Take their treasure trick the traps 
Chase them all to hell then back
Drink some rum to make you brave
Don't kill em all sell some as slaves
Counting the silver then tales told
Lies grow larger as you get old

Catch the monster take his life
Ignore cries of child and wife 
Fill wagons with the dead
Spared orphans need to be fed
Monsters are left and outlaws have gone
When settlers come I'll move along

*Treasonous rebels say Kings plural to mock the institution of the state. Dynastic struggles are not talked about or mocked. Long ago one king ordered death to say kings but it was one of those laws forgotten about

Humans are the best
A dwarf has a short and hairy one
A elfs is limp and thin
A halflings is half as long 
But a humans is the best

A goblins is the smelliest
An orcs is covered in warts
A big bugbears is barbed on the end
But a humans is the best

A dragons is too dangerous
A giants is too big
A frogman he has none at all
But a humans is the best

A basilisks will turn a maid to stone
A salamander is on fire
A incubus member has a price to pay
But a humans is the best

A manticores is the mankiest
A satyrs is slathered in sores
A vampires takes more than it gives
But a humans is the best

A zombie cannot always rise
A skeleton has no bone
A spectre is insubstantial
But a humans is the best

A werewolfs works but once a month
A troll is wider than long
An octopus uses one of his legs
But a humans is the best

O''r the dungeon way

a warri'r shall taketh a monst'rs life

a cut-purse shall taketh their gold

a wizard just wanteth their charm and books

a augurer wanteth to saveth their souls

a druid dwells in outdo'r filth

a monk just likes to sitteth

a s'rc'r'r just craves thralls

a bard wanteth to singeth tales of the horror

a elf at each moment might not but behold the most wondrous

a dwarf is sh'rt and squat

a halfling just wanteth to at each moment consume

a gnome just wanteth some stilts

a kobold craves what shines

a goblin likes filthy holes

a 'rc just wanteth to killeth ev'ryone

a ogre shall consume what's hath left

 

The adventuring life

if 't be true thou art f'rl'rn and curs'd by fate 

adventuring life is yours to taketh

or die the thrall of a bett'r sir

liveth thy life a slave to the landeth

packeth thy dagg'r t'rch and pole

grabeth some mates and expl're a hole

searcheth the dark keepeth al'rt

maketh sure thee murd'r those folk all first

killeth the monst'rs chopeth their heads

burneth their c'rpses in their beds

taketh the sw'rd spilleth their blood

halt the tide of evils foul flote

dash their brains and taketh their cups

smasheth their idols foul and squat

all the monst'r hoarding gold

giveth t freely if 't be true dead and bitter cold

cutteth their fing'rs taketh their rings

claimeth their landeth f'r the one true king(s)*

taketh their treasure dissemble the traps 

chaseth those folk all to hell then backeth

drinketh some rum to maketh thee brave

killeth not em all selleth some as slaves

counting the silv'r then tales toldeth

lies groweth larg'r as thee receiveth fusty

catcheth the monst'r taketh his life

ign're cries of issue and jointress 

filleth wagons with the dead

spar'd 'rphans needeth to beest did feed

monst'rs art hath left and outlaws has't gone

at which hour settl'rs cometh i'm moving 'long

Humans art the most wondrous (possibly a better title)

a dwarf hast a sh'rt and hairy one

a elfs is limp and thin

a halflings is half as longeth 

but a humans is the most wondrous

a goblins is smelliest

an 'rcs is cov'r'd in warts

a big bugbears is barb'd on the endeth

but a humans is the most wondrous

a dragons is too dang'rous

a giants is to big

a frogman that gent hast none at all

but a humans is the most wondrous

a baslisks shall turneth a maid to stone

a salamand'r is on fireth

a incubus memb'r hast a price to payeth

but a humans is the most wondrous

a carrion cannot at each moment riseth

a skeleton hast nay bone

a spectre is insubstantial

but a humans is the most wondrous

A mantic'res is the mankiest

a satyrs is slath'r'd in s'res

a vampires doth take m're than t gives

but a humans is the most wondrous

a w'rewolfs w'rks once a month

a troll is wid'r than longeth

an octopus uses one of his legs

but a humans is the most wondrous

New light on Australian Aboriginal Civilisation

Labelling Aboriginal communities as 'nomadic' allowed early settlers to justify the takeover of traditional lands claiming that they were not inhabited by permanent residents.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indigenous_architecture

Quotes from review of this book below
https://www.allenandunwin.com/browse/books/general-books/history/The-Biggest-Estate-on-Earth-Bill-Gammage-9781743311325

"The Aborigines farmed as an activity rather than a lifestyle. They grew crops of tubers such as yams, grain such as native millet, macadamia nuts, fruits and berries. People reared dingoes, possums, emus and cassowaries, moved caterpillars to new breeding areas and carried fish stock across country.

They knew that kangaroos preferred short grass, native bees preferred desert bloodwood, koalas tall eucalyptus and rock wallabies thick growth. The Aborigines set templates to suit land, plants and animals. Explorers such as Eyre, Mitchell and Leichhardt noted how indigenous Australians fired grass to bring on short green pick to attract kangaroos and other animals. To do this they had to make sure the grass was nutritious and to provide shelter so that the kangaroos would not feel vulnerable.

There is no such thing as pristine wilderness in Australia. More trees grow in areas now known as national parks than did in 1788."

"The Aborigines of 1788 could not have survived recent bushfires that killed dozens of Australians and destroyed houses, flora and fauna. Uncontrolled fire could wipe out Aboriginal food. People had to prevent it or die. They worked hard to make fire work for them. They burnt off in patches, knowing the sensitivities of different plant species and that timing was crucial. Evidence strongly suggests that no devastating fires occurred"

Evidence of widespread tilled soil and cropping

lots of research on pre white agriculture in Australia pdf
https://www.abc.net.au/.../rethinking-indigenous.../5452454

more on farming here
https://www.farmingsecrets.com/bogan-pick-proves-tilling.../

this book is a big deal - have reeased a kids education version toohttps://www.foreground.com.au/environment/decolonising-agriculture-bruce-pascoes-dark-emu/
Evidence of architecturescale agriculture, stone foundations, fish and eel traps, stone circlesplenty of pictures online and description from first explorers if you look onlinestyles vary regionally
good document from state of Victoria of fish traps, circles and housing
https://w.www.vic.gov.au/.../Stone-Structures-in...

book on aboriginal building here
https://australianarchaeologicalassociation.com.au/...

Solo session with kobolds

So alone on a friday night waiting to see friend on lateshift.

So rolled up party of 5 for my EMO homebrew and sent from Tinvale near Sour Hill to explore random kobold mines.Im using stuff from recent blogs, a unreleased 3fold and dungeon zine #14 on my patreon currently.

So I don't want to name them till they get to first level.
Solo stuff is always dangerous.

So made these guys:
Elf - average with low vigor so will rely on arrows and spells and spotting stuff
Fighter - average with good agility lots of armour and good with a sword
Cleric - above average agility and will and first aid specialty
Dwarf - strong with good vigor, the party HP tank
Thief - has best stats of all with three +1 bonus stats wow!

Worked well and will try again. Geomorphs about 3cm square so fit in my wallet. Printed 2 sheets to a4. Were done hastily so a few bugs. When i do my sewer ones will be more careful.

Im using these d6 table I should probably feature in my books

d6 Room Contents
1 Trap

2 Trap + Decor

3 Decor

4 Monster + Decor

5 Monster + Treasure

6 Empty - 1in6 chance of a special location

d6 special Location
1 Prisoner in cell or chains
2 Strange Feature
3 Magic Area - temple or wizard
4 Locked Armoury + Monsters
5 Locked Treasury Trap + Monsters + d3 Treasure 
6 Boss Throne Room

d6 Strange Feature
1 Curse
2 Magic Fountain
3 Illusion
4 Magic Trap
5 Sealed Tomb with undead + treasure
6 Misdirection 

d6 Misdirection 
1 Secret door
2 Secret panel + treasure
3 Teleporter
4 Disorientating mist
5 Entry to lower level or other dungeon
6 Rotating room

Sortie 1
So wandered about mine for a while finding some scraps like a mining helmet before found a shrieking fungus that the party killed. The thief heard kobolds miners coming and party battled 9 kobolds. As they could fit more in a corridoor they had a edge but the party had superior armour. When down to four they fled but didnt get far.

Party continued finding scraps and heard kobolds chilling between shifts. Thief sneaked in and killed one of five and fight broke out. Fighter got scratch and thief got bad cut. But kobolds had chest of gold!

Found some lamps and went through more rooms til a green slime guardian dropped on dwarf. Party burned it off in time but his plate armour ruined with just padding remaining.

Wary of moving on but went anyway came into a bat filled cave. Dwarf didnt note danger and swarmp panicked chomping at everyone wearing party down. Thief fell first, then elf then fighter and cleric. Dwarf drove them off,  stripped party metal armour and weapons and dragged them out unmolested into a abandoned wolf hole. After days hidden thief recovered and others got better except the sickly elf in a coma unable to recover without a healer. After several days two wolves attacked and thief fell and dwarf killed one and drove other off. More days passed and cleric anf fighter recovered. Priest easily accelerated party recovery and they fled back to Tinvale.

Sortie 2
Everyone but thief now in chain as they couldn't replace plate party left in dungeon so overall a loss but 100gp in the kitty. Thief spotted a portcullis trap and deactivated it. Elf spotted piercers and mining tools and party went another way. Thief heard some kobold chatter and investigated and stumbled on a kobold priest and two servants. As they saw him but were stunned he lashed at them stabbing priest and called for help. Party poured in surrounding them. None of them hit and the dwarf got a cut. Kobold priest cast hold person and all failed to resist so elf used her sleep spell and cut their throats. Party recovered and dwarf got some medical aid.

Wandered about and thief found a grenade trap. Took grenaide and found cave with carpentry tools. On investigation a fearsome molebear erupted from the soil expecting a snack size kobold. Cleric healed the dwarf and the elf put a strength cantrip on the fighter. Dwarf and fighter badly hurt mole bear and it tried to flee only being a young one but thief killed it before it could burrow away. Skinned it and stripped it of meat and party pleased even though biggest healing spell used up.

Found a mining cart of rubble with a scythe trap. Wandered about more finding a dead kobold and avoiding green slime. Thief wounded by a flaming oil trap and stable but unconscious so party decided to flee. On way towards exit came across kobolds guarding a medical chest. Both were startled and attacked. Kobolds defeated but fighter survived 3 hits and dwarf badly hurt. Elf was hurt and had to fight unarmed when kobold closed her with her bow and she punched it three times to win. Party took locked chest and ran back to Tinvale unharmed. When Thief recovered he picked the lock to find a kobold healing potion.

Party at a net loss still from losing fortune in armour but healing potion and a grenade always nice. Ended first session.

Sortie 3
Entered a new kobold hole. Avoided a diseased foot spike then a gas trap. Thief tried to get the gas bomb and failed but got away. Found various mining scraps and avoided several green slimes. Found kobolds working and one had a plan of the mines. Thief tried to get them  failed and kobolds all attacked. Everyone wounded o elf cast sleep and party fled.

Sortie 4
Returned with map aiming to kill the boss in throne room using map. Came across 5 workers and thief failed to surprise but threw a grenaide badly. Whole party wounded, kobolds mostly killed and thief unconcious. One kobold fled screaming so party fled.

Sortie 5
Everyone was healed and returned days later determined to hit king kobolds lair with the map. Went deep inside but spotted 3 hungry stirges they easily defeated.  Found 3 guard dogs and defeated with only a few nips.

Finally found the kobold king lair and thief went in. He was talking to his priest and petting two dogs. Got close to king but a dog yapped and thief killed it. Elf shot the priest and the kobold priest blasted the party thief knocking him out and leaving him bleeding. The king threw a net on the party cleric entangling him as dwarf attacked the king. The fighter stopped to help the cleric free himself from the net. The kobold priest threw a fire bomb at the elf taking her out. The fighter ans priest attacked the kobold priest bringing him down as the dwarf and king battled till the kobold king died. While dwarf grabbed the crown, the others helped the dying elf and thief and grabbed a few hundred silver. Party fled back to tinvale still at a loss but with experience.

Wrap up
So leveled them up gave names and used my alignment reward/oaths tales on them
Elf - Cordelia, Chaos+1 cheats all contests for Identify spell
Fighter - Gareth Knorr, Law+1 never ambushes for a +1 sword
Cleric - Simon Slatterby, avoids killing for +1 mace
Dwarf - Korg Casio, Good+1 Seeks marriage and children for +1 axe
Thief - Klaus Lieber, Chaos+1 Drinks every day for extra shot skill for dagger

More Filthy Kobold Scum

So printed out and played with geomorphs. Needed some more straight surface points. Might make some sewer ones in cyan soon.

Some tables to pad out my recent kobold antics.

d12 What are Kobolds here up to...
1 Miners at work - will attack with tools

2 Workers sleeping - if awaken will flee

3 Warriors training - will attack

4 Guards on duty - will attack

5 Cooking a meal - surrender and offer food

6 Looking after babies - flee leaving children behind

7 Elder telling stories - flee leaving children and elders behind

8 Having a drunken party - some flee some drunkenly fight

9 Crafting goods - will attack with tools

10 Hunters - will try and ambush or fight

11 Skinning a monster (carrion crawler?) - will attack

12 Playing with pet dogs - will attack

d12 Kobolds decor
1 Circle of rocks 
2 Pile of various bones

3 Midden heap of food scraps

4 Carrion crawler skin on wall
5 Collection of pottery urns 

6 Drawings on wall of kobolds hunting

7 Pile of kobold feces

8 Kobold children's crude dolls

9 Piles of slag from smelting metal

10 Mining tools

11 Pile of kobold teeth they constantly replace

12 Sacks of preserved food

More Copper Hill Kobolds

So some more of these geomorphs so I can run big kobold crawls. I like idea of letting people get deep inside with little trouble but signs of habitation, candles and warm food about. Then they stumble on kobolds in worship who are outraged at defilers on high holy day then players running and trying to find way out. Pick off lots of followers on the way. Kobolds might be willing to seal some entries from outside as they have time and man power to reset or dig new ones.

Might cut up a set ready to use soon I hope...

Oh and here some more kobold appearance....

d12 Kobold Appearance
1 Covered in scars from battle or accidents

2 Has a missing eye

3 Plump and dislikes running fast

4 Scrawny and desperate for food

5 Old timer missing some teeth and wrinkly

6 Young and naive

7 Wears clothes

8 Wears harness with tools

9 Has tattoos

10 Overconfident

11 Has skin disease

12 Drools and brain damaged

kobold workers use tools as weapons d4
warriors use proper weapons for a d6
low tech kobolds use stone tools and shamanism,
average tech kobolds use tin copper bronze iron and holy magic
advanced kobolds use steel, gunpowder, crossbows, alchemy and wizardry

most kobolds have single d4 HD
veteran have 2d4
elites have 3d4
heroes have 4d4
king kobold has 6d6
each extra HD above first gets to roll a mutation or hero feature
king kobold has one king feature and d3 hero features or mutations, granted by the kobold gods and has gold crown worth 2d4x100gp
mutants mostly lower status but church protects them

d12 Mutant Kobold Freaks
1 Two headed or siamese twin one always awake

2 Abnormally tall has 2d4 HD

3 Abnormally short only a foot tall but sneaky

4 Claws and teeth d3 unarmed attack

5 Berserk, fights till -10 HP +1 hit and damage

6 Bulging cranium has ESP once day

7 Crab claws or hook hands d4 unarmed

8 Centaur like but lower body of dog, 2d4 HD move +25%

9 Can smell metal, never surprised if foe has metal

10 Immune to fire, often uses burning oil

11 Explodes on death as grenade 2d4 to 10 foot square save halves

12 Eyes like burning coals 1HP dam if stares at you for round or can light a fire

d12 Kobold Hero Features
1 Wears chainmail

2 Very strong +2 hit and damage

3 Uses big d8 weapon with both hands

4 Sneaks and hides as well as thief

5 Expert archer +1 hit & damage, extra shot per round

6 Knows a d4 level zero spell cantrips

7 Uses poison on weapons +2 save +2d4 damage

8 Has d4 pet dogs 5 HP d6 bite

9 Carries d4 incendiaries or grenades and flints

10 Expert net thrower +1 to hit

11 Can throw 2x d6 damage hand axes a round

12 Carries a 2d4 HP healing potion

d12 King Kobold Special Feature
1 Is a 4th level spell caster

2 Regenerates wounds 1hp/round except fire or acid

3 Has a magic weapon +1

4 Immune to sleep or charm spells

5 Kobolds are fearless in presence

6 Spit a 4d6 fireball three times a day

7 Kobold god teleports away if unconscious

8 Kobold god curses any involved in killing king

9 Only harmed by magic, tin or bronze weapons

10 Can turn into a dog and back at will with possessions

11 Has extra melee attack per round

12 Huge muscular body +3 strength and damage

d12 King Kobold Special Guards & Pets
1 Rust monster

2 A dozen fanatic veterans

3 Four loyal elite kobolds

4 Two heroes

5 4th level kobold wizard

6 4th level kobold priest

7 Four loyal dog folk warriors

8 Dozen suicide bombers with incendiary or grenade

9  A dozen loyal dogs

10 Hell hound

11 Fire Toad

12 Imp

Copper Hill Kobold Geomorphs

I did a copper hill kobold dungeon and 3fold for my patreon and forgot I had made these. Could probably do more for exploring miles of empty tin mines the kobolds have inhabited. What do you think? I could do few more....

Working on d100 bond villains and and evil pocket dimension generation as per requested by reader on mewe (generally I see less nazis than FB gardening groups). 

3Fold Progress

Been doing lots of these and getting better and faster. Have some proofers helping to speed up and get my sperrin and gramma better up.

So this is ones in some stage of production and I will put up as a page and update
Will start getting public soon after my homework and prep done.....

3folds
Series A Guide Threefold Land - draft here
Map, brief history and wilderness hexcrawl that links the series
Vol1 Terror of the Frog Cult  - free soon & on Patreon now
A swamp lair of a vile frog cult
Vol2 Beast of Velborton - live on Patreon
A strange beast has been snuffling about the village by night
Vol3 Griffons Gold - live on Patreon
A shiny treasure on glitter mountain shines every noon
Vol4 Black Hill Devil - live on Patreon
A  mine has accidentally opened a vault imprisoning a devil
Vol5 Secret of Granny's Hole -  live on Patreon
A strange slimy hole has opened in Granny's bottom garden
Vol6 Dragon Makers Tears -  live on PatreonAn alchemist needs adventurers to kill the thing eating his dragons 
Vol7 Witch of the Woods -  live on PatreonA witch cult in the north are menacing the region
Vol8 Frog Hall Church - done 
Secret of Southmoor Hall, frogs have taken over the ruins!
Vol9The Haunted Hall - done
Secret of Northmoor Hall, see the ghosts of the north

Vol10 Tale of Two Taverns - done
The Royal Coach House and Pig's Eye Tavern of Velborton

Will be in bundle with extra content



SeriesB Guide Exilon - draft available
Map, gods, scribe arts, cities, creatures of the Exilon setting
Vol11 Desert Demons  - done
An ancient cursed ruin is uncovered after a sandstorm
Vol12 Well of Souls  - done
In a ruined city used as a brick mine, a ancient grave pit is discovered  
Vol13 Treasure Pits of  - done
A famous tomb robber has found something strange in the rubble
Vol14 Gold of the Fish God  - done
A fish folk temple in the marsh is spreading corruption
Vol15 Rage of the River  - done
Something is sabotaging a new royal monument
Vol16 Lion Temple - done
A fallen Ishtar temple over run by chaos
Vol17 Gateway Bazaar 
A market place to recycle across Exilon
Vol18 Lost Library of Enki - done
A library hidden from fish folk long ago has been discovered
Vol19  Forgotten Rules
A vast ruined city - done
Vol20 Meet your Gods
Visit the Island of Paradise

Will be in bundle with extra content



SeriesC Guide Planet Psychon - draft copy
Map, gods, history, creatures and conversion notes of the Psychon setting
Vol21 Tower of the Gods -  live on Patreon
Skyscaper generators for apocalyptic ruincrawls
Vol22 Bunkers Below - done
Four common micro bunkers and generator tables for small shelters
Vol23 The Sky Has Fallen - done
A large scale bunker with generators fur ruined shelters and sealed communities
Vol24 The Garden of Pleasure - done
A underground pleasure pod 9 with generators for dystopian paradises
Vol25 Submall Terror - mostly done
Subtereanean tube station generators 
Vol26 Black Lab - done
Research enclave of the ancients
Vol27 Micromart Murdermall - done
Police Station generators
Vol28 Killer Cop Shop - done
 police station
Vol29 Schools Out
A educational complex overun by savages???
Vol30 Clinic
A medical complex, highly sought after by explorers???

Will be in bundle with extra content 

SeriesD Guide Sour Hill - draft here
Map, brief history and wilderness hexcrawl that links the series
Vol1 The Fall of Sour Hill - done
A city in decline full of cultists and murder hobos
Vol2 The Terror of  - done
Tin hills area with scar hall and tinvale
Vol3 Horror in Hobbsville - done
A cult village
Vol4  Trek to Ice Mountain
Hexcrawl to find ruined glacial city of prehistoric wizards
Vol5 Castaways at Crabapple Cove
 Former seaside village now choked inland a mile from shore
Vol6  Secret of Seagrave
A former pleasure house of the nobility now overrun by monsters
Vol7 Barrows of the North
Barbarian haunted graves and monuments bull of fabulous treasure
Vol8  Rotten in Runtly
A former vice town now a ghost town
Vol9 Squidgate
Find the secret of Seagrave, then get out alive
Vol10 Thing from the Moors
Secret of Eastmoor Hall

Will be in bundle with extra content



Possible 3Fold Series
Shadelport streets series
Shadelport locations
Underland
Psychon II
- Vault of Aeons
- Prehistoric Park 
- Citadel of Zod
- Satelite in Heaven
- Purple Dome
Xor Series
Superhero Series
Village Series
Vikings/Egypt

d100 Stuff My Kenku Says

Best thing in 5th ed is Tengu. My current black dragon charletan coward sorcerer Tengu has a great time eating eyeballs, saying awkward things and otherwise being a jerk. As ppl insisted I play by book and talk only using quotes I started noting every interesting phraze in game. So as I'm away next game I made this table to replace me. Kinda makes my skills in communications hard. Added some phrases to sell my fake potions from my background. Have been carrying eggs found around 3 sessions. Others wanted to eat my eggs which is horrific and evil. Egg eating monkey bastards. Eating babies is revolting. Anyway hoping my eggs hatch soon.

d100 Phrases My Kenku Heard

01 Ride me daddy
02 Took my coconuts
03 Sodomy
04 Piss in my skull
05 Piece of shit Drow
06 No lawyers on ship
07 Im on way out
08 Get out
09 What the fek
10 My Kindred
11 Killed you
12 Slap the bar
13 Shut your holes
14 Choke on the bar
15 Shank him
16 The pain
17 More hands
18 Loose change
19 Whiskey on the ship
20 Loose change
21 Humans different size
22 Come with pants
23 Bottoms as well
24 Better at fingering
25 I wanted to f*cking live
26 Look in the sack
27 Pigs can't fly
28 This isn't funny
29 This isn't funny
30 How many can I fit in my mouth
31 Grab it in the tongue
32 We need to make shelter
33 Need medicine
34 Go check them out
35 If you do that again I will kill you
36 Your a liar
37 Go get them
38 Wanna be friends
39 Slave with benefits
40 You need to get yourself some new material
41 Shit what happened to elf
42 Devils anus
43 Rift sounds hilarious
44 Follow us
45 Bong Bong (elf village danger bell)
46 Yodelaheehoo
47 Exploding toad 
48 Cant you see the hilarity
49 He stepped into my blade
50 Gets nasty when it's dark
51 Take the point
52 Orgy
53 Booby traps
54 Acid
55 Bugger
56 Reach around
57 Double magic loot
58 Magic item
59 Nobody
60 Cant kill a dancing man
61 Escaped
62 Made a hole
63 No pants
64 Taken prisoner by elves
65 Good friends
66 Danger Danger
67 Tame scrag
68 Sleep
69 Magic missile
70 Arse
71 Cures baldness
72 Wanna buy a potion
73 Buy now crazy prices
74 Magic medicine show
75 Roll up roll up
76 Cure all diseases
77 Make your sweetheart love you back
78 Buy a potion buy a potion
79 Makes you less ugly
80 Trust me
81 Low low prices
82 Two for price of one
83 Barley addictive
84 Delicious flavours
85 No unwanted side effects
86 Results guaranteed
87 Makes you twice as pretty
88 Cures all ailments
89 Lasts all night long
90 Improves love life
91 Cures alcoholism, drug addiction and lusty thoughts
92 Yes I am a doctor
93 Not a comman not a conman
94 Honestly
95 Nevermore nevermore
96 I cannot tell a lie
97 You can trust me
98 Cures all ills
99 Takes a few days to work
100 You might need a double dose

Terrible Campaign Ideas:Hotrods to the Hollow Earth

Planet Psychon Book has been a big success with lots of new readers, some good comments and offers of support to expand the project. Have learned that trying to edit my stuff just kills my urge to write and after 4 days editing i couldn't write for seven days. kinda kicking in now.

So this is a setting i could bolt on to a couple of my settings. Its a bit like carcosa wacky racers some guys ran a few years ago in G+/Blogland or at least as I saw it from titbits on threads.

Hotrods to the Hollow Earth
Players must race via secret hidden highways to the hollow earth. On the way they find lost cities, ruins, civilizations, races and other strangeness. First car to the hollow earth wins. Various teams struggle in the journey representing various factions. Possibly get to have car vs dino or car vs worm or car vs vehicles of various civilizations.

Roadwar or Kaiju Game or Pulp Cthulhu or Super Heroes
The highway is a multidimensional corridor system that accesses furious lost worlds, cities and ruins. The highway was built with alien space warping technology and employed by Atlanteans, Lemurians, Leng and other ancient civilizations and prehuman alien races. Toy cars and dinosaurs with minis are a bonus of this sort of game.

Planet Psychon
There is literally remains of global vacuum tube system which connects great shelters, ruined cities and citadels. There are many great refuges or arc bunkers or vults under the earth you can reach by the remains of  ancient highways and tube tunnels. There were teleporter tunnels that jumped people around the world but the status of these is uncertain. possibly better vehicles rules would help.

Sub Compact HD 4 Sedan HD 6 Station Waggon or SUV 8 HD

Tables to build the universe with

d10 Road Type
1 Rough cavern tunnel fits one car width2 Rough cavern tunnel fits two cars width3 Rough cavern tunnel fits one car width
4 Old mine tunnel with fits one car width
5 Old mine tunnel with fits two car width
6 Broken ruined ancient concrete tunnel one lane7 Broken ruined ancient concrete tunnel two lane8 Broken ruined ancient concrete tunnel four lane9 Broken huge sub train tube tunnel of former vac-tube train 4 lanes
10 Colossal concrete tunnel with a special feature

d10 Road Condition
1 Blockage every hour travel requires rubble to be moved

2 Blockage every day travel requires rubble to be moved

3 Rough and broken off road terrain -4/20% Drive

4 Rough and broken off road terrain  -2/10% Drive

5 Difficult condition drive roll every hour 

6 Difficult condition drive roll per day

7 Hazard blocks the passage

8 Road is rough but good condition -1/-5% Drive

9 Road is in good condition

10 Road is self repairing and in perfect condition +2/10% Drive

d10 Hazards
1 Hostile inhabitant camp

2 Monster lair

3 Chasm over flowing water

4 Chasm over flowing lava

5 Chasm over great pit

6 Tar pit with prehistoric corpses

7 Area frozen with ice

8 Area flooded

9 Ancient dead come to life to feed

10 Swarm of bats or pterodactyls or birds or bugs or rats

d10 Built Features
1 A great cistern with dam and huge turbines

2 A advanced technological utopian city

3 A bronze aged city

4 A great survival vault

5 Huge geothermal complex

6 Industrial complex

7 Complex for degenerate workers to live and labour

8 Sprawling ruins of a civilization

9 Ancient mine remains

10 Science complex

d10 Cavern Features
1 Burning lave of fire, sulpher

2 Ruins of some lost civilization possibly with degenerate survivors

3 Built structure or entry to some vault

4 Sleeping Kaiju or elder god waiting for the right time to awaken

5 Dim Cave with degenerate cave adapted mutants

6 Giant crystal zone with geysers, geothermal steam and mineral deposits

7 Fungus forrest rich with life

8 A great subterranean sea

9 Artificial lit cave with ice caves and Ice age mammals
10 Artificial lit cave with jungle and dinosaurs

d20 Peoples of the Hollow World
1 Ancient Egyptians

2 Ancient Hittites

3 Ancient Cretans

4 Ancient Akkadians

5 Ancient Elamites

6 Ancient Indians

7 Ancient Aztechs

8 Ancient Inuit

9 Ancient Mongolians

10 Ancient Tibetans

11 Atlanteans

12 Lemuians

13 Mutants

14 Batmen

15 Reptilians

16 Grey Aliens

17 Apemen

18 Lamprey men

19 Fish men

20 Ratmen

d10 Local Cult Powers
1 Psionics
2 Mutations
3 Elder gods
4 Patron god
5 Druids or nature cult
6 Ancestral cult
7 Beast cult
8 Elemental cult
9 Wizard sect
10 Super science