d100 Village Idiots

Idiots are loved by locals and it is bad luck for community not to have one. In big comunities Idiots might meet in a idiot guild with galleries for public to watch. Idiots often compete to be the over idiot or whatever the local title is. Idiots will competitively battle to see who will be the official local idiot. When many idiots meet in a village for a regional idiot bout the locals have a holiday to celebrate and all gather to watch. Imagine a murder mystery in a idiot competition. Of course there are stories about a whole village of just idiots. Some larger towns keep idiots locked up and charge admission. Circuses often steal idiots for freak shows and clowns.

I have tried to make these gender neutral - idiots don't discriminate neither should you.

Sometimes a idiot claiming to have been something great once are true. Possibly they are just cursed.

d10 Quick Idiot Ability
Most idiots can talk a but many who can are mad, the rest roll here

1 Clueless makes strange noises
2 Mute and stupid
3 Mute but quite smart
4 Makes sign language and noises
5 Can say name mostly
6 Only talks in secret actually smart
7 Smart but cant talk or gesture very well
8 Speech is slow and possibly other impediments
9 Speaks own made up language
10 Frustrated by inability to communicate so avoids

d20 Quick idiot Gimmick
1 Idiot has a pet, possibly on a leas or in pocket
2 Idiot carries a doll and often takes it's advice
3 Idiot is secretly a clueless accidental murderer
4 Idiot has a spectacular colorful hut
5 Idiot is deeply religious with a holy symbol
6 Idiot has witnessed a terrible thing and nobody believes them
7 Idiot wears strange intricate costume made from discarded crap
8 Idiot wary of many rival idiots, wary might enter village in disguise
9 Idiot is used to getting coins and food scraps from strangers
10 Idiot has sudden desire to become a murder hobo or tomb robber
11 Idiot has saved every coin ever given in his treasure heap
12 Idiot has a curable illness and will follow any who aid them
13 Idiot feeling romantic towards next attractive adventurer met
14 Idiot battle about to start, locals exited, contenders show off
15 Idiot can cast a single spell or several cantrips
16 Idiot has a character class and is quite competent
17 Idiot loved by the gods and incredibly lucky making all save throws
18 Idiot has a magic trinket which might use or just show to a new friend
19 Idiot is a spy d4 1=foreign agent 2=nonhuman 3=local lords agent 4=church
20 Idiot so loved locals form a mob if idiot hurt or threatened

 D100 Village Idiots
1 Gumbo Shanks like to sit on fences and walls and fall off when waving to passers by
2 Rollo Bungnail likes to roll in mud and sleep with hogs and runs around squealing
3 Habbo Lumpfinger likes to rescue baby birds and return them to trees, often asks for help
4 Miklav Trondhal likes to crawl under tables and hears many plots and gossip
5 Zanitlar Bumpclod talks to horses and dogs and welcomes them entering the village
6 Tuplit Gumblebroth likes to sample weeds and bugs and cook surprises for new friends
7 Callic Plumbrand likes fire but is not allowed to make his own so follows strangers about
8 Kabie Rumpledump collects string and rags and makes ugly but functional clothes
9 Strottie Lumphead has a bloated forehead and ugly teeth. Scared of bees and wasps
10 Arkan Stoatwrangler has pet weasels and hunts rabbits, weasels live in pants
11 Mublik Rumblebottom a flatulent idiot who lives off beans and boiled eggs
12 Fimbal Jizzwhistle likes to play his tin whistle and likes to ineptly repair rooves
13 Cambul Clubfoot like to dance and entertains locals for feed
14 Dobie Scrubpox has hideous running sores and giggles constantly
15 Flirty Droppants likes to strip in middle of village if attractive strangers pass through
16 Holy Dumpsack likes to talk gibberish thinking can speak in tongues
17 Morty Badhat likes to dig up skeletons and talks to skull collection
18 Zippidy Bogflax is a pinheaded freak looking for another pinhead to marry
19 Syban Trotterfriend is huge fleshy person with a piggy snout who likes tablescraps
20 Zodan Beetlevomit lives off bugs but occasionally something makes them sick everywhere
21 Tripebun Grottlesnatch will do anything for a tripe bun even go in a dungeon first
22 Snortrip Calzoon constantly has a running nose and sneezes, gets snot on everything
23 Fuzwrangle Headglitch has huge beard and small animals live in it
24 Turgid Waxhand sells candles made from his own earwax with nose hair wicks
25 Zotty Trudfungler runs around announcing imminent attack which locals ignore
26 Burnie Toadlick likes to lick poor amphibians and is often found a drooling heap or blind
27 Nanni Piglips likes to kiss visitors which locals say gives good luck
28 Barogi Titvomit eats tiny birds but vomits up feathers if strangers nearby
29 Moxi Catstrangler chases local cats who are wary but moxi asks visitors if they have any cats
30 Blibbloop Crabpants claims they commune with lobster goddess and rants about her constantly
31 Toxi Smellpie steals pies they detect by smell alone, likes to trap animals to put in pies
32 Jinny Crowfoot hobbles about giving weird gazes and unsettling looks, mob thinks it is evil eye
33 Aleph Tonsiltrip staggers about drooling and falling over, likes to kiss sheep
34 Ezrod Clapdung likes to throw cow poop at strangers and build sculptures from excrement
35 Plugnut Lumpface has a hideously deformed face with with a huge grin
36 Johnny&Jenny Applesauce Siamese twins separated by doctor, creepily offer applesauce
37 Hazzle Pithole found albino child talks about impossible life in the underland with the wee folk
38 Chicken chasing charlie who pilfers poultry and takes them to his cave where he treats like family
39 Hazma Scratchdingle follows people about and touches self  inappropriately if mums not around
40 Manky Sumpdoll wears filthy swamp stench clothes, even has moss growing on clothes
41 Stinky Cogwizzle bathes in dirt and vinegar, does things opposite, claims fell through a mirror

42 Grongo Punteat likes to carry stuff and locals exploit and fight over Grongo who is simple
43 Finna Cankudder stares into the distance concerned that the end of the world is coming soon
44 Grunty Bingefodder joins in local activities grunting and lolloping like a beast with a hairy face
45 Big Ducky a rogue duckman woke up here and is now living the easy life as a village idiot

46 Rubblkin Ull is a short bearded man who gruffly mends things and lives in a hole (a dwarf?)
47 Pix the sprite is a willowy androgynous idiot with sylvan good looks and likes glitter bodysuits
48 Orcface Glubthuck a hideous possibly part orc who wants to fit in but locals bully and drive mad
49 Smimax Passlehop a pinhead skipping singing lover of flowers falls in love with strangers
50 Flabbib Ponzlefunt a cheeky laughing fatty who likes food and follows strangers for snacks
51 Glibny Toadthrax a fat pimply looking bloated youth who likes to wallow in ponds and eat rats
52 Elru Bonestrum a idiot who thinks he is ancient necromancer who lost their powers
53 Barran Tondilflos a hearty laugher with a huge bushy beard hangs around carousers and pub
54 Dareenie Hamfang thinks they have a vampires curse but locals all laugh, night seals self in tomb 55 Polderglot Glossolia believes knows arcane magical lore and will share secrets with anyone
56 Cumberfax Phlemstien dresses in discarded cloths of rich, covered in snot and food, thinks is rich
57 Broobill Panwaggler runs around excitedly banging pots and making a noise at certain times of day
58 Pandertrout Mawson believes is aristocratic leader of a expedition in a far off land
59 Hrool Jinn is a self proclaimed wizard who asks passers to imagine he has awesome powers
60 Guba Hellstradler used to work for a monster hunting scientist and has retired as a idiot in country
61 Pinril Doxbeddler has delusion they are a pimp and try to rent invisible prostitutes to passers by
62 Fanrag Plagdobbler loves gossip and new and pesters everyone with questions
63 Pungwhip Stuntwobbler thinks they are a fantastic rogue acrobat who injures self performing feats
64 Yagthomp Scootieboogler has many funny walks, is accident prone and talks nonsense babble
65 Mackwump Startreddler thinks they are sheriff and adorably try to manacle strangers

66 Fragshnouz Pondstruggler likes to push people in water or even a puddle so they can laugh at them
67 Feckthang Bongdrizzle likes to sit around stoned and drunk in public, says some funny things

68 Rhadno Ebora claims strange materialist philosophy and tries to explain, most find very funny
69 Zilba Knucklewad wears a pointy hat and claims to be a master of magic, is pretty good herbalist
70 Nonhog Beetlebone dresses as a bug and thinks everyone else is part of the insect court
71 Squidface Squishington has hideous tentacle beard and lives in a well, will sing for grog
72 Hognuggle Slushface a big stupid fatty who likes to steal food and sit on people smothering them
73 Klibtillion Tubthule is a gentleman scholar who finds old junk and declares are elder age relics
74 Panthacker Glibtub sits at fire making soup or pancakes and offering miserable personal advice
75 Krillbag Dogbeak dresses as a shaggy monster with stilts and a costume, surprises adventurers
76 Zorgan the great believes he is the reborn elder demon god who ruled part of the underworld
77 Thargron Puntag believes is a subterranean humanoid and tells amazing stories of the hollow land
78 Toffee Bimblesnax dresses as rabbit and runs about giving sweet snacks to children
79 Loitar Menge thinks is a famous bounty hunter and makes own posters from interesting travellers
80 Korax Yarpnoodle a mighty hunter seeking for a creature that nobody else has ever seen
81 Zurbydee Yibzibida reports flying objects & warns church and state infiltrated by serpent men
82 Kerba Thronzip likes to balance on roofs and fences but falls often and has broken many bones
82 Tibuld Hairsniffer likes to sniff peoples belongings like saddles and collects peoples scents in jars
83 Trimesta Gorgangump advocates mixed marriages with humanoids, has posse of goblin lovers
84 Korky Fugtuggler likes to nurse wounded wild animals and uses hut as a animal hospital
85 Shanky Earspoon dresses in armour made from old pots and claims to be a paladin
86 River Quiverthigh likes to fornicate with anything they can catch, locals chain by village gate often
87 Zodra Klard believes is innovative bard, artist and tailor always pushing culture on strangers
88 Clum Chubblet is corpulently obese and needs a wheel to keep stomach off ground and move
89 Thistler Phlam believes they are a amazing hero who is battling various imaginary plots and foes
90 Blint Farcycle preaches cosmic unity and peace, lives in filthy hut drinking tea and getting stoned
91 Shindle Buttflank is afraid of fire and comes running with a bucket at slightest breach of his code
91 Binbustle Thwank believes they can talk to animals and will talk to pets and mounts of strangers
92 Sunbudle Binwax is convinced they sky will fall and spends time planting trees to hold it up
94 Womblepox Bluetit collects scraps and rubbish and has built a shack from festering crap
95 Yobyar Pussweasel collects scabs and sores and used dressings, loves adventurers
96 Mardthunk Bundlebeard invents useless heaps of crap that are mostly dangerous
97 Popopoola Brandybun likes to dress hair and make cakes, most are too flamboyant
98 Vizzy Squamula tries to sell home remedies they makes from mud and random berries
99 Pozzdike Marmud keeps bees and likes to show of their bee beard, always alert for bears
100 Camdizzle Runtfart is fascinated by wheels and balls and likes to borrow carts for daredevil feats

EMO DnD Classes pt 8: Bard

Back on character classes.

Pre-Humans:
Elves, Dwarves, Halflings and Tako (tako done but might be revamped to be compatible with current thoughts - i also saw cool other versions of octopus pcs on 2 other blogs).

Even though Id rather not have Paladins and my alignment system or rangers I should probably do them anyway just because people like them. Even my most evil player thought so. Not a fan of barbarian did consider berserkers. Names like rune-master and beast master evoke a lot to me too.

Also Psion but might just do as a alternate spell list for shaman. Also considered whole gonzo sf class list (psion, explorer,  expert, mutant, robot). A psion has a spell list stripped from others and perhaps new ones if Im bothered but will avoid duplication with new spells. But in some ways the Shaman will be similar with fetch and astral powers being compatible with psion way of seeing things. But shamen could do some strange things psions wouldn't. Joe Campbell once described yogic and meditation practices as civilized shamanism - taught en mass rather than with tribal variations.  But more to chew on.

Tertiary Classes: Paladin, Ranger, Assassin, Shaman (these would all be kinda masterclasses)

If I kept going more Id do some monster non humans 1: Goblinoids (kobold, goblin, hob goblin, bugbears).

non humans 2: Created (Orc, Mutants, Shape Shifters, Ghouls - not really thought this one out - could do Githyanki) not sure here giants and gnomes possible too. I once considered a race of imortal gender shifters like orlando. Shape shifters?

Animal folk:  Beast peoples including lizard men, goat men, reptilians, gnolls, etc. Intelligent animals like Narnia,  or were beast or animal and nature spirits like original oriental adventures. Nature spirit folk.

Too many classes are a bit silly and why I started own system was to simplify (sigh) but might make some options fun for one off characters occasionally or allow system to do SF too. Many might read some species as alternate fighters some as spell casters. Githyanki could be like elves but have psion spells.

But for now back to Basics. Bards in 1st ed were kinda unfeasible and second ed probably my favorite. I would consider some divergent powers for them but leave as this for now. I need to play test this a bit too.

For the record spell progression for my bards and elves start them with 4 cantrips only at 1st lv, always a bit behind other classes. Spell bonus from Charisma might let you cast a 1st lv spell at 1st level. Only get one new spell per level. Will put in these charts with spells later. Some bardish NWP might be needed.

Bard
Legend making performers and jacks of all trades  

HD: 1d6 Prime Stat: Cha
WP: 2 (+1/2nd Lv)
NWP: 6 (+1/ Lv) 
No-WP mod: -3
Languages: 4d4 (+1/ lv) S=spoken and W=written

Spells: Choose as priest or druid or wizard or sorcerer magic systems
NWP: Any
Shield: Buckler or small (usually hand free for instrument or torch)
Armour: Light
Weapon: Any Sword, Dagger, Club, Sling, Short Bow, any Crossbow, any Gun, Garrote, Shuriken, Dart, Whip, Net, Hatchet, Hand Axe, Lasso, Bolo, Dirk, Blowpipe, Chain, Rock, Staff,  Short Spear, Javelin, Dart, Warhammer, Hammer, Mace
Fight as: Priest
Save as: Priest

Bards are entertainers, teachers, wanderers and scholars who study many skills from many schools. Not experts at any ability they are modest fighters, secondary spell casters,  practice a wide range of skills and have additional powers based on performance. Not quite as good as a rogue without special combat abilities but bards develop faster at martial skills faster than some classes. They may select a magic spell caster style from priest or druid or wizard or sorcerer magic systems. Different cultures have different styles of bards with different magic. Bard may study magic under a practitioner of the same system of magic such as a Bard with Druidic spells could study under a Druid for new spells levels or skills. A bard may wish to be able to learn as a wizard and use their books or dont bother  and be a practitioner of sorcerery instead. A pious bard could be a ritual musician or singer from a great cathedral complex or monastery. Bards get the most languages of any class. Their singing powers grow as they raise level and if performing may improve party members abilities. As the bard grows he may open his own school and network of bards.

- Bards get +4 on any instrument NWP, +2 on any based on charisma or performance. If total NWP  score 20 the bard doesn't have to roll unless they wish to try superior rolls.
- Bards often gain superior usage from sound based magic items and magical instruments. Minimum effectiveness = levelx10%. At 15th lv becomes 150% effective minimum.
- May choose once from druid, priest, wizardry or sorcery magic systems
- Bards use spell table for elves and bards for numbers of spells
- Wizard and sorcerer types get 4 cantrips to start and a new spell each level
-A bard gets a student 1st lv bard at 6th, local fame
-7th lv a bard gets 1d4 HD of followers from random class or pets, and again every level now on
-10th when he is able to have his own bardic school or theatre and attracts 2d4 students 
-15th national fame 
-18th can establish a college or stadium with 6d4 student bards from many lands
-20th is performer of international and otherworldly fame

Spellsong
By concentrating on a performance and not fighting, allies in an increasing circle of influence gain bonuses. To start song effect must make a skill roll (dont bother if skill 20 or better). Affects a 10ft circle per level. One song per level per day. Lasts one round per level. Must specify song ability used each use for abilities gained as of 4th level - cant change song without starting a new one. Can move 1/2 speed max. Can talk to others if part of performance - sing monsters weakness for example. Silence spell will disrupt. Must be based on a performance based skill like play instrument or sing or poetry. If hit must resist with a Wis save or song ruined and stops. The songs of a bard may disrupt the song or performances, screams or howls of magical beings like banshee, sirens or undead or other bards of less HD than the bard has Lv. Eg 5th lv bard song effects abilities from 4HD or 4th lv .
1st +1 vs fear, morale, reaction rolls
2nd +1 to hit or skill
3rd +1 all saving throws
4th +1 damage (effectively +1 in fear, morale, reaction, hit, skill, saves or damage rolls)
5th Hypnosis - up to 1 HD per lv creatures stare stupidly if fail save
6th Fear - up to 1 HD per lv creatures flee stupidly if fail save, might use just for drama
7th Suggestion - up to 1 HD per lv creatures become obedient if fail save (dance, sleep, smile)
8th +2 all fear, morale, reaction, hit, skill, saves or damage rolls
9th Create legendary work once per month, popular may insult local leaders or enemies
10th Mass Charm - up to one person or creature charmed for duration per level
15th Lampoon - Up to level in Foes make Wis check or lose 1d4 Cha for a month
20th Gate - may gate in outer plane being by name once per month

Specialist Bardic Schools

Name - brief description
Cultural role
WP - Weapon Proficiencies
NWP - Non Weapon Proficiencies
Spell list
Languages

Imperial Troubadour – courtly romantic
Courtly entertainers of empire
Long Sword, Crossbow
Etiquette, Grooming, Sing, Seduce, Gossip, Play Lute, Song Lore
Wizard, Sorcerer or Priest
Empire SW, Common SW, Ancient SW, Elder W, Elvish W

Barbarian Skald – Heroic companion
Holy teachers of barbarian tribes
Hand Axe, Dagger
Drive Chariot or Ride Horse, Balance, Juggling, Tumbling, Chant, Play Bagpipes or harp or horn
Priest, Sorcerer or Bard
Old S, Common S, Druidic S, WildmanS, Northman S, Halfling, Dwarf, Elvish

Old Way Bard – Druidic song singers
Druidic students who become sacred speakers of tribes
Sabre, Dart
Memorize, Plant Lore, Animal Lore, Astrology Lore, Poetry, Harp
Sorcerer or Druid
Old S, Common S, Druidic SW, Wildman S, Northman S, Finch S, Frog S

Savage War Chanter – Tribal holy man
Fanatic chanter who guides the hunters
Short Spear, Hand Axe
Improvise Weapon, Survival, Track, Herbalist, First Aid, Play Trumpet or bagpipes or drums
Sorcerer or Druid
Old S, Common S, Druidic S, Wildman S, Northman S, Swine S, Horse S, Dog S

Zealous Demagogue – Urban agitator and power monger
Rabble rouser and trouble maker
Dagger, Light Crossbow
Orate, Observe, Kingdom Lore, Local Lore, Gossip, Taunt
Sorcerer or priest
Empire S, Common SW, Old S, Eastern S, Northman S,  Horde S

Appealing Courtesan – Mistress of men
Hired companion of men in power
Dagger, Brawling
Bluff, Seduce, Carousing, Story Telling, Dance, Sing
Sorcerer or Wizard or Priest or Druid
Empire S, Common S W, Horde S, Northmen S, Sea Tongue S, Desert Speech S

Wandering Minstrel – Traveling Court Singer
Traveler of the knightly kingdoms from court to court
Dagger, Club
Play Instrument, Sing, Espionage, Sneak, Hide, Listen
Sorcerer or Wizard
Empire S, Common SW, Old S, Eastern S, Northman S,  Horde S

Lonesome Shepherd - Herder of Beasts
Youths who guard flocks alone may become talented
Sling, Staff
Play flute or lyre or harp or panpipes, Animal Lore, Animal Mimic, Animal Husbandry, Animal Handling, First Aid
Druid or Sorceror
Empire S, Common S, Old S, Dog S,  Horde S, one her animal

Wailing Women - Chorus of professional mourners
Screaming women who haunt graves sites and funerals
Sabre, Sickle
Intimidate, Gossip, Inspire, Taunt, Chant, Sing
Sorcerer or Wizard or Priest or Druid
Empire S, Common SW, Old S, Eastern S, Northman S,  Horde S

Songsmith - Musical smiths
Craftsmen who make relics fit for the great
Any sword, hammer
Jewelry, Engrave, Sing, Weapon Smith, Blacksmith (or red/silver/gold), Endurance
Sorcerer or Wizard or Priest or Druid
Old S, Common S, Druidic S, WildmanS, Northman S, Halfling, Dwarf, Elvish

Dervish - dancing acrobatic mystics
Dedicated mystics who reach ecstatic states through dance
Dagger, Sabre
Dance, Acrobatics, Tumbling, Run away, Jumping, Chant
Any
Old S, Common S, Nomad S, Wildman S, Desert S, Snake S, Horse S, Dog S

Harlequin - comedic travelling clowns
Rustic and urban piebald clowns for the common folk
Brawling, Club
Dance, Tumbling, Juggling, Stilt walking, Taunt, Poetry
Sorcery
Old S, Common S, Empire S, Wildman S, Underland S, Magpie S,  Rat S, Cat S

BARD XP
+1 per 1gp spent on scrolls, books, carousing, finding inspiration, performances, costumes, maintaining a troupe of performers, magical jewels, clothes, instruments, parties, composing great works, printing poems
+50/lv casting spells to help victory
+100 per proficiency success that helps victory
+100 for making epic performance
Double for outperforming or dueling other bards