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Showing posts with label witches. Show all posts
Showing posts with label witches. Show all posts

Thursday, February 25, 2016

The Witch: Mining the Roots of American Horror for a Deliciously Disturbing Modern Masterpiece

Bless me Father, for I have sinned.

It has been 27 months since my last blog post. Life has gotten quite busy for ol' B-Sol, including writing gigs that pay actual money, and so the Vault has been collecting dust for quite some time. And yet, I am compelled to blow off that dust (for now, at least) and lift the lid on the Vault, thanks to a film which I can honestly say is the finest horror movie I have seen this decade thus far. Not only that, but one of the finest films of any kind that I have seen in some time. It is rare that a film like Robert Eggers' The Witch comes along, and I feel I must discuss it, in the most effective forum I have at my disposal.

As you may know, I enjoy horror movies. However, I'd be lying if I didn't admit that most horror movies are the cinematic equivalent of junk food (and I love junk food!). I love them all, but I especially cherish those that go beyond being fun horror experiences and enter the realm of being not just great horror cinema, but great cinema, period. Films like Let the Right One In, The Silence of the Lambs, The Shining, The Exorcist, Psycho, Frankenstein, etc. do more than make us jump out of our seat, and give us more than gross-outs and one-liners. They stand the test of time as pieces of art, put together by masters of the form. I believe that The Witch is one of these films, and will take its place among them. In fact, I haven't been this impressed with a horror film since Tomas Alfredson's aforementioned 2008 vampire coming-of-age fable.

I should mention that this is a review/discussion intended really for those who have already seen the film, so you spoilerphobic types should skidaddle at this point. There is much to talk about in this rich, marvelously constructed and directed motion picture, and some of it has to do with some important plot and character moments.

All the credit in the world goes to Eggers, a production and costume designer astonishingly making his feature film writing and directing debut with what feels like the work of a seasoned, insightful craftsman. He has thoroughly researched the life and beliefs of 17th century Puritan settlers not in a useless or masturbatory way, but all in the service of building a story that is like an Elizabethan-era folktale come to life. Having been fascinated with the topic myself in the past, I adored the way in which he captured that Puritan paranoia, as well as the fervent, fundamentalist Christianity that helped perpetuate a great deal of lunacy in early American times. It's like Cotton Mather's worst nightmare come to life.

One of the more fascinating things about the film is that it presents these terrible fears of witchcraft and Satanism not just as metaphors, but also as concrete realities. Yes, the film has a symbolic message about the dangers of unchecked patriarchy and religious hysteria, but make no mistake--in Eggers' world, the Devil and his magically powered minions are very much real. This is period drama, but it is also very much supernatural horror as well, and not ashamed of it.

Virtual unknown (not for long) Anya Taylor-Joy stars as Thomasin, the repressed teenage daughter of renegade fundamentalist preacher William, played by gravel-voiced veteran British actor Ralph Ineson. Thomasin longs deep down to be free of her drab and spartan life, especially after her father's extremist ways force even the Puritans to say, "Hey, this guy is kind of a looney tune," and banish the whole family from the community and into the terrifying, untamed New England wilderness. She longs for sweeter times at home in England, and seeks emotional escape through playfulness and imaginative flights of fancy.

And yet, she is rejected by her family. She is seen as a threat and burden by her mother Katherine, played with stern desperation by Kate Dickie, perhaps best known for her performance as the batty, breastfeeding Lysa Arryn on Game of Thrones. Her younger brother Caleb (breathtaking child actor Harvey Scrimshaw), at the very beginning of his sexual awakening in such a repressive environment, can't help but begin to view her in an erotic fashion. And her fiendishly precocious youngest siblings, the twins Mercy and Jonas, are terrified and outraged at the willfulness they see burgeoning inside her, labeling her a witch with the same childish zeal that undoubtedly led many innocent women to their deaths in Salem.

Thomasin is both tempted and horrified by the potential presence of Satanic forces in the woods near their homestead. Gradually but confidently, Eggers paints a picture of encroaching doom, as the family is preyed upon by this force and picked off, one by one. As with many horror films of the Satanic subgenre, there seems to be an implicit message that the Devil exists, but God does not--or at least if He does, He is far less directly manifest than His dark counterpart, preferring to have His followers stick it out for themselves rather than intervene directly. In typical Puritan distrust of the natural world, here the Lord of Darkness takes animal form, as a rabbit, a crow, and most memorably of all, in the form of the family's prize goat, Black Phillip, a creature who has enthusiasts of the film (including this one) singing his praises like so many black sabbath revelers.

There is moral ambiguity at play here which only adds to the richness of the experience. William's religious fervor and pride, coupled with his practical ineptness, has recklessly condemned his family to poverty and near-starvation. It is painful to watch these folks praying desperately to a God who simply does not seem to be listening, or to care, all while a cruel intelligence tears them apart. Clearly, part of Eggers' message is the futility of blind faith, and in fact the harmfulness of it. The family members turn against each other, and the Devil and his minions use each of their weaknesses against them: William's pride and stubbornness, Katherine's attachment to her children, Caleb's sexual curiosity, and even Thomasin's desire for freedom.

Chafing at the bonds of her father's faith, her future seemingly dictated by his choices, she embraces the darkness in the end, giving in to the frightening voice inside her that was pushing her toward it all along. And yet, in Eggers' world, this is not the black-and-white issue the Puritans themselves may have viewed it as. Forced to accept the inherent sinfulness of her nature as preached endlessly by her father, she could not even enjoy the acceptance and affection of family, but was constantly pushed away by parents and siblings she loved. Instead, she finds unconditional acceptance, and yes, freedom at last, in the silken, soothing tones of Black Phillip and the release and power offered to his followers. Moments after being compelled to murder her own mother in self-defense, she seems to heave a figurative sigh of relief, and her first instinctive actions are to literally let her hair down and remove the attire that had kept her physically and emotionally bound up. In the final moments of the film, she rises above everything, once again quite literally, and exults in complete and total joy. It is thrilling, cathartic, and terrifying, all at once.

This is a film without easy answers, that challenges our beliefs as great art should. Is Thomasin's character arc the ultimate expression of feminist independence, or a reinforcement of the very anti-feminist stereotypes promulgated by Puritans both then and now? From where I sit, Eggers seems to be using the reported accounts of witchcraft from those olden days to weave a very modern story that delivers a moral that probably would've been abhorrent to the religious thinkers of that time. It is about the rejection of a constrictive society for the liberty of hedonistic indulgence, and not necessarily as a bad thing. And it generates fear on a deep, primal level.

Cinematographer Jarin Blaschke and composer Mark Korven both contribute greatly to achieving Eggers' vision of inevitable gloom and despair. Blaschke's work is bleak and understated, recalling some of the best work of Kubrick lensman John Alcott. And Korven, best known for his work in documentaries, delivers a chilling, relentless aural onslaught that is part Philip Glass, part Gyorgy Ligeti.

Such work enhances some of the most disturbing imagery I've encountered in horror in a long time. Caleb's death scene, played with shocking maturity by young Scrimshaw, is something from which I fear the hairs on the back of my neck may never fully recover. Caleb's encounter with the witch in the woods, a moment that would make the Brothers Grimm proud. Katherine's breast-feeding scene (a Game of Thrones inside joke, perhaps?) makes the last scene of Paul Solet's Grace seem like Elmo's World. And the unexpected moment (for me, at least) when Black Phillip does indeed speak and the Devil reveals himself made me gasp in enthralled shock.

Horror often gets a bad rap for being a genre that seeks primarily to make us feel a basic human emotion, as if that were a negative in and of itself, something cheap or undesirable. It's very encouraging to find one that makes us feel in such an emotionally complex way, and also makes us think. The Witch is a powerful piece of film that represents the best that horror can be--less Eli Roth, and more Nathaniel Hawthorne. It's one that I'll certainly be revisiting many times in the years to come, and was more than worth the effort of delving back into The Vault of Horror one more time. If you haven't seen it, do so. If you have, see it again.

Oh yeah, and Hail Black Phillip.



Monday, October 25, 2010

The Shadow of Samhain: A Saturday in Salem


For the record, I take this Shadow of Samhain thing very seriously (so much so, in fact, that it looks to be spilling over right into November...), and therefore, it became clear that before the series had reached its conclusion, I would have to pay my very first visit to one of the epicenters of the occult, one of the places most dear to the history of pagan traditions--Salem, Massachusetts. So last weekend, I packed up the fam-- three generations of Solomons strong--and made that trek up the Mass Turnpike to the place where, in 1692, one of the worst atrocities in American history took place.

In the end, I learned a great deal about the true history of witchcraft, about the realities of the actual witch trials, and perhaps most decidedly of all, about the horrendous traffic conditions in Salem in October. To put it as simply as possible, people, my best advice to you is that, if you decide to visit there between now and Halloween, use a helicopter. Maybe one of the shopkeepers will let you land it on their roof, I don't know. All I know is, at the end of a six-hour drive--three of which consisted of looking for a place to park--I was about ready to be burned at at the stake (or, more properly, hanged, as my witch-expert blogger buddy Andre Dumas points out.)

However, it truly was a blast to experience, and I'm glad we took the trouble to head out there. There is a rich tradition that permeates that town, and an almost tangible sense of the supernatural that seems to lurk around every corner. Supposedly, the town rests on some ancient crater that focuses occult energies--it sounds like something out of Ghostbusters to me, but hey, I'd certainly like to believe it's true.


Right off the bat, one of the attractions that caught little Zombelina's interest was the mysterious House of the Seven Gables, made famous in Nathaniel Hawthorne's novel. To satisfy my daughter's curiosity, we headed over there forthwith, only to discover that it was completely sold out for the day (how does a historic landmark "sell out", anyway?) Nevertheless, I managed to sneak the little one past the ticket line and on to the grounds of the house for a bit, even if we couldn't go in. We were able to find the birthplace of Hawthorne, which did give the English major in me a shiver of glee.


From there, we discovered a most unique and interesting place. It was the World of Witches Museum, on Wharf Street. Whereas most of the museum-like attractions in the town are preoccupied with the actual Witch Trials of 1692, this place seemed to be the only one providing a genuine overview of and appreciation for the entire history of witches and witchcraft, from a Wiccan point of view. Highly recommended for anyone interested in learning more about the actual Wiccan community of Salem, beyond all the tourist-trapism. At one point, they encouraged my kids to pick out gemstones from a pile, as a way of divining something about their personality--whereupon we learned that my son, Wee-Sol, is destined to basically rule the world at some point. So there's that.


Pirate ships, eclectic shops and spooky old graveyards were the order of the day, until the evening came, and it was time for the trolley tour. Thanks to this tour, I was able to learn that apparently Salem is haunted by about 67,492 ghosts. In fact, if I had to estimate, I'd day it's more than likely that there are more spirits residing in the town than living people. If our tour guide is to be believed, that is. Let's see, there's the famous Joshua Ward House, haunted by one-time Salem High Sheriff George Corwin; the jewel thief and the woman in white who haunt Baker's Island; and of course, the restaurant Rockafella's, a former church believed to have so much supernatural activity, it's a wonder there's any room for the patrons.

Are these stories true, or based on any semblance of truth? Honestly--and this is something I picked up in the wild and woolly world of rasslin', where tall tales are the order of the day--I don't really care. I'm more interested in the pleasure of hearing the tale than in discerning its veracity. I want them to be true--and that is good enough for me.

Following our tour and a quick bite to eat, it was time to depart the fair town of Salem and head for home (yes, it was a mere day trip--what can I say? We're a family of masochists.) The long, thankfully traffic-free ride home was filled with ruminations of witchery and things that go bump in the night. I'm very glad I had the opportunity to finally see the Halloween capital of America. Perhaps an annual visit will be in order from here on in...

Friday, October 15, 2010

The Shadow of Samhain: Witches and Halloween

This time I bring you the one and only Amanda Norman, UK photographer and writer extraordinaire, who is responsible for the The Vault's current outstanding banner. Amanda has chosen to explore the connection between witches and Halloween, a subject I understand will be explored further as the Shadow of Samhain series progresses....

I have been fascinated by witches and Halloween for as long as I can remember.

When I was a teenager, I was informed by my mother that we are descendants of Old Chattox, aka Anne Whittle who was tried and hung for witchcraft at Lancaster Castle, Lancashire, UK in 1612.

Better known as ‘The Pendle Witches’ due to them living in or around Pendle Hill in Lancashire, Old Chattox was head of one of the two families accused, the other being Old Demdyke and her family. The two families hated each other as it was believed that a member of Old Chattox’s family broke into Malkin Tower, the home of the Demdykes and stole belongings.

Between the two families, they were accused of murdering ten people and they more than likely hung themselves as they saw an opportunity to get revenge by accusing each other.

How it Started

Alizon Device, granddaughter of Old Demdyke encountered a peddler and asked him for some pins. It wasn’t clear if she was begging, but the peddler refused and a couple of minutes later suffered a huge stroke that killed him. Back in the 1600’s superstition was rife and it was believed that Device cast a spell to kill the peddler. Alizon upon being questioned confessed that she had sold her soul to the Devil. Alizon’s brother James also stated that his sister had confessed to bewitching a local child. Alizon also accused Old Chattox of murdering four men by witchcraft and of killing her father John Device who had died in 1601. Her father was said to have been so frightened of Old Chattox and her powers that he had agreed to give her 8lbs of oatmeal each year in return for the safety of his family. The oatmeal was handed over each year, but stopped a year before his death and John confessed on his deathbed that his sickness had been caused by Old Chattox for him not paying protection.

Elizabeth Device when being questioned claimed that her mother, Old Demdyke, had the mark of the Devil upon her body known to you and I today as a birthmark. I have the mark of the Devil upon me, but luckily I’m living in an era where superstition and ignorance isn’t paramount.

Have you ever asked yourself why witches are associated with Halloween?

Old hags with warts on their broomsticks or stirring a cauldron are associated with Halloween, but why?

Celtic belief tells the story of the old God dying on Samhain (Halloween) and the Crone Goddess mourns his death for the next six weeks by stirring her cauldron of life for all dead souls to return.

Samhain is the celebration to mark the end of the third and final harvest and is a day to commune with and remember the dead.

Walpurgis Night is the eve of May Day, (May 1) and is often associated with witches celebrating the oncoming of Spring in Central and Northern Europe. Another connection I personally have with this is that my Mother was born on May Day. Many countries celebrate this by lighting bonfires and burning straw witches and broomsticks.

You might be asking yourself if I’m a witch.

No I’m not; I do however claim the souls of models who dare to pose for one of my dark portraits....

Saturday, June 5, 2010

The Lucky 13: Week Three: Demons, Witches & The Devil


The Lucky 13 is back at you for week number three--an unflinching journey into the occult! That's right, we're turning our attention to horror's satanic manifestations this time around, and choosing our favorite flicks pertaining to all things demonic. As always, this little undertaking is happening in conjunction with Brutal as Hell, and what's interesting this week is that all three selections here mirror selections made by members of the BAH crew--apparently there's a bit more agreement around here than usual, perish the thought!

Anyway, deviltry comprises horror's most tried and true sub-genre, going all the way back to the very first horror movie, Georges Melies' 1896 short film Le Manoir du Diable. Lots of hellish nightmares to choose from, so let's jump right in! (And P.S. how did no one on either site choose The Exorcist...???)

B-Sol on Suspiria

Suspiria is Argento at the very height of his powers. It's definitely the closest he comes to being the Italian Alfred Hitchcock, which I've always felt was his goal. The levels of genuine suspense, the ebb and flow of tension that he is able to create here is truly staggering. It really is all about the sensory feast Argento and his crew have cooked up for us. Luciano Tovoli offers up some truly sumptuous cinematography that epitomizes Argento's philosophy that horror can actually be beautiful. The lighting is intriguing throughout, with some truly breathtaking use of color--red being the theme, of course.

This is a rich, textured film, and I find I take away something new from it every time I watch it. I enjoyed it from the very first time I saw it, about 12 years ago, but I don't think I fully appreciated it until I started re-watching it. There's just so much being thrown at you, that I think first-time viewers can be a bit overwhelmed by it all. But this film is like a fine wine that ages wonderfully, and provides greater and greater pleasure over time.

It's also a perfect example of technique over content. It's a true filmmaker's film. While the script and acting are all adequate, that's not what keeps me coming back to this film over and over. Rather, it's Argento's enthralling style, the deft manner in which he crafted this gorgeous, gorgeous film. In addition to being a filmmaker's film, Suspiria is also a horror fanatic's horror film. It might not be the best to show someone who's only a casual fright flick fan, but for those more discriminating lovers of the cinematic macabre, Suspiria remains a titan of the genre. As a horror film, it is all but perfect.



From Beyond Depraved's Joe Monster on The Ninth Gate

The Ninth Gate is a film, in my opinion, that seemed to have gone under the horror radar back in 1999. I hardly ever bump into any genre fan who admits that they like it or have even seen it. This upsets me a bit. In a way I can understand; it is helmed by the same director who gave us Rosemary’s Baby, another more popular take on Satan’s rising. The Ninth Gate is a really fantastic film in its own right, though. It is cloaked in a palpable sense of mystery and foreboding that effects me every time I watch it. Roman Polanski’s mastery behind the camera creates one of the most engaging and disorienting pieces of cinema dealing with Evil incarnate.

Book detective Dean Corso (Johnny Depp) has been hired by the brooding Boris Balkan (Frank Langella) to authenticate his copy of The Nine Gates of the Kingdom of Shadows, a forbidden tome that is reputed to conjure up Lucifer himself. Corso must travel across the globe to compare Balkan’s volume with the only other two in existence. But as he investigates further into the cryptic engravings that adorn the book, Corso finds himself being followed not only by a mysterious Girl (Emmanuelle Seigner) but also a cult of devil worshipers and a killer who is intent on claiming the engravings to bring about the Dark Lord’s arrival.

Although erroneously marketed as an action-packed film in the vein of End of Days, The Ninth Gate very well could have been made in the '40s as one of Val Lewton’s psychological shockers. The film exposes the monsters present in the human soul while taking place in a world populated by looming shadows and the glowing eyes of watchers unseen. There are little visual nuances and clues that adorn the proceedings, much like the pictures of the diabolical book’s pages.

One of the enjoyable aspects of this movie is noticing things that have gone unseen in previous viewings. People are seen out of the corner of the eye, occult images are hidden in the background, and the overwhelming sense of ominous events to come never leaves. It’s a film that gets under your skin and makes you feel uneasy in the best possible way. We can’t help but feel that the Devil is center stage the entire time, slinking in the shadows of a hallway or heard between the whispers of a book’s turning pages.

The performances only enhance the atmosphere of the film. Corso is reminiscent of the antiquarian heroes of Lovecraft’s stories, albeit a more cynical, greedy and self-absorbed variant of H. P.’s protagonists. Langella simply oozes presence as the film’s main villain, and his deep voice is enough to make you realize that this guy is serious when he’s speaking. Rounding out the leading players, Seigner is both mysterious and infuriating as the girl Corso calls Green Eyes. The writing and Seigner’s elusive performance combine to confuse the viewer, constantly making you unsure of her motives and perplexed as to her unexplained protection of Corso.

The Ninth Gate is a fascinating puzzle, one that may leave the viewer with more questions than answers. Figuring everything out is half the fun. The question is, though: are you brave enough? Dare you seek the Devil out? The film is a descent into darkness, an exhilarating journey where your very soul may be on the line. I think it’s worth the trip.



Cinema Suicide's Bryan White on Prince of Darkness

Before I'm through, I'll probably have cited several John Carpenter flicks as my favorites. He is head and shoulders above the rest as my favorite director, and Escape From New York tops the list of my favorite movies. Carpenter started to slip after Big Trouble In Little China, but before the decade was up, he would kick out a couple more sweet flicks before everything went black: They Live and Prince of freakin' Darkness.

A scientific research team is summoned by the clergy of a burned-out old Los Angeles church to investigate the church's dark secret, a vat containing a constantly swirling liquid which is said to be the physical manifestation of Satan. The team finds out the hard way that it is, indeed the devil, but rather than being a malevolent personality in the form of beast or man, Satan is a primal force whose energy and matter has a corrupting influence over everyone around it. Its ultimate goal, however, is to bring an even bigger, more powerful and evil force trapped in another dimension into ours.

I'll be straight with you. Prince of Darkness doesn't make a lot of sense, but it has a lot of great ideas that play nicely together. It stars a couple of Carpenter favorites, Victor Wong and Donald Pleasance, and graces us with a cameo from horror rocker supreme, Alice Cooper. The movie is also creepy as all get-out. It marked a strange period for Carpenter when he was given especially small budgets to make movies, but with those budgets came complete creative control.

What you got was hare-brained goodness, and a love letter from Carpenter to another demonic favorite of mine, Quatermass and the Pit (aka 5 Million Years To Earth). The plots, though taking place in different settings and under different circumstances have a lot in common, namely the wicked discovery of an ancient, lost artifact that exhibits a corrupting influence upon everyone who comes into contact with it and the only thing capable of stopping it is SCIENCE! The script, by Carpenter, is actually credited to one of his many name-dropping pen names, in this case, Martin Quatermass. The researchers also hail from Kneale University, so-named for the writer of the Quatermass series, Nigel Kneale, who also wrote Halloween III.



* * * * * * * * * *

Head over to Brutal as Hell to see what Marc Patterson and his crew have come up with. And if you're interested in taking part in the future, just give Marc or myself a holler.

Week 1: Grindhouse & Exploitation
Week 2: Creature Features & Monster Movies

Join us next week, when it'll be all about the red stuff. That's right, time for gore movies!

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Retro Review: Suspiria

Apparently, I'm in some kind of an Italian horror mood, as can be evidenced by the Catriona MacColl edition of Woman of the Week I contributed to Day of the Woman earlier today. Now, I'm continuing that theme with a special look at a movie which I strongly feel is one of the absolute modern masterpieces of the genre, Dario Argento's shining jewel, Suspiria (1977).

Argento can be a frustratingly erratic director, but generally speaking, he is one of the modern masters, and Suspiria is Argento at the very height of his powers. It's definitely the closest he comes to being the Italian Alfred Hitchcock, which I've always felt was his goal. The levels of genuine suspense, the ebb and flow of tension that he is able to create here is truly staggering.

Based loosely on Thomas de Quincey's 19th century novel Suspiria de Profundis, the movie tells the story of an innocent new student at a ballet academy who makes the terrifying discover that the school is merely a front for a bizarre coven of witches. But you know what? I'm tempted not to say it, since it sounds like a knock, but Suspiria is the kind of a movie where the plot points are somewhat irrelevant.

In fact, this is a property of many of the best Italian horrors. And in the case of Suspiria, it really is all about the sensory feast Argento and his crew have cooked up for us. Luciano Tovoli, who in later years would shoot such American films as Reversal of Fortune, Single White Female, and Kiss of Death, offers up some truly sumptuous cinematography that epitomizes Argento's philosophy that horror can actually be beautiful. The lighting is intriguing throughout, with some truly breathtaking use of color--red being the theme, of course.

There are shots in this film, for example much of those making up the stunning opening murder sequence, that really should be studied by film students everywhere. I'd say it's the kind of movie you could totally watch and enjoy with the sound off, but then you'd be missing out on another major reason the movie works so well--the insistent, profound and off-putting score by Italian progressive rock band Goblin. Their music washes over the film, bathing it in atmosphere.

This is a rich, textured film, and I find I take away something new from it every time I watch it. I enjoyed it from the very first time I saw it, about 12 years ago, but I don't think I fully appreciated it until I started rewatching it. There's just so much being thrown at you, that I think first-time viewers can be a bit overwhelmed by it all. But this film is like a fine wine that ages wonderfully, and provides greater and greater pleasure over time.

In addition to that classic opening sequence, with its unforgettable heart stabbing, there are so many moments that stay with me. The strongest one for me has always been the sequence involving the one unfortunate student who flees frantically from her pursuer, only to find herself plunged into a room filled with razor wire. This is among the most memorable scenes I have witnessed in any horror movie, and I find myself referencing it often. A truly nightmarish scenario brought brilliantly to life by Argento, Tovoli, and Argento's favorite editor, Franco Fraticelli.

Some point to the surrealistically bright red blood employed by special effects director Germano Natali as a negative, but I think those who grasp what Argento is doing know that realism is never what he's going for. The blood itself is beautiful in a strange way, adding to the aesthetically appealing brutality that is Argento's stock-in-trade.

For as much as I love Lucio Fulci, and as underrated as he was in his ability to create a mood, nothing he ever did rivaled the masterful work accomplished here by Dario Argento. As horror films go, Suspiria is an absolute gem, and a true pleasure to watch, in a way that few horror movies are.

Suspiria is also a perfect example of technique over content. It's a true filmmaker's film. While the script and acting arer all adequate, that's not what keeps me coming back to this film over and over. Rather, it's Argento's enthralling style, the deft manner in which he crafted this gorgeous, gorgeous film. Some may say it's a self-conscious style, but I eat up with a spoon every time. I never find it overbearing or pretentious--rather, I only wish all of Argento's work could live up to the quality of this picture. Although I also love films of his like Deep Red and Tenebre, there is only one Suspiria...

In addition to being a filmmaker's film, Suspiria is also a horror fanatic's horror film. It might not be the best to show someone who's only a casual fright flick fan, but for those more discriminating lovers of the cinematic macabre, Suspiria remains a titan of the genre. As a horror film, it is all but perfect.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

The Tuesday Top 10: Most Horrifying Cartoon Characters

One of the things that appeals to me about doing a weekly Top 10 is the ability to think outside the box and go for topics that might not be strictly tied to horror movies, but more to horror in general. Case in point: this week's Tuesday Top 10, in which I am taking a look at the most frightening animated characters it's ever been my perverse pleasure to witness.

When considering candidates, I ruled out movies/shows intended only for grown-ups; it would've been too easy to collect a bunch of baddies from Heavy Metal, The Maxx, Wizards, etc. No, I thought it would be much more of a challenge to focus on characters that have actually scared the bejeezus out of little kids--in some cases, little B-Sol himself. Oh, the benefits of a horror-drenched childhood!

10. Cruella De Vil
101 Dalmations (1961)
She resembles a harpy, has vicious streaks of white through her hair, and her all-consuming goal in life is to slaughter a gigantic litter of puppies and use their skin to make a coat for herself. If that isn't the stuff of nightmares, then I don't know what is.

9. Gollum
The Hobbit (1977)
My fifth grade teacher thought it would be cool to show us this Rankin-Bass TV chestnut in class. Imagine my ten-year-old mind reeling at the sight of this bizarre, freakish thing. Still, this movie did kick off a lifelong Tolkien obsession. "Where there's a whip...there's a way!"

8. Maleficent
Sleeping Beauty (1959)
One of Disney's more underrated evil queens, I first came across her Satanic majesty at a double-feature of Sleeping Beauty and The Black Hole way back in Nineteen-Hundred and Eighty. I maintain this is one of the Mouse House's most boy-friendly features, and this shape-shifting bitch is one of the main reasons why.

7. Skeletor
He-Man and the Masters of the Universe (1983-85)
Kind of a no-brainer. He's a roided-out blue dude with a skull for a head. Even though he's voiced by the same guy who did the voice of that lovable Falcor in The Neverending Story, he still freaked the snot out of me every weekday afternoon after school...

6. The Apple Bonkers
Yellow Submarine (1968)
OK, I chalk this up mainly to being a really little kid, but good lord did these guys creep me the eff out. Towering, mindless drones dropping giant apples on people's heads and turning them to stone. "Smash them! Crash them! O-BLUE-TIRATE THEM!!" Shivers...

5. The Witch
Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937)
She was pretty hot in a secret-BDSM-fantasy kinda way in her evil queen form, but once she transforms herself into that gnarled-up, bug-eyed old crone... permanent childhood trauma. Never realized how many nightmarish villains Disney cooked up...

4. Mumm-Ra
Thundercats (1985-87)
I know, I spent way too much time on weekday afternoons watching action cartoons instead of doing my homework. But how could I pass up a show in which the main villain was a jacked-up, maniacal mummy? Although I never remember hearing him say this. Would've ruled, though.

3. Gen. Woundwort
Watership Down (1978)
OK, do you see that picture over there? Do I need to say anything else? This flick was on constant rotation on HBO when my fam first got it in the early '80s, and this grizzled hideous old rabbit, kept me glued to the couch in terror. Or maybe that was just my mom's plastic couch coverings...?

2. Gargamel
Smurfs (1981-90)
A hideous wizard who tried relentlessly to track down a cute village of friendly, fun-loving little blue fairies. So he could cook and eat them. Maybe not as many kids deconstructed their cartoons as much as I did...

1. Other Mother
Coraline (2009)
My big regret is that I'll never know what it's like to experience the sublimely frightening Coraline as a child. But at least I got to vicariously experience it through my own progeny. And for my money, there has never been a more thoroughly soul-chilling creation to ever appear in an animated film than this grasping, malevolent, twisted perversion of motherhood. It just taps into the psyche on so many levels. Or at least my psyche. Paging Dr. Freud...
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