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Showing posts with label Hump-Day Harangue. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Hump-Day Harangue. Show all posts

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Hump-Day Harangue: Why Hammer Beats Universal (Almost) Every Time



As a fan of classic horror—by which I mean anything before Romero’s zombies threatened the countryside and Rosemary had her baby—I’ve often gotten caught up in that eternal debate: Which studio was superior, Universal or Hammer? And by writing this, by no means do I want to denigrate one or the other, or imply that one is subpar. Rather, both the Universal Studios output of the 1930s/40s and the Hammer output of the 1950s/60s/70s represent high watermarks in the history of horror. It’s just that, given the choice, I usually go with Hammer.

That’s right, I’m choosing the Brits over my own countrymen. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy Universal’s iconic cycle of horror flicks, which first introduced moviegoing audiences to the likes of Dracula, Frankenstein, the Mummy, the Invisible Man, the Wolf Man and more. I just believe that by reinvigorating the gothic genre in the era of radioactive monsters and exploitation, Hammer did Universal one better and set the benchmark even higher.

Let’s get one thing out of the way, first and foremost—in my estimation, both James Whale’s Frankenstein and The Bride of Frankenstein are superior to any film ever put out by the Hammer studio. That said, outside of those two films, I generally find the Hammer body of work to be more enjoyable than the Universal body of work. There are a number of reasons for this.

Maybe chief among them would be that Hammer represented my original introduction to the horror genre. I like to think I’m not so prone to such a subjective view, but I must at least entertain the possibility that I’m biased. As a very small child, I first discovered what horror was all about thanks to those weekend afternoon showings of Hammer gems on syndicated TV in New York. Channels 5, 9 and 11 were my tutors in pop culture, and among the gifts they gave me was Hammer. In fact, Hammer’s Lust for a Vampire may have been the first horror movie I ever saw.

But beyond this mere nostalgia, there’s more. As time went by and I came to discover Universal not long after, I also developed a strong love for their brand of horror as well. But it never supplanted Hammer in my heart.

Not to sound like a Philistine, but a large part of this had to do with Hammer’s vibrant Technicolor. One of the main elements that the studio itself took pride in was that it was reinventing these classic horror tropes in a color medium, replacing Universal’s crisp black and white with the garish, comic book-like hues never before seen in gothic cinematic horror. And while generally I deplore the attitude that black and white is somehow inferior, in this case—especially as a child—I was more drawn in by those bold, almost shocking colors.

Needless to say, one of the main uses Hammer made of that full color palette was to show blood. And by “blood” I mean some of the first major instances of simulated bloodshed ever seen in horror movies, especially of this kind. Whereas the Universal canon was more staid in its presentation, leaving more to the viewer’s imagination (often due to constraints from the Hayes Committee), Hammer let it all hang out, splashing the camera with more bright red plasma than had ever been seen. This meant that instead of a fangless Dracula (all due to respect to Bela Lugosi), we got a fanged and fierce Christopher Lee, gore dripping from his lips, his eyes ringed in scarlet. For an eight-year-old, literally the stuff of nightmares.

Hammer made a splash (pardon the pun) through their then-liberal usage of blood, but they also became known for something else: beautiful women. Although it may sound silly to harp on it, Hammer’s unprecedented emphasis on sexuality was a big deal, and also helped usher horror into a new era just as much as the blood did. The buxom and often exotic women who populated Hammer’s films brought blatant sex appeal like never before, in stark contrast to the often prim and buttoned-up sexuality occasionally glimpsed in Universal. This is not to say that Universal horror was not dealing with sexual themes, just that they did it in a much more (necessarily) subtle and subtextual way, whereas Hammer—in typical studio fashion—loved bashing you over the head with it.

Another aspect of Hammer that they often don’t get enough credit for is the return of gothic horror to its proper Victorian roots. Whereas Universal’s films often took place in some vague, unknown time period that seemed like a confusing cross between modern times and the 19th century, Hammer was careful to set its stories firmly in the Victorian era (or earlier in some cases). 

This worked especially for many of the tales, like Dracula and Frankenstein, which were set in earlier time periods and were for the first time being presented that way—but Hammer went much further than that. Perhaps out of a sense of national pride in their own fabled history, they enjoyed making nearly all their films period films, delighting in breathtaking costume and set design that really gave you a sense of being in an earlier time. It would be a new standard that would be copied by all gothic horror going forward, right up until today.

In short, I think what makes Hammer my preferred source for classic horror is that their output generally works better as horror films, if that makes sense. While the Universal classics were usually more polished, especially those of the 1930s, and were superior as films, Hammer’s work was just downright scarier, with more of a flair for the horrific. While Universal had fine filmmakers like Tod Browning and Whale, exceptional cinematography from the likes of Karl Freund, brilliant set design from the likes of Russell Gausman, and of course the writing of the great Curt Siodmak, Hammer answered back with workhorse director and writer Terence Fisher and Jimmy Sangster, meticulous costume designer Molly Arbuthnot and the blaring musical scores of James Bernard. 

While Hammer generally worked with a smaller budget, they made you feel as if their productions were more lush. Universal may have been more mainstream and high-profile, especially in the U.S., but Hammer made up for their technical shortcomings with more of a genuine relish for horror. They threw themselves into taking the groundwork laid by Universal and ratcheting it up about five or six notches. And they were damn good at it.

So while I thoroughly enjoy my Karloff, Lugosi and Chaney just as much as the next horror nut, my soul belongs, in the end, to Cushing and Lee. Pressed to make a choice between Universal and Hammer, I’ll go with Hammer. But it’s kind of like asking me to choose between Sinatra and the Beatles, or Marvel and DC—I may go with the Chairman and the Board and the House of Ideas, but that shouldn’t take anything away from my profound love for the Fab Four and the Distinguished Competition as well. There’s room for all in my horror-lovin’ heart.

And if you, like me, enjoy a good Hammer flick—or two!—I urge you to join me tomorrow night in Bridgeport for BEDLAM AT THE BIJOU: Hammer Horror, a unique double feature in which I’ll be screening both Hammer’s version of The Mummy and the vastly underrated Curse of the Werewolf! Plus, we’ve got Hammer DVD and book giveaways, and a special appearance by the LoTTD’s own John Cozzoli of Zombos Closet of Terror! Hope to see you there, Vault dwellers…

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Hump-Day Harangue: The Truth About the Zombie Apocalypse

This is a post I feel I shouldn’t have to write, and it’s almost embarrassing to address. It’s probably going to make me a tad unpopular with some readers, or perhaps it might make me sound a little arrogant—but so be it. I’ve been sitting on the sidelines for a while, and it’s time to make up for lost time.

By now, we’ve all been beaten over the head with the stores of “real-life zombies” and all sorts of “zombie-like” attacks being reported in the news. There was the lunatic in Miami who spent 20 minutes chewing someone’s face off. Then there was the other lunatic in New Jersey who ripped his own guts out and threw them at cops who were pursuing him. Plus the media poring through police blotters to dig up anything that sounds like a pattern from the last year, trying to make everyone panic and think that some kind of actual zombie uprising is happening. It’s what they love to do, and they do it well.

Folks, there are two elements to the harangue that I’m diving into today. My first thesis:

If You Really Think a Zombie Apocalypse Is Going to Happen, You’re an Idiot


The so-called "Miami Zombie" (left) and his victim.
 The scariest thing to me about this whole zombie conspiracy thing in the news is not any of the actual stories, but the way some people have really bought into the hysteria hook, line and sinker. Again, it almost embarrasses me to have to address, since I think that 99% of rational people realize that the concept of flesh-eating zombies is fictional and is not possible in the real world. Nevertheless, there is a contingent of mental midgets out there who really do believe that it’s happening. I know; I come across them every day.

I think these are the same people who believe Elvis is still alive, or that people are visited by the Virgin Mary in their bowl of Frosted Flakes. They’re the ones who think the world is going to end this autumn because the Mayans said so. The same Mayans who believed they needed to kill someone every day to make sure the sun would come up in the morning—forgive me if I find their scientific findings suspect. I’m living in Bridgeport these days, and no one said it better than that city’s patron saint P.T. Barnum—There’s a sucker born every minute, and two to take him.

I really think we’re living in a culture in which many people have lost touch with the boundary between entertainment and reality. These are the people who will quote chapter and verse about all the “rules” of zombie biology and behavior, as if they exist in some textbook somewhere, and weren’t merely invented by screenwriters to serve their narrative needs. What person could believe that an impossible supernatural scenario invented for a movie could somehow magically become real? Answer: A whole lot of them.

Not real.
Here’s the bottom line, and I apologize to all those without missing chromosomes who don’t need this explained to them: The modern movie zombie was created in the minds of George Romero and John Russo. It was later embellished by other filmmakers like Dan O’Bannon, Lucio Fulci and Edgar Wright. It is not based on anything that exists in the real world. It is fiction. A serious disconnect in logical thinking--or a lack of understanding of the creative process--has to exist  in the mind of anyone who would actually believe that the creation of someone’s imagination could just come into being—as if seeing it in a movie somehow makes it exist. It startles me how much people will simply decide something is real, just because they really want it to be real, and for no other reason. I think this is how organized religions get started.

If only this were true! Imagine if our favorite film genres could just spontaneously cross over into the real world? I love The Warriors—but I do not believe that New York may be overrun by silly, themed gangs of face-painted thugs just because that movie exists. I love kaiju—but I don’t entertain the notion that Japan will be attacked by giant monsters, simply because some guys made some movies in which it was.

My girl.
Look, if anyone knows about the delusional zombie fixation, it’s me. My girlfriend is a high-profile zombie personality, for crying out loud! Captain Cruella has many fans, most of whom are sane individuals (OK, maybe I’m being a little kind)… But there’s not a day that goes by that she doesn’t take note of the fact that there seem to be people out there who really believe she is a zombie. Who ask her legit questions about what it’s like to be one of the undead, without seeming to understand that she is a flesh-and-blood human being playing a character (sorry to blow up your spot, babe!) This is the kind of thinking that we’re dealing with here.

The sad truth? These are not zombies committing these crimes. These are just ordinary, run of the mill, garden variety wackos. And the further truth is that this stuff happens all the time—and that real people are far more terrifying than any fictitious beasties conjured up in the movies. There is nothing more to it than that, despite how ardently some delusional people may believe otherwise. Which brings me to my second point…

If You Think These Stories Are Funny, You’re a Creep

Alexander Kinyua, a Maryland college student
who apparently ate his roommate.
I think this may separate me from a great many of my fellow horror freaks, and that saddens me. I’m disappointed in a lot of you. See, I’ve talked about this before, but I’m not one of those horror fans who thinks that John Wayne Gacy is awesome, and fixates on real-life atrocities with morbid glee. I gravitate toward horror for precisely the opposite reason—to escape the far worse horrors of the real world. I like my horror fun, and these days I try not to take it too seriously. I don’t find real life horrors to be cool or badass.

Call me naïve, but I never imagined things would get so bad that news of murder and mutilation in the news would be met with ironic, amused commentary and downright joyful laughter from intelligent people. I’m all for making fun of things, but I’m a firm believer in the old axiom that comedy=tragedy+time. The key word there is “time”. Our culture has apparently become so desensitized that many people have no qualms about simply jumping on these “zombie” news stories and having a jokey field day.

Horror fans in particular are guilty of this. Is it the way we glut ourselves with uber-violent entertainment that enables us to no longer register pity or revulsion at these stories? I’m not advocating censoring or curtailing anyone’s entertainment, as I partake in much of it myself. But I think some of us need to sit down and realize that these are real human beings whose tragedies we are deriving so much entertainment from. These are not characters in a Friday the 13th movie, getting sliced and diced by Jason as we cheer him on. These are real people—could be someone’s parent, child, sibling, whatever. Could be you.

Do you think Ronald Poppo, the homeless man lying in a hospital bed in Miami right now, will find it funny or ironic when he awakes to discover that much of his face has been torn off? He will have to live with that for the rest of his life. Is the news of a man hurling his own internal organs at the police a “cool story” because it sounds like something that would happen in a horror movie—or is it rather something that we should find profoundly disturbing? In a humane society, stories of people attacking babies should not provoke snarky chortles. No matter how much these things may resemble scenes from horror movies, let’s not get so immersed in our entertainment culture that we forget the difference.

In short, Vault dwellers--flesh-eating undead zombies are not real. Never have been, never will be. What is real, however, is the fact that some people have suffered and witnessed some unspeakable violence. Let’s try to focus on reality, remember our humanity, and save our horror fantasies for the movies, where nobody really gets hurt.

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Hump-Day Harangue: Did American Horror Story Really Go Too Far?

A few weeks ago, an editorial was run regarding American Horror Story on the very popular celebrity gossip blog Oh No They Didn't (yes, I already became annoyed due to the name of the site.) I immediately took interest, since FX's American Horror Story has held me as willing captive since it debuted the last month. You can read the article here, but the gist of it is that ONTD took AHS to task for the November 9 episode, in which a Columbine-style school shooting was depicted.

The reason for the taking-to-task was that apparently the show went "too far" in featuring such a starkly realistic and reality-based event. The author of the piece, who goes by the nome de blogue of Paris Dior Chanel, felt that it hit far too close to home, and was just too heavy for a show of this nature. Ms. Chanel believes that reality and horror really shouldn't mix, which immediately pegs her as someone who is just not very familiar with the horror genre. Particularly, she seems to find the show to be campy, silly fun which shouldn't get bogged down in real life:
American Horror Story is, despite all of its silliness and overly manufactured mood, an undeniably entertaining show. It's campy and creepy and doesn't seem to take itself too seriously, as it shouldn't. It's not the kind of horror thing that demands we imagine ourselves in the situation in order to be scared, which would require the show to exist at least somewhat within the bounds of the real... It's fun!
Now, I know "fun" horror. In fact, it's become my preference in recent years. I do not find American Horror Story to be "fun". Nor do I find it to be campy. In fact, I'd say one would have to be decidedly jaded and/or cynical to interpret the show in that fashion. Chanel seems to dismiss the show as disposable cotton candy entertainment.

In my estimation, American Horror Story is the best-written horror TV show to come down the pike in years. It's smart and thrillingly executed, filled with brilliant characterizations and real depth of feeling. It's the kind of horror show that is so well-written, in fact, that I think it would still work and be entertaining even if all the horror elements were removed. It is sinister, dark and challenging. True Blood is campy. AHS is not. Yes, Jessica Lange's Constance character does enter into camp territory in the grand tradition of former leading-women playing crazy old ladies in horror films (think Bette Davis and Piper Laurie), but that's about it. I think there may be some preconceived notions here on the author's part, perhaps owing to the fact that the show comes from the creators of Glee?

AHS is gritty, unflinching horror that delves into the human psyche and goes places we're not necessarily comfortable going. That's what it's supposed to do. It's not The Munsters. As such, it is will within the realm of acceptability for Ryan Murphy and company to incorporate real-life tragedy into the mix. As opposed to what Chanel asserts:
Was last night's opening scary? Of course. It was tense and awful. But it wasn't the right kind of scary for this dopey show. The chief (if perhaps initially unintentional on the creators' part) product of this show should be laughter... That's the kind of silly, ultimately empty scare that American Horror Story is best at. A school shooting is not that. That's far too real, far too much of a downer for a dumb Wednesday night.
Clearly, Chanel is viewing the show from a very different perspective from mine. So her opinion of the shooting storyline obviously draws from a very dismissive opinion of the show. If one considers AHS to be silly and dopey, than I suppose I can see how it would be out of sorts for truly disturbing material to be included. Yet I, and many others, find the show to be anything but silly, and its scares to certainly be anything but empty.

There's nothing dopey about botched abortions, mutilated babies, people burned alive and hit-and-run accidents. How about the home invasion and torture depicted in the opening of episode 2? Why did that fit Chanel's limited view of AHS, and not this? As for the scares, they come from places deep and dark; places like parents' fears over protecting their children, the anguish of secrets that won't stay hidden, and existential angst and insecurities common to us all. Empty? Campy fun? Are we watching the same show?

American Horror Story was well within its domain featuring a school shooting. Not only should Murphy and the gang not shy away from such subject matter, but I urge them to keep it coming. I can appreciate light-hearted horror, but that's not what AHS is. The show should remain true to itself, and keep challenging us. If I wanted silliness, I'd have gone to see the Abercrombie & Fitch vampires and werewolves at the movies last weekend.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Hump-Day Harangue: Whither the Horror Movie Icon?

Vault dwellers, allow me to take you back to an earlier time in the history of our fair genre. Go ahead and hop in the Delorean--just watch your head on the door, I don't know what genius designed it that way, but what are you gonna do? Anyway, we're headed back to a simpler, more innocent time, when horror was dominated my living legends, by giants who walked among us and filled our minds with delicious nightmares, fusing their very personae with the essence of the genre itself. This is the age of the horror icon.

Our first stop is the 1920s, when a brilliant actor and makeup artist by the name of Lon Chaney became horror's first bona fide movie star. After his star faded and the industry entered the age of sound, Universal gave us the likes of Boris Karloff, Bela Lugosi and Lon's baby boy to continue the tradition, populating the terror landscape with a platoon of unforgettable movie monsters. In later decades, the likes of Peter Cushing, Christopher Lee and of course, the one and only Vincent Price ensured that the cult of the horror icon remained undead and well.

But then something happened. Something changed with the onset of what we now call the "modern era" of horror. For the benefit of creating a handy cutoff point, let's say that from the 1980s onward, the phenomenon of the horror movie icon suffered a swift decline. Sure, there were still actors making their living in the horror genre. But icons? In the sense of the folks mentioned above? Hardly.

Who have we been given over the course of the past 30 years to match the majesty of the likes of Karloff, Price, Cushing, et al? I ask this as an honest question. Am I, as I have sometimes been a accused of being, a horror snob? Forgive me if the Kane Hodders of the world just don't do it for me. I'll never get tired of looking at pictures of him pretending to choke people at horror conventions, but honestly, he's a stuntman in a hockey mask. A buoy with arms could've played Jason Voorhees. Robert Englund? A delight as Freddy Krueger, to be sure, but beyond that? A merely amusing character actor who would've remained best known as the "good alien" on V had it not been for that hat-wearing son of 100 maniacs.

Who else do we have? Doug Bradley? Tony Todd? Linda Blair? Maybe Brad Dourif comes close... I may be off-base here, but while these are all actors who have done a fine job crafting specific characters, I think even they would agree that they don't quite belong ranked in the category of the immortal legends of yesteryear mentioned earlier. Quite literally, they don't seem to make 'em like that anymore.

So what happened? What is it about modern horror that seems to inherently discourage the notion of the horror icon? Perhaps it is the stress on realism, the need to downplay the more obvious elements of showmanship and bombast that once played a larger role in genre entertainment. I firmly believe that horror films of the golden and silver ages of the 1920s-1960s were more "personality"-driven then they are today. Hell, I'd say that movies in general were more personality-driven back then, for better or for worse. Those larger-than-life figures have a hard time carving out their niches when the funner, "Famous Monsters of Filmland" approach to horror has come to be considered passe.

Quite frankly, these days, when we talk about horror film icons, it's easier to use the term to refer to directors than actors. After all, the true visionaries of horror these days, the names and personalities most closely linked to the genre in the minds of fans, are those of the likes of Dario Argento, John Carpenter, David Cronenberg, Wes Craven, George Romero, et al, rather than the actors who appear in front of the camera. This is a shift that has certainly occurred within the past 40 years, no question about it. But unfortunately, directors are more visionaries than personalities for the most part, so in the end it's a very different dynamic.

I'm not trying to say that the supernatural horror film has completely given way in the face of reality-based horror--far from it. There still remains more than enough room for monsters and entities of all shape and form, but whether we're talking serial killer flicks or zombie movies, there's a greater stress on realism, and I feel that realism, while it has its pluses, is decidedly the enemy of the horror film icon. There are standout characters, but for the most part, the actors who play them are linked pretty much 90% to one role alone. For the most part, Gunnar Hansen is Leatherface. Warwick Davis is Leprechaun. Clint Howard is the Ice Cream Man. Ahem, ok that one was a stretch, but you get the point.

They may have been before my time for the most part, but I miss those genuine, transcendent icons. Those individuals who literally embodied horror, and who in many ways towered over it. I hope we get to see more rise to that level one day. If they're out there, and I'm just not giving them their due, please put me in my place, by all means...

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Hump-Day Harangue: The "Let Me In" Trailer--OK It Won't Suck, But Is It Necessary?

Let's get this out of the way right off the bat, because I've been sitting on this and mulling it over for quite a while. As many of you know, and have probably seen elsewhere, the first official trailer for Let Me In, Matt Reeves adaptation of John Ajvide Lindqvist's Swedish novel Let the Right One In, was unveiled earlier this month. For those who haven't seen it yet, here it is:



To merely refer to it as an adaptation of the novel is to be a bit coy however, as we all know that the book was, only two years ago, adapted into a superb Swedish film by Tomas Alfredson. It was a film which many called the greatest vampire movie of all time, and I would personally rank among the best films I've seen in recent years, perhaps second only to There Will Be Blood as the best film of the '00s. It was powerful, it was moving, it was expertly acted and directed, with an unforgettable score and a timeless quality few contemporary films maintain.

And so, to a certain extent, we must admit that Reeves' Let Me In is just another in a long line of English-language horror remakes put together in the wake of a successful foreign film, much as we saw with Quarantine ([REC]), The Ring (Ringu) and many others. Yes, Reeves claims to be going back to the original source material, but you and I both know that this movie would not have been made were it not for Alfredson's film. So what do we make of it?

Granted, my knee-jerk reaction is to lament the inanity of the American movie machine, which seems to have lost all faith in American audiences consuming anything that isn't completely spoon-fed to them. I mean, why not simply dub these successful foreign films into English if you're so worried about Americans not wanting to read subtitles? Did they remake The Good, The Bad and the Ugly in 1968 with all American actors? I guess the closest thing I can think of to this modern phenomenon is the way the original Gojira was ruined with new footage to appeal to American audiences in 1956. Is that really the model to be emulating?

But on the other hand, everything I've seen regarding this American version has been impressive. Chloe Moretz of Kick-Ass seems pitch-perfect as Eli (or Abby if they insist) and this Kodi Smit-McPhee kid they got to play Oskar (Owen...sigh, what's wrong with Oskar??) also seems up to the task. Checking out the trailer also gives me even more hope that this will be a good movie--the look is right, it seems to be faithful to the material, and the relationship between the two leads feels right. Also, love that Morse code ending. This does not seem (too much) like a watered-down Americanization. Some of the calm beauty of the Swedish film seems to be replaced with the typically dire, potboiler tone most Americans are more used to, but that could very well be the way the trailer is edited. And of course, Eli has been unequivocally confirmed as a girl, which was to be expected.

Still, one has to ask, why bother? If the reason is to truly go back to the book and do something different, they don't seem to going about it that way at all. Watching that trailer felt very much like watching Alfredson's film, down to specific moments and shots being mimicked (much like Quarantine did.) Sure, they're apparently exploring some stuff from the novel that wasn't in the other movie, such as the ultra-bizarre Hakan subplot, but quite frankly, from what I've seen, that doesn't seem to be playing much of a major part. Rather, it seems mainly to be aping Alfredson's work. And if that's the case, no matter how great it is, I'm still going to be walking away scratching my head wondering why it was even attempted. Or more accurately, I'll be shaking my head, knowing precisely the only reason it was attempted: another easy payday.

I'm so on the fence about this project, it's not even funny. Let the Right One In is a movie that's very close to my heart, and sure, I know the old saying, no matter what they do with it, the original still exists for me to enjoy. I just can't decide whether I'm happy about this new version or not. It does seem intriguing and well-made, I just hope that Reeves and company live up to their promise and give us something fresh and new--the novel is fertile enough ground to allow that--rather than just another spoon-fed American remake.

* * * * * * * * * *

REMINDER: For those who feel they missed out on the greatness that was Kevin Geeks Out!, I encourage you to get down to 92YTribeca in Manhattan this Friday night for the encore presentation of Mr. Maher's most acclaimed shlockfest of them all: Kevin Geeks Out About Sharks! I attended the initial presentation, and I can tell you it's a night you will carry with you till you sleep in Davey Jones' locker. Shark cupcakes will be provided for all, plus the first 10 people to arrive get a copy of the sold-out comic book Grizzly Shark and Sea Bear!

Kevin Geeks Out! returns for one night only, so don't miss out, dweebs! Get the ticket info and stuff at Kevin's blog.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Hump-Day Harangue: A PLEA FOR MORE EDGAR WRIGHT

This small rant is brought to you by BJ-C of Day of the Woman


I'll be the first to say it, Edgar Wright is THE man. I don't think there's ever been a film or television show that was associated with him that I didn't like. In my eyes, the man can do no wrong. He's universally accepted as being awesome and has brought us one of the best genre films of the last decade. So why the HELL is Michael Bay still getting more publicity than him? My god. If I have to turn on the television and see one more film having to do with Michael Bay, I'm going to throw up. How many explosions does one film need?! I'm so sick and tired of sub-par film makers being given oodles of money simply to stroke the minds of idiot film-goers and teenagers sitting in the theaters hoping to get to second base by the credits.


Cinephiles everywhere constantly complain about the lack of character development in 99% of the films that hit the silver screen, and yet one of the few directors who consistently gives an audience a slice of life in his films gets brushed under the rug. Avatar may have made a kazillion dollars, but what do you remember about the film other than "it looked sweet"? When you discuss Shaun of the Dead, I guarantee the first thing that comes to mind is how amazing the characters interacted with each other, rather than the zombies.


The man knows how to make a film, and how to do it well. I want more Edgar Wright in the films. I know he has some incredible projects coming up, but I want to REALLY put this man to work. If I had it my way, Edgar Wright would be involved in just about any film of merit ever created. I want the Blood & Ice Cream trilogy to be a never ending saga, damn it! BRING ME MORE CORNETTOS!!!

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Hump-Day Harangue: Walking Dead Cast Takes Shape...

Not really much of a literal "harangue" this week, if you must know the truth--more of a cautiously optimistic nod of approval, as the anxiously anticipated AMC series adaptation of Robert Kirkman's The Walking Dead comic book series becomes more and more of a reality.

Yesterday, rumors of Brandon Routh being cast in the show were debunked by the actor himself. I'll admit, I couldn't quite figure out who he was going to be playing anyway, especially since two of the prime roles had already been cast.

Speaking of those two roles, it's very interesting to see that AMC is going with relative unknowns for the most part in this, its first wholly owned TV property. The basic cable channel has been on fire lately with shows like Breaking Bad and Mad Men (my personal fave on TV right now), inheriting the throne of TV excellence once firmly inhabited by HBO. And those are both shows which have benefited greatly from having some fresh faces in key parts, so it's understandable that AMC would continue the trend.

As is our wont, we geeky internet types had a ball speculating as to which recognizable actor could take on this or that role. I know I recently conducted a poll which asked who should play lead character Rick Grimes, with choices like Lost's Josh Holloway, Supernatural's Jared Padalecki and Parenthood's Peter Krause (my choice at the time.) In the end, AMC went with British actor Andrew Lincoln (pictured), perhaps best "known" for his supporting part in the 2003 ensemble pic Love Actually. Playing his cop buddy Shane will be Jon Bernthal, an even less known commodity whom I mainly recall from his part as Al Capone in the sequel to A Night at the Museum (hey, I have kids, it comes with the job.)

In the end, I have to give kudos to AMC for resisting the allure of "name-brand" actors, although I'm sure the lower price-tags may have been a crucial factor in the decision, as well. Much like Mad Men, this is the kind of a show that will benefit greatly from a cast of relatively unrecognized talent (although it should be said that Lincoln is fairly known in the UK for his television work.) This shouldn't be something like a CSI or Law and Order spin-off, packed with familiar faces and big-time movie stars slummin' on TV. One of the selling points of The Walking Dead is its dedication to presenting a "believable" zombie apocalypse, as much of an oxymoron as that may be, and the presence of famous celebs would no doubt be a bit distracting.

Kirkman himself seems to be excited, although if I were in his shoes I'd be excited if they had cast Jerry Stiller and Fyvush Finkel in the leads. Nevertheless, I think The Walking Dead has lots of potential to be something very special, and as location scouting kicks off and shooting is almost ready to begin, I gleefully await the realization on screen of one of the strongest comic book series I've read this decade.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Hump-Day Harangue: Weighing in on the GoreZone Controversy

I realize I'm a bit late to the dance on this one, so bear with me. But this has been a situation I've been watching for some weeks now, with great concern. Specifically because it ties into something I ranted at length about some time ago--namely, bloggers getting pushed around by those who can't handle a bad review.

By now, most of you know the story. I first was made aware of it by the blogger Cyberschizoid. Write-ups on the matter followed at Chuck Norris Ate My Baby and Zombos' Closet of Horror. It seems that one Dangerous Jamie of the blog Let's Get Dangerous posted an open letter to Britain's GoreZone magazine in January, detailing his various problems with the current state of the publication, and how it might improve.

The letter seemed innocuous enough. It was carefully worded, constructive and rational in its criticism. It was by no means what anyone would call an unfair attack. Yet, it wasn't long before Jamie's blog was being inundated by troll commenters leaving hateful, obscene and vicious remarks. One of them even claimed to be Bryn Hammond, Editor-in-Chief of GoreZone. However, this was proven to be false--as were the identities of some 14 other commenters. The kicker is that all these comments were coming from the same IP address, which allegedly was located within GoreZone magazine itself.

From there, legal action was taken against Jamie for the post in question. I'm no expert on freedom of the press in the UK, or UK laws regarding libel, defamation and such, but there's no way that a magazine can sue a critic for writing a negative review of said magazine. If so, what kind of insane door would that open? As has been pointed out, GoreZone itself reviews movies and other things--could they conceivably be sued for writing a bad review?

Jamie (pictured, left) was accused of libeling GoreZone with his open letter, of attempting to harm the magazine's sales. This, when Jamie himself was libeled outright by some of the most heinous comments I've ever seen on any blog, all the while remaining civil in all his responses. It's also interesting that one of Jamie's main points in his post was that GoreZone is riddled with spelling and grammatical errors--and then, you guessed it, almost every comment bashing Jamie and supporting GZ was also riddled with the same.

He was forced to remove a GoreZone cover image from the post, when, to my knowledge, using an image like that for review purposes is completely kosher. Thankfully, this seems to have been all they've been able to coerce him to do. Ever since the IP address controversy, the GoreZone folks seem to have mysteriously backed off, and Jamie himself has not heard a word from the lawyers or anyone else in weeks.

Thankfully, lots of readers and bloggers have shown Jamie support in this unfortunate situation, including the aforementioned, as well as Robert Ring of The Sci-Fi Block, who helped get the story covered on Techdirt, a website which covers technology-based legal issues. The situation even caught the attention of Roger Ebert, who mentioned it on Twitter.

And speaking of Ebert, the legendary film critic was lambasted, along with Jamie, in an interview given by the real Bryn Hammond with the website Screen Jabber. Hammond denied the claim that the phony negative comments were coming from within GoreZone itself. But in defending himself, he really did himself no favors, describing Jamie's responses to him as "naively spouting off about freedom of speech and all that bullshit." Hammond also warns both Jamie and Ebert (who never came down on either side of the issue, by the way), to "really watch that kind of bullshit they're writing and talking about."

It's very unfortunate that a blogger could be so thoroughly bullied by a corporate entity, but sadly, it doesn't surprise me. As was stated in the CNAMB write-up, this would definitely not be happening if it had been a major website or other entity that published the critique. But because it's someone they consider unimportant and defenseless, they try to pressure him into retracting his criticism. Thankfully, the situation seems to have calmed down a bit, as someone must've informed GoreZone that they don't have a legal leg to stand on.

I had not been all that familiar with GoreZone before this debacle (I do remember a Fangoria satellite mag with the same name in the '90s, but I don't think they're related), but the whole thing has pretty much ensured I will not be picking up my first issue anytime soon. If this is the way they operate, I want nothing to do with them. In fact, I won't even entertain the notion of buying an issue until Jamie gets an apology, and I encourage anyone disturbed by the matter to do the same. I doubt that apology will ever come about, but so be it. Judging by what's been spewed onto Jamie's blog and elsewhere, I don't think I'm missing much.

It's very important that companies like GoreZone not be simply permitted to get away with bullying small, independent bloggers and other journalists. If we allow it to happen once, it's just going to keep happening, and getting worse every time. Folks like that shouldn't be emboldened--it should be made clear to them that such behavior cannot be tolerated in a free society.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Hump-Day Harangue: Bruce Campbell--What's the Big Deal?

Another guest-harangue from Marilyn Merlot, who dares to question the appeal of one of horror's most beloved thespians...

The more important question after this might be how many women are not going to be a fan of me? Yes, I’m putting it out there. I never saw the big appeal of Bruce Campbell.

I know he’s a big fan favorite with horror websites, blogs, etc. But when I started reading through the interviews for Ms. Horror Blogosphere that the handsome Mr. Solomon put together, I started to ask myself the same question that he was asking some of the lovely contestants. “So what is it about Campbell that you all like, anyway?”

So I thought about it, too. I started off like many other people, catching him as Ash in the Evil Dead movies. At first glance back then, I thought, not bad, easy on the eyes, nice body. Then I was like, okay, this is what everyone’s talking about? Here he’s supposed to be a “real man”--a hero, even. But instead, he’s this whiny little bitch who is just as scared as the girls, and screaming like one. So, if you were his girlfriend, he would be someone you cannot rely on. He would be more likely to throw you in front of himself in self-defense.

Then there is the disaster of Evil Dead II. He is fighting with a possessed hand--enough said. I’ll be honest, I actually had a hard time getting through that movie. I found it laughable at times. I understand that he is a B-movie guy and definitely a B. or maybe C-actor at best. Don’t get me wrong, I like my B-horror movies, but with Bruce and his movies it’s just the same old thing after a while.

For instance, let’s jump ahead to My Name is Bruce. Here, he is still trying to capitalize on the character of Ash from The Evil Dead. Seriously, Bruce? Ash is long gone and done with, let him go. Even Corey Feldman knew he made a mistake when he went back to make Lost Boys: The Tribe. Then, to see someone in his 50s still chasing young starlets around who may be just turning 20 is a little creepy.

When all is said and done, you have a huge fan following, Bruce Campbell, and have made a fine living out of your movies. So until the next Evil Dead movie, I will continue to laugh at your expense.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Hump-Day Harangue: Cannibal Holocaust--What's the Big Deal?

Going along with the Cannibal Holocaust theme today, I bring you a special guest HDH from Vault contributor Marilyn Merlot, who was less than impressed with the notorious film, and clearly has a much stronger constitution than poor little me (except when it comes to turtles)...

So, after so much hype surrounding this movie, and so many people asking me if I’d ever seen it, I really felt like Cannibal Holocaust must be the movie to see. I was also hoping it was going to leave a lasting impression on me. I guess in some ways it did, because I still can't get over what a letdown it was!

The movie is concerned with a documentary team of three young men and a young woman. They are heading for the South American jungle to search for real cannibals. But did anybody else feel this movie was more about torturing and killing animals than humans? Cannibalism is the act or practice of humans eating the flesh of other human beings. Granted, don’t get me wrong, this movie did have its graphic, violent rape and torture scenes (though not nearly enough).

I felt like for the most part these people were running around lost in the rain forest and killing animals. Maybe this is why I was let down. When you have the word CANNIBAL in the title, I’m thinking the movie is going to have more to do with violence against humans than animals. Also--and this has happened to me before--I think I may have watched it way past its prime. Maybe it would have had more of an effect on me if I had watched it when it was first released in the U.S. in 1985, when I was only 10 years old.

Anyway, to end my little rant, for those of you who may have not seen it yet, I will leave you with the one thing that really got to me. I’m all for something gruesome and a little gory, but Holy Ninja Turtle, that scene with the giant river tortoise can almost make anyone vomit. So please watch with caution, and with a bucket or toilet nearby...

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Hump-Day Harangue: Harold Ramis, I'm Ready to Believe You

The confirmation seems to have finally solidified. Writer/producer/actor Harold Ramis, also known to fans as Dr. Egon Spengler, collector of spores, molds and fungus, has officially declared in an interview this month with Heeb magazine that the third film in the Ghostbusters franchise will lense next summer, with a 2011 release date planned. And I couldn't be happier.

Here's part of what he had to say:

Something's going to happen. Dan [Aykroyd] did write a spec GB3 screenplay a few years ago, but no one was motivated to pursue it. Now, 25 years after the original, there seems to be some willingness to proceed and apparently a substantial public appetite for a sequel. We'll introduce some new young Ghostbusters, and all the old guys will be in it, too. Think Christopher Lloyd in Back to the Future. [not sure what the heck that means]

Granted, I think I have a bit of a sunnier outlook on all these latter-day continuations of '70s/'80s franchises than some. While we can all agree that--with the exception of the second half of Revenge of the Sith--the Star Wars prequels were utter abortions, I wouldn't say the same, for example, about Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crysytal Skull, which, although it was no Raiders by any means, I got a kick out of. I also geeked out hardcore to Bryan Singer's Donner-faithful Superman Returns, and was utterly blown away by Stallone's return in Rocky Balboa.

So, why not the Ghostbusters? As a kid, it was my favorite movie, hands-down. And while the sequel was one of the major letdowns of my young moviegoing years, I've still always held out hope that a superior third installment would happen. I even remember getting excited some years back thanks to rumors of a new GB flick that would include Chris Farley and Chris Rock amongst the new generation. Sadly, that never came to pass.

But now, this. Ghostbusters fever has been growing lately, as the '80s generation is now at the height of its decision-making power in Hollywood (see Transformers and G.I. Joe. Well, on second thought, don't.) We've seen major excitement this year surrounding just a new video game using the original cast members, so it was a no-brainer that interest would resurface in a Ghostbusters 3.

The optimistic part of me believes that with this many people involved--quality individuals mind you, the Murrays, Weavers and Reitmans of the world--it would have to be an impressive project to get them all on board at all (although I can hear the Crystal Skull haters chiming in on that one). Still, I particularly feel this way about Bill Murray. The guy has gone on to be such a bigger deal than he was even then, and has a rep for choosing solid roles. He has nothing to gain by being part of a lackluster sequel, and I'd bet he was the toughest one to convince to take part at all. So it gives me hope that he'd consent to be involved.

What also gives me hope is a very interesting tidbit of information leaked earlier this month. It's divided the fan community, but you can count me among the intrigued. Apparently, while promoting Avatar to the press, Sigourney Weaver let slip that in the new movie, Dr. Peter Venkman will be... a ghost.

If you've been monitoring the news, then that's no news to you, but I have to say that it has me more jazzed than ever. Talk about throwing the status quo out the window and going all-out! With Venkman as a spook, this will definitely be no by-the-numbers nostalgia-driven reunion movie. This is something different, unique, and interesting. This shakes things up.

What will be the dynamic? Will he be at odds with his fellow Busters since crossing over to the other team? Will he still be a part of the team, even in phantasm form? What, if anything, will be his relationship with Dana, and their son Oscar--who, at this point, is rumored to have grown up to be one of the famous paranormal investigators and eliminators?

Add to this the fact that the guys behind the American version of The Office are penning the script (possibly based on Dan Akroyd's older treatment?) and this is shaping up to be something of a potentially highly entertaining nature. It's been two decades since the boys in gray donned their proton packs (unless you count Ray Stantz' 1995 cameo in the Casper movie, which I sure as hell don't), and I'm more than ready to welcome them with open arms.

Back off man, their scientists.

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