Born to be crass, a loud brassy tart

Our Great Earth Mother, our Patron Saint of Sleaze - Divine would have been 80 years old yesterday!

On this Tacky Music Monday, if this doesn't wake you up, nothing will...

Divine - Born To Be Cheap

Cheap, cheap
I was born to be cheap, cheap
A child no mother could keep, cheap
As sure as there's trash
I was born to be cheap

I was born to be helpless, I was born to be cold
I was born to never do what I'm told
I was to be shallow, wasn't born to be deep
Of all the things I was to be cheap

Cheap, cheap
I was born to be cheap, cheap
A child no mother could keep, cheap
As sure as there's trash
I was born to be cheap

I was born to be crass, a loud brassy tart
No one can accuse me of having a heart
I was born too fast

I don't do it twice with anyone, GET CHEAP!

Cheap, cheap
I was born to be cheap, cheap
As I'm walking down the street, cheap
I'm always too much
I was born to be cheap!

I think I'll have those lyrics recited as my eulogy when I go.

Have a good week, dear reader!

Divine (born Harris Glenn Milstead, 19th October 1945 – 7th March 1988)

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PS

Happy Diwali!

Beware of the Boys*

The delightful Ranveer Singh is my choice of Mithai!

Today is the feast day of Diwali - the Hindu "Festival of Light". True to form, we here at Dolores Delargo Towers are regularly "entertained" at this time of year by explosive fireworks night after night (some of which might be to do with this celebration, some might be early revelry to mark Bonfire Night this Friday; or indeed they might be for other many-and-varied celebrations in our multicultural neighbourhood from now until well into the New Year).

Regardless, raise a glass of Sharbat cocktail to those (often surprising) artists of Indian origin who have contributed to the world of popular music - including these...

Cornershop - Brimful of Asha

Engelbert Humperdinck - Quando, Quando, Quando

Freddie Mercury - Living on my Own

...and then there's this [which was sampled in one of our favourite mashups ever]!

Panjabi MC - Mundian To Bach Ke

Diwali ki Shubhkamnayei!

[* "Mundian To Bach Ke" = "Beware of the Boys" in Hindi]

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P.S.

Scarily, it is the sixtieth birthday today of Ralph Macchio, aka The Karate Kid!

click to embiggen

Gawd! I had such a crush on him in the 1980s - and it is somewhat surprising to discover that he is in fact two years older than me...

Divas, vaginas, oil lamps and sparkle

Happy (wet and gloomy) Diwali, dear reader! It's supposedly the Festival of Lights but I suspect, what with lockdown and the rotten weather, it is more likely to be the festival of brollies and cagoules...

The traditional oil-burner above is apparently called a "Diva", which makes it even more appealing to us at Dolores Delargo Towers - and gives me a perfect opportunity to play this (intentionally piss-taking) number:

All India Bakchod with Kangana Ranaut - The Bollywood Diva Song

Quite possibly the only song and dance number in history with the word "vagina" in its lyrics...

Satire aside, however, let's get back to the more traditional glamour, sparkle and silliness we always associate with Bollywood:

Madhuri Dixit and Aishwarya Rai - Dola Re Dola [Devdas]

I'm tempted to take the curtains down and have a twirl across the lounge...

Camera, lights, action, and more lights

Happy Diwali!

The Hindu festival of lights is a joyful occasion that sees people attend feasts, set off fireworks, exchange gifts, and decorate their homes with beautiful lamps, bells and flowers. The festival symbolises the spiritual "victory of light over darkness, good over evil and knowledge over ignorance." Many regard Diwali as a new beginning, or the start of a new year. It is celebrated by millions of people across the globe.

Just today, the northern Indian city of Ayodhya has made it into the Guinness World Records when more than 300,000 diya oil lamps were simultaneously lit, and giant puppets portraying the battle between Hanuman the monkey god and the demon king Ravana were displayed in Leicester, UK.

Let the party begin - in the company of the gorgeous Shahid Kapoor and a few (ahem) thousand chums...

Nagada Nagada Baja (from Jab We Met)

I'm exhausted now.

Diwaali muubaarak

Happy Diwali everyone!

And what better way to celebrate but with some camp, Bollywood-style...

First, Dola Re Dola:

Kavita Krishnamurthy, Shreya Ghoshal and KK - Dola Re Dola (Devdas, 2002)

An "Indian Dance Extravaganza" [full listing of clips here]:

Indian Classical Dance Extravaganza!

And, of course, my favourite dance routine from Moulin Rouge:

Hindi Sad Diamonds

More about Diwali - the Hindu festival of light